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You might have heard of the story of Achilles, a prominent Greek mythological tale centered around a heroic warrior renowned for his strength and invulnerability, except for his heel. According to the myth, his mother Thetis dipped him in this magical river, but she held him by the heel so for the rest of his life (which spoiler alert didn’t last that long) he had this weak spot. And although we all know this is a myth we also all know people who will say: yup that’s their achilles - when pointing out someone’s shortcomings. And the problem I have with this is that it promotes the idea that we, especially our insecurities, are fixed. Forever.
In 2016 the New York Times put out a hit piece on me and other sex educators for well…not being all that formally educated. And while as a black and indian woman I know better than to elevate myself without reinforcement - the truth was without a university degree, my reinforcement wasn’t thick enough. There’s her achilles heel and people sure did kick it.
It bothered me because a) I’m human b) I love what I do and I’m good at it and I want for those who agree with those statements, to have an educator they were proud to champion, not one they had to constantly defend. So I started tryna figure this school thing out: I hired consultants, went on mentor lunches, and spoke with some leaders in my industry. The consensus was I didn’t need a formal education so why bother with the time, effort, and money it would take to get it. They did mention time right? So, with that I let it go for a couple more years until I finally admitted that maybe this weak ankle didn’t bother everyone, but it sure as hell was bugging me. So, in 2018, I enrolled in a bachelor's program at the state university of new york and thanks to my prior post-secondary education I was able to finish in two years. Through a pregnancy and a pandemic - yes I did that. THEN since I was already in the flow of school, I decided to enroll in my Masters of science in psychology at Arizona State University. Now it took me longer than any of my peers that I began with because I had some things to tend to along the way, but in December I completed this program with honors. Sidenote, I didn’t get to go to commencement because of a schedule conflict and although education is a place of pride, at this point in my life it can’t be my top priority. HOWEVER I did order all the fixings so I could celebrate this moment where my achilles became an accolade and I did it with my daughters present so they could see that real magic is not in the absence of vulnerabilities, it’s in the acknowledgement and diligent strengthening of them - Which often, is not possible to tackle alone.
And speaking of daring to do with the support of people who love you, come check me in 2029 and when you do, don’t forget to say doctor
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Music In this Video: MAGIC - open.spotify.com/track/3pCPfy...