The snack that smiles back *Children!*

Don't mess with crocs. Once they get their motorcycle engine going and start galloping, you better run for the hills

"don't sexualize kitchen appliances" Hank: * glances at blender * sorry

*I envy how good Jack is at impressions/accents*

actually one guy once got killed in a Counter-Strike knife fight, then he spent 7 months tracking who killed him and when he found the guy, he stabbed him, luckily the guy survived

This is why i like Jack. cause instead of just saying "no!" in disgust, he sometimes adds to the joke.

That game where his son died of coca in is called bitlife, I died in kindergarten after a fellow student randomly threw a grenade at me in class, it's just an American life simulator at this rate

"we have a fucking army" yeah... Suicide Squad

Humans: Crunch dead leaves because the sound is satisfying Leaves in another dimension: Crunch dead human bones because the sound is satisfying

When ever jack says that “he’s the snack that smiles back” I can only imagine a talking Goldfish that sounds like him

All of the emkay narrators have calming enough voices for me to fall asleep to.

Jack at 6:06: " don't sexualize kitchen appliances, please." Me: "boy, Wait till you learn about Rule 34."

Here's a fact: Cuban crocs are the best crocs. They're comrades

Bible: Jesus can turn water into Wine Me: *Jesus is invited to my party.*

17:18 And this is why you don’t separate siblings in foster care

Jasper: *Drinking Coffee* I haven't slept in 6 months Metal Jasper: How have you not fainted yet? Jasper: I drink 3 cups of coffee a day, and idk why garnet is mad at me Edit (Comment is from 3 weeks ago): Idk why people find this funny

Fun fact: the highest honor of gaming is being called a hacker after beating a kid hard

"Why do woman live longer than men?" Me and the boys at 7 years old: The oldest one by a couple months: "okay so we're jumping off the roof and whoever jumps higher when they land on the trampoline wins" The other 4: "aight lets do this"

The noah’s ark is actually a theme park, i’ve been inside. Its really neat and educational.

"Girl: are you gonna hit a gir-" EmKay: *KATAMARI DAMACY*

The “sims” game is BitLife. It’s strange. A 6 year old can die from texting and driving. 🚶‍♂️

8:33 it’s a game called BitLife and it is a life simulator that just randomly gives you scenarios

8:40 called bitlife

“The highest honor in gaming is beating a kid” -Emkay, Nov 8 2020

Fun fact: There is a person named Kim Jong-un telling everyone *"Cuban Crocs* *are the best crocs.* *They're comrades"*

4:58 Jack’s laughing like he’s being held at gunpoint.

4:31 Anne Frank lofi hiphop beats you can relax/study to

8:30 that game used to be se good until recently where everything is now locked behind a paywall

Are we not gonna talk about “Ohana means CATCH THESE HANDS”

"This was more painful than the time I got stabbed 23 times." I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. *2 3 S T A B W O U N D S*

4:09 -Welp, time to whip out the Luigi Board.

Calling it "The Piston Cup" in CARS is like having a trophy called "The Intestine cup".

Mom: You're a boy, do more boy things Me: ok Me: Gets a boyfriend Mom: Now listen here you little

6:34 ... Sniper no Sniping. Sniper no Sniping. Sniper no... *Bam* Damn, almost made it.

Fun fact: the replica of the Ark they spent millions on is actually neither waterproof nor capable of floating. It's also one of the biggest financial failures of any commercial tourist attraction.

Jack: “Don’t sexualize the kitchen appliances, please, I use them daily!” Me: Yeah, I bet you do... Also Jack: 6:13

The highest honor in video games is beating a kid so hard that they accuse you of being a cheater, calm down and add you as a friend, plays with you and learns from you, and then has grown so much from your skill that he beats you. I see them as my children and I miss the BO2 boys 😥

This makes me want to crack my spine like a glow stick

The "I hate Spotify adds" one made me spit my juice out.

**Slams book on table** 23 STAB WOUNDS!! 7:34

Day 1: Robin should do bone hurting juice

7:58 they missed out on the chance to say "Kink's awakening"

0:08 Still though the x men typically fight other mutants or supernatural beings so unless he's fighting magneto or a human threat he wouldn't really be useful.

9:35 . . . T H I S I S D E F I N A T L Y N O T W E I R D . . . N O T A T A L L . . .

The one with married siblings isn't intentional so it's not Alabama. It's Pennsylvania

11:21 As a person from the Czech republic, I could never be more proud 🇨🇿

5:06 EVERYTIME I SEE THIS I BURST OUT LAUGHING XDDDDD

"Who lives in a crackhouse and snorts ecstasy" "My Grandpa Chris!"

Person: "Blow my mind" Me: *pulls a gun* Person: "hold up!"

i've heard so many kids in my basement joke that it's no longer considered dark humor i now only laugh at actual kids in my basement

It's funny how making jokes about having people in your basement and stuff like that is so common people could be serious without anyone knowing

3:25 The way Jack delivers the “You spelled ‘Eat’ wrong. Made my not only shoot Mountain Dew out of my nostrils but I laughed so hard I wet my favorite boxers… Now I have to smell like pee until laundry day! 😢 Edit: Some people are asking why I don’t change Underpants and I thought it was weird you have more than one pair…

Sex actually is a lot like maths. You still don't get it.

2:53 "I Yearn The True Gender Equality" - The Big Three

1:17 we all know what comes next

11:47 it is called bitlife jack.Edit: i blew myself up it in the army

Don’t that dude mean: “Dora the Drug Importer”? Hmmmm

Human trafficking: **Exists** Luigi: _invest_

“Eating Sugar?” “No Papa” *”Doing Lines?”* “...” “...” *”M a y h a p s.”*

0:24 jack is a snack got it

17:49 Perfect way to re-enact his father’s death, his dad was a great pilot

Physicians in the middle ages did taste the urine of knights and nobles in order to inform the cooks of what kinds of food to prepare. For instance, if the urine was sweet, they have high blood sugar and the cooks should not prepare anything sweet for that day. They didn't know that diabetes was a thing, but they knew that sweet pee meant too much sugar and it needed to be balanced out by consuming less.

That Hearing AIDS joke was 👌 *chefs kiss*

1:02 No, the highest honour in gaming is beating a kid so hard he shoots the s**t outta himself

girl: you wouldn't hurt a girl would you me: GENDER EQUALITYYY

4:23 then they would marry each other on top of his coffin

"name this dog after the last thing you ate" Toast. and it's absolutely correct.

1:22 pretty ironic given that in Christianity and Judaism two of the biggest religions that believe in angels it says that you don’t go to heaven if you commit suicide

17:08 god the scream on the background is killing me xd

For everyone’s safety the ark will not be needed in the bible it says that god will not flood the world again that is why the rainbow is seen to remind u of hi promise UNLESS WE FREAKING MELT THE ICE CAPS

The children were fast. But my truck was faster.

2:15 who's gonna tell em

8:47 FUN FACT: dolphins are smarter than us; the only reason they aren`t a civilization is because there`s no fire in water.

Are... are we just going to ignore that the Kink one says “they said ruin not improve”...?

That “sims” game was bitlife.

11:38 I will never forget this statement. Thank you Jack 😂😂😂

"I have kids in my basement does that count?" Guy in farmers add: "that is something to behold"

Well, this is the earliest I'll ever be again.

"Over my dead body!" Me: If I believed in hell, I'd be going for laughing at this.

12:37 I laughed way too hard at that

6:00 I'll take two at a time We don't talk about the blender

Haven't watched but i can tell it will be good already

The giggling and Pacman sounds are LIFE xD

'the highest honour is beating a kid' ~jack 2023

17:50 « they demolished a few of those buildings.... » They did a bit more then demolish them but close enough, time to knock them down now to make it accurate.

I miss Damien

When I was little I thought Diego and Dora were dating Turns out they are just cousins Unless... ***🎵sweet home Alabama🎵***

What pisses me off about the "ark" in Kentucky is that they bill it as an exact replica of Noah's ark... but they built it using modern construction equipment, the wood is pressure treated lumber, the hull is wrapped in Tyvek, the boat has no bottom because the weight of the ark would crush the hull, so they've replaced the entire bottom of the hull with steel-reinforced hardened concrete pillars anchored directly to a steel superstructure built inside the ark to hold it all together, all the wood cross-beams and support structures are reinforced with iron, there is a steel reinforcing lattice running throughout the boat to help hold it together because even the heavy iron reinforcements on the wood supports isn't enough to take the weight of the structure, they had to build an enormous ventilation and cooling system throughout the ark because if you build it to specification, even without any animals on-board, the air will become so toxic that it will become deadly to human beings breathing it within two to three days at most, and to top it all off, the back half of the ark is missing because they had to build a huge steel-reinforced concrete building with what is, essentially, a large support claw wrapped over the top of the "ark" to hold everything in place and keep the ark from collapsing onto its side... And when asked whether he felt like it was at all a cheat using all the modern construction equipment, materials, and techniques-- not to mention the fact if a flood did come along, the "ark" would just sit there like a lump as the water rose over it because it is in no way seaworthy-- Ken Ham answered with a straight face that we have no idea what sort of machinery or materials were available to Noah and his family back when they built the ark, so no one can prove his version isn't completely faithful and accurate to the boat described in the Old Testament, which means for all we know, he got it just right. Yet there are still people who look at this man and think he isn't lying his ass off to scam them out of everything they're worth, who take their children to him so he can teach them the "real" history of the world.

1:48 C H O N K

*yum*

I have NO idea how people have a favorite EmKay narrator. They all are SO good! How do you pick only one?

On the glowing balls one you sounded like the teacher from ghost stories dubbed 😭😂 Great video btw-!

I love these videos. But the minds of some of these people, my god.

Fun fact: Someone is making a fun fact about the people who comments didn't watch the video yet

2:24 unsubscribes a cancels notification

The parents telling their grandkids how they walked to school raised a child and survived a pandemic:

13:40 in the clip he was watching an orange getting peeled representing p

06:05 Toaster says "oh yeah, slip it in my slot, I can take two at a time!" Couldnt resist...

The highest honor in video games is being called a hacker when you did Not cheat.

3:03 luckily the court keeps records of all trials