Dr. K Chats with

Рет қаралды 1,067,305

Күн бұрын

All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
Dr. K chats with Sasha Grey! They go over what therapy is, her struggles with Twitch TOS, and procrastination with feelings of being overwhelmed. Dr. K shares his thoughts on their discussion and dives into Sasha's parasocial relationships and the boundaries they are setting in life.
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▼ Timestamps ▼
────────────
00:00:00 Intro
00:00:28 What Does Dr. K Do and What Is Therapy?
00:18:19 Why Are People Drawn to Sasha?
00:29:27 Twitch TOS - Being Careful
00:34:40 Struggling Everyday
00:40:04 Procrastination and Feeling Overwhelmed
01:05:21 Being Shadowbanned, Running a Business
01:22:29 Downplaying Own Emotions
01:30:40 Dr. K’s Thoughts
01:44:22 Parasocial Relationships, Boundaries
02:21:30 Procrastination, Ayurveda and Kaphas
02:44:14 Solutions for Vata
Check out Sasha's stream and thank her for coming on! / sashagrey
────────────
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and Meditation, and now Trauma!
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#Procrastination #MentalHealth #SashaGrey

Пікірлер: 2 400

@ondrej1893 3 жыл бұрын

3 hours, who’d have thought Dr.K would last that long with Sasha Grey?

@Mohammed-um9jp 3 жыл бұрын

Noice

@andresfontalvo17 3 жыл бұрын

My mans is a total Chad. No one was surprised by this.

@thekoolkiwiii 3 жыл бұрын

@@Mohammed-um9jp Toit

@scrabs9 3 жыл бұрын

bravo

@beardedrake9983 3 жыл бұрын

Yah you win the comments

@gnarfcreatesthings 3 жыл бұрын

That intro snippet with the balls-joke was a perfect selection.

@NoblesseOblige-17 3 жыл бұрын

@Unknown Soldier Why do you think she had a horrible lifestyle?

@psycling2130 3 жыл бұрын

@Unknown Soldier What separates them from any other actor? Every actor plays a persona on stage. But you have no proof that they are playing a persona here.

@travisnell6849 3 жыл бұрын

@Unknown Soldier She was not in the Underworld movie series.

@EleosLupus 3 жыл бұрын

@Unknown Soldier That is very narrow minded and judgmental of you to say. Just because someone chose a different lifestyle than what is considered the "social norm" you call them fake and distrust them?

@keirak2545 3 жыл бұрын

I'm dying lol

@avinashjaiswal9493 2 жыл бұрын

'' We all may feel lonely at some point, despite having a family, a support system." Sasha is actually so right here.

@sushilsharma4202 2 жыл бұрын

You are not lonely at that moment. You are missing something that you wish you had at that time along with them. It can be anything or a person or sometimes you just feel having something which doesn't even exist.

@sleverlight 2 жыл бұрын

Try to research about self love, theres a hole in ur heart because you need to love yourself. Instead of going to other people to fill your hole

@shoelacedonkey Жыл бұрын

@@sushilsharma4202 You're in no place to tell anyone else if they're feeling lonely or not. Actualy the second part of your comment is a reasonable description of loneliness.

@sushilsharma4202 Жыл бұрын

@@shoelacedonkey I don't think I ever said how one should feel. I'm just pointing out what actually being lonely means. I'm looking at it from the rational side rather than the emotional.

@condemnedcat1513 9 ай бұрын

We all go to the grave alone unfortunately 😪 ❤

@ballaking1000 2 жыл бұрын

Dude... This guy comes out of NOWHERE and within 2-3 years; he's suddenly making connections with celebs, athletes etc... Very impressive.

@erichardnett9394 2 жыл бұрын

or very suspicious... you know ppl get put on right?

@MisterK-YT 2 жыл бұрын

@@erichardnett9394 huh?

@rejectionisprotection4448 Жыл бұрын

Well he's got over a million subscribers. It's easier to attract them with those kind of numbers.

@tacitozetticci9308 Жыл бұрын

@@erichardnett9394 sure Joe Rogan and Dr K are CIA agents right?

@mikoaj7956 11 ай бұрын

Harvard is definitely way more somewhere than nowhere ;)

@Maxarcc 3 жыл бұрын

Shoutout to the person who makes the little chapters in the playbar. Whoever you are, you're the best.

@TG47GRG 3 жыл бұрын

underrated feature

@seignee 3 жыл бұрын

literally the best feature youtube has added so far (though they removed community captions, which still piss me off ://)

@kepagu 3 жыл бұрын

@@seignee easy to clutter the video with intrusive ads etc. They changed it to cards, which pop up in the ℹ️ in the top right, which is better imo. Still have outro vids etc built in

@akalion213 3 жыл бұрын

@@kepagu they're talking about captions (subtitles) not annotations

@kepagu 3 жыл бұрын

@@akalion213 oh. Is that where the watchers contributed to translating/captioning the video?

@ondrej1893 3 жыл бұрын

Dr.K’s bucket list: Film a video with Sasha Grey✅

@spatel8344 3 жыл бұрын

Used the wrong formula but got the right answer

@pdf-file 3 жыл бұрын

@@spatel8344 She's missing out on the Chad Thundercock 😂

@endr7u7 3 жыл бұрын

Brácho pěkně si pofarmil liky, cenim XD

@milkmahtitty 3 жыл бұрын

@@endr7u7 My man down real bad

@soberTrezviy 3 жыл бұрын

3 hours long, damn!

@icywinterof88 3 жыл бұрын

I love the way Dr. K approaches people in conversations. "Is it okay if I..." . I just love that he is always asking permission before doing and saying things.

@sg_onefly 2 жыл бұрын

It’s a tactic used for trust… every psychiatrist uses it… and rightfully so! Should always slide in moments of respect, trust and vulnerability towards a patient or whatever. Helps them be more comfortable.

@chrispasson1940 2 ай бұрын

@@sg_onefly good to know

@tylercraig5633 3 жыл бұрын

A universal theme with these interviews with streamers I’m sensing is just how soul crushing modern society can be. The dark side of the internet, fundamental changes in human interaction and other things that lead to anxiety, depression, etc. It’s really sad but I’m glad there’s people like Dr. K helping us through super unique issues like these.

@futavadumnezo 3 жыл бұрын

I have depression and anxiety and I want to stream hoping it could potentially help

@tylercraig5633 3 жыл бұрын

@@futavadumnezo I was also diagnosed with depression within the last six months and am doing counseling and medication. It’s making a world of a difference for me! If streaming is therapeutic for you then do whatever it takes to get you through every day.

@Kavriel 3 жыл бұрын

You have to remember that in these conversations people are trying to get help with subjets they struggle with. So in almost every interview, there is hurt etc. These people live in modern society in a particularly unnatural situation, that's bound to hurt. Remember that modern society and internet brought a ton of positive to a ton of people.

@komudiepue Жыл бұрын

Pre-modern society was also soul crushing. Societies before that, even more soul crushing. Then there was a few less soul crushing societies, but then before that; the MOST crushingest of societies. It's almost like scapegoating the internet for the soul crushing nature of existence is more a sign of the dark side of fundamental misattribution.

@YomsterFUT13 Жыл бұрын

@@komudiepue bro its literally this like i get people being so "doomsday" about modern times and im like looking back at the past ... where would you want to go back to? like 50 years ago when there were less opportunities for people in relation to jobs (like things like social media really has opened up a lot). and not to be "tokeny" but even for minorities its not perfect by any means but way more opportunities for us and just the treatment (again is not perfect and still a long way to go in some respects) but compare that to pre-modern society. Even things like mental health and the focus on that is much much higher. it's obs by no means perfect but when i see the whole "these times suck" rhetoric on the internet i think its such a short-sighted statement.

@kawaicupcake5688 3 жыл бұрын

tHIS IS TRULY AN INSANE TIMELINE

@Maestroxxx1 3 жыл бұрын

You just wait till you see what happens in 2034...you will lose your fucking mind!

@RPGyourLIFE 3 жыл бұрын

@@Maestroxxx1 you guys are hilarious. This timeline is awesome

@capnz7703 3 жыл бұрын

@@Maestroxxx1 wild

@itstimeforlee 3 жыл бұрын

Dr k and a woman who would scream the n word over and over while drinking piss. Truly an insane timeline.

@ShpanMan 3 жыл бұрын

We haven't even reached Ice Poseidon yet...

@badd8 3 жыл бұрын

The conversation about strength and being strong reminded me of this from Tao Te Ching : A man is born gentle and weak. At his death he is hard and stiff. Green plants are tender and filled with sap. At their death they are withered and dry. Therefore the stiff and unbending is the disciple of death. The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life. Thus an army without flexibility never wins a battle. A tree that is unbending is easily broken. The hard and strong will fall. The soft and weak will overcome.

@dertheorieticker3914 3 жыл бұрын

dude

@nnarcus 3 жыл бұрын

That was beautiful, thank you

@broaz885 3 жыл бұрын

Never heard it before and I love it. Thank you

@jolt_sama 3 жыл бұрын

Gg man. Beautiful.

@qap7 3 жыл бұрын

To all who have not heared about his passage before I very fondly recommend you read the Tao Te King. It provides much more wisdom for you to find.

@Vitz_atelier 3 жыл бұрын

Came for the curiosity of seeing how Sasha Grey is doing after all those years. Stayed because of the very insightful and interesting conversation! Really great stream!

@toromei 3 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad that I’m seeing this now, in the middle of changing careers to work independently, feeling a lot of the same things, and having always been a procrastinator. Really insightful. Thank you both for sharing! :)

@46september 3 жыл бұрын

Holy shit, Did you guys notice how Dr K felt sad/concerned for making her cry and then just came up with the balls joke to make her laugh all while playing innocent..damn.. what a 5head.

@WarsWorth 3 жыл бұрын

Everyone keeps saying it was intentional but damn he fooled me.

@bargaingoldandsilver 3 жыл бұрын

@@WarsWorth I don’t think it was intentional

@theknowone9846 3 жыл бұрын

@@bargaingoldandsilver it wasnt haha

@stanhogenelst2555 3 жыл бұрын

@@bargaingoldandsilver and that's exactly what makes it so much funnier lol

@chrismhp 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think he was playing innocent, I'm not sure why people keep saying that. Dr. K is always transparent whenever he purposefully makes any inappropriate jokes for levity. If he did it purposefully he would've said so. You need to remember that Dr. K's mind is working at twice or thrice the speed that our minds do when he's doing in these interviews. In a few minutes he made a connection, a hypothesis, and a possible solution to Sasha's problem and is trying to get a point across; he could easily miss an innuendo when his mind is already 10 steps ahead of you.

@AndiParkour 3 жыл бұрын

Idealistic procrastination. Thats exactly what happened to me at university. I always was an A student, even in university until i had to write my bachelors thesis. I created this idea during my studies, of it being this huge thing, where everything has to be perfect. I need to cite everything perfectly, find the best sources, etc. Then i failed my last semester with only As and Bs, but an F on my bachelor paper. And it shattered my ego because "being good at school" was what i associated with during all of those years in school. It took me a few years to get over it and work through what happened. And the idea of idealsitic procrastion helped me understand it even better. Thanks Dr. K :)

@juliusgreen9179 3 жыл бұрын

Are you future me? Writing my thesis now, let's hope it doesn't end badly

@khyati7733 2 жыл бұрын

Omg this is exactly me

@ElMeach 2 жыл бұрын

Man, I suffer alternating the 3 types of procrastination. We humans are curious auto saboteurs

@scruffymakaveli6870 Жыл бұрын

@@juliusgreen9179 How was the thesis?

@tekiero Жыл бұрын

how did you save yourself

@vinceclorto66 3 жыл бұрын

I find myself surprised by being so interested in this conversation. I was gonna check a couple of minutes, and nom I'm at 2h30 and hope it would last much longer. Kuddos to Sacha Grey for delivering so much, being so honest and open. This must be quite a difficult exercice and she did great. She does seem like a very interesting person. Plus it feels so good so find your own thoughts in other people's mind.... Needless to say Dr K is very impressively effective.

@Papuca3000 3 жыл бұрын

His mic looks like it is sitting on a chair :D I just cant help it.

@pooja350 3 жыл бұрын

It's basking in the sunlight :D

@jambononi 3 жыл бұрын

The people need to know!

@user-exuytv 2 жыл бұрын

His mic is chilling lmao

@willrfrench 2 жыл бұрын

His mic RECLINES

@sg_onefly 2 жыл бұрын

Haha I thought this too!

@ESPirits87 3 жыл бұрын

53:20 This is the main problem with todays society, 100 years ago you didn't know what happened in your village 2 miles away, today we know in a second what happens 2000 miles away, is that information relevant to me?, we carry the world problems on our shoulders today and i think it's a key factor to being overwhelmed and depression overall.

@carlogaytan7010 3 жыл бұрын

Neil Postman is that you?

@SCORP1ONF1RE 3 жыл бұрын

U nailed it.

@TotalGoatHead 3 жыл бұрын

Yessir, the more we do to save time (aka technology, phones etc which are all awesome), the more we are also losing time (maybe not as much but it definitely affects us in different ways). Most things have an equal and opposite backfire, just not in the way we think I guess. I learned this from my friend too, and I agree

@bargaingoldandsilver 3 жыл бұрын

Not a lot of people care about what happens outside their bubble though lol. I’d say it’s a minority that actually do. But yes technology has developed super fast we still have a lot to catch up on with the mental health side. But over all I feel like the trade off to having endless information in the palm of your hands is worth

@authorbhattacharjee4957 3 жыл бұрын

Social media gives people high levels of anxiety too

@andyfangaf 3 жыл бұрын

Wow never thought I'd see this crossover

@johnpulawski35 3 жыл бұрын

Lol straight up is this what i gotta do to get on stream? Lmao

@oxsila 3 жыл бұрын

Not far off tbh. He's done no fap talks.

@will_9910 3 жыл бұрын

@Tango Crunch People still today don't realize porn stars are people too.

@OItsjustzach 3 жыл бұрын

@Tango Crunch it's surprising....

@inferno7289 3 жыл бұрын

people who fap to porn stars the most look down on them the most as well huh

@RottenRobyn 3 жыл бұрын

Best three hours of my week! Thank you for having this conversation and sharing with us. I really appreciated the parasocial discussion.

@deal899 Жыл бұрын

YAY! We all went to therapy together on stream...that was really nice...the invention of "Not a cult"...

@xerodeus2337 3 жыл бұрын

It's interesting the more you watch these, you start to pick up on things - like how quickly Sasha is to completely delegitimize her own feelings and disqualify them by focusing on other people's feelings.

@disaba100 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah! And with time you start to notice that you are doing these things yourself too! And, I believe, that's where the real value of these streams shows!

@mikasasukasa4479 3 жыл бұрын

i do this a lot...

@FushiguroMegumi79 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I found that so relatable. Something I have struggled with myself unfortunately

@bigdicknigga3746 3 жыл бұрын

What a humble brag

@myfruitybeatsparadis3925 3 жыл бұрын

@@fourmargaritas1063 spirituality is a good way my friend if you wish to learn more about what you're saying research gabor matte and Dr.Arthur Janov.

@nickclemens9050 3 жыл бұрын

57:29 highlight timestamp

@smmshoe 3 жыл бұрын

real mvp

@jacobl7451 2 жыл бұрын

thank you 🤣

@chinmeysway 2 ай бұрын

that was already at the intro

@daniell1483 7 ай бұрын

Sasha is a fascinating interviewee. She is obviously well-known for her previous career, but this has illustrated that she is a very intelligent person. Smart, sharp, energetic, and very charismatic. The person in this interview is not just a pretty face, she has a genuine curiosity and passion for life that is very admirable to me. And her sense of humor is quite infectious as well! She is the kind of person I'd love to just talk to for an hour, I think it would be a great experience.

@ilovehihats 4 ай бұрын

she looks better with three dudes ramming their phalluses down to her vocal chords on camera

@andrewferguson6901 4 ай бұрын

She's a g for sure

@ABCDyeahyeahyeah 3 ай бұрын

This might sound silly but I’ve been a fan since I saw her “Text Etc” appearance that the old machinima crew did. You gotta love how well she has reclaimed her image. If kind people can withstand all the BS they can thrive.

@clonerstive 3 жыл бұрын

"I don't know what you're doing, but it's not therapy...But people seem to like it!" I think of this every day I watch one of these interviews, and I can't wait to see the mental health landscape to evolve to be even MORE help to more people.

@billnguyen4148 3 жыл бұрын

it feels amazing to get to know a person who is only ever associated with something a little... taboo, and to find out she is such a smart, insightful, analytical, but also empathetic, emotional and strong individual.

@inferno7289 3 жыл бұрын

right, it's almost as if people are people no matter what their occupation is

@SuperDynaZty 3 жыл бұрын

Truly mindblowing

@jasoncarto 3 жыл бұрын

@@SuperDynaZty God damn it

@MegaBloodrain 3 жыл бұрын

The ones who make it taboo are also the ones consuming it.. This society makes no sense, foolish and judgemental..

@slevin6544 3 жыл бұрын

Its funny like she is hot, but the most attractive thing about her is her intelligence and the way she carries herself.

@Arti09HS 3 жыл бұрын

The irony is that they procrastinated on beginning the topic of procrastination

@BarbaraMerryGeng 2 жыл бұрын

This was a GREAT conversation ! Lots of lights went on for me 💡 Thank u Dr. K & beloved guest for the wonderful sharing 🙏🏼🙏🏼

@TheDaktylos 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this great talk, I just recently found this channel and was intrigued by the context of mental health/psychology and gaming, which heavly resonates with me. I think a format like this is really beneficial for a lot of people and it definetly was to me. Thanks again, for this open debate Dr.K and Sasha. I would love to see another talk with you both, in like a half year or later.

@glumreaper8885 3 жыл бұрын

This is probably one of the most important interviews I've watched for me. They touch on all the big beats that I've suffered with. Hearing about the "cult leader" effect was a refreshing take on it, and added a lot of perspective.

@randomname1152 3 жыл бұрын

I am second guessing myself writing this but as someone who was diagnosed a year ago, I would recommend looking at the diagnostic test for ADHD.

@glumreaper8885 3 жыл бұрын

@@randomname1152 I appreciate how you're coming from a place of empathy since you are also a member of the ADHD family. But please don't. I didn't ask. (Mostly because I've already asked experts who have ruled out ADHD as well as many other things.) I hope you are welcome in the HG community though. Many others are looking for help and could use a kind friend who has their life circumstances 😊

@randomname1152 3 жыл бұрын

@@glumreaper8885 I only found HG less than a month ago and this was my first toe-dip into commenting on any videos. Thank you for replying with compassion especially in the face of my over-stepping a boundary. It means a lot. I wish you well :)

@cyberstonks 3 жыл бұрын

better not watch Dr.K's video with Athene the cult leader of fallen internet warriors LOL

@grim3016 2 жыл бұрын

@@randomname1152 sorrym whats HG?

@isabella7p 3 жыл бұрын

I've never seen Dr. K sit like that, looks like he was modelling it for her and she eventually sits in a more relaxed manner as well, even though she said she wouldn't do that because of her presenting and mask.

@SomethingScotty 3 жыл бұрын

A good therapist can lead people where they need them to be without ever saying anything. If you ever go to a therapist, then try and take a mental note of how often his/her posture shifts in accordance to yours. You think you're there to play a simple game of mental checkers, but a good therapist is playing some next level chess on a plane beyond our perception.

@bigdicknigga3746 3 жыл бұрын

@@SomethingScotty playing posture chess with a therapist instead of actually therapising. Thats the way to go

@khelouch4461 3 жыл бұрын

I didn't notice that, pretty cool, thanks!

@michaelsotomayor5001 2 жыл бұрын

Doctor has immense patience. It’s inspiring. Also how lovely this woman is. She also is inspiring.

@Hersonrock12 7 ай бұрын

This is incredibly valuable, thank you both for making this possible.

@DK_Son 3 жыл бұрын

26:15 I want to thank Dr K for giving me a people-handling skill I've now been using at work for months. Too often people just ask me something and want an answer on the spot. They demand immediate answers, and it forces me to umm and aaahh. A lot of the time it's something that actually needs me to do research, or think about. Now I just ask them to leave it with me to find the best answer, or whatever it is that I need to give the person. Some people still don't really like the wait. They don't like to give me time to think it over, even though it's never urgent. But it gives me time to sit down and think about the best approach, instead of just slapping a band-aid answer down. If I stay with them I can blurt out 5 ways to do something. But if I have time to mull those options over, I can come up with the best one to proceed with. Noticed a massive difference with how I provide solutions now at work.

@samkaay5049 2 жыл бұрын

yes that is really a masterpiece of a life hack. you nailed it, usually i went way to fast and to emotional with my answers that the follow up of the discussion lead in a way that i never wanted to go. and afterwards i was always thinking: why did i just not answer "this and this" - it would have been so much clearer and objective. if i feel overwhelmed even with the most simple question, i will take my time, because i know exactly how to respond but i need time to form the answer so everything comes together

@mortalkomment8028 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent!

@rob637 Жыл бұрын

@@mortalkomment8028 cc . Bt6

@tldw8354 4 ай бұрын

yes that is very important. I am doing it for about 6 years now and it was a real game changer in my business life - although it was only one of some thing to do. the only problem i still have is, that sometimes i feel emotionaly overwhelmed and then i tend to give the fast answer or reaction. 5 minutes later i hate myself for acting like that. it's in my blood i guess. i really like, that you pointed it out again for me and others!

@anhuro8558 3 жыл бұрын

Recently discovered this channel and its videos. I gotta say this is something we need more of! Really cool to see this guy doing such a good job and taking it very seriously. He seems like he has a lot of experience with this and knows what he is doing. This is very helpful and I hope to see this channel grow to big numbers in the future. I wish Dr. K all the best and that he may help a lot of people 💜

@Indi_Waffle_Girl 7 ай бұрын

Absolutely phenomenal interview. Thank you both so much ❤

@pepsicola0786 2 жыл бұрын

This was such an interesting video. I've never seen Sasha open up like this.. especially emotionally. I always liked her but I'm definitely drawn to her more than ever. The way she presents herself on her platforms versus her being vulnerable about her struggles and mental complexities here with you was so refreshing and relatable. Loved this Dr K!

@rohanking12able 9 ай бұрын

I've seen her open up.

@wonder8964 5 ай бұрын

@@rohanking12able Low.

@nacholashow 3 жыл бұрын

Its so cool to see how far Sasha's come and learn about her thought process; always had a respect for her, now even more elevated through this interview. Thank you for being open about your problems, as well as Dr. K as always, being the person who through him, we learn a lot.

@fatherdex8174 3 жыл бұрын

The shadowban section was eye opening. I just thought she was an "alternate media actor" who dropped off the face of the earth. Didn't even know she was on twitch until she did this interview. I now know why.

@Nemalp 3 жыл бұрын

I tried it out out of curiosity. She doesn't come up through auto fill but when you search her up on Google all of her social media profiles are there. Or did she mean something else?

@Azusartcorner 3 жыл бұрын

@@Nemalp I think that was just an example, and what she meant is that her content isn't being promoted by the algorithm as much.

@GreepsTV 3 жыл бұрын

obviously dont play at a pro levell

@LV426Survivor 3 жыл бұрын

@@Nemalp That's what a shadowban is, yea.

@spacecostume9102 3 жыл бұрын

@@Nemalp Yup thats one of the ways she is shadow banned by these platforms, it depends what website you are searching on, but almost all of them will ban "sasha grey" from being suggested or "auto - filled"

@TheGamingJournals 9 ай бұрын

Dr. K, this video was so INCREDIBLY helpful for me - just in learning about the concept of "Vata". I've always felt like it was a problem with ME that I couldn't stay interested in one thing and I'm being crushed by my job which always seems to leave me an empty husk. I tried streaming but have never been able to stick to a single game for long periods of time like all of my friends are able to do. I've learned more about myself in these 3 hours than the last 30 years. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!

@JohanJonasson 5 ай бұрын

Wow, so happy i found this. Definitely a conversation i needed to hear, and im only a third of the way through. I can relate to so much she's saying.

@CapeEniEer 3 жыл бұрын

aww you gotta bring her back to finish the conversation!!!

@meepmop6 3 жыл бұрын

This one was particularly relevant to me, with uni assignments to do, feeling overwhelmed not just by work that needs to be done but the state of the world, being motivated but procrastinating, being a vata etc. Thanks Doc

@thesidneychan 3 жыл бұрын

Her laughing is so endearing. She's like someone cool and fun to hang out with. About a few minutes in, I forgot I was watching and listening to Sasha Grey as I knew growing up. I was listening to a real person - something that we tend to forget when the industry dehumanises people like her.

@poochsnoocher 2 жыл бұрын

you put what I felt much more eloquently than I could have. I completely agree with you :)

@mgmchenry 2 жыл бұрын

Seems exactly like the Sasha I grew up with, tbh. You could always see that about her

@JarthenGreenmeadow 2 жыл бұрын

"as I knew growing up." dead

@JarthenGreenmeadow 2 жыл бұрын

@@mgmchenry Idk about that bro.

@jonbaker476 2 жыл бұрын

Well, I mean, it wasn't just the industry. She willingly did that to herself in exchange for money

@shubhamsingh-hn3tr 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for making these videos and information public

@Allexstrasza 3 жыл бұрын

Twitch is built on hypocracy, double-standards and favoritism. She can't *talk* about what she wants and sees as important issues, but other girls can sit half-naked in a bathtub or show their privates with barely any repercussions. Its mind-blowing how twisted this platform has become and anyone who says they're not treating streamers differently is blind or refuse to see the obvious.

@shadowdhaka 3 жыл бұрын

She is a very good streamer tho, she is very real and honest with her personality or it seems so, like you can feel how genuine the stream is and atleast for me i value it a lot. Is not the platform that is twisted is the world that is twisted and people just got to the platform as it got popular, you know?

@PhillipAmthor 3 жыл бұрын

And now imagine that the whole world was like this before twitch. This is why we need to change at least the western asap

@apexpredator.9770 2 жыл бұрын

Why would twitch treat her worse than other streamers?? Wouldnt it make sense for twitch to promote her and earn more viewership because she alr famour or at the very least treat her the same as others?? U need some logic man

@Allexstrasza 2 жыл бұрын

@@apexpredator.9770 Because Twitch is built on sponsors and ad revenue and she has a history as a very famous pornstar. So her name will forever be linked to photos of sexual content. Having her name in their promotion will always be a stigma for promoters and therefore they don't want her in the limelight. She said it herself, her name can't even be googled. If a non-famous person shows nudity on stream, their name isn't even remotely big enough to draw the attention of popular media. If Sasha Grey did bikini baths on stream, it would connect the dots of Twitch's real "moral codes" immediately.

@reallivebluescat 2 жыл бұрын

Omg women have bodies!!! What a crime!!! Such a strange phenomenon with this (feigned) new form of modesty - almost "Lutheran" style of judging content . But it's just same ol mysogony . OH NO SHE SHOWS AN ANKLE , WHAT A WH*RE . you guys make me laugh. "All these poor men that gets fooled into giving all of their money to these "sluts" online bohooo. I'm such a victim". Grow up

@ThePiscesPixie 3 жыл бұрын

man i see myself in her so much - the overworking, the overwhelm, the feeling the pain of everyone and not being able to help crying and wanting to get away from it ❤ i'm terrible at being responsible for myself too - this video has helped a lot, thankyou

@paulgotik 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think the overworking was on the same level thow. But I see what you mean.

@sg_onefly 2 жыл бұрын

She has spoken out about this on many occasions and had to fight for way too many years because of being in porn industry. She’s such a great person and very relatable in many ways. She made a mistake and trying to change her future.

@Damesanglante 6 ай бұрын

It was not a mistake. She was greedy and took the shortcut. And now she is still trying to get easy money and fame without really working. People are so gullible when a pretty woman talk, it's ridiculous.

@MsDOPE7 2 жыл бұрын

That ending was so epic hahaha this stream is really worth every second ❤

@florianclaaen7535 11 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for that conversation.

@eclipsedbadger 3 жыл бұрын

Just starting the video, but i must say that we NEED this kind of content. We need to see examples of mental health talk, because we have spent years and years as a society hiding this subject. We need to talk about it, we need to bring it up, show people how it looks or works. Also what can be done and what can't be done, the boundaries between patient and therapist and so on. This talk is long overdue in all of human society, specially after so many wars, economic instability, natural disasters. For years we struggled to understand or talk about mental health, so yeah...now I think this is a good time to face it. I went through Hell, I want to be better and i specially want others to know that they can feel better to. Keep up with this work, sir...even a tiny grain would help. Love from Argentina 🇦🇷

@LuElv1 3 жыл бұрын

Aguante el diegote viejaaaa papahh

@remondx8880 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah we know. The guy has been doing interviews for a number of years now.

@urmama54 3 жыл бұрын

@@jeffphillips1832 to help the masses, dr k needs to start a cult

@777hendrix 3 жыл бұрын

Nosotros por lo menos podemos entender ingles y hay bastante contenido sobre psicologia. Lo que no hay es en español y hace falta

@mbilbo 3 жыл бұрын

What a beautiful finale to an awesome conversation! They do say "show, don't tell." x)))

@JeyDB 3 жыл бұрын

I didn't really know much about Sasha before this, other than her previous career and seeing her on Entourage. Had no idea she was a gamer and streamed, and how chill and down to earth she is. Respect.

@user-rv7ph1jl5y 9 ай бұрын

Profound and deeply insightful Dr K.. Yay for Sasha too for being open to such fab support, wisdom and challenge and opening the door to create a new soft spot for her to get relief. I relate to her perspective and to Dr. K's guidance 100%

@MediumDon 3 жыл бұрын

We love to see two cult leaders propping each other up 🙏

@shreyasprabhu3673 3 жыл бұрын

@TheMortalKomic 3 жыл бұрын

@@shreyasprabhu3673 they discuss how they have qualities that draw people aka cult leaders

@hansonel 3 жыл бұрын

Dr. K should join forces with her and sell aoe essential oils

@TheMortalKomic 3 жыл бұрын

@@hansonel we can rule this city Dr K, or we can just fight to the death

@bigdicknigga3746 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheMortalKomic we can rule this city mortalkomic, or we can just fight to the death

@dweblinveltz5035 3 жыл бұрын

I love these streams, man. Some of the best stuff to come out of livestreaming.

@VortalPortex 2 жыл бұрын

I thought i wouldn't get much out of this interview, but it was just so stupidly helpful. Thanks DrK and Sasha, both.

@m.e.studios1109 Жыл бұрын

I can relate so much to her, I picked up her vibe instantly and already knew this would be gold! Thank you for this interview, it leaves me a bit less feeling I’m battling certain fights alone when it comes down about being a girl and getting a bit more treated as a boy, or as I always look at it, I had the luxury of expressing myself organically without the idea I was a girl, but could just be me in a sense. Now I see a lot of other women around me that seem like they don’t know who they really are, and making friends this way is sometimes hard, but in a way I also carry a lot of guilt, as it felt like I "survived" the system in my own way and they didn’t seem to have that opportunity…

@rohanking12able 9 ай бұрын

What system? Like home system or like female society

@ThisIsBetaGaming 3 жыл бұрын

That Vata stuff was so on point it was crazy. Dr.K just explaining everything I struggle with in terms of procrastination. The hardest part though is setting yourself up/personal projects for the "crisis/deadlines" thing.

@Marceles45 3 жыл бұрын

I'm really having a hard time thinking of a better interview Dr. K has had than this one

@Yang-ob4lk 3 жыл бұрын

Damn, the analogy of the little kid that can't clean their room made me cry, I'm 31 and still feel like that all the time

@PhillipAmthor 3 жыл бұрын

Im 27 and its really annoying

@Yang-ob4lk 3 жыл бұрын

@@PhillipAmthor It's this feeling of complete overwhelmedness..

@PhillipAmthor 3 жыл бұрын

@@Yang-ob4lk For me its more like. I dont wanna do it. Im not good at it. And this world is fucked up anyway why cant i enjoy myself till im done?

@holyshiet787 2 жыл бұрын

@@PhillipAmthor ur lazy bro

@fuzzhouse507 3 ай бұрын

This was so helpful for me. Thank you for doing this.

@NoblesseOblige-17 3 жыл бұрын

I'm totally not procrastinating by watching this. Definitely not.

@whyme9x3 3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@mojolotz 3 жыл бұрын

No. You're watching this to learn to better handle procrastionation. That's what i am doing. Definitely not procrastinating

@NoblesseOblige-17 3 жыл бұрын

@@mojolotz I believe you, though I think in my case it really is just that, lol.

@mojolotz 3 жыл бұрын

@@NoblesseOblige-17 Sorry forgot to add /s

@NoblesseOblige-17 3 жыл бұрын

@@mojolotz Ah, thought it might be that based on the last sentence, but wasn't sure.

@sqadoodlebop2796 3 жыл бұрын

The collab I never expected to see

@ellamysteryofself9049 5 ай бұрын

I love this!! The struggles Sasha has are very very similar to my own. Self enquiry is my thing and I’m very analytical probably being in survival mode a lot but this helped me ask myself the questions asked so understand myself more

@kenny-kvibe 3 жыл бұрын

This kind of conversations are AWESOME with all due respect, I loved the whole video & I'm Amazed. Stay awesome!

@scruffymakaveli6870 3 жыл бұрын

One thing I realize is every person has some sort of ego problem. No matter how rich, poor, humble you are, there will be moments where in order to protect our egos we will not address the problem. Ego really does blind a person, doesn't it?

@Margiela001 3 жыл бұрын

That's our core problem/function as humans with self-awareness, we attach our"selves" onto anything we can.

@stanhogenelst2555 3 жыл бұрын

You'll need to care about yourselves to survive that does indeed mean that we are inherently egocentric. Luckily we have the ability to kind of break through that. All though that takes alot of effort.

@zlg1388 3 жыл бұрын

Quoting Alan Watts "Ego doesn't exist,ego is a concept". So you keep following,chasing or fighting against something that doesn't exist...GL with that LOL. My ego meaning years ago I think its really close how Dr K described, ego is either a defense mechanism or insecurity disguised as arrogance,but again those words are concepts we imaginate in our minds to translate the reality in symbols or are just useful to comuncate with other people. Don't fight with yourself or others,surrender and just watch what happens,don't get obsesed with that little word because you can miss a lot of things,Im saying this because I fell into that trap,maybe you not.You are not by any means wrong ,but I want to share this little tip just in case, don't overvalue or overate a concept.❤

@donsanjino 3 жыл бұрын

i think ego is a self-protection mechanism of our animal brain. It's like those instincts that'll wake you up if a predator is approaching you at night while you're out camping in the open. At the same time it can be irrational and limiting as well if developed out of extreme anomalous experiences that do not reflect everyday life. In which case it might become a model in our brain developed from faulty, inaccurate data. So it's supposed to be a good thing but we gotta watch out that it doesn't become detached from reality, and if it does we gotta reprogram it. Reprogramming i think is the tricky part, since it requires *identifying* which knobs and variables to tweak.

@RowFive 3 жыл бұрын

@@zlg1388 Could you reiterate the last part? About "not fighting with yourself"? I got kind of lost there

@3v068 3 жыл бұрын

Not the interview I was expecting. But the interview I needed.

@iljaovcharenko406 Жыл бұрын

First time I see procrastination been broken down so well. Precise and transparent description. 100% relatable examples. This is priceless and so far unique. Thank you!

@arturohurtado9307 3 жыл бұрын

Is the first time I have seen a 3 hour interview, damn this was a truly good interview, and I learned many things, thanks

@illusorybucket5703 3 жыл бұрын

My two favorite people come together to talk about ball juggling. What a time to be alive.

@jennylong8326 Жыл бұрын

I've done therapy but you're way better than all the therapists I've been through

@silk9310 9 ай бұрын

After watching all his interviews, hes honestly given me such a different, more healthy view of the world he has good philosophy and I think thats what makes him such a good therapist.

@bishopoftroy 9 ай бұрын

i don`t find him very empathic, yes, he makes sure he`s saying the right words to be perceived but i don`t think he is really empathic, he is a bit of narcissist and likes to hear himself talk therapist stuff.

@jennylong8326 9 ай бұрын

@@bishopoftroy it's better not to be empathetic, because it allows you to be objective and rational

@henritaas9997 5 ай бұрын

@@bishopoftroy why do you say that? Do you remember times where he acted narcissistically? Legit curious, unless you think it's something more of his personal life, because if that's the case I see what you mean, but I think he's pretty good at hiding this on the interviews, he does listen to people

@bishopoftroy 5 ай бұрын

@@henritaas9997 No, i don`t know anything about his personal life. In videos he gives fairly good advice in general but putting myself in his guests` place i imagine i wouldn`t choose him as my therapist. He listenes to people sure but he seems always eager to show his professional prowess and expertise when i as a pacient with severe depression i don`t need my therapist to be so quick...i don`t know how to really put this, so eager to show me that he knows what`s wrong. I need someone to just listen and i need to see he`s taking his time to process my pain. He seems to assertive and it`s like he`s waiting for the pacient to finish talking so he can talk. I understand this is a youtube video and he needs the content but still, i wouldn`t feel any chemistry with this guy. But that`s just me. Maybe someone else needs this.

@MoonlitMongrel 3 жыл бұрын

I really have so much appreciation for all the streamers who come on the show

@meganjohnson9540 8 ай бұрын

I’m so late to the party…thank you so much for sharing this. Respect, all over town for both of you. Thank you!

@Fleato 3 жыл бұрын

something i feel when she said " i struggle knowing how to prioritize things" in the frame of procrastination, i would thing most people dont actually struggle with knowing a priority of tasks but the actual desire to do them. (this isn't advice directed at sasha or anything just a view from my situation) i know the priority of things i need to do but i struggle with motivation to do them. right now i know my highest priority should always be school, but in practice ive been putting it almost the lowest on priority because im so exhausted of it.

@VioletEmerald 2 жыл бұрын

I think though this is a warped way to view priority. School is someone else's priority but often not the procrastinators and trying too understand why we struggle to deprioritize other things that are keeping the higher priority spots for us or getting more motivated and convinced to prioritize school can be really difficult.

@tldw8354 4 ай бұрын

this may be a late reaction, but if you are exhausted, then fixing the causes of you exhaustion would be the highest priority - not school or your priority list. but thats just my thought. I know what you mean and i often have the same problem, or similar.

@tevl3551 3 жыл бұрын

2:42:05 It's cool that this is an actual way to deal with that. I had problems with procrastination until I took a programming course in college that taught breaking problems down as a core technique. I realized I could apply this to more than just programming and it helped a lot. Although I never really put two and two together.

@eideticex 2 жыл бұрын

It really does work. I learned that early on having learned programming at an early age. Finding a place in the world that lets you do that or understands the value of it is a whole other ball of wax.

@Sky-de7oy 3 жыл бұрын

My, that was some amazing 3h. I took some notes on procrastination and i'll try out the tips. First time hearing of needing restraint. Very interesting.

@chiaramerlo9746 3 жыл бұрын

This conversation is so precious

@Ri4Fu 3 жыл бұрын

i almost never view the stream on twitch, mostly i view the yt vid after. But he's still the only twitch streamer i have a Subscription for because i think his content is hugely important.

@nixi7688 3 жыл бұрын

I suddenly got her after the insight that she grew up in a tough neighbourhood. She had no choice but to pull herself up with her bootstraps and she always has that anxiety that if she does not keep working she winds up back where she started. She does not have the privaledge of being weak or having a breakdown. Failure is not an option. So I totally get why being shadow banned is frustrating because she is still being looked at as other and having disadvantage thrown in to keep her down. She can mask it with humour, but it's anger. No wonder she was upset about seing other peoples struggles on social media and how society is rigged against you if you don't fit the mold.

@nixi7688 3 жыл бұрын

Also explains why she's so stuck on following a passion project, if she ain't got somewhere safe to fall back on she runs the risk of losing it all. She's been trained to prioritise survival over fulfilment. She's also been trained to be self reliant. Literally, her main asset in her career has always been herself.

@photoniccannon2117 10 ай бұрын

I can relate to this so much it's not even funny. Show too much of yourself and you'll have to run for the hills, it's a merciless world.

@Damesanglante 6 ай бұрын

She took the easy route without thinking. I grew up in a world much worse than her. I was offered to collect money for shylocks and refused. There are consequences for our actions.

@MysteryProductsLtd 2 жыл бұрын

Again, fascinating to listen to this discussion, thanks.

@bisamohd8500 3 жыл бұрын

So so useful! Thank you 😊😊😊

@RockLou 3 жыл бұрын

Sasha has appeared in over 300 pornos, written books, appeared in movies and games (at 32) and SHE'S procrastinating??

@formatme 3 жыл бұрын

doing a job you are paid to do, to make a living, you don't really get to procrastinate. writing on the other hand i can see.

@ex0stasis72 3 жыл бұрын

How does one...appear...in...written books?

@doctapeppur1900 3 жыл бұрын

@@ex0stasis72 Re-read lol

@ex0stasis72 3 жыл бұрын

@@doctapeppur1900 lol, I’m just a fan of word play, so I like joking around when I see ambiguity.

@RockLou 3 жыл бұрын

@@formatme I beg to differ, I procrastinate at work all the time lmao

@ryanhollist3950 2 жыл бұрын

The discussion of how people change when they are on camera reminds me of Jean-Paul Sartre's theory of "the gaze." Basically, the awareness that someone else is observing us is a very powerful psychological force. Being watched by others is what he was referring to when he made his famous quote, "Hell is other people."

@rohanking12able 9 ай бұрын

Unless you don't care for a mask

@is-ness Ай бұрын

Hell is identified thoughts. He was wrong. We cause our suffering.

@ryanhollist3950 Ай бұрын

@@is-ness I don't know if that is an argument against the gaze. There may be nothing more powerful at making us aware of our own thoughts than knowing we are being observed.

@ctlo4403 Ай бұрын

Observation changes the behavior of atoms.

@danimal519 3 ай бұрын

Love her. Love Dr. K. How great it is to see all of these unspoken parts of how we live and see ourselves brought to air!

@ChrisWCorp 3 жыл бұрын

Such a great conversation and really interesting topics towards the end about parasocial relationships, procrastination, and Vata.

@JoshTheHoffman 3 жыл бұрын

Dr. K Is my favorite person that makes me laugh and cry. He points out how broken I am and it does help.

@FlynLatif 3 жыл бұрын

biggest takeaway - if you struggle with procrastination and are prone to burnouts, take more frequent breaks, long before you become tired at all (among other things, you will get more and more comfortable/familiar/smooth/strong with the act of starting work)

@jvolc 3 ай бұрын

1:42:23 "You always have to talk about what you have to be GRATEFUL FOR." - Dr. K.

@MarkusKnecht 2 жыл бұрын

this was so helpfull, I take a lot of small breaks during work, because I feel I need them and because I feel, I work better that way. But I always felt as if I was wasting time by duing so and felt bad about it as a consequence. After the last segment of this, I realized why I do this and that this is healthy for me and I do not have to feel bad about it.

@thomasblythe5996 3 жыл бұрын

This is going to be a popular upload

@nebel_slayn4290 Жыл бұрын

I never thought I'd have so much in common with Sasha Grey. We share a lot of qualities and struggles. This was interesting!

@lawrencedreams 10 ай бұрын

I never thought I would be so touched and empathetic with her. And I know this would be pretty alienating to if it reaches you and it won’t probably but this was very insightful and interesting and I hope she get the love and understanding that she deserves and learn to be vulnerable again cause even when she is she’s beautiful and it’s good to have her here. I think her opening up was more valuable and interesting to me than all on her adult videos tbh and made me appreciate her as a person, not as an object for sexual desire or compassion.

@morimora5730 2 жыл бұрын

Appreciate this long form, authentic content and admire your breaking of the norms! Also you’re very good at what you do, not that you didn’t know that 😄

@odenmof 5 ай бұрын

I just love this interview, I don't think Sasha nor Dr k is going to read my comment but I just wanna say, as a 33yo man, I got a bunch of laughs and almost teared up myself when Sasha got emotional. And also, I think Sasha would've succeded with streaming even if she wasn't famous prior. She got that carisma and genuinity that you so rarely see people have. Thank you so much for this.

@jletsgoo 2 жыл бұрын

7:50 9:50 life advice, 'therapy' 11:20 19:40 22:37 mask, ur actually leaving out the best part of yourself 26:40 what they need to hear, transparent, authentic 45:50 47:15 what makes u feel u have to do sm? 58:50 lack of security > take as much as u can > overwhelmed 1:03:30 1:08:10 shadowban, different standards 1:09:30 1:10:17 accepting ppl 1:19:30 devaluing own 1:21:50 1:22:57 wallowing self pity, hard to be around 1:24:20 pushing down, not dealing w 1:24:50 why do you have to be so strong?.. 1:25:10 dam ur good! aw dislike pity 1:28:15 vs respect 1:31:10 u vs others, different circumstances 1:34:20 1:36:20 in becoming strong, u had to grow up 1:37:42 ur story isnt just one of triumph, its struggle 1:39:30 are we allowed to feel for u? accepting compassion 1:40:30 1:41:30 for how much longer? if not dealt w 1:43:30 perspective to stay strong.. but i dont think u need to stay strong 1:43:45 😂 1:48:50 parasocial relationship 1:50:20 understanding someone who doesnt w boundaries 1:53:47 where they expect emotional intimacy 1:56:30 1:59:00 2:02:26 on ur half, for community 2:03:50 😂2:04:55 the stronger the parasocial rel. the stronger the user engagement.. 2:05:55 check boxes 2:07:40 2:10:20 2:11:50 bpd

@jletsgoo 2 жыл бұрын

2:20:00 2:24:40 wind 2:26:40 O.O 2:31:50 to pass on opportunities 2:34:00 proc. bc not ready, until everything 'ideal' > fantasy of execution in head, chase for perfection > paralysed in moment 2:35:10 doing it perfectly or not at all, *' it's gonna be so great WHEN i do it' * attached to particular outcome, grieve that perfect outcome (it will suck but its ok) 2:38:00 avoidance procrastination > protective mechanism (from emotional possibility of rejection) 'bad', 'lazy' > diagnosing self w unfixable, cant be dealt w at the end of the day, driven by fear of failure, trying to control circumstances to avoid emotion 2:40:20 operational procrastination/ adhd 2:41:40 breaking down task > component parts overwhelmed, task too abstract 2:43:00 get a job > more than 1 part to it 2:44:40 procrast. =/= problem > brain for efficiency, energy investment 2:45:40 pick 3 projects & rotate, bring out interest & excitement 2:46:40 !! dont motivate when its time to stop, demotivate/restrain excitement to cram > burnout 2:48:15 u can have other ppl help/schedule for u 2:50:20 breaks 2:51:30 2:52:40 motivation of crossing off, but running out of steam, restrain ur plate 2:53:47 😂 restraint 2:55:30

@vSilverXXProduction Жыл бұрын

hero

@simonk5571 8 ай бұрын

Wheres the juggle many balls part?

@user-bm9yj7gr9y 4 ай бұрын

I came for the procrastinating part a little after 2:29:00

@user-bm9yj7gr9y 4 ай бұрын

I like the part where he lets us unwind after 2:46:10, because I need that too, just in moderation compared to how much time I waste today

@Aikidjam 2 жыл бұрын

What a fascinating personnality. That was a very interesting and warming talk. I'm also a big procrastinator, and have read and searched about it, and tried to manage it more or less fine for a long time now. ANd I still learned smthing new. (I think mine is a mix of operational and avoidant prorcrastiantor, and a Vatha too !) Thanks a lot for making us understand ourselves better, and especially for always giving practical solutions, or ways to cope ... BTW, Sacha, you have beautiful hands (nothing sexual intended here to be clear) ... I'm sure you've been already told that, It doesn't hurt to say it more :)

@galihcd Жыл бұрын

I am late to the party the fact this is from a year ago but, this is the very first long duration video I've watched on yt ever, and that I am really enjoying it and definitely learn something from it. She is very smart and a strong-willed individual.

@Roadrunner_KZSK 3 жыл бұрын

This video was a huge revelation for me. I've been watching Dr.K for quite a while now and heard about the different types of minds, etc. However I always thought the types are associated mostly with the way you think/how well you can focus and that I'm probably vataand didn't think much of it. Only in this particular podcast it struck me when Dr.K was talking about the two doctors coming up with this dasha system and was hurling out symptoms. HOLY SHIT. Every single vata related thing he said resonated so much with me.I had no idea you can be prone to different diseases for example. Last year I had cold for 3 months straight, I also dream of flying, I'm skinny, I focus hard on different things but abandon them after 2-3 weeks etc etc.. This gives me hope now that I'll perhaps learn to steer myself better to greater success.