I’m sixty years old until I was fifty eight I was in complete denial that I was a transgender woman. My mind created all sorts of creative ways to ignore this truth. Now that I have finally accepted the truth of who I am when I look back at my life it’s so obvious I’m trans. Some of my earliest memories when I was only five or six years old were of wishing or pretending to be a girl.

Up until I was 64 (2 years ago), I always was in denial that I was transgender. I always considered my self as a crossdresser even though I had thoughts of being female as far back as 4 years old. I went through different ways of denying the truth, doing very 'masculine' things like muscle cars, fast motorcycles, scuba diving, and even home construction. Anything to block out and deny who I am. The pandemic lockdowns provided me an opportunity to listen to myself as I worked remotely. I finally was not able to deny myself any longer. I entered into therapy and around the 3rd, maybe 4th session, my therapist said to me truly feel as a therapist that you should have been born a girl". The light went on! I asked "Are you saying I'm transgender?" She agreed and it was if a huge weight had been lifted from me! I finally knew who I am, have started HRT (14 months now), haven't looked back, and have realized this was the best decision I ever made! Thanks Dr. Z for another inspiring video! 💖💖

As always, your video is right on time! I'm nearly a year into my transition and up until about a week ago I was 100% confident even though all my family and stuff cut me off. I've been on hormones, I'm growing breasts and everything. It wasn't until the last week or two I started getting scared that maybe I was just dumb and rash. I currently live in a very not-accepting state so even going to the grocery store is stressful. I'm nearly 50 though and I didn't make this decision lightly. What I came to realize in the last few days is that the majority of my fear is me. I know 100% that I am "clockable" no matter how hard I try so I just always think people are thinking the absolute worst and judging me. However, with literally EVERYTHING I've faced on my journey I always come back to the same thing and this has been my soul-saver: If I didn't have to worry about what ANYONE else thinks, how would I live happily? THIS is my TRUE north. I don't care what body I was born in biologically. I AM a woman. I am HAPPY living that way if I remove all the exterior obstacles. So, now, whenever I start questioning everything I remind myself that I'm not doing any of this for anyone else. I'm an extremely giving person but THIS....THIS is for ME! Sorry for going long but I just want to say one more thing...every moment...every day we are alive is a privilege. Over 30,000 people died in the recent earthquake in Turkey and Syria. THIRTY THOUSAND individual beautiful human beings like me and you! 🥺 Yet, I am still here for whatever reason. As long as I have breath, it is my amazing privilege and opportunity to be happy in my own skin - as it is everyone's. I'm preaching to myself right now but don't waste your life not being who you actually are no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

applying the scientific method to exploring your gender identity is actually a great way to approach it. I work in the scientific field myself, and am currently heavily questioning my gender identity. It helps enormously to understand that I can't 'know' what gender I am because there's not enough datapoints to confirm nor reject my 'hypothesis'. Thank you for your videos, they have been of much help the past few weeks.

I really resonated with the comparison of doing an experiment. I used to struggle to pinpoint whether I was trans or not, because I didn't have any classic childhood-experience indicators and of the spreading narrative that young "girls" were being "influenced by social media". The answer I came up with at the time was to keep a notebook and record recurring patterns in my understanding of my gender and intensity of dysphoria. Whenever I doubt myself (or someone in my life expresses doubt) that I'm trans, I have the data and I've done the analysis. If I need more data, I can always collect it. I take a bit of pride in my "gender science" :)

The mind generates fear, and that's a hurdle that has to be overcome to progress often. I don't know if it's directly comparable, but I once had social anxiety - and this has nothing to do with my transition, and was way before I started experimenting to determine that I am trans - but I wanted to learn to fly. Learning to fly sounds scary, right? And it is. The scariest part for me happened before I even visited the airport for the first time. I had to complete a half-hour journey in a car; I knew where to go. I felt physically sick at the prospect, and I believe I even vomited slightly. I pushed through it. Nothing after that, not learning to land the aircraft, not even transition, ever came close. I believe my mind was trying to protect me from the unknown since it knew that it was less risky for me if I did not learn to fly, and this happened again later in life when I began transitioning. In both cases, pushing through the fear has made me happier and made me grow as a person.

I'm 68. I never found the answer, but I don't care anymore. Most of my personality traits are considered feminine; I have always been called feminine; I like being feminine, and I have always wanted to be female. Isn't that enough? No one has ever called me a "real man". I live and present as a woman, so what ever I am is close enough. Even though I have always wished I was a girl, I never really considered my experience to be dysphoria. I'm just me, and over the years, I gradually realized I'm much more of a woman than a man.

I'm early in transition. I have so many questions and the answers keep lining up to as pattern as described. At middle age it is easy to question yourself when so much of your life experience has been in denial. Do I trust what works for everyone else and continue to be unhappy that it doesn't work for me? Why? If everyone else gets to be happy, doing what makes them happy, why can't I be happy doing what makes me happy? Even as I worry about how it will change my future, I already see improvements in my life. Improvements that would have made my early years so much happier. Why trust what works for others when I have my own results?

I feel this point really applies to me. I think I am trans. A knot in my stomach loosens when I think of myself as a women (I have a male body) And my approach over several years now, since my trans epiphany at the age of 29(!), has all along been exploring this question in my mind. Trying to feel into it. Reading about it. Exploring my internal blocks. And at the same time just living my life totally disconnected from this question, waiting for myself to first resolve this in my mind. But I know I cant. I think I have known for many years. But thanks for reminding me of this simple, but difficult fact. That I have to test it out, not just let my mind ruminate. Im scared of letting go. But hearing what needs to be done is a good thing! :)

This is a REALLY good one for me. I spent so much of my life… daydreaming about getting to be… And in later years, I even thought “well of course I want to be a… But I’m not trans”. It doesn’t help that it’s hard for me to accept that not everyone feels like me. After I quit repressing, I spent a full year debating whether to start e, partially for health concerns, mostly because of how evil society is, and how scared I am. Even while repressing, I would daydream about it, and was too scared to do anything about it, plus I didn’t understand about hormones, I didn’t really think there’s anything I COULD do. Plus, I’ve been absolutely horrified, my entire life by the “M type person in a dress” thing. I still worry about whether I actually AM a ****, or just want to be. I’m not 1000% sure I believe that wanting to be means that I actually am. It’s gross to think that I’m the other thing though. If nothing else, e has almost entirely eliminated my frequent headaches. I was NOT expecting that. I can’t remember anyone talking about headaches going away. But I used to have headaches at least multiple times a week, if not daily, and on day two of taking e, they went away almost entirely. If all I end up accomplishing is this being a headache remedy, that might be worth it 😂 I really wish I could just be cis. I mean there’s other things I would wish for first, like ending fascism, homelessness, giving everyone all the healthcare and food, they need, etc., but I really wish I could just have my body and especially my face be…okay. 😕

TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY ON T & I FREAKED OUT SO BAD & CRIED WHEN I DID IT BUT AAAAAH I'M SO EXCITED. 🥳 Okay, time to carry on & watch the video, lol

My dad's a scientist and I learned the principles of inquiry from him at a young age. I instinctively take a skeptical scientific approach to figuring out problems, withholding judgement until I can see a pattern. I have a lot of food allergies, so I have to keep alert and notice what I've eaten when and what sorts of subtle effects I've experienced, to try to figure out what foods have caused what problems. So it's very sensible to me to apply these principles to the mind and experience as well.

Not struggling with mind as much but more the realization of I don’t know if I enjoy sex. I can’t ever remember a time where I was happy or elated afterwards. The feel of orgasms, the lack of multiples, ect. It hit me in the gut this morning and sent me for a ride

Thank you Dr Z for that SUPER AFIRMING MSG!! You know how we are. We can question and requestion our selves, it appears that is how i got into that pattern of purging and on and on!!

The person I trust the least is myself as every time I've been fooled it was finally by myself.

So on point, as usual Dr.Z Love your necklace BTW!!! ❤

You are so right that's what I'm going through my mind is telling me.

Of all your talks Dr.Z this one might be the most affecting for me. Thank you so much 💖 x

What an absolute fantastic video! Dr. Z, once again, you have hit the nail on the head as this very topic was one I was talking with my therapist about earlier this week. How are you? Broke it down really, really makes it easier to remove the emotions and deal with facts based on results of the data points that are forthcoming. Thank you once again for the time and effort you put into these videos, I can only imagine the number of people that are equally thankful for all you do.

Thank you so much this is the exact question i needed answered

Profound, ty

My patterns add up!! Purge, redo, purge, redo, purge, redo!! Ad infinitum!!

as time goes on my desire to transtion is not so urgent i feel a sense a fun crossdressing i know i will never stop i look foward to hearing what you have to say thank you dr z luv chloe anne

Based on my personal experience, I think the distrust comes from stigma and internalized transphobia. Society wants you to be straight and cis, and inundates you with the message that being trans is a choice, and that too many people turning out to be trans is a bad thing. There have even been some in the psychological field who assume that gender patients are inherently untrustworthy, which only feeds into the same narrative. It gets worse if you have an intersecting status like disability or chronic illness, as you are often told to grin and bear it and stop complaining, which teaches you to distrust yourself and ignore what your mind and body are telling you. When it comes to any kind of medical condition though, it's up to the patient to recognize the issue and come forward seeking help. Whether it's physical or mental, you cannot sit around waiting for someone to diagnose a problem for you. A doctor isn't going to show up at your door and tell you something is amiss. You have to go to the doctor yourself. Therefore the only way to tell if you have gender dysphoria is if you first recognize signs of it on your own, and it's up to you to seek professional help. Gender identity is an inherent immutable trait just like sexual orientation. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with you if it turns out you're trans. We're still living in a time when we're finding out how many trans people there really are, and it's likely more than people once assumed.

#Suggestion *Can you make a video about how gender dysphoria is connected with EGO systonic/dystonic behaviour or feelings?* 😊 i will be waiting for this, i am sure ego systonic/dystonic behaviour can help a lot of gender dysphoric invidviduals to understand themselves

One thing I know for certain is I don't feel like a man. I can't do the gender role, It feels foreign to me.

I know I’m trans because I want a vaginalplasty which I will never get but I know no matter what I do I always go back to a woman because it’s at my core my estrogen was 9 times higher. I lived the dream in nyc. I am so so proud of the things I’ve accomplished I will never go back to male ew gross. I’m so thankful for your videos.

I love your necklace!!!!

Your presentation and confidence is amazing. If you SEO your KZfaq channel and do a little marketing, I think your popularity and recognition will spread worldwide.

Yes yes yes!!!!

I always find these videos so synchronistic! I have been laboring over this question so much lately. But one other thing that haunts me is that it still feels illegitimate. I delve into a lot of spirituality and I wonder if this is a kind of "attachment" in a Buddhist or Hindu sense. I also carry a lot of Christian ideas from the past and I feel like it is a kind of envy or desire and those are treated as very suspect. It's not even so much the guilt as the idea that "The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Is it legitimate to want to change my gender or is it a kind of greed?

I agree with you 100% And when you say look back over your live, all applies. Now I have been diagnosed by 2 professionals as having gender dysphoria. So no debate. But I made it to 61. So I am trying to make it the rest of the way without her taking over. But we are at war for sure.

100 %

When I was 10 I knew this wasn't right the changes in life that make a man thrusted on me that was 1970 in 1974 I had an outing with my parents my mom is got my stash place for my clothes she had blamed herself for it and I knew it had nothing to do with her there was no one there to help my transition so I put on a skirt tight talk and run away from home it didn't work out so well two guys in a car hit me over the head and threw me in a cage they raped me compete until I escaped I went home I tried to tell somebody but nobody seemed to care years go by my brother is gay and he wanted to get it keep a job but he kept getting fired everywhere 1977 the picture you see is me just before the Democratic party says they wouldn't help us they had other things to do for my friends committed suicide I went onto the army thinking maybe I could get killed in the battle that didn't happen nobody could really keep a job being gay or trans my brother he got AIDS he died I met somebody and we made babies 5 you're at yet I felt not right in my body sex was wrong 3 years ago Donald Trump came into power and push the gay rights in through the Supreme Court we had a right to keep a job discriminated against started my transition at first it was hard. But now I am the happiest I've ever been in my life I got boobs LOL

My mind is always saying such hurtful and transphobic things to me and I literally go crazy sometimes and just laying in bed wallowing over them

So, having established my gender identity, but unable to transition just yet, how do I deal with the doubts? As an AMAB, one of the ways is to ask myself: "Do I want to be/live my life as a man?" For me, the answer has always been a definite NO. So, I may not always be 100% sure that I want to go through a transition to live my life as a woman. But I am always certain that I don't want to be a man. I hope that going through the transition will confirm the results of my thought experiment

If they outlaw hrt & gender surgery's what can we do?

Much better jewelry !

Greetings! Honestly, this video is incredible! I was wondering if I can help you to edit your videos and create some highly engaging visuals and shorts out of them. Here also I did a whole case study on your social media pages and you would be surprised with the scope of improvement that I found in your content. I got some serious inputs for you and I would love to share them ASAP. I am excited to read your positive response. Thanks

So with all our technology there is no way to compare a female brain vs male brain like size or development under MRI or anything like this? Also where I live there are two places that help with rewiring the brain to help with cognition and memory and depression and anxiety?

Wasabi, Japanese mustard, not for delicate people lol,

Hi there. I have just come to the conclusion after suffering gender dysphoria that I am a male woman. I am a woman because that is the word that best defines my personality type. Why should I change just because society has dictated that the woman personality is strictly related to being female or looking like one. I think it's really sad that what is basically transsexuality has been misnamed and become mainstream just because women who are born male feel they need to fit into a society that is corrupt and has it's priorities all wrong. We're not the ones who need to transition, it's society that needs to transition, and stop turning vulnerable males with beautiful gentle feminine spirits into freakish medical experiments. Sorry if that sounds transphobic, but I'm not afraid of trans people, I feel sorry for them that they have been sold a lie that they will feel better once they have mutilated themselves so they can fit into a construct that isn't even real. The only truth is biological sex and masculine and feminine spirit. And as far as I am aware, most males are feminine spirits and most females are masculine spirits. Go bloody figure. It's time we got back to loving ourselves and each other as we are and as we were born, and stop trying to conform to a society that is never going to accept us anyway and end up living a life where you're constantly pushing shit up hill. Thanks for the channel!