True!!! Many narcissists die alone!!

God doesn't pay debts with money is the old saying. Seems true with some narcissistic people.

God bless you woman. God is and always will be with you.

I have stage 4 cancer, in remission, and my husband initially took good care of me, with the help of others. Not long after I was released from the hospital and came home, everyday he would continue to go to the bar, as long as someone was with me! I took “in sickness and in health seriously” apparently he skipped that part. He was good to me right up until he found his new “supply” . That apparently gave him the green light to have an affair for almost two years. I kicked him out after physical abuse. What a sick bastard. He will die alone.

Isn’t it amazing how they think? You and I have both been sick and thrown to the side! May they live a life of misery.

@@living2day617 If you had a phone available to you, you could have called an ambulance to take you to the ER. I am surprised that you did not succumb to your illness and your own self-neglect. No matter how sick you are, help is just a phone call away.

I've experienced this. They get put out by the sound of you puking your guts out. It seems way too inhumane for me to understand.

After just vomiting and then coming out of the bathroom door to go back to bed feeling and looking dreadful I happened to look over to my narc to realise he was taking a photo of me …. Now that is really creepy …. I was too ill to complain … went back to my Covid bed. Thinking about that incident really creeps me out … Now that is sick!! A normal human being would not consider doing something like that to his wife 🥲

I can actually back this up. I was sick for the majority of the week 2 weeks ago and they did not tell me that they made food. They instead chose to only feed my mentally ill sister. When I walked out there at the end of the day starving, I saw dishes and became very livid. They could've at the very least told me even if it meant that I had to get it myself.

@@living2day617 I AM SO SORRY. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I AM RELATING TO THE NONCARING WAY YOU WERE TREATED. YOU DESERVE BETTER AND SO DO I. GOD BLESS.

Yes, absolutely!!!

I used to think it was just because men were terrible caretakers.

it depends if they still want something from you you had not yet given them. if they do, they´ll put in the effort, but not for you.

​@@jeans.5252 a lot of men are nurses/emts/paramedics, etc. My husband was a paramedic. Then his first wife got sick and had severe MS for 20 of their 23yr marriage. He took good care of her, but it was tragic. I plan to take care of him since he's older, but he's in great shape so far, better than me. 😅

So true. Also when you are upset about something that has nothing to do with them, he has to pick a fight.

🧡🧡🧡 sounds like you raised lovely children though! Good job, mama! Hope you stay well and free from him.💗💗💗

Mantrum is a great new word! I will definitely use that one.

​@@julieoelker1865Great! Can we say "Womantrum", too?

@@flumpaustin1994sure why not if a woman throws one but in her case it was a man

Mantrums 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My ex always told me it was all in my head. He's dead now, reaping what he's sown

It's a nightmare.

When I was having trouble with low blood sugar & panic attacks, my husband told me it was all in my head. But after our divorce & he had a woman move in with him, he was very concerned about HER low blood sugar!!!! He never told her it was all in HER head!!!!

​@judycrisenbery2982 He's probably doing the same to her, because a leopard cannot change it's spots. She is not going to confide in you tho because you're the ex, but I'm sure their honeymoon ended about a week after he married her.

Absolutely

So glad you got out of the relationship!

@@preciousgem9343 thanks

Good for you !!!!!!

Excellent.

I'm sorry gf I ubered home after a cosmetic surgery he couldn't take off work I understood I arranged for a medical driver and then spent next few days recovering ALONE BF disapeared bc I told him to go home night before surgery bc he was acting rude towards me and I set a boundary. Think he didn't want me making myself look good and was Envious. He decided to Ice me After and I saw REAL HIM. and now I was FREE .🎉🎉🎉🎉😅 broke up w him and did not let him back in my life.💃

His mother was also a narcissist, that's where your ex-hsband got it from.

Wow. Thats shocking.

I can totally relate.

I'm glad your son is well. ❤❤❤

@@maria12501 I too can relate

So sorry you experienced that!

Moi aussi.

My husband left me also when I started having chronic pain. I haven’t dated in 11 years. Too afraid to meet another toxic one.😊

Never underestimate the human capacity for cruelty.

My husband uses those exact words all the time. I'm always defective & useless. Even when I'm on my period he calls me broken because I'm of no use to him. Then he gets mad when I say we're just bang buddies. But that's exactly how he treats me!

Yes you are right they are💔

I’m so sorry.. my sister is the same 😢

Yea and they get jealous of you receiving any type of attention

Maybe your lucky because she didn't want to take care of you..

for sure! @@teresadvorak6145

Good for you Grrrrrrl!!! BRAVO 👏 👏👏👏👏🙏💐🙏Enjoy your freedom & the new year.

I experienced same with my father, he was attacking me and as well I face PTSD. Those people abuse you if you are depending on them. Glad that you took way out of it. I wish you peace and healing from this! If I can give you tip...so take some animal easy for care or service dog. It helped me with PTSD ane some health issues. My dog remove clothes etc. It made me more secure and happy. Maybe it can help you too.

Thank you my friend. I wish you peace and healing as well @@raniyuna2930 🙏❣

🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾

GLAD YOU GOT OUT OF THIS. GOD BLESS YOU. I AM RELATING WITH THE AUTOIMMUNE SITUATION DUE TO CROHN'S DISEASE. HE COULD CARE LESS. STARTED PURSUING NASTY THINGS IN THE STREET. WITH HIS NASTY MOTHER'S HELP. SHE IS IN THE NURSING HOME NOW. HE WILL HAVE NOTHING WHEN THE OLD MISSERABLE THING DIES. SORRY, I FEEL SO MAD AT HOW HE TREATS ME AND HOW FAKE HE IS TO THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW HIS SICKO WAYS! I AM TOO SICK TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE BUT HE KNOWS I KNOW ABOUT HIS WAYS. OF COURSE, HE LIES EVEN WHEN CAUGHT! HE GASLIGHTED THE HELL OUT OF HIS DEAD WIFE. GOT THE FAMILY HATING HER FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN HIS BULLCRAP LIES! I WILL NOT BEND DOWN TO HIS LEVEL! HE LOVES GETTING ME MAD-ESPECIALLY WHEN SICK!

I am so sorry that you had to deal with that.. :( That is so disgusting!!! I hope you are now happy and living an amazing life!!!

Downright evil 😡

I don’t have the words. I’m sorry.

I'm sorry this happened to you. They are evil people.

So sad

Did he have to wake up for work? Ma’am, respectfully; coughing and snoring aren’t the easiest sounds to sleep with. Especially coughing; since it’s sudden, loud, forceful and there’s nothing rhythmic to the sound. Nobody is sleeping with coughing . It may have possibly been more polite for u to switch rooms , I dunno. 🤷‍♀️

He could have switched rooms just as easy as her.

@@libralillyknits or the husband could have switched rooms a let the sick wife stay in the bed most comforting. At least that is what I would want, my own bed.

Mine did that too. Told me to go to ER. Dr said I was hypochondriac as I coughed up palm sized green/yellow stuff

​@@libralillyknitshowever mam they don't want to leave when they are coughing and I have to get up

My current narc husband (for the time being) always has some "issue" that pops up when I am planning something. It's like clockwork. I have a bet with myself what it will be next.

Lol.....when I was pregnant and sick, he had my same symptoms. Truth.

My mother does this as does my partner. I can never be sick.

Oh tell me about it!!!

When pregnant I needed back surgery but couldn’t get it since I was pregnant. His back suddenly went out, too. When I got home, he went to the hospital & got morphine (I couldn’t have any since I was pregnant which he rubbed in) & wouldn’t stop bragging about flirting with all the nurses. I needed back surgery, he didn’t. But he got all the attention; he made me go home & decorate his Christmas tree w/a walker. I had back surgery Dec. 23rd. He demanded it since he needed his slave back in full operation.

So sorry. Hugs to you 🌹

I'm so sorry you have to feel that type of love. Draw near to Christ, he loves you and wants you.❤

I feel this. This is one of the many reasons I am no-contact with my mother. It’s brutal.

Omg! So sorry you have or had cancer but we all know it was not cats! Why are people like that! I’ve been through it it’s awful!

I got comments like that from family when I had breast cancer I was expecting something like " don't worry. We'll pick up the kids from school" or "can I drive you to an appointment". My neighbors helped me instead.

My God relieve your pain and heal you and your spirit.

It’s when divorce is not such a curse!

I'm too Catholic to get a divorce. My Mom was too, and died of cancer at 78. My narcissist dad is 91 now, and has found another idiot to wipe his lazy a*s.

When my ex narc died I lost 70 pounds, my health drastically improved and I looked years younger.

My sister decided to make it seem she was help when I had several strokes but now I am doing great she can't control my everyday decisions

Kevin these people are virtue signaling with gaslighting the sick individual. They are cowards they mess with you when they really see you are sick.

Yes you got that baggage off your back that’s why 😂 does it feel nice? That’s a lot of weight to carry

I have aged 2 years in a few months. They'll eventually kill their victim.

It’s not that they don’t understand; it’s that they don’t care.

They are actually so sick in their minds, they will interpret kindness for weakness ... 😅

It gives them joy when we suffer.

This is my thoughts on this also ; I noticed my narcs family would always say he don’t deal with funerals well you know he’s gonna duck off bc he doesn’t like to deal with things like…….. well I don’t want to hurt nobody’s feelings but he is a grown ass man and if his children can go up to the coffin at the wake of his mother alone 13 and 15 yrs old he can also !! He would be strong and standing with his kids and family but instead he’s acting like he can’t go into the viewing and I had to say it’s not bc he can’t cope it’s bc he doesn’t have the normal reaction to death and loss and he knows people will be observing his behaviors !! Not saying he didn’t mourn the loss of his mother or wasn’t upset bc she had passed but it’s very short lived and not very much emotion expressed at any point ! They don’t have empathy and sympathy unless it’s someone doing something to them and it’s understood very well that it’s not acceptable to test them in that way

True Fact. If you did not want to see me when I was alive. You don't deserve to see me resting in peace. People come up with lame excuses for not visiting. Oh you know I don't have transportation. As though it's your fault. I had a sister tell me when my Mom was deathly ill, just let me know if she gets worse then I will try to come visit her. I'm like what kind of people don't even have empathy for their own Mom? Think before you bend over backwards to help people who never reciprocate or when they do you become a problem for them.😮

I had EXACTLY the same thought ! This made me so scared that I started IMMEDIATELY to work on my divorce.

Save by the bell

I think you have a more serious problem than a narcissist.

Good for you, puttin' his sorry arse away! Now Bubba can beat on *him* Lol...

Men beating pregnant women is not uncommon it seems people are more foolish than animals.

Similar experience

Very same experience

Same! Extremely emotionally immature. But in my case.... the ex now has our kids. 😢

But he had Man Flu!! 😂🤣😂 Yeah, I need to choose a better man. My ex was b*tching about me not cooking, shopping etc, so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had pneumonia. So I was faking it? What a butthead!

This is pretty normal.

Same here only I’m stuck with him still.

@@msem4228 Wow! I’m so sorry😳. I don’t know how to advise you because I still struggle even though he’s gone it’s not easy. It’s terrible because when I first left him I didn’t even know if I could go shopping and buy things even though I knew I had done that many times before him, there was something inside me that felt like I was not going to survive if I wasn’t with him. all I can say is just keep making him happy (because they can get dangerous) until you can get out. I’m going to pray for you that you have an exit somehow, take care love

Same!!

I have the same problem. Got worse when I divorced my narc ex, then suddenly him and my sister became besties - the hell those 2 put me and my children through is absolute madness, inconceivable to those who have never experienced being the scapegoat of a narc family. But sadly there are MANY of us 😠😢

@@genenedormehl351 what’s funny is I had to kick my sister out of my life, I moved to the other side of the continent. My ex followed me over here (one state north of me) and I’m pretty sure him and my sister talk. Poor narcs, they’re seriously disturbed individuals. Good luck to you and congrats on your getting away. You might have to diss own your sister like I did.

Isn't it horrible to have an unknown chronic illness your entire life? Nobody believes different symptoms you explain over and over again to Doctors, parents, etc? Like you stated having 2 parents who are narcissists and you are "faking it." Then finally years later you get diagnosed with 1 or 2 painful, debilitating, serious illnesses. To top this off you find out down the road in a relationship or long-term marriage your spouse is a narcissist. You sound like a strong person who has been through much in your life. You don't ever give up and know you're not alone. My mother was a narcissist I figured out later in my life. Very often when we've had a parent or a close family member who has cared for us most of our lives and later find out they are narcissists very often we will end up marrying one or getting into a long-term relationship with another narcissist because that's the only behaviors we've seen so we think it's normal. When you finally find out what has happened to you by reading, seeing a psychiatrist or whatever you noticed that didn't seem right, it can be quite scary and unnerving. All the time you may have thought you were the crazy one. Then it's very important to get some kind of help overcoming narcisstic trauma abuse. It's not to be taken lightly. In fact I came across this article which said after living with this type of abuse for a long period of time you lose your vocabulary abilities and speech skills. Your thought process becomes muddled. You will need to begin healing yourself and educating yourself almost from the beginning. I hope your life gets a little easier and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Stay strong fellow orphan

Good job, you deserved better.

Glad you went no contact!! It's been 3 years for me and I am so much better!!!!

Almost 25yrs NC for me and it's the best decision I ever made! Narcs get worse when they get old and sick too. We're dodging a bullet.

Me too. Do pleasantries with my mother at Christmas but that's it. I'll order her meds but want nothing to do with her. Never been happier at 48.

Awwww my heart goes out to you. Hope your doing ok.i had the same experience when my sister died of camcer then my father few years later. He never asked me once was i ok did i need to talk . He used to leave me with our baby while he partied .disappeared for days

I'm going to put my hand up. I'm the child of a narc parent. Had it drilled into me shows of emotion and grieving were pathetic and showing weakness. I can't break that programming, I've broken many others over time and there's a difference between being indifferent/cold and you just can't do the emotional thing. You still have the feelings, you can convey them verbally you just can't show them. I'm sorry for your losses but not everyone who doesn't show emotions are Narcissists, in fact many narcs are extremely good at showing fake emotions when it is to their advantage.

So typical.

Im sorry for your pain and loss of your loved ones. I know your pain 😢 It will get better but its takes a-lot of time.

I'm sorry. Hope you dumped his ass

Thank You For Speaking The Truth, Beautiful One May You Be Blessed 🌞

😢 ………… 🤔 😢🥺

Lord have mercy. I was raised by narcissist an had relationships with narcissist I am realizing that I have been gaslit my entire youthful and adult life.😢 no wonder 💭 I made poor decisions and I was told to hide my illness Diagnosed with lupus back in 2005. No one even knew about it till about 2015. My friends They never knew. I just said I had arthritis problems. They were upset with me which I could understand, because I would drink, and hang with them like I was healthy enough to handle the things we were doing. Just trying to fit in, and not be a burden to anyone. I truly appreciate you coming out and explaining these things. This breaks my heart, because now I sit on a machine doing dialysis three times a week to stay alive. Lord have mercy on the souls that were victims of narcissistic life. Never heard of virtual signaling narcissistic. I am a victim of this. I moved back home to be there for my mom because I didn’t want her to feel alone. 😭😭plus she is the one to nurse back to health if I get a kidney 😢😢😭

This is how my husband was with our son who got diagnosed with cancer.

True

Spot on comment, I totally agree

😮

Yes and Kevin behaves in exactly the same way. Seriously; how many 'how to recognize a Narcissist' videos do we need? You are needy, clearly, and Kevin knows that by telling you what you already know , you will give him your money. And tomorrow, he will tell you again. You're needy and as Kevin well knows, 'Narcissists' are not creating the problems you are experiencing in life.

@@undercoveragent9889 Narcissist.

​@@undercoveragent9889you are very strange psychologically

Is this person a Pisces?

A black spirit is a very correct way of describing this type of person..they are the anti Christ in your life and they are numerous!! This overcoming takes a whole lot but it can be done.....and once you see .. you see ❤

Very well put. You are the first commentator who explains it so clearly ... They are not human, they are actually possessed by a demon. They are not soul suckers they suck our life's energy ... we humans have a neverending energy from God and black entities require that.

​@@Handlethisssno, they are demons, it's a spiritual warfare here on Earth, they are Satans little helpers hellbent on destroying you. That's what they are, do stop this nonsense with the Zodiak signs.

You explained my vile father exactly and when Mum was dying from pancreatic cancer he was frequently abusive to her. Us kids took turns staying there helping care for her 2 at a time coz dad is such an abusive psycho except to the golden child or when people were visiting. He refused to let her rest during the day yelling out as soon as I put her to bed to sleep. He’d yell out for her to hold the hose to the septic tank- meanwhile there were 3 adult kids 2 standing 5metres from him to do this. He’d go in 5 mins after I walked out asking Mum demanding she get up and tell him where his underwear was - at 1pm, what’s for dinner, just finishing lunch 30 minutes prior. On the 3rd time of requesting politely to let her rest he became aggressive towards me and remained aggressive, misogynistic and belittling always when he spoke to me. Just like the first 21 years of my life until I moved very far away. I stood up to him then simply asked at 11pm at night when he wanted to start another fight with me - for taking mum to the doctor the next morning. The way he spoke was like I’d never driven a car before and never been into town before. I’d been visiting that place occasionally for 12 years. I had a career in emergency services driving emergency services vehicles- to emergencies at times dealing with violent psychopaths domestic violence abusers. - for 17 years. I said calmly “do you take me for a fool?” He went off yelling then threatened me I could not see my dying mother if I kept with my ‘bad attitude’. I didn’t say anything but got up and walked away and went to my bedroom which was next to theirs and put the chair hard against the door handle. He woke up my dying Mother and complained relentlessly to her until 4am, I know I was awake hearing this psycho wondering if I should call police. I messaged my sister(another psycho abuser that still had her mask on during this ‘playing nice’). She just said to leave. My home was 3hrs drive away. I realize she had no empathy whatsoever. I didn’t call police coz my father had a gun locked away only he could access. I call police they won’t see violence (this time), my father will pretend I made it all up and after they go probably shoot me if not forcing me out if the house away from Mum. He would care if my 4 kids didn’t have a mother. As it was I left the next morning. He woke up at 7am and acted like nothing had happened- and expected Mum to get up and make him breakfast. She went to hospital 4 days later and was gone 2 weeks after that (10 weeks after diagnosis). He couldn’t wait until she was dead. He was doing everything possible to hasten her death. Her pain meds never truly worked, I told my sister this a registered nurse and found out she did nothing to help Mum except give her more medicine 😵 and get her cream for the allergy rashes but never organized a 24/7 palliative care doctor like she she would help me do. Dad wouldn’t allow Mum 24/7 palliative care doctor that was free but instead rely on their doctor who had no experience and was only available 3 days a week. She had to wait 4hrs in emergency if she wanted after hours care. 💀. The perverse psycho cruelty of this wife abuser has become far worse since he aged. As soon as mum died my sister went back to the psycho abuser that she was the first 22yrs of her life. At 55yrs old she started spitting venom About my sick (adult) child with a life threatening medical condition- totally dismissive of his illness, angrily yelling at me denigrating him. Next phone call denigrated my husband. Next phone call lieI asked for help and she gave it only to lie to our younger abusive brother saying I owed her thousands of dollars. 💀. I called her out on her lying and she said nothing but then yelled at me and denigrated me telling me to fxck off and grow up and get over it- the terribly cruelty I witnessed my dying mother go through and the abuse I was subjected to by our younger brother - that she instigated. I then told a cousin of the dysfunction and abuse and it got back to her. She prevented me attended the spreading of my dead mothers ashes knowing I couldn’t get a flight in time due to the pandemic and then saying I was not welcome as part of the family to attend and made sure I didn’t get any ashes either. And she knew Mum was the only good parent to me and that we had a special bond that psycho was jealous of I now realize. My husband heard the whole conversation including when she yelled at me (over the other phone “You’ve made everyone’s life a misery”, then “It’s your fault mum suffered as she was dying and it’s your fault Dad treats you the way he does”. That B.C is dead to me. She has destroyed any possibility of us siblings getting together again - until after she is dead. She was never a sister to me growing up, lied pretending to be one for over 30years and as soon as mum was out of the house she started her narcissistic psycho rampage. Including crying to an in law that I said horrible things to her and that she is the one hurting since I cut contact. She’s hurting not being able to easily access me and my family to start a fresh new round of hell abuse. She certainly has succeed in tearing the family apart as soon as mum died, and where my abusive father failed as mum was the glue. A family childhood friend that I came across made mention of this and knew, like my bff, my father was a violent abuser back then.

😢🌹❤️

Oh wow! 😔😪

🤬🤬🤬

A true a@@hole!! 😡

You better off with out that 😈

Oh thank goodness you are not involved w/ him. Find a nice girl to be ur friend..my friends of 40 yrs helped me thur stage 3 cancer..my ex husband of 18yrs..did everything he could to hurt me

Stay strong as he will get worse. The nasty starts after the love bombing doesn’t work. He will slander you to others to make your life as miserable as possible……why?…..because narcs can’t stand being rejected and you must be punished! Take care.

Get away from him! It’s only gonna get worse!

Be strong, stay away from him. He's revealed who he is, believe him.

Wow! What a cold, cruel woman. I'm so sorry you experienced that. I'm glad you survived her.

So sorry for you. Hope your life is so much better now

So sorry your mom was so awful 😢

So grateful you survived. ✊✌️

@@deewillis2409 So sorry you went through that! It's hard to understand people with not even the tiniest but of empathy. I hope you have some people in your life that you CAN count on now.

😲 - Wow!!!

Your comment, took my breath away! what a hideous and unfeeling human being!

That's What I Said. Narcissist : Parent, Husband, Partner or Sibling Endanger Your Life, Risk Your Life. In your Case your Partner tried to Poison you for 12 Years, he Really 😢 Tried to kill you, but you discovered it. Efrat.

I went through this same thing with my ex with being over medicated....he knew the shape I was in and pushed me either further...I knew something was up but couldn't put my finger on it .I harped and harped until he finally said this isn't about other women it's about other men!! He didn't want to admit his life style and certainly didn't want anyone else to know including his kids!! He ended up literally walking off while I filed for divorce and he knew the shape I was in when he Left!! He ended up stalking me and paying other people to follow me rattle me until I hired a PI and the first thing he asked me was.. did he have a life insurance policy on me!! He never came to divorce court and from that day to this we of course have never spoken!! He had never spent one faithful day in that marriage... but thank God I got out in 5 years where his ex had spent 30 with him!!! It's been a tough road .. somethings I never recovered but I have myself!! I'm single retired live alone have never dated again but I'm well and I'm receptive to someone new in my life 😅 It's healing to share and by so doing I pray some one else along the lines are helped ❤

Holy hell!!!

Just one question: Was there any reason why your ex--boyfriend couldn't have gone to the party alone? Since this was an OFFICE PARTY, that was being thrown by the boyfriend's BOSS, and not just some RANDOM party.... I'm having trouble understanding, under these circumstances, why it wouldn't have been okay for him to go to the party by himself......???

​@@protosphaI'm certain it was because guilt-tripping her about not going was way more enjoyable for him. He probably didn't particularly want to go anyway, but making her feel awful about "letting him down" was more important. 😢

​@@protosphaI'm certain it was because guilt-tripping her about not going was way more enjoyable for him. He probably didn't particularly want to go anyway, but making her feel awful about "letting him down" was more important. 😢

Oh my goodness...I can completely relate to what you just shared. While I was with the narc he literally would never invite me to his staff parties. I remember him being so concerned that he didn't have the right outfit for that occasion. So while I was out with our children and my stepson one afternoon I bought him an outfit at a second hand shop. I previously worked in men's retail before meeting him so I knew how to pick out quality clothing. I discovered some time after his staff party that the reason he never invited me was because he was having an affair with one of his co-workers. When he left that night to go to the party he looked absolutely amazing. None times out of 10. I was left alone with our children while he went out 'shmoozing'. If I actually did go to an event with him he would walk in and literally leave me behind in a room of mostly strangers like I didn't exist. He was always playing it like he wasn't really in a sincere relationship with me...for his 'audience'. A total disrespectful, ungrateful piece of 'garbage'. I was a mere employee to him and nothing else. He can pound sand.

@@protospha I still have that same question as well. I offered that option to him many times and he refused to take it. He overtly said that going alone was not acceptable to him- I HAD to go with him. My best guess is this: showing up to the party with his girlfriend was an important part of maintaining the Narcissistic facade, and if he showed up alone then he would not get the facade boost and the narcissistic supply that he was seeking. So going alone was unacceptable to him. The main takeaway is that to a narcissist, getting their narcissistic supply, controlling others, looking like they have it all and showing it off to everyone they know is more important than their partner’s physical health, mental and emotional health, the health of a relationship, etc….

I have so many memories of this. It started very early into the 'situationship'. I had no clue what kind of energy I was dealing and coping with at that time... frankly for year's. Truly destructive, traumatizing memories. My children don't understand it. I've given up after 31 year's 'explaining' myself. He's got them completely derailed. Hook, line and sinker. Just have to let go and let God 💜💌 I pray for my children every single day 💔

Omg I'm so very sorry ❤

So sorry!

Knowing by trial and error that your family does not have your back is devastating. -- But once I knew, I was out of there! @@lovelv1278

You Are Deserving of Love: May You Be Healed of All That Ails You 🌞🕉☯

I hope you remember that later on.

I survived a near decade of Munchhausen’s by Proxy, while bedridden/housebound, at the hands of my “caretaker” mother. It was due to a second bariatric surgery, meant to be a simple corrective surgery - which, my body wouldn’t heal from; hence, how she became my “caretaker” (I was so sick, I didn’t even know how sick I was, because I was so out of it. I heard her say the hospital wouldn’t release me, unless I had a caretaker - that’s how I learned it the word, in relation to my situation. Anytime she threatened anything, especially, when I tried to stand up for myself and she would say I could leave anytime I wanted to.. I said she is the one who took on the “caretaker” responsibilities, knowing full well what was going on.. She would always say she never, ever said that, even though, it was the truth). Come to find out, during my tenure of illness.. All of my health issues - especially, the knee/ankle pain and hormonal belly/being overweight, at age 6 - we’re all due to incredibly dysfunctional adrenals. I was diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome; long-term exposure to excess cortisol, due to external stressors/environment. My mother discovered my health issues were stress-related - and absolutely ramped up her awful behaviors. She would scream and yell at me, all the time. I still have auditory hallucinations of her yelling my name - as well as in my dreams. Also, I am autistic/ADHD. As well as borderline, with DID, bi-polar, CPTSD, and OCD. Now, my adrenals are so shot - I started perimenopause early, at the age of 34, and am permanently disabled. And I am so sensitive to estrogen, there is no way I could bear children, now. I don’t think I would have had the extent of the health issues I ended up with, due to the medical intervention from the time I was sick (I would take way more pain pills than even a recreational drug user - because of how tense I always was, especially, when she would get mad and yell; which, because I had a fistula connected to my digestive system - it stopped my digestive system, and everything would come out a hole, underneath my left arm. Absolutely excruciating).. I use to be able to tell people “Don’t fuck with me - I’m twice the asshole you’ll ever be.” However, now, since they removed part of my colon, I can say “I’m less of an asshole, than most.” She would give me her Xanax, to help me “relax,” even though I was on oxycodone. She would wait until right before I served dinner - where I would end up falling asleep, with my face in my food.. And she would leave me there. And this was at a time I had a great amount of difficulty even getting in the shower - as well as I was always so cold, the water heater wasn’t turned up very high, and she wouldn’t do anything about it.. So, the water would turn cold before I could even get out - which, also, was quite painful. So, point being.. I can REALLY relate to your disability, due to excess, long-term exposure to cortisol. I will never not believe my mother didn’t do everything she could think of, to use my health issues against me, to make me more sick and induce my death. (In my opinion, of course. I don’t need to get sued or whatever). And I found out, last year, there is diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder in my immediate family, by someone I spent majority of my childhood with. Ironically, she always did her best to help me gain self-esteem, supported my love for music and live shows, as well as always told me how “artistic” I am - which, I had no idea I was good at anything, whatsoever. That was the first time anyone ever said I had a trait, like that. Though, it’s undeniable they had NPD, also, with their behaviors throughout my life - though, I was warned when I was much younger there were court documents stating she wasn’t right.. So, I always knew when she acted strangely, it was because she was sick. It was much easier to deal with those behaviors, as a kid, knowing that (though, I didn’t know I t was NPD, at the time). Anyways, I pray you are doing better; and have been able to recover, as much as possible. Warmest regards and all the best.

&My narcissistic father had a stroke at 60 years of age & it was because after 10 years of quitting smoking & drinking, he went back smoking3-4 packs a day & drinking beer & whiskey & was also obese!! He in his condition was still complaining, argueing, ect. He was a miserable man for the next 24 years & I had to put up with it!!

​@@XOChristianaNicolepraying for a miraculous recovery for you and that you be encircled by kind, loving, hospitable souls. 🙏 ❤ 🙏

The devil created people like him

You escaped - so lucky you, for sure!

@@protospha yes thank you.. it got alot worse after this situation but I stayed on topic of the vid, yes I’m so lucky I finally was able to leave..

You Were Abused By Narcissists You Are Deserving of Love 🌞🌈 May You Be Healed And Blessed

Daisy you are a little love. May your life be better now and someone special in it that appreciates and treasures you. Thanks for sharing❤

Be kind and loving... change your username. It's so disrespectful to yourself.

I'm so sorry u had to go through that.. Lots of love❤

You are NOT crazy!!!!!

They sure are not 'normal'. This was how my nephew died, told he's exaggerating, go take a nap, and he did and never woke up. 43 years old.

They really will deceive you!

Your father told his friends, family & workmates nothing but complaints about your mother!! My narc. father told hid family & otyer how low-down his wife & kids were!! They lie & lie & then lie some more!!

Evil abounds.

I bet she had a huge welcoming at heavens gate. Things are sometimes so unfair here. I used to think if I'm not here for him, my ex, who will love him? Also he would threaten suicide or murder if I left. Eventually I left, and he's remarried. They've been together at least 8 years. I'm certain he'll have full attendance of people who never really knew him. I expect a handful, but they will be people who knew me with my faults and all and still supported me. I'll take quality over quantity. Some are stunned at how selfish I could actually be to leave such a perfect, caring, loving man which they knew he was by his own touting. I had Christian groups praying for my mind and soul when I left him. I've probably never gotten as much prayer for anything as I got during those days. They weren't praying for my protection when I was there, but they turned up the prayers for the confused, lost sheep. I don't care what they think of me. I'm free. I did get a good laugh when I knee they were finally praying for me, and I suddenly felt invincible that he couldn't kill me because of their extra prayers.

So sorry. People can be so cruel or just plain as plain stupid

Reading that hurt my heart.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I really hope you are safe now. And healthy. God bless.

@@mbj-uo8lt That is very kind. Thank you 🌹. I am safe and once his assault trial is done in a couple weeks I can close the door on him even more.

​@@FuneraryGirlGood luck at the trial.

What an entitled freak, so glad you are away from him now!!!!

Lived it... experienced it too. You're not crazy. Your intuition is on point. Trust it always. In the late 80's early 90's I had zero understanding of what narc's are about. One of their first priorities is to undermine the loving bond you have with your children. 'One day - one drama - one set up' at a time. They are destructive , dark souls. Sly. They are thieves on every level. They use you because they absolutely 'know' that you are a sincere person. They manipulate you and use you for everything you have to give. You... make them look good. Never forget that 💚💌

It is wrong if someone doesn´t help you when you are ill. It is very wrong behaviour. If you love someone you will never let him/her alone even maybe you are not in good terms. (A husband should never leave you alone when you are ill). If he/she does he/she is never the right one for you (because he just doesn´t care a bit about you). That is just disgusting behaviour.

It's a shame how alone we are after all the support we've given to the narc.

Smart don’t tell them nothing

My boyfriend narc when I was ill he also said how this happen?

Yeah when I had broken bones I had to brace it up take pain meds and keep going. Like I was a machine. It took longer but I did heal.

So sorry to hear that.@@laurac.9322

My mom used to do that...and with the years I internalized this voice calling me lazy...it has taken me a lot of work to contrdict these voices...specially because the narc was the one who made you sick on the first place

Yes, virtue signalling is real. I had triple spinal fractures and the narc family member used the term lazy, when all we could do at the time was nourish ourselves & rest. Their cruelty knows no bounds. And they do make us sick + inflict injury on top of that. It’s a positive we now know better and have taken steps to detach from them. Sending love and light to you all too.🩷💜🩵

@@linettelow 🤗💗

@@LesleyGarvs-vo7eq 🥰💖🪻

Treat u so bad.

❤ we care

I'm sending you Strength and Focus.....never stop fighting for Yourself ! ❤️ 🐈

Good for you. Believe there is a way forward and out of that abusive situation. Wishing you an easy path forward.

Keep strong and have faith,belief that this will happen.There are many of us behind you ,wishing you well and sending Love and Strength.🤗🤗💕💕💕🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️

Go back 40-50-60 plus years ago, the word narcissist was NEVER, EVER mentioned, so much "hush-hush" even in mental health issues!!

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. Praying that you find the strength, resources & courage to accomplish all you need & find freedom from this oppression.❤

....imo, also because they ARE100% Weak Cowards. Anyone can kick someone when that person is down - EZ. Yet, This person has learned to let the Narcs clearly know that, (By The Grace Of GOD) when I get back up off the ground, dust self off, - then they can Rest Assured that I will retailate by 150% with zero mercy. Amazing how Effective This new skill works for me, now at 60. Thankfully. Wish had known this 45 years ago. Well, live and learn and all thanks and praise to God.

🩵🩵🩵 I’m so sorry Rena, I’ve experienced narcissistic abuse too in the last 13 years & it was horrible. You’ve written it so well: every illness or injury we’ve had they’ve exacerbated. I’m sending love, light and peace your way. Having gotten out of the fog, I still feel sick to my core thinking about the pain they caused. I hope you too are safe & well this holiday season, wishing you the brightest, loveliest Christmas.🎄😌🐕🩵🩵🩵

My x shouted and threatened me when I had contractions to give birth. I was laying on the floor unable to stand up and he raged and spit on me and yelled: you always want it YOUR WAY. I was unable to react. When we arrived to the hospital he was smiling and acted Mr loving husband. I was in shock. I'm sorry I went home with him. It took me nine years to be free. No I'm happy without him.

Thank you. Hope your new year is brighter.@@linettelow

I'm sorry that you went through so much unwarranted hatred. They don't know how to love. The best thing I'd say is to learn about these sick individuals and identify them before you form any relationship with them. If you're of light they will try to replace it with their darkness. During pregnancy in the animal kingdom the male protects the female. If animals have that instinct and a human doesn't it's a red flag something is off. The covert narcs always pretend when someone is watching because they know what they are. You went through but you're not still there so I'm happy that you got to the other side. Now you're wiser. Stay strong. @@meretebogen8778

I can relate to this. Even one day I was supposed to meet him after his work shift and I rang him saying I didn't know what to do because I put wrong my contact lense and it went somehow at the back of the eye and I got scared the living sh*t of me and he was like whay you want me to do. Some other days I couldn't say I felt sick because it was like I always had to be okay. Now after all the shit he put me through is giving me silent treatment, gaslighting while on Tinder. I cannot go to the house we shared as it belongs to his parents. I'm 35 and my life is a total mess and destroyed. Mentally drained but I have to book that flight to a new country to get my life back... I need to find the strenght. Back to my parents house, I haven't left my room for more than a week since he will not reply or answer to give me the explanation I need.

​@@lauralau1377, I don't have advice but just wanted to say I'm so sorry and I hope you are able to get to your folks' house soon, if you haven't already. God Bless.

He’ll never give you the answer you need, because he would have to “out” himself, and faults or failures cannot be admitted. Everything will always be your fault in his nasty little mind. You can do this; prayers!

my mum was very distinctly the third category. She would diagnose everyone with illness and if you accepted her help on any matter she would begin treating you like you were disabled. However she would also talk about helping but not actually do anything the same way she would talk about food but not actually buy any. Her cabal of enablers always told me I was the one with the problem but with the benefit of hindsight and twenty years of decent meals it actually shocks me that a kid who was underweight and regularly passing out didn't trigger alarm bells to other people in the community.

So sad to hear both of your stories... I hope life has become much better for the both of. May god bless you all the days of your lives.🙏.

Some momsters have absolutely no maternal energy. Going no contact is best if you can. 💜

Oh yes, as a young girl I had bouts of pain monthly that were almost unbearable. As I sat in the recliner with a heating pad to my lower stomach, my mom said, “Can’t you do something while you’re sitting there?” I was supposed to be productive constantly.

Great reply. I admire you being able to set boundaries especially while sick.

Good for you telling your mother that 😂

Thank you so much ... 🙏😅 Keep safe ... 🎉

Lol. Heard thar one.😂

My fear exactly.

Years ago mass media did not allow any talk or discussion of this subject!!

Good for you and never look back with regret. A person who loves you wouldn’t act that way when you at your weakest

My mother does this too ... She flips stuff around , denies, changes subject , starts fights . She’s my father’s flying monkey .

@@heatherl7028 They don’t conduct them selves like loving parents when they have that attitude. And if there is moe than one child in the family they love to choose one to be the scapegoat or the worker child etc to control them. It is an abusive relationship.

I have dreamed of doing this with my narc mother. She’s getting on in years so I will just bide my time.

Bet you had a day full of bliss. 😂🎉

Oh, I can relate to that! If my ex was sick, then he didn't have to do anything. But if *I* was sick.....I had to do EVERYTHING!

Same herewith my 2 sisters. All a out them

Same here, have a terminal illness and family has abandoned me because I am no longer of use to them, even though I was there for them for decades ​@@anneking2631

I’m so sorry 😢 I can relate in my own way. I’ve had to drive myself to the ER on a couple occasions and my narc parents used to shame me, blame me and severely neglect me due to my chronic conditions - that I’m still to this day trying to heal and have been dealing with for years. Best decision I’ve made is going no contact. There’s been grief for sure, but also a lot of relief. I’m glad you got out too! Big hugs to you, take good care 🩷