Jared slander will not be allowed please. That man is a PRESENT husband and father, not that I know him in any capacity but Shan has always shared how involved, committed and supportive he is. And that's all that matters. At least she had support and someone with her during the delivery. Some of us were all alone.

I’ve always loved how articulate Shan is. It’s beautiful to see two working parents not only making space for their children, but making space for each other to continue to grow in this new space of parenthood.

I felt this way the first time it was uploaded and i feel this way still: it is absolutely BEAUTIFUL that Shan understands how important music is to Jared’s identity and self-actualisation. I love how Shan and Jared do all they can to not “lose themselves” in this new phase but rather keep growing and shifting. Too many parents end up resenting their kids

I think this is the realities of two parents with very active and creative careers. Our society’s old model of parenthood is outdated for two working parents, so that give and take is some of the best solves for a continuous parenting challenge. Kudos to you for being open and honest about the struggles and ways of balancing it.

I met jared at the moon in pisces SF show right before the LA show, and i remember when i said congrats on the new baby he just gushed about how beautiful xya is. I've been such a big fan of you both and part of why your love story is so so beautiful is bc it is honest and real even when it is not easy to be. It is so vulnerable to let an audience in on those tough conversations...admire you both so much.

Everything happens for a reason and I think putting this video up now, people can see how it all played out. How two people can work together to help each other elevate while the other holds it down at home. Now with you the one being gone, it comes full circle beautifully. Also, Loved the addition of the clips from the tour.

Love that you said model how different families make decisions/communicate. This is the one thing that makes your channel always stand out, you model hard, uncomfortable sometimes vulnerable conversations and this is truly a gem

This is so interesting because in many African cultures, the father typically isn't present for the birth. The mother's female relatives and friends are. The mother is usually held in this container of women for at least 10 days postpartum while she is supported, assisted and taught about motherhood. It's a beautiful time❤

shan, you’re maybe the only creator in this space that effortlessly models different relationship/family models time and time again and i’m so grateful for your vulnerability and truth❤️ it’s helped me grow in ways i couldn’t even begin to describe so thank you for your willingness to share this stuff even when it comes with backlash (which is ridiculous but 🤷🏽‍♀️)

I think it’s important that the two truths can be held that you were going to be sad and scared to endure birth without him and also that you’re joyfully supporting his growth and experience to tour. there’s always going to be complicated truths, and a strong relationship can welcome both and navigate it healthily. everyone sees jared lift your family up when you’re pursuing projects, so it’s silly you got the backlash you did.

I think it’s amazing that you both had trust and faith in your connection for you both to feel comfortable enough for him to go on tour at that point. Like, the birth is just one day in Xya’s life and one that she isn’t going to remember. His ability to show up consistently now and as she grows up is way more important in the big picture. And now y’all have a great story around her birth, you getting to welcome her into the world with your sister and Jared *almost making it back in time*.

Jared Brady is hands down one of the most considerate and kind people. He has developed his sense of empathy and his level of self awareness around how he shows up for his family. I am so glad he got this opportunity to fulfill this personal desire to elevate his craft. It was awesome to see him go on tour with full support of his wife and partner and family ❤️

In love with the line "Give us space to write our own script" 3:15

Shan, your attitude towards work, life and family is so beautiful and refreshing. I enjoy hearing how you’ve intentionally created your life .. even when it’s difficult or looks different. Even the bit about your morning routine! So many entrepreneurs start their mornings at 6 AM to get the most work done so it’s nice to (finally!) hear someone that sleeps in and starts at 10 AM on purpose! You clearly have an abundant mindset … and I’m so grateful to see it!

My husband was going to do a weekend trip related to work right before my first was born, but our baby came the day before he was going to leave. I would've been absolutely pissed if he missed it, even though I OKed him going. But that's ME. I think everyone should do whatever works in their situation. And sharing with others what works for them despite potential criticism is still important. I'm glad you brought this video back.

There’s fathers that were present for birth but not for the child’s growth. That one day doesn’t mean anything if they choose not to be there forever.

This is off topic but your style in the Squarespace ad is freaking phenomenal. You've found your colors! The pink lip, red hair, and green shirt all coordinate so well and really make you glow!

I feel like I grow as a person watching your content. I appreciate that so much.

Jared is so much more mature than when we were first introduced to him. His thought process today is incredible and and so uplifted and enlightened. Hats off to him and to you guys and the work you put in and to your futures. Thanks as always for bringing us in and sharing your lives.

I love you guys and your honesty and so I find it sad for people to go around and bash you for it. It‘s admirable that you even have people talk their mind and see that you guys are so vulnerable online and show the good and the difficult sides of YOUR Relationship! So I hope people will be more respectful of that! Thanks for everything you guys do!

Having lost someone who I was really close with through child birth. The huge meaning put on that day could be due to the idea or the fact that things can go wrong. It’s a lot of stress on the body and it’s a crazy procedure if u think about it. It can be a scary thing to not have the people who mean the most to u for that moment or day. Having said that everybody’s relationship is diff and people do need to gain a proper understanding of that. Good for u both for creating ur own rules and ur own meanings for ur union

I love how much you both support each others happiness, follow your own road and stand up for what is healthy for your family! I wish more spouses had this much support to embrace their happiness xxxxx you two are amazing!

I love how much communication is going on. You guys definitely show me how I can work on communicating with my husband to have such a deeper understanding of what it means to be partners.

I'm so glad that you guys put this video back up because when it was first taken down I was so distraught as it was in my watch later and then boom it was gone. I'm glad you shared this story because this is the reality of being working parents. And like you said, it is very important to acknowledge that some people place value on things that others simply do not. And because we all assume certain things that we value are "right" on things that are strongly important to us we have a difficult time adjusting to other people having an alternative view of life than us. I'm in the camp of I would definitely want my hubby there. But I'm also in the camp of acknowledging the fact that moments can be missed if the everyday is here. And one thing I really appreciate about the two of you as a couple is that whenever you guys share a decision that has been made, I imagine those conversations going how this conversation went. Where the both of you were willing parties into entering this agreement and everyone's feelings were acknowledged, explored and valued before you guys came to a joint decision of what you thought was overall best for your family. Shannon, I also understand how you felt when it comes to talking to a parent who had to make sacrifices in a situation where you get to choose not having to. It's a very weird space to be in because our feelings are very much valid about why we don't want to do something and what I have come to discover is that they either felt the same way or similar but because they were forced to be in those situations due to circumstance that hurt is still there for a lot of people. Like you said tho we're not trying to judge and say what's best but what works for our families because we the ability to have options.

I was pregnant this year, and my husband is a touring musician as well. With the date in mind and tours throughout most of my pregnancy, we really wondered if her would make the birth. Everyone around me asked how I felt, and I really didnt understand the question. He is working, he has to provide for our family and he is doing what he loves. Nobody blinks an eye when someone partner is deployed in the military. Or has some other socially accepted job, other than "playing" music. Thankfully he is was able to be in town for the birth and 2 months after, but he is leaving for the third time since our child has been born next month. And, we just continue with our life. This is our life. It just looks different than yours!

It kinda makes me sad that people can’t see the beauty in this. I’m often jarred by the standards set for families, imo it forces each parent into roles that drain them in their own way. With effective communication like this, I can see a much healthier dynamic overall. Not only because the healthy emotional regulation is good for your body, but because it can help lessen the resentment or repressed feelings that often end relationships. Your ability to root for each other, communicate, and be vulnerable is amazing. Thank you for sharing ❤️

Military families have to work through this often. All relationships are different and we need to be respectful of what works for one couple doesn't work with another.

I think that was a really beautiful conversation and I love how supportive you both are. People think that just because you become a parent nothing else should matter ever and that’s just not true. It’s ok to prioritize something else for a moment in time while your children are young. It will be the best story to tell them when they’re older! So happy he was able to have that experience!

This is so beautiful!! I started to tear up because I can absolutely relate & I think we need more honest & open conversations like this! Because the reality is , this is what working parents go through! This was such a beautiful & mature moment for you both!! ❤️ Thank you for this dialogue. 🙏🏾❤️

I have always appreciated your honesty, constructiveness, and transparency with your content. It has been a great reference since high school, giving me the words/education/conversation starters to help me understand complex things like relationships; and now parenting!

Thankyou for this video! I really appreciate this conversation and both of your communication and understanding towards each other. There is such a struggle being a parent, being passionate about your work and dedicating time towards it and saving room for yourself and your partner.

Nuance discussions you consistently bring to the forefront of the content you create is exactly why I am a devout follower of your channel (and podcast). I may not always agree or understand all the decisions you or your podcasts guests make in their PERSONAL life (or even be in that stage of my life yet as a 28 year old woman) BUT I think the people who gravitate towards your content the most, as myself included, are those who understand a core feature to your content: When it comes to relationships, there is no universal truths. Your audience understands that in this modern age of adulting/dating/parenting YOU, the I individual, get to write your own script. And what really matters is that you feel supported, loved and seen in whatever decisions you make and the decisions won’t always be clearly outlined as “right” OR “wrong” but “Right AND Wrong”. For example a decision can “be perfect for me to get to where I need to be and support my family but also cause me tremendous sadness at times because I miss said family”…but when you come to think of the opposite decision it comes down to “which would you regret more looking back big picture?” People are not comfortable with holding two truths and when you think deeply about it, That is what is at the root of a lot of conflict that is being reflected not only in online wars but even on full display on a political stage. A lot of people immediately hit the react button because they are resentful of the fact someone dared to rewrite their script to fit their lifestyle and it triggers deep desires they submerged.

This is why I always watch a shan-video as soon as it’s released! I don’t want to miss out on a learning experience. There always seems to be a risk of people being too provoked and the video disappearing, so as soon as I see a new video my body starts scream “WATCH IT NOW BEFORE ITS GONE DONT MISS IT A SHAN VIDEO FINALLY HURRY”. Love your content Shan! ❤

I found this to be an example of really healthy life partner conversation and choices. These moments show up in relationships and they’re hard to navigate and giving us insight into how you guys made a choice that balanced the needs of your relationship in a way you both thought was best and shoeing your work on how you came to that conclusion could be helpful to others navigating those tough choices. I think there’s a tendency in the current state of male female relationships that lean towards an expectation of men sacrificing and women’s feelings always being the most important thing. In healthy relationships that last it’s about a fulfilling life for both parties.

I just wanted to say that this couple is amazing! You guys are really doing your BEST! This ish is hard and seeing both of you work through it is such a gift.

OMG yes! I don’t remember seeing parents as engaged when I was a child. Now that I’m a parent, I also enjoy seeing parent(s) engaged and participating with their children.

I watched this video when it came out and I thought it was beautiful. Both of you are so invested in each other as individuals and as a unit and people love it when its sunshine and rainbows, but this kind of commitment wont be easy all the time. Also in Nigeria, some people are named Abidemi which loosely means, "a child that was born and waited for me to come home". This shows how in our culture, men go out and work miss births. It doesnt take away anything from how good the fathers are at being fathers. I didnt notice that this video was taken down, but I'm sorry that you both had to read such awful comments. Thank you for always modelling very beautiful thinking and communication.

I love this convo, I haven't seen anything like this before. I love the confidence you both are showing. From a working momma

Wow I LOVED this video when it was posted. I’m in the military and my husband works so there are times one of us HAS to miss something special for the good of our family. You both should be proud that you two have a relationship that can communicate through these hard things. Do what works best for your family.

He should have been there. But at least you had your sister. I damn near quit a job to be there for family (wasn't a small event).

Love the honest exchange and deeply knowing yourself and negotiating needs on a relationship

Oh they were projecting BAD

This might be your best video. I’ve learned so much from it, thank you!

Hey Shan , when seeing that video , I could totally relate!! I too had to make a decision with my spouse about being at the birth , due to work and needing the money . He also travels for work . I had a great support system that I’ll never forget Also he surprised me and showed up for her birth and left right after !!

Thanks always for the vulnerability and openness.

I liked the video then and still appreciate it today. I'm proud of ya'll for doing what works best for you both and making that decision TOGETHER! Much love!

I love this! Do what works for your family! ❤️❤️

Ohhhhh much love to y'all. This is a perfectly ok decision to make for your family. In fact, some people don't even dive deep into these questions or be thoughtful at all, and even that works for them! That's the point, is if it's safe and works for your family.

So much love to you both ❤

This is such a beautiful conversation!

Really glad this video is back. I remember I started watching it and had to stop for a few hours. By the time I was back, it was gone.

love it... very unique way of making your own agreements for how you want to love and noursh your family!

I appreciate you both articulating how you came to the decision you did. And I truly had a change of heart and understood that the commitment you made to each other and the family was not jeopardized by your work ethic. Sorry you got negative feedback. Glad you kept true to your values and let the haters fall to the waste side.

I love Shan and Jared SO much! Thanks for sharing your love to help us all grow and evolve towards unconditional love

You and Jared remind me of my wife and I between the conversations you have and the intentionality with each move you both take. I know what your audience sees is a little snippet of your life. However, it’s much appreciated to show these type of conversations and couples working through them with kids in healthy way. We have a son and when he was four months old babe left for one week I was definitely struggling, however looking back I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I always want the best for my partner and be the biggest support. We both have individual needs. We have needs as a couple, and our child has needs as well. I try to always view those three separately, and somehow we all make it work! What works for some couples may not work for others and I think people should respectfully agree with that.

Man I loved this. This is what life is about. Healthy conflict & resolution and love. ❤

Shan, thank you so much for sharing so much of your life with us. For me it's kind of like having a big sister(I'm the oldest in my family). Getting to see how you all work through issues how you all co-parent how you all take on living in the in the spotlight how you all learn to balance egos and support and love each other. Not that I think my opinion is it is at all relevant for the decisions you all make.... But I just want to say I fully support this decision. It made so much sense for you all considering everything. I was actually blessed to see Jared perform in New York. I moved to New York in this huge life-changing decision for me in August of 2022. I saw one of your post about him being there and I booked my tickets immediately and my first weekend there I got to go see the Jada Nova in concert with Jared opening. I really knew little to nothing about their music and knew him because of you and how much he's on here and how much he has been supportive on here and his production style. But when I saw him on stage, I felt like I was getting to know Jared Brady. I saw a who is fully embracing the power that we as humans hold. What a wonderful wife you were to support him in this decision to become fully himself on stage to really shine his light as bright as he could in preparation for the next child that you guys brought into this world. I love you guys and I wish the best for you all and your family as you continue to make best decisions you can in this world of uncertainty.

Thank you, Shan, for sharing. As I've become more secure with myself, I am noticing other people's reactivity even more. Especially when placed in a gendered and internalized context. I remembered your original video and have always respected the growth/perspective you share with us as you both grow as people and do it healthily. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what it looks like to not compromise but to co-create with someone who is compatible with you specifically as a person. This is why I love the internet! This is for those of us who need examples of "healthy" in play.

Thanks for sharing your truth! Side note, I Love the outfit!!❤

I love when you sit down and talk with us ❤

💗💗💗 Life is full of sacrifices what those are and what is healthy will look different for each family. I think showing up for your children throughout there life will always be more important then one specific day.

I love the love you and Jared have for each other and he was able to live a dream and you could have your beautiful baby with your family.

Grace!🙏We all just need to have a little more grace and compassion. To be a happy, present AND working parent is a privilege we should all be allowed to have access to and I think people forget that when they see parents having selfish moments or choosing their happiness in a time where others have felt obliged to do otherwise. Anyways, shout out to the parents!!! You're doing amazing sweetieeeeee!!xxx

Let people do what they want to do, as long as there is a clear understanding between them you shouldn’t get angry at them, just watch and go about your day.

Sidebar: Just noticed SHARED is the two of your names, I love it!! 😂

This is such an important decision! I think a lot of families aren't financially able to have both parents present (or the parents aren't together). You're not necessarily representing that, but I do think it's important there are examples of births where other supports are there.

This is beautiful ❤

So lovely that you had your sister there!

Random but Shan, can you please upload the viral video that you and Jared created for Enjoy your life? Maybe for the anniversary of 'enjoy your life' on youtube. It was one of the strongest, most memorable pieces of content you created and I wasn't able to find it anywhere to rewatch.

Yall talked about the decision and made a cognizant choice. You're allowed to have it all just maybe not all at the same 🤷🏽‍♀️ and your partner should want and support that. I love that! No one said that it would be easy. But making a conscious decison is the whole point.

I think I saw this convo when it first came out. I’m not sure how I felt then but I’m in support of grown ups making their own decisions. Not every birth plan has to be the exact same. And a partner isn’t bad because they make decisions that go outside of mainstream expectations.

People are crazy why judging like that. People have their own life and situations. It's as simple as that. As long as long exist it's the most important thing. What if the guy is unhappy to go out like that too. But think I am out trying to bring the bread for that future baby like she is secure at least physically. Of course it's better to do that together.. But hey people have different life not everybody will live the same thing or do the obvious things.

This is a great conversation to have because many people do not honestly have it. Despite how we may feel, it's a very informative to help other parents articulate their needs and desires when they become parents. Having your mother and sister their for your birth seems absolutely normal for many many cultures around the world. This may be an uncomfortable conversation for some to hear to have BUT it's something that's needed.

23:35 TO BE A PARENT IN 2023... "Make sure your children's academic, emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, physical, nutritional, and social needs are met while being careful not to overstimulate, underestimate, improperly medicate, helicopter, or neglect them in a screen-free, processed foods-free, plastic- free, body-positive, socially conscious, egalitarian but also authoritative, nurturing but fostering of independence, gentle but not overly permissive, pesticide-free, two-story, multilingual home preferably in a cul-de-sac with a backyard. And don't forget the coconut oil." - Dr. Siggie Shan and Jared, you seem to demonstrate a beautiful example of true partnership and teamwork. I hope everyone is able to focus on what works for them, take inspiration from others where they find it, and discard that which doesn't resonate. Blueprints are useful, but so is forging your own path. Much respect and love 🙏🏾

Imagine military wives that go through this all the time. Amazing how people turn into Keyboard Warriors. Meanwhile real warriors don’t have a choice.

you seem to be a wonderfully supportive parent-couple

Shan & Jared, I am truly going to miss watching lovers and friends. ESPECIALLY these conversations you two have as a couple and parents. It's so refreshing listening to you both and how relatable, real and transparent your conversations are. Truly going to miss this channel but I know the hiatus is much needed and well deserved. P.s. Jared, I am getting crinkles with my two little ones too!! 😅 We are all in this together! #parenthood

I remember this video and it haunts me sometimes as an intrusive memory. like I'll be driving in the car and I'll remember that video

Shan are you ok sis? It breaks my heart when you and your family get criticized online or in the media. Sending hugs

I'm proud of you girl

I respect and agree with the rationale to take this down at the time. I was one of those detractors if I’m honest. I also respect and admire that you made it through that as a family. More love to you all ❤

I never realize how many hard boundaries I have until I visit this channel.

I'm sorry the first time you put this out you got hate for it. You guys have a awesome marriage, you are there I mean really there for each other. I was with my x for 20 years and he was not there. Ya he came home every night and every once in a while he would do something with our daughter, but he was one of those that it was all about him and that's it, there was never any real give and take it was basically being a single parent. My daughter and I always had a very close relationship we still do. I have been really blessed because my second husband had I found each other, come February we will be married 19 years, and together 20 years yep I guess I'm old at 58 but I'm at a place where I'm happy. We talk we are partners, I sometimes feel it's unequal but because of me about 4 or 5 years after we got married I became disabled, so there are things I can't do anymore and he has to pick up the slack, but I'm also blessed because for my daughter he is dad not my x, and she works from home so she moved in with us and started picking up the slack instead. So what others say be damned. The most important thing is you guys are a real family, you are partners, you love each other deeply, your great parents. People think everything has to fit in a box, their box, which always means something different. You all keep being you and just ignore those that when it comes down to it a couple having a open and equal marriage and supporting each other. I think those comments were more out of jealousy then anything else. Blessings Be to both of you and your family 🙏 ..

My amazing sister attended my second daughters birth. Granted, my children’s father cheated… however, it bonded me and my sister is a beautiful way. I never thought about how my baby girls may be in position to do that for each other one day. We have to write our own story and create the narrative of our family with the cards we are dealt. Honestly, the internet is toxic overall so congrats for being open, i keep so much private for this very reason.

This is one of the healthiest relationship i have seen. From the beginning to now. Even the fact that they didnt force monogamy on each other but in the end chose each other.

If his dream is to be a rapper, this is just the beginning. He’s going to miss a lot and thankfully he has an emotionally intelligent partner who understands that. She is his biggest cheerleader. They will find their rhythm and flow. Comparing him to someone who doesnt have the same lifestyle is unfair. It appears he is very present and they communicate well. I also saw him in Charlotte on tour. It was great. Let the man live lol

The thing about life is that when one door closes, another door opens. The fact that Jared was not there for the birth allowed Shan to experience this with her sister and it was no less magical or special. Husbands being present at the delivery is also not a worldwide phenomenon, in Bulgaria for example it is the exception, not the norm. People were acting as if Jared was about to go to the moon and be an absent parent for a decade. The fact that you are brave enough to attempt non-typical social scripts is an inspiration to us all, Shan! Don't let the haters get to ya. xx

I think it's really beautiful that they were both able to come to a decision that suits both of them, but I don't get why the tour couldn't have been scheduled until after the baby would have been born. I'm not suggesting that Jared is a bad father, but in my opinion he should have prioritized being there for the birth. The birth is only once and the music career can continue whenever. If it hadn't gone well I imagine they both would've regretted the decision. At least they're both happy and that's what matters.

is this for too hot to handle?? look you will be ok we appreciate this so very very very much

I mean that wouldn’t work for my relationship. Birth is extremely important and I’d want my boyfriend to be there and would want him to want to be there more than anything but if it worked for you both it’s really none of other people’s business lol.. Like I’d be upset if my dad went to see my siblings be born but not me 😂

My grandparents help my mom raise me because she was a single who works

❤

I think that you can still follow your dreams and be there for your child when he or she needs you

It's a lot of talking for two people who simply value their career as much as parenthood. And it's okay. They are both hungry for success (I say that in a 100% neutral way) and that's that. They just have their own standards. I don't have a problem with people living their life how they want to, as long as they're genuinely comfortable with their choices.

Just have to say, Shan you look so hot 🔥 Loving this new hair color and just overall exuding goddess vibes ✨️

I’m surprised that video was removed. Jared gets a lot of hate… not really sure why.

No Jared slander will be tolerated!

To be honest I don't see why people were trippin'

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

On a side note, I hope this isn’t disrespectful but GAWD DAMN, Jared looks good AF in this episode. Always been a nice looking guy, but whew it’s giving panty dropper in this one 😭🥵