How Long Should You Date Before Getting Engaged | Paul Friedman

  Рет қаралды 13,905

The Marriage Foundation

The Marriage Foundation

3 жыл бұрын

How long should I date before I get married?
The reason why you're not sure is because there's so little good information in society, isn't it true? Everything comes to us through magazines and through gossip but where's the professional help? Let's take a look at marriage objectively. People get married for two reasons
primarily to let's say high-level reasons. The first is that they want to be happy, isn't it true? Isn't that why you want to get married? Now there are sub reasons, you want to have children. You want to be with your companion. You want to fit into society in that realm of married people.
You want to be happier. Those things bring you happiness but then there's a second reason that's also extremely important and that is that you want to experience marital love, unconditional love. Call it what you will but it's that love where you're safe and secure. You swim in this joyful ocean of love and it is wonderful.
Those are your two primary reasons for getting married then there are all the sub reasons. Well, you can't just get married. First, you have to be engaged. Well, you don't just get engaged. First
you have to date and so that brings us to the question, how long should you date before you consider engagement? Because these are steps that you're consciously taking to lead you to these two wonderful things, a lifetime of happiness and a lifetime of love. We've got to ask the question.
Who are you going to be with?
Who's going to help you have these two things?
This becomes a garden of Eden but you have to be with the right person. Ah, the right person,
how do you know who's the right person? And this is where the answer to this question lies. How long does it take to get to know somebody well enough before you're sure because you don't want to marry someone who's for instance addicted to substances whose abusing drugs
or alcohol, right? So you want a list of things that you know you don't want them to have. You don't want them to have anger problems, out of control, or emotional instability. You might be saying, "Well, everyone is somewhat emotionally unstable." Sure, so what you do is you start
putting together a list for yourself of things that are acceptable, things that are desirable, and things that are not desirable. And naturally, because we need to be self-protective, you're going to be really on the lookout for the things that are not desirable and you don't want to be dating somebody for a long time if they have these undesirable qualities so it brings up another important topic.
When do I start having sex?
And this is really tricky because if you start too soon if you start before you have vetted them it's going to be very difficult to break it off. And then you might say, "But everybody is having pre-marital sex," but you're not going to marry just anybody. You want your marriage to last a lifetime. Now there's a lot of good topics covered by sticking with this channel, subscribing but it's even better still to go to Premarital Academy and start digging in. We've made it intentionally very inexpensive for you so that you can really learn these things and you don't become a negative statistic. Because remember there are two things that you have the right to insist upon
when you do get married.
Do you remember what they are?
Number one is happiness, ever-increasing happiness which means every day you're happier
than the day before. The second thing is marital love unconditional love experiencing ever-expanding love. There's no limit to how love can grow. It is the infinite commodity is love. There's not just so much love and you can't have more. It keeps growing every day of your life when you know how. I hope this has helped you. We're here to help you so take advantage of us because all of our studies are based on principles, not opinion, not even statistics but principles, universal principles that apply and we've been doing this a long time so we know that it works.
#marriagerelationship #marriagetips #premarital #marriagecommitment #beforemarriage #marriageexpectation

Пікірлер: 12
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын
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@pearlrodrigues372
@pearlrodrigues372 Жыл бұрын
Great video, thank you for sharing 🙏
@kellydevreese3944
@kellydevreese3944 13 күн бұрын
My recommendation is to live together for a year first. If you are happy together still after that then you are ready.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 13 күн бұрын
That will not work (we have lots of people using our courses who lived together for years before marriage). But it sounds like a "practical" idea.
@amyj.4992
@amyj.4992 Жыл бұрын
I want to experience, marital love
@shannadf3781
@shannadf3781 11 ай бұрын
Me too
@Sevoflurane2014
@Sevoflurane2014 2 ай бұрын
Would like your opinion... My ex jumped into a rebound relationship the same week we broke up after a 4 year relationship. She dated the guy 4 months and they are already engaged witn a wedding date set for 3 months later. Whats your thoughts on this. This man she is marrying is 32 and still lives witb his parents with a rocky past and has never lived on his own. 😂
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 ай бұрын
My opinion? Work only on yourself and make your life joy-filled 🙏
@Sevoflurane2014
@Sevoflurane2014 2 ай бұрын
@@TheMarriageFoundation that's pretty hard to do watching the girl you thought you were gonna marry her engaged and married in 7 months after your break up. When 2 times she contacted me. And told me she missed and loved me. But stayed with her rebound.
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 2 ай бұрын
My suggestion is based on a an accumulation of many years of experience. It is the best I have.
@Chiefton
@Chiefton 3 ай бұрын
How long though? Is 6 months too soon? I feel I'm ready
@TheMarriageFoundation
@TheMarriageFoundation 3 ай бұрын
If you think you are ready, that you found your soulmate, then give it at least another 10 months. You are signing up for life and need to really know the one you will be with till death do you part. 6 months is nothing!
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