1q111QA 11

Can you give me the link?

S1: tell her to piss off. It’s that simple. S2: unless it’s with your partner, or your friends partner. It’s non of your business, Non of your concern, and most importantly Not Your Problem. S3: get some over the counter anti-depressants, you’ll forget again soon enough. If your lucky you’ll eventually stop caring.

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/sNR9n9GIzNy6ho0.html

@@KE-hr4sb If you stayed through the whole video, OP fills in later that he did divorce her very early on. It went smoothly because no one could find her to be in the court proceedings. And if they couldn't find her to get her there, there's no fucking way they found her to tell her she's been legally booted out.

@@MissOnana See above edit to comment. I paused the video to comment then continued, and addressed it.

@@KE-hr4sb it’s a way to get a divorce without the other spouse signing papers

And thanks to this comment so am I

wait cant he file something for her to lose custody of the kid

I did. My ex told the judge that she wouldnt sign the divorce document the judge told her it didnt matter and he granted the divorce

@@nertz4579 Good for you!!!

Divorces (like any legal proceeding) can be filed and issued judgements with only ne party present. People act like if they aren't handed the actual papers, they don't have to deal with it. Eventually, a judge will render a summary verdict with a missing spouse in absentia.

🤣 ikr

After 3 or 5 years, not sure which.

This. The person with the longer, better documented paper trail is often the one who wins things in the end.

You the man, I would have not thought about that. Great advice

That was just wonderful! Universe pulled a "hell nawh" and karma'd all over that situation.

Funny to me because something very similar happened to me (just a lot less extreme). Basically my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with one of my close friends, who was also in a relationship. After a while me and my close friends ex got together, and lasted 2 years, while my cheating ex girlfriends relationship with my close friend lasted less than a month 💀

What I don't like about it is that he lied to his son about his birth mother. Maybe you sugarcoat the truth but you don't outright lie about it.

@@derrickbonsell neither did i, but looking at it from his pov, it is understandable that he had claimed her dead to him hence he told his son what he felt about her.

@@derrickbonsell it’s a difficult situation. I missed how old the child was when he was told she died but I can tell you from person experience, having your birth mother leave and being told that when you’re 2-3 years old leaves deep seated issues of abandonment that are difficult to repair even if others remain to provide a loving and caring household.

I live in another country and english isn't my native language so I'll try to explain what happened to me in the 80's the best I can. My mother just up and left when I was 8. She sometimes wrote a card for my birthday and for christmas then stopped altogether. For over 5 years we didn't know where she was or if she was still alive. During all of this she never paid a single cent in child support to my father. When I was 17, she called my grandma's house which I happened to be at very often and asked for me. Saying she wanted to mend our relationship. I indulged her for a while thinking naively that there was still something to be saved. But before my 18th birthday my father showed me all his documents. I saw that she never paid any child support and that she told the court that she didn't even want to have custody of me. They asked her 3 times and 3 times she said she forfeits custody. The trigger was when she happily called and said she was pregnant with my half brother. I waited patiently until she gave birth to not endanger the child but after that told her to F*** off and be a real mother to that other child. Because he didn't deserve to go through the same mess. Admitted I was a bit jealous and upset she had replaced me, but also to me it seemed like she waited this long just to rub it in my face. She could have had a child much sooner, so why now after all this time and so dangerously close to her being 40? Also, I didn't want to create a golden child situation, where she would make him the golden child or vice versa. I cut off contact and since there was no social media back then it was fairly easy and I never heard of her or her family again. I'm glad I never had to get a RO or to deal with flying monkeys like so many other people when they go NC with toxic ex-family members. Just because it sounds so aweful doesn't mean it has to be fake and I highly doubt many people with similar stories in other countries have even heard of reddit.

@@Allmight_Kitty From this experience I think guys like you and I come out of it with some baggage but also some strengths. Sure there were the abandonment issues, and I also have to constantly fight against having a deep seated mistrust of women. However I have my 2 young boys and a loving wife, that I will never take for granted. Family comes first for me I think in large part because mine was broken. I hope you find the peace you deserve.

@@markkelley8067 that's hard, man. I'm right now in this kind of situation. My wife is abusive, I can't live with her, she says if you want divorce go for it and take our 1year old baby.

@@Allmight_Kitty god i feel this. I had contact with my bio father for many years but it ended because i learned what he was (he made the local news in and around my state). I have abandonment issues because of his family and himself. I managed to tell him and his family fuck off when i got adopted (which i asked for) and i essentially said go away. He tried to tell me in letters that he has a girlfriend now and that he thinks i would like her and i sat here going ‘bitch i barely know who you are’. Hated it. Glad i got him out of my life

im sorry to be mean but the people that dont believe the story wont just change their mind because of some random youtube comment say so.

That relationship is fucking adorable😊😊😊

Yep no way Jose. She hit the wall and was now looking for a safety net but op should say no way.

she wanted her family "back", she never had family in the first place!

But what does this Jose mean?

@@piyushsharma3991 it's José.

@@piyushsharma3991 Spanish for Joe and/or Joseph.

XD cosmic steamroller, Nice! Also, agreed. I would have thrown hands, crazy as I am.

ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ

@Nebo600 I will use this analogy(I don't know the other words, my english knowledge is pretty limited) in another time, will you allowed it?

It's just the people who have to much good in their heart

OP most certainly does not feel bad for her. He shouldn't have lied to his child about her dying in an accident, but he was right about one thing, she's dead to him. Lmao

@J. M. I know, I mentioned OP "put a ring on it" as in marrying her

She pulled an epic mum move there. She IS without a doubt that kiddo's mum.

Despite the kid not being hers by blood, it's her son

Even for some of the most conservative countries in the world you file for divorce on grounds of abandonment after a year, in fact, in some countries that practice arranged marriages, this loophole is used to give women a clean break from an unwanted marriage without the normal stigma of divorce. The ex-wife probably had a delusion that OP spent the last ten years sitting around waiting for her to come back.

@@chaosreaver3597 man the Ex is crazy,i understand if this happening only for few months, probably the husband can't get over it yet,but it was over 10 years. The husband clearly get over her and moving on.

In some countries this is common. I know a woman who has been tied to an ex for fifteen years and cannot get it finalized. In the USA this sort of thing is common. Often moving on and effectively being divorced and re married socially, but legally still tied to an ex because money and red tape is needlessly cumbersome in this regard here. Most people cannot afford to actually deal with it. Edit: the woman I know has been with her current partner for about nine or ten years and they are not legally married because of it. An extremely common situation to be in here. Often to the point people often, especially in lower income communities, will simply acknowledge a long term partner as husband/wife and acknowledge the ex as just an ex husband the government just hasn't acknowledged yet. I think local governments ignore that it's supposed to be a way to census this stuff and not actually supposed to restrict or control people. Effectively it's less available. Unless your homeless. Then they wave the fees. Most people are somewhere in between. Not so little as to be homeless but not enough to be able to even begin to afford the fees they'd be required to pay. Edit: my mother died in a similar situation. Not fifteen years more like four years and didn't find anyone for two years, but yeah. Just saying. It's common. It's a luxury of upper and upper middle class to put overly much value in the paperwork. I wish I myself could afford to.

Yeah, that's called love.

Works the other way too. Super attractive people often become repulsive when you get to know them.

It works in both directions depends on if you like them or not....if you find that you're enjoying yourself when they're around, they start looking good, if they drain you, bruh.😐

When I first start being serious with my partner, other women arround me would tell me in a very sincere way that I could do better bc he his way uglier than me. Guess what? Almost 2 years living together and I find him more attractive each day. My ex is the kind of guy that a lot of guys wish to be but I wouldn't trade. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I love my giant ugly teddy bear ❤️❤️.

@@mattwho81 you know i have wondered, those shallow people who use rating and believe it in... If they catch that 9-10 and realise they are rotten inside, are they able to ditch rating or do they just try pull thru with fake smile?

She will owe child support, but looks like she doesn't even have much money

if he did sue for child support she would probably declare bankruptcy, its what my parents did when the courts told them to give money to my sister after abusing her

@@InitialPC L parents.

Hell naw cause the court might give her visitation rights

@David Campbell you still file anyways.. eventually she shows up in the system and has to pay the reprocutions.. the filing is to make things more solid and official.. even if you dont see a single cent from her..but eventually it will catch up to them if it has been filed...such as in the form of her drivers license no longer being valid exc.. file anyways and make sure you got a good lawyer...go to a higher law judge...fight and dont look back...ever..if you are raising you little babies you fight for them no matter what...and at the very least you make sure their mother never comes back legally without your approval..

@@rebelangel8227 no no no that's not how that works. If she starts paying it since her paycheck would be levied she may "recover" and the courts may approve her for visitation. There is no need to file for child support as any possible restitution he may get will only hurt his child and family.

@@rebelangel8227 Have a friend who's wife up and left him and their daughter. He filed for custody since she abandoned them. After 5 years he filed for child support. The bitch came back and was given the child. My friend did not see his child again until she was 18. So no do not as the father ever do that. Just eat the cost so you can keep your kid.

how*

I love this comment oml

She saw too many toxic "romantic" netflix movies

Life time movies were a part of my childhood that I hated.

@@laz981 Mine too lmao

On some "Johnni come lately" type shit.

Exactly! If OP is uncomfortable with their therapist in any way, they need to switch therapists.

@Kageyama’s Milk I’ve never understood why instead of getting mad at their partner, it’s always the “other” man/woman who gets all the hate when they probably didn’t even know they were being used to cheat on someone. I mean I know there are people out there who participate in the cheating knowing that the person they’re messing around with is married/ in a relationship, but I feel like a lot of the time they are being duped also.

@@kmbaldwin5325 if they know, they are guilty too, perhaps not as guilty, but still guilty. If they don't know, then they too are an innocent party as they are also in effect, been cheated on. These are 2 very different circumstances and it makes all the difference which it is. I can understand not liking the other man/woman but unless they are actively aware, there is no need for hate, direct that at the cheater. But then the person been cheated on isn't thinking logically about this, so their hate may be misdirected. There is also a 3rd group, the rarest, and often misunderstood group, the aware affairs, were both sides know about the other and accept it, not always happily but they make the choice to accept it.

From his story it seems that the therapist is a family friend (his mother's friend) and he probably afraid it will offend his mother.

@@kos2919 If his mom cared that much about her she probably wouldn't be gossiping about the therapist's cheating

I disagree, he needs to know, and know the circumstances surrounding her absence as to prevent manipulation in the future from the toxic ex.

Smart lady.

Your mom is absolutely right

It's good to hear that there's people with such a healthy mindset out there

well i mean.. as humans we are literally wired to want to be with other people, trying to force ourselves to be happy with just ourselves just seems unnatural

It was good that the ex's family was supportive or at least agreed with the OP

It not that easy the that story not true u have to wait until ten years u have to go to court to get them the get the divorce it take year's and money u have to pay to find her it was good fake story . Did people forget she had a baby see would been found has a miss person people go crazy sometimes after having a baby . Everyone would be looking for her . Just for her .

@@t123tina no no you don’t you do not need to stalk an adult. She left with her affair partner story is true

Unless it was a false accusation I don't think what happen to AP counts as just karma.

@@selimkarayl7823 why? He’s in prison and her life sucks sounds awesome to me? What’s not just about it?

And to make matters worse, she's going to be the one to owe child support, especially since she *_abandoned_* her son and husband for her affair partner!

she prob would've stolen the kid bro.

Since she left when the kid was about 6 months, and when she came back he was about 10, child development-wise since she wasn’t there for the formative 2-5 year old mile marker of child bonding, the boy will never see her as his mother thankfully and even moreso when he grows up and learns the truth.

_AN_ AP, not _THE_ AP.

The therapist been an AP has no bearing on their ability to do their job. As the saying goes "Do as I say, not as I do", people have always offered advice they themselves can't follow, doesn't make the advice any less valid. But if OP is uncomfortable with the therapist, get a new one, that's their choice. As for professional standards, the therapist has done nothing wrong, they haven't brought their affair into the appointments, they have kept the appointments professional, OP only knows because they took the inappropriate step of violating their therapists privacy by looking into their personal life, an act which if the therapist was aware of, they would immediatly terminate their sessions with OP.

@@brianbarber5401 tbh I agree but you missed the major flaw in that arguement. You never know if a therapist won't be biased, or of they give good advice. All you can do is find one that works with you. Therapists are people too, they will all have their own biases regardless, some may be affair partners, some may be the victims of an affair, both will be biased differently. Been an AP doesn't immediatly make the therapist invalid, all it does is mean they hold a different viewpoint (not one I agree with). For all we know they are exceptionally guilty, or really good at separating their work and personal lives, aka been professional which a good therapist should be. It's odd people expect therapists to be perfect people, when in reality they are just as (if not more) screwed up as everyone else, afterall therapists can't traditionally seek therapy (atleast not easily).

@@brianbarber5401 Why do you think an affair partner is cheating? Yes it's awful to be with someone who's in a relationship, but they are not the ones cheating. They are not the one who promised to be faithful to the partner.

@ThePatUltra is cheating on people and being an affair partner being "immersed" in the subject matter?

That therapist was your ex friend in a wig.

@@robertross45 🤣😂 oh man I didn’t even think about that!

@@Taylorevaaa Careful, I could be your ex friend in a wig as well!

@@Taylorevaaa Knext time you are with friends or family, compliment their hair and ask if you can touch it. A light tug should be a quick and easy way to verify their identity.

@@robertross45 thanks! I definitely will start checking! Oh by the way is that a wig you’re wearing?

He didn't think she come back after 10 years

Perhaps even have that conversation during a family counselling session. Definitely wait till he is older. Honestly, abandonment has to hurt more than thinking your bio mum died - she left you on purpose and that is way too big to process as a child/teen.

@@OddlyElly Thats my thought process. Id rather think my parent is dead then know they abandoned me at such a young age. At least in one I can mire an image that my parent cared about me. The other is an image filled with self hate, loathing, and all around mental health discrepencies for a young child. Better for them to think the parent is dead then suffer the issues that abandonement put on a young mind, which is a lot of problems.

And that mentality is exactly what is wrong with this world. People who feel they can police others private actions and try to ruin their lives and careers for some implied slight are , frankly, pitiful. Another Karen Cause. If you don’t like the therapist then find another. Reporting her for something that is essentially gossip is slander (and potentially liable) if she can’t prove her allegations. This cancel culture bs is pathetic.

So you're completely fine if someone finds some stain in your life that they don't like to get you fired and ruin your life?

Why do you keep calling therapists shinks?

@@theylorlr6677 it’s just a synonym for therapist. It’s just what I’ve called them for a long time.

@@nahboi483 Ah I see.

She??

They can't. That's the problem.

Straight up got dumped, probably even cheated on.

@@michal31131 he was charged for sexual assault lol

@@zLxtoa If she wasn't the one assaulted, he cheated regardless of him being a garbage human.

@Runer Warlock But then wouldn't she owe back child support? No cash for you.

You are saying that she is morally messed up but you have no evidence of it at all yeah and again that has nothing to do with him why are you in her private life the fuck

Stop telling people what to do weirdo

@@trublacking8572 loooooooooooool

@@chuckyyes looooooooooooooooooooooooool

Yeah, I think people forgot that that therapist said to forgive the cheater, which isn't the best thing to tell a victim.

She does needs therapy

It is in some states

It is in the military.

@@mikemike6808 Yeah but when you go into the military they flat out tell you we own you and everything you do now and you sign up for it that's not what happens when you go into the medical profession

@@angelicakaufman7183 Cheating is not right whatever the case, as anyone who has been on the other end can attest to. At the minimum they should lose their license as is unprofessional, that is completely reasonable. If I am a doctor and try to bang patients or nurses I can lose my license. If I am a CEO and try to bang subordinates or interns I can lose my job. Professional liability is a thing. Technically anyone can sue anyone over anything, the chance of them winning is the question at hand and if they should win. You can go bang who you want and call it whatever, I don't care and don't think others should either as is a free country. The only person it should matter to is the person they are intimate with. As such I couldn't care less, but if a professional is abusing their license for personal gain and on top of that is harming the very thing they are there to fix that is not a trend society should support in my opinion.

@@mikemike6808 OK but you're creating a situation in your example that is not what's going on in this post. Different. And I quite understand more than a lot of people what it's like to be cheated on FYI

There's actually some interesting stuff that goes into this! Who we are attracted to has a good deal to do not only with their looks and behavior, but also the way they smell! The human brain makes it so that we will naturally be attracted to people who would make a good child with us, even if we know nothing about how they look. Basically your nose picking up on pheromones in their scent without you even knowing, and saying this nicely compliments your traits. There was a whole experiment on it where people were blindfolded, no artificial scents were involved, and despite what the participants said they liked in someone, they usually didn't go for that. It's really cool, and likely part of why you'll hear people say they like to wear their SO's hoodie, shirt, etc. Because their smell is literally part of why they like them!

@@MissOnana lol...this is very interesting...me and my hubby have been married for 16 years now and I still love to steal his tee shirts he's worn for the day to sleep in at night. Who knew?

It depends on the country and state your in a lot of things changes depending on where you live

People can get divorced In Absentia, it's a legal pain in the butt but eventually it does happen.

In some states (not sure which), you can have a divorce in absentia. I'm not a lawyer, but if he's spent reasonable time to try and find her, the courts can go ahead with the divorce anyway.

Both men and women cheat on their SO's a lot often then you think.

@Nathan Ganga true

So men should just cheat first then.

@Nathan Ganga Every year I attend a uni reunion with twenty one old friends. All but one have husbands, wives or partners who we have been with for thirty plus years. Four of us had very short marriages before the successful one and number twenty two has never had a committed relationship. There are good and bad people of both sexes but I believe that a good partner is something to be deeply appreciated.

@Nathan Ganga Just like the 3rd story says, I'm so jaded I don't see the point in romantic relationships anymore. I don't hate women. I just don't trust them. Especially in a society that rewards their dishonesty.