"Horses" - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Quality Time)
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4 жыл бұрынAs one of the only comedians to win the Kentucky Derby AND the Triple Crown , I'm proud to present these horse jokes. Click Subscribe & turn on notifications
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LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
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Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 2 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
@TitaniumTomcat 4 жыл бұрын
The mane reason I love his comedy is his ability to harness the humor in common things, saddle that with the perfect timing and the unbridled spontaneous audience interaction and you have a bit of standup perfection.
@dunroamingfarm1385 3 жыл бұрын
Nice wordplay
@Outtacontextouttatime 3 жыл бұрын
You are a wordsmith
@DarrenSemotiuk 3 жыл бұрын
Your comment is what all of us were hoping to find when we scrolled down. Naaayyyt disappointed.
@nodivisionjustunity4364 3 жыл бұрын
Wyatt Phillips I loved what you wrote! Your friend, Charlie horse.
@AdamTWallington 3 жыл бұрын
this deserves more likes.
@aliceanaya7800 4 жыл бұрын
At my grandma’s funeral last August, we all stayed in an AirBnB and watched this special! It lightened the mood so much, all of us were happy and laughing, despite the circumstances. We all live in different parts of the country and get to see each other very little and we had such a great time that night. Also, Grandma loved Jim so that’s a good win-win. We love you!
@bargealkarlot3864 3 жыл бұрын
Amelia
@maxmichaelhatling 3 жыл бұрын
You said Last August.... Hello August 2019... Sorry for not appreciating how awesome you actually were. Sincerely...August 2020
@pytheas1111 3 жыл бұрын
This has become a thing hasn't it. Every youtube video needs a comment utilizing a dead relative for likes. Great to know you watched stand-up so you didn't have to think about your deceased grandmother.
@zvipatent 3 жыл бұрын
@@pytheas1111 Neigh, comments are so assholes can criticize people trying to forget their pain for a while. Not you of course; some OTHER asshole.
@Loveinthemist11 4 жыл бұрын
As a horse owner, I was stoked to see 10 minutes of pure horse related jokes. Hahahaha. Golden!
@tonyaprim3047 4 жыл бұрын
I have a friend who's a horse person . Not a centaur, the other kind.
@CALIBA88 4 жыл бұрын
no need to say it. we can see it on the profile pic.
@cameronpowers4260 3 жыл бұрын
Same, yes
@dunroamingfarm1385 3 жыл бұрын
So ponies...
@alukuhito 3 жыл бұрын
People still say "Golden!"?
@outcast935 4 жыл бұрын
This never gets old. None of his stuff does really.
@tracyregan8121 4 жыл бұрын
I love Jim Gaffigan
@CynHicks 4 жыл бұрын
For real though. And what's really cool is he's intentionally family friendly but you don't even think about it unless someone mentions it. The first time someone pointed that out to me I almost argued and then it dawned on me. I was like, oh wow yeah HE IS! lol
@InflightSup 4 жыл бұрын
Ecoworker97 I never thought about it but you’re exactly right. None of his stuff ever gets old!
@Wizzard777 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a huge Jim Gaffigan fan. I'm retired from the Army, and everytime my PTSD gets triggered, I come here to laugh and relax. Thanks Jim!
@daRealB-Rex Жыл бұрын
thank you for your service.
@shannoninalaska 11 ай бұрын
Thank you for your service. Btw, I hope you don't live in my neighborhood after viewing your profile picture.
@mremptytheeclip9420 11 ай бұрын
PTSD is another way of saying sissy boy.
@Mobev1 10 ай бұрын
Low iq is more prone to ptsd. Research it and get over it. I fought Colombians in Colombia and survived and managed to draw a lot of blood and death in my fight and I didn’t miss a step.
@Wizzard777 10 ай бұрын
@@Mobev1 of course you did 😂😂😂
@momofthree7787 4 жыл бұрын
Jim could talk about a paper clip for ten minutes and it would be hilarious. It’s just who he is. 💙
@diane9247 4 жыл бұрын
Hey, I'd like to see that!
@DoomieGruntVentures 3 жыл бұрын
I can hear the annoyed audience member already. "How many paperclip jokes is this guy gonna do?"
@drexelking8792 3 жыл бұрын
You right
@jwa765 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@andrewmcnicoll4268 3 жыл бұрын
One of my favorite bits is him talking about bowling...he's probably the only comedian who can make numerous jokes about such a boring topic.
@cb7pwn 4 жыл бұрын
10 mins on Horses. And its clean. And its funny. This man is standup royalty.
@Elon_Trump 4 жыл бұрын
This is the only way to start your day. Laughing at clean jokes with Jim Gaffigan. Sincerely, thank you, Jim, you are a treasure.
@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you!
@lovesilk1 4 жыл бұрын
Super concurring on this. Two choices: Covid conspiracy hell on earth? Or Jim Gaffigan's Happy Place :)
@devodavis6747 4 жыл бұрын
@@jimgaffigan nice touch with the hefewiezen, man. Next level shit.
@kailab7756 4 жыл бұрын
The only way to do it 😉
@kenpepemeloney7805 4 жыл бұрын
@@jimgaffigan Don't mind me I've already nicknamed you " Jim Laffigan "
@revan0890 4 жыл бұрын
That dislike is from a horse who thought the glue joke was too edgy.
@onixjaded3530 4 жыл бұрын
I didn’t get that one. Could you please explain?
@scramblesthedeathdealer 4 жыл бұрын
@@onixjaded3530 It was an old saying when a horse was going to be put down along the lines of "he's going to the glue factory..." Just ripping off Wikipedia, here's a partial copy: Animal glue is an organic colloid of protein derivation used as an adhesive, sizing and coating, compo, and for colloidal applications in industry[1] which is derived primarily from collagenous material present in animal hide or from the extraction of collagen present in animal bones, primarily cattle.[2] TL/DR: they used to (and probably still do in some places) turn animal parts into glue.
@CoolAirVw 4 жыл бұрын
Funny thing is prior to the horse routine he did a few minutes of "murder jokes"(human murder). No one groaned for the murder jokes, the're ok with murder, but kill a horse for some glue and they groan.
@StevieRevbo 4 жыл бұрын
the horse wondering why it's carrying you when it saw you drive up in a honda civic!
@jjohnston94 4 жыл бұрын
@@onixjaded3530 They even call it "hide glue".
@HEDGE1011 4 жыл бұрын
7:55 “I can see on some of your faces that you would frankly prefer...if I did more horse jokes.” Nobody has better delivery than Jim!
@alansabin7487 2 жыл бұрын
please watch John Pinette, he has great delivery also , take care
@bettyannsmith5267 4 жыл бұрын
"Hey, you wanna ride a horse?" "What part?" 🤣🤣🤣
@Vallnerik 4 жыл бұрын
"Alimony B. Damned" is a great horse name.
@keithmarlowe5569 4 жыл бұрын
"Really is that what he's doing? Bacon jokes? Whether bacon, or camping, or horse racing; You make us laugh by pointing out the obvious and absurdity of it all. Blessing to you and your wife.
@mcclellanj424 2 жыл бұрын
"Pillow jokes, really, is that what he's doing? I didn't know he was going to be so EDGYYYY... I didn't come here to be SHOCKED into laughter..."
@AdrianaGonzalez-zq6tx 4 жыл бұрын
🐎 I'm commenting just so I can get a ❤ from Jim. ☺
@depalma13 8 ай бұрын
As a thoroughbred race horse owner, the “gamblers prom” is the best description of the Kentucky Derby ever! That is pure genius.
@jessstuart7495 4 жыл бұрын
Nothing "stirrups" the audience like a good horse joke.
@nomibynoother2786 4 жыл бұрын
Jess Stuart Hahaha
@selinam8805 2 жыл бұрын
« Oh no more horse jokes… now ponies. Totally different »😂😂 As a horse rider/trainer/used to be an instructor, this was hilarious!!
@iamsachinparmar 4 жыл бұрын
Thank You Mr. Gaffigan for Making Quarantine Less Stressful by Spreading Laugh and Joy. 👍
@timhertzog27 3 жыл бұрын
You're my "go to" comedian for when I'm dealing with my depression and having really bad days. Thank you so much for all that you do to keep us laughing! You've brought me laughter when all I feel like doing is crying.
@seifert79 2 жыл бұрын
Ditto
@HugABullKN 2 жыл бұрын
100% I've been suffering with deep anxiety and he takes my mind off it.
@suebrown3465 4 жыл бұрын
10:47 minutes of laughter....we all need it. Hey..who gave a “thumbs down”!
@star-iq5xm 4 жыл бұрын
One of the horses
@ascent8487 4 жыл бұрын
Those in the horse community who are tired of the exploitation. This man “Gaffigan,” has been profiting off the sweat of their brow for years.
@HamletTwin 4 жыл бұрын
Viagra's Revenge disliked this video.
@slartybartfarst55 4 жыл бұрын
A Glue Factory Owner
@carolyntalbot947 4 жыл бұрын
Seriously, who doesn't love Jim Gaffigan? 🤷♀️
@sallyrobertson7987 3 жыл бұрын
I love this man , he’s brilliant
@FOUNDEDEARTHBROTHERS 4 жыл бұрын
I rarely laugh until I cry and its usually when I'm listening to you or spending time with my dad. Thanks for the laughs.
@CloudslnMyCoffee 4 жыл бұрын
The best part is that horses are legit therapy animals. Dogs and horses.
@mwhitelaw8569 4 жыл бұрын
Got both Serious truth I could have the worst day And they both help me look forward to the next day
@TrillDistic 4 жыл бұрын
"What part???" 🤣🤣😂 Man Jim can take some of the most simple things and make them entertaining. A whole horse set🤣🤣🐎
@TheTrueVirus22 4 жыл бұрын
As a german i appreciated that he mentioned "Hefeweizen".
@jimgaffigan 4 жыл бұрын
Danka
@SisypheanSeas13 4 жыл бұрын
@@jimgaffigan bitte
@ProctorsGamble 4 жыл бұрын
Bitte schön Prost
@szqsk8 4 жыл бұрын
Virus 22 What does that mean? Greetings from Southern California 🌴
@ariahalladay9086 4 жыл бұрын
Verwirrtheit
@babewebster 4 жыл бұрын
I live in Central Kentucky and I've asked some of these same questions on a daily basis. THIS is the BEST!
@tyson31415 4 жыл бұрын
He could do an entire special on horses and bacon... oh and hot pockets. Can't forget those.
@dianecrumbley90 4 жыл бұрын
tyson31415 Hot Pockets! My husband thinks those are the best jokes. Jim Gaffigan is so funny!
@l7puma 4 жыл бұрын
Bippity, boppity, boop...bacon!
@MattieBennett 4 жыл бұрын
Plot twist: The bacon inside hot pockets is actually horse meat.
@ByGraceThruFaith8453 4 жыл бұрын
Jim Gaffigan can make anything funny, even if he does 75 jokes on one subject :) Love his comedy!
@roohamm2456 4 жыл бұрын
As a southerner I love to hear folks try to use a drawl in their routines... 😏💚
@dandelionfever 4 жыл бұрын
"I want to know your annoyance pleases me" - I love it...
@pablopaul8539 4 жыл бұрын
This was really good. I love how he messes with the audience and critizizes his own jokes. Meta af. Lol.
@m.rasheed1214 2 жыл бұрын
Re: Glue Joke - "Oh, that was too edgy?" The edgiest part was making fun of the horse owner. Top notch, sir!
@icefisher9072 4 жыл бұрын
All the thumbs down are from people riding their horses trying to hit the like button.
@ashfordartcornwall3790 3 жыл бұрын
😄😁😆
@SD-cz8og 4 жыл бұрын
Jim has impeccable timing, no one makes me laugh as much as he does. ❤
@bryantthoresen6772 2 жыл бұрын
"Heighhhhhh......take it easy on the Glue jokes!!" Classic.
@carolyntalbot947 4 жыл бұрын
One the comedy GOATs has great *bits* about *horses.*
@Spider_7_7 3 жыл бұрын
“What the hell are you doing with my shoes?” 🐴😂
@gracegiven4525 3 жыл бұрын
Jim, I get unbridled pleasure from your comedy. You are a National Treasure. 😘🐎. You have definitely not pasture limit on horse jokes with this fan.
@jpwjr1199 4 жыл бұрын
This dude is a master - just really good. You can tell he works his ass off crafting his performance, and his experience has made him in tune with his audiences, which I would imagine would be hard to do when they get to be so big. I gotta give it up.
@uzbeccastan86 2 жыл бұрын
Being born and raised in, "The Horse Capital of the World," and watching the Derby every year, I have been Waiting for someone to make jokes about horses and how they are treated!!!! This is absolutely hilarious!!! 😂 Thank you so very much!!! 🙏🏻 Did you know that there is an equine airplane to fly horses around, like Triple Crown winners, to stud in other countries? Horse owners all over the world pay to have horses flown to them to stud!!! The little ones are all born around January (because every horse is given January as their birth month, even if they're born later in the year.) You can see them emerge for the first time with their mothers in the Winter and Spring. It's a very pretty drive, observing horse farms with those wooden fences, along the rolling hills. Thank you, again!! I have enjoyed your comedy, from as far back as That 70's Show!! ✌🏻
@tinafuller5022 4 жыл бұрын
I am going riding in about 3 hours, but right now I am dying laughing🤣🤣🤣
@djairalert422 2 жыл бұрын
Jim your style of comedy is phenomenal, that inside voice never gets old! 🤣
@gunnarredford8261 3 жыл бұрын
This man’s legacy will never die. That’s a fact.
@Maggie-wj4rw 4 жыл бұрын
My parents are currently staring at me because i'm laughing for no reason when i'm supposed to be doing e-learning.
@Maggie-wj4rw 4 жыл бұрын
oops
@scramblesthedeathdealer 4 жыл бұрын
I'm sure you learned something from Professor Gaffigan.
@frankm8533 4 жыл бұрын
My roommate and I have tears in our eyes over the horseshoe bit! Haha
@zoperxplex 2 жыл бұрын
The only man in the entire universe who can maintain an audience riveted on equine humor for ten minutes.
@vineetdodd9915 7 ай бұрын
Mr. Universe
@MDM-bm8lc 2 жыл бұрын
Dislikes were from people that bet on the “Hot Pockets” horse.
@dunningkruger3774 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks Jim. I went straight to youtube to watch horses mate. Then my Mother in Law walked in.
@jefffenton5932 4 жыл бұрын
Never enough horse jokes, Jim! Keep ‘em comin’!
@hawksfan8870 2 жыл бұрын
The best, funniest and most relatable comedian I’ve ever watched! Jim Gaffigan, you are so cool man!
@E.n.swan90 3 жыл бұрын
"Roughly 10 minutes of horse jokes"... exactly at the 10 minute mark.
@lunaowl5062 3 жыл бұрын
sigh, I listen to his jokes before going to bed. It makes me laugh so hard XD
@tylerhigson1960 4 жыл бұрын
I LOVE THIS BIT FROM QUALITY TIME! I think i was the only one who didn't get annoyed by the horse jokes! :p
@Notcreative36 4 жыл бұрын
me too
@scramblesthedeathdealer 4 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed them as well. I've heard this bit before, this ain't my first rodeo!
@melissacasey9724 3 жыл бұрын
I needed this this morning! No matter how many times I see your clips...it’s still hysterical! Thank you!
@drexelking8792 3 жыл бұрын
This guy can make any topic funny.
@jonshimogawa8198 2 жыл бұрын
the best stand up comedian,EVER!!!
@TheMartinhenry111 4 жыл бұрын
Comic genius and he does it without being vulgar. I'm still laughing and the video is over.
@mikepratt6481 4 жыл бұрын
One of the most consistently hilarious comedians working today! Love this!
@jackies56tbird 2 жыл бұрын
I have to admit, I have never heard of horse jokes for TEN PHUCKING MINUTES................but. Keep going Jim.
@margaretames6522 2 жыл бұрын
Just when I think I’ve heard every Jim Gaffigan routine, I discover another one I love! This one is excellent! 🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴
@SoCalBoy3607 4 жыл бұрын
Only comedian I've seen live twice, every time makes me die laughing. Thanks for the video, it was very much needed!
@YouGotsTheRabies 4 жыл бұрын
"You know it's just a matter of time before someone brings a horse on a plane." Well, my sister and I saw someone trying to ride their horse into a TSC store. The horse wouldn't go in the sliding doors. There were many retries. I told my sister it was time for us to get out of here, so we left before things got ugly.
@leemiracle6840 3 жыл бұрын
And someone has indeed taken a "Therapy horse" on a plane.
@dorisgarcia6683 4 жыл бұрын
More horse jokes, more YOU - You’re my top comedian!!! ♥️🐎♥️
@samf8887 3 жыл бұрын
He's truly the best. What a gift.
@donnadimuro9427 3 жыл бұрын
Omg he is one of few comics who brings me to tears Everytime. I'm amazed how he just doesn't miss a beat. never at a loss. So funny
@aprilleerose 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, I never realized how stressful it is to be a horse!
@MrMonty08 3 жыл бұрын
Can't get enough of this guy. It doesn't matter what he jokes about, he is just hilarious. Thank you Jim !!
4 жыл бұрын
LOL... This is why I love Jim Gaffigan. Only comedian I know who can do 10 minutes of horse jokes, and every one kills.
@EricdosSantosAKAQ 4 жыл бұрын
Jim Gaffigan was sorely missed in Iceland. Damned viral pandemic!
@rademfam6856 4 жыл бұрын
I love it when he says how many of these jokes does this guy have, never gets old. And then he tells more bahaha
@tonyaprim3047 4 жыл бұрын
A lot more! I saw this live. This was my favorite part of the show.
@lemongavine 4 жыл бұрын
He did that with bacon and Hot Pockets.
@OntarioAndrews415 Жыл бұрын
This was hilarious. :) And he hit the horse jokes right on the head. In other words; he nailed it. :) To me us humans do have a strange way of showing love and appreciation for horses.
@ct0760 3 жыл бұрын
My drink came out my nose at the Viagras revenge bit 🤣🤣 omg Jim you are the cat's pajamas!
@demguiz944 4 жыл бұрын
I love Jim Gaffigan. He's hilariously funny without using the F word every 3 seconds.
@girlcheck 3 жыл бұрын
I've never laughed so much in 10 minutes in my life! 🤣🤣🤣
@JesseWilloughby 3 жыл бұрын
If you can do 10 minutes of horse jokes you deserve the Triple Crown 💯
@zvipatent 3 жыл бұрын
My daughter received a horse as a gift. I tolk he to never look at the horse in the mouth. You are the best Jim - neigh.
@johansigg3869 4 жыл бұрын
I appreciate you so much, Jim. You're one of maybe 3 excellent comedians I can show to my family. You do good work, thank you.
@melllvar4262 4 жыл бұрын
He should have started talking about unicorns 🦄 at the end...
@kayhaven4710 4 жыл бұрын
Or Pegasus or Alicorns.
@globetrekker86 3 жыл бұрын
“No more horse jokes, I promise. Anyway, ponies...” 🤣 What a fantastic segue, Jim
@RooteyO 3 ай бұрын
My absolute favorite Gaffigan sequence. Thanks for posting it!!!
@dorathocker4575 4 жыл бұрын
One of the few comics I watch, & rewatch, & rewatch, &....
@klindicious 4 жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard I wheezed and cried so hard! I LOVE THIS VIDEO!
@blackinkcashguitars908 3 жыл бұрын
You are the single best Comedian I have ever heard....
@erickstjames 2 жыл бұрын
Jim Gaffigan is the trusty steed of comedy…I love his high, hoarse impersonations…
@AmitDebnath09 4 жыл бұрын
Definition of beating a dead horse
@imperialguard28 3 жыл бұрын
In Soviet Russia, dead horse beats you!
@diggerdog9205 4 жыл бұрын
I'm a horse and I approve this message
@RTS5010 4 жыл бұрын
Jim Gaffigan is such a good mixture of humour and genius insight! I have two kids who suffer from anxiety and sleep troubles. Sometimes all I have to say to them is I will put on one of Jim Gaffigan's specials on audio and you can listen as you fall asleep. Takes away all their night time up and down issues! So grateful!
@Richey24 4 жыл бұрын
I think you could tell Jim was on top of his game here. Totally comfortable and fun to watch as always! Thank you Jim!
@judyboyle9232 4 жыл бұрын
I'm an avid equestrian, and I found Jim quite funny!
@dennisichikawa8055 4 жыл бұрын
Jim told so many of these jokes that his voice went horse.
@bojaiden5175 4 жыл бұрын
From Seasons, to horses, shopping at Victoria Secret, McDonalds, Body wash etc. Jim's ability to take a mundane subject and hammer out of it almost all the issues that define our common humanity is pure genius.
@38LiveBait 3 жыл бұрын
My favorite all time skit... Thanks, Jim.
@mlamarana 4 жыл бұрын
Well we have a horse loose in our hospital at the moment
@priscillachapman9145 4 жыл бұрын
mlamarana - John Malany 😂😂
@gertfroebe3175 3 жыл бұрын
Horsepital
@erikbudrow1255 3 жыл бұрын
This was amazing. And YET... The thing that made me laugh the hardest... "If you don't subscribe...all of the animals...will die." There is no life left in me. Thanks Jim.
@rebeccajernigan5759 3 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best comedians ever
@____l_u_l_u____8639 4 жыл бұрын
Much needed laugh. Thank you Jim
@atchjs 4 жыл бұрын
Jim is like another brother.
@jrx818 4 жыл бұрын
Horse:"what the hell u duin with my shoe?!" Me: Spits out drink 😂😂
@jpeterman6178 4 жыл бұрын
Jim Gaffigan was not one I'd listen to when I was younger. Now that I enjoy his stand up. I can only accept the fact I missed out on the begining of a great act. Thank you Mr. Gaffigan for sharing your talent with us.
@benisaten 2 жыл бұрын
Atta boy Jim. Works the crowd so well. So good. 👌
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