I love him just smiling like an idiot after the carry comment

This makes more sense. There’s a difference between having character (good guy) and having manners (nice guy). You can have the best manners in the world, but if the intent for having manners is malicious, then you have a shitty character. Thanks for the differentiation.

I love how Dr. K is covered in red flags in the thumbnail lol

4:33 >lemme think about how to phrase this so that it can't get clipped out of context >on dr k out of context

Imagine sitting in a healthy relationship and just discussing ideas and helping people. Goals. You guys are so cute and Mrs K is stunning ❤️

Damn, I really like the differentiation between nice & good guys. That really opened my eyes. I never thought about it that way!

"Theres a difference between good and nice". Amen

Dr and Mrs K really do understand each other. They're almost perfect

I had a relationship that lasted for about 2.5 years. We were really into each other for the first year but after the first year i noticed that her interest in me kinda dipped. And it was not only me that noticed it but my friends and her friends as well. About 2 to 3 months later she was just chilling with friends and said that she liked a guy(that was in that room) a little bit. I was not there because of my personal reasons. I heard this a month later. After that my interest in her kinda dipped as well as my confidence. Back to the 1 year-ish mark of our relationship. Me, my friends as well as her friends noticed she had scars on her thighs and wrists. We also noticed that she would have a pocket knife in her backpack. We decided to ask her about it and discovered she was heavily depressed and had thought of ending it a couple of times. We pushed her to tell her parents about it so she could get professional help. She eventually told them and got professional help. But it didn't really work. So here i was, i knew she liked an other guy a little bit and her interest in my was declining. But i didn't know what to do. In my mind i couldn't break up with her because i was afraid that if i did, she would fall back into the suicide thought and maybe even end it completely. At the same time that i had these thoughts she would start arguments over extremely little things that were sometimes not true at all. I was just waiting for her to break up with me... And to be completely honest. It is really hard to have these thoughts about her possibly committing suicide if i break up with her and having to endure them for over a year. This made me realise how scary depression is. My friends and i had a pretty hard time with controlling our behaviour and the things we said for over a year and i can get pretty exhausting. This made me think how incredibly hard it must be for the person experiencing it themself. So when you have depression yourself always know that there is someone you could talk to, i believe even strangers on the street would be happy to listen to you if you ask them nicely. And for people that know someone with depression. Talk to them, it could mean a lot for them.

from personal experience, the lopsided relationship tends to be one of the worst, and will always end horribly.

Dr. K just told us to git gud

Being nice and being Genuine or two different things entirely. You don't have be nice all the time, you just have to be kind and true to yourself.

@4:41 Man, what a great couple. That knowing and cheeky smile tho. He found someone in his weight class for sure.

Big love to Dr. K

i LOVE his explanation of the nice guy thing. it's exactly how I feel and I've never heard someone else articulate it. it's like he reached directly into my brain lol

yooooo I had a mental conversation with my self about being nice and good thing some weeks ago and had the same conclusion. Although mine was about being loving vs being nice, but being good is also a great way to put it that i didnt think about. Because I always see my friends on a relationship and always see it fail and I started to think of a reason why my friends always crashes the relationship. I always notice them posting their relationship status inline and it was all glitter and rainbows but no contrast and some weeks after it would seem to be stale, their relationship would seem stagnant and ultimately a breakup. Because of that I see the problem that they were trying to make the relationship work by sugar coating everything and thinks it will work because they think that glitters and rainbows = a long lasting relationship.

I recommend 2 books on "NICE" No More Mister Nice Guy, by Robert Glover Not Nice, by Dr Aziz. I learned a lot about myself at late 30's, and its not even our fault, in part, but we can recover, slowly.

Watching him grin at the chat blowing up with luls gave me a good feeling lol

well for me a red flag was them never being around to talk when you want to talk... sometimes people just don't want to be a part of your life...

Let me think about this, so it doesn’t get taken out of context... Do, nice guys finish last? I fucking hope so. -Dr. K

4:34 *rubs hands*

"when you get fuckin owned" Trueee, there's a strong sense of someone being your equal. And when that someone can do it without hurting you, maybe even while making you laugh. That someone feels really special.

Great couple very smart and aware

Nice is a social construct, not a character trait. I used to think I was a "nice" guy... and I was a "good" guy... but I wasn't always honest about my feelings, as for many years I dealt with abandonment issues. Once I was able to sort through a big chunk of the childhood shit, I was able to "clear enough bandwidth" in my head to look at some less than optimal behaviors and deal with them "at the root", I was able to begin the process, of learning to love, and have honest compassion for myself. Once I committed to me, in a healthy way - I realized I had a lot of valuable qualities, even with the "imperfections" (granted, I have never bought into the construct of perfection, but as a person who struggled with undiagnosed ADHD until the age of 47, I had dealt with a LOT of societal pressure and rejection, 47 years of that, and four misdiagnosis since The age of 15, shit will take a toll)... It was then that I realized I am not nice. I am kind I am considerate. I am fair, and I am Ernest to a fault. I have values that I do my damnedest to live by, and I see the gaps in my practice values versus my aspirational values. I'm considerate. I enjoy making authentic connections with people, and do my best to meet them where they are. I am a good person, but I am not a fucking nice person. And it is freeing

I love how much he loves her lol

"You should play more LoL" is the biggest red flag 😅

" you give 60 and you take 40 and they give 60 and they take 40" me - But thats just 50-50 with extra steps

i love mom and dad

I felt that..... i will always finish last

That look when he said "fight with people in your weight class" and she looks over. He died that night. We have been seeing his ghost ever since.

git gut -DrK

I'd add to that my concrete red flsgs: 1. Berating a partner in public 2. Twisting everything towards them/blaming everything on you. 3. Selfishness in bed 4. Lack of manners (precursor to all the above)

i loveee you guys :D

LMAO. This bit is so relatable right now. I love how Mrs K throws a simple "yes or no" question and Dr K is like "Let's just think about that for a second".

Their love makes me hopeful

I really liked the nice vs good thing. That's a very good way to explain it. Also they're so cute 😔😔 i hope to have a relationship like theirs someday

Dr. K with his relationship on fleek

wonderful wonderful people

The dude from the tv show Love, is a perfect example a “nice guy.”

"I love a woman that can kick my ass." -Spike "Alok 'Dr. K' Kanojia" Spiegel

5:28 she shake her head as agreement so much, i feel like she dealt with too many nice guys.

5:00 Big Brain Dr. K! 🧠

Please go see joe Rogan you'd be an amazing guest . Also thank you for being so kind and helpful to everyone . I just recently found out about you but I can tell ur really good hearted

He fucking NAILED the nice guys question

Anyone can be a nice person, ie put on a nice face. It's all external and that might reflect on the true character of a person only in a incomplete way.

i wholeheartedly agree with the good guy vs nice guy comparison. except instead of calling a person "good" i like to use the word "kind." just a small difference but that's the way i like to describe good people :p

Implicit in being good, not just nice, is having a certain confidence. Being nice can be equated with being a push over, deferring to what everyone wants you to say/do, being as inoffensive as possible, etc. You don't have to be confident to do that. In fact, you could argue such behavior is not confidence, but cowardice. Being good means having morals and values that you follow, because you think they are correct, and following them even if they cause offense. Being good will often mean taking initiative to do something, or to refrain from something. This is confident behavior. I actually think one of the ways to build your confidence, is to figure out what you believe is right and wrong, and then to live that out. If you're convinced what you're doing is right, then it doesn't matter the outcome, because you're doing what you believe to be the right thing, and thus you're not doubting yourself too much.

4:35 about that...

Be good and you won't have to be nice

Pls talk about six flags next.

yes yes audio for ants

It was hard to get what he meant by "nice guys" vs "good guys" because how I was raised they're the same thing. both positive

Doc you got some nice teeth and a bomb smile

Nice guys finish last. Guys that are nice do not. There is a very significant difference

I was giving 70 and getting 30 in my last relationship because she was super depressed and I'm not. It just didn't work out.

If you die and she gets a double kill and says worth , it's a red flag KEKW

What should i do if i feel like my relationship is lob sided

I like the distinction between nice and good guys. In a pure sense, nice is not mutually exclusive to being good and there should be a high amount of overlap. It's because guys that intentionally try to be the nice guys are likely (not gauranteed) to not work on their internal growth and character (becoming a good guy). They become a nice guy likely with questionable character. The guys that focus on being good are less likely to present as nice, or at least they feel uncomfortable in situations where they are self-interested; awkward in fact. Women aren't going to see past awkward and get at the "good." I like the "give 60 / recieve 40" idea as a general idea to counter to shitty advice that is being given to women in general, and absolutely given to red pill men; that advice is excessively expecting the other person to give, offer, and do without considering what they are giving in that situation. Any relationship I end with complaints she is not giving enough or being a drag, I deeply look at what I "gave" in that same situation. What was I spending my effort on giving versus what I understood/deduced they wanted. I consider that maybe what I was giving could have been something she didn't actually value and that's not her fault. If that is the case then it's a combination of not being compatible, and I should improve on my attentativeness in terms of either giving more of what is appreciated, or recognizing that I'm in a situation where she wants something I can't give so it's time to exit amicably. If that isn't the case, and she's entitled then I incidentally discovered (still refining) a way to test for that. The usual dynamic is that I have probably offered something she is now expecting: paying the (food/drinks) bill, giving a ride, initiate asking her out etc. Break that pattern and see how she reacts. If she assumes the benefit, call her out on it. That's a perfect time to have the discussion of "you have been expecting _____ consistently from me, what can I expect from you?" The nature of the call out boils down to she's expecting benefits of an established male partner, but not offering any sort of reciprocal behavior. The worst (and likely) response is that she will suggest that her benefit to you is showing up to dates and she will try to fluff it up by bringing up her hardships against showing up to prior dates. And for a lot of guys, some of this one sidedness can be balanced out with sex. Though I think this is a perfectly fine repricprocal benefit, bringing it up in this context will absolutely have her shame you for wanting sex so soon. She will claim she was looking for a more substantial relationship and that you're the shallow one. The irony being: but the #1 issue was the fact that you were already expecting things from me while offering nothing...so who's the one actually working/behaving towards any sort of real relationship?

The thing with nice guys finish last is, it's not the problem about being nice. Who would mind if someone was nice?? The thing is a typical "nice" guy is shy, doesn't like to take the initiative, often can't say no, is not confident, doesn't stand up for his own, only wants to please others, cares too much what other people might think, you get the point. And that gets boring fast, there's no fun in that.. So be cocky, rebellious, confident, a fighter, charming, teasing.. and if you're on top of that nice and good hearted.. you'll have no worries

dr k worried about getting clipped out of context. Clip of that is uploaded by channel called dr k out of context. *slow clap*

I'm a nice guy 👍

i thought they were gonna play red flags the card game

I know I don't come across as a nice guy but I try my best to be a decent person.

The thing about nice guys is that it's all pull And no push and that's why it doesn't work

A "red flag" I would say is if you're investing yourself on someone who has no goals or ambitions because that usually means that they lack the motivation to love life and themselves. I'm not saying it's a "bad" thing to find lack of motivation difficult, but not having any motivation and no ambition normally comes along with depression and someone who can't love themselves can in no way shape or form truly love you. Best thing to do is encourage them to find a way to learn how to love themselves and that alone is a long journey and something that needs to be done within. You can care about them from a distance and if they bloom into a healthier individual then there's an opportunity, but if not and you decide to stay, then that negativity will eventually begin to eat you up as well. Love yourself so that you may love back. Everyone is worthy of love, you just need to take the initiative to persevere and find your light/purpose.

Being nice should honestly just be a prerequisite for being human. If all you are is nice and have no other redeeming qualities that just means you have no substance and nothing to offer, no offence.

Spitting some hot fire truth. Especially about being good. Fuck being nice. Being good is the important thing. I dont give a shit about if my surgeon is nice, I want him to be fucking mega ultra good. He can insult me after saving me life, I take it.

all Im saying is that being good is a process, no person is objectively good and what does good even mean

im sorry i have trouble making out what dr k said at 1:19, fucking ''?'' can someone help me?

Her wife is so pretty wtf

She's beautiful

THIS. Putting on the facade of being a good person vs. actually being a good person through your actions. That is the difference between nice and good. You can talk about how nice/good you are till the cows come home, but those words don't see themselves as true until you act the proper way to prove those claims. I've seen people do this time and time again; if you have to constantly drone on about how nice you are, chances are you're doing so to make up for something you lack. Otherwise why would you be trying so hard to convince people?

What about green flags?

but what if you are really nice inside :(?

The more I watch Dr K and Mrs K the more I realise I'm in a relationship that I really shouldn't be in...

I'm still a dumb dumb. Please someone explain to me difference between good guys and nice guys. Much appreciated

MRS KREY

5:00 What does it MEAN to be a NICE GUY or a GOOD GUY, it's ambiguous. Can someone please explain?

What’s the difference between nice and good?

I love how Mrs. K keeps using binary logic and you can almost hear Dr. K's internal fans whirring at full speed to cool his quickly heating-up mind.

I dont understand thr 60-40 analogy. What does it mean by giving 60 and taking 40. And if both people are giving each other 60 how does it add up? lol i feel dumb

Where do bad boys finish?

shit, im a nice bad guy

Nice guys finish last. She finishes first

Nice guys finish last, but good guys always win.

Nice guys finish last not because their nice, but because of the scarcity mentality they carry that causes them to be "nice".

the difference between being nice and being a r/niceguy

"Let me think about how I phrase this so I don't get clipped out of context..." - Dr. K Out of Context

Being "nice" is not a virtue. Courage, Strength and Loyalty are examples of virutes that are way more valuable.

idk...how would a good guy with severe social anxiety and depression not finish last?

Nice guy = harmless (harmless without choice) Good guy = harmful but tamed (virtuous)

What about children of divorce? Just stay away? or?

There are a lot of nice people in the world, but what about compatability, interests, goals, morals, beliefs and attraction. Nice guys™ think being nice is the only qualification, when in fact it's the bare minimum. And that veil niceness always disappears when it doesn't work out in their favour, revealing their true colours.

I love how the video was basically nothing and then the last 1:30 was the real hard truths and some legitimately high quality statements.

If a woman and I have similar music taste its a red flag.

DR K IS A SUB CONFIRMED

How do you know you are good, when you tolerate abusive Psychiatry as a professional psychiatrist and even defend it in that it "helps" some people?

why does mrs.k low key look like miah khalifa

Why do people need to ask for what red flags are in their own relationships? They can’t tell by themselves? Like if you’re getting abused then you don’t need to ask anyone if you’re in a bad relationship.

stop stealing his views