Cop: “sir do you know why I pulled you over today” Me: *”I’m legally allowed to leave”*

She left her boyfriend because she was legally allowed to leave

"It's best to sit down peacefully" ...As opposed to standing violently?

I saw an Instagram fact account that would tell you "basic English vs. advanced English" and one of the posts was this: Basic English: she was crying loudly Advanced English: she was bowling his eyes out

Kidnapper: you’re going to stay here until we get the money Person: sorry but I’m legally allowed to leave Kidnapper: understandable, have a good day

someone: spell icup me: uhh..i- i- cnp

I love how “Mice love cheese” and “Cheese is not their favorite food” don’t even contradict each other

I am happy to inform you that "Greg -the fastest growing army on the internet" is in the Urban Dictionary

Sorry lads, gotta run. The cops are coming because I was illegally skilled.

Police officer: “Ma’am, you murdered twelve children and used their limbs as pins, and used their skulls as bowling balls. How do you explain?!” Me: *pulls out legally skilled identification card* Officer: oh shit lol my bad

The thing about the inventor of email is actually wild. I looked it up because i was like "the inventor of email is the same age as my mother and invented it as a teen in the 70s? Wtf" anyway turns out that 1. it's a massively disputed claim, 2. He was in a long term relationship with Fran Drescher and claims they got married even though they didn't, and 3. His Wikipedia article immediately describes him as being "known for promoting conspiracy theories, pseudoscience and unfounded medical claims". Dude has 4 college degrees including a PhD, he's clearly not dumb, he just fucking loves lying apparently

Danny 2018- Mobile games' bad ads aren't interesting enough to make a whole video one Danny 2021- Has not only a 6+ part series, but an entire investigation which he funded with thousands of dollars

Bartender: Sir you're underage, you cant drink. Me: I'm legally skilled. *Pulls out fake ID* Bartender: Oh, sorry for the inconvenience .

*drinks water standing up* *immediately gets arthritis and has a heart attack*

I once got an ad with a caption saying “I can’t reach pink borat” WHAT THE FRICK IS A BORAT AND WHY IS IT PINK

Very funny that Danny thought bad Instagram ads wouldn't give him enough content for a full video but now Badads is one of his longest running series.

Dude the girl can’t leave Jonathan because she’s not legally allowed to leave.

Danny: If he doesn't know the difference between cup and cnp, you should break up with him. Dyslexic people:

As someone who's into spirituality I'd like to say that the "places of birth" thing weirded me out too. You don't have to believe in ghosts to think of that as new information.

I got an ad for one zombie theme match three puzzle game and it said “don’t play this game if you’re happy”

Who knew after all this time Edgar Allan Poe was just a really skilled caterpillar

Ad: Are you math enough? Me: *crying at the dinner table trying to do my homework* no NO NO IM NOT

Danny: a bunch of websites made by my own fans. I mean, whats more unbiased than that?" Me, a Political Science Major: Honestly, that is pretty unbiased.

this video inspired me to make a play about edgar allan poe for school and i got a passing grade. Thanks for helping me become legally skilled in my educational activities Danny!

Sister: knows your every inch SWEET HOME ALABAMA

I just drank water standing up...and my cat just stared at me... Am I dead for drinking water standing up...

" But when do I get to eat the ants!?" Danny go outside in your yard I'm sure you'll find plenty of ants to eat

Sister: knows your every inch *in the distance… banjo music plays*

Level one: CUP CNP Level two: Sacrilegious Sacrelegious

My leg fell off because I drinks water while standing

5:20 I’ve never heard someone call it a “caterpeller” but I like it

11:57 It’s 1:37am on a Tuesday and I’m eating ice cream. I’m gonna walk backwards now and become a felon

"Someday Edgar Allen Poe will turn into a beautiful butterfly!"

*Plot twist:* This whole video is one of their weird marketing strategies and danny tries to act like he isn't part of this

That noisy farm bit just _killed_ me, man. Holy shit, I hadn’t watched this video in a while and I was _not_ anticipating how much that single moment would make me laugh.

13:25 just incase anyone is wondering peanut butter works amazingly

DANNY: "Bad Ads aren't good enough to make a full video about." DANNY: [makes like six or seven more videos solely about Bad Ads]

She hated her boyfriend because he kept playing at dinner.

12:27 i dont think it is fully true, but it has some fact in it. Fish do not have vocal cords or lungs like mammals, so they cannot produce sounds in the same way that we do. However, this does not mean that fish are completely silent or "mute." Fish use a variety of non-vocal methods to communicate with each other and their environment. For example, many species of fish use body language, such as fin movements and color changes, to signal aggression, submission, or courtship. Some fish also make sounds by grinding their teeth, vibrating their swim bladder, or rubbing body parts together. In addition, fish are able to detect and interpret a wide range of sounds in their environment, including water movements, vibrations, and even the sounds of other animals. Some fish, like the catfish, have highly sensitive ears that allow them to detect low-frequency sounds in the water. While fish may not communicate with vocalizations in the same way that mammals do, they are still able to communicate and interact with each other in a variety of ways.

The mouse with the cheese analogy is literally me and my wife. She's great at telling you you're wrong.

A good question is if one can be *illegally* skilled

4:12 She wasn't legally allowed to leave

10:00 Im guessing this is referring to 2018 GE3, which did come within about half the distance of the moon, and is big enough to release several nuclear bombs worth of energy. But the way it was worded was very fear mongery, and NASA neither did not tried to do anything about the asteroid, which came no where near the atmosphere.

#2 on trending, look at Greg being the strongest army on earth

another ad i see often for mobile games are split screens, where they say things like “my mom vs my dad” or “professional vs noob”

9:35 actually snails dont slither, they actually do hop. they take very small hops on their feet.

13:13 If anyone's actually in this situation, peanutbutter works really well.

Astroid: *coming to earth" NASA: oh shit *starts up earth and moves it out the way*

There is a very crucial step Police officers go through during police academy. They all have to pass these games to become legally skilled

It's the drinking noise for me at 6:47

It's so nostalgic when he says Jonathan I'm leaving you

it's been years since the release of his iconic "letter" vine and his go-to boyfriend name is *still JONATHAN.*

S(he) h(ate)d (her) boyfriend bec(a)u(s)e he kept playing game(s) during dinner

I'm a new greg and i don't know how many danny videos I've been binge watching over this past few days🙂

6:03 Damn guess I’m finna die soon *sigh* 🤷‍♀️💀

I’ve had my skilled license revoked (I drank water in a standing position)

“She knows every inch” Sweet home alabama

You are really fun and you always make my day Danny

Just the little repeat of little chunks to little tiny chunks is beautiful

Someday Edger Allen Poe will turn into a beautiful butterfly

If you go to Harvard you’re legally blonde

7:44 that made me laugh so hard on its own, but your reaction is what really sold it

5:23 being in a sort of haunted house (the door upstairs used to bang open and shut despite theres no windows for air to blow in, only small opening above the door, and sometimes even when the day is not windy. Used to have it bang loud when i went close by, but then quiet down if i go away) and three cats, the only time they would "stare at nothing" is when they heard something outside and focuses their hearing

I’m not legally skilled anymore, I played this game at dinner

If you hate Jake Paul, *you're legally **_smart_*

The beginning of a great series

I absolutely love Danny's videos becuase the sponsor is put at the end of the video and does not interupt in between the video

"It's an age old question. Are you math enough?" *LeTs TaLk AbOuT tHaT!*

im just imagining some guy named greg whos high clicking on this video not knowing who Danny is and freaking out over the intro

The asteroid got so shy and embarrassed it missed and left

Danny I no you don't read these comments anymore since this video is at least 3 years old but at 13:05 the answer is Peanut Butter

Why do people think Danny and Drew are the same person? This guy doesn't look anything like Danny.

Guys, only mother is real. Father’s just a bank account. Edit: what the fuck when did I make this comment

Oh Danny. Little would he know those instagram ads would spread to your walls

your content is really funny. I look forward to your future content

Here's a real fact: If you're breathing right now, you're alive.

4:18 "Hey mailman what do you got?" Mailman: "Just this letter!" "Ayyyy!" Letter: "Jonathan I don't love you anymore"

Me: Sees Centipede With A Face On It's Back Centipede: Recites The Poem "The Raven" Me: "Edgar, Is That You?"

“Are you math enough?” The only time I heard “math” used as an adjective was in Adventure Time. 🎵Adventure Time. Come on. Grab your friends. We’ll go to very distant lands. With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human. The fun will never end. Adventure Time.🎵

You don’t play it at dinner because if you do you’ll get so mad that you can’t AET

Geez I think the Greg army is actually the fastest growing army on KZfaq

5:25 cats can hear so much better than us, if your cat is staring off into space chances are it just heard a noise you didn't, or it is just staring off into space but if you wanna believe it's ghosts than u can ig

I just want that, “I am legally allowed to leave,” card. For every occasion.

Someday Edgar Allen Poe will turn into a beautiful butterfly

You forgot the "my mom vs my dad" ads

12:56 I can’t stop replaying the way he says “myth”

That moment when you gulp your water rapidly while standing up and then you die.

“Jonathan, I don’t love you anymore” Anyone remember that? The girl left Jonathan because of him ignoring her at dinner and for a game about plants... and she hates him.

Danny: I found these small bits of content that aren’t worth a full video Also Danny *B A D A D S*

1:30 i didn't know you were chill like that

"Do not play this at dinner." Five years later I have followed these instructions exactly.

Or those annoying ads that say "It took me hours to finish level one!" , "I dare you to finish level one" , "Mom vs dad" , "Noob vs pro" , or "Girl vs boy"

“Don’t play this at dinner... JOHNATHAN I miss you” Was that a reference to your vine Danny

the 'sitting down to sip your drink at a party' bit got me

I was listening to this video in the background while working and you saying "Jonathan" really loud the first time made me jump a bit since that's my name.

when my cat was looking up at the celling i just thought, “eh it’s just a ghost”. So i went on with my day and at night turns out it wasn’t a ghost and it was a roach and the roach killed me so now my cat stares at me :).

*in quarantine* me: leaves house government: aye u cant do that me: I am legally allowed to leave government: oh crap sorry u can leave

This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time. :D

13:19 "maybe I should leave out some little cubes of cheese out for my mouse traps" "cheese is NOT a mouse's favourite food" "..." "..." "... ok?"

If you hit the notifications button, you’re legally allowed to Greg