Funny enough I perform on stage fine but I can't talk to people. Might be because a performance is planned while talking to people is so random and unpredictable.

@@z0mbiebanana9891 I agree! Except improv for me..which is where I can relate to what @Lynby said

@@z0mbiebanana9891 Some of the greatest entertainers that have ever lived are/were shy and have/had social anxiety. That's why they gravitate towards the arts, because they find it easier to communicate through dance, music, acting etc.

Very true! Often when I've hung with a new group of people I worry I "took too much space" (easily done with Swedish people) and really I would want to have like a peer review after - "how did you perceive me when I did this and that? Did I come off abrasive or weird? Am I making this more fun for you or am I hijacking the conversations?" And then I think no, be confident in who you are! ... But then again I don't want to hinder self development...etc 😅 And feeling insecure feels almost like something dirty.

So true...

Lol, me too! I always give myself treats

Yes! Or i day dream to being at home in my head 😂😂😂😂😂😂

KZfaq the savior 😂😂😂😂

@@Thomas-ui2bd thanks I’ll check it out. Although, I find it hard to take advice from someone who doesn’t suffer from it.

I just make up a reason to bail and go home at the earliest and least suspicious convenience lol.

His bad grammar gives me anxiety.

guess, brand's .. not spurgeon's?

I love that saying.

I love that.

@PBEs Yeah, I cant see one at all. lol

me too

My father's love was given only if and when I excelled. Being 2nd wasn't enough. I now struggle to socialise and I imagine people judge me like my father did. Parents have a lot to answer for.

I understand this. I was a very talkative child. I was talkative in school and starting getting bad report card for being talkative, never bad grades. I got in trouble and yelled at. Same thing at home, getting told to shut up all the time. I stopped talking. In my late 20s now and talking to people is almost debilitating

Same.

this is so me

But you don't want to go too far, because thinking of and saying funny things makes in the interaction enjoyable, it makes others laugh and sharing laughter is fun. If someone just lived in an unaffected zen state all the time I would find them boring and frankly, irritating.

@@charlieparkeris Haha - yes, laughter is equally important! Neurobiologist Robert R. Provine writes in Laughter (2000) that “[t]he contagious laugh response” involves “the most direct communication possible between people-brain to brain”; it is “a compelling display” of our innate sociability, proof that Homo sapiens are indeed “the social mammal” (129). I didn't say anything funny here - next time!

@@charlieparkeris I see why you'd say boring, but irritating? Could you briefly elaborate on that please?

@@RegularGuyism Well I would see it as phony, like with 'gurus', and I've always wanted to shake Eckhart Tolle.

Great point!

Bradley Brannings you had us at the first half I’m not gonna lie

@@riotdeath3902 lmaooo really

I used to be a shy kid and now I have social anxiety. I used to think I am introverted but turns out I am actually extroverted an like people

oh..

The egoic mind thinks it is better to be in bad company than to be alone, And invents slogans like 'Birds of a feather flock together' which can lead a person into all sorts of madness. If a person is happy on their own, comfortable in their own skin, they enjoy company, but they are not addicted to it.

Simon Nowiz , Good comment. I think many of us cancel the self in order to momentarily feel good about ourselves. And what we define as conforming is in fact escaping our reality. We avoid learning about ourselves, because we believe that we are not worth it. Instead we direct our energy to craft what the others should think about us. If only we care about our being the way we care about the others.

Interesting insight Houria. It is a journey. Maybe that is what a whole life time is for? To learn about ourselves? Over the course of time? It feels amazing to watch my egoic mind at work during meditation, it feels like some sort of adolescent boy that needs attention constantly. I used to simply dismiss it in the past, but now i can see that the egoic mind is capable of splitting off into various parts, so that one part of the egoic mind can bully the other to gain control. I am learning how to integrate the deeper self, my presence, which feels like some sort of parent, with the child like egoic mind. I guess this will be a ongoing process, as different layers are revealed?

@@CitrusSimon Well said and thanks for sharing how that "feels" to you. I can relate and agree.

Agreed 👍🤣

😂

If at first you don't succeed, put it off until tomorrow.

Andy M 😂😂😂 so funny

🤣😂🤣😂

Michael Gorman Or … if at first you don’t succeed, keep on sucking till u do 😉

In what way is he underrated? xD

What do you think about when meditating

@@Alan18012 of nothing

♥️🙏

Social "anxiety" (shyness) only ruin your life because YOU let it do so.

It doesn’t matter anymore. Free yourself from results and just be

Same. Young adult here trying to navigate in this big world.

It is great that you have recognized and identified the problem that is ruining your life. Now you need to take action and get help to resolve it.

Good point

Possibly, but I'm not sure if it's really such a new/modern thing. I think people are so aware of "social anxiety" these days that they use it as an excuse to avoid or bail out of situations where they're not completely comfortable. Unfortunately life has never been 100% comfortable all the time and never will be. Being uncomfortable sometimes is part of life and it makes you appreciate comfort and solitude.

no. everyone can get anxious in social situations but not everyone has social anxiety disorder. SAD literally ruins people's lives.

When my kids have first day of school jitters, I tell them to be on the lookout for kids who are alone, who seem like they could use a friend to help them get integrated into a group, etc. It gives them a mission/focus outside their own nerves. Now I should do as I say. My issue with social anxiety is with people I kind of know but aren't super close to- those are the people that I get nervous around.

i was enlightened by this

Yes I totally agree. I’ve been flourishing being at home. I still get my occasional panic attacks but I’m improving 🌟❣️

Expect that lockdown has caused a rise in suicides and is creating a deeper divide among people

@@HenryoShelton not to mention fast food and retail workers are going through extra hell. not to mention ICU workers!!

But us introverts were stuck home all day, & families never left. On top of each other. No alone time. (very grateful to not be lonely)

Just try listening more. I also use to do the same. We can try to forgive ourselves, accept ourselves, be kind to ourselves and see what energy that brings to us and others

same here... im sad though that people dont talk about exactly that feeling (which alot people have) more in a social encounter, rather than exchanging some external nonsense..

This is what it feels like to be an "awoke" human being. Be sure that you are not alone. We are the collective. There are many of us. Love light and rainbows.x

Same I feel like the "introversion" I've grown up with having was really a mask for me to hide and never really be my authentic self. I would watch other people's conversation like a TV screen, too anxious to play a part, the moment of being able to play my, equally valuable part slipping every second I spent trapped in my ego. When I did get this connection with people, the destruction of the ego and this anxiousness, it was like I could free myself from this shell and enter another consciousness. I (the free I) and another person were like two bodiless entities just having an experience of the eccentricities and mundaneness of life and humour and suffering. We didn't have to sit close to each other or touch physically, in our connection of energy and interaction, we were intimate. It was like touching and being as close to someone as possible without physically touching. I feel like this is real, authentic conversation, a free flow of energy and destruction of the participants egos.

Its the "I AM" conciousness. Please...if you know that you ARE NOT living as your AUTHENTIC self,there has NEVER been a better time to show who YOU REALLY ARE!!! There is NOTHING to Fear,only fear itself, and as fear is just another emotion that the EGO PIRATE will capture and use to Keep you from realisation of your true potential. "if every morning you wake up, and all you can think about is being a writer,then you were born to write". FOLLOW YOUR HEART NOW AND WATCH HOW PEOPLE BENEFIT FROM YOU STEPPING OUT OF THE SHADOWS (quite litetally once you do the work on yourself). YOU WERE BORN TO BE AND LIVE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE. The world is in need of YOUR ABILTITIES. If you resonate with this do it today. Be who you really want to be,TODAY. Just start to practice and then it becomes easier. EXAMPLE: if you are someone who is not good at saying "no", and always Come away from a situation feeling like you should have said it...then why not try today. And see how much better you feel when you LIVE YOUR AUTHENTIC TRUTH. Trust me, its addictive and you are going to love the fact that the pressure of trying to be someone you are not begins to full away. I love you all. Love light and rainbows.x 🌈 Namaste 💖

Stacey Egerton Hell yes good words of encouragement

This is really profound and I agree! I wish I knew more people whose views on life (their reality) matched with mine. It wouldn't be such a chore to socialize! Oh, to be understood!

Anthony, I’m sorry to hear that. If you don’t mind me asking.....do you feel like social anxiety holds you back from doing things in life?

Single child with a single parent, I hate that my anxiety controls my life, I don't think any self help videos like this one will ever come close to getting rid of my problems.

Your not bad yourself.

🙌💯

I bet he goes home and thinks ooh that handshake was so awkies

This is paradox but some socialy anxious people can be very confident on the stage. You can see on Ted talks

@@erdi4788 True. I have a friend who is a stage actor. Offstage is friendly and kind but also extremely shy and lacking in confidence. It often happens with performers.

Robin Williams was an extreme introvert.

keep at it, son

Awww, you got this. 💙

Great tips. Well done. Do you meditate also?

@@wonderwoman5528 I did! I never got into it regularly but sometimes it's just nice to lay back at stare whilst not letting anything in. It seems to help

​@@lowerthetone I’m a regular meditator and I found it helps so much with anxiety. It helps enormously :)

I think if you’re feeling disconnected amongst people, just that realization of feeling disconnected amongst people, that contrast, really exacerbates the feeling. Perhaps you have to find different people to connect to, or find a few people to connect with to fill that void so when you’re amongst many it doesn’t seem so wrong that there isn’t a connection.

You are definitely not a wierdo its a phase it will be gone just work hard and try and enjoy life and all its challenges fake it till u make it💯

Most important thing to accept is that most people are arseholes but not be afraid of that because if you're afraid of that you're actually secretly an arsehole yourself. The enlightened state in terms of socialising is to realise that we're all just arseholes expressing ourselves through our front arsehole.

Russel brand doesn’t really have social anxiety though. He’s simply aware of his insecurities. People with anxiety disorders usually have something wrong with them where their fight or flight response is permanently switched on, making communication with others near impossible.

@@jainee4507 I'm thinking what you're describing is a pretty severe case. I don't think it's wrong to say that people who feel very uneasy in social situations have a certain level of social anxiety.

@@mbrights3158 they might may socially anxious but that doesn't mean they have social anxiety DISORDER

Me too

Do you believe this dislike stems from generalized misanthropy?

No, a lot of people just suck

@@GaryTurbo fair enough. I've found over the past 6 months or so I've begun disliking humanity as a whole, though I do like many individuals.

@Christopher Barr Those are actually pretty decent odds

Because therapy is a strange relationship. They expect their patient to open up but the therapist doesn’t open up themselves, luckily my current therapist does talk about their personal life. A lot of development comes from both parties opening up. Also, no other relationship entails someone paying to talk about their problems so someone else can listen, except maybe in the case of a prostitute and their client or the breadwinner in a relationship and their less financially successful spouse. :)(Marriage) my therapist has a lot of useful information for me but I try to remain aware of the downsides of therapy so I don’t fall victim to them.

@@hwago123 I think most therapists refrain from opening up about their private lives because their aim is to listen to the person they’re trying to help and give the necessary guidance or whatever. Plus, then opening up about their experiences is a dangerous gateway to becoming friends with them which is not allowed