[NeedSupport] New to this sub - absolutely devastated and completely lost RELATIONSHIP ADVICE CO.AG Music : • Peaceful Ambient Backg... For the background music #Cheating #SurvivingInfidelity #DNATest
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@NaohMkS3 жыл бұрын
What kills me is that the wife acted like taking the secret to the grave was a noble thing to do. If all this came out years sooner we wouldn't be reading a defeated senior trying to rationalize his entire life and instead it would be a young adult deciding to cut his losses and move on to greener pastures. I feel for this man
@misterb35773 жыл бұрын
Exactly this...her letting the lie go on for so long only made the eventual reckoning all the more agonizing.
@chrishansen71043 жыл бұрын
Agreed. Finding out when he did made the whole situation even more shattering than if he'd found out when is was going on.
@tezesquire52643 жыл бұрын
exactly. LOL.
@DrAjASK3 жыл бұрын
From psychological standpoint it is the best thing to do. *NEVER* VOLUNTARILY CONFESS CHEATING. You will ruin your partner 10 times more. (Never cheat in the first place)
@misterb35773 жыл бұрын
@@DrAjASK What? Which is worse, voluntarily confessing to cheating, or lying for years only for your partner to find out from someone or something else? You're being utterly selfish and cruel if you don't voluntarily confess. Which, for cheaters, is not surprising...
@neronihil17103 жыл бұрын
4 years of continuous betrayal and multiple pregnancies are not a simple foolish mistake but a clear-cut decision to disrespect and destroy a good man, for short term pleasure.
@pauldwalker3 жыл бұрын
4 years is not short term, and there’s the burn.
@WeaponXSigma3 жыл бұрын
4 years isn't really short term
@edwardcoit97483 жыл бұрын
He still makes excuses for her. He deserves this, unless he is man enough to divorce her.
@kevinsoehlig83743 жыл бұрын
A convenient 4 years. It probably went on for much longer. I bet she even loved the other man. Probably lays awake at night mourning her lost love.
@superchuck32593 жыл бұрын
@@kevinsoehlig8374 No way is she losing sleep over the betrayal. She is certainly laying awake at night thinking about her dead love.
@davidmason57193 жыл бұрын
“We had our first child at 21” No sir, she had her first child at 21.
@laneallen36912 жыл бұрын
bro, this times a million. Ain't your child. This is just when the cuck clock started.
@DrFunkman2 жыл бұрын
Oof
@Dessyman182 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@savage19712 жыл бұрын
This is what I was thinking. You got the short end of the stick. Your life changed over a lie. She had her first child...you had yours...years later
@KamalG92 жыл бұрын
Damn 🤣🤣
@cobboGHS913 жыл бұрын
This is why DNA testing should be mandatory at birth.
@HelenA-vz5wy2 жыл бұрын
you can do it as early as 6 weeks of pregnancy from what i heard
@Aaron-kj8dv2 жыл бұрын
I dont think mandatory, but the option should always be available and easy to get. If a guy wants to be a sucker and decline then let him.
@HelenA-vz5wy2 жыл бұрын
@@Aaron-kj8dv for the sake of decency, it needs to be mandatory. if it's not then it just gives these hos the free reign to do as they like and society will suffer for it
@ihavenonameforyou12 жыл бұрын
@@Aaron-kj8dv should be because many countries state that if you sign the birth certificate even if deceived you must pay for the child until the end.
@taraishot1002 жыл бұрын
@@Aaron-kj8dv yes mandatory that way it takes your cheating partners option away to say no to it
@TheOscarsolis893 жыл бұрын
4 year affair is not a mistake. That’s a whole different life
@mflax43313 жыл бұрын
All his life was based on a lie, HER lie. That cracked him. When you erase the past of a person, you'll get a completely different person. Males usually see their task to provide for wife and children. Suddenly he discovers that he had ne real wife and just one kid. That made all of his life and his marriage to be based on a lie. There is not much left to be rescued. I have lost my wife and kids for lies as well. No cheating. The family is alife and well, but it is not my family anymore. I was pushed off my track as well and I don't function as I did in the past. I need help to keep myself ok. I get it and I'm ok. But I'm a different person as well. And I will not move back - not mentally. For nobody. And as the guy sad himself - only I will decide MY destiny in the future.
@rickp89383 жыл бұрын
Yeah, it literally made me sick to my stomach at her "you are my everything and blah blah" disgusting
@BusArch423 жыл бұрын
Yup
@winniethepoohandeeyore23 жыл бұрын
Yep! and may have been going on longer.
@BusArch423 жыл бұрын
@@mflax4331 I am glad to hear you sound strong. Please stay that way.
@vladimer43293 жыл бұрын
"My heart only ever belonged to you." That's not the body part that's the problem.
@ImNeurons3 жыл бұрын
"My heart only ever belonged to you." *My vagina, on the other hand, was public property...* (hehe, or "pubic" property, amirite?)
@brentfarvors1923 жыл бұрын
@@ImNeurons "My hear only ever belonged to you" ; "My paycheck, on the other hand, belongs to the kids I had with my girlfriend...While married to you"
@aliceesperanza3 жыл бұрын
STOP 😭😂😂
@winniethepoohandeeyore23 жыл бұрын
LOL IKR! Far from it!
@eddieguerrero66033 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂👍
@anonymus8472 жыл бұрын
"A mistake" would be just once and then never again. 4 years, 2 daugthers and keeping the secret to the grave? That's a whole second life
@user-wr3vt8uq4s Жыл бұрын
@@richardromero6193 Dang, this is some serious detective work. If the AP's wife could corroborate, that would be helpful. So wife is mega AH, SIL is too, as are any other friends or family who knew and didn't raise a red flag.
@theone878911 ай бұрын
@@richardromero6193it may not even be the guy that died that she had an affair with. He may just have been someone she conveniently put the blame on because he was now dead, so the husband can’t confront the real affair partner. The affair partner maybe someone or some multiple men that are very much still alive. I strongly believe this seeing how giddy she is texting him during his trip down madness trail.
@giovannigonzalez634911 ай бұрын
she made a mistake every second she didn't tell him
@Billy-bc8pk9 ай бұрын
@user-wr3vt8uq4s What did richard romero say? YT shadow realmed his comment.
@heartmint73642 ай бұрын
@@theone8789 doubt it. they found half siblings remember. except if that guy wife cheated too with the same AP
@katfig89263 жыл бұрын
It’s disgusting to cheat. You know what is the icing on the nasty cake of infidelity? Going RAW. How are you going to cheat on your spouse and not use protection?! For me it means you have zero respect for the person you cheated on. You may even have a hatred for them. 4 years is not a mistake. She’s disgusting physically and mentally to let some guy go raw in her while her husband does too for YEARS. NASTY.
@SergioKoolhaas2 жыл бұрын
and get pregnant, not once but TWICE. and then lie about the paternity for years.
@nikkolomakaveli82952 жыл бұрын
Or when they go raw and burn their partner not with one STD but 2…
@jonathancasais64912 жыл бұрын
Agreed completely I'd bet money she even had doubts about the paternity her whole marriage it's insane. P.s holy shit you're beautiful
@rosihantu12 жыл бұрын
That's another level of disrespect. It's rubbing salt in the wound.
@darriuscole85442 жыл бұрын
You are not looking at it like cheaters do. Cheating is about pure savage passion. THEY ARE NOT THINKING. If they had the wherewithal to think "I should use protection or else I will get (or make her) pregnant", then they could refrain from the cheating altogether. But when they get with the cheater, they get hit with a rush of pure 'feel good' hormones and forget to think. Then when they get back to real life with the bills and the kids and the jobs, THEY ARE THINKING. When they think, they decide that they want to go through real life with you, normally because you are more a trustworthy person than their affair partner.
@RylieCollins3 жыл бұрын
The fact that she never told him shows that she doesn’t regret what she did, she regrets getting caught.
@ryanness27313 жыл бұрын
That was my main thought too
@ChadDidNothingWrong3 жыл бұрын
Too bad she waited until she was barren......because I'd demand two more kids...bare minimum. Better make it 6.....since you know, we're 1 for 3 so far...
@casper67413 жыл бұрын
@@ChadDidNothingWrong not necessarily, there's people out there in their 60s and 70s that have had children. My grandmother was 56 when she got pregnant with my mom. She died when I was 22 at the age of 94. I'm not saying it would be easy but it's not impossible. That's why when I hear people talk about a fertility clock I laugh a little on the inside because if you look into it then you'll see in a way that it's a lie, not a full on lie but there are definitely exceptions.
@miriamanderson61463 жыл бұрын
Yep!
@Gofex13373 жыл бұрын
Seeing as how she has supposedly cried over guilt for it to her sister for decades. I kinda do think she did regret it.
@ONTOE03 жыл бұрын
I feel like I just watched a detailed slideshow describing the dissection and breaking down of a good person
@worztbeats81893 жыл бұрын
Truly horrifiying.
@winniethepoohandeeyore23 жыл бұрын
Yep sadly, Now a destroyed man
@shirleydeebonilla67123 жыл бұрын
That woman’s actions changed that poor man’s life forever. Everything he did since he was 19 depended on her happiness and well being. That’s why I hate cheaters. They just have a good time and don’t care about consequences. And also, four years is not a mistake. She is a horrible person who’s sad because she got caught.
@kellyrobinson12743 жыл бұрын
My husband has a large family. 7 brothers and sisters. One of the girls took a DNA test and the results show she's only half related. Meaning her father isn't her father. My mother in law is in her 80s. So she isn't going to bring it up with her. But its crazy. This is a real thing.
@razakza3 жыл бұрын
That is sadly the most accurate description of what we all watched...
@mrenemy76743 жыл бұрын
Man became a husband at 19 and parent at 21, prioritised those roles for over 30 years, then finally discovered who he really is when he started putting himself first, I’m sad for what he lost but proud of him for who he became.
@ast-og-losta3 күн бұрын
True, and well said.
@kevinbarajas26993 жыл бұрын
Let's mandate the paternity test, because taking care of someone elses children without them knowing should be paternity fraud.
@Dejusticed2 жыл бұрын
Its worse than that, its theft and murder. You are stealing my attention, my money, my time and effort, all the while murdering that part of my life. Its crazy how infidelity, isn't punished severely like it should be.
@gnhun1012 жыл бұрын
I'm all for branding these people with a scarlet letter. And they can carry the shame for the rest of their lives, and people can know not to get into a relationship with them in the future
@emilycurrent74892 жыл бұрын
And let's make the cheating scumbags pay a financial fine too. If the "dad" paid anything for the baby? Mom pays it x2.
@thalmoragent9344 Жыл бұрын
@@Dejusticed Facts, Paternity Fraud is an immoral crime that isn't punished accordingly enough. Robbing me of all my effort to continue MY family and bloodline? I'd have been livid, no way I'd have let her off this easy. I'd be irate.
@djjones63511 ай бұрын
Well Tennessee made it official
@syahmimi14253 жыл бұрын
just wow. he lost his identity, and his brain is responding by erasing that identity and recognization quickly and form a new personality. The former him is no longer accessible.
@jameretief83273 жыл бұрын
He just got a Golden Ticket, now go out and have some fun!
@ChadDidNothingWrong3 жыл бұрын
@Boa-Noah yikes he's gone already
@Bersilus3 жыл бұрын
The old save got corrupted
@CasperFiles19693 жыл бұрын
*Top 10 anime transformations*
@NA-uz7co3 жыл бұрын
Its a sad end
@themaxster77983 жыл бұрын
This is one of the most depressing Reddit Cheaters stories that I've ever heard.
@kajsiabyang62593 жыл бұрын
I agree. It gutted me for a whole week the first time I heard the story. I'm on the second listen and it hits the same.
@bryanr90823 жыл бұрын
I don't know why I listen to these. So depressing. Dude's going to off himself.
@altari27903 жыл бұрын
@@bryanr9082 for real I don’t know why I listen to these I always just feel sad by the end
@Immortal_Liberty3 жыл бұрын
@@bryanr9082 false. Listen again. He is nowdivorced and found another woman. You dont understandmale psychology
@wdyd_masterattwitch49563 жыл бұрын
This one was just sad.
@FTLnovaKid2 жыл бұрын
What I love about this story is how he says he is going to forgive her and return to their normal life. And the next post is of him leaving and not reconciling.
@rey02411 ай бұрын
It's the mind that wants to hold on, not having processed it entirely. Mind tried to fool his hart and just move on. He just could not get his feelings straight and still could not process rationally what the implications are of his changed situation, so latched on to the first thing that made him feel good, the car. And the freedom it brings was a bonus, his mind could stop processing what happened, and distraction started. Notice how divorce or not is not even a thought in his mind. He ends the post with saying he is going to distract himself some more. Poor soul, his mind finally tricked his hart. Not by pretending nothing had happened. But by rationalizing how it is oke to stop caring and be selfish, learning how to get quick dopamine shots by going on little adventures. Think of it as a triggered midlife crisis, he is catching up for all the years he now feels has missed, experiencing the what could have been. Until he snaps in a couple years because his adventures just feel empty and he still has to deal with this trauma before he can move on. This is how psychoses can be triggered.
@stefanspinu43411 ай бұрын
@@rey024this feels like mental regression to me. He got married at 19, so now that his entire life up to that point was a lie, he is picking up where he left. There's also the fact that the people around him try to push him to not divorce her while calling what she did just a mistake and still do. His whole identity of being a hard working family man was destroyed so now he doesn't bother being like that (at least in relation to his wife since he still cares about his daughters). However, I think this was the better outcome considering he started with suicidal ideation. Even if it still hollow, at least he found a way to cope with it. Hopefully, one of the children gets him to individual therapy since everyone pushing him to couples' therapy just makes him more unlikely to try to get help.
@loganblackwood29229 ай бұрын
@@stefanspinu434She robbed him of everything.
@andidimarco38203 жыл бұрын
I was cheated on twice, and had slowly begun to turn paranoid and toxic to future partners. Snapped out of it and made it a point to contact all these people years later and apologize for my actions. Haven't dated since. Found these videos and started diving down this rabbit hole.. And.. Yeah. No.. I don't want to date ever again 😂 I can't stop watching these and I have run out of tissues.. The paper towel is course and rough.
@keiranmorrisart3 жыл бұрын
this is the kind of thing that can turn a good man into a murderer
@windy493 жыл бұрын
He's one sick person that's for sure. Her mistakes were serious no doubt but for him to be so willing to toss it all away - SICK and stupid. The only negative about his thoughts of killing himself is that his family would have to deal with that for the rest of their lives AND it would NOT be the wife's fault regardless of what she did many years ago. As he mentioned -she never was certain that they weren't his biologically.
@cool_aid94973 жыл бұрын
@@windy49 males and females react differently when it comes to betrayal. It is wife's fault. "i wasn't sure" is not an excuse.
@newhope333 жыл бұрын
@@windy49 Toss what away, his whole life has been based on a lie there's very little you could do to a man thats worse.
@SWIFTzTrigger3 жыл бұрын
@@windy49 You're a horrible person if you can justify the pure evil his wife committed. He was a good man for over 30 years. Prioritized his family above everything including himself, he did everything for them, he even stunted his own career for them. His wife destroyed him, broke him. His entire reality broke down. And that was so emotionally overwhelming that he couldn't handle it, he wanted an escape. Initially he thought about suicide, but in the end he luckily didn't. This is the damage the WIFE did , not him. He is now permanently emotionally distant from her because of her actions not his. What she did to him was something you wouldn't do to your worst enemy because its too cruel. But then again you must be a degenerate that see's men as a utility, their emotions have no important, the evils done to them do not matter.
@paccawacca40693 жыл бұрын
@@windy49 you're a woman huh?
@NickanM3 жыл бұрын
I've been married for 31 years, and if my husband cheated for _FOUR YEARS_ I wouldn't forgive. It wasn't a short fling or a one night stand. Nope. No way.
@adamhero4593 жыл бұрын
It’s very different for men then women. Depending on where he lives he could be on the hook for alimony. It is very rare that women have to pay that. And because of this it’s much easier for women to just pick up and leave. It’s made so easy that it essentially promotes women to leave their husbands even if there is no reason. This is why women initiate more divorces. I’m sure men and women want a divorce at similar rates, but men usually are trapped financially into marriages.
@Ghost11703 жыл бұрын
@@adamhero459 Ya, but when it comes to infidelity, men cheat more in the US while women are higher in % when it comes to repeat offending. I just googled spousal cheating rates. It varies from site to site. Idk about women initiating more divorces... Men just don't do it probably cause they're lazy, abusive, or just don't want that 'public shame'. I'm an asian male, so that might change input views.
@paddington16703 жыл бұрын
@@Ghost1170 Adam is right, no fault states require alimony to be paid and traps men financially so would you initiate divorce? only way to do it is to get her to agree to annul it with certain stipulations like splitting possessions and bank accounts only and not alimony, otherwise default is alimony, and that would be terrible.
@mihajlosmiljanic71563 жыл бұрын
If its even 4 years.... The only reason he even found out is because of the DNA test. She could have easily told him it was 4 when it was like 10... Who knows.... There is probably a chance that she cheated on him more than once
@F1ng0riginal3 жыл бұрын
@@Ghost1170 " Ya, but when it comes to infidelity, men cheat more in the US while women are higher in % when it comes to repeat offending." Do you think a Bayesian inference is a safe and reliable way to collect data with any high level of confidence? Especially on one that relies upon self reporting and honesty?
@tamnelson94442 жыл бұрын
4 years of cheating and having 2 kids as a result of the affair is not a mistake! It was a literal choice.
@_stefku_ Жыл бұрын
Stories like this are why if I ever have a child, even if it’s by a woman I’ve been married to and in love with for years, I have to get a paternity test done. You can be in what you think is the most rock solid, passionate, trusting relationship of your life and be dead wrong
@nightsider013 жыл бұрын
I have to admit this was terrifying thing to listen to.
@Illumiae3 жыл бұрын
I seriously expected this to end with a suicide. Hope OP kicks the horrible person to the curb and makes his life what he wants it.
@InDadequate3 жыл бұрын
agree 100%
@toothlessgrin043 жыл бұрын
Sometimes reality is scarier than fiction....
@TheyCallHimTheTops3 жыл бұрын
@@Illumiae I was more thinking murder/suicide lol
@Illumiae3 жыл бұрын
@@TheyCallHimTheTops I didn't get a vibe that this man would hurt anyone other than himself. I fully expected him to purposefully crash his car when he was going near 200km/h
@paerarru3 жыл бұрын
Guy at the beginning: I have zero interest in a new life. Guy at the end: I'm starting a new life. Good for him. He took the best way.
@kumokundomo97053 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I don't have to listen to this to find out the ending.
@lindajohnson32723 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@smithmccaulsky3 жыл бұрын
This is literally the definition of men going there own way
@jamainegardner41933 жыл бұрын
@@kumokundomo9705 You probably should watch though, because it changes the context. He's a broken man now, and has barely begun to rebuild himself.
@docman23873 жыл бұрын
I thought it was the same person the whole time wow
@Dread8733 жыл бұрын
I can’t believe someone can be married to someone for 33 YEARS LYiNG EVERYDAY that’s some psychotic shit to be keepin secrets for that long
@omegaPSI20063 жыл бұрын
"A mistake she made years ago" They are aware that he is not the biological father of most if not all his kids right? That's a mistake that will never really end.
@Ragnarok6913 жыл бұрын
I guarantee she has told you not even half of what she actually did. You cannot trust her, she lied to you for 33 years.
@uareamazing81063 жыл бұрын
@Brighton nah. I dont think so. If he probably had a funeral and shit. You cant actually fake something like this
@uareamazing81063 жыл бұрын
@Brighton I dunno dude. I dont think she has any reason to lie at this point
@uareamazing81063 жыл бұрын
@Brighton yeah but more than 2 decades has passed
@Wgaberle3 жыл бұрын
If he is dead, that is easily confirmed via public record. What is not easy to resolve it the damage the cheating partner has inflicted on so many innocent lives. And, no, I do not believe she is remorseful for the affair - just like every other cheater, they are worried about the trouble it will cause them. She lied to a man that loved her and was good to her. She lied to her children who can now never trust her words. and then she lied to everyone she knew about the false life she has constructed. This is a truly sad situation for everyone involved, there are no winners - only hurt.
@BangtansMomma3 жыл бұрын
Yeah I said that too ,she’s probably giving basic information only. And making it seem like a sex only thing. Also making it seem like they never considered leaving with him not once. A four year affair definitely had some emotional content, it’s almost impossible not too. I also can’t get over the fact that she just sat there on fathers days, Christmas and birthdays (also things like daddy daughter days etc) and just never cracked or felt guilty enough to say anything. Also the fact her family knew and she said “she’s gutted because she was going to take it to the grave” and was devastated that the lies came out. And she (and her family) has been guilt tripping him, gaslighting and doing the classic excuses/explanations (like if I could go back in time or I was very young then and was spoilt) But apparently you aren’t now, but still kept up the lies for literally a big majority of the marriage without breaking (that is a big red flag, anyone who can do this without the guilt making them break is only thinking of themselves) I thought he let the wife come back way too quick in the first place as he needed to process it without anyone guilt tripping him. I also thought that it’s convenient that person is now dead and can’t give no information or say she’s telling the truth. I pretty much knew that once he got through the grieving process that he might feel different and I’m glad he is slowly feeling much better and wanting to do what’s right for him too. He sounds like he is slowly backing off from the marriage now and wanting to live life to the fullest instead of feeling like he didn’t want to live, which is great to hear. I think this was too many lies for too long for him to forgive and forget. I was happier for him when he updated to say he was breaking away now, as it’s very very hard to forgive such a huge betrayal and it probably would up ended up eating away at him to be honest. I think he does need the clean break from the home, work and wife to be able to live a happier life now.
@slaughturion10893 жыл бұрын
9:43 So, she was faced with two choices: 1. Hide the affair, and hope that it never comes back to bite her 2. Reveal the affair, risk the chance of divorce, losing her house/car, financial ruin She took the easier of the two options, then had the audacity to try and pretend it was the harder of the two options? That is just straight up evil.
@miriamanderson61463 жыл бұрын
Exactly, evil! Calculating evil.
@mistrsynistr76443 жыл бұрын
Option 1 seems easier but in reality the guilt of an affair for 30 years would tear someone to shreds. However option 2 was what should have happened, as a matter of fact option 3 should have happened. 3. Don't drop your panties for the neighbors lol.
@Vradica3 жыл бұрын
@@mistrsynistr7644 Dude, you are assuming such a woman has a conscience... Ask yourself this... The had a daughter of 29 and a daughter of 26 years of age, and she comes out to the table to reveal that she had an affair that lasted for 4 years... does that mean, if the son at 22 years of age had been found out......would the affair have lasted for 8 years?
@wesleysmallwood4133 жыл бұрын
@@Vradica 100% that other guy dropped loads into her until the day his cancer wouldn't let him. You don't just stop something like that after 4 years. This dude just got lucky the son was his.
@PIERCED69663 жыл бұрын
Lets put this in perspective! During the cheating she got pregnant, had the child went back to cheating, got pregnant again all within a 4 yr affair. Whilst that in itself is enough to say hell no, her sister also knew about it from the time it happened and kept silent. What a shit pair of selfish sisters
@johnvanegmond18123 жыл бұрын
She said it was 4 years. The children prove that it was "at least" four years.
@MrJeffcoley13 жыл бұрын
The story is from 2018, which places the affair in the 1980's. Back then it was common for people to rationalize their selfishness as somehow altruistic, as she did: "Our affair made us better spouses to our respective partners." It was pervasive, everything was all about ME, ME, ME! Seek your own fulfillment, don't let old-fashioned ideas about love and marriage and family stand in the way of your own personal wants needs and desires. Utter moral bankruptcy masquerading as virtue. Ugh.
@Butmunch6662 жыл бұрын
And today its not all about ME ME ME. When we live in the age of FB, TikTok and Tinder. It's only gotten worse.
@OlfimusPrime10 ай бұрын
Right today it's all about love and peace. Not Divorce Rates skyrocketing and people being able to communicate all over the world but being lonelier than ever right?
@shadowmaster3356 ай бұрын
today is no different, except, we don't try and hide behind some virtue
@wolve2k2 ай бұрын
The only positive think about "now" is .... most cheaters are total idiots.. thru that and all the new technology a lot more of the cheating gets detected.
@AngelWJedi3 жыл бұрын
I never understand cheaters. They say they love their So's yet still cheat? Umm if you loved them why did you do it then?
@kenseisato19893 жыл бұрын
Cheaters have a cognitive dissonance to justify their cheating. They’re borderline mentally ill and have fragile self esteem. They can never love, they do it because they are only looking out for number one and it’s their self serving self entitled ego that they put first more than anything else. These people are never in love, just infatuated with conditions and situations. That’s as deep as it gets
@spectre28913 жыл бұрын
According to the studies done by Helen Fisher, the brain has 3 separate compartment for lust, passionate (romantic) and Companionate love. For lust, this is easy to control unless alcohol is involve. Admit it, everyone feel lust to stray but the part of brain regulating Companionate love over ride it. Passionate love is a strong attraction combined with affection. This usually appears during the beginning of relationship or affair. This lasted for 4 years. Without strong Companionate love, an individual is more likely to stray. Infact after 4 years, Infidelity and divorce rate suddenly spikes. The person experiences limerance. Limerance is a dream like state in which the person falls in love to the idea. Limerance prevents you from thinking rationally Companionate love is the deep feeling of affection combined with commitment. Unlike passionate love, this is stable and limerance is already gone. Passionate love and Companionate love can coexist so she might be telling the truth that she loves him.
@bishopman23083 жыл бұрын
@marynorth They cheat because they don't love their SO. They also don't love their AP. The only person they love is themselves, which is how they can cheat so easily.
@melj70753 жыл бұрын
It's more about self-control. Someone can love you with all their heart, but if they don't have self-control whenever temptation comes knocking they won't turn it down.
@pikengren13 жыл бұрын
she does love you. and chad. and tyrone. and billy. and that guy she met at the grocery store. "she's not yours, its just your turn". you just didnt expect that to be a day to day thing.
@HovalisKai23 жыл бұрын
How is 4 YEARS a mistake?
@JerodimusPrime3 жыл бұрын
Exactly, 4 years is longer than a lot of peoples marriages. She had 2 kids from that other guy too. You reap what you sow.
@Seraphim_Belisarius3 жыл бұрын
4 years and two children. She had a pregnancy, gave birth, and did it again, until she got pregnant again..
@kingturtle24k813 жыл бұрын
Why in these stories does everyone tell the person who bern cheated on to forgive&forget like wth
@MrREALball3 жыл бұрын
@@kingturtle24k81 because its reddit - a site for simps, feminists and other leftards. Just a pathetic bunch of circlejerk idiots.
@stuartward17553 жыл бұрын
@@kingturtle24k81 Reddit is notorious for being filled with Simps. They don't like it when women are cast in a negative light
@TheJotaroKujo3 жыл бұрын
Imagine having a husband that loves you and cares for you, and for some reason being jealous of women who belong to the streets and having an urge to ride the CC.
@susanedionwe70492 жыл бұрын
I think this will be my last reddit story. My heart can't take this. This was ABSOLUTELY crushing. The pain in this story was overwhelming. I feel so incredibly bad for this redditor.
@isaytheenay59613 жыл бұрын
And for the first time in 33 years, he came to know who his wife actually is.
@olymolly36373 жыл бұрын
@Blue Douche Mark No, he doesn't anymore. He just shred it all off when he lost the ability to care for her, remember? To me it's the same as he's indifferent & unfeeling for her anymore & her words are meaningless. He sees her for who she is, just as he sees his career for what it is. His marriage life is all a lie. She managed to manipulate him all those times too, & by proxy, people who care about them both. Look at how they side with her. She's a natural manipulator.
@olymolly36373 жыл бұрын
@Blue Douche Mark No, at first, as in one of the earlier updates. Newer updates he had clearly changed yet again, into someone with zero fucks given.
@HitPeace3 жыл бұрын
They all for the streets!!!
@justdrewtheultramagaspoonc50433 жыл бұрын
I cheated on a girl in hi school I really felt bad about that. I never cheated again after that. I'm 39 years old now.
@jackson23083 жыл бұрын
Wrong. He learned who she was when she was still very young and spoiled. Judging someone well into their years by the mistakes they made decades prior in their youth is wrong and childish.
@johnhodgdon24343 жыл бұрын
It just hit me, that because he refused to commit to suicide, his brain did it for him, just started building new neurons and disconnecting the bridges between other ones, to kill off the old him.
@ravenzyblack2 жыл бұрын
Yep...Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
@keepitabuck23132 жыл бұрын
Deep.
@speculesgorgoth40552 жыл бұрын
That's very interesting sounds plausible
@kp002942 жыл бұрын
You make awful lot of sense here. His brain mostly destroyed whatever ties he had to his old self. Viola ! A brand new person
@HumanSagaVault2 жыл бұрын
i actually read the same type of story, but it was posted by the cheating wife as it was advised by her therapist because her husband committed suicide after they got DNA results and finding out all 4 of his daughters weren't his, he took off immediately and went no contact for 3 days, soon after the granda(husbands father) at their family fishing cabin, he hanged himself. tragic
@rambonyankitty2212 жыл бұрын
This is heartbreaking. You can tell how much this man is compartmentalizing his pain.
@rajuk.j2403 жыл бұрын
False accusations and paternity fraud should be criminal offense(s) by law
@harmmany2143 жыл бұрын
She didn't wise up after 4 years, something happened with that side thing and it ended for its own reasons unrelated to your relationship.
@stonemason8483 жыл бұрын
yeah he died.....probably kept up friends all these years. hubby had no clue ,or refused to see the red flags. At least he`s having some fun now. at 50 I felt the same way,no cares ,no future ,no job care. just took off one day ,and had some fun out of state...just had to burn off some anger I had.....felt like the walls were closing in around me. felt good to get away,for a short time.....came back with a fuckyou ,i don`t care attitude,still do at 68 ......kids are grown up ,grandkids ,etc. single still since 1980.......whole world goes to hell? who cares.....not me.
@immapotato13 жыл бұрын
she probably just got dumped
@Gofex13373 жыл бұрын
She had that 2nd kid. That's what happened probably.
@nobledmarlin173 жыл бұрын
@@stonemason848 uncle, you have my respect
@NaohMkS3 жыл бұрын
Probably the guy discovered his cancer or something and that wised both of them
@TheoriginalBacchuscleric3 жыл бұрын
"We had our first child at 21." Yea, about that...
@biswarupray96713 жыл бұрын
Damn ! Did he not think it through? 😂 ... she already cheated.
@thomasmilazzo62733 жыл бұрын
That made me laugh.
@demianc61703 жыл бұрын
I dont understant. Someone explain.
@TheoriginalBacchuscleric3 жыл бұрын
@@demianc6170 Their "first child" wasn't.
@immapotato13 жыл бұрын
@@demianc6170 first two kids aren't his. so she was lying through her teeth when she said being a mother was a pressure cause she didn't seem to have any issues dumping her lovers kids on OP
@shadmanhasan42053 жыл бұрын
And this is why Paternity + Maternity testing should be *MANDATORY* .
@connorhearts47762 жыл бұрын
Paternity sure but maternity...? Sir, do you know how giving birth works? /hj
@infinitymixtapes95622 жыл бұрын
@@connorhearts4776 I was bouta say 😂😂
@paulinejackson5861 Жыл бұрын
Paternity tests are misogynistic
@shadowmaster3356 ай бұрын
@@infinitymixtapes9562 i think the reason for maternity test part is due to potential switches at birth, it is apparently more common than some think, hell i've heard of "cheating" stories where it turns out that "whoops, we got the wrong baby"
@frostmac443 жыл бұрын
"She's been the best mother and wife a guy could ever ask for" He still said that.
@N0__Name__3 жыл бұрын
while pregnant she was still seeing the other dude and after 3 years she got pregnant again... i think they just broke cus the issue was getting bigger... not because they "grew up"
@delmanpronto93743 жыл бұрын
they broke up because she got 2 of his kids. now she could focus on the marriage to raise them. she wanted the AP's kids and the security that her husband provided. alpha fucks beta bucks. best of both worlds. total sociopath.
@frandavis19903 жыл бұрын
@@delmanpronto9374 devil in the flesh
@brentfarvors1923 жыл бұрын
Come on, now; She KNEW they weren't his! It's one thing to cheat, it's something completely different to do it while ovulating! Imagine trying to reconcile with someone that finally gave him the "privilege" of getting her pregnant...AFTER raising another mans "mistake(s)"...? Poor guy gave his whole life for the runner up prize on Jeopardy!
@joenkarenlapent83332 жыл бұрын
4 year affair with NO PROTECTION what was she thinking.
@joenkarenlapent83332 жыл бұрын
what was he thinking
@ryanbales81163 жыл бұрын
His whole life was a lie. The only reason they had such a "wonderful" life is because of him sacrificing immensely. As a man, I can't think of anything more painful than to find out that a kid you thought was yours turns out not to be yours. She didn't respect him and it's easy for everyone else not going through it to say he shouldn't throw it all away. She and her sister deserve all the pain that can be bestowed on them. I'd leave immediately, no matter what it takes. He can still reinvent himself. Nothing will ever be the same and he needs to shake that co-dependent attitude. He deserves better.
@8ball2223 жыл бұрын
Damn right !!! She’s trying to chalk this up to being young, stupid and entitled ! Bullshit ! She was methodical in how she carried out that affair. She got knocked up from the guy she had the affair with and then made her Husband believe that those two kids were his. OUCH !!! That poor Husband is in a world of hurt.
@ryanbales81163 жыл бұрын
@@8ball222 he deserved better.
@smsdamiracle3 жыл бұрын
I think he’s on the path of that last line “reinventing himself” and shaking that codependency too by just saying “fuck it” to a lot of things, I.e being out of dress code at a high prestigious firm, buying that badass car and just “go”ing, talking to pretty women, meeting some funny ass people, e.t.c. Now it just all takes time and what he’ll doing from here, will be interesting to see. He’s a special case to watch out for and honestly makes me want to register on Reddit to keep track of him
@camilo0calderon3 жыл бұрын
@@smsdamiracle He's basically living the life that he knew he could've had or the life that he sacrificed for what turned out to be a pure lie and illusion... It's sad in a way but also good to see the guy just do what he wants
@mr.raslyon66263 жыл бұрын
The truly disgusting part is that she allowed him to think those kids were his. Unforgivable.
@HumanSagaVault2 жыл бұрын
This bad news totally changed this man's perspective in life, it totally changed him holy shit
@alexiscerrud1993 жыл бұрын
I almost cried when he said only his son could donate him a kidney
@wilsonjunior75823 жыл бұрын
"I am your girl for life" 😂🤣 wow!!! The audacity
@lomeygoat3 жыл бұрын
wilson junior I'm your girl for life and also every other mans love toy,,,
@saunshilu3 жыл бұрын
I would have served her divorce papers destroyed the homewreckers grave and like with this guy did take my own life but not before taking her with me
@miriamanderson61463 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@miriamanderson61463 жыл бұрын
The best thing him is to make a clean break from her. He is still fairly young. I am just glad that he is now out of the suicidal mode. Also glad that he went on that spontaneous random trip out of state. As for her being good mother, naturally, after being pregnant TWICE from her affair partner. If her 2 daughters would have been sick, she would be forced to reveal her deliances in case of medical history to manage an illness. The audacity also to demand everyone had to bend over when she told them to give her 2 hours. Anyhow, I'm happy for him that he's become a new man for the better. He needs new woman because clearly he's great man.
@lan2me3 жыл бұрын
A mistake that lasted 4 years.....lol She just wanted to make sure it is really a mistake, so she have to keep it going to be sure.....
@emilymay63693 жыл бұрын
Those two hours weren’t her composing herself, it was coming up with a plan to stop you from leaving and what she said to you was so manipulative it makes me sick. DIVORCE- she didn’t respect you or love you enough to tell you and it wasn’t a one night oopsie, it was a bloody 4 year long affair. Don’t commit suicide, she isn’t worth it and you will find someone who really loves you
@johnhummel993 жыл бұрын
Yeah my man's here is salt and pepper and loaded hell he will do much much better
@scottys14233 жыл бұрын
And didn't she text everyone after locking herself in that she wanted two hours? How does someone in a panic state know they need two hours? I would have said: "fine take all the time you need in there, but hand me your phone right now."
@Rose_Bride3 жыл бұрын
@ Emily May, I 💯% agree with you! She was _definitely_ coming up with a nice little sob story. I'd have taken the door off the hinges and MADE her talk to me. She doesn't get the luxury of "preparing". There really needs to be laws against things like paternity fraud. Her deceit has _destroyed_ not only her husband, but also 2 out of 3 of their kids! This wasn't some "mistake"...she had a full blown relationship with this man, enough to father 2 kids from him over the course of 4 years! Cheating is never a "mistake"...it is a _CONSCIOUS DECISION_ . Cheating is a CHOICE. At least the kids are all adults, so OP at least won't be on the hook for child support, but sadly, being that they were married for so long, he will _definitely_ be on the hook for some type of spousal support. I absolutely _DESPISE_ cheaters!
@soufside20653 жыл бұрын
"you will find someone who really loves you" nah I think he’s done because of this shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if he really killed himself or went monk mode
@billtay19633 жыл бұрын
@@Rose_Bride He already paid the child support over all those years...
@masteroogway38053 жыл бұрын
Everytime I listen to these vids I get a sense of the emotions the OP feel. I just feel pure anger and sadness from this and its just sad.
@darealestwon3 жыл бұрын
She didn’t really grow up since she didn’t tell him she deceived him into raising another man’s children. A friend no less.
@vli93753 жыл бұрын
"She said she has never regretted being my wife and mother to our kids" Our kid*
@jennifergarcia61943 жыл бұрын
Damn, that hurt. Like how you gonna just go and say that😩😔😭
@Orjahlian3 жыл бұрын
Big OOF
@rarminqorset36283 жыл бұрын
Brutal
@user-pt1ye7vd7m3 жыл бұрын
Interpretation. She never regreted having him as a father of the girls that she had with another dude.
@82dorrin3 жыл бұрын
Correction. She never regretted tricking him into paying for another guy's 2 kids.
@EuriEuropa3 жыл бұрын
4 years is most definitely not a mistake. Maybe after 33 years finding out about a small fling, k fine I'll be mad but 4 years?! And TWO children?! Nah bruh sorry 4 years is not a mistake
@ericajacobson26833 жыл бұрын
@Heyward Shepherd Vegas here. Thank you for the LOL/snort! 😷
@johnkendall69623 жыл бұрын
100% It was a self centered choice. A friend who went through something like it said it best . Its like putting back together a gig saw puzzle that was dropped and a few pieces became missing.
@rgallen59523 жыл бұрын
4 years, 2 kids and would go to her grave. Monetarily $400K for two kids PLUS college. Professionally - job to pay the bill for an illusion of a wife, and someone else's kids, Morally - WTF, wife is complete bankrupt. Extended reach- you, your kid, her kids, her, the biological father, wife and his children, both sets of grandparents and workplace, as well as friends who knew. No good measure of the full extent. No you fault nor your problem, Save or go, make her a roommate. No wrong answer except suicide.
@markusb.28503 жыл бұрын
@@rgallen5952 The last few minutes go deep. He was trapped in a never ending nightmare of a job. He could not do what he wanted, because he was the earner for the family and he lived only for the family! No promotion because family, no longer hours nothing. With a few promotions and raises he could be retired by know (he seems to have a good paying job), but he suffered threw because family! That all got ripped apart by the cheating wife, his whole life could be different. Maybe a life in California would be possible without two of the three children? Never had a nice car, because family! Never met new people, because family! The whole story is just sad and I am glad that he did not end it all!
@nathanosaka39773 жыл бұрын
Big finesse
@lacefreak3 жыл бұрын
Betrayal that deep is unforgivable. This poor man now has to find something real in his life that has nothing to do with that sham of a marriage.
@UnderTheTableGremlin3 жыл бұрын
“I am your girl for life” minus those four years of betrayal and having another man’s kids, yeah?
@pirjettabesil666918 күн бұрын
And all the years lying about being faithful....she also must have known those children had high chances being APs
@DE4DLYX4SS4SS1N3 жыл бұрын
She drove him to pure madness. At some point he’s going to experience a very big crash, I hope he turns out okay
@agentsarcas68912 жыл бұрын
Yeah I agree. Imagine youself in this situation; just built around your family loving them taking care of them and then you realize that they were just... not yours (or at one point they weren't) I feel for this guy. I'm for sure what he went through when he discovered the truth
@pugilist1022 жыл бұрын
I don't see it as a big crash. I see him rebuilding his world around him, figuring out his new self, new interests, new future.
@momontiel2 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@aSSGoblin14882 жыл бұрын
I still say murder suicide is the best option I will even throw in the children as a bonus
@Irishkennedy931 Жыл бұрын
I think him taking off from his job in his new car and running for California was his "crash". And instead of staying he came back. Everything after is his bounce back. The man is finally living for himself after 33 years. He's going to be fine.
@zoe91903 жыл бұрын
Why do the people telling OP that it happened ages ago and you should get over it think it helps, he only learned about it recently. A whole life based on lies. If he had learned about the cheating before the kids came, he wouldnt of stayed. She robbed him of the choice to stay or go early in the relationship. She is not a good person
@NuRaLoQi3 жыл бұрын
Because someone has to support her, and they sure as shit don't want that burden.
@MillionaireCatFights3 жыл бұрын
Could you imagine if someone told a woman who was rapped it happened a long time ago? That she should just forgive her rapist because it happened 25 years ago (Bill Cosby)?
@mirrorflame19883 жыл бұрын
@@MillionaireCatFights He has been proven innocent right? He was just accused then dog piled on by the media and everyone else.
@brobike423 жыл бұрын
Exactly. It may have happened 30 years ago, but to him it was yesterday. I say leave the wife, go away and enjoy the hell out of the rest of your life. That guy in the bar had the best advice; lots of beer, lots of pussy. Cure for everything.
@TechnoMageB53 жыл бұрын
@Zoe McCallum That's the thing. By her having the affair and children that are not the husbands AND NOT TELLING HIM, she denied him consent. Had he found out about the affair the day it ended, that marriage would have been toast and the child support would have been moved to the Affair Partner (AP) - and the son that came later that was actually his would have never happened. Reverse the gender roles (and somehow have 2 kids she thinks are hers that aren't) and the man would be getting reamed a new one, the woman told to dump his ___. His whole life, the purpose for which he slaved to create, is a lie. That shatters a person. All his reactions and actions are a normal response to his reality being upended. It's like Neo first waking up outside the Matrix - it takes some work to reorient oneself. The good news is, he's well on his way, and he has gained a new level of control and freedom in his life.
@oiurehj3 жыл бұрын
Paternity test should be mandatory.
@davidmason57193 жыл бұрын
He was definitely going through a mid-life crisis but well deserved. Unfortunate it took 51 years before he started living for himself but still great. What a great story, this could make a solid movie or short film(45min).
@iihungy3 жыл бұрын
"She was going to take that secret to the grave." Damn. That line really hits hard. This man's wife would have played him a fool his entire life believing his 2 oldest daughters were his. Some say ignorance is bliss, but obviously, they've never felt what it was like being the victim.
@wikiwoof95903 жыл бұрын
But if he has never found out it would’ve been cool. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong or anything. It’s just so fucked.
@higgins32273 жыл бұрын
@@wikiwoof9590 what's more fucked is the Sister in law supposedly knew about it
@Orjahlian3 жыл бұрын
@@higgins3227 her I would absolutely never forgive.
@VitorHugoOliveiraSousa3 жыл бұрын
@@wikiwoof9590 it's destroy the children too especially if one or both of the parents are dead and they can't get closure, I have seen this type of history of paternity fraud from the point of view of the kids. Never feed this type of lie, decades are a long long time to keep a lie alive without it biting you back.
@BayMacDre4152 жыл бұрын
Well, they are not victims until they KNOW the truth... which... no longer makes them ignorant? So, you're wrong. Ignorance IS bliss.
@delmanpronto93743 жыл бұрын
"the woman that has loved me and honored me for decades..." she never did any of those things.
@Danneman923 жыл бұрын
Yeah, honestly, while I of course feel for this man, statements like that are so silly, when she LIED to him for 33 years, and would take that lie with her to her grave, if it wasn't found out.. how "honorable".
@rageraptor71273 жыл бұрын
If she was a cheater before. Whose to say she’s not still cheating? That’s the problem with cheating. It breaks the most important part about a relationship. Trust.
@alexanderoquendo2432 жыл бұрын
@@rageraptor7127 ...and her soul.
@filipecordeiro71092 жыл бұрын
@@alexanderoquendo243 ehh she never had one to begin with
@razakza2 жыл бұрын
@@rageraptor7127 It doesn't matter if she is still cheating or not... What we know she has done, is so vile and damaging, that it literally makes all present actions moot.
@charlesdgomes12142 жыл бұрын
This story takes an award I wish there were more updates
@chadbrown81962 жыл бұрын
His brain reconfigured it self by replacing the 51 y.o personality with a younger version of himself(driving fast,acting carefree;just like a young man). That's the brains way of protecting him mentally from crashing. Genetics doesn't care about great life you built/great wife and all that. Passing our own genes is what matters.
@tyronethomas57612 жыл бұрын
Exactly. The flight/fight mechanism took over. He left the situation that was a sudden shock. Then his mind reconfigured itself to keep him operating normal. That's why he said he lost the old him and can't find it.
@chrysaorcelestial3 жыл бұрын
"I am your girl for life" except, you know, those four years when I was with someone behind your back and even had two children with them while we were married and then I lied to your face making you think they were your children...
@Darthoil3 жыл бұрын
The worst is not knowing who the father was of the kids. It was just his turn for the last 30 years.
@RickJW-OSM3 жыл бұрын
'.. but other than that, your girl for life.'
@chakraborty1989 Жыл бұрын
I bet she has other affairs too, so not just 4 years.
@l3mu3l13 жыл бұрын
Having another man's children is not a mistake.People need to stop disrepecting the husband ,he all ready been hurt enough.😡😡😡
@NeoLotex3 жыл бұрын
Especially two
@Aki-kh2qe-StreetKidZZZ3 жыл бұрын
@@NeoLotex dude there are worse cases in that topic. Still shitty
@MsMichelle14322 жыл бұрын
The husband I have prayed for my whole life....to love and adore and honor as the king of my heart....she got....and didn't appreciate. WOW!!!! Life is a mystery.
@kjax06303 жыл бұрын
The family says she made a mistake when she was "very young" yet he says "all this happened not that long ago"....that would be my ex wife for sure.
@johnhodgdon24343 жыл бұрын
This guy straight up had a midlife crisis spurred on by a marriage disrupted, that's wild, I feel bad for this dude because he got broken on a deep level, first suicide, then acceptance, then escape, like he doesn't even know who he is.
@jadeimingan1843 жыл бұрын
He even said so himself, man this is terrifying. Behind the so called Great word he says, every bit of it is.. Detached. I don't know I maybe wrong but I want to be.
@rosihantu12 жыл бұрын
@@jadeimingan184 I'm looking at it positively - Rebirth. They might not get a divorce but mentally he's already checked out. Probably going to treat the wife like a roommate.
@aSSGoblin14882 жыл бұрын
I think OP should delete the unsolicited advice ppl
@youflatscreentube Жыл бұрын
He doesn’t. But he does know his true identity is a person of his word, and integrity. He’ll find that missing person.
@anniewalker56833 жыл бұрын
No mention of how she duped him into raising and paying for another man's child - I mean, children... He changed his entire life to revolve around and accommodate her and those 2 kids. And she cheated on him for 4 years? YEARS?!?!? Simply unforgivable! 😡😡
@michaelmorris83023 жыл бұрын
How do you make a mistake for 4 years? But to each their own.
@MetalSStar1963 жыл бұрын
@@michaelmorris8302 Affairs aren't mistakes. They're homewrecker plots until someone gets caught. But, one thing that is for certain- and any single man would know this- is that there is always another itchy wife looking for a quick fling after the previous affair goes downhill. None of us cares about the consequences because those aren't our consequences to bear, but the married half. It is what it is.
@patrickcannell22583 жыл бұрын
I know is such cases where KNOWINGLY women have bluffed the man they are married to to.raise other mens children.
@TechnoMageB53 жыл бұрын
That's why, emotionally, she's dead as far as he's concerned. Not a care in the world anymore.
@AM-ko4pi3 жыл бұрын
Not to mention the man had thought he was passing down his genes to 3 children, but now it’s only 1. He wanted all his time and effort with a family that was an illusion
@Golfing4223 жыл бұрын
Wow, what went through his head was he was this loyal guy who went to work to take care of her, while she was some other man’s booty call for nothing in return. I was left by a cheating wife for another man at 42. Life goes on and there are better people out there. I’ve done all the things since that I was denied when I was with my ex wife. I too was that loyal man who went to work and dealt with life while she played. My life blossomed after she was gone.
@ironxy3 жыл бұрын
Yeah she was crushed, boo-hoo, blah blah blah… She had decades to come clean though, and chose not to go. What about that? She claims that she realized how selfish she was being blah blah blah, but didn’t have the maturity to give him the choices as to whether he wanted to stay or go. She’s still being selfish. She still doesn’t want to face the full penalty of her transgression against her loving husband, and their marriage. She didn’t come clean on her own. She was found out. The lie of omission was the one she perpetuated.
@nufvcosta3 жыл бұрын
"Everyone I've talked with says I've had an amazing life with my wife", so don't ruin it. That life was a LIE. And whoever says this is clearly biased towards her. How can he wake up in the morning and look at her face? What else did she keep secret? He'll never be able to be around the skank, I mean, 4 YEARS?! And I doubt this was the only fling too, but even if it wasn't, its 1 FOUR YEARS fling too many.
@toothlessgrin043 жыл бұрын
My coworker's dad had an entire family with another woman... his mom forgave him, but according to him, she would wake up randomly and start beating on his dad. You can never really forgive and forget like people who have never dealt with this type of betrayal goes through.
@thomasmilazzo62733 жыл бұрын
It seems she was more faithful to her AP, who actually did have all the facts.....and the pussy. What a shame.
@lastofus4563 жыл бұрын
Ruin it Horse Shit. She Ruined it.
@juan83123 жыл бұрын
"I broke you PLEASE STAY WITH ME" "You had 2 KIDS WITH ANOTHER MAN AND MADE ME RAISE THEM" "WAAAAA, WAAAAAAA, DONT LEAVE ME, WAAAAA."
@kazejah10143 жыл бұрын
LOLOLOL
@sytzedantuma34313 жыл бұрын
im sorry he accepts this
@svayjeetsingh9033 жыл бұрын
I just hope he treats his kids the same after this
@kessiawright17103 жыл бұрын
@@sytzedantuma3431 He hasn't accepted it. He is just living in the same house now and doing whatever he wants.
@kessiawright17103 жыл бұрын
@Ivaiyo Ivanov Brainwashed with what?
@hilaryc32033 жыл бұрын
She did this to him, he took it and had the last straw. He's had some sort of a mental snap and lost his identity and he started to sound like a teenager. This is a strange and depressing story.
@ravenzyblack2 жыл бұрын
He created a NEW identity where HE comes first, for once in his life. He sounds like a man who finally can move on on HIS term not hers. He literally spent 33 years bending over backwards to protect, and provide for a family and life that was based on a LIE. THREE DECADES of being deceived by the one person who claims to “Love” him. Giving up promotions for his FAMILY. Sacrificing for his FAMILY. Only to learn she committed Paternity Fraud.
@rickp893810 ай бұрын
He turned down promotions, said they weren't rich, and had no drama. That's why she cheated.
@kumokundomo97053 жыл бұрын
I bet she had multiple affairs. It's just one that she was caught in and now feels bad because she was caught. Four years isn't a mistake tbh. It's a degree in cheating.
@heydeez57153 жыл бұрын
😭😭😭thats a degree😭😭😭😭noooooo
@shadmanhasan42053 жыл бұрын
Yup. If that was "just a 1-time thing" Senerio #1: It's true = she's willing to take it to her grave decieving her husband Scenario #2: Its a *LIE* = she's a run on the mills 304... NOT A "LOVING WIFE".. just a con artist.
@askalon78173 жыл бұрын
4 years this is one year longer than a Collage in Germany goes
@trentberry69683 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@TheRedkid203 жыл бұрын
Hell it may have been a doctorate who knows she may have been cheating for more of those years before the marriage.
@jasontokio15913 жыл бұрын
A mistake doesn't last 4 yrs....
@edwardcoit97483 жыл бұрын
Based on what he wrote he deserves this. Weak. Divorce move on.
@ky0153 жыл бұрын
29 years of lies (the oldest daughter’s age)
@darianwells91913 жыл бұрын
@@edwardcoit9748 how did he deserve it?
@edwardcoit97483 жыл бұрын
Vox Deus No not immune but he is weak. If my wife did this I would file for divorce immediately. No questions. He did a no longer a victim. If he stays with her he is being an accessory after the fact.
@fjh35013 жыл бұрын
The affair probably only ended when the dude got sick with cancer. I dont buy her "I realised it was a mistake" bs. The two daughters are 4 years apart but the affair was probably significantly longer.
@JorgeRodriguez-po1fy3 жыл бұрын
I hate the “oh they were young excuse.” Like are you kidding me!! Once you turn 18 you are an ADULT!!!!! By 18 you can separate whats right from whats wrong. I hate that bullshit excuse she knew exactly what she was doing and i bet they had to stop cause the other man’s wife found out. People who use that excuse are despicable, condescending, and narcissistic. GOSH THAT PISSES ME OFF !!!!
@Butmunch6662 жыл бұрын
He was young too and didn't fuck his neighbour for 4 years.
@BW0223 жыл бұрын
I hate it in these stories the wife says she didn't know for sure that the children weren't yours. Even 30 years ago, they had DNA testing. You could have found out. That makes it worse. I didn't know if the first baby was yours so I didn't get tested or tell you, but I continued having unprotected sex with this guy for years more and got pregnant again... and didn't get a test done?
@HygorBH3 жыл бұрын
God, this man is broken. The way he sounded during his trip... he doesn’t have any negative feelings towards his wife... because he just doesn’t care anymore. He took off on a road trip and just... became a free person for a few days. Like, basically told his workplace to bite him, and even turned off his phone to not have anyone bother him. That’s pretty terrifying IMO...
@ProOcho1163 жыл бұрын
The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Hope he's living his best life. Personally, I'd have bounced within weeks, bought a bachelor pad and live hard af!
@tobymcgroby89673 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of Walter White, Post Skyler & Ted Beneke
@calvinatdrifterstudio84383 жыл бұрын
He has been emotionally surviving off of his family, and this was cut off suddenly. It's unlikely that he will survive very long like this :(
@wardkeith83853 жыл бұрын
The kids did nothing to you, being dead is another thing altogether. Dead is not for anyone to do on purpose Ever!
@jamegumb72983 жыл бұрын
@@wardkeith8385 The kids did do something. They exist and are not his. They are taking his money under the pretense of him being a dad, he is not. And despite what they say, they go over to the other family and play nice and brother and sister, so they cannot think of him as their actual father.
@AIBot9293 жыл бұрын
This story was a ride, finding out his kids aren't his, triggered so much from contemplating death, to a full on mid life crisis, to an existential crisis.
@geniseguy57713 жыл бұрын
Yeah this story was a lot. The parents really need some major therapy. The dad's way to deal with the issues is decide on suicide and keep suggesting it in the post. Ugh! Something doesn't seem right too me😒😐
@shells500tutubo3 жыл бұрын
@@geniseguy5771 He said his whole life was he wife and kids, and now he doesn't have that life. That seems about right to have the suicidal thinking, which passed as time went on. He now has the healthier reaction of doing his own thing, which he never considered in the last 33 years.
@felixtag51213 жыл бұрын
his wife realy has triggered a full on midlife crisis. sad story - hope he will find a way to deal with all of this...
@superchuck32593 жыл бұрын
@Ghettobible He literally took a vacation from his problems. His Wife is the problem!
@andrefranciscosoares31193 жыл бұрын
@@geniseguy5771 its was still in is mind even if not at the front
@chazzmichaelmichaels57662 жыл бұрын
After the first child, where did she get the time to cheat and make a second kid? She had to actively seek to keep the affair going with time management skills. Now you know why men are opting out of marrige.
@cyrillesu3 жыл бұрын
Could you imagine having 2 kids in your affair before realizing you truly love your husband? I'm surprised their marriage lasted that long.
@changobango90013 жыл бұрын
Isn’t anybody going to point out that her sister is also complicit in this betrayal? She knew her sister was sleeping with another man for four years and had two children with him, yet she let her brother in law think those two children were his?! Both of these women have ZERO INTEGRITY. 2 hours to compose her thoughts? More like two hours to try and figure out what to say in order to salvage her relationship with her husband... This guy has my heartfelt sorrow and prayers, hope he can find the path forward for himself. ✌🏽
@robc71623 жыл бұрын
2 hours to compose herself because it brought back all the memories of the AP who she clearly loved far more than her husband based on the level of risk she took.
@aaronmontgomery20553 жыл бұрын
I mean sorry but family over others. While I don't condone the sisters actions of keeping the secret but at least she was trying to stop her. If my brother did this I would keep his secret. I get that it is morally wrong to some people but for my morals, my family is the most important and no matter what my husband's wife isn't my family (joke, unless those Alabama banjos ring) and I was taught no matter what, no matter the crime I protect my brother.
@TheFirstFTW3 жыл бұрын
@@aaronmontgomery2055 You will allow someone to live a lie for over 30 years, damn and thought I was cold blooded.
@LittleMegaNeko3 жыл бұрын
@@TheFirstFTW family first. If my sister did that, I would keep my mouth damn shut. I don't give a crap about morality regarding people outside of my family. If it keeps my loved ones safe, you bet I will cut a few throats. Cheating is not OK, and i wouldn't pat her on the back for it, but i also would NEVER tell her husband that.
@TheFirstFTW3 жыл бұрын
@@LittleMegaNeko 😨🤢🤮
@hopelove8973 жыл бұрын
The audacity from other people telling him it was a mistake and just forgive her. I would be more pissed there. There is no way people are that inbred to suggest that
@csilla30853 жыл бұрын
They probably think he should just get over it bc he's "too old" to find love and new purpose in his life. bullshit, I'm so happy for this man for just saying fuck it all and travel around, meets new people, does what he truly wants to do. I hope he opens that bar he mentioned. He deserves a new, better life.
@dbabu513 жыл бұрын
I would physically hurt anybody who says that to fix their brains
@Skyliav3 жыл бұрын
It's not about "just forgiving them", but if this was my friend, I would tell them to at least try and forgive their partner for their own sake. If he would have been able to forgive his wife, he probably would have been much happier. He couldn't and that's perfectly fine, it's not his fault after all, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have tried. What has happened has happened and you are free to chose whatever makes you happy, and if that means forgiving - good for you.
@hopelove8973 жыл бұрын
@@Skyliav what the friends and family are saying is that he should forgive her and act as if nothing happened. To still treat her the same and continue as a normal family. They even go as far as to say that she was a good mother and a wife. Ridiculous. If is about forgiveness for your own sake thats okay. No reason to hate or resent her. But do not treat her as a wife anymore, and in all honesty he should divorce her and not have to deal with her again.
@Orjahlian3 жыл бұрын
In their defense, it may be that they are worried for his mental health and truly think she has reformed, and that she may be what he needs to stay stable after such a life-rocking discovery - but I would still at least preface me giving that advice with "you have every right to be pissed and never forgive her, and move on from her, you have faced a betrayal at the level of which few will ever experience." Or it could be that they pity the wife in the same way, but I should hope that they would prioritize the victim over the victimized here.
@Skarfp2 жыл бұрын
Don't let mistakes of the past rob you from your wonderful "right now", and your future of happiness.
@bigrich6933 жыл бұрын
This one hurt me. I felt the pain of the OP. I was in a situation where I found out about my ex cheating, things is we were engaged. If it wasn’t for covid cancelling our wedding, I feel like this ultimately would have been my future. This is really fucked up. I hope h find peace because I’m sure everything s pure chaos!
@jakequirit67573 жыл бұрын
From my perspective, if she really loved her husband for 33 years, she would've come clean earlier. But then she chose to keep it a secret because she's afraid of losing the man, that right there fellas ain't love. It's selfishness. Love is letting someone go when you know you don't deserve them.
@heydeez57153 жыл бұрын
WOKE UP AND CHOSE TO SPEAK FACTS
@ignacioariellopez84913 жыл бұрын
Love and selfshiness sometimes go one by the side of each other. Not saying that what the wife really feels is love or anything, but sometimes (And mostly it comes down to how individual people decide to face problems) being selfish and taking something to "the grave" is actually a way of love, by not wanting to hurt the person you care. Again, not saying this is the case, but, if she was really haunted all those years by it and still decided to shut it up, maybe it could be that she actually came to terms with her past and mistakes, matured and became a better person, what would be the point to possibly ruin the life of someone you love IF you already overcame your past, became a better a person, AND that your feelings towards your partner (Or whatever) is actually genuine? Just for the sake of "letting him know the truth"? To be fair, if all these conditions are met, telling them just so you feel "better" about yourself cause now you dont have to be haunted by your past mistakes and you dont have to carry that kind of cross on your back everyday to your last breath, only to ruin your partners life and share the charge with them, to me, that is actually the most selfish, and not loving action at all. Once again, i know most if not all cases are like this, but i only think that being selfish can be a prove of geniune love if everything that i said is that way. We all make mistakes, whether because stupidity, inmaturity, whatever. Ill probably wouldnt be able to overcome all of this as op did, but that doesnt mean that because she was willing to take it to the grave that she was being lying, or didnt love him at all. As op said, they didnt even had great incomes, they werent rich, not even up normal, i dont think i see a reason that she is "afraid" of losing benefits of staying with him. Could there be other things, thats for sure, maybe the fear to be left alone? Could be possible, i dont know, you dont know, anyone knows. Point is, being selfish, at least for some kind of people (Im included, so maybe this is only my way of seeing and approaching the life, and maybe it is not the right path im taking) is a way for people to overcome mistakes and bad thoughts or actions, and also a way (By carrying with all the trauma once you acknowledge it, instead of sharing it) it is a proof, or rather an action of genuine love.
@laststrike44113 жыл бұрын
@@ignacioariellopez8491 All this text to spout total bullshit. I'm impressed.
@ignacioariellopez84913 жыл бұрын
@@laststrike4411 How is it total bullshit? Explain, i dont really see wheres the "bullshit" you are saying.
@TheRedkid202 жыл бұрын
Amen
@joshuagumm84853 жыл бұрын
She’s only crushed because she got caught. There is no remorse.
@bellasmom25973 жыл бұрын
Yes. She was heartless for all 33 years.
@jimmorris88793 жыл бұрын
If the father of two of her children was still alive she would most likely be different. She is nasty piece of work.
@s.boundless31633 жыл бұрын
Right. Also because she understands that there is a high probability that she will die alone. Much harder to bounce back at this point.
@windy493 жыл бұрын
Yeah and you KNOW this how???
@Niveous233 жыл бұрын
@@windy49 because she's never shown true remorse the entirety of the marriage, only after the evidence is clear and she is already caught. remorseful people aren't happy people. she was a happy wife for decades.
@davidmason57193 жыл бұрын
This is what happens when you base your entire existence on someone else. Man had no close friends but he’s cheating wife, made compromises based on said cheating wife. He might have had a different life he was a bit more selfish but I guess he’s like that because he never knew his father and probably wanted to be the opposite…oh wait another unnecessary influence that put him in a box
@ravenzyblack2 жыл бұрын
Let’s not forget, his own mother took the secret of his paternal father to her grave. Then his wife was going’s to do the same thing with her daughters. If not for the DNA test they would never have known. Both women who had the greatest influence in his life were absolutely evil.
@82dorrin2 жыл бұрын
Listening to this story was like listening to someone get broken in real time.
@frankconley63213 жыл бұрын
Leave her. Your kids are yours, she is not. You will NEVER trust or respect her again. A man can live alone and be happy. DO THAT.
@SomeBlackDude263 жыл бұрын
The kids aren't his either.
@8House3 жыл бұрын
@@SomeBlackDude26 They're probably never going to look at him the same way they did before all this came to light. She destroyed everything and no matter his high intentions I don't see a happy ending to this.
@SomeBlackDude263 жыл бұрын
@@8House They won't see him the same. They'll always want to know who their real father is and they'll pity him for raising them. Nothing will ever be the same. The relationships are totally destroyed.
@logalogalog3 жыл бұрын
The son IS both of theirs.
@subhankarbaral92363 жыл бұрын
@@logalogalog Yeah, I guess the son is getting the whole lot of the property from OP. The son can actually claim all the property since he is the actual child of OP. The daughters, on the other hand, shouldn't even dare to ask for anything from OP.
@addisonsherrod4083 жыл бұрын
As the old saying goes, “your mistakes will find you”.
@JIX9ISLER19863 жыл бұрын
This was not a ''mistake'' this was 4 years of bad DECISIONS She had full agency
@addisonsherrod4083 жыл бұрын
@@JIX9ISLER1986 true. But “mistake” is a subjective term. It meant your bad decisions will find you.
@stephenclay27633 жыл бұрын
The saying is "Be sure your sin will find you out."
@JIX9ISLER19863 жыл бұрын
@Jose Diaz disgusting
@WackRusDud3 жыл бұрын
"Mistake" is a one night stand with someone else and then confessing about it to the SO a short while later (unforgivable. Let the heads roll) This? Ohhh.... The nerve to even fucking breathe... And some even wonder why marriage had lost it's meaning.
@tamorap16143 жыл бұрын
How can a person live and pretend to have a normal life knowing he/she has done something so despicable. Maybe a sociopath. Maybe she was one.
@elinfelicia3822 жыл бұрын
This is by far the most depressing thing I’ve read on reddit. He’s not even in his youth anymore and has lived most of his life out with that cheater. Even if they got a divorce now, what then?
@victordanilov91873 жыл бұрын
I honestly feel so bad for him, I’m glad that he was able to somewhat find himself but this is the biggest mid life crisis I’ve ever heard of
@brentfarvors1923 жыл бұрын
Not really, if you think about the situation; Might as well go wild; Not like she wont be able to find another sucker to raise them!
@csilla30853 жыл бұрын
I don't see it as a crisis. It looks like he has given a second chance at life and he's not missing out on anything for anyone, this time. He mentioned in his post that he turned down promotions and better payment bc he wanted to be a father first and foremost, so he never really lived up to his potential. Now he doesn't have to worry about all these things.
@jesuschristislord77543 жыл бұрын
He got ra-
@jesuschristislord77543 жыл бұрын
-ped in a way that only a woman can do to a man's entire existence.
@vond58293 жыл бұрын
Midlife crisis comes naturally, it’s a psychological and biological thing. This is intentional stimulus and the man have been given a chance to really think about who the hell he is. Marriage blindsighted him
@sweetpea68143 жыл бұрын
The fact he had no one to truly confide in says to me his whole world was wrapped up in his wife and kids. They always tell married women not to do that in case he leaves you but this poor man didn't see it coming!
@dc13972 ай бұрын
She lied continuously for 33 years. It wasn't just the "mistake" of a four year long raging cheatfest.
@chrisstro6692bolc2 жыл бұрын
This is a common story, that is popping up more often. I have found out of two cousins in my family that i didnt know that i had through Ancestory, on my dads side of the family. No one is saying anything and most of my uncles are dead except for one.
@knithappens17573 жыл бұрын
I can’t even imagine how you can not only cheat on someone you claim to love enough times to become pregnant twice, and then keep it hush hush and act like everything’s fine for 3 decades.
@CheapGodiva3 жыл бұрын
Hoes is hoes is hoes man.
@mistermoggy87072 жыл бұрын
i suspect it never ended until ap died, and op was lucky that he had a son. everything else was a lie to diminish the truth that op was the backup guy- he gave her the stability to have an affair. it took her 2hrs in the toilet to figure out what she could justify. and she was being calm at the end hoping that he would stay and continue supporting her.
@steffenjonda82832 жыл бұрын
At last 20-30% of all kids are not from the married partner... we see on tv allways that sneaky evil guy, betraying his good and nice wife. But - in reality for every son of a bitch there is a whore who did it with him. That wife had been done. If she would have had an affair, gets pregnant (but is ignorant), fine. But to cheat 4 years, get two kids from the other guy and claim not to know it - kick that whore out. She ruined everything. Still - his behaviour later on is plain shit. If he has nothing left for the whore, fine. End it. But to use her - makes him as bad as she is.
@infinitymixtapes95622 жыл бұрын
Not to mention the implication of her having repeated unprotected sex with that man while also with her husband. There’s being selfish and there’s being blatantly irresponsible with your partner’s health
@Izzmonster3 жыл бұрын
4 years isn't a "mistake". OP definitely lost his damn mind tho.
@borisgetman92223 жыл бұрын
I am surprised she didn’t tell him that she cheated only 2 times ever and both times got pregnant.
@GoldenLeafsMovies3 жыл бұрын
@@borisgetman9222 I feel like people forget details, she didn't know the kids were not her husband, and she was very spoiled when young, of course this does not make her actions right, but it explains them. She did seem like a nice mother/wife later in life, but I feel like people paint her like a crazy bitch. She can't fix things just accept the consequences and move forward, or end herself.
@laststrike44113 жыл бұрын
@@GoldenLeafsMovies She didn't know for sure either. And apparently, for her, that was A-Okay.
@GoldenLeafsMovies3 жыл бұрын
@@laststrike4411 Yeah, she just kept everything to herself and hoped to be a better wife/mother. Sadly she'll just have to accept the consequences of her actions.
@ravenzyblack2 жыл бұрын
Golden-Leaf- That’s just it. She wasn’t going to accept the consequences because she was actually not repenting for what she did. She only confessed after the DNA test revealed the truth. She was going to take the truth to the grave. That’s not a remorseful person. THAT is what a LIAR does. She let him raise two children that weren’t his. She got to have her cake and eat it too, for 33 years.
@brandongray58233 жыл бұрын
Wow was that a rollercoaster ride or what? Write a book about it! I am not much of a reader but damn you had me hooked to the end! I am so glad you came around and decided to live life!! Wish you the best in all you do!!
@TheAdrinachrome1 Жыл бұрын
It really is time to start pressing for mandatory dna tests at birth. We need to flood our senators and congressmen with letters, we need to refuse to pay child support for kids who the only reason we are on their birth certificate is because of a lie, even if you love them, even at the risk of jail, we need to do this for our sons and grandsons. We need to make a change.