Q&A: Can't Transition, Gender Pressure, Dysphoria Fluctuates, No Childhood Onset, Dysphoria & Age.

Рет қаралды 5,897

Күн бұрын

Monday Q&A answering your direct questions.
👉ONLINE COURSES FROM DR Z: drzconsultingllc.podia.com/
👉BUY MY BEST SELLING BOOK ON AMAZON!: tinyurl.com/3j9nczy3
🔥SCHEDULE ONLINE SESSION WITH ME:drzphd.com/gendertherapy
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Intro
03:20 Can't Transition
10:34 Gender Pressure
17:10 Dysphoria fluctuates
20:04 No childhood onset
25:04 Dysphoria as you age
31:49 Stopping HRT
Give this video a thumbs up if it's helped you 👍
#gender #genderdysphoria #transgender #nonbinary #genderidentity #gendertransition
👉NOTE: I work solely with adults and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based from experience working with adults only.
🙋‍♀️Hello! My name is Natalia Zhikhareva known as Dr Z in transgender community and I am a clinical psychologist or gender therapist, specializing in transgender field and I work with adults only. I provide online therapy for California, New York, Texas and Florida residents. My pronouns are she/her and you can visit my website for more info at drzphd.com/aboutdrz
👍VERY HELPFUL Trans/Gender resources: drzphd.com/resources
😍TRANS MASCULINE BLOG: drzphd.com/trans-masculine-blog
🤩TRANS FEMININE BLOG: drzphd.com/trans-feminine-blog-1
🤗NON BINARY BLOG: drzphd.com/non-binary-blog
🙌VISIT: drzphd.com
😀DISCLAIMER: Note as a clinical psychologist I created this channel to share information. Therefore I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information, and not to provide medical advice and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information, understanding, and to gain awareness.

Пікірлер: 92

@synsvids 5 ай бұрын

I watched one of your videos and started crying because I realized I may be trans. My mom asked me what was wrong, and after ruling out cyberbullying n stuff, she guessed "is it the trans thing?" and after talking a bit more, she said she'll always be proud of me. Thank you for that.

@Gorlcaptain 2 ай бұрын

I am so proud of you, stranger. Wishing you the best. ❤ the hardest step is the first one. You have your mom with you and that is beautiful gift.

@marti7343 5 ай бұрын

One way to better understand if gender pressure is affecting you is to be with yourself. When I am alone it is clear to me I am a trans woman. When I am around other people I sometimes hesitate to express my true identity. Especially with people I have known before starting my transition. Sometimes I feel it is just not worth the trouble to come out to some people. With some secondary and tertiary relationships my interactions are not frequent enough to bother with trying to figure out what other people think. I know many trans people say I should not be concerned with what other people think. Certainly, the most important thing is how you see and feel about yourself. But, I believe part of who we are is how the world sees us. In some ways that is how we learn who were are. In fact, when people see me as the woman I feel I am, it helps alleviate my dysphoria and affirms me. Not everyone I interact can do that for whatever reason. I expect and hope as my transition continues I will not focus so much on my gender and just blend in. It would be nice if many of the things I think about now become non issues. That may be too much too ask. In the end, it is the moments I am alone that I identify most easily with my authentic gender and feel most myself, even though it is inconsistent with my birth sex.

@mx.lucyfur 5 ай бұрын

To the woman struggling with the fear of transitioning due to age - I'm there with you and I'm older. I'm about to apply my first HRT patch tonight. Yes, it's scary, but remember that you can take it a little bit at a time. Transition is a "glacial process" and changes won't happen overnight. Likewise, age-related complications that you fear won't happen overnight. You can try something out and see how it feels. Coordinate with your care provider, make sure your health is monitored. Take small steps and remember that, just short of waking up from surgery, you can always decide to back off if it's too much or feels too risky. Progress by baby steps is still progress, even if you sometimes take a couple steps back. I'm also realizing that transition isn't just one giant leap of faith and that's it. It's more like a series of small but significant leaps of faith as you explore and see what feels good enough that you're willing to stay with that step and look toward the next. I see you, girl. You got this. ♥

@andreeswenson5099 5 ай бұрын

I transitioned 2 years ago, aged 61. I suspect I processed a lot during my denial and, for me, it's less about being a woman and more about being whole. Denial took a lot of mental energy and was quite toxic

@philippajoy4300 5 ай бұрын

Natalia you are absolutely superb, my therapist speaks so highly of you, obviously you would not do KZfaq forever, I'm just glad I was around for some of it as a live listener. I'd like to thank you for all of your superb content which remains an invaluable resource for me, your book which is helpfully challenging. You have brought to a necessarily mixed platform, material which is redolent with experience, communication craft and professionalism. I wish you all the very best for the future. Philippa Xxxx

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Trully appreciate this!

@jamesdavis5866 5 ай бұрын

Thanks you drz, for all your kindness and generosity over the years. Lots of luck in the future.

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

So nice of you and thank you!

@Petalouda357 5 ай бұрын

⁠@@DRZPHDI am incredibly grateful for everything you do. May God bless you, and thank you for all your videos. I’ve been struggling with gender dysphoria since childhood and now, in my 40s, I’m still coping. My partner and environment restrict my ability to fully express myself, but your videos provide me with much-needed comfort. Wishing you the best in your new endeavors ❤❤❤

@mx.lucyfur 5 ай бұрын

Regarding not being able to take various steps in transition due to limitations - one thing I did when I originally denied myself to consider those was to ask how I would live my life differently if I did transition. Would I be more social? Would I allow myself to enjoy the arts more? So on and so forth. Then I started to ask myself what's stopping me from doing those things regardless of whether I transition? I could still learn to be more social. I could still make time to go to museums more. What things from my ideal life could I bring into my present life regardless of transitional steps? Another possibility is allowing yourself to grieve the things that you will not be able to do due to limitations. To know you couldn't do HRT due to medical challenges would be a huge blow and understandably carry with it a sense of grief and loss. Allowing yourself, and even getting help, to grieve and process that loss may be important.

@user-vz3hp4he3f 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for all you have done, and everything you continue to do for our community. I know i haven't watched every video yet, and your book, despite only being at chapter 2 has already helped me. As I sat with a cup of tea this morning, I twirled the tag and found the following message just waiting for me. "Personal growth lies within the unknown; courage permits you to explore this space". So for everyone.. here's to a better and courageous new year!!

@GabbieAbbie 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for all that you have done ❤ I will never forget what you have done for us all!!! Daaaahling!!! 🫂

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@CatrinaDaimonLee 5 ай бұрын

When you find new inspiration do drop by youtube - I just discoverd your channel! it is a loss of a comforting voice of truth in these troubled times for us trans and nonbinary people! GRATITUDE TO YOU, INFINITE! MUCH LOVE DR NATALIA, from catrina

@user-ix7eb5ql3l 5 ай бұрын

I am so sorry to hear you are leaving us Dr. Z. You have been a good companion for me during a troubling, challenging tme. I will continue my journey as I know you will as well. I wish you joy and continued success in all your endeavors. You have been a blessing to so many.

@Shalanaya 5 ай бұрын

I know that we can live without transition and I've tried it for a long time only to realize that what transition did was to help me ground myself into this world and body, meaning that a lot of decisions and choices I made after transition were reflecting the lust for life to experience more of who I am in relation to the outside world. I've realized that it is hormonal/physical very much, as my body is a way how to communicate with the world, and determined whether I wanted to meet/hug,kiss or have sex with someone.

@chas4life 5 ай бұрын

Dr. Z, thank you SO MUCH for all of the knowledge and perspectives you have shared on this channel. It will certainly continue to be a great resource to all with questions, as it has been a tremendous resource for myself as I have been exploring my own identity through traditional therapy. Best wishes and sincere gratitude! 🙏

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Thank you and I wish you all the best as well!

@420_Blushed 5 ай бұрын

You done more than anybody could expect. Thank you for helping me understand myself.❤️ 🙏🏼

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

Hi sister) my name is Zeynep and my age is 14 and I'm started to hormones on 2023 11 October. And on 15 December I had to stop taking the hormone and didn't take estrogen for 2 weeks. I turned completely into a man) Then I went through menopause and then I continued taking estrogen again. Will my breasts grow back healthy and problem-free? When will my skin be bright and shiny again? When I took hormones, it worked quickly for me because I am 14 years old. Please help me and my facial contour is terrible because I'm not taking estrogen. Will it get better in the future? I will be doing a hormone update in March, I hope everything will be okay💓

@helenlegallais4208 5 ай бұрын

Sorry to see you go dr z I would like to give you an update on my transition, I am having my gender affirming operation on the 3rd January 2024 and I am over the moon about it and I can’t wait to finally have the final piece of my jigsaw fitted in place thanks for your videos they were very helpful for me at the beginning of my transition so thank you very much have a great Christmas and a happy new year love from Helen ❤

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@zongo_le_dozo3338 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for all the work you've done on KZfaq, I think that you've covered a huge ground that has been useful to many people and will be useful to many more

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@tripleabattery2914 5 ай бұрын

What a perfect send off! Nearly all of the questions are things that I'm struggling with at the moment now that i have more or less accepted that I'm trans. I wish the very best on your future endeavors🫶🏾

@asafry2873 5 ай бұрын

What you say makes sense, I think your library is complete and it is very helpful. Thank you.

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Glad you think so and I appreciate supporting me moving on to something new.

@Christine_Robyn 5 ай бұрын

Thank you Dr. Z. Watching your TY channel has been very helpful to me. I am sorry to see you leave, but you have left a very excellent archive of information that will continue to be there for others in the future. Once again a very sincere thanks.

@andreeswenson5099 5 ай бұрын

I strongly identified with the No childhood onset, and now feel a lot less alone. Looking back, there were signs, but I have few childhood memories. Thought the child psych was about my response to being teased, but now? Scarred me, my brain runs away during counselling. My desire for the gender diagnosis overcame that

@nikolasb5111 5 ай бұрын

Thank you, Dr Z. You're leaving a gold mine of information on KZfaq. Your videos has helped thousands. Thank you 🙏

@bradleyvanderwesthuizen4271 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for writing your amazing book and thank you for all your life saving content!!

@AngelicNTT 4 ай бұрын

You have provide valuable info over the years and will be viewed by many more helping thousands of people. Wish you well in the future. You will be missed. All my love and thanks for the excellent advices you have provide ❤

@redmouseroxy3260 5 ай бұрын

Thanks so much for all the videos you have made, Dr. z. Especially coming from someone whose partner is currently in the middle of transitioning. Your "Partners of Trans People" series has been crucial in my understanding of my partners feelings, and my own. Thank you for sharing your professional knowledge of the subject!

@chameleonrena 4 ай бұрын

You have been a wealth of information and you book has helped me. Thank you and all the very best.

@coolrabi9534 5 ай бұрын

You have helped me so much. Thank you for everything! Your channel is a true gem!

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Appreciate you!

@matthewsnively9849 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for the wonderful collection of information over the years. We are forever indebted for the free guidance and support ❤. Wish you all the best in the future!

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@kendrajune6719 5 ай бұрын

Regarding early onset... I really did not have dysphoria or interest in "girl" things at a young age. However, in hindsight, I remember being fascinated in my early teen years, by body swap movies and stories. My interest was always, what would it be like to swap bodies with a girl and live as a girl for a while. I didn't recognize that as dysphoria but I think that is my earliest recollection that this has been with me most of my life. I also realize now that throughout my life, from tenn years to now, I always related more to female characters in the books i read and movies I watched. For example, I wanted to be Princess Lea, not Luke Skywalker! It wasn't until my late 20s that I started realizing I wanted to be a woman, or wished I was a woman. However, I did not act on it. Fast forward 25 years and after marriage and raising two amazing kids, the dysphoria returned with a vengeance! I fully understand now that I AM transgender. I am working with therapist and psychiatrist to figure out my next steps at age 58. I want to thank you for your videos and wonderful advice. You have been very helpful to me as I (finally) embark on this journey.

@teadrinkerfication9160 5 ай бұрын

I was the one who asked that question 😊 and this pretty much mirrors my childhood experience but the other way around! As a teenager I was always wanting to be Luke and not Leia, and experiencing so many gender related thoughts that I now recognise as dysphoria but due to the time period (I survived on a diet of Friends and South Park) just put down to being gay. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who has experienced this! 🏳️‍⚧️

@teadrinkerfication9160 5 ай бұрын

Also congratulations on finding your true self!!!❤

@kendrajune6719 5 ай бұрын

Dang, I can't believe I spelled Leia's name wrong - and KZfaq won't let me edit it! 🤔 I'm so glad you responded. I think our stories are probably more common than we think. I look back now on do many things and realize how my gender dysphoria affected me and my relationships without me being aware of it. One more example is with a particular girlfriend whom I admired for how smart, confident and driven she was (stereotypically male traits) yet also how beautiful she was. I thought I loved her. But in reality, I wanted to BE her. If I had experienced these revelations 30 years ago, I can't imagine what my life would be like. I look forward to the future knowing my truth, and letting that be my guide.

@LarryPhischman 5 ай бұрын

"Anxious, ruminating, catastrophising mindset" was my middle name before HRT.

@merg-vh5sx 28 күн бұрын

Oh Larry.

@vanessaleblanc2583 5 ай бұрын

Dr,Z. As I’m sure you know, uncertainty can sometimes be scary proposition, if not a monster that works hand-in-hand with the emotions most of us find difficult to manage. I think your guidance over the many episodes you’ve gracefully shared with us has made it possible for many of us to grasp control and understanding of these emotions that get away from us. Your book is a must read and I can’t thank you enough for sharing that as well. (side note: If this resonates with anyone reading this, please read "On Your Terms" as it will give perspective to the many insecurities we all experience - Do this for you!) One last thing, Doc; It is my view that any phase-out is a necessary change for growth. Without it, most of us would never take the leap to a better life. I hope the sheer gratitude most of us express towards you highlights the amazing work you continue to do, the friends you’ve made and the lives you’ve touched. Never stop! Thank you for being an incredible human being and great ally. Your support means so much❤

@nz_anna 4 ай бұрын

Thank you Dr Z for all the effort you have put in. You are a life saver. Lots of love, and all the best for your next steps.

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@user-nd7rd8jo6h 2 ай бұрын

Will miss your new uploads but as you put it. This is a topic that at a point its very reputicious (as someone in a Gender dysphoria discord group i see that as well as new people come on board) so the decision to move to something else atleast for the time being makes sense. Thank you for being amazing ❤❤❤

@Tentatively_Rhian 4 ай бұрын

Thanks for all the content you've provided. Would you ever consider adding timestamps? For a lot of your videos, only a couple things are relevant to me and they can be quite long. I love it all, but I'm just feeling overwhelmed trying to digest so much so quickly. What you've done has been very helpful to me.

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@sequoia7128 3 ай бұрын

I found your channel too late but I’m glad for all your efforts!

@deedoherty4663 5 ай бұрын

Dr. Natalia, thank you, you have helped me probably more than even I know, thank you

@elijahbaley5556 5 ай бұрын

I've only been watching your videos for about a month, but the ones I've seen have been quite helpful. Thanks for all of your insight.

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Glad to help!

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@peterkostidakis1348 5 ай бұрын

Thank you very kindly ❤wish you all the best and success

@ocdbrain 5 ай бұрын

Thanks doc I really loved watching these vids. Go live ya life ❤

@ChristinaD1996 5 ай бұрын

Someone else needs to pick up this torch if Dr. Z isn't going to. There has to be someone else in KZfaq that wants to continue the trans content on into perpetuity and actually answer our questions on a periodic basis.

@newbeginning3568 Ай бұрын

Hi all, gosh i really need dr.z to talk too lol, things are tough for me mentally

@charlottegriffeth3082 4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much ❣️💯

@acornlocktinaice934 5 ай бұрын

Best of luck in your new endeavor

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Thank you.

@candycox3007 5 ай бұрын

Thank you@ you're awesome

@skywaveimages5054 5 ай бұрын

thank you 🙏🏼 your amazing

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@miamaxim7662 4 ай бұрын

13:5 "vessel of my soul"😍

@forestcat8966 4 ай бұрын

Dear Dr Z, I have just discovered your channel and am so grateful for all you have shared. I’m searching for more information about genderflux and how to understand how genderflux if different than genderqueer or nonbinary. Can you make a video on genderflux?

@mistwiz2351 5 ай бұрын

Hi dear Dr Z, Thanks for the content you made avaliable for transgender people. I feel particularly touched by your topic about transition limitations. Your words are very helpful.

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@mistwiz2351 3 ай бұрын

@@Powergirllls Hi, Sorry for you, unfortunately, I can't tell you much. I face health issues and estrogen seems to be a risk factor. Keep hope and confidence.

@Powergirllls 3 ай бұрын

@@mistwiz2351 but my boobs is gonna be growing like As before right?

@UrgeyifUreply 5 ай бұрын

I would like to see you create videos of you reacting to anti trans video clips. And you giving accurate information back in response (a la KZfaq shorts). Just a suggestion. I want to thank you regardless, for your positive contribution to educating not only trans people, but society in general via your content. I thank you personally for educating me throughout my transition. You are definitely valued and have earned the respect you so dutifully deserve. Best of luck. ❤

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for support. Sadly, anti trans folks are not interested in being properly informed.

@Brian.8272 5 ай бұрын

I am transgender, came out 4 months ago, and moved away from my family into an apartment, my wife tells me if I give this life up we can get back together, I'm confused because I really want my marriage, we also have 6 children,

@s0r476 2 ай бұрын

hopefully you have figured things out, if not, i encourage you to be yourself, live your life for yourself etc. how do you view your marriage it say, 40 years from now, would you regret or be content with not transitioning? if you were old and didnt have frequent contact with your kids and such, would you wish you transitioned? questions like those i find are helpful.

@user-mx4is4fx3c 5 ай бұрын

I want to give a biological perspective on the last question. Do NOT stop hormones. The brain and body need hormones to properly function. If you haven't had bottom surgery/srs and your body still produces testosterone, stopping hormones would lead to remasculinization. And dysphoria would likely return since the brain won't be getting E anymore. If you did have these procedures and you don't have a testosterone flow anymore, stopping to take hormones, will lead to various problems like osteoporosis. There is a reason menopausal women often go on HRT themselves.

@FrozEnbyWolf150 5 ай бұрын

I would add, while there are cases of people stopping HRT, it's typically because health issues get in the way, or because they're nonbinary and had intended to stop after a certain time anyway. Some people also lose access to healthcare, but I'm talking about voluntarily stopping hormones.

@Powergirllls 4 ай бұрын

@britneypretorius5382 4 ай бұрын

I'm trans I knew I was a woman since I was a child I started 2 years ago hornmones but now I'm going through a season of doubting my gender but I know for a fact I'm a woman why am I feeling this doubt it hurts so much

@hayvansever-xk8ds 5 ай бұрын

I took a 10-day break from hormones for family reasons and started again with casodex, estrofem, 3 days or 2 days, I took estrogen for 2 months, you know, I didn't take it for 9 or 10 days, my estrogen has dropped a lot, does this mean that all my estrogen is gone? So do I have to wait another 3 months for the same thing? Or will it get better after a few weeks by taking estrogen? Because my skin has become extremely hard, my strength has increased and my shoulders have become wider. Does anything affect breast development? Please help me, will my estrogen return to the same level as before after a few weeks? Since I couldn't go to endocrinology, I'm just asking you to guess. I'm begging you, please help me, can it be fixed? I was forced by my family to cut my hair and act like a man. I was couldn't take hormones, so please, and my breasts had decreased glandular secretion without taking hormones, the hardness was gone, but after taking hormones, it improved a little, but there are stretch marks, will this prevent its development? If we take hormones for 2 months, then stop taking them for 10 days and start again, there will be no problem, right?

@hayvansever-xk8ds 5 ай бұрын

Hi, my name is Zeynep and I'm old 14.I took a 10-day break from hormones for family reasons and started again with casodex, estrofem, 3 days or 2 days, I took estrogen for 2 months, you know, I didn't take it for 9 or 10 days, my estrogen has dropped a lot, does this mean that all my estrogen is gone? So do I have to wait another 3 months for the same thing? Or will it get better after a few weeks by taking estrogen? Because my skin has become extremely hard, my strength has increased and my shoulders have become wider. Does anything affect breast development? Please help me, will my estrogen return to the same level as before after a few weeks? Since I couldn't go to endocrinology, I'm just asking you to guess. I'm begging you, please help me, can it be fixed? I was forced by my family to cut my hair and act like a man. I was couldn't take hormones, so please, and my breasts had decreased glandular secretion without taking hormones, the hardness was gone, but after taking hormones, it improved a little, but there are stretch marks, will this prevent its development? If we take hormones for 2 months, then stop taking them for 10 days and start again, there will be no problem, right?❤ Pls help me

@MsChristyCox 5 ай бұрын

I will miss you on here. All my love ❤😢

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Appreciate this!

@apocalypse12345 5 ай бұрын

Can we start hormones till we feminize... Then stop them . Or it's a life time issue ?! I want to start hormones... As soon as I can 😊😢

@s0r476 2 ай бұрын

some changes are permanent, some are not, there are lists available online with a quick google search!

@crisweitzmon 5 ай бұрын

you will be missed cris w chi-chapter

@DRZPHD 5 ай бұрын

Ditto.

@CarlosManuela-vk9qg 17 күн бұрын

Why not Just Change gears with the Channel maybe become an international observer of Harmful Laws being passed which are contrary to the interests of The Transgender community maybe become a Lobbyist in Washington to protect Transgender rights & Social issues?