My bully boss should pay for my therapist, my marriage therapist, my yoga, my loss of sleep, my loss of hair, and loss of appetite. She is the biggest bully I will ever know and it is really a shame people like that are allowed to keep jobs. Anyone can be a manager, it takes a bright mind and kind soul to be a leader.

Do not trust HR to be on your side, even when you document everything to a T. They have to protect the company, first and foremost.

These bully bosses are helpless in their personal lives so they take it out at people in work

Bully bosses are more often than not narcissistic personality types. They do not feel empathy or remorse like normal people.

i was bullied by my boss. i tried standing up the them, but it all backfired....so i eventually quit. i was tired of putting up with all that crap. i was tired of crying everyday from the stress they put me through. i am very happy now. i don't care about the crappy paycheck . I have peace of mind. thats all that mattters.

Do not waste time . No use. Majority of bully boss will find way to fire you sooner or later if you try to stand up for yourself. Move on. Life is too short to deal with those evil Bastard

If you tell your boss he's bullying you, you have just lost all your possible cards. If you think you can turn a bully into a reasonable person, you are wrong from the very start. Don't bet on that. There is but a single way to deal with a bully: don't show your emotions, be distant and unemotional. And of course, the best way is to quit that job, but most of the times a boss is bully because he knows you can't quit - mainly for financial reasons.

Excellent advice! Sadly, had to finally leave, wayyyy too much stress, toxicity and anxiety provoking environment,...😓

If you work for a big company, they are on the bully boss side, NOT us. I've seen it happen again and again. Sad truth 😩

When I stood up I was accused of insubordination

I don't want to have to handle 'bully bosses' i want bully bosses to learn to handle themselves like human beings and leave the bully at home and bring the professional at work

Thank you so much for making this video. I just had a HORRIBLE experience today because of a bullying supervisor. It caused me to not be able to think clearly and make mistakes that normally I would never have made, and I'm pretty upset. I was basically told I had NO right to speak about it, and some other unpleasant treatment, and now I'm afraid of being there at all. But this video made me feel better, because I know that something should be done about bullying in the workplace by legislation. It literally can ruin someone's life, for long time anyhow.

Hi I can relate as I suffered a lot from workplace bully.

The boss who's also an Employee acts like She's the owner of the company 🤣🤣🤣

i had a bully boss so i ignored her and did my job, in short we both got laid off because i did my job and another company bought us out, thank god!

Some times i wish we are in purge movie 🎥

Thanks for doing this series. I've been bullied so much and so severely through my career that I finally gave up completely and went on disability for major depression. Your work really matters.

It's a no win situation. I stood up to the owner, told him he was screwing with the wrong person, and invited him to step outside the building to discuss the situation. He was a gutless little twit with a severe Napoleonic complex but at the end of the day, it was his company. The only choice is to remove yourself from the situation.

Best advice in my experience is LEAVE. Do not stay with a bad boss full stop it will make your life miserable and is not worth the time for you to get grey hairs earlier in life. Be humble and LEAVE, they need you not the other way round because you have options, they didn't that's why they gave you the job. I have proven this several times, every staff member I had under my belt will tell you I was the best manager they ever had, proof is in the pudding.

Bullying is a form of discrimination against targets. If a boss disregards or diminishes your good work, you are bullied, and should be able to sue.

Contact your legislators and tell them to support the anti-bullying legislation!

Youre truly an amazing human being for helping people like this. A lot of attorneys don't.

Thank you, this is helpful. I've recently had a coworker promoted over our team who is become extremely bullying and hostile towards me. I have already filed a complaint with human resources and we've been through mediation which I thought was a waste of time. I like the steps here because they're clear And directive. Thank you again.

One such boss it took me ages to get him, (don't think bad of me but he was evil to many) his own ways give him heart problems so one night I stepped out of the dark in front of him it shit him up but it did not work but made him frightened ,,next time he was working on his car in company time but the phone rang he went to answer it and left his car keys,,so I unlocked his petrol (gas) cap and put 3 pints of water in his tank, he had just filled up ,, he broke down at 6 am on his way home he had to drain his tank walk miles and get petrol,, When he retired I sent a letter to his wife and to his son and daughter explaining in great detail what a worthless piece of shit he was, I don't feel bad about it ,because of the stress and misery he caused others,, nearly forgot he had a bad habit of running over tacks with his car tyres,,

The worse the economy gets, the worse the bullying gets. The fewer jobs there are, the more bullies put their friends and family members into jobs.

3. Evidence was disregarded, witness's were threatened with termination. 4. Handbook means nothing, as HR is in the middle of it as well, even having the company owner making rules and behind their back the problems continue. I've seen it to where people quit and suddenly the family member suddenly walks into a job.

Man I Just Hope That My Boss Go To Jail For Harassing

Thank you; but it doesn't always work this way; eg. at universities or research institutions where things run on such a regular basis and abuse and bullying takes place in a very subtle manner ... Often it is even difficult to track the real bully behind, who is instrumentalising everything and every one to do the "dirty" job ... Susprisingly in such circles, a bully can always find someone who does the "dirty" job ... Thanks for reading ...

There really needs to be a law passed I been in too many jobs where there is a bully boss. You just have to get out because nothing will change once the bully boss targets you. I show up everyday work hard and cause no drama.

I blew that whistle and all the work place knew it was me. Supervisor and manager ended up getting fired, serves them right the bullying bastards. Only problem was the whole work force then turned on me, and I had to leave as I ended up being despised as a result . (I'm the bad guy now apparently?) 😂 If any of you are considering doing what he is saying, be sure to keep it to yourselves and don't tell even your closest work colleagues. When it comes to money and job security, people will throw you under that bus without giving you a second thought...remember that 😳

Here is my advice: Life is too short trying to fix a bully who is quite frankly, mentally deranged. There is no reason why you have to spend your energy in doing so. Have self respect and save your sanity by leaving or better, put all that energy in working overtime in finding another job. Let karma do her job: jerks will reap what they sow eventually but until then you have moved on to greener pastures.

I worked at a place that was dominated by one senior technician. He kissed up and kicked down. He was charming and charismatic and at first when people warned me about him I thought that they were jealous that he and I were friends. He turned out to be a real lunatic and I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a psychopathic killer. Upper management knows about these people. There are many ways to tell when a department has a bully. The problem is that upper management got to where they are by being the bully.

thank you for this very practical advise. It's reassuring to know i'm not alone and that I and my co-workers can take proactive action. we need to be empowered to shine the light on these evil, destructive, narcissistic control freak- bosses.

Screw this. You'll always lose against a bully boss.

Thank you for posting this. I'm being completely railroaded by my bully boss, and am trying to prepare an "evidence-based" defense for my Management Inquiry tomorrow. Too late on the anonymous angle however.

I know so many people who wrote letters and complains about my bully boss. She is still there and being horrible to all of us without any changes!!!

Just had a negative experience with former boss and this video really helped me get an idea of what to do next. Thanks.

This is excellent advice. I wish I had seen this in 2016 when I was relentlessly bullied at work.

Dear Alan, Thank you for your precious time and information. It is a bit too late for me to complain to the bully boss discreetly, but the battle between HR, boss & me goes on (last 12 months now). In the beginning, I was making a snaped and emotional engagement, BUT now I am more calm and systematic with my claim. Digging through the employment law and using Toulmin Model with my argument :)

Thats really helpful sir. I played your video loudly just now to let the neighbour heard it coz shes been bullied for many times by her boss. We work as house helper in Singapore and a lot of helper here were maltreated badly inside the house so silently

EXCELLENT words of wisdom! Thank you so much, we needed this advice at work. I will share this information at work so that all of us can send a letter! God bless you.

These are very good suggestions I wish I had followed in past horrible situations. I recommend beginning early on because one's brain can get addled by fear and stress as things progress.

Really appreciate your information. Interesting and prevalent topic. Thank you profoundly for giving hope.

Don't snitch. Make yourself more valuable than your boss.. More satisfying listening to the horseshit knowing they can't do nothing but yap

The vast majority I have encountered are usually mid-level manager mums.

I have known people in work situations that, if they so much as meekly and politely tried to reveal what they were going through, were cited for insubordination. Best wishes to the bully them back folks but that rarely works. David cannot always slay Goliath. Just try to keep calm at all times. I am so sorry for people who go through this. Going to work should be cause for excitement and happy anticipation NOT dread, handwringing, and actual nausea! Remember, if the narcissistic boss tries to portray you as a mental case, you must even more be a picture of mental and emotional stability. These irrational, raging, out of control monsters must be allowed eventually to target an employee who WILL make a legal issue of their abuse. I have seen THIS happen with success.One bullied woman said she filed a suit and won. She said they all know now that she is not one to mess with! She works in peace! May God comfort all who go through this. A better day is coming! Let KZfaq videos educate you, let the comments of others enlighten and strengthen you! Peace,

Bully bosses only exist because there's a company policy that protects these people. Gather proof, find others exactly on your situation, go to his/her boss. If it backfires it means the company protects these individuals. My advice is to go to court (depending on the issue) or find another company.

I was too emotionally exhausted from my job to find the energy and focus to document the bullying. I just resigned and hope I land on my feet.

No 1 is probably the hardest. I’ve dealt with bullies in authority in various past roles, there is simply only one real ongoing way to deal with them..it’s called emotional intelligence, this will beat them every time. Anger will overcome them over time but when you stay focused on EI (emotional intelligence) the bully will shoot themselves in the foot..every time.

Thank you for keeping this video up. It's been very helpful I'm dealing with stuff at work along with other coworkers that don't know what to do. Much appreciated God bless you!!

Wow I need to talk to this guy in person he's very smart

Excellent advice!

Hey folks, if you have this problem,you gotta read a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook. Can't recommend it highly enough.

Thank you. I am in need of this advice right now.

I had a very good, knowledgeable boss. He was hard but fair. You came to work, did your job, he was happy. A few years later, he was pushed out and we didn’t get to say goodbye to him. From then, we had an array of crappy bosses and morale went downhill. The lying and cheating employees got promoted whilst the good, honest workers got screwed. A few more years later, I saw my ex good boss working in a coffee shop (he owned the business). He couldn’t find work in his old industry again, poor guy.

gathering information is difficult sometimes, my boss did the bullying when no one is there or in the presence of people who he knows would not tell on him...

I was just let go from my job in the guise of a budget cut but the bully boss' entourage still survived. From the past 8 months, scope was not clear on work and a threat of merger/acuquisition was used an excuse to restrict funding for simple materials (laminated posters, markers) to kaizen workshops. Interestingly enough, after denying me simple reusable material (~$300) management spent $500 on booze and happy hour dinners which is crazy. What's the point of happy hour when a boss can not support his/her staff ? So 3 months go by, and out of the blue accusation come at my face of not meeting performance goals . All this time I met goals everyone was happy and did all the leg work for major deliverables and was let go for exceeding budget even after getting approval from my boss. Bosses who just hire and not support their staff is like feeding your staff to the wolves. As a boss, f you don't like someone don't hire them if you feel threatened by a candidate's intelligence and fabricate stories to fire your hardest working staff later.

Excellent advice. Until this becomes criminalized these games companies play will continue. Most hr depts are just there to cover up like and protect the clowns at the top

HR.... IS SNEAKY ...RECORD THEM WITH YOUR CELL ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT GIVE YOU A COPY WITH SIGNATUREVOF STATEMENT OF BEING HARRASED

Thank you so very much for your video. I intend to check out your blogsite for further help. I work in an industry prone to bullies and am now entering my second bully. I really appreciate your advice and will take much of it on board, although the country I live in is a bit different to the USA. From my experience with the first bully, I have some further advice that you didn't mention here. 1. NEVER fall victim to the bully trying to isolate you. They do what they do behind closed doors (mostly) and brainwash you into feeling you are the problem, not them. Expose them, first to trusted colleagues, then, when you feel more confident, just talk about their bullying in conversation. I'm not talking about bad-mouthing them, just repeating to people what went on behind the closed doors. You'll be surprised how much support you get and it stops you falling victim to going into isolation. 2. DO keep a record - bullies rely on drip-feeding small things that wouldn't sound so bad when described, but it is the repetition that is the bullying, not each isolated incident. Build up a case so strong that re-reading it empowers you. 3. Take advantage of the company's employee assistance programme, if you have one. Some companies will use the fact that you didn't take what was offered to you as their defence. Even if you have no expectations, use it. 4. When you do Alan's advice and go public, include in your letter an important question to HR "Please give me any information about previous complaints about (bully) of a similar nature to mine, or any other information that may relate to this issue" (the last bit is important). If the company would prefer to see you go, rather than expose their previous inactions in relation to previous complaints. This question will make the bully their biggest problem, not you. 5. This sounds a bit screwy, but you've got nothing to lose. In your mind, and later when you open up to conversation, refer to them as "My Bully". You won't believe how empowering it is. I'm currently annoyed I'm facing all this again, but that's life. Some days, you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you! 6. ALWAYS REMEMBER at the root of bullying is some form of jealousy. There is something (or several things) about you that the bully is insanely jealous of. Maybe you're a friendly person, or good at your job or enjoy the kind of respect that they can only pretend they have. In this macabre way, Bullying is a compliment. Tell yourself that every day. 7. Read Rudyard Kipling's poem "IF" - it got me through my first bully and he left the company. I'd really like Alan's comments to these suggestions and apologies if what worked for me may not work for everyone. Good Luck

Thanks for the advice. I have had several bully bosses in the past. You are right to get targets to keep a log of their behaviour. I kept a log and I had the supervisor of my boss, say why I kept a log! In the end the bully boss got done because she bullied a manager's daughter.. at the same organisation. Serial bullies get their come uppance. When my other bully boss started abusing me, I kept my log...with the police, they were very happy to help. Just coming back from the police station gave me some power. I did tell one colleague and she must have told my bully that I went to the police station, and she never bullied me again..... after all, she would be deported back to S Africa from the UK, with a conviction! Knowing that the boss is foreign and has to keep a squeaky clean VISA record also helps. I can spot them a mile off...when people say they are nice. If you can avoid being alone with them.

thanks for your wisdom! that’s is the best video about the topic. Thanks!

I hope there is an agency that can find out about the bully boss who threatens and yells at employees without any reasons.

Thanks for making this video!

The only way to deal with an in-house bully is come into work in a non conformed mood. Do the bare minimum, protest when asked to do a task. Be contriversal with other work colleagues and the bully and cronies will often leave you alone. However the ostracising starts. When I was bullied at work, I printed off lots of literature on dealing with the bully and choose to simply leave and go self employed. Towards the end of my employ, their was a lot of silence and inner conflict amongst most staff. Towards the end, I refused to acknowledge staff and customers and was rude to them. The bullying culture was rampent and I wanted to hurt the company by affecting their profits.

I can’t speak in office meetings (among 10-20 peoples) when my boss yelling I started fumbling and speechless,plz help

Very helpful. Appreciate it.

Remember also, that sometimes narcissitic bosses leave on their own accord, once they have had enough/bored with working for one company and 'want another challenge'. My boss moved to Tenby in Wales, I was so pleased he was going to leave, I couldn't believe it. When I check out the hotel he went to, I saw reviews of his hotel and some customers spotted staff bullying staff in front of them.. bet that was him. He has one side to his family and another side to his colleagues and friends. I don't know why he treated us like dirt. Even our first staff meeting with him wasn't very pleasant. One Eastern European woman stood up to him.. and she left.. so it is hard to stand up to him. I used to feel nervous most days going to work.... and it was worse after I was on holiday and staff would be gossiping about me.

Awesome!!! Thank you.

I had an Iranian boss...he hated me! Bully did not even cover his bullying. He actually called me an idiot in front of customers! Trust me....I called him out in front God and everyone! Lol. Really loud! But several monthes later I got fired on a bogus charge. Lol what a bloke! arse face! Best thing that ever happened to me! Love it!

Build your reputation at work as someone who is reliable, has integrity, works hard and gets along with others. It won't take long before you get to know a few folks in a position of power. Figure out who among them who you trust the most to protect your privacy and go to them about the bully boss. That's what I did and the bully boss was removed from their position and given a new position with nobody underneath them. That bully boss then left a few months later (likely because they didn't have anyone to pick on, thus making them feel impotent). I'm fortunate in that the company I work for is pretty good about not tolerating improper behavior. Before doing this, think long and hard about who you approach and the potential for blowback. Sometimes your best bet is to leave the company or wait it out (bosses tend to rotate out of positions quite frequently, with bully bosses even more so).

Thank you. #3 and5 hit home

Wish I had seen this 20 years ago .

Thank you

Dear Alan. Thank you for making this wonderful video. I am a woman and so is my boss, she is younger though. She has started interfering in my work, when I am talking with a visitor at our school, her one ear is always at my end, she always interfere and degrade my advise by telling the visitor, you can also do it that way, which is opposite of what I Just said. I feel embarrassed, I have started feeling incompetent and I feel very sad, which crushes my work moral, my happiness. When I am home, I am fighting with her in my thoughts, I fight with her in my head when I have gone to bed. I don't know what to do. I can tell you, that this started happening nearly two months ago before she went to sick leave and when she came back. Now our big male boss has announced that our female bitch boss does't want to be a boss anymore. So I don't understand what's happening in her head. Has she become jealous of me, have I become a threat to her. Or is she trying to prove her worth which she has missed by saying that she can't take the assignments anymore because she feels stressed. Please advice. Best regards. Pam

I think the bully boss is a person that had big shoes to fill the former person in charge...with this add a carapace forged over to end everydays shift with a production oriented over what a fellow employee feel...one more is the language barrier too

Not sure this would work, but I think you're on my side

I had a bully boss. Two of my co-workers also realized the "Big A" (as we referred to him) was a bully and we discussed possible ways to deal with the Big A. Regarding step 2 - do not engage with the bully boss, one of my co-workers came up with "Miranda" - you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you by the Big A. A poker face also came in handy. Bullies get their jollies from getting a reaction from you.

exactly what I'm dealing with, a lazy, bully boss and micromanager. I love my job, but I'm to the point of considering putting my two weeks notice in, I just can't stand working with her anymore. I'm walking on eggshells the entire shift when I have to work with her. I don't feel like a grown woman at work doing my job, I feel like a child being punished and I hate that. she's so unbelievably ridiculous, I'll give you some examples, she spilled gravy while cooking and told me to come on the cooks line and wipe it up off the floor by hand and wipe it off counter space so "it wouldn't get on her new shirt". I'm not even supposed to be on the cooks line. I make $5.03 an hr and sometimes I have to cook my customers food because she's outside smoking while on Facebook. she told me one night to do dishes left from five girls from 2nd shift. there were 6 bins that were OVERFLOWING we didn't have a dishwasher, at this point I had been doing EVERYTHING plus dishes and I was fed up, told her no. its not fair, she refused to let me use the bathroom or have a 5 minute smoke break for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT. I was literally about to pee myself all while she spent that 6 hours outside on her phone on Facebook and Snapchat. she's manager, she's supposed to do freezer pull then put everything away- she doesn't...she makes me do it BUT she prints the day dots out with her name on them and puts them on everything that was pulled from the freezer. her drunk friends come in. make a mess like pigs, don't tip me and she doesn't charge them. a customer will ask me for butter on the side, shell ask me why I'm putting butter on the side. a customer will request extra syrup for a to go order and shell take the extra out of the bag and ask why I'm giving extra syrup. along with many many other things she does, says and makes me do that SHE'S supposed to do. when the cook gets off, and she has to step up and cook she gets pissy with me like its my fault then she REALLY starts knitpicking at me and it really puts me on edge and I have to explain EVERY move I make and EVERYTHING I do. she does NOT like to work, she's 22 years old. she likes to smoke, drink, have sex, be on Facebook snapchat, sleeeeep and eat. work, hell no. don't get me wrong I don't mind team work, I have no problems stepping up and helping. but there's a difference between helping out and taken advantage. man I make $5.03 an hour and I don't just wait tables anymore, I cook and do dishes along with wait tables for $5.03an hour, I'm surprised she doesn't make me take the trash out too. I don't know what to do. I love my job, I'm good at it. I don't have these issues with my other manager. I don't wanna walk away, I've acquired so many regulars butt I'm ready to give up :( what do I do???

Sir, This seems like an Excellent and Stellar Video about how to handle and deal with Bully Bosses. I wish that I came across this Video at the time when I needed it. My question is; Can I still take action against my former Employer for harboring and enabling numerous Bully Bosses and lots of Bullying???

you call it like it is, I always said that my supervisor was an anima l and I don't know what kind but you have the right terminology "Beast"

OK I have a question about the video my boss said I had to I have no choice but I have to work every day at work no time off and I Hurd that was illegal

I quit my job today. I can't tell what was wrong with my boss, he told his superiors that I was skilled, trustworthy, and punctual. Then in time to time out of nowhere the boss threw shit on me and the working group like if it was always our shift that left the place unclean. Tuesday, I straghten up our storage hall with a group of new blokes. I was the only one who knew how to do it. Tough work. What did I get from my bully boss? A shitstorm to my neck that I didn't do anything at all in storage room. I shouted back at him, that I had quit the shitty job already. Well, the job was alright, artistic woodworks, painting, and stuff like that. It was the bully boss that sucked.

The part about having someone else type and mail the letter cracked me up! 🤣

Thanks alot for this video

I wish i had know about your help and tips with the last boss i had that really resembled lucifer in the hateful, manic, demeaning, threatening and obnoxious behaviour he displayed towards me each and every time he made a point to call me into the ofc to rake me over the coals. He got away with being a devil to many employees of which i was an older worker he had decided we all needed to go for younger blood. There was NOBODY who would do anything not even human rescourced....that was a joke so i have secretly hoped karma bit him in the butt after he ran ne off. I was sick, stressed and felt unwell to continue putting up with his bs every day. Thank you for great insight.

I suggest applying a Brazilian Ju Jitsu choke in your bully boss, so he will respect you and will also ask in which academy you train, so he can enroll in it

In all honesty there needs to be Workplace reform immediately!

I made lots if notes and was ready to present my case. The director looked at it and said lets move on and assigned me to another group

thanks for the video

how about small businesses with office of 3 people!

Awesome 👏👍

Take care!

This doesn’t apply to a 1099 truck driver though. I drive their truck and use their equipment but there was no application process. I’ve always had an application process with other 1099 trucking driving positions. Any tips?

Would any of this apply to a Postmaster and sub contractor situation. My Postmaster threatens me with termination of my job, that stress causes me to make more mistakes.

Retaliation is always the fear of many employees and usually those people who are bullied are the new ones which are afraid to speak up because theyre under in observation period meaning they are not yet on permanent status and can easily be fired in a snap of a finger.

One of my bully bosses mysteriously left the workplace one day. Turns out he stole £1000 of the hotel's money in the UK. Some narc bosses are hypocrites.

What about feeling inadequate as well as the other things you said? What about a hostile work environment?

For 8 years I've been bullied and Cyber Stalked and she has downloaded my personal data and passwords from my phone which I have changed so many times. All of my accounts have been compermised and I heard her talking to others in the office so I know she has hacked me when I'm home. She is afraid I will get an Attorney, which I want one. I want her punished not the agency.

Scenario: this store manager confronted me but before he just wanted to talk to me about my schedule! " You're not in trouble" but She's a union Steward but you're not in trouble. You request a lot of weekends off and pick your availability it's perceived as me dictating my schedule!!? I said"I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to request a limit amount and put my hired in availability? He says:"you haven't done anything wrong it's just you're full time and unless you have been here like the old timers. We can't let you have every weekend off ! " I didn't say Much but I felt like this was a passive aggressive way that Thjs manager wants me to know he is in charge and he has the control to deny approve and choose.my availability since I'm a full time worker for this retail company. M! I did Feel Insulted and unappreciated. I was very emotionally bothered by this statement he made. What should I do ??