Rob Christensen - Drug Smuggling - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

Rob Christensen - Drug Smuggling - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored - Extended

Рет қаралды 3,851,190

6 жыл бұрын

Rob Christensen gets caught trying to smuggle ketamine over the U.S.-Mexico border during one last drug-fueled hoorah with an old friend.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
This Is Not Happening airs Fridays at 12a/11c on Comedy Central.
Follow Rob Christensen on Twitter: / roblovesbagels

Пікірлер: 1 600

@standup 4 жыл бұрын

Looking for more This Is Not Happening? Check out comedians’ wildest drug stories here: kzfaq.info/sun/PLD7nPL1U-R5pl-EsIsmgZTuS0t3Tm6EV8

@jptheproduct 4 жыл бұрын

Just in case no one's warned you. Intros that last longer than 10 seconds on youtube generally run off viewers. Also giving the punch line to a joke in the intro destroys the joke. That's why it's called the "punch line" its last, it's the thing that gets laughed at after the comedian has spent his whole set warming the listener up for the laugh but you guys done murdered every joke you've uploaded. Luckily I noticed it happening so I skip to 60 seconds in every video you upload.

@jdsd744 4 жыл бұрын

Please give ari this show back smh

@twigfrompigtwig3541 4 жыл бұрын

I liked the other guy ari for a host.

@SuperSmoothSlick 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for ruining my experience 😁

@heavymetalmusichead4969 6 жыл бұрын

"For old times sake, let's just drive down to Mexico and commit a federal crime." I died. Lol.

@arexports 5 жыл бұрын

Hahaahahah exactly he nailed it

@age-ben4910 5 жыл бұрын

Lol

@TTstone616 4 жыл бұрын

Me too

@RED01SEA 3 жыл бұрын

is this from there too kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bdZ1da-esJ_Kg5c.html

@Unknownsinger001 3 жыл бұрын

Literally read this as I heard it😂

@sicksalt7765 5 жыл бұрын

*deep, masculine voice in Brooklyn accent* “I’m too dainty for that”

@ericsilva9296 5 жыл бұрын

Mexican got on boots

@JAVONEETHEMOMMY 5 жыл бұрын

eric silva 😂😂😂😂

@JAVONEETHEMOMMY 5 жыл бұрын

Now I wanna watch that clip 😂😂😂

@sandrewcoira1215 5 жыл бұрын

@bobbythepirate1430 5 жыл бұрын

mexican got on boots... CC

@coryhull5098 5 жыл бұрын

Mitchell... This is gonna be bad Mitchell..

@Preshocx 6 жыл бұрын

The New York accent is strong on this one.

@the5stacys 5 жыл бұрын

Gaaaaree

@calebc6429 4 жыл бұрын

It's not a full blown one though some words only

@dfreeman13 4 жыл бұрын

Caleb C nah, that’s a strong one.

@calebc6429 4 жыл бұрын

@@dfreeman13 my girl is from fucking Bensonhurst in the BK I think I know what a strong accent is.

@calebc6429 4 жыл бұрын

@Linda Reyes bk is brooklyn new york

@Anangrygoose 6 жыл бұрын

That one laugh in the crowd is all I can focus on

@JackofEire 6 жыл бұрын

James Cairoli Same. I just want to punch that obnoxious fuck in the face. So. Hard.

@saint52vvs 6 жыл бұрын

James Cairoli just posted the same.

@webbnft 6 жыл бұрын

AHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAAAAHHAHA

@h7opolo 6 жыл бұрын

Shutup, dude. That's his friend Gary.

@joelow7311 6 жыл бұрын

gary's got a stupid laugh. "EH HAAA HAAA"

@gabed882 6 жыл бұрын

His delivery was flawless

@coryhull5098 5 жыл бұрын

Agreed. You can't tell stories like these and deliver the lines wrong.

@brians7901 3 жыл бұрын

This is probably my favorite T.I.N.H I've watched. Almost every line is hilarious and he tells it perfectly

@mazsax999 5 жыл бұрын

"Close enough Gary, you're a gangster." Dead!!! 💀💀💀💀💀💀

@mr.anthony9500 3 жыл бұрын

"Second time I had a gun pulled on me was by my arch nemesis. A white Crip named Willie Boats, but I wasn't nervous...CAUSE WILLIE BOATS AIN'T GONNA DO SHIT!!!" Too good. Too Honest. Too funny. How it works.

@anactualalpaca7016 Жыл бұрын

I literally came back to this video just to hear him say that line, I love how he says it, it replays in my mind constantly

@jAug94 Жыл бұрын

Thats also what I’m doing here lol

@thomasmitchell4128 Жыл бұрын

Present

@MoonchildOfDarkness 6 жыл бұрын

WE WOULD RENT. SAD. HORSES.

@purpleman173 6 жыл бұрын

You should sit on my face.

@TheTaterTotP80 6 жыл бұрын

Poor Horses, though. Legit sad and awful.

@forrestthroughdatrees 6 жыл бұрын

And give them horse tranquilizer, aka ketamine.

@jakesomit9216 5 жыл бұрын

It's impressive that he can remember all that while being on Ketamine.

@geovanytorralva4661 5 жыл бұрын

I really hope they shared with the horses

@susboi8211 6 жыл бұрын

I will forever hear that laugh in my nightmares.

@clintburton9916 6 жыл бұрын

Zero Zero Dude I stopped the video about five minutes ago because of that and that's all I hear now. I think Opeth should help, though.

@50zezima 5 жыл бұрын

HAH HAH HAAAAAAA

@BrandonLee-ix3eh 5 жыл бұрын

That Fucker is drunk or high or maybe just dumb.

@TxMoney69 5 жыл бұрын

"...calm down sir, can we get you a soda?"💀💀💀

@PemaMendez990 4 жыл бұрын

Being a Latino the "never go the wrong way up a one way street" part killed me 🤣🤣 almost every story I've heard from people I know in which they got caught by the police had been because they went the wrong way up a one way street.

@karenreid4756 3 жыл бұрын

My bro, and other known associates, for (famously, imo) stopping at green lights. Lol.

@biancajade728 Жыл бұрын

My ex did that 🤣

@woolibu1111 6 жыл бұрын

Can someone tell his dad to quit laughing?

@stt.9433 6 жыл бұрын

he should have ad libbed hey Gary stop laughing so loud.

@cristi0291 6 жыл бұрын

lmaooooo

@biguprochester 5 жыл бұрын

His dad is actually pretty disappointed that he’s trying to talk like a black gentleman

@egyptjohnson8076 5 жыл бұрын

Jeremy Hodges 😂🤣🤣🤦🏽‍♂️

@underhandleft13 5 жыл бұрын

Chris young You should be disappointed in your ignorance and attempting to appear above another by being racist.

@amberparker9883 5 жыл бұрын

That one dude relates to this story a little TOO MUCH 😂😂😂

@cjok8367 6 жыл бұрын

Willie boats. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@inkonpaperhero 5 жыл бұрын

Willie Boats is a bitch who ain't gonna do shit!

@the.feever. 4 жыл бұрын

8:53

@MzGeminiNightowl 5 жыл бұрын

Y’all are complaining about that guy, what irritated me was that lady “we did our drugs”. I rather hear a weird laugh than someone mocking an act.

@garpthelarp 5 жыл бұрын

yeah that was so weird, like did she think she was funny or something?

@MakeItMakeSense285 5 жыл бұрын

And I’m pretty sure the directors of the show would tell the audience not to heckle while they are filming.

@anydaynow 4 жыл бұрын

Alo Bre I think it was a flattering imitation kinda remark. As in she liked the way he said it. I mighta done the same thing, just quieter.

@yookieyookie3311 4 жыл бұрын

To be fair I repeat something someone said if I think it’s funny. It’s like a reflex,, I’d try not to a comedy show fs, but I don’t mean it badly, and I don’t think this lady did

@Bryanmiester 4 жыл бұрын

yookie yookie yea as a black person I can confirm she learned it from her grandmother

@stizzlespinizzle 6 жыл бұрын

This dude is so fucking funny. I met him once and he was mad that he didn't win a comedy competition and I was like who the fuck is this dude and then I saw him on stage and I was mad that he didn't win the comedy competition.

@joshgibson9732 6 жыл бұрын

Hahahahaha bro stop repeating yourself!

@LebaneseJesus 6 жыл бұрын

Astral, wtf are you talking about?

@meganschmidt548 6 жыл бұрын

Black Jesus It's the internet, idiots are plentiful.

@hannahpickles4825 2 жыл бұрын

Lol, well told. Came full circle

@timlennon4571 5 жыл бұрын

He looks like all the characters from EA sports video games at the same time.

@nonamer29 5 жыл бұрын

Facts!!!

@etherghost3000 5 жыл бұрын

That delivery though. Guys timing is beast.

@crownhic6827 5 жыл бұрын

Before 9-11 you could hide drugs in a fake cast on your arm extremely easily. You just couldn't do it with the same airline. They would get suspicious if you had a broken arm for 2 years and flying twice a week🤪

@Freddy1- 4 жыл бұрын

I wish I would have been older at that time hahaha

@fubzblue4448 4 жыл бұрын

Joaquin Phoenix is laughing in the background, how cool is that

@dannythompson1948 4 жыл бұрын

Did you see him in the crowd?

@DKM.23 4 жыл бұрын

I love how all the crowd just start clapping when he says the Mexican police gave them all their drugs back 😂

@kelseyfarr1548 5 жыл бұрын

“I’m to dainty for that.” 😂

@CrankLucas 6 жыл бұрын

Yo I thought from the thumbnail it was sinbad lol Then he looked more like him even closer

@Oscar-pm9bx 6 жыл бұрын

Crank Lucas My G! Where’s Them spiser noises

@justinsane7884 6 жыл бұрын

Crank Lucas IM AN OVERDOSER

@HeIsSoKool 6 жыл бұрын

I be reading the comments of a lot of videos and responding. This the most random comment I ever responded to...

@gavinloge373 6 жыл бұрын

Crank Lucas what up crank! Huge fan of the channel im subscribed with notifs on lol keep grinding big homie!!

@bohemicanan6227 6 жыл бұрын

Yall aint know that sinbads bastard son! 😂😂😂

@elijahwilliams1531 5 жыл бұрын

Who else hates the intros?🤔

@Ajaxaxxess 5 жыл бұрын

11-14 forward clicks skips by it

@carlosargueta5449 5 жыл бұрын

At first I hated. Now I feel like I get it. Kinda. Kinda enjoy it.

@harrymack5610 5 жыл бұрын

@@carlosargueta5449 cuz u have no soul & let the advertisement industry brainwash you bruh...u weak minded gump

@marklewis4793 5 жыл бұрын

they're just long enough to roll a joint,

@maxwel1506 5 жыл бұрын

@@marklewis4793 u fast boy

@lakaak1200 Жыл бұрын

This is one of my favorite stories from this show. I've watched it 50 times give or take. His flow and delivery are perfect. Would love to see more of him.

@RedMo46 6 жыл бұрын

The guy laughing in the back ground reminds me of the Clown from Happy Gilmore. "YOURE GONNA DIE CLOWN"

@coryhull5098 5 жыл бұрын

Just go to your happy place....

@Lulubye07 3 жыл бұрын

This mans life is a whole fever dream

@albertomendez137 5 жыл бұрын

The way he says "buttcheek or an arm muscle" 😂😂😂 5:19

@muffin_gamers 5 жыл бұрын

I’m gonna use that line “I’m just saying I’ve got a birthday every year”

@bobbisue313 4 жыл бұрын

Love it! What a good crowd, he's killing it. Hilarious stuff man. The guy with the loud laugh in the back is actually cracking me up. He sounds like a funny guy to be around.

@rachl538 4 жыл бұрын

I live in San Luis Obispo county and he hit the nail right on the head. “This is why people hate white people” cracked me up.

@matthewbourgeois9648 4 жыл бұрын

The greatest plot twist in history. "You forgot this"

@brownguy903 6 жыл бұрын

Almost missed the Russian jew tie in at the end

@MysticJem2016 5 жыл бұрын

oh my god you're so right! LOL

@jmalibu7617 5 жыл бұрын

brownguy903 I woulda never even fucking noticed and this is my 3rd time watching bro lmao

@maxabaidullah7748 4 жыл бұрын

Didn’t even peep that. Good catch... now it’s EVEN better story

@ricoandrade3123 4 жыл бұрын

oof

@jaefrmbk2k 3 жыл бұрын

worrrd

@danielbrown1724 4 жыл бұрын

This guy is awesome, wow!! I thought I'd seen all of these episodes. Well done!!

@thebigmatt13 6 жыл бұрын

1:03 to skip intro

@BlenderisedMind 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you kind sir! Every time I watch one of these I first check if someone made a skip intro comment! :)

@corrylaich 6 жыл бұрын

Take your like

@micaiahw4522 6 жыл бұрын

Matthew Browning i

@KennyMcCormick99 3 жыл бұрын

😆THAT WAS ACTUALLY A LOT funnier than I was expecting!! Well done, Rob!!😆

@nickreynolds9745 4 жыл бұрын

"it feels Great to be halfway done" best line

@jennifersharinglifeonallsu7620 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you C C For Sharing all These priceless videos..👏♥️

@Harloha 6 жыл бұрын

Who is this guy? Definitely a great story teller, definitely funny, and definitely on my top 5 from this show. This dude could tell a story about brushing his teeth that morning and it would be entertaining and funny. Good shit brother. Much love and aloha.

@sarikatimmi 5 жыл бұрын

Steve Harloha feel the same way man

@adecentman5217 5 жыл бұрын

Definitely definitely definitely

@ExclusiveMusic808 5 жыл бұрын

Hoooo yea aloha 808 cheee pono

@jacobromero5721 5 жыл бұрын

It was a great set, the people who get to hear the set when he nails it are even luckier then we are to get to hear the set.. I feel it could have been even better if it was cleaner/smoother ,he broke from style/tone/and timing he had set at the start of the performance.. I can't find anymore from him, I'd really like to hear another full set from him..

@brianoshea1178 5 жыл бұрын

best story teller on this is JIm Breuer and his bombing in Sears story, by the end I'm crying laughing every time I hear it......."That guys a a sspect!"

@GoodGollyMissMolly763 6 жыл бұрын

Idk why people are complaining about that one guy laughing in the background. I thought it was funny lol

@qasperr994 6 жыл бұрын

MollyTsab It's just the sad sacks who go to comedy shows and sit there stonefaced, too afraid to laugh.

@kevinjames5221 6 жыл бұрын

The worst part is that others regurgitate the same comment. Bunch of bitches and followers. I enjoyed it.

@UnraisedGaming 6 жыл бұрын

I didnt even notice him.

@LebaneseJesus 6 жыл бұрын

Yeah I didn't notice him either!

@Joshua-ev9uw 6 жыл бұрын

I didn't even notice til i read the comments

@vaekkriinhart4347 3 жыл бұрын

best one I've seen dude knows how to tell a story.. This is fantastic

@davide887 5 жыл бұрын

Dudes an amazing story teller why haven't I heard of him

@crangel8623 5 жыл бұрын

The real mvp is the dude laughing in the background 😂😂😂😂

@swaybryan319 4 жыл бұрын

This was tremendous and an intriguing story 10/10

@rhs1578 2 жыл бұрын

Calm down sir!! Can we get you a soda? 😂😂

@Saev 5 жыл бұрын

"You should never ever drive the wrong way up a one way street"

@deewhy1073 2 жыл бұрын

He is such a great story teller 🔥🔥

@lynxdove 5 жыл бұрын

I’m dying at the one dude at 10:26 who just nods and claps like he’s been in that exact situation before

@dougman999 4 жыл бұрын

I love this guy's delivery. Funniest one yet!

@Netherwolf6100 4 жыл бұрын

lol this guy reminds me of that one dude who shows up at a barbershop with a story to tell. His delivery and voice tone are on point!

@chrisbiolaw5136 6 жыл бұрын

Laughed so hard the whole time, and especially when the cops gave back the drugs! Best this is not happening in awhile

@SkateSka 5 жыл бұрын

Chris Biolaw I was waiting for that one. Police here in eastern europe keep the drugs to resell them, Ive lived in England long enough to know that's a bit more of an issue in the west. I still curled up laughing on like half the story, just brilliant.

@sarikatimmi 5 жыл бұрын

George Mirchev what a dick move by the eastern european cops man

@noahhultgren193 5 жыл бұрын

I knew some guys who bought coke from cops, it was cheap cause it was stolen. That said, ketamine was legal in Mexico in the 90s you didn't even have get it from veterinarians, you could just buy it over the counter at normal pharmacies.

@charlesgordon5156 6 жыл бұрын

“Can we get you a soda?” 😆😏😕

@rhiannakane2369 5 жыл бұрын

Love the ending! Great story.

@Detznuts 2 жыл бұрын

Was having a bad day put this on forgot about it for a second. It's amazing what laughter can do.

@hywodena 5 жыл бұрын

"You cant keep a stable with 30 horses, that'd be crazy!"

@samdillon9313 5 жыл бұрын

You can with ketamine... Lol

@elbolillo2703 5 жыл бұрын

I've ran stables with around 40. It's not that hard

@hywodena 5 жыл бұрын

@@elbolillo2703 yeah I work with horses full time. I've worked in several barns, including one of my own.. so far none with more than 30, but I don't find a 30 horse barn to be particularly crazy

@elbolillo2703 5 жыл бұрын

@@hywodena sweet goat you you got there lol

@hywodena 5 жыл бұрын

@@elbolillo2703 yeah they're cute 😄

@CaspianDanes 5 жыл бұрын

He's so totally on drugs in this video.

@xdaddyxwarbucks 6 жыл бұрын

There is a boat company called "Willie Boats" and they literally sell one named Nemesis...

@bryce1934 2 жыл бұрын

Happened to me in the US. They confiscated a zip lock bag full of candy I had laced. Months later I got a call, "You can retrieve your confiscated items". Went to the city jail and they just handed me back my bag of candy. I had gotten clean for the past 9 months, then they handed me a bag full of my DOC. ironic

@newusernamehere4772 Жыл бұрын

Which drug, for research

@newusernamehere4772 Жыл бұрын

Was it actual DOC or DOC as in "drug of choice?"

@bryce1934 Жыл бұрын

@@newusernamehere4772 my drug of choice. At the time it was etizolam

@Mohammed_plt Жыл бұрын

Did you toss it away or did you fall back into it? Just curious

@bryce1934 Жыл бұрын

@@Mohammed_plt 100% relapsed hard

@isabellevaldez9546 4 жыл бұрын

As a former addict I appreciate this so much 🤣. The way he said “did our drugggggs” lmaooo, such ketamine vibes. I love it

@sadezem991 2 жыл бұрын

I'm in recovery as well and love this type of humor. I fr loved this set! Also not to be weird but I hope you're doing well ❤️

@jonathanmcdonald7512 5 жыл бұрын

"California Poly Technical Institue in San Luis Obispo California was where I first learned why some people don't like white people." I love it.

@nmabak 4 жыл бұрын

Dude, its my favorite comedy central clip of all an d I keep coming back. lol

@paleamigo8575 3 жыл бұрын

Outstanding story! The true stories always seem to be the best.🤣👍

@MrWholewheat 6 жыл бұрын

Holy crap that was amazing!

@drearmouse9510 6 жыл бұрын

Didn't know Vaas Montenegro did stand-up.

@coryhull5098 5 жыл бұрын

Holy shit I'm not the only one who noticed!

@Rozzado 5 жыл бұрын

Holy shit he'd be a dead ringer for a movie, good eye.

@PartyboyDanny 4 жыл бұрын

He’s awesome. Great story. Great delivery!

@AwesomeTrini 5 жыл бұрын

This is the best story ever ! I laughed all the way through.

@jakewhitehead4911 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve been watching these videos too much. I’m starting to recognize people in the audience that I’ve seen in other videos.

@jasonsadler361 5 жыл бұрын

Lmao this was one of the most funny stories I've heard.

@prakashspex 2 жыл бұрын

best one I found in a long time !

@jordanpermenter5364 5 жыл бұрын

How have I not heard of this guy yet, this is fantastic

@Niketecx 5 жыл бұрын

Laugh in the background made it 20x funnier

@petrovsimon 6 жыл бұрын

That's one good friend in the crowd!

@priestmorrison6564 5 жыл бұрын

VERY good set!!!

@TonyTarantula 4 жыл бұрын

The intros are just so good!

@DroBreez0 5 жыл бұрын

Anyone else catch the Breaking Bad reference with the head on the tortoise line? Lol dopee

@bobbierobinson6269 4 жыл бұрын

It's weird how we all try to make deals with God when we're scared, but as soon as we're safe...it's out the door. That does sound like a parent/child relationship.

@kevinlee1578 3 жыл бұрын

This was the best one ive seen so far, funny dude

@DanyaAnderson 4 жыл бұрын

best story yet

@KushBabySpareChange 6 жыл бұрын

I am going to need a one-hour special, please!

@switcheddreams4338 5 жыл бұрын

Mexicans got on boots

@darnellharris2886 5 жыл бұрын

Cee Cee 😂

@darnellharris2886 5 жыл бұрын

@@grayson7677 what kind of 🔪.. New ass niggas man 😂

@slevinh7803 5 жыл бұрын

I CCC

@curtismurphy5940 5 жыл бұрын

Man das a personal knife

@Cjackson6672 5 жыл бұрын

I got cut by a Mexican..... and he ain't have on boots 😂

@viacoat.2983 4 жыл бұрын

This has got to be my favorite story

@TheSnarkyViking 2 жыл бұрын

The way he pronounces "Gary" just kills me everytime

@alenavarro135 4 жыл бұрын

That one guys laugh in the background reminds me of the scene in the Joker

@lackofboringstuf2347 4 жыл бұрын

Omg yes

@fediklai 6 жыл бұрын

Lil Uzi Vert in the back chillin

@sadiecrook2937 6 жыл бұрын

Fedi Klai he was pushed to the Edge

@humanoidbastard673 6 жыл бұрын

Sadie Crook they played with hand grenades

@jackjackson2026 6 жыл бұрын

Ness G THEY GOT KICKED IN THE HEAD

@kingmarothementor4773 5 жыл бұрын

He laughed at that "white guys don't get shot by cops" line....and he SHOULDN'T HAVE!

@Mckinleyfaustin 2 жыл бұрын

That mans laugh throughout the show. 😂😂😂

@joshuahartnett4220 3 жыл бұрын

DUUUUUDE YOU'RE HILARIOUS

@rakiawithers1441 5 жыл бұрын

When he said " People's parents still together " I died because I love my husband , we've been together 15 years and I'm 35. I can't imagine life without him,that accent has me dying..lol 😂

@ThreeLetterCrew 6 жыл бұрын

Hilarious! Rob is a pro.

@karma2401 3 жыл бұрын

Him being halfway done at 35!!!! TOOK ME OOOOUUTT! 😭😭😭😂😂😂

@Yzjoshuwave 6 жыл бұрын

Now that was a great story!!

@OhhhItsMeCandy 6 жыл бұрын

He was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!

@spaz5310 5 жыл бұрын

oh my god these intros are so bad. i wonder how many people click away during the intro?

@bob9644 4 жыл бұрын

Spaz Derek dude you have no idea. At least 75% of ppl hate the intros. Makes you wonder why they still have them

@lightastro46 4 жыл бұрын

Everyone

@EvanCops 3 жыл бұрын

@@bob9644 theyve grown on me

@LTSlugg 3 жыл бұрын

Theyre meant to be stupid AF its a joke for the comedians, ever hear of the comics comic? theyre so fucking absurd smoke a J and lol

@larrymcjones 3 жыл бұрын

Ever heard of fast forwarding?

@whowasdat_ 5 жыл бұрын

Best one yet

@jamesprice2163 Жыл бұрын

I love how he can't help but smile when people laugh you can tell he loves comedy

@aidan4028 5 жыл бұрын

his writing is like john mulaney, but his delivery is completely different.

@ttthecat 6 жыл бұрын

I'm looking forward to see what this comedian does next he's got a really great style really great delivery and pretty cute too!

@chaosawaits 5 жыл бұрын

And a drug user

@VieenRennes 5 жыл бұрын

This is brilliantly delivered and well thought out storytelling. He'd do fucking fab with a special.

@ipotyoudrop 6 жыл бұрын

Lmao he jumps out and yells screw you god 😂😂😂