I think the best response is assertiveness and if that gets deflected the boundarie of walking away.

Sometimes silence is your only option. Some people will never understand you because they don't want to.

@@realhealing7802 True. And they don't have to understand me. For me the silence usually comes after asserting my boundarie.

Agreed!

Not always. Some toxic people will interpret your silence as green light to continue abuse. This can work in situation where we do not depend on them and when we can leave. It starts to be problem when we cannot leave due to any reason: finances, security, help, third party, obligations, contract, safety etc. Then staying silent is enabling abuse and it is enabling abuser in their abuse. Enabling is the word here. Evil thrives when good men are silent.

They are sadists, you're right

Love this ! I think that’s as well 😊

@@shaniecegullison 🙏🕊🙏

YE$ And I Would Add Forgive Them For They Do Not Know. B/C They Don't Truly Understand Being THAT Way Is Hurting Themselves As Well ❤️‍🩹🤕

@@KT-sv6jx ❤️🕊❤️

And the joy joy ...

Juile Kinsella I'm in my 60s now and I'm still having trouble not reacting! It does take practice though. I've had huge issues with highly narcissistic, or worse, individuals since I was a child as well and wish you all the very best with your recovery. 😊

We are blessed today with good guides like Stefanie, back when it was all women trashing and male supremacy, women told, like children, to be quiet.

Me too. And I've noticed that anyone that is available at our age, if they're not aware and avoiding people, they're toxic and grasping at them.

That hasn't changed. Women are still treated badly.

I was raised in a cult, and I want you to know psychos and other predatory type people TARGET the kind, the generous, and the essentially kind-hearted. So steel your judgement of others, you may have accidentally been being too selfless in the presence of leeches!

So true!

Thank you Nicky. I am having a hard time dealing with my Mom. I get so frustrated and angry. I just rather not talk to her at all but she's in her eighties. I need to practice remaining calm.

I know how you feel. Whenever I expressed how her decisions affected my life, she gets defensive, cold and doesn’t take accountability- classic narcissistic traits. I just stopped trying to get her to understand and apologize as it will never happen. I have a very surface level relationship with her.

Seek God and eternal salvation! He WILL answer you and you WILL find peace. 100% no questions asked.

@@itskeagan3004 I am sooooo angry at Dr's and this guy's abusive behavior towards me.....I feel so lost😔 Thank you Jesus I'm still standing....HE'S not done with me yet I know🙏🏼🙏🏼 Thank you for responding ❤

@@itskeagan3004 100% truth. Jesus is the one who leads me to wisdom on how to navigate the “land mines in life.” He also shows me the areas where I need healing inside and out and where I need to humble myself and make changes. He is my filter and source for everything. I know he led me to Stephanie’s channel. 🤍✝️🕊

@@aliciawolff1546 I understand you’re suffering and I’m so sorry that you’re living through this. My heart breaks for those living in turmoil and trauma. I did for 20 years and I nearly died from a 10 year fight with opiate addiction. Thank Jesus I’m 2 years sober and the anger, resentment, depression (diagnosed manic depressive,PTSD, anxiety) were ALL taken away from me. I’ll tell you how. I was desperate in April this year. I had quit drugs, my life was okay but I was so depressed and angry/resentful that it consumed me. I replayed traumatic situations like another addiction asking why it had to be that way, why couldn’t my parents see my pain. The devil was working on me hard and I would have relapsed if I didn’t do SOMETHING. Problem was, I tried everything but seeking God with my whole heart. I got on my knees in my office that day. I started pleading with God HARD. I begged him to take my anger, suffering and brokenness from me. I told Him He could have my heart, that I would surrender my sinful ways and seek Him daily. Next thing I knew I was shaking and crying like a child, I felt SO humbled. BUT more importantly I felt a peace in my heart I’ve NEVER known. He removed my heart of stone, I felt a “shell” break off my encased heart. It was nothing short of God’s Grace and Mercy, He wrapped me in His and poured His Holy Spirit out onto me. I’m sorry for the long response! I just want to share this free love God offers to ALL. I pray that you find peace, I’m praying for you as soon as I finish this comment. God Bless those who follow Him. Thank you too, Shout It!

@@itskeagan3004 I appreciate this message so much, long and ALL lol❤ Thank God my faith is STRONG.....HE is the reason I'm still going THANK YOU JESUS🙏🏼🙏🏼 God BLESS you to keep sharing HOPE & LOVE and pour an UNCONTAINABLE amount of BLESSINGS over your life in JESUS'S MIGHTY NAME AMEN❤🙏🏼❤🙏🏼❤🙏🏼

Well said. The chaos and heartache. Evaluating it in my head (as we speak) after a bad conversation with a guy I dated very shortly. I hope I am able to renew myself bc my responsiveness is to much for sure.

Yes exactly

Can you explain Retort?

This happened to me too. I used to be reactive, then I realized people were using it against me. Then I “overcorrected” by practicing calmness and non response which manifested into people-pleasing. So now I am practicing the enforcement of my boundaries while being mindful of which interactions deserve my energy.

​@@xoMrsWentzxo "Can you explain Retort?" Self advocacy - is short answer. Like in a court, when you are being brought to trial and you need a lawyer to present your case. Long answer: I have noticed that when someone is toxic, unreasonable, angry - due to Rejection Sensitivity and Complex Trauma and exposure to criticism while growing up - I shut up. I freeze and fawn. I do not tell my story. Literally I had been accused of things I did not do - and I would do nothing, I would not tell my story, my side, my defense. I have discovered this happens due to set of complex reasons all of which links to Retort: ability to speak up my story, my side, my defense. 1) Trauma bonding - it is automatic link with anyone who is loud, angry, violent - that I see them as competent and I take anything they say as absolute truth, and them as a god which must be obeyed. 2) Negative Politeness - it is aspiration to not hurt someone's feelings, so you decide to shut up and not to rock the boat, believing that the other person is too fragile to hear the truth which would compromise their character, honesty, integrity, making someone look stupid, but you respect them even though they cross boundaries and they are rude to you. 3) Pollyanna Syndrome - similar concept where one has desire to see good in everyone even at the cost of being swindled by crooks. 4) Toxic empathy - where we rationalize and intellectualize someone's abuse When these four elements mix - the result is panic and blockage and inability to speak up. It appears as if being a coward, a pushover - but in fact it is trauma, experience from past when we were punished for expressing oneself, being honest and authentic over and over again. After all - it is mission impossible to make narcissists and abusers admit their faults and aggression - they have Actor Observer Bias where they will blame the target for anything wrong that happens and they use skillful dualism and double binding to place the blame on the target of their bullying. Then we end up voiceless and we shut up. Retort would be ability to speak back - not only our defense but also idioms and phrases as a shield. I even started to collect a list of retort words and I put them on my blog.

​@@MF-pk2gf 5 months later - and I learned that people pleasing is not really problem. The true problem are abusers. They choose to abuse. They choose consciously to be pathological liars, to withhold partial information, to present distorted reality, they have hidden agenda, they use coercive control (which is criminal act and violation of human rights) - and as HealthyGamer said in his video about unfavorable Power Dynamics - in situations where we cannot leave, when we cannot quit our job, when we cannot simply run away (due to money, shelter, third party) - we are forced to people please in order to survive and to save our sanity. I also learned that toxic society places harsh explanation about our image about who we suppose to be and what is moral and ethical. Like, CBT is doing this insidious and dangerous mistake: to equate our trauma and pain and being abused as a sign of "cowardice" and equates our panic and fears with our character and persona, in form of quick bias explanations and instructions like "be strong" and be "courageous" - as if we are the ones who initiate abuse by our thinking. This explanation by CBT leads to personality disorder - because now we are convinced that our thoughts are outside of our control and we must artificially govern them by trying to be god, narcissists, grandiose figure of uber-mensch god like figure without any mistakes or flaws. I also learned the concept of neurodiversity - which CBT bans - and it means that our way of thinking may be different than dumb people with lower IQ who label our ability to over think as sickness and abnormality - while it is normal and ok. I also learned that agreeableness is character trait, it is part of personality, it even belongs to Big 5 persona traits - so people pleasing is not sickness nor disorder - and in fact it is even found in genes! (CLOCK and CNR1) In normal healthy ambient - it is normal to people please - to care for other people. There is no other way to form romantic, friendship or business contact - if we are not open and friendly. If we are antagonistic and selfish - we will destroy it. We need to have certain level of people pleasing - so it turns into disease only when there is narcissists toxic people on the other side who exploit and mock our kindness.

Toxic

🎯

I hope you stood firm in your choice Kimberly. Your choice of staying away from an argument is noble.

I can totally sympathise with you !! ❤️🙏🏼 keep watching her videos and also audiobooks of Wayne Dyer. Sending you lots of strength!!

Establish boundaries. Go to the court and serve him with child support and have a legal agreement about who is going to watch the kid and when. Without this he can kidnap your child or do whatever he wants. You have to set boundaries ASAP, and this is a way u don’t have to tell him what needs to be done, but someone else (mediation)

Covert testing vs joint exercise. Betrays trust.

I'm so glad!

I’m confused… ?

I.m not from USA is thac ok?

BLOCK THEM! Why you continue to look at their crap 💩?? Block them access do you and you block their bad energy!