Exactly this...her letting the lie go on for so long only made the eventual reckoning all the more agonizing.

Agreed. Finding out when he did made the whole situation even more shattering than if he'd found out when is was going on.

exactly. LOL.

From psychological standpoint it is the best thing to do. *NEVER* VOLUNTARILY CONFESS CHEATING. You will ruin your partner 10 times more. (Never cheat in the first place)

@@DrAjASK What? Which is worse, voluntarily confessing to cheating, or lying for years only for your partner to find out from someone or something else? You're being utterly selfish and cruel if you don't voluntarily confess. Which, for cheaters, is not surprising...

4 years is not short term, and there’s the burn.

4 years isn't really short term

He still makes excuses for her. He deserves this, unless he is man enough to divorce her.

A convenient 4 years. It probably went on for much longer. I bet she even loved the other man. Probably lays awake at night mourning her lost love.

@@kevinsoehlig8374 No way is she losing sleep over the betrayal. She is certainly laying awake at night thinking about her dead love.

bro, this times a million. Ain't your child. This is just when the cuck clock started.

Oof

Hahaha

This is what I was thinking. You got the short end of the stick. Your life changed over a lie. She had her first child...you had yours...years later

Damn 🤣🤣

you can do it as early as 6 weeks of pregnancy from what i heard

I dont think mandatory, but the option should always be available and easy to get. If a guy wants to be a sucker and decline then let him.

@@Aaron-kj8dv for the sake of decency, it needs to be mandatory. if it's not then it just gives these hos the free reign to do as they like and society will suffer for it

@@Aaron-kj8dv should be because many countries state that if you sign the birth certificate even if deceived you must pay for the child until the end.

@@Aaron-kj8dv yes mandatory that way it takes your cheating partners option away to say no to it

All his life was based on a lie, HER lie. That cracked him. When you erase the past of a person, you'll get a completely different person. Males usually see their task to provide for wife and children. Suddenly he discovers that he had ne real wife and just one kid. That made all of his life and his marriage to be based on a lie. There is not much left to be rescued. I have lost my wife and kids for lies as well. No cheating. The family is alife and well, but it is not my family anymore. I was pushed off my track as well and I don't function as I did in the past. I need help to keep myself ok. I get it and I'm ok. But I'm a different person as well. And I will not move back - not mentally. For nobody. And as the guy sad himself - only I will decide MY destiny in the future.

Yeah, it literally made me sick to my stomach at her "you are my everything and blah blah" disgusting

Yup

Yep! and may have been going on longer.

@@mflax4331 I am glad to hear you sound strong. Please stay that way.

"My heart only ever belonged to you." *My vagina, on the other hand, was public property...* (hehe, or "pubic" property, amirite?)

@@ImNeurons "My hear only ever belonged to you" ; "My paycheck, on the other hand, belongs to the kids I had with my girlfriend...While married to you"

STOP 😭😂😂

LOL IKR! Far from it!

😂😂😂😂😂😂👍

@@richardromero6193 Dang, this is some serious detective work. If the AP's wife could corroborate, that would be helpful. So wife is mega AH, SIL is too, as are any other friends or family who knew and didn't raise a red flag.

@@richardromero6193it may not even be the guy that died that she had an affair with. He may just have been someone she conveniently put the blame on because he was now dead, so the husband can’t confront the real affair partner. The affair partner maybe someone or some multiple men that are very much still alive. I strongly believe this seeing how giddy she is texting him during his trip down madness trail.

she made a mistake every second she didn't tell him

​ @user-wr3vt8uq4s What did richard romero say? YT shadow realmed his comment.

@@theone8789 doubt it. they found half siblings remember. except if that guy wife cheated too with the same AP

and get pregnant, not once but TWICE. and then lie about the paternity for years.

Or when they go raw and burn their partner not with one STD but 2…

Agreed completely I'd bet money she even had doubts about the paternity her whole marriage it's insane. P.s holy shit you're beautiful

That's another level of disrespect. It's rubbing salt in the wound.

You are not looking at it like cheaters do. Cheating is about pure savage passion. THEY ARE NOT THINKING. If they had the wherewithal to think "I should use protection or else I will get (or make her) pregnant", then they could refrain from the cheating altogether. But when they get with the cheater, they get hit with a rush of pure 'feel good' hormones and forget to think. Then when they get back to real life with the bills and the kids and the jobs, THEY ARE THINKING. When they think, they decide that they want to go through real life with you, normally because you are more a trustworthy person than their affair partner.

That was my main thought too

Too bad she waited until she was barren......because I'd demand two more kids...bare minimum. Better make it 6.....since you know, we're 1 for 3 so far...

@@ChadDidNothingWrong not necessarily, there's people out there in their 60s and 70s that have had children. My grandmother was 56 when she got pregnant with my mom. She died when I was 22 at the age of 94. I'm not saying it would be easy but it's not impossible. That's why when I hear people talk about a fertility clock I laugh a little on the inside because if you look into it then you'll see in a way that it's a lie, not a full on lie but there are definitely exceptions.

Yep!

Seeing as how she has supposedly cried over guilt for it to her sister for decades. I kinda do think she did regret it.

Truly horrifiying.

Yep sadly, Now a destroyed man

That woman’s actions changed that poor man’s life forever. Everything he did since he was 19 depended on her happiness and well being. That’s why I hate cheaters. They just have a good time and don’t care about consequences. And also, four years is not a mistake. She is a horrible person who’s sad because she got caught.

My husband has a large family. 7 brothers and sisters. One of the girls took a DNA test and the results show she's only half related. Meaning her father isn't her father. My mother in law is in her 80s. So she isn't going to bring it up with her. But its crazy. This is a real thing.

That is sadly the most accurate description of what we all watched...

True, and well said.

Its worse than that, its theft and murder. You are stealing my attention, my money, my time and effort, all the while murdering that part of my life. Its crazy how infidelity, isn't punished severely like it should be.

I'm all for branding these people with a scarlet letter. And they can carry the shame for the rest of their lives, and people can know not to get into a relationship with them in the future

And let's make the cheating scumbags pay a financial fine too. If the "dad" paid anything for the baby? Mom pays it x2.

@@Dejusticed Facts, Paternity Fraud is an immoral crime that isn't punished accordingly enough. Robbing me of all my effort to continue MY family and bloodline? I'd have been livid, no way I'd have let her off this easy. I'd be irate.

Well Tennessee made it official

He just got a Golden Ticket, now go out and have some fun!

@Boa-Noah yikes he's gone already

The old save got corrupted

*Top 10 anime transformations*

Its a sad end

I agree. It gutted me for a whole week the first time I heard the story. I'm on the second listen and it hits the same.

I don't know why I listen to these. So depressing. Dude's going to off himself.

@@bryanr9082 for real I don’t know why I listen to these I always just feel sad by the end

@@bryanr9082 false. Listen again. He is nowdivorced and found another woman. You dont understandmale psychology

This one was just sad.

It's the mind that wants to hold on, not having processed it entirely. Mind tried to fool his hart and just move on. He just could not get his feelings straight and still could not process rationally what the implications are of his changed situation, so latched on to the first thing that made him feel good, the car. And the freedom it brings was a bonus, his mind could stop processing what happened, and distraction started. Notice how divorce or not is not even a thought in his mind. He ends the post with saying he is going to distract himself some more. Poor soul, his mind finally tricked his hart. Not by pretending nothing had happened. But by rationalizing how it is oke to stop caring and be selfish, learning how to get quick dopamine shots by going on little adventures. Think of it as a triggered midlife crisis, he is catching up for all the years he now feels has missed, experiencing the what could have been. Until he snaps in a couple years because his adventures just feel empty and he still has to deal with this trauma before he can move on. This is how psychoses can be triggered.

​@@rey024this feels like mental regression to me. He got married at 19, so now that his entire life up to that point was a lie, he is picking up where he left. There's also the fact that the people around him try to push him to not divorce her while calling what she did just a mistake and still do. His whole identity of being a hard working family man was destroyed so now he doesn't bother being like that (at least in relation to his wife since he still cares about his daughters). However, I think this was the better outcome considering he started with suicidal ideation. Even if it still hollow, at least he found a way to cope with it. Hopefully, one of the children gets him to individual therapy since everyone pushing him to couples' therapy just makes him more unlikely to try to get help.

​@@stefanspinu434She robbed him of everything.

He's one sick person that's for sure. Her mistakes were serious no doubt but for him to be so willing to toss it all away - SICK and stupid. The only negative about his thoughts of killing himself is that his family would have to deal with that for the rest of their lives AND it would NOT be the wife's fault regardless of what she did many years ago. As he mentioned -she never was certain that they weren't his biologically.

@@windy49 males and females react differently when it comes to betrayal. It is wife's fault. "i wasn't sure" is not an excuse.

@@windy49 Toss what away, his whole life has been based on a lie there's very little you could do to a man thats worse.

​@@windy49 You're a horrible person if you can justify the pure evil his wife committed. He was a good man for over 30 years. Prioritized his family above everything including himself, he did everything for them, he even stunted his own career for them. His wife destroyed him, broke him. His entire reality broke down. And that was so emotionally overwhelming that he couldn't handle it, he wanted an escape. Initially he thought about suicide, but in the end he luckily didn't. This is the damage the WIFE did , not him. He is now permanently emotionally distant from her because of her actions not his. What she did to him was something you wouldn't do to your worst enemy because its too cruel. But then again you must be a degenerate that see's men as a utility, their emotions have no important, the evils done to them do not matter.

@@windy49 you're a woman huh?

It’s very different for men then women. Depending on where he lives he could be on the hook for alimony. It is very rare that women have to pay that. And because of this it’s much easier for women to just pick up and leave. It’s made so easy that it essentially promotes women to leave their husbands even if there is no reason. This is why women initiate more divorces. I’m sure men and women want a divorce at similar rates, but men usually are trapped financially into marriages.

@@adamhero459 Ya, but when it comes to infidelity, men cheat more in the US while women are higher in % when it comes to repeat offending. I just googled spousal cheating rates. It varies from site to site. Idk about women initiating more divorces... Men just don't do it probably cause they're lazy, abusive, or just don't want that 'public shame'. I'm an asian male, so that might change input views.

@@Ghost1170 Adam is right, no fault states require alimony to be paid and traps men financially so would you initiate divorce? only way to do it is to get her to agree to annul it with certain stipulations like splitting possessions and bank accounts only and not alimony, otherwise default is alimony, and that would be terrible.

If its even 4 years.... The only reason he even found out is because of the DNA test. She could have easily told him it was 4 when it was like 10... Who knows.... There is probably a chance that she cheated on him more than once

@@Ghost1170 " Ya, but when it comes to infidelity, men cheat more in the US while women are higher in % when it comes to repeat offending." Do you think a Bayesian inference is a safe and reliable way to collect data with any high level of confidence? Especially on one that relies upon self reporting and honesty?

I seriously expected this to end with a suicide. Hope OP kicks the horrible person to the curb and makes his life what he wants it.

agree 100%

Sometimes reality is scarier than fiction....

@@Illumiae I was more thinking murder/suicide lol

@@TheyCallHimTheTops I didn't get a vibe that this man would hurt anyone other than himself. I fully expected him to purposefully crash his car when he was going near 200km/h

Thank you. I don't have to listen to this to find out the ending.

Absolutely

This is literally the definition of men going there own way

@@kumokundomo9705 You probably should watch though, because it changes the context. He's a broken man now, and has barely begun to rebuild himself.

I thought it was the same person the whole time wow

@Brighton nah. I dont think so. If he probably had a funeral and shit. You cant actually fake something like this

@Brighton I dunno dude. I dont think she has any reason to lie at this point

@Brighton yeah but more than 2 decades has passed

If he is dead, that is easily confirmed via public record. What is not easy to resolve it the damage the cheating partner has inflicted on so many innocent lives. And, no, I do not believe she is remorseful for the affair - just like every other cheater, they are worried about the trouble it will cause them. She lied to a man that loved her and was good to her. She lied to her children who can now never trust her words. and then she lied to everyone she knew about the false life she has constructed. This is a truly sad situation for everyone involved, there are no winners - only hurt.

Yeah I said that too ,she’s probably giving basic information only. And making it seem like a sex only thing. Also making it seem like they never considered leaving with him not once. A four year affair definitely had some emotional content, it’s almost impossible not too. I also can’t get over the fact that she just sat there on fathers days, Christmas and birthdays (also things like daddy daughter days etc) and just never cracked or felt guilty enough to say anything. Also the fact her family knew and she said “she’s gutted because she was going to take it to the grave” and was devastated that the lies came out. And she (and her family) has been guilt tripping him, gaslighting and doing the classic excuses/explanations (like if I could go back in time or I was very young then and was spoilt) But apparently you aren’t now, but still kept up the lies for literally a big majority of the marriage without breaking (that is a big red flag, anyone who can do this without the guilt making them break is only thinking of themselves) I thought he let the wife come back way too quick in the first place as he needed to process it without anyone guilt tripping him. I also thought that it’s convenient that person is now dead and can’t give no information or say she’s telling the truth. I pretty much knew that once he got through the grieving process that he might feel different and I’m glad he is slowly feeling much better and wanting to do what’s right for him too. He sounds like he is slowly backing off from the marriage now and wanting to live life to the fullest instead of feeling like he didn’t want to live, which is great to hear. I think this was too many lies for too long for him to forgive and forget. I was happier for him when he updated to say he was breaking away now, as it’s very very hard to forgive such a huge betrayal and it probably would up ended up eating away at him to be honest. I think he does need the clean break from the home, work and wife to be able to live a happier life now.

Exactly, evil! Calculating evil.

Option 1 seems easier but in reality the guilt of an affair for 30 years would tear someone to shreds. However option 2 was what should have happened, as a matter of fact option 3 should have happened. 3. Don't drop your panties for the neighbors lol.

@@mistrsynistr7644 Dude, you are assuming such a woman has a conscience... Ask yourself this... The had a daughter of 29 and a daughter of 26 years of age, and she comes out to the table to reveal that she had an affair that lasted for 4 years... does that mean, if the son at 22 years of age had been found out......would the affair have lasted for 8 years?

@@Vradica 100% that other guy dropped loads into her until the day his cancer wouldn't let him. You don't just stop something like that after 4 years. This dude just got lucky the son was his.

She said it was 4 years. The children prove that it was "at least" four years.

And today its not all about ME ME ME. When we live in the age of FB, TikTok and Tinder. It's only gotten worse.

Right today it's all about love and peace. Not Divorce Rates skyrocketing and people being able to communicate all over the world but being lonelier than ever right?

today is no different, except, we don't try and hide behind some virtue

The only positive think about "now" is .... most cheaters are total idiots.. thru that and all the new technology a lot more of the cheating gets detected.

Cheaters have a cognitive dissonance to justify their cheating. They’re borderline mentally ill and have fragile self esteem. They can never love, they do it because they are only looking out for number one and it’s their self serving self entitled ego that they put first more than anything else. These people are never in love, just infatuated with conditions and situations. That’s as deep as it gets

According to the studies done by Helen Fisher, the brain has 3 separate compartment for lust, passionate (romantic) and Companionate love. For lust, this is easy to control unless alcohol is involve. Admit it, everyone feel lust to stray but the part of brain regulating Companionate love over ride it. Passionate love is a strong attraction combined with affection. This usually appears during the beginning of relationship or affair. This lasted for 4 years. Without strong Companionate love, an individual is more likely to stray. Infact after 4 years, Infidelity and divorce rate suddenly spikes. The person experiences limerance. Limerance is a dream like state in which the person falls in love to the idea. Limerance prevents you from thinking rationally Companionate love is the deep feeling of affection combined with commitment. Unlike passionate love, this is stable and limerance is already gone. Passionate love and Companionate love can coexist so she might be telling the truth that she loves him.

@marynorth They cheat because they don't love their SO. They also don't love their AP. The only person they love is themselves, which is how they can cheat so easily.

It's more about self-control. Someone can love you with all their heart, but if they don't have self-control whenever temptation comes knocking they won't turn it down.

she does love you. and chad. and tyrone. and billy. and that guy she met at the grocery store. "she's not yours, its just your turn". you just didnt expect that to be a day to day thing.

Exactly, 4 years is longer than a lot of peoples marriages. She had 2 kids from that other guy too. You reap what you sow.

4 years and two children. She had a pregnancy, gave birth, and did it again, until she got pregnant again..

Why in these stories does everyone tell the person who bern cheated on to forgive&forget like wth

@@kingturtle24k81 because its reddit - a site for simps, feminists and other leftards. Just a pathetic bunch of circlejerk idiots.

@@kingturtle24k81 Reddit is notorious for being filled with Simps. They don't like it when women are cast in a negative light

@Blue Douche Mark No, he doesn't anymore. He just shred it all off when he lost the ability to care for her, remember? To me it's the same as he's indifferent & unfeeling for her anymore & her words are meaningless. He sees her for who she is, just as he sees his career for what it is. His marriage life is all a lie. She managed to manipulate him all those times too, & by proxy, people who care about them both. Look at how they side with her. She's a natural manipulator.

@Blue Douche Mark No, at first, as in one of the earlier updates. Newer updates he had clearly changed yet again, into someone with zero fucks given.

They all for the streets!!!

I cheated on a girl in hi school I really felt bad about that. I never cheated again after that. I'm 39 years old now.

Wrong. He learned who she was when she was still very young and spoiled. Judging someone well into their years by the mistakes they made decades prior in their youth is wrong and childish.

Yep...Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

Deep.

That's very interesting sounds plausible

You make awful lot of sense here. His brain mostly destroyed whatever ties he had to his old self. Viola ! A brand new person

i actually read the same type of story, but it was posted by the cheating wife as it was advised by her therapist because her husband committed suicide after they got DNA results and finding out all 4 of his daughters weren't his, he took off immediately and went no contact for 3 days, soon after the granda(husbands father) at their family fishing cabin, he hanged himself. tragic

yeah he died.....probably kept up friends all these years. hubby had no clue ,or refused to see the red flags. At least he`s having some fun now. at 50 I felt the same way,no cares ,no future ,no job care. just took off one day ,and had some fun out of state...just had to burn off some anger I had.....felt like the walls were closing in around me. felt good to get away,for a short time.....came back with a fuckyou ,i don`t care attitude,still do at 68 ......kids are grown up ,grandkids ,etc. single still since 1980.......whole world goes to hell? who cares.....not me.

she probably just got dumped

She had that 2nd kid. That's what happened probably.

@@stonemason848 uncle, you have my respect

Probably the guy discovered his cancer or something and that wised both of them

Damn ! Did he not think it through? 😂 ... she already cheated.

That made me laugh.

I dont understant. Someone explain.

@@demianc6170 Their "first child" wasn't.

@@demianc6170 first two kids aren't his. so she was lying through her teeth when she said being a mother was a pressure cause she didn't seem to have any issues dumping her lovers kids on OP

Paternity sure but maternity...? Sir, do you know how giving birth works? /hj

@@connorhearts4776 I was bouta say 😂😂

Paternity tests are misogynistic

@@infinitymixtapes9562 i think the reason for maternity test part is due to potential switches at birth, it is apparently more common than some think, hell i've heard of "cheating" stories where it turns out that "whoops, we got the wrong baby"

they broke up because she got 2 of his kids. now she could focus on the marriage to raise them. she wanted the AP's kids and the security that her husband provided. alpha fucks beta bucks. best of both worlds. total sociopath.

@@delmanpronto9374 devil in the flesh

Come on, now; She KNEW they weren't his! It's one thing to cheat, it's something completely different to do it while ovulating! Imagine trying to reconcile with someone that finally gave him the "privilege" of getting her pregnant...AFTER raising another mans "mistake(s)"...? Poor guy gave his whole life for the runner up prize on Jeopardy!

4 year affair with NO PROTECTION what was she thinking.

what was he thinking

Damn right !!! She’s trying to chalk this up to being young, stupid and entitled ! Bullshit ! She was methodical in how she carried out that affair. She got knocked up from the guy she had the affair with and then made her Husband believe that those two kids were his. OUCH !!! That poor Husband is in a world of hurt.

@@8ball222 he deserved better.

I think he’s on the path of that last line “reinventing himself” and shaking that codependency too by just saying “fuck it” to a lot of things, I.e being out of dress code at a high prestigious firm, buying that badass car and just “go”ing, talking to pretty women, meeting some funny ass people, e.t.c. Now it just all takes time and what he’ll doing from here, will be interesting to see. He’s a special case to watch out for and honestly makes me want to register on Reddit to keep track of him

@@smsdamiracle He's basically living the life that he knew he could've had or the life that he sacrificed for what turned out to be a pure lie and illusion... It's sad in a way but also good to see the guy just do what he wants

The truly disgusting part is that she allowed him to think those kids were his. Unforgivable.

wilson junior I'm your girl for life and also every other mans love toy,,,

I would have served her divorce papers destroyed the homewreckers grave and like with this guy did take my own life but not before taking her with me

Exactly!

The best thing him is to make a clean break from her. He is still fairly young. I am just glad that he is now out of the suicidal mode. Also glad that he went on that spontaneous random trip out of state. As for her being good mother, naturally, after being pregnant TWICE from her affair partner. If her 2 daughters would have been sick, she would be forced to reveal her deliances in case of medical history to manage an illness. The audacity also to demand everyone had to bend over when she told them to give her 2 hours. Anyhow, I'm happy for him that he's become a new man for the better. He needs new woman because clearly he's great man.

A mistake that lasted 4 years.....lol She just wanted to make sure it is really a mistake, so she have to keep it going to be sure.....

Yeah my man's here is salt and pepper and loaded hell he will do much much better

And didn't she text everyone after locking herself in that she wanted two hours? How does someone in a panic state know they need two hours? I would have said: "fine take all the time you need in there, but hand me your phone right now."

@ Emily May, I 💯% agree with you! She was _definitely_ coming up with a nice little sob story. I'd have taken the door off the hinges and MADE her talk to me. She doesn't get the luxury of "preparing". There really needs to be laws against things like paternity fraud. Her deceit has _destroyed_ not only her husband, but also 2 out of 3 of their kids! This wasn't some "mistake"...she had a full blown relationship with this man, enough to father 2 kids from him over the course of 4 years! Cheating is never a "mistake"...it is a _CONSCIOUS DECISION_ . Cheating is a CHOICE. At least the kids are all adults, so OP at least won't be on the hook for child support, but sadly, being that they were married for so long, he will _definitely_ be on the hook for some type of spousal support. I absolutely _DESPISE_ cheaters!

"you will find someone who really loves you" nah I think he’s done because of this shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if he really killed himself or went monk mode

@@Rose_Bride He already paid the child support over all those years...

Damn, that hurt. Like how you gonna just go and say that😩😔😭

Big OOF

Brutal

Interpretation. She never regreted having him as a father of the girls that she had with another dude.

Correction. She never regretted tricking him into paying for another guy's 2 kids.

@Heyward Shepherd Vegas here. Thank you for the LOL/snort! 😷

100% It was a self centered choice. A friend who went through something like it said it best . Its like putting back together a gig saw puzzle that was dropped and a few pieces became missing.

4 years, 2 kids and would go to her grave. Monetarily $400K for two kids PLUS college. Professionally - job to pay the bill for an illusion of a wife, and someone else's kids, Morally - WTF, wife is complete bankrupt. Extended reach- you, your kid, her kids, her, the biological father, wife and his children, both sets of grandparents and workplace, as well as friends who knew. No good measure of the full extent. No you fault nor your problem, Save or go, make her a roommate. No wrong answer except suicide.

@@rgallen5952 The last few minutes go deep. He was trapped in a never ending nightmare of a job. He could not do what he wanted, because he was the earner for the family and he lived only for the family! No promotion because family, no longer hours nothing. With a few promotions and raises he could be retired by know (he seems to have a good paying job), but he suffered threw because family! That all got ripped apart by the cheating wife, his whole life could be different. Maybe a life in California would be possible without two of the three children? Never had a nice car, because family! Never met new people, because family! The whole story is just sad and I am glad that he did not end it all!

Big finesse

And all the years lying about being faithful....she also must have known those children had high chances being APs

Yeah I agree. Imagine youself in this situation; just built around your family loving them taking care of them and then you realize that they were just... not yours (or at one point they weren't) I feel for this guy. I'm for sure what he went through when he discovered the truth

I don't see it as a big crash. I see him rebuilding his world around him, figuring out his new self, new interests, new future.

Exactly

I still say murder suicide is the best option I will even throw in the children as a bonus

I think him taking off from his job in his new car and running for California was his "crash". And instead of staying he came back. Everything after is his bounce back. The man is finally living for himself after 33 years. He's going to be fine.

Because someone has to support her, and they sure as shit don't want that burden.

Could you imagine if someone told a woman who was rapped it happened a long time ago? That she should just forgive her rapist because it happened 25 years ago (Bill Cosby)?

@@MillionaireCatFights He has been proven innocent right? He was just accused then dog piled on by the media and everyone else.

Exactly. It may have happened 30 years ago, but to him it was yesterday. I say leave the wife, go away and enjoy the hell out of the rest of your life. That guy in the bar had the best advice; lots of beer, lots of pussy. Cure for everything.

@Zoe McCallum That's the thing. By her having the affair and children that are not the husbands AND NOT TELLING HIM, she denied him consent. Had he found out about the affair the day it ended, that marriage would have been toast and the child support would have been moved to the Affair Partner (AP) - and the son that came later that was actually his would have never happened. Reverse the gender roles (and somehow have 2 kids she thinks are hers that aren't) and the man would be getting reamed a new one, the woman told to dump his ___. His whole life, the purpose for which he slaved to create, is a lie. That shatters a person. All his reactions and actions are a normal response to his reality being upended. It's like Neo first waking up outside the Matrix - it takes some work to reorient oneself. The good news is, he's well on his way, and he has gained a new level of control and freedom in his life.

But if he has never found out it would’ve been cool. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong or anything. It’s just so fucked.

@@wikiwoof9590 what's more fucked is the Sister in law supposedly knew about it

@@higgins3227 her I would absolutely never forgive.

@@wikiwoof9590 it's destroy the children too especially if one or both of the parents are dead and they can't get closure, I have seen this type of history of paternity fraud from the point of view of the kids. Never feed this type of lie, decades are a long long time to keep a lie alive without it biting you back.

Well, they are not victims until they KNOW the truth... which... no longer makes them ignorant? So, you're wrong. Ignorance IS bliss.

Yeah, honestly, while I of course feel for this man, statements like that are so silly, when she LIED to him for 33 years, and would take that lie with her to her grave, if it wasn't found out.. how "honorable".

If she was a cheater before. Whose to say she’s not still cheating? That’s the problem with cheating. It breaks the most important part about a relationship. Trust.

@@rageraptor7127 ...and her soul.

@@alexanderoquendo243 ehh she never had one to begin with

@@rageraptor7127 It doesn't matter if she is still cheating or not... What we know she has done, is so vile and damaging, that it literally makes all present actions moot.

Exactly. The flight/fight mechanism took over. He left the situation that was a sudden shock. Then his mind reconfigured itself to keep him operating normal. That's why he said he lost the old him and can't find it.

The worst is not knowing who the father was of the kids. It was just his turn for the last 30 years.

'.. but other than that, your girl for life.'

I bet she has other affairs too, so not just 4 years.

Especially two

@@NeoLotex dude there are worse cases in that topic. Still shitty

He even said so himself, man this is terrifying. Behind the so called Great word he says, every bit of it is.. Detached. I don't know I maybe wrong but I want to be.

@@jadeimingan184 I'm looking at it positively - Rebirth. They might not get a divorce but mentally he's already checked out. Probably going to treat the wife like a roommate.

I think OP should delete the unsolicited advice ppl

He doesn’t. But he does know his true identity is a person of his word, and integrity. He’ll find that missing person.

How do you make a mistake for 4 years? But to each their own.

@@michaelmorris8302 Affairs aren't mistakes. They're homewrecker plots until someone gets caught. But, one thing that is for certain- and any single man would know this- is that there is always another itchy wife looking for a quick fling after the previous affair goes downhill. None of us cares about the consequences because those aren't our consequences to bear, but the married half. It is what it is.

I know is such cases where KNOWINGLY women have bluffed the man they are married to to.raise other mens children.

That's why, emotionally, she's dead as far as he's concerned. Not a care in the world anymore.

Not to mention the man had thought he was passing down his genes to 3 children, but now it’s only 1. He wanted all his time and effort with a family that was an illusion

My coworker's dad had an entire family with another woman... his mom forgave him, but according to him, she would wake up randomly and start beating on his dad. You can never really forgive and forget like people who have never dealt with this type of betrayal goes through.

It seems she was more faithful to her AP, who actually did have all the facts.....and the pussy. What a shame.

Ruin it Horse Shit. She Ruined it.

LOLOLOL

im sorry he accepts this

I just hope he treats his kids the same after this

@@sytzedantuma3431 He hasn't accepted it. He is just living in the same house now and doing whatever he wants.

@Ivaiyo Ivanov Brainwashed with what?

He created a NEW identity where HE comes first, for once in his life. He sounds like a man who finally can move on on HIS term not hers. He literally spent 33 years bending over backwards to protect, and provide for a family and life that was based on a LIE. THREE DECADES of being deceived by the one person who claims to “Love” him. Giving up promotions for his FAMILY. Sacrificing for his FAMILY. Only to learn she committed Paternity Fraud.

😭😭😭thats a degree😭😭😭😭noooooo

Yup. If that was "just a 1-time thing" Senerio #1: It's true = she's willing to take it to her grave decieving her husband Scenario #2: Its a *LIE* = she's a run on the mills 304... NOT A "LOVING WIFE".. just a con artist.

4 years this is one year longer than a Collage in Germany goes

Agreed

Hell it may have been a doctorate who knows she may have been cheating for more of those years before the marriage.

Based on what he wrote he deserves this. Weak. Divorce move on.

29 years of lies (the oldest daughter’s age)

@@edwardcoit9748 how did he deserve it?

Vox Deus No not immune but he is weak. If my wife did this I would file for divorce immediately. No questions. He did a no longer a victim. If he stays with her he is being an accessory after the fact.

The affair probably only ended when the dude got sick with cancer. I dont buy her "I realised it was a mistake" bs. The two daughters are 4 years apart but the affair was probably significantly longer.

He was young too and didn't fuck his neighbour for 4 years.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Hope he's living his best life. Personally, I'd have bounced within weeks, bought a bachelor pad and live hard af!

Reminds me of Walter White, Post Skyler & Ted Beneke

He has been emotionally surviving off of his family, and this was cut off suddenly. It's unlikely that he will survive very long like this :(

The kids did nothing to you, being dead is another thing altogether. Dead is not for anyone to do on purpose Ever!

@@wardkeith8385 The kids did do something. They exist and are not his. They are taking his money under the pretense of him being a dad, he is not. And despite what they say, they go over to the other family and play nice and brother and sister, so they cannot think of him as their actual father.

Yeah this story was a lot. The parents really need some major therapy. The dad's way to deal with the issues is decide on suicide and keep suggesting it in the post. Ugh! Something doesn't seem right too me😒😐

@@geniseguy5771 He said his whole life was he wife and kids, and now he doesn't have that life. That seems about right to have the suicidal thinking, which passed as time went on. He now has the healthier reaction of doing his own thing, which he never considered in the last 33 years.

his wife realy has triggered a full on midlife crisis. sad story - hope he will find a way to deal with all of this...

@Ghettobible He literally took a vacation from his problems. His Wife is the problem!

@@geniseguy5771 its was still in is mind even if not at the front

2 hours to compose herself because it brought back all the memories of the AP who she clearly loved far more than her husband based on the level of risk she took.

I mean sorry but family over others. While I don't condone the sisters actions of keeping the secret but at least she was trying to stop her. If my brother did this I would keep his secret. I get that it is morally wrong to some people but for my morals, my family is the most important and no matter what my husband's wife isn't my family (joke, unless those Alabama banjos ring) and I was taught no matter what, no matter the crime I protect my brother.

@@aaronmontgomery2055 You will allow someone to live a lie for over 30 years, damn and thought I was cold blooded.

@@TheFirstFTW family first. If my sister did that, I would keep my mouth damn shut. I don't give a crap about morality regarding people outside of my family. If it keeps my loved ones safe, you bet I will cut a few throats. Cheating is not OK, and i wouldn't pat her on the back for it, but i also would NEVER tell her husband that.

@@LittleMegaNeko 😨🤢🤮

They probably think he should just get over it bc he's "too old" to find love and new purpose in his life. bullshit, I'm so happy for this man for just saying fuck it all and travel around, meets new people, does what he truly wants to do. I hope he opens that bar he mentioned. He deserves a new, better life.

I would physically hurt anybody who says that to fix their brains

It's not about "just forgiving them", but if this was my friend, I would tell them to at least try and forgive their partner for their own sake. If he would have been able to forgive his wife, he probably would have been much happier. He couldn't and that's perfectly fine, it's not his fault after all, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have tried. What has happened has happened and you are free to chose whatever makes you happy, and if that means forgiving - good for you.

@@Skyliav what the friends and family are saying is that he should forgive her and act as if nothing happened. To still treat her the same and continue as a normal family. They even go as far as to say that she was a good mother and a wife. Ridiculous. If is about forgiveness for your own sake thats okay. No reason to hate or resent her. But do not treat her as a wife anymore, and in all honesty he should divorce her and not have to deal with her again.

In their defense, it may be that they are worried for his mental health and truly think she has reformed, and that she may be what he needs to stay stable after such a life-rocking discovery - but I would still at least preface me giving that advice with "you have every right to be pissed and never forgive her, and move on from her, you have faced a betrayal at the level of which few will ever experience." Or it could be that they pity the wife in the same way, but I should hope that they would prioritize the victim over the victimized here.

WOKE UP AND CHOSE TO SPEAK FACTS

Love and selfshiness sometimes go one by the side of each other. Not saying that what the wife really feels is love or anything, but sometimes (And mostly it comes down to how individual people decide to face problems) being selfish and taking something to "the grave" is actually a way of love, by not wanting to hurt the person you care. Again, not saying this is the case, but, if she was really haunted all those years by it and still decided to shut it up, maybe it could be that she actually came to terms with her past and mistakes, matured and became a better person, what would be the point to possibly ruin the life of someone you love IF you already overcame your past, became a better a person, AND that your feelings towards your partner (Or whatever) is actually genuine? Just for the sake of "letting him know the truth"? To be fair, if all these conditions are met, telling them just so you feel "better" about yourself cause now you dont have to be haunted by your past mistakes and you dont have to carry that kind of cross on your back everyday to your last breath, only to ruin your partners life and share the charge with them, to me, that is actually the most selfish, and not loving action at all. Once again, i know most if not all cases are like this, but i only think that being selfish can be a prove of geniune love if everything that i said is that way. We all make mistakes, whether because stupidity, inmaturity, whatever. Ill probably wouldnt be able to overcome all of this as op did, but that doesnt mean that because she was willing to take it to the grave that she was being lying, or didnt love him at all. As op said, they didnt even had great incomes, they werent rich, not even up normal, i dont think i see a reason that she is "afraid" of losing benefits of staying with him. Could there be other things, thats for sure, maybe the fear to be left alone? Could be possible, i dont know, you dont know, anyone knows. Point is, being selfish, at least for some kind of people (Im included, so maybe this is only my way of seeing and approaching the life, and maybe it is not the right path im taking) is a way for people to overcome mistakes and bad thoughts or actions, and also a way (By carrying with all the trauma once you acknowledge it, instead of sharing it) it is a proof, or rather an action of genuine love.

@@ignacioariellopez8491 All this text to spout total bullshit. I'm impressed.

@@laststrike4411 How is it total bullshit? Explain, i dont really see wheres the "bullshit" you are saying.

Amen

Yes. She was heartless for all 33 years.

If the father of two of her children was still alive she would most likely be different. She is nasty piece of work.

Right. Also because she understands that there is a high probability that she will die alone. Much harder to bounce back at this point.

Yeah and you KNOW this how???

@@windy49 because she's never shown true remorse the entirety of the marriage, only after the evidence is clear and she is already caught. remorseful people aren't happy people. she was a happy wife for decades.

Let’s not forget, his own mother took the secret of his paternal father to her grave. Then his wife was going’s to do the same thing with her daughters. If not for the DNA test they would never have known. Both women who had the greatest influence in his life were absolutely evil.

The kids aren't his either.

@@SomeBlackDude26 They're probably never going to look at him the same way they did before all this came to light. She destroyed everything and no matter his high intentions I don't see a happy ending to this.

@@8House They won't see him the same. They'll always want to know who their real father is and they'll pity him for raising them. Nothing will ever be the same. The relationships are totally destroyed.

The son IS both of theirs.

@@logalogalog Yeah, I guess the son is getting the whole lot of the property from OP. The son can actually claim all the property since he is the actual child of OP. The daughters, on the other hand, shouldn't even dare to ask for anything from OP.

This was not a ''mistake'' this was 4 years of bad DECISIONS She had full agency

@@JIX9ISLER1986 true. But “mistake” is a subjective term. It meant your bad decisions will find you.

The saying is "Be sure your sin will find you out."

@Jose Diaz disgusting

"Mistake" is a one night stand with someone else and then confessing about it to the SO a short while later (unforgivable. Let the heads roll) This? Ohhh.... The nerve to even fucking breathe... And some even wonder why marriage had lost it's meaning.

Not really, if you think about the situation; Might as well go wild; Not like she wont be able to find another sucker to raise them!

I don't see it as a crisis. It looks like he has given a second chance at life and he's not missing out on anything for anyone, this time. He mentioned in his post that he turned down promotions and better payment bc he wanted to be a father first and foremost, so he never really lived up to his potential. Now he doesn't have to worry about all these things.

He got ra-

-ped in a way that only a woman can do to a man's entire existence.

Midlife crisis comes naturally, it’s a psychological and biological thing. This is intentional stimulus and the man have been given a chance to really think about who the hell he is. Marriage blindsighted him

Hoes is hoes is hoes man.

i suspect it never ended until ap died, and op was lucky that he had a son. everything else was a lie to diminish the truth that op was the backup guy- he gave her the stability to have an affair. it took her 2hrs in the toilet to figure out what she could justify. and she was being calm at the end hoping that he would stay and continue supporting her.

At last 20-30% of all kids are not from the married partner... we see on tv allways that sneaky evil guy, betraying his good and nice wife. But - in reality for every son of a bitch there is a whore who did it with him. That wife had been done. If she would have had an affair, gets pregnant (but is ignorant), fine. But to cheat 4 years, get two kids from the other guy and claim not to know it - kick that whore out. She ruined everything. Still - his behaviour later on is plain shit. If he has nothing left for the whore, fine. End it. But to use her - makes him as bad as she is.

Not to mention the implication of her having repeated unprotected sex with that man while also with her husband. There’s being selfish and there’s being blatantly irresponsible with your partner’s health

I am surprised she didn’t tell him that she cheated only 2 times ever and both times got pregnant.

@@borisgetman9222 I feel like people forget details, she didn't know the kids were not her husband, and she was very spoiled when young, of course this does not make her actions right, but it explains them. She did seem like a nice mother/wife later in life, but I feel like people paint her like a crazy bitch. She can't fix things just accept the consequences and move forward, or end herself.

@@GoldenLeafsMovies She didn't know for sure either. And apparently, for her, that was A-Okay.

@@laststrike4411 Yeah, she just kept everything to herself and hoped to be a better wife/mother. Sadly she'll just have to accept the consequences of her actions.

Golden-Leaf- That’s just it. She wasn’t going to accept the consequences because she was actually not repenting for what she did. She only confessed after the DNA test revealed the truth. She was going to take the truth to the grave. That’s not a remorseful person. THAT is what a LIAR does. She let him raise two children that weren’t his. She got to have her cake and eat it too, for 33 years.