With bets like he was laying down, you HAD to know he'd hit something on the flop, surely.

i knew he would win, i just didnt pay attention to his hand

That's no way to win the world series of poker.

NonStampCollector I agree lol

5179anonymous Funny thing for me with that is that I hadn't thought of it until half way through the writing. OR the trip 6es. My eyes popped out of my head when they occurred to me and I realised how perfect they were. It was divine intervention.

+Erik Kartman - You are just a figment of my reality.

+Evol Bob -- Yeah, bro. This is just a dream. Wake up, Bob!!!

I'd love for my name to be hallowed!

Like the Deathly hallows, or Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis?

This comment has 666 likes

+JIGGLYKID I'm offended that your joke is so unoriginal.

I'm offended that you called me out on my unoriginal joke

I'm joke that your original is so offended.

damn Ytube

I'm unoriginal and offended your joke.

Great comment. I had to take a screen shot of it and tweet it.

Lmao

Both Fronts Thinking Except, of course, that the all-powerful and all-knowing Creator, you know, because He IS the Creator, could easily re-arrange any amount of structures on atomic or molecular levels to form a person - again, because He is all-powerful.

NonStampCollector Something doesn't have to be designed perfectly to be an artifact of intelligence. But, I agree that Christianity (the only religion I'm well familiar with) is absurd. However, I also think that the atheist position of everything being a cosmic accident is not credible either. Some people believe consciousness created matter, others believe matter created consciousness, and yet others entertain the idea that matter may be conscious (intelligent) in some aspects.

Clyde Rembrandt The only think you need to be classified as an atheist is to think something like: "There is not enough evidence pointing to god", everything else regarding science is optional.

Not-yet-Dr. Zandi 169 likes nice..

284 likes

569 likes, nice.

I'll reraise

this comment has 666 likes, please no one ever like it again

It's a joy of my life these days that so long after creating these old vids they're still funny to new people. Thanks for the comment :)

@@NonStampCollector I don't know if you did God's voice in this or had someone else do it, but that delivery was amazing. Flawless combination of whiney, narcissistic, and petty, and yet perfectly encapsulates the OT depiction of God.

Nobody but me has done voices in my vids. Trust me though, every line goes take after take after take.

@@NonStampCollector Wow, I've seen quite a few of your videos over the years, and I always assumed that you had friends help with the recording...Much respect and appreciation for putting in all of that work. Cheers.

@@NonStampCollector I'm pretty sure recently (2020) you admitted to having many voices of crowd sourced canned laughter in one of your videos #checkmateatheist 😉

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sex isn’t a sin, but fornication and adultery are, along with all the perverted ways people have sex, like gay sex or bestiality, for example - some seriously sick and twisted stuff there. Sex is a gift and is holy, but we can make it perverted or pornographic. If we follow God’s law then we will have order in our life and interior peace that we all long for. Atheism will never provide that.

​@@st.michaelthearchangel7774 whats wrong with 2 men doing it? I mean im not opposed to banning doing it to your dog but being gay still means youre doing it with another human. Also I think I get along just fine even without god's law-that-he'll-only-enact-on-me-after-i-die.

​@st.michaelthearchangel7774 your God doesn't exist

⁠​⁠@@st.michaelthearchangel7774I mean, being homosexual was a sin, and there were many cases of god having no problem with child related acts… is that “interior peace” to you?

It's a number of which you can be very proud.

Rpodnee a few quantillion.

Jesus fucking Christ, no wonder. @Brennan Herring

Now I’m self conscious of my measly one egg cell a month.

Let's see...beginning at age 11....my lifetime output so far is....[gets out calculator]

Timothy Owens I want to like the comment but the counter is sitting at 666

Ryan Asson I want to love your comment. Neither of us is getting what we want.

Steve Harvey i guess the fact that humans are capable of beliving Christianity is a sort of argument for intelligent design. Lol

NA yea humans are so intelligent that we created a bunch of fake stories and said they’re real heh

Stephanie R. S. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iNeBerh7sJ2ykWg.html

@@heavnxbound So your loving god punished all humanity for ever for the mistakes of two idiots with natural disasters, cancer, world hunger, all sorts of diseases..... What a great guy, quick, let's worship him!

We're so intelligently designed we have several useless and leftover parts

TZR I can get u off ;)

JordinoJordano, o-oh... >.>

So hot, horny guys hitting on strangers

*Looks at bulge* OwO what’s going on here?

I want in on the orgy happening in this thread

*beats god* "i will make that number an evil sin"😠

Desire to be worshipped? You got that all wrong. He created us out of love, not need. If God *needs* something then He wouldn’t be God. This is picturing God as an anxious dude needing acceptance and attention 😂 A sovereign God who created everything from nothing does not *need* anything from anyone. This whole video is the result of misinterpretation and misunderstanding, and making fun of “King James” English... guess you should make fun of Shakespeare too then.

@@heavnxbound "If God needs something then He wouldn’t be God." Ever read the Old Testament? or New Testament? No, NSC pretty much has it right. The stories in the Bible were written at a time BEFORE the "all-everything" god had evolved. See, back then, they didn't believe their gods were ALL powerful, just VERY powerful. And they believed in multiple gods. A very embarrassing passage in the OT ref god's "power" is the one where his chosen people could not defeat the tribe of people who had iron chariots. Quite strange for a god that supposedly CREATED IRON out of nothing! hahaha but poor Yahweh, he couldn't handle those iron chariots! but yes, "god" needs people to believe in him or he would cease to exist just like all the other ancient gods. No one believes in poor Zeus anymore. :( And he no longer exists! (psssst... he never really did anyway, only in the minds of people).

@Eris Socratou YT sends emails on comments sometimes if someone replies so I sometimes see them. :)

Stephanie R. S. If he doesn’t want/need us to worship him why does he want us to? And then sends us to hell if we don’t?

@@TruthSurge greek mythos i think of cool little stories that i like reading.

well when you make beings that have there own free will you cant control them or he would have just made robots. the same way you can't control your children only show them the best path.If your child wants to hate you and tries to kick you out of your house and take over because they want to be you. what are you going to do?

That'll teach those little bastards to rebel against me!

***** Fell sorry for who?

***** People attack things they don't understand or don't want. People have to attack things they don't understand about God when he had given the law to men because there is no fault finding in Jesus Christ. They base there ideas on experiences they have had. When these experiences were never originally intended to be had. Men wouldn't be such pigs if we weren't exposed to constant sexually imagery. The bibles slavery is just modern day employment. Ones boss has complete control over a mans family and life even thought he doesn't "OWN" them. I have found in my many years of being a Christian and many years of not being a Christian it all boils down to people wanting to write there own code of wrong and write. Basically accountability. Most of the same people who hate God and deny he exist and created them. Would be fine with the idea of space aliens creating them because they would still get choose what they want to be wrong and write. They would have no problem being created by them or thanking or worshiping them for making us. I personally don't understand how someone can look at the universe and this planet and think that God is moron. Not to mention the fact that we are made of DNA coded programed living software that streaches to the moon and back. Life is beautiful when people choose to live like Jesus and listen to what he said. Yet people CHOOSE not to and wounder why we have hell on earth. Gods not a moron he just gave us the ability to be morons if we choose =0 Every person on the planet knows that they are important and not just a random process of zombie slim that started living millions of years ago and mutated into thinking,breathing, living beings capable of love, hate murder and kindness. This to me is truly silly notion yet Christians are the ones who get made fun of? All i can do is try and be like Jesus to the best of my ability and if Gods not real then cool. If he is even better and i say this dropping all of my personal experiences because i have had many encounters that would be classified as supernatural. Yet it is up to every person to choose there own path and walk out there own salvation with God. All i can do is try and point the way. Personaly i think everyone knows in there heart that life is no accident yet i can't go around calling people a liar who say they don't know. I think it boils down to people not wanting to do as they are told. Kinda like have good parents on earth. We don't always want to do as say. Yet what they are saying is best thing for us. I just hope in some way that i have helped you see that the God i love. Is not a moron because some guy on youtube makes a video about something he doesn't understand and doesn't want to try and understand. Lots of love and God Bless.

I think god would be a moron or sadistic if he intended for boys to have strong sexual desires by the age of 12 when they're going through puberty, and then tell them that lust, which comes naturally at that stage of life, is a sin! What! Nietzsche was right. Christianity is anti-nature. It takes what comes naturally and makes it a sin.

nice eye

oooh

TheIronwil king of jews

TheIronwil kill Jesus

Could have got a Diamond on the River.

What will I do if men have a higher sex drive than women? Check ur hand

Patrick Ramsey thank you for the great picture

There'll be a new video within weeks. Whether or not it's any good is yet to be judged.

@@NonStampCollector I’m certain I will enjoy tf out of it. Love you bro

I'm not.

@@NonStampCollector I decided that I'd wait until she's asleep again and go back for more. I was holding in the laughter until Noah's Ark and "what are we going to do with the clean animals . Cut their throats and burn them once we reach land" part, but luckily she didn't wake up this time. I'm a fan.

michalchik we got foreskin and massive loads of jizz out of it. the period thing was unfortunate

michalchik The number of MAN for those who have wisdom to understand the logic behind it.

@@kevinstorey6287 This Satan is easily one of the smartest fictional characters of all time.

Thanks Ken. One correction: Australian, not British. Indeed, DarkMatter has stated that my videos did give him some ideas at the start, but there's no doubt whatsoever that he overtook me in every respect pretty quickly. He is indeed the sempai. Thanks for the comment.

@@NonStampCollector I know this is years old, but I really can't get into the darkmatter videos as easily. On the other hand I'm currently in my yearly binge of all your videos oldest to newest.

@@NonStampCollector I saw him credit you in a comment on one of his videos which led me to discover your channel. Really like his stuff but must admit i love yours.

yeah but if he was all knowing he couldve just called off the poker game before it even started and smooth talked the devil out of the game. Either that or its a modified view where he isnt omniscient

​​@@youraveragerobloxkidThat's the funny thing with Christianity. God gives you free will to do evil (like he did to the angels or else Satan couldn't rebel) yet punishes them for choosing a path he KNOWS they will take. Like, the dude punishes Adam and Eve for eating a fruit he KNEW they would eat, so the obvious question is why not just make them have free will but resist the temptation to eat the fruit? I mean he did it with Jesus, dude had free will yet never sinned. So just make Adam and Eve like Jesus.

And puddles *exactly* fit the hole they are in.

kemosabe1967 If there is too much water it does not fit the hole, it overflows, and if not enough it doesn't reach the top of the hole. Clearly, puddles are not Intelligently Designed. Puddles only exactly fit the hole they are in by chance, or for a temporary period of the puddle's changing existence. The apparent diameter of the Moon is not Designed to produce perfect eclipses of the Sun. You happen to be living in the brief period when the changing size of the Moon's orbit produces that effect. However, everybody with legs has a leg length that is Intelligently Designed to reach exactly down to the ground.

And many people are born without use of their legs or with legs at all. Also, vestigial organs disprove intelligent design.

sidd harth 🤣 yes, he’s being hella sarcastic 😝

Is this a joke

not the only thing he stroked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

@@thedancingmoonfoxy7272 LMAO

+Jason Qin yes, just get three 6's and you'll always win.

Heh, 66 likes

joey rodham and that’s one of the reasons his videos are so great.

The "graphics" in fact are perfect!

No the graphics are clearly perfectly designed. Can't you tell?

@Hehe Hehe there's that superior morality again....

+Morgoth Bauglir Ah yes, the Golden Age.

+NonStampCollector Could I request you to make part-2 of this contest?

+NonStampCollector I do love your videos! I've been thinking of supporting you on patreon because I do really enjoy them. But damn, money is tight right now! Can you tell me what you consider a full NSC video? Would I expect them to be along the lines of this video or ones such as the "Context!" video(my favorite by the way)?

broland80917 If money's tight, then just don't go to the bother. My setting up a Patreon account is not intended to bring the slightest bit of stress to anyone ever. Your thumbs up and shares are enough to bring warmth to my bitter atheist heart.

+NonStampCollector There you go being all thoughtful and shit...typical atheist

Not to um actually, but the appendix actually has a store on gut bacteria just in case there is none in the intestines, basically just a kickstart of a (bacterial) culture. Still very prone to getting infected and rupturing then killing someone if its unnoticed. Especially to those who menstruate cus it could just feel like very heavy cramps (Source: my best friend thought their Appendicitis was just really debilitating period symptoms and almost didn't go the hospital cus of this), or just in general cus it can feel like just a really nasty stomach bug, I'd very much call that a flaw.

Over the many years, I’m pretty sure that I’ve repeat watched this more than any other video of KZfaq. Absolute classic!

Your* You're = You are = You do be Your = of you = belonging to you Is that so hard? Can't you just tell the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit?

cuz he had to put em outside IG??

Jillum89 yay math

Cellidor It's useless and looks fucjing disgusting.

@@williamwade9779 wrong wrong wrong

@@Cryptickiller-ry2os It does look funny tho

@@dame3323 dicks look funny/weird in general.

You'll get more hate for this than for saying a given god doesn't exist on a predominantly theist forum. Hitchens responds to a joke about male genital mutilation by shaming the guy, demanding an apology, and asks him what if a muslim person were in here had made that joke about his little girl not missing the piece of skin they cut away? Would the audience have laughed and applauded? How is it at all different? And 99% of the apologia in favor of male infant genital mutilation boils down to "My daddy was ignorant and he had it done to me as it had been done to him, so I'm gonna have it done to my son, too." As to women saying they like men better if part has been cut off, fu

thanks stalin

I’m Rick

I see you watch darkmatter2525 too. man with good taste.

We already know how that ends.

666 likes 😈

D D If you know that your cards are worse than those of the other person you still cant win

Bl4ck St0rm Exactly. so why would he keep accepting the raise?

D D I dunno... Because hes dumb af?

Its because they were playing Texas holdem and Texas hadnt been discovered yet

Yahweh is clearly not omnipotent. Never was. To me, Yahweh seems like a lesser god that took credit for the creation of the world, but didn't actually create anything other than angels; and that's really no different than the god Pan (also a lesser god) creating the satyrs. The true creator of the world would be Mother Nature herself (or as the Wiccans call her: The Mother Goddess).

It would be abominable. Surely you agree?

"But I designed them to reabsorb their uterine lining for reuse, it's just biochemically wasteful to have them painfully bleed it out!" "I'll tell everyone that you love them so much they should hate themselves to compensate." "Ooh, I do love unfounded deference and groveling..."

LarlemMagic Oh no, did God gamble on this AGAIN?

Gabriel Philips man, all Im going to say is that i hope you find the truth. Living in fear of hell for the rest of your life is not worth it, because it’s not real. Angels aren’t real, either, no are they described that way in the Bible. Also, the earth is not flat. There is proof, you just need to seek it out.

Gabriel Philips and that’s all well and good friend. I’m glad you can see some of the plot holes. That being said, I can’t tell you what you (or anyone else) have seen, but the sheer fact that you can’t prove it beyond what you’ve seen doesn’t lend credence to it having actually happened. Grief is difficult and can make your brain go haywire. I know, as I’ve been there. Again, I cant tell you what you believe you saw, but There’s no reason for me to think it was anything but a hallucination. Same with anyone else whose claimed to have seen an angel. either that, or they’re lying.

@SedeDeConhecimentoCanal when you have sleep paralysis, you hallucinate, so It really is no proof of anything.

@SedeDeConhecimentoCanal Hallucination.

Unfortunately nonstamp won't care, he'll still treat every Christian like shit just for being a believer in something, character doesn't matter to this bias prick

Eye Of Saige why do you talk like this

He does not loose. Light always wins

@@Bojan12 new to the channel?

@@djt08031996 Nothing wide to see unfortunately just here to make some corrections