To me my tipping point was two years into my transistion and it was when I could no longer see my old self. It was very validating but also scary as it was the end of my past life as I knew it.

This happened to me this week after months of social transition. I am finally starting getting used to my name and pronouns. 😊

I'm in transition and i totally understand what you're talking about. I'm a very patient person and nothing happens over night. But if you're in transition just know it does take time and you need to not be so hard or negative about yourself or what you're doing. Stay the course , stay positive and be patient. This is not the first tipping point you have reached in your life. You've just forgot about them is all. Jobs have tipping points , learning to dance , ride a bike , talk , walk , read and even socializing all have tipping points. You learn to adjust and do these things very well. We all were nervous and unsure about driving a vehicle for about a month to 1/2 a year right. So you have to be patient and Dr Z is so right and she is spot on. Be patient and learn to love the journey there will be ups and downs as there always is in life

Now it's my turn to say that this video came out just at the right moment. My therapist reformulated what I said during our session this morning and she made the same analogy with climbing a mountain. I replied that yes, it was exactly like that. I didn't reach that tipping point yet and I still struggle with making progress and uncertainty. I know myself to be a woman but I don't always see it. Thank you Dr Z. I always appreciate your videos.

I’m in my fifth month on hormones. I am also in a plateau, so... the timing of this video is perfect for me to not lose hope. All those doubts mentioned here? That’s my last month or so, in a nutshell. Thank you for this.

Hi! Thanks for supporting, today is my 2 day in HRT and I'm in front of the mountain but I feeling happy to start!

To me I feel like I've been climbing this mountain for 7 hundred years but in reality it's only been 7 months. It's frustrating to see other trans people so far along and see that I have barely changed at all. I have to keep telling myself that they've been on this road longer than I have and that eventually I will be where I need to be. But man, I want it all now, not in 5 years. I so can't wait to get to the downhill side of this mountain. I know it will come, just why does it have to come so slow. Why isn't science at the point where they have a pill or a machine that transitions a person instantly. lol

I hit the tipping point not long after coming out at work and going full-time, I started to REALLY see myself and become comfortable with myself

Adding my voice to this discussion... five years plus into the idea of "transitioning", 18 months after officially exiting the closet, 13 months in on medical transition... but I still feel like I haven't hit this tipping point either. FYI, older transitioner as well. So many parts of my transition are still consistent fights rather than harmonious melodies, and that includes my self-image, my path forward, legal issues, and other aspects. Thank you for at least putting into words why I feel so frustrated with myself and the world recently, but even knowing this doesn't necessarily "help" the problem. Trying to hold on.

definitely in the treading water stage, but only at 16 weeks on HRT and a fairly low dose at that. lots of feeling like nothing is happening, but I also recognize this time is valuable for social transition, especially in regards to my family.

I feel this. Im nearly 10 months on hormones and i keep doubting myself, i havent seen changes yet either. Its also the pressure to conform. Its so overwhelming everything

I don't know how, but you've somehow managed to release the perfect videos RIGHT when I needed them... First the plateau, and now that I'm experiencing the tipping point. It's helped me so much honestly, thank you xoxo! Side note, for me it was 9 months into the transition!

I am at the very beginning, through therapy I realized I am trans, it is perfectly natural to me in thought, now 3 years later I am finally getting to the point where I am ready to start transitioning. Three are small tipping points to each step. Definitely following you to hear more. Thank you.

Definitely experienced this recently, just coming on to 6 months on HRT. I noticed I was passing a lot more and bought a new jacket and when I saw myself in the mirror while trying it on it wasn't that I looked completely different but I could imagine what I'm going to look like in a year or two and I felt confident about it, which I never felt before that point.

Thank you Dr. Z, wise words as always ☺️

What you describe is a common phenomena with most of our activities. The initial rate of change is very recognizable because we compare it to the previous status quo and it feels like real progress. Over time the curve flattens and the rate of change becomes less to the point that you believe that no progress is being made. As you mention, that is the phase when you get closer and closer to the summit, and soon you will be on the other side of the 'hump'.

You are awesome! Totally helpful. Thanks!

thank you for another great video🙏🏼❤️

Your use of metaphors brings images to light like a poet or songwriter. It can be so easy to misinterpret what someone is telling you. It is also likely to be misunderstood when trying to communicate. Thank you for your insight and ability to make complex issues comprehend able and easier to understand.

Thanks for this video. I needed to hear this. I'm still in the up hill battle and waiting impatiently to get to the tipping point. I regularly watch your videos for the support I can't get anywhere else. Thank you so much.

I'm at my tipping point right now.ive been on this journey for so long and I can see myself in the mirror for who I am.thankyou as always for you awesome perspectives and video's. It took almost 6 months to feel this way. But I am finally doing it 🙂

Thank you for making these videos. Having watched your dysphoria videos has finally let me realized that my experiences are in fact dysphoric in nature... despite having my egg crack well over a year ago. Socially transitioning is hard, especially when you’re heavyset and have a large chest, and sometimes it’s extremely difficult to even get up and face the world (darn you, misgendering!), but taking deep breaths and reminding myself that change doesn’t happen overnight helps sometimes. Currently taking the steps needed to go on HRT, which will hopefully be in a couple months at the latest 🙏 I’ll continue watching you for a while yet, thank you.

I'm on the rough side of the mountain where it's a struggle with things like voice, weight and dealing with work because I teach at a public school in a conservative state and they're pasting anti trans bills. While I'm at a rough spot I haven't given up! I have a few things in the plus column.I'm still on my medical transition and losing weight and still moving forward. So I take the little steps I can see some of who I want to be but I have a way to go. This is a great way of looking at things and more importantly I can use the tipping point as a goal! Thanks again Dr.Z!❤️

Hi Dr. Z! 😄 This was something I hadn’t thought about, but since you’ve brought it up, I totally recognize it in myself. I’m almost 8 months into transition, and about a month ago, maybe two, I stopped having to tell myself that I’m a woman. In the beginning, it was like I was constantly trying to convince myself that I was a girl. Now, I just know it, and feel like that most of the time. I still have moments of dysphoria, where I feel like a guy in girl’s clothing, but they are becoming more and more infrequent. I think that one of the big things that helped get me to the tipping point was coming out a work, which was a huge deal for me. After that, I was no longer hiding my real self in certain situations.

Thank you again ☺️

This explains a lot !!!!! I passed it after 7 month of my HRT thank you DR Z 🤘🏼

needed this

Oh Dr Z I need to get past my fear and start hormones and hopefully I can experience this tipping point

I so needed this right now, just started hrt and social transition all at once, and it deffinately feels like climbing a mountain, but i am so excited for this journey.

I don't know if I've reached tipping point yet. I think I have, I am very confident in my presentation, unworried about being clocked, and I truly feel that males are the opposite sex from me. I have had a paradigm shift in my perspective, and while I can't say I have a natal woman's point of view, I can say I've discarded my male point of view. How much is hormones? How much is socialization? How much is just growing up? I don't know, but all together, I am feeling comfortable in myself. If that's the tipping point, then I may have reached it. Thanks Dr. Z for the discussion.

I need my tipping point pronto! I'll look forward to it, though--thanks.

I've come out socially, I'm used to my name but my voice hahahaahahahahahaaaaaa im training everyday for 3+ hours to get it more feminine

I had hit multiple tipping points in my transition but most were helped by a friend, strangers and coworkers indirectly. I had started using the men's bathroom 2yrs ago after a transwoman associate assertively bit respectfully pointed out that I look very masculine and needed to start using the men's bathroom. I had been afraid to do it as I didnt want to be "seen" and kept using either womens or gender neutral. It wasnt until after I was told, that I had even considered just how far I had come. In fact this whole journey has been about coming out AND coming out. Breaking my social egg shell after gaining independance has helped give me a little more courage to jump over those hurdles.

Interesting, as a teen writing lyrics I remember very clearly writing "I'm climbing a mountain but I can't see the peak" I never really knew what I meant, now I think I get it. It was before I knew about GD so it makes sense, I felt the feeling of climbing a mountain but had no idea where that destination of "the peak" really was, nor what was on the other side of the mountain. Nor even where the mountain was I was climbing. A small statement that embodied my sense of feeling lost but still trying to persist to figure myself out. I just found that interesting as a relation and wanted to share. 😇

I feel like my tipping point was the day I accepted the fact that I was transgender not because I wanted to but because I just am and I decided to take that first scary step to seek out a Dr and start HRT and after that 5 months ago life has been so much better. I'm happier, I feel healthier and by far am looking better and even enjoy looking in a mirror and most of all I'm proud of myself for taking that scary step. I know there will be what I want to call not so easy times ahead and I look forward to knocking them out of my path and marching on. Great advice as always Dr. Z I love you.

Hi Dr Z. How is that you always release a video that always hits the bullseye? I am currently in the plateau moment, 4months into my HRT, where I can see no changes after the initial ones, my name change progress both at work and legally has hit a wall that I have to work through to overcome and I am generally feeling very bad and exhausted. But your video about the tipping point gave me hope that there still might be something to look forward to.

Right now it feels as though the ground is sliding from under my feet, the climb up that mountain is sending me backwards. I am having pretty strong self doubt about even starting hormones and I’m still 2 months away from even being able to take that step. All the confidence and surety has evaporated and the journey ahead of me seems so hard and so long I am starting to dread the next step. God, I wish there was just a switch I could flip and wake up tomorrow as the person I see when I close my eyes........

Thank u queen

My experience is rather different as I don't have to climb a mountain but only to go over an hill. My expectations are very limited as I already have a pretty long experience being a woman in public before going full time. But, you are right I probably tip the top of the hill and down on the other side, because now I behave more like my wife, my daughter or other women. In more than two years, I have accumulated a pretty large experience as I'm rising (when allowed) quite a lot Paris, Berlin, Seoul, etc. for work or leisure. You should know that I was struggling to live as a woman full time so hard that the rest were only details. I worked hard on the details.

Im right rhere 😅 thank you so much Doctor I do sometimes feel like “what if this is not for me” just like you mentioned ❤ specially in the mornings when I wake up

Almost 9 months on T and I feel like I'm in the hopelessness and exhaustion stage right now. Praying that the tipping point is coming up soon..

luv u queen

I don’t usually read all the comments to Dr. Z’s videos, but for some reason did so early this morning (76 of them). What struck me was not only how similar, but how different, our experiences have been. We all seem to have been stuck at some point, feeling that nothing was happening even though in our hearts we knew that change continued to occur. Most have not shared it specifically, but I get the sense that we each long for the day when two things have happened: we look in the mirror and see ourselves as the women we know we are. There is no doubt. The journey is at an end. Our souls and bodies have been conformed. (I say women because I am MTF; the experience is equally valid for my trans brothers and NB’s as well; just change the pronouns.) And we have gained the confidence, perhaps certainty is a better word, that the world sees us as female as well. We no longer fear being clocked or read. We are in fact the women we always knew ourselves to be. That point is different for each of us and may or may not be tied up in satisfaction with our appearance and voice (I have great admiration for the courage and visibility of Rachel Levine), but the important thing is that we each feel authentic. On the way to that day we reach and pass our tipping points where the work ahead seems easier though there are many challenges yet to be overcome. For me, I would describe that as regaining my confidence. With plateauing came doubts-doubt that I could ever become, doubt that I would ever be accepted, doubt that I could even accept myself. And that was depressing; it sapped my energy. I began to wonder if I had completely lost my mind. I don’t know if I have reached my tipping point, not because I am unable to identify it or cannot relate to the metaphor of climbing a mountain, but because, at least for me, my tipping point is more like a wall, a barrier I have encountered on my journey that I have to break through to continue on. How do I do it? One chipping blow at a time. As I work away at my wall, I begin to break through in spots. Light starts to pour in from the other side, and if I peer through the cracks I can clearly see my goal. The picture becomes more complete as I chip away. So my tipping point is more like a process. I know it has begun; I have not completely reached the top, have not completely broken through my wall-but I will know when I do. The holes in my wall are the restoration of my hope and a vision of a future which is already becoming a reality, no longer merely imagined in my mind’s eye. The HRT is working. My skin and features have softened, my pores are less noticeable, my fat has begun to be redistributed to create a more pleasing curvy shape. My blepharoplasty (done for medical, not cosmetic reasons) has reshaped my eyes and brow. A woman’s eyes now stare back at me. If the eyes are the window to the soul, my inner woman fills that mirror in all her feminine glory. My hair is growing and thickening, becoming fuller through the magic of my hairdresser (think sprinkle on hair fibers), vitamins to nourish my follicles and Rogaine to stimulate regrowth. My nails are perfect. My breasts continue to develop and be a source of pride. Their persistent sensitivity is a constant reminder that I am going through puberty. I have found the balance in dress and make-up which makes me feel confidently feminine in an understated, but acceptable way. My friends and acquaintances no longer give me a second glance. I am far less self-conscious. (But to be honest, I still long for the day when I can wear my little black dress in public with pride). The pitch of my voice is higher-I have to work at going back to my natural level-and I am learning a new cadence, how to control my timbre. But in spite of all the changes, most would still read me as male. There is work to be done, but I take joy in the little things; I will get there. Perhaps the most important thing through it all is the constancy of my world paradigm. Almost immediately upon accepting my female identity, my world view flipped totally upside down. My perceptions were as a woman, my values were female, my concerns were driven by a feminine need for validation as such. Much of male behavior seemed abhorrent. I became Gloria Steinem. Through the ups and downs of my evolution, that is the one thing I keep coming back to. Every time I question my sanity, every time I worry about not physically becoming the woman I want to be, every time I think it is just too much-too expensive, too time consuming, too pointless, too destructive to my relationships-I ask myself one simple question. Can I go back to the way I was and just forget the whole thing? The answer is always a resounding NO! I can no longer envision life as a male, because I never was one-not really, not at my core. I can’t put the genie back into the bottle. I have never wavered in that conviction. That has been the reliable compass in my journey of becoming, the instrument that keeps me chipping away at my wall, helping to give that one final push to get past my tipping point and over the top of the mountain.

I began social transition about five months ago, and hormone therapy about two-three. For health reasons I've had to temporarily go back off of them for the past month - that has been difficult to have to say goodbye to the comfort and confidence I had only just started to feel with my body - which of course carries over to social comfort and daily wellbeing. I'm hoping that I can use insight and mindfulness to use this as a strength for a greater tipping point that may come.

Ha totally feel tipping point, most substantial thing was going out and about and no one looking at me funny anymore, just being treated better!! Amazing and comforting to loose all of that negative attention 😊😊😊 and looking at a selfie and being shocked at the Lady I'm looking at.. even though head still not fully saying yes I'm that Lady I look that good, dysphoria for what??

I am totally feel like I am somewhere on that plateau. I'm 8 months in now on HRT and I feel way happier now than I ever have after having a bad depressive couple of months. On one level internally I have accepted but on another I have not if that makes sense. I feel like my femininity is still locked away inside of me and not sure what fully unlocks it. I am pushing forward and even took a step to looking into FFS... I hope the tipping point is soon and I can leave a lot of the doubts and fears behind.

Tipping point is yet to come, sometimes I still see my old self. Usually I have a lot of impostor syndrome, but I am getting used to it. I am not on hormones for it is difficult here to get them, lists to gender clinics are very long. But I hope to be there, one day, even without them.

"You're climbing the mountain" Me playing Celeste: Oh, another "gender mountain" reference... Interesting

my tipping point has been when I had my papers updated, with the official gender change... I have got them about 18 months after beginning of transition... for me it has been the end of transition, even if I made many surgeries after...

I've been comparing my transition to when I lost a lot of weight. It took a lot of time and as I was having thoughts of giving up I'd keep telling myself "Patience. Pain is temporary. Tomorrow will be a better day" that little mantra is what made me through it. Now I realise it's going to be another slow and painful progression but I know with time everything will work itself out in the end.

i wish i could put picture comments... i think i quite actually just hit my tipping point two nights ago.... it wasnt anytjing spectacular per se... i just recently changed my hair color (nothing new to me) and in blew it out. put my favorite pair of contacts in, which i wear extremely rarely due to how dry my eyes are. and i always like myself and see myself with better regard with the contacts in for some reason (no they arent prescription 😋 just colored). but this time there was something extra in the pictures i took... something else buffing my reciept of myself besides just the contacts.... i took a few pictures and when i looked at them i felt like i was finally starting to see ME.... a shadownof the me thats in my head was caught in those pictures and its one of the few times i didnt have this knee jerk urge to race to one of those photo face editing apps to make myself more msculine.

I'm in a weeks place in my transition. I'm super comfortable with myself and getting more comfortable by the day, but I don't have that social affirmation in my day to day life because I'm quarantining with my parents and they don't see my as I am, even though I started transitioning early last year. (They're still "trying so hard" but they don't correct themselves or take corrections when they misgender or deadname me.) So idk if I'm at the tipping point yet 😅 can't wait to move out and be free

I really hope my tipping point will be sooner rather than later. It's really hard right now

I took hormones for two months about and then stopped to reevaluate and also because my partner preferred that I stop. I really am curious how I would feel past that point.

When i dress up in my pretty dress and make up i imagine myself like Catherine Deneuve in the movie Belle de Jour.

I don't know if this is experiencing approaching a "tipping point" but there are many days lately where I feel like I'm just putting in the motions. Sure, I still experience euphoria, but it doesn't seem as strong as before. I'm into my fifth month of feminizing HRT.

When I view myself, I see sadness. Hormones reliviated a lot of dysphoria. But there comes a point, where I need surgery

I'm in my second month and I feel like I've seen some changes but it could just all be in my head. Do you know what I mean? For example Is my skin softer, smoother or is it just because I've been putting more lotion on? I sort of see changes in my face but again that might just be all in my head because I want to see them.

Should I be concerned if I change my profile to transgendered? I work for a large gender friendly company. Thank you

🌹How many tipping points are there? 🌹 I couldn't understand so much of what you were saying and sharing here 9 months ago ,,Besides that what you have describe for me particularly , happened many years ago , but then Bam,, 5:40 only just happened yesterday so Yay🎉🎉🎉. In short and you don't need to comment , but I sure you will Dr Z, so let me say it was my pleasure to share this and of course you are quite welcome . jen 🦋

I find that online on facebook people just laugh at posts about anything to do with trans issues because they lack any understanding about the subject. For instance there's this page called ''it's gone viral'' and it angers me to see in their comment section so many ignorant people laughing at people like Elliot Page for being trans and then they make out it's just a choice. The problem is they don't realise that sex and gender aren't necessarily the same, or that gender is a societal construct. Let alone getting into the biology

For those of us who aren't transitioning, and thus have no tipping point because there is no path, those "little moments" are what keep you hanging on.

Obviously in the end its suppose to feel normal. But I relate to the insecurity.

Great topic. Dr. Z., I think it is important to define the y-axis for the curve you are describing. From what you describe, it seems the y-axis is how you feel about how your transition is going. Ashley Adamson describes a curve as well, but her y-axis is how are you are feeling about yourself as a trans person (see kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fsekl7KJnNeWY5s.html). The positive stages of her curve are upward, while yours are downward which is simply a result of how the variable on the Y-axis is measured. She describes multiple tipping points. I think perceptions about how your transition is going also has multiple tipping points, but it looks like you are describing one. Viewing positive feelings as upward sloping like Ashley does, I think there is an ascent once you accept you need to do something about the feelings you have about being trans. You may start cross dressing, gathering information, and/or hormonal treatment. This is a very euphoric time and you feel quite good about your transition. Then a different reality sets in. You start feeling you are not making progress, you think you have plateaued, and/or the person you see in the mirror will never will be the person of the gender you crave. You start to have the sense your transition is hopeless. It is a depressing and anxious time. The slope of your transition curve becomes negative. This may last for some months or even more than a year before you begin to see changes that give you more confidence in your transition. You then become more active in laying out what else you need to do to reach your goals. The curve turns positive and in the end reaches a higher point than at the beginning of your transition. I have been on HRT for six months and have seen changes, but I still present pretty much as a man. I started transitioning in my sixties, so that presents particular concerns for me. After a gender crisis about eight months ago until recently, I felt great having decided to transition and face what I know to be my authentic self. Now, I think I am entering the downward trend in my transition and am feeling frustrated with my progress. Given my age, I am thinking I will never get to a satisfying place in my transition. I hope I will reach the trough soon and start to have confidence to plan other steps I may need to take in my transition. Right now FFS is frightening. GRS seems like an impractical dream. I keep thinking given my age I need to have realistic goals and may need to accept myself more non-binary than trans femme. I may never become passable. Social transition seems a huge challenge. My therapist helps me stay anchored and take one day at a time. Watching Dr. Z videos helps me understand my journey and gives me confidence that everything will turn out better than my life before starting my transition. I think some transitioners get stuck in the trough. I hope that does not happen to me.

:)