My Narcissistic Father's Last Words To Me Before Dying
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Күн бұрынNarcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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@TheRoyalWe Жыл бұрын
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@hollywiley5668 Жыл бұрын
U can’t say that.. That u and your mom weren’t enough for him.. U were an innocent child who probably loved both your parents.. Your parents had problems that had nothing to do w u.. He is the one who left, he was the one w the problem.. Being married is the hardest job u will ever have, being a parent is the most important job u will ever have..
@hollywiley5668 Жыл бұрын
My dad acted like a playboy., my mom ran her own private night club and my dad ran around and drank.. when she divorced him, he never got over it til the day he died..
@hollywiley5668 Жыл бұрын
Narcissists would never ever say they don’t deserve something.. Cuz they think the world revolves around them..
@hollywiley5668 Жыл бұрын
To know oneself one has to love oneself.. He didn’t like who he was cuz he had a hard time showing love, he had regrets, and maybe he thought that he was just too late that u should’ve written him off.. I think it’s more of self loathing..
@hollywiley5668 Жыл бұрын
No u stay a father because it’s the right thing to do.. nowadays it’s hard for people to do the right thing, and most don’t even feel guilty or bad when they do the wrong thing.. THAT is narcissistic.. Having no emotion..
@mauricebrocklehurst2358 Жыл бұрын
Most people don't know what loneliness is until they're with a group of people who make them feel lonelier than they were being alone.
@maryanngarcia3080 Жыл бұрын
Oh, do I know what you mean.”
@mzmscoyote Жыл бұрын
How does anyone MAKE you feel anything? Isn’t what you feel YOUR own reaction to how others behave around you?
@richardturpin3665 Жыл бұрын
i know the feeling
@carriephilippi Жыл бұрын
True af
@cebedojames Жыл бұрын
the reason for that is because you cannot act or say with complete freedom. you would be judged by that person. you have to limit yourself. when you are alone you are totally free which is why it feels better to be alone than with a narcissist.
@namaste348 Жыл бұрын
I'm starting to think having good and loving parents is more rare than I thought
@betulapendula7661 Жыл бұрын
Me too
@sassi7966 Жыл бұрын
I think these days dysfunctional is the norm. Then again, the "dysfunctional" had bad parents of their own. And they had their own. And them, their own. And so on and so forth. It's only with the dawn of psychology and psychiatry that things have been categorised and labelled. Maybe people are just people. We try to be civilised but we're just intelligent animals. Some not so intelligent. There are not enough psychiatrists in the world to heal all of the people who need it. We're doomed to repeat things, over and over again.
@annstar4306 Жыл бұрын
So true my father is 94 and he never thanked me for anything and I cared after him for a long long time 😡
@Bibi-hh1md Жыл бұрын
Same here
@vonbvonb3412 Жыл бұрын
@@annstar4306 should we expect thanks though? if life is most precious of all(good or bad), is thanking giver enough?
@Pitoonya 5 ай бұрын
I saw a quote that I found to be true: A Narcissist gives you just enough hope to hold onto.... absolutely nothing.
@mariapap8962 11 ай бұрын
Narcissists don't need people to tell them who they are, they need people to constantly praise, validate and uplift them. If you tell them who they are (the truth! ) and they don't like it, they're not going to stick around to get to know who they are, you'll most probably get dumped through silent treatment or experience their rage.
@meplife7313 7 ай бұрын
yep I told my mum the truth about her recent behaviour in September and she's now giving me the silent treatment. ugh.
@laurah1291 7 ай бұрын
Amen 🙏 well said
@jskok3280 7 ай бұрын
100% correct
@torriepenney936 7 ай бұрын
That was true w my husband. I did not agree with him hinting at doing some adultery. He seethed and sought out friends to validate his desire to be himself. We had worked to own our home and have children. After having our son, my husband became focussed on outer groups, affairs, his eventual departure. He explained to our son at age 4 that I was
@torriepenney936 7 ай бұрын
That I was yelling at Daddy too much. I was developing as a mother and clearly knew my husband should want to understand our son and me. Got flack...he didn't need to know.
@jonjennings13 Жыл бұрын
"My father's dying last wish was that he could hold me in his arms one more time. HE WAS IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!" --Rodney Dangerfield
@jee4899 11 ай бұрын
Exactly this, nothing make sense until when you realise that they hold only hate and contempt for you.
@sindhugireesan5515 11 ай бұрын
Oh, difficult
@Charmainecharmainecharmaine 11 ай бұрын
God, I love Dangerfield
@phelinephrenzy2358 11 ай бұрын
We needed that 😂
@MaryJ-sj3fj 11 ай бұрын
Rodney Dangerfield, my favorite comedian😂😂
@susanblanche9684 Жыл бұрын
A therapist told me years ago " People need to control themselves not others"
@Morgan313 11 ай бұрын
People try to control others because they cannot control themselves
@Kari.F. 11 ай бұрын
That's true, and well said - in a relationship between two healthy, stable and rational people. That's never how it works with narcissists, though. The only person who can change a narcissist is the narcissist him/herself, and they think they're perfect in every conceivable way. So why on earth would they want to change and control themselves? They have to control and make the other person change, because if something is wrong in the relationship, it's always the other person's fault. It's exhausting!
@qua7771 11 ай бұрын
You can't control others. If you're trying, it explains the psychiatrists.
@LaPinturaBella 11 ай бұрын
@@Kari.F.It's abusive. Even worse than being only exhausting.
@user-vq7go9jt2j 11 ай бұрын
Enemas are injections of fluids used to cleanse or stimulate the emptying of your bowel.
@debbieroberts5866 9 ай бұрын
Before I knew anything about the narcissist family dynamics, I spent the last months of my mother's life taking care of her as she was dying. One day, I recounted all the things I had done and achieved in my life. I know now that I was looking for the validation and approval I'd never received from her. After reminding her of my accomplishments, she turned to me and said, "No. That was your sister. " I can laugh about it now, but for a long time, it was a terrible pain in my heart.
@mvbigmagic4048 7 ай бұрын
Wow.... WTF. That just ain't right.... Well if she couldn't say it... dang.... I'm proud of you. I can't say I would have been that nice to her if my mom said that to me. Heck....
@diane4488 7 ай бұрын
They are usually hurtful to the end! Sorry you had to experience that.
@user-jy6jm4io5g 6 ай бұрын
You know what you accomplished and you worked hard to get it and that is fabulous because you did it! You did it!!! Pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself…. I think that’s awesome … I’m sorry you had a shit for a parent.
@pong9000 6 ай бұрын
Good for you, Debbieroberts. 🙂 Last summer my 101-yr-old narcissistic/autistic bedridden grandmother died peacefully. I was the primary caregiver for the final years because her retired psychopathic children wouldn't help, after her youngest (live at home uncle) got cancer. They shunned her (I had only met Grandma twice in my life) and wouldn't even help their struggling little brother. She did neglect her children so that some were taken away to foster homes, some she put for adoption. So I got to meet this stone-deaf extreme introvert, go through her stuff, realize she'd been plainly autistic from birth and unable to raise children alone though that fact hadn't clicked with my resentful mother at all. When I informed Grandma (on notepad) her brother had passed away, she said "I guess I'm the last one left," to which I wrote "You're not alone! Your daughter is visiting next week. I'm here for you," but truly she was in her own world, as she'd always been, and never spoke again with any substance. It doesn't count for communication when they answer "yes" to ice cream. At least narcissists, despite popular abuse of the word, aren't really malicious. At base they simply don't know about your feelings one way or another. And if they lunge for the heart they're likely to miss.
@venitajenkins6640 6 ай бұрын
Another excuse for their horrible behavior. Your father knew who he was. As a christian I have just about heard it all. My xhusband was a hard core covert narcissist. He too was on wife number 4 when he died. He was on the phone accusing me to our daughter that he could do more since she was sick. That conversation between h I m and I never took place. Why he told my daughter that lie about me emailing him,I have no idea. I went no contact with him before I knew that may be necessary. 18 years of marriage,I took a car and some furniture. Nothing to do with money, did I request because I knew he would use that to torment me some way. He had many Excuses for his behavior. He really believed he could confess all his sins and go to heaven on his death bed. I believe my Bible aka the word of GOD. According to That He didn't make it. Sadly I knew that he knew exactly what he was doing. In his arrogance he couldn't see a good GOD sending him to hell. That?
@bellastone-le9eb 11 ай бұрын
My narcissistic uncles last words before dying(no exaggeration) were: "I'm mad because all those women I didn't sleep with" Well friends, his wife my aunt was one of the most amazing women I've ever met. She was a true saint, an ex nun, faithful and honest and just amazing. She was such a good wife to him. Disgusting and zero conscious. One of the biggest things narcissists do is they are excellent at creating an outer facade, especially in relationships but at home are absolutely diabolical. They are a nightmare.
@cherierhynes8514 7 ай бұрын
Yes. They are very destructive in a calculating fashion ....and if that aint hate😢
@Padraigp 6 ай бұрын
I dont think it matters how good your wife is people do regret using this social construct of man and wife and not valueieng their actual desires..not having had enough sex is one of the biggest regrets on death beds. Totally common thing to say not odd at all.
@valeanualecsandra6233 6 ай бұрын
Oh My God….
@vardaelentari8907 6 ай бұрын
"Diabolical" is a freakin accurate description of what they are.
@KM-kv6tf 6 ай бұрын
My friend / landlord is one and is an absolute male chauvinistic narcissistic pig!! He’s abusive self centered slob and pervert! I have a few more months living here and my family and I are gone! To another state even. I known him since we were kids if my husband knew half of the disgusting things he’s said to me he would beat him down. I’m tough though so I handle it I give him a what for. But he creeps me out.
@deezelfairy Жыл бұрын
I can only say man, that your narcissistic father leaving at 4 years old was probably the best thing that could have happened to you even if it may never seem it. I've got 19 years of memories of that yelling and screaming. My child hood was a 24/7 war zone.
@nandinigogoi2584 Жыл бұрын
I totally agree...Staying with a narc parent is more harmful then just being there and staying bk with family and abusing them day and night..That breaks the kid to the extreme level no human should experience..n the biggest problem the kid themselves feel they are the problem as they dont want to accept that the parent is abusive
@sonofhibbs4425 Жыл бұрын
Right. In some ways, his dad was less of a narc by leaving.
@shylathiel Жыл бұрын
Mine to
@sangitadey8298 Жыл бұрын
Exactly so.
@dove888 Жыл бұрын
Agreed
@vladynick Жыл бұрын
Narcissists don't "self-reflect". It's that simple!
@TheRoyalWe Жыл бұрын
Truth
@cybco Жыл бұрын
Spot on, Introspection, same thing.
@documentedrecords5364 Жыл бұрын
That's just not true.... I have been called a narcissistic. I reflected on my life. I reflected on what I did with my life, who I hurt, things I did, things I said. I did some amazing things with my life. I did some terrible things with my life. I had multiple relationships with people, with wonderful people, with hateful people. The problem with me though is, I don't actually KNOW if I'm the narcissists. I was told I wasn't needed in my life. I was told to give up, I had some really bad influences in my life, and some good ones. I been through a lot of trauma in my life. And to be honest, I was just looking for who I am. Despite some bad relationships I had with family and people. I seen some amazing things and qualities in people. I see the good and the bad. Maybe I am the narc, maybe I'm not, but, I self reflect on my own. I been through a lot. I was self harming myself when I was in the 8th grade. Probably even before that. As I said before I don't know if I am the narc, or if the people I was exposed to were the narcs. Either way, I wish I knew the things that I knew now about the types of personalities.
@a.b.creator Жыл бұрын
..and it's sickening.
@jd-pw8yv Жыл бұрын
@@documentedrecords5364 You've used a lot of I's in your comment.
@SweetUniverse 7 ай бұрын
To be the opposite of a narcissist- own your mistakes. Say, "Yes- that's my fault. I was wrong." No excuses, no blaming someone else.
@DB-xm1oe 5 ай бұрын
I always felt like that was the sign of being a grown up. Sounds like my father never grew up😂
@irishmermaid4 9 ай бұрын
I fear for my grandson. He is an only child. His mother is a narc with anger issues & his father is an alcoholic. I raised that beautiful boy for 5 1/2 years. Then I called out his parents on their treatment of him. Then they cut me out of his life. I worry every day for his safety. My heart is crushed in knowing I will probaby never see him again. My boy needs to know his grandmom loves & misses him. And, I cannot protect him. Please pray for my Hunter. Thank you so kindly.❤
@mirriamvalentin8634 7 ай бұрын
That's terrible I pray you get to see him again ❤️🙏 I feel your Pain ❤️🙏
@artyompopov7741 7 ай бұрын
But how exactly one of those who you raised ended up with narcissism/alcoholism?
@irishmermaid4 7 ай бұрын
@@artyompopov7741 My son chooses to drink. I do not know what triggered it, as he was an athlete and an A student. The drinking became evident about age 29 I have 2 other children who are mature & successful. Interesting to note, their father is a narc.
@irishmermaid4 7 ай бұрын
@@mirriamvalentin8634 Thank you. The grief never ends. I hope you are at a peaceful place in your life. Merry Christmas.🤗
@artyompopov7741 7 ай бұрын
@@irishmermaid4 it looks like a narcissistic trauma.
@doremefasolateeda Жыл бұрын
Bless those people who have loving mothers and fathers...some of us don't know what it's like where others get it everyday. Bless those of us who have been tossed out to sea...that we may float and learn to navigate through these deep and sometimes dangerous waters ...and may we find us a good landing.
@yettiluch1 Жыл бұрын
Indeed
@LoveLoveLove9552 Жыл бұрын
I was just thinking about that today, how lucky my friend is who has the same first name as I do. But I got the evil parents.
@tessarae9127 Жыл бұрын
I’m glad I know the truth of who they are, now I don’t waste time looking for a needle in a haystack, for a scrap of love where there isn’t… A lot of the people I know who maintain relationships with their parents aren’t as solid with them as they seem… They are still not able to be themselves fully with their parents in most cases and end up holding back so they never have to know what happens if they fall short of whatever role is assigned to them.
@NoThankYouReally Жыл бұрын
I have been blessed to have wonderful parents. It is not appreciated by a child when they're a child; at some point however you get close enough to friends, spouses, to recognize..."boy, am I lucky." If you are raising your kids right, they won't know how good they have it, nor should they, until later in the game.
@angelapastorius2377 Жыл бұрын
@@tessarae9127 Sadly, I watched someone die under these circumstances. 💔😭 BROKE my heart.
@adamoart211 Жыл бұрын
If there's anything I've learn from a narcisist, it's that NOTHING is ever enough for them. It's like they have a gaping hole inside of them, and they just don't know what to fill it with. You could give them the world and it still wouldn't satisfy them.
@TheRoyalWe Жыл бұрын
This is true
@santosdr2 Жыл бұрын
So I'm a narcisist, because I have a gapping hole that can't be filled, because I cna't be content. but then I'm like bi polar because my younger self can by child self, but since I was raped. I split and part of me is never satisfied, because of the why? I never knew why and I spent years and years of an anger growing and finally get to a point where I was able to love myself but that part of me that was angry could never be satisfied, because what happened to me was unacceptable. but part of me accepted it, and this created a division in me, and I just wanted the part of me that accepted what happened to be, accept that is reasonable for me to be angry about that kind of action. and I did achieve that at one point, but then it is like something inside of me was still broken. Or rather I tried to fix something that wasn't broken, because I tried to fix my anger instead of allowing my anger to be and point it in a way that would help others.
@angeliathompson5183 Жыл бұрын
You are honestly right.
@Gizziiusa Жыл бұрын
@@santosdr2 Everyone has 2 wolves inside them. They are polar opposites of each other, and THEY FIGHT ONE ANOTHER. For you, one is deep seated insatiable anger, and the other is not. Which wolf wins? You ask? The one you feed the most. Native American Proverb.
@Rockit181 Жыл бұрын
nothing is ever enough for them and they end up with nothing and no one
@JakeStewart1343 2 ай бұрын
I lost my brother to suicide in 2022. 4 days before he hung himself, his last cry for help was to tie the rope to a tree at my parents' house, which he was living at. He also left the ladder next to the hanging rope and went about his day. My dad freaked out on him and said he better not do anything stupid at "HIS HOUSE" He also told him to imagine how his friends, nephews, parents, feel after losing their kid to hanging himself. 4 days later, my brother actually did it. My father had a golden opportunity to get my brother help but chose to make the situation about himself. Now, he gets to play the victim and make the situation about himself for the rest of his life. 🙄
@ladennayoung2939 7 күн бұрын
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that you experienced that. I pray your strength in the LORD IN JESUS' NAME. AMEN. Yes. They ALWAYS find a way to include them and make it about themselves.
@ladymiss9466 7 ай бұрын
My narcissist mother: "I did the best I could." She never admits wrong doing or causing harm.
@susieclayton3797 6 ай бұрын
Same here. It's as if they believe that statement alone nullifies any and all of the damage they did.
@danaVstone-LevelUp 5 ай бұрын
That is exactly what my narcissist mother says! I’ve let go of wanting her to actually taking responsibility for any of her behavior.
@mattbarker1411 4 ай бұрын
Sounds like something a narcissist would type about their mother.
@nancybatch7007 4 ай бұрын
She's not wrong. Shortly before she died my narcissist mother apologized for being such a bad mother and my honest response was to assure that she did the best she could and no one can hope for more than that. It gave her some comfort without my having to lie. You have to let it go; it just hurts you if you don't.
@ladymiss9466 4 ай бұрын
@nancybatch7007 Sorry for your loss🙏 I agree with you. the context that I didn't share is that I was seeking to repair the relationship. To build trust, I needed her to understand what isn't healthy behavior so that the harm could stop . Unfortunately, without acknowledgement and acceptance of her part, we couldn't move on to establishing new behaviors because I don't trust that the pummeling will stop.
@Canyon2023 11 ай бұрын
So your dad never said he regretted "never knowing YOU"...his son! He only cared about not knowing "himself". PERFECT narcissism that never changes.
@jambothejoyful2966 11 ай бұрын
Where you see eccentricity I see confession and vulnerability
@geekfreak618 11 ай бұрын
You don't understand narcs fully yet then jambo@@jambothejoyful2966
@geekfreak618 11 ай бұрын
Exactly Canyon. It's yet another playing on people's feelings in a manipulative way.
@roadhousepress 11 ай бұрын
Exactly
@justinereynolds4261 10 ай бұрын
Best comnent !
@reevinriggin3570 11 ай бұрын
My Mom is a narcissist. My Dad was the most loving man the world has ever known. He stayed with her......for us. He KNEW that his presence was paramount to having a good upbringing. His stability and love was the light that guided us to good lives with good relationships and good children of our own. It was a gift He gave us that I didn't recognise until after he was gone. He put up with her BS for 67 years. He did love her, no doubt. But he was treated horribly, as we were, but he stayed. He loved her as well as us kids. Above all else, he conquered. We all have good loving families because of the love he showed us and the blueprint he gave us on HOW to be a good parent. I miss you Dad. Thank You.
@Ethan-jd3qt 6 ай бұрын
That sounds like an unbelievably strong man right there. Sacrificed himself for the ones he loved. The pain he had to go through to break the curse for his children. That’s a man.
@scaredholy 6 ай бұрын
Me too. He was often in a bad mood but at least he was sober and serious. I hope he's in Heavan and I will be too.
@marshaaudrina001joe 6 ай бұрын
That's beautiful ❤️
@ZLLi661 5 ай бұрын
I could easily say this about my Mum. Except 2 out of 5 of us kids have continued the cycle of dysfunction and abuse. Me, I made sure the father of my kids was polar opposite to my psycho violent abusive father. My Mum never knew her biological father (coz of her mother). Her mother (my Nan), had a violent psycho father and she married the first guy that asked her- just to get away from her father. Her mother died quite young with stage 4 cancer after my Nan and her siblings managed to ‘kidnap’ their mother away from their psycho father so she could see a doctor and then find out the awful news. My great grandmother never went back to her psycho husband. He died alone, not being found for 3 days coz no family wanted to go near him. My Nan never loved her first husband and during the depression he went away and my Nan thought she had been abandoned. Nan met my mother’s father and fell in love. Coz she fell pregnant to him while married and he begged her divorce her husband, but divorce was so shameful she didn’t. And her husband begged her to not divorce him and as soon as a mum was born he never let her forget she cheated on him. She had one child to him but because it was a girl her husband continued his affairs and abuse until she saved enough money to divorce him which was a big deal in the early 1940’s. Unfortunately my Mum grew up with major issues as whom she knew as her father treated her terribly. Mum got a step father at 15 and he was a lovely man. But the damage was done. Mum married a psycho abuser too. 😵💫. Never divorced him I think now coz of her abandonment issues. Instead my father abused her to her grave- literally coz I was there and it’s only been 2 years since Mum died and I am still disgusted to my core at my father. I went no contact for my own mental heath, a week before M went to hospital to die. I moved very far away at 21, and that is how I learned to heal and not repeat the mistakes of the previous 3 generations of my mother’s family in marrying a psycho abuser. I know my Nan and Mum were very happy with my darling husband and knew I was finally safe- that my kids were safe.
@bmphil3400 5 ай бұрын
I have a friend whose father in law thought he was that but in reality he was a denier and would not protect the kids from the narc mother . I have figured out that if you can't stand up to your wife to protect your kids you are not a real man. He took a job as a long haul trucker so he was gone 5 days a week. Those 5 days the kids lived in hell.
@andrealudwig6754 11 ай бұрын
My mother stayed married to my horrible father. Because of that I divorced my narcissist!! I'd had enough. Single is much better!! From Greer SC ❤️
@mikekoch4151 10 ай бұрын
My dad too was a narcissist, but the situation was different. He didn't stray and stayed married to my mom until he died. We have a small business, and because he was good at what he did he thought he was perfect and thought he should run everything. He treated me like crap, but he carefully guarded it. That way if I told anybody they wouldn't believe me. He treated strangers good, but only because he didn't know what buttons to push. Once he knew he treated them like crap too. He wouldn't treat people like crap who might retaliate and kick his ass. He died when I was 35, and I never in my life ever heard him say I'm sorry to anyone, except one time when he apologized to somebody who he pissed off and was about to kill him. Apologizing to save your neck doesn't count because it isn't genuine. If I had it to do over I would have left right after high school. I hoped it would get better but it never did. My advice to anybody in a situation like this: get out if you can.
@MeherScholar Жыл бұрын
I love the closing thoughts in this video: Be the opposite of the narcissist. Be stable, be committed, discover yourself, know who YOU are.
@chelseacraft4669 Жыл бұрын
Except the narcissist, can’t make that choice because they lack an amygdala. It’s not about choosing to be a narcissist. Their amygdala was stunted during childhood and that’s how they are left without the ability to know right from wrong, or feel love or experience remorse. In fact, this guy’s father experienced remorse and felt love for his kid and regretted his mistakes. That’s not a narcissist. That is someone with low self-esteem, who acted like a narcissist to push people away. There’s a big difference. I wish people would take a psychology course so you know what you’re talking about.
@korenng5553 Жыл бұрын
That was the missing puzzle 🧩! I am total opposite of my siblings. Thks 👍
@onloveandsublimation4912 11 ай бұрын
Yes. Very powerful.
@dianagarrison3138 9 ай бұрын
@@chelseacraft4669 I believe the narcissist has as many opportunities to grow up as the rest of us, but that’s very painful, so they simply refuse. It’s a choice.
@chelseacraft4669 9 ай бұрын
@@dianagarrison3138 so you are challenging medical science, that the amygdala is the seat of human emotions and synapses are required to translate external stimuli into emotions in the brain. so if a person does not develop an amygdala during puberty they have no ability to process anything into emotions for anyone else, and they only have their base cortex survival instincts of glorifying the self, which you call narcissism. Maybe you should research the science behind what you’re talking about… because it’s physically impossible what you just said. Psychology 101 or college level child brain development that every teacher is supposed to have learned but apparently doesn’t…
@jessem8104 Жыл бұрын
The difference between a narcissist and those who have suffered ( we all suffer in life) is HUMILITY. “Humility is the one and only characteristic that no devil can imitate.”
@michaelmccormack494 Жыл бұрын
They cannot love either, Jesse. Hence their issues with themselves, which is what narcissism is. Others just stumble into their way. Humility, though: Yes! The humble retain their abilities to listen, to relate, to associate, communicate... all the beautiful events and capacities that make life wondrous!
@Miketar2424 Жыл бұрын
@@michaelmccormack494 Yes, They can't love anyone else because they have no love for themselves.
@Schixotica Жыл бұрын
I appreciate the sentiment but of course there’s false humility and false honesty
@donnahalsted7718 Жыл бұрын
@@Schixotica This is very true! It's the same sham they can put on for a very short while and take off briskly! Just a film of humility, or compassion like skim on a lake. Then they pull you under!
@jbrown2908 Жыл бұрын
Humility AND insight.
@JJ-rp2df 7 ай бұрын
Acknowledging parents as narcissists and their trauma inflicted is a painful yet important first step to healing.
@miapdx503 6 ай бұрын
My sadistic, narcissistic father threw me out into the street when I was 15. At 15 I was on my own. And because we moved around constantly, and were isolated from all other family, I had no one to turn to, no place to go. But my brother was doted on, could do no wrong. They made him weak, and I had no choice but to become tough. I was the youngest, the baby and the only girl. And they had more expectations of me than the three of them combined. Now I'm in my 60s and have survived them all. I have peace, and joy. And love...so much love. I created the family I always wanted. I had two sons, and went on to adopt two girls, both family members that fell into my lap. If I didn't take them they would be fed into the system. I was able to do everything for those children that wasn't done for me...I protected, and nurtured, and it was healing for all of us.
@GramCracker77 2 ай бұрын
That's WONDERFUL ❤
@jessicajohanna5849 Жыл бұрын
A lot of us who grew up with narcissistic parents don’t know who we are because we were never allowed to be ourselves. Never allowed to want what we wanted, told we should want something else, told we should want whatever they wanted instead of what we wanted and do what they want us to do instead of what we know in our hearts is right. The internal compass is so constantly gaslit and the internal code is written over with some kind of virus code that we constantly question our own ability to make decisions for ourselves and look to others to tell us what to do. We end up getting so off our true path we can’t get our way back on until much later. Likely your narcissistic dad also had a narcissistic dad and he grew up not being allowed to be himself and thus didn’t know himself because constantly sought validation and direction from other people in an absence of his identity being allowed to grow and develop in childhood. It’s a spiritual stunting.
@Susan-lf2hl 11 ай бұрын
Soul killing
@markgentry6688 11 ай бұрын
Exactly
@carolmaz8675 11 ай бұрын
Very well put xx
@prestonrobert2625 11 ай бұрын
Yes, 1950 to now pure hell.
@anthonythomas1504 11 ай бұрын
And in cases like mine it ends up trapped in the LGBT because we were looking for tender "daddy." I regret it because "the life" was never me. My libido was real but emotionally I felt unnatural. I felt lazy. Top or bottom, it just seemed wrong. I am so glad to have survived that loooooog "phase."
@SC-pe9ir Жыл бұрын
I cut off my narcissistic parents and have not looked back. The peace of not dealing with that is priceless. Remember, you are never obligated to deal with anyone negative even if they are family. When you do, you are actually depriving them of the opportunity to self reflect and learn their lesson
@beewest5704 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes cutting out toxic ppl can literally save your life.
@themaggattack Жыл бұрын
Not that they WILL self reflect and learn their lesson, mind you. They'll just make up their own narrative and blame you for everything. But at least you won't have to be there taking the brunt of it anymore.
@wavemanghee4252 Жыл бұрын
@@themaggattack agreed narcissists don’t regret anything ever. They will never learn there lesson. I had to run far away from my narcissistic family and never looked back. They’ll hate whether you stay or go. The only difference is that you don’t have to suffer anymore.
@lynnehayes5766 Жыл бұрын
I agree 👍💯👏
@QuartuvLarry Жыл бұрын
My father learned how to be insecure and second-guess himself from grandpa. As a result, he never took up many hobbies or interests to pass on to me. I never learned how to hunt nor fish, nor any other practical skill from him. Because he had little confidence of his own. I both resent and pity him for that, and I know I can’t get angry with him because he’s too old to go back and change anything from a lifetime of regret. My grandfather’s abuse was a multigenerational curse, and I don’t know who I should be either. And maybe it’s now too late to marry and have children
@SweetUniverse 7 ай бұрын
My narcissistic mother didn't say anything to me before she died because she wasn't speaking to me, which was typical
@matthewbrown8679 4 ай бұрын
First 4 years of my life I just thought that screaming at the top of their lungs was how parents talked to each other.
@dreamsofturtles1828 Жыл бұрын
My narcissistic mother gave me a great gift before she died : she told me she hated herself. It was like all the pieces began to fall into place ; the constant criticism , contempt, judgement- this was really everything she felt about HERSELF and she had been putting it all on me since childhood. It began the journey back to loving who i am. Im NOT a bad person. Im a good enough - and theres nothing inherently wrong with me. It changes everything.
@deltastarlight5111 Жыл бұрын
yeh, they do that hey. good you figured it out.
@SabrinaDacosta Жыл бұрын
She was probably raised without love and therefore felt like she was hated as a kid and internalized that. My mother is a narcissist too. She was raised in a highly dysfunctional environment
@dragonfly9209 Жыл бұрын
I have always heard it said...."What you criticize in other people--is really what you hate about yourself"
@justbeinghonest8523 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Condolences to you. I’m glad you recognize your worthiness loved one!
@justbeinghonest8523 Жыл бұрын
@@dragonfly9209 transference! The wise say an accusation is always an admission. And I believe it.
@oldsoul3733 Жыл бұрын
After 49 years of tolerating my narcissistic parents I finally walked away. I found out 2nd hand my father passed away a couple of years ago. No one bothered to tell me and afterwards it dawned on me that rather than reach out on his death bed to apologize he chose to die and say nothing. His shriveled mean heart didnt change right until his last breath. This was such a huge light bulb moment as I FINALLY got it A NARCISSIST WILL NEVER ADMIT THEY'RE WRONG OR APOLOGIZE. He chose to die full of hate and self pity. This is narcissism in its purest form. How sad for him. What a relief for me cos he can never hurt me again ❤
@supernova11711 Жыл бұрын
Why didn’t anyone tell you do you think? That seems odd. Unless the family has a lot of people…like him. That seems to happen a lot.
@teresafraser3049 Жыл бұрын
It's always a Narcassists deep regret after dieing because we have a life review soon after we cross over and shows us every detail of the life we just had along with how you made others feel which is shown by allowing them to feel how their toxic words and behaviors made them feel.
@teresafraser3049 Жыл бұрын
hopefully they will learn and do better the next incarnation and finally get it right.....being in service to oneanother vs working against the other
@christinerobinson9372 Жыл бұрын
They don't know. That is my only consolation. They never do realize what aholes they've been.
@supernova11711 Жыл бұрын
@@christinerobinson9372 They might not know that they have NPD but they definitely DO know they’re assholes.
@eLopesProductions 10 ай бұрын
As 41 yo father of 2 girls and the lights are finally coming on after being raised by a narc father I appreciate you sharing your story. It gives a voice to what I’ve struggled with for 41 years. I have a list of these singular moments where as a boy, man, we are needing just a drop of encouragement, love or recognition and the narc gives such a selfish and unthoughtful remark. We are left wounded and confused. Thanks for what you do and helping me take one step closer to finally breaking my trauma bond with my dad.
@DB-xm1oe 5 ай бұрын
I figured it out at about the same age as you.I am 57 now. My dad is as hollow a soul as there is. I feel sorry for him, but not enough to spend any more time with him. Your awakening to this will change your life for the better. Bless you, and the best of luck to you.
@annewatkis5824 11 ай бұрын
I was spending four hours with my mother, who was dying of cancer. She said “you will talk about me when I’m gone”. She was a great mum in terms of us looking clean, working hard at school etc. all which reflected well on her. She made one if my brothers the golden child, my poor sister was the scapegoat. Mum said she wasn’t as hard on me because I was born with a congenital eye condition. She said it was,of course, she that gave me that, she said. When my brother got I’ll, she was gutted that she hadn’t given him the heart condition from her family history. The thing to know, it’s NOT about you as a person. Narcissists only see life from THEIR perspective…..always. Let yourself if the hook. It wasn’t about you, you.
@alabama.worley 9 ай бұрын
My mother says this and other similarly strange phrases regularly. She talks about her mortality, and how people will/should react directly upon her death on a consistent basis. It's just another way to try to project shame, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy onto me. I literally don't respond. Her newest guilt projection is 'nobody loves me. You don't, he doesn't, and she never did.' I stay completely silent.
@misslora3896 7 ай бұрын
Wow, sounds very much like my fathers mother. She favored her oldest and especially youngest sons, they could do no wrong, but was terribly heartless and cruel to my father and especially her only daughter. Yet who was there careing for her the last year of her life? My father and his sister. It was too much of an interuption and inconvenience to the lives of her favored children. They had important traveling to do as they were both in their retirement. The youngest was busy traveling the US in an RV going to every NASCAR race around the country and wintering in Florida. While the oldest was busy traveling Europe. All while my dad and his sister thanklessly fed, bathed and wiped her ass until the end.
@rebeccacarlson9166 7 ай бұрын
@@misslora3896 Why werent you there for her ? If not to give your Aunt and Dad some respite?
@alabama.worley 7 ай бұрын
@@misslora3896 Use their lessons to teach you.
@jonrod8731 11 ай бұрын
Don't worry, your not the only one that was robbed of a father & son relationship. Not having much of a father in my life made me the best father EVER for my son !!! I am soooo happy !!!
@susankovach8927 11 ай бұрын
You need to understand what a blessing that is. The worst thing imaginable is my grandchildren being raised by a narcissist parent which their father is. It's frightening to think where this is headed.
@RexHrothgar1 11 ай бұрын
That’s fantastic! I applaud your efforts! Though I am aware that it will always be a challenge, I’m in a similar situation. Meaning that we ALL need to maintain our equilibrium and we ALL have our own shortcomings in which to deal with through life. This never ends. And there’s always times when we don’t cope so well and sometimes we just wish that we didn’t have to feel like we’re the only ones who try, and then keep trying anyway. Such is life. Stay strong and keep good people in your life and shun those who are destructive.
@Wendybird210 9 ай бұрын
Good for you 💖💖
@Wendybird210 9 ай бұрын
My narc mom's last words... I went to say I'm sorry if I was hard on you to raise (only because my aunt compelled me into it) and the only response from my mom was to continue staring at the ceiling and say, "I must be dying". Needless to say, I left.
@mvbigmagic4048 7 ай бұрын
@@Wendybird210 *HUGS*
@dumbass3770 Жыл бұрын
Narcissists are like a drug addict chasing the high. When the high goes away they move on to the next person that will give them a high. Getting their ego stroked. They don't care about the damage they leave behind. To avoid the guilt they blame others and deflect onto others never accepting fault.
@kimcarsons7036 Жыл бұрын
and being attached to a narcissist is also like being a drug addict
@Jethorus Жыл бұрын
@@kimcarsons7036 damn both of these comments are so true
@davidm4566 Жыл бұрын
@@kimcarsons7036 not always. Sometimes you just fall in love with them because you thought it was legit.
@kimcarsons7036 Жыл бұрын
Sure. It can still feel legit. And probably was for you. Doesn't cancel out the addictive component. All the statements become true.
@sakesaurus Жыл бұрын
really it's just a coping mechanism
@Mezbourian 11 ай бұрын
My narcissistic mother, and she is a classic case, ONLY knows herself, but in a superficial way. When I was in therapy to better deal with her, I remember telling the therapist she is simultaneously incredibly self-absorbed and totally unselfish aware. Which I guess is about not knowing who you are, like this gentleman's father. She has no idea who my father was or who her two daughters are. She thinks she knows us but she only knows the preconceptions she has developed about us. And a lot of it is projection.
@BlackthornBetty 11 ай бұрын
Both my parents are narcissists. It ruined my life for so many years. I'm so sorry you had to deal with a narcissistic parent too.
@annettemoolman6504 Жыл бұрын
Your dad left an awesome son, named Kevin. Thank you so much for the video!
@criticaljacques2237 11 ай бұрын
Dad had to have done at least one of two things right...
@ig00g1e 7 ай бұрын
well said
@undercoveragent9889 6 ай бұрын
You don't recognize a Narcissist when you see one, do you? Why is it that Kevin talks only about himself and what _he_ wants and feels? I've met Narcs before and there is a pattern: everything in their past has been designed to cause them pain. And abusive spouse; an abusive parent; abusive siblings... They tell you when you first meet them that they are innocent victims of life as they denounce their own families in order to garner sympathy. A bit like Kevin. What kind of insecure PoS uses pictures of his own parents in order to co-opt your hatred for them? Here's a picture of my dad; he was a right b'stard... Kevin is a user and he has found a source in you.
@annettemoolman6504 6 ай бұрын
You might be right. Maybe not? Trauma does horrible things to people. Be careful. Once you start dissecting a narcissist, you might become one yourself.
@undercoveragent9889 6 ай бұрын
@@annettemoolman6504 Well, this channel would appeal to those who have been traumatized in the same way that lost and confused people go for Tarot Card readings or consultations with a medium or spiritualist. Decent people write one good book that contains the information you are looking for. Why is Kevin writing the same book every week and changing only the title to give the impression that he has released a new book? (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) If you _really_ need help, go make some good friends who are prepared to be honest with you. This guy is not your friend.
@danvers2022 Жыл бұрын
What you have said is absolutely true. I was married to a textbook narcissist. There is complete lack of introspection.
@ghostqueen2082 8 ай бұрын
Zero accountability & pathological liars the trademark of a psychopath...
@deezelfairy 6 ай бұрын
They are not capable of introspection because that would involve challenging their grandiose vision of themselves. Narcs have huge, but incredibly fragile egos. They are among the mentally weakest groups of people in our society.
@lonnamercier7833 8 ай бұрын
God deposits in our hearts that he wants us to break the cycle of abuse.
@colleenc236 6 ай бұрын
My Narc dad just before he died told me he was sorry for not being a better father and asked me to forgive him 🥹 That's all I needed to forgive him 😔
@marshaaudrina001joe 6 ай бұрын
That's good he asked for that❤
@DB-xm1oe 5 ай бұрын
That should not get him off the hook, a simple apology. If he was a POS, then he was a POS.
@vkrgfan 5 ай бұрын
Mine as well, however, he was a believer I think he was more worried about going to hell than cared about my forgiveness all that much.
@colleenc236 5 ай бұрын
@@vkrgfan I'm hoping my dad was becoming or became a believer and that's why he was sorry and wanted my forgiveness. I pray so! I'd love to be surprised when I get to heaven and he's there! I think things happened to him that made him the way he was 🥹 I'm not totally excusing him, because we all can change! But, he must have had an inner struggle that I was to young to understand. He died when I was only 15 😢
@vkrgfan 5 ай бұрын
@@colleenc236 Sorry, I'm not a believer. I'm an atheist and I believe you have to treat people right here on earth, not after our death. After our death we decompose and become Earth, so far there is no evidence of any god. Therefore, we have to educate people about abuse while they are still alive so they can stand up for themselves and hold abusers accountable.
@jakkimanzitti5031 Жыл бұрын
My father's last words to my mother were unspeakable horrible words. I grew up hearing this kind of talk all my life. Really was devastated knowing it was how he chose to speak to my mom one last time. Yes, I was in their living room with him angrily looking at both of us. Narcissists never stop believing they are the victims.
@Bombabingbong66 Жыл бұрын
That is absolutely horrific. It's like a horror film. My Dad was like that often and violent but only when he drank Whiskey which was regularly. BUT when he died from Cancer he had not drunk alcohol for months. He died surrounded by me and my Mum n my sister who he had abused all our lives but we knew the real man without alcohol who we loved. If my father had died being abusive I don't know how I cd have processed that. I pray you live in Peace and can forgive him. I pray your lives will be full of kindness and Love from now on. 🧡💫🦚
@sylvie9256 Жыл бұрын
The Narcissist I used to date when years after the breakup I texted him condolences for his mother’s death he texted back .. “she served her purpose.” Wtf Puts perspective on his outlook.
@Lauren-vd4qe Жыл бұрын
did u confront him and demand he stop? I would have, regardless of his response/
@nw3949 Жыл бұрын
@@sylvie9256 Yikes
@NoName-oy2km Жыл бұрын
That's not cool. Sorry you went through that. I hope you are doing well. And not having narcissist in your life.
@teslinjoe5938 Жыл бұрын
Mine passed one week after finally receiving his cancer diagnosis. I sat with him at his home just a few hours before his passing -- his last words to me were "I love you, kiddo." That's all I ever really wanted to hear from him my whole life. I had already forgiven him and my only desire was that he would come to Christ before he passed.
@rhighan4357 Жыл бұрын
God bless you. I am so glad you have Jesus.
@right..5651 Жыл бұрын
Amen ❤️🙏🏿✝️
@anima6035 Жыл бұрын
You're so lucky, not to diminish your troubles in the past but at least you have that ❤️ I wish my mum had left me with some kind words but unfortunately not. Hold on to it x
@1timeslime971 Жыл бұрын
Now THIS is a wonderful testimony.
@seniorita3287 Жыл бұрын
My Dad is 87, he has never told me he loves me
@colleen6050 5 ай бұрын
My ex-narc husband knew he had a personality disorder. He said to me one afternoon. "My problems run too deep. I don't feel unless you feel". That chilling direct quote from his empty soul left me speechless. He will likely say the same thing on his deathbed. "I never knew myself".
@sleepinglioness5754 11 ай бұрын
My Grandmother said to my Father, as he lay dying in the hospital bed: 'how can you do this to me?'. Interestingly, my sister doesn't realize she is just like our Grandmother.
@HopeinJesus1987 8 ай бұрын
😢
@isee9273 Жыл бұрын
From extensive experience, I think the common denominator within narcissists, is that they do not take responsibility. My ex had a stable career. He kept total control of our sons, two of whom killed themselves i. The past two years. Not all narcissistic people manifest their lives in the way your father did. But they do all blame others for their own bad behaviour and failures.
@Dbb27 Жыл бұрын
So very sorry for the loss of your sons. May you find comfort.
@Rainbowdancefactory Жыл бұрын
As a eldest child my family lost 3 siblings due to illness. I recall how comforting it was to firmly believe that their journey has ended and all was achieved in their short lives. And that it was our lesson to learn just how perfect they were in their coming and going. How to seek their purpose and believe and truly know this for your sons??? Wishing you well with all my heart ❤️
@Magamomma22245 11 ай бұрын
God bless you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
@dawnvickerstaff9148 Жыл бұрын
I was wife number one and my daughter was born at the end of 1968. You could have been describing her father. I think it was the 'era' partly but it was also the need to be 'fed'. I lost the ability to adore him before we were married and still went ahead. He punished me for that. But what was I to know? Both my mother and stepfather were narcissistic. It's all that I knew. Since then I've learned how to own my own feelings, how to recognize what is foreign to my understanding of the situation, how to love myself and to a degree, heal myself. I will soon be 73. I've worked so hard for so long. My reward is the best most loving man to whom I have now been married to for nearly 9 years. It's never too late.
@themoontoonshines923 Жыл бұрын
Blessed be every second of peace, tranquility and happiness. I was married to one for 16 years… the misery that somehow he managed to bring about unexpectedly, without any need, just because….. regardless of being loved, tolerated, cared for. Reading your words give me hope. Perhaps I will get lucky and find real love. Thank you for sharing! Smile!
@artandculture5262 Жыл бұрын
Congratulations. Truly great.
@rhighan4357 Жыл бұрын
God bless you and your husband. I pray I get married to someone loving in life as I am 42. This encouraged me!
@vintage6346 Жыл бұрын
I'm so glad that you found a loving husband, Dawn. I still believe in love, though I was married to a narcissist for decades,... and of course, didn't get to experience love from him.
@rzella8022 Жыл бұрын
Happy for you!
@lastjob2011 11 ай бұрын
A child star recently wrote a book. I gasped at the title, but as I watched her on interviews promoting the book, I undrrstood. "I'm Glad My Mom Died.' Wow. How sad. I think she was 20 when her mom died from cancer. But her mom's death, was the only thing that freed her from the abusive hold.
@MadonnaGrogan 5 ай бұрын
More common than people know
@allheartandsong 9 ай бұрын
My mom admitted two years ago that she doesn't want to accept love, but has so many times cried out saying I don't love her. I have always shown her so much love with words, gifts, time, action and asking to spend time together. She is broken and has broken my family relationships.
@interestinglyenough7601 6 ай бұрын
She CAN'T accept love.
@janetmalcolm6191 5 ай бұрын
@@interestinglyenough7601that seems absolutely to be true. The person they should show the most love to such as husband or the children they just can't. In their eyes it is like a weakness.
@lauraunderwoodlmt4955 Жыл бұрын
My dads last words that revealed him were…”I look at people assets or non assets.” He was a horrible father and person. I healed a long time ago but now helping my brother. He was most affected. My dad died broke and alone. He was cruel and hateful to anyone who didn’t play his game. 4 people came to his short goodbye in a church and I wasn’t one of them. He was buried with no ceremony or people around. The last words he spoke to me were extremely hurtful. I had flown 2500 miles to help him and he attacked me and disappeared until an aunt got word from a random person that he was in hospice. It’s a long story and full of hateful behavior but I know it’s possible to live a happy life despite these people.
@silviac221 Жыл бұрын
My sisters and I did help my father when he got sick and died. It was 3 months, and we only did what was necessary for someone else to take care of him. We also went to his funeral. I still think we were too generous. Of course, his death was a relief we were waiting for so he's not missed at all.
@tracesprite6078 Жыл бұрын
What a miracle that you are a caring person despite having a father like that.
@mqua4610 Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry you had this father. I hope you have kind and loving people surround you. You deserve good people around you. I was a hospice nurse and took care of a man who was a nasty person and narcissist. His poor wife got stuck with him when he was kicked out of three nursing homes. The last time he bit a nurse when she was taking his blood pressure. Long story short: I could see right through his motives and knew exactly how to calm him down. But the experience was an eye opener into the mind of an aged cruel person. Even though his children lived 5 miles away, they never visited.
@Jethorus Жыл бұрын
Just so I understand, he looks at people as assets or non-assets? Or he looked at their assets and non-assets?
@tracesprite6078 Жыл бұрын
@@mqua4610 How did you calm him down?
@AngCJ-18444 Жыл бұрын
Nothing is ever enough for a narcissist. It has NOTHING to do with you. I am sorry you experienced that growing up and that your mother did too. It's a horrible lesson to learn and experience but it does teach you a lot and allows you to help others which you are doing, right now. Thank you for sharing
@sergiogarciamartinez7470 Жыл бұрын
is very sad
@domingorodriguez3077 11 ай бұрын
true narcissism is a defense mechanism, it helps to understand that they come from a place of feeling small/inferior. not saying you should feel sorry for them but that's the truth, you can see them for what they are
@AngCJ-18444 11 ай бұрын
@@domingorodriguez3077 no no, I stayed for 13 yrs of trying to understand the little boy i could intuitively see was damaged. It's not my trauma to heal, that's his and he never chose to take responsibility to heal it for himself. Worrying about their trauma is how so many nice people stay too long. I divorced him him 2017 then found out he hit and emotionally abused one of our daughters on his weeks then i took him to court. What helps is leaving, getting EMDR/ trauma therapy and exposing them so they know you mean business and won't accept their behaviour. He now teaches " kundalini meditations" and is posing as a spiritual teacher with groups of women. They never learn or change they just find new nice vulnerable people as supply to leach life and empathy from to fill their black hole souls.
@sergiogarciamartinez7470 11 ай бұрын
@@domingorodriguez3077 so they feel inferior inside ?
@domingorodriguez3077 11 ай бұрын
@@sergiogarciamartinez7470 yes, they lack self esteem so they demand others validate them all the time and will lose their shit if you don't. they're very fragile people and can't face themselves
@hilariecalijo4643 8 ай бұрын
My mother’s last words to me were, “you turned out good, because of me, I was a great mother!”
@ricovelas 7 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry yo. I can see my mom saying something similar and on one hand I’d be hurt but on the other I wouldn’t be surprised either. I do hope you were able to heal and feel a bit better after her passing.
@Padraigp 6 ай бұрын
Wow I have two great kids and they're great despite me ..I did so little just fed em houses em cleaned and scrubbed for em... I did the best I knew how on my own but how they came to be so smart and wise. That's all them.
@suzanne529 6 ай бұрын
@@Padraigp Same here.... It sounds like you also Loved them!
@oppressednolonger1497 5 ай бұрын
TG you were not a narc to them, if anything it will truly mean something in the afterlife, even just the being there if you werent given the tools. just quielty loving them and being there. It really will. blessings
@Padraigp 5 ай бұрын
@oppressednolonger1497 it is aweful that some people can't even muster love and respect for their own kids achievements. Thanks!
@StingraySativaCo 11 ай бұрын
I’d give anything to have had my dad abandon me instead of causing 18 years of hell
@catherinewilson1079 Жыл бұрын
A true narcissist is a broken empty person. This is what I learned from 23 years living with a narcissist.
@sailingaeolus Жыл бұрын
I would go so far as to say "demonically possessed". There's not a human being in there. They are some other thing, some other species.
@meelodeshmeeelo2034 Жыл бұрын
I have found that to be true barring one - my mother in law. I won’t bore you with the story suffice to say that we finally found out the extent, the staggering extent, to which we had ALL.been conned by her when she had a stroke last year and entered residential care at the age of 86. My point being she was most definitely not damaged or weak or any of the traits common in narcissists.
@julianndavis9415 Жыл бұрын
I was going to comment the same thing. After 22 yrs of marriage I can look back and see clearly what was happening. He needed to break down everything about me that HE didn’t have. Apparently he’s empty inside and his attacks on me were attempts to fill the void. But I’m still me. And he’s still broken. I got away.
@catherinewilson1079 Жыл бұрын
@@julianndavis9415 I can’t help but wonder, after 22 years, how long did it take you to heal, ie return to normal???
@julianndavis9415 Жыл бұрын
@@catherinewilson1079 I’m not healed. But I’ve got a therapist who is very experienced with survivors of narcissistic abuse.
@iamanempoweredone6064 11 ай бұрын
At 68 I finally am beginning to know myself… mostly because of the things that I have suffered and learning how to live. Love doesn’t just happen. Love is a choice. Some people are easier to love than others.
@irismustbloom 11 ай бұрын
❤
@bunnyboonot4u 9 ай бұрын
I'm finding it really difficult to love my covert narcissist cousin that's living with my family.💔. My mom, dad and my brother don't see it. But I do.😠
@fredneecher1746 7 ай бұрын
Love is NOT a choice. Love happens, or it doesn't. Love happens despite yourself. You just have to recognise it.
@iamanempoweredone6064 7 ай бұрын
@@fredneecher1746, in the scriptures God commanded husbands to love their wives even as Christ loved gave himself to the church it’s a commandment. It is a moral choice.
@christinepizzi6197 7 ай бұрын
@@fredneecher1746Another man telling a woman what is what....hey Fred, go do something manly...big boy. JERK
@steveellington8313 5 ай бұрын
My narcissistic abusive father showed me how to not be like him so I hugged my children every day
@barbaralynch3015 5 ай бұрын
Yes! They can be role models in a reverse way. I too, learned how NOT to be with my children!
@patriciamurfitt4590 7 ай бұрын
One of the things that helped me more than anything, was group therapy. My father was an alcoholic and our world revolved around him. After hearing other stories, I realized that our family was pretty great. Even with all the dysfunction, I was not really abused, never went hungry, never molested etc... It helped me a lot to see that for myself and understand that they did the best that they were able to at the time. Forgiveness is a must.
@Me-mn4nw 7 ай бұрын
You were very lucky. I suffered from numerous abuses. Everything from mom forcing alcohol down my throat before handing me off to my abusive incestious father. Mom would withhold food from me along with the basics. I ran for my life many a time as dad beat and fired off guns. Good times! Great holiday memories!
@dcg590 7 ай бұрын
Never abused, never hungry or sexually abused, you mean the bare minimum? Everything you just said is how it’s supposed to be, not even to be mentioned. Should be assumed. That’s how far society has fallen
@danielduesentriebjunior 11 ай бұрын
Makes sense what you say. I wasted 19 years of my life with a narcissistic girlfriend (daughter of a narcist father who was a nightmare). She was constantly seeking the attention of other men. I came out of this relationship with serious depression and a alcohol problem. Later I married a good woman, and I am ok now.
@BrittJoshua24-15 8 ай бұрын
I hope this happens for my son. 😢
@hollyclough6761 7 ай бұрын
Maybe working on internal happiness would help? Not relying on other people to make/break happiness? If not you're playing the narc game. Unfortunately even the victim won't make it out if they don't take responsibility (if they don't the narc will). Stop blaming, we all have choices (minus children). I mean that in an impowering way (a victim cant leave, they have no choice but decide you're not one, then you can choose to leave). We can trap ourselves because we're convinced we're powerless but that's not true (exactly what the narc wants us to think) be the opposite!
@roryasrorri701 6 ай бұрын
am happy for both of you
@karadiberlino 6 ай бұрын
@@hollyclough6761Well said! 👏🏼
@marshaaudrina001joe 6 ай бұрын
I'm happy for you!
@tball5677 Жыл бұрын
My narc father died alone. Him dieing was the best thing he ever did for me and my mom. The sad thing is he didnt do it 40 years sooner
@lynnehayes5766 Жыл бұрын
Agreed. I get that!!
@jwinnlian9430 Жыл бұрын
Im sorry you went through that. I pray for yours and everyone here that they may heal in Jesus name. God bless.
@rahmasamir909 Жыл бұрын
My dad left home at 70 years old he was covert narssist porn addicted thanks God he left
@DistinctiveThinking 11 ай бұрын
"I never knew myself" Wow! Could not have been more honest then those words. In my study of narcissist disorder this seems to be a classic reality. The creation of a false self from a very young age. My own son said out loud when his first son was born. "I will never make you my slave" I thought those words powerfully true in his relationship with a narcissist father.
@FlavioMarceloSousa35 10 ай бұрын
If the father is weak, the entire family is doomed. I don't care what feminists say, it's the father who's in charge and if he isn't in charge, problems will arise.
@karamlevi 3 күн бұрын
Statistics prove this. Look up single mom children crime statistics.
@Joe-kb1sm Жыл бұрын
Growing up, I knew my Father was a strong man. His arms had the muscles of a Master Plumber, those 3 foot cast iron pipe wrenches were heavy. He always had time for me, and often took me fishing, camping, hunting, and taught me everything. He loved me. Thanks Dad, I turned out OK. Grateful.
@mr.makedonija2627 Жыл бұрын
Glad you had a great father bro. I didn't have one. And it sucked
@harpsailorharp6716gg Жыл бұрын
lucky u ...most of us watching this have not had that
@vvampcat Жыл бұрын
you are so fortunate in that it is nice to hear of people who had normal relationships.
@remaininganonymous4129 Жыл бұрын
Awww how lovely to read this. You sound so proud of him and its lovely to see you had a father who cared. There is hope.
@CampfireFiction1010 Жыл бұрын
B*tch! I'm jealous. Just kidding. That's beautiful. lol
@valariesullivan9691 Жыл бұрын
I walked away from my Narcissistic mother 2 years ago. I don't hate her for things she said and did to me as I was growing up but you can't fix a toxic relationship with a person who is never wrong and won't change. You can't bring new energy into the same ongoing situation. God Bless you all ❤️
@Xpeewdy Жыл бұрын
😢 true that ..sad part lm out by my siblings are still with her ..it does not sitt well with me at all
@IndianOutlaw1870 Жыл бұрын
My mother is the same. Never wrong, never at fault, unwilling to change in any way, won't take responsibility for her actions. Oh, she's 86.
@valariesullivan9691 Жыл бұрын
@@IndianOutlaw1870 Same!SAME!! Right there with ya!! ❤️
@deborahalden5312 Жыл бұрын
I feel for you i was pretty much the same she could never say sorry.
@cindylutz7442 Жыл бұрын
I grew up with a narcissistic dad, and now my son has been married for 12 years to someone who might be my dad's equal, just not as physically strong so not as capable of physical damage. (She did blacken his eye with a shoe, though. I asked him then, if he'd done that to her, what would've happened? He said he'd've at least spent the night in jail. So is it okay for her to do it to you? No. But he loves her and is committed and I'm sure she also has her charms, maybe they get to do the honeymoon thing over and over? It's not boring?) Anyway he hasn't spoken to me now for close to two years; covid and things messed with a lot of relationships, but I knew without his telling me that it was "for her sake". This week I made an attempt to reach out, just got a health diagnosis that isn't fatal or anything, but just catapulted me into "old age" and you really don't know, ever, how many days you'll have. She responded, and in the space of three short texts, I realized--maybe this wasn't my son's intent, maybe it was--he isn't protecting her from me, he's protecting me from her. And I have to let them go, probably will never have a relationship with him again as long as he's with her. I don't THINK she'll kill him.... 😞
@mirriamvalentin8634 7 ай бұрын
Here AND Now. I'm just going to be myself and let all my ill feelings in God's hands because He knows how to help me. I'm tired of hurting because of my parents and or my past and current issues. I know the doors will open. I need to change my ❤🙏
@atis9061 11 ай бұрын
Your father was quite good-looking and you were the cutest little boy! I'll pray for you both in hope that you can find forgiveness. That is the challenge that life gives us. That's when we turn into heroes.
@wenchyfoodwench4098 Жыл бұрын
It’s sad but when my narcissistic father died, while there were good times he was a raging manipulator and narc….so It was a total relief. I had issues for a while mainly out of the guilt I felt for being relieved and not sad that he was gone. I’ve since realized it’s normal to feel that way 😀
@michaelnurse9089 Жыл бұрын
I remember a feeling of relief when I got the call. Other family too.
@Medietos Жыл бұрын
Where there never any good, humane moments with him for you at all? Did he ever still make a fatherly gesture, sopport you by earning money from work, mend things? Or have some ideals? If not, I am so sad for your sake and hope you got support and love in other qays. How did you survive? Was your mother more present and able to love you? Mine has good and admirable sides besides the abusive, sick and traumatized ones. But I am torm apart between my need to learn real self-care and self-healing (have been abused instead of helped professionally), but it's hard to leave her alone , old, sick, lost and not gettingvthe help she needs. But that deeply caring AND wise professional has to be attracted by practising very much positiveity, cell phone radiation (and even TV) has change humans for the worse without us noticing. I grieve the relationship I never had with mine, never really getting to know each other. Feeling a failure for us not fulfilling what we could have created together. But we have tpo try to build our own lives and learn frome xperience. And not become fearful, resentful and bitter... :-)
@wenchyfoodwench4098 Жыл бұрын
@@Medietos thank you. There were good moments. Many times where he was awesome , it was a love hate thing. He got worse as he got old. There was also the issue of my older sister being enabled and the golden one. We had a complicated relationship for sure. In many ways he seemed like a tuned in father but also too tuned in and if you didn’t do what he wanted you to he could be mean…. Harassing and all that fun. But I try to think about the good times. But favoritism (undeserved) and the other things really leave emotional scars. And no matter what I did it always could have been done better, even things he knew nothing about. I finally stopped caring if I had his approval. But I have a great life. Cheers
@darrellmcknight8326 Жыл бұрын
I agree what happened to was what o delt with. I never knew how he would be I was walking on eggshells when he was coming through the front door of the house I mast the time would hide till I was to eat supper he would find and start abusing me with his hand or belt all I did was hide
@wenchyfoodwench4098 Жыл бұрын
@@darrellmcknight8326 I’m so sorry you experienced that!
@Nina-vv3ev Жыл бұрын
There’s no such thing as quality time with a narcissist lol…
@davidm4566 Жыл бұрын
People still love them because they are our parents, siblings, spouses, etc. Even though they treat us bad, there are those moments when it's good and we hope that things have changed. We are capable of love and do legitimately still love them.
@RonSafreed Жыл бұрын
Tell me about it!! Dad lets go fishing, no because football/basketball/baseball/boxing/car racing/tennis/golf on tv!!
@phyrr2 Жыл бұрын
Maybe not directly, but they can be effective (still dicks, but effective) in building and leading groups. In which case, many of us benefit from their leadership in ALL thingd (govt, companies, community). It's proven that psychos, socios and narcs rise to rule (less compunction and no self policing). We'd be better with normals & empaths would be better but they mostly lose in the fight to the top, just the way it is. But just the same, if you can think of anything organization you enjoyed being part of, chances are it was led by one of the 3 irregular personalities mentioned. So we indirectly get quality time from them, namely under what they run and socializing with others in that organization).
@lovestolaugh Жыл бұрын
I've come to learn that...makes me sad because that's my #1 Love Language...Quality Time...and He doesn't know how to do that.
@vvvvel Жыл бұрын
Feels like a betrayal such it is
@vickitrotter8025 10 ай бұрын
Self reflection is something that is sadly lacking in many people. Also, I had to dig deeply into my father's life to see why he was abusive, wouldnt support his family, ran to others to find validation. His Father treated him terribly, my Dad was probably AD/HD and this led to his skewed behavior and inability to be the husband and Father he should have been. Very sad. I am grateful I was able to forgive him and be there for him in his last days.
@keile513 7 ай бұрын
It’s a terrible thing to grow up invisible. Especially when others are visible. Very confusing years.
@lzal9204 Жыл бұрын
My ex husband is a narcissist and the interesting thing is that our problems really started after our son was born. He was no longer the center of the universe and his son was getting all the attention. He would get mad when I would breastfeed the baby. It was incredible to see and horrible at the same time. That was when I knew I was in trouble. I don’t regret the relationship because my son is wonderful. But that period of time until the divorce was awful. I used to say, “I gave birth to one baby and got two.”
@banana9106 Жыл бұрын
That is pretty much what happened to me as well. Mine started to have an online affair when our son was 5 months old and he left us when our son was barely 10 moths old. His affair did not translate to real life. He went on to marry a woman with 4 kids, but those kids were in another country. Then back in June 2015 they had 2 of the children to live with them. He went on to have s3x with his 15 year old step daughter and only got away with it because the terrified girl withdrew her police statements and fled the country. We are both better off without them.
@milumav Жыл бұрын
That's absolutely horrible, but it's entirely different when you are born into a family infected with a narcissist you cannot escape, they are there from your first breath, destroying your self-worth, confidence, innate potential, your stability, gaslighting you, sabotaging you, humiliating you, diminishing your innate talent and dismissing your accomplishments, amplifying your mistakes and broadcasting your failures, bashing and reducing you to your sibling(s) to ensure no love or emotional bond b/w you is possible, poisoning everyone's ear about you before they meet you, working tirelessly to set you up for failure and misery, throughout your entire formative years. How does that damage ever get undone, how does that person ever grow up to become a confident productive member of society, reach their full potential and go on to self-actualize? Is it even possible.
@iwishitwassnowing1638 Жыл бұрын
@@milumav Hi there, just to share that I was born into the situation you described in your comment. When I was 5, in exchange for not killing myself, I told God (Yahweh) that I would put up with anything as long as He had a purpose for my life. God responded by telling me , "Of course I have a purpose for you." I could feel Him smiling as He said it almost dismissively, as if He always knew I was going to ask and He had everything mapped out already. So, to answer your question, Yes, victory is possible. The journey to victory may be long and difficult, but "long and difficult" is not the same is"impossible" ."The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (Luke 18:27 NKJV); "with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26 NKJV). Isaiah 54:11-17 (The Message Version): You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness, far from any trouble-nothing to fear! far from terror-it won’t even come close! If anyone attacks you, don’t for a moment suppose that I sent them, And if any should attack, nothing will come of it. I create the blacksmith who fires up his forge and makes a weapon designed to kill. I also create the destroyer- but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged. Any accuser who takes you to court will be dismissed as a liar. This is what God’s servants can expect. I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.” God’s Decree. Isaiah 49:24-26 (The Message Version): "Can plunder be retrieved from a giant, prisoners of war gotten back from a tyrant? But God says, “Even if a giant grips the plunder and a tyrant holds my people prisoner, I’m the one who’s on your side, defending your cause, rescuing your children. And your enemies, crazed and desperate, will turn on themselves, killing each other in a frenzy of self-destruction. Then everyone will know that I, God, have saved you-I, the Mighty One of Jacob."
@totogogocc5526 Жыл бұрын
that's weird. my husband was so happy when I had our son. . we had been married during Nam.I became Navy wife. it all was bad. he ended up aw-ol. . recovered from that!. he drank a lot. moved alot. had a baby girl. 4 yrs later, our son., he ran off with a female, floosy ,I'll say, with her new baby & little boy.!! he wanted his son. after I survived years no support from him. he tried to get custody in courts. but No. so he was mad & stole them from me.. . threatened to take to Canada I'd never see them again.authorities backed off.took time, I got them bak. he passed away few years after.. but my son was devastated!!!! Still is. it's tore us up.. he sort a blames me!!! all I wanted was my kids to be happy. not mentally & emotionally hurt.
@Fairyviewroad Жыл бұрын
Same
@LOTW1 Жыл бұрын
Man, I read the comments and my heart breaks for ya'll and at the same time I feel so grateful. My father passed away in August and his last words to me were "I love you". He said that he loved me countless of times. But it was like he knew he needed to say it one more time before he passed. No person is perfect, but my dad was perfect to me. I learned what real love is thanks to my parents. They spent 62 years together. Love never dies. I love you Dad.
@GlamourBella Жыл бұрын
This is so beautiful and makes me very happy to hear this. God bless you and your family. R.I.P to your Dad ❤
@LOTW1 Жыл бұрын
@@GlamourBella , just read your response. Sorry it took me a while. Thank you for your kind words.
@perlitalaguna6622 Жыл бұрын
@NefariousZ awww that's so sweet! You are very lucky to have had a loving father. I, too have amazing parents. They weren't perfect but I felt loved. They showed me what a real loving relationship is supposed to be about. I dated a narcasstic man because he reminded me of my father, thru his love of classic rock music, guitar playing, a goofy sense of humor. They even looked similar with their big noses, receding hairline, and lanky build. And so I put my ex on a pedestal....dumb I know.
@luciatheron1621 Жыл бұрын
@Susel my thoughts exactly.
@JudyBarrette Жыл бұрын
@Susel Yes! I wonder what draw you to watching this video. If there are no narcissists in your life, why bother.
@feelingbetternaturally1099 5 ай бұрын
It makes me extremely happy every time I remember my narc mother is no longer breathing or exuding evil.
@jvo444 10 ай бұрын
I begged my dad to tell me he loved me. My whole life. I said it to him all the time hoping one day to get it back. On his death bed, I said, “Dad, I love you.” and yet he still would never say it back.
@naydee 6 ай бұрын
Wow. I am so sorry. That’s a level of awful mental illness. Nobody deserves that type of withholding of loving affirmation from a parent.
@DB-xm1oe 5 ай бұрын
At least he didnt give you an insincere "I love you." I hear that BS all the time. Hollow words from a hollow soul.
@defeatignorance8681 4 ай бұрын
Sounds to me like he respected you too much to lie to you. Many narcissistic personalities have other issues that make them unable to feel love. He "loved" you in his own way but not the way you loved him and that is likely why he wouldn't lie to you.
@iamhere3442 Жыл бұрын
My mother’s last words to me before she died, she touched my purse and said “what do you have in there, bricks?” Me, “ yes, mama, bricks.” She always found something to criticize me for. 😐
@lukebrindax7465 Жыл бұрын
😆!!! I'm sorry to laugh, but she sounds exactly like my demon mother. That's absolutely insanity... I hope you are healing and are in a better place. These psychopathic demons are just.... beyond understanding. Their entire lives, all they wanted was to "one up" someone else, but in the end, all they did was alienate themselves from everyone else, while blaming everyone else for the reason why they are alone. You should have told her they were gold bricks, that's how you roll. Pay for everything by breaking off a little piece of gold. Have a great day.
@benjammen7041 Жыл бұрын
My mom's last words to me were that I'm a bad person and should go to prison and die there. I shouldn't be in society
@brotheramos1613 Жыл бұрын
@@benjammen7041 Oh no..... I am sorry that this was said to you...Pfff. I am afraid for the last words of my egotistic, egocentric and negative mother towards us, the children...This has been bothering me for almost 17 years now..
@mrsimo7144 Жыл бұрын
@@benjammen7041 thoughts are with you. That's just brutal. You're amazing. ❤️
@silviac221 Жыл бұрын
@@benjammen7041 That's called projection. Don't even think about it again.
@xotleti 11 ай бұрын
This is really interesting. What shocked me the most about my narcissist ex boyfriend is that he tried a lot to manipulate me just to keep me liking him, but when he noticed I was fed up with his lies and insensitivity, he immediately stopped fighting for the relationship. I told him that I was unhappy, but we still had years of history together and I wanted to keep being friends with him at least, and that's when he turned his back without any regret. He didn't want to question himself, not even for a moment, to fit in my expectations. He had no respect for our history together, everything that we shared. As the time passed and I started to better understand him, I realized WE didn't really share anything, I was alone all the time. It's been almost 7 years from that moment and I'm still trying to heal.
@kathymcmc 11 ай бұрын
I'm proud of you for being honest.
@irielion3748 10 ай бұрын
It shouldn't take that long to heal. Reach out to experienced professionals.
@loveislove4879 6 ай бұрын
Our experiences are exactly the same, wow! There it is spelled out perfectly and it's identical. Ty for that.
@mallariculp3551 6 ай бұрын
You haven’t healed because you have not realized your own value. This man made you totally reliant on the value he assigned to you, and then you weren’t even worth that to him. You can’t accept that he devalued you after allowing you to believe you deserved the little he gave you. You need to figure out your true worth, set boundaries and do not accept inferior treatment. That’s when he will be a distant memory… a mistake you won’t want to remember. 😊. Godspeed.
@mingmong007 6 ай бұрын
There are no 'shoulds'@@irielion3748
@mtg2063 4 ай бұрын
Kevin, this video made me cry so hard that I couldnt think of any description of this person as a “demon”
@debbier9555 6 ай бұрын
My dear close friend of 32 years suddenly, it seem overnight, changed into a narcissist after his mother died and he received his $1.3 million dollar inheritance. At first we thought it was the stress and loss of his mother but, as his behavior became more selfish and arrogant, we realized it probably was gaining the large sum of inheritance as he lived his new 'rock star' lifestyle. The first hint was when we questioned his outlandish behaviors, thinking he was 'entertaining' us and he said, "No. I do whatever I want, however want, whenever I want... Regardless who's around!" Absolute disrespect and disregard in how he was stressing out those around him. It's still shocking how dramatically he changed overnight from the 32 years of knowing him. He's 59.
@doremefasolateeda Жыл бұрын
The last words my narcissist dad said to me before he died was "I love you baby"...come to find out he left everything to a stranger that he met six months earlier..that he promised to me for taking care of him for five years...i had no life for five years...just took care of my dad.
@autumxxleaves4186 Жыл бұрын
That’s so cruel, hope your doing well x
@insight9354 Жыл бұрын
such a sorry thing to do to you
@xhaltsalute Жыл бұрын
I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Hugs.
@martinfoy9327 Жыл бұрын
I’m sorry. My father is a wide awake nightmare and takes great pleasure in bringing it up every so often that every single dime and possessions go to step mom. I don’t even imply anything about money or whatever he keeps saying my truck is all yours. Wtf. I just don’t react once my whole life he broke down crying looking to justify his outrageous actions and behavior and abuse. Like it was out of love.
@doremefasolateeda Жыл бұрын
My dad abandoned us 3 girls...it was in his last five years of life that I had the opportunity to be around him..before I used to say " you know what's worse than losing a parent is having a parent that is still alive..and not around.."
@palace927 Жыл бұрын
When I was 12, my brothers and I visited my father at his job as a aerospace engineer. His co-worker told us how nice he was to work with. That was the day I hated my father. I realized that he could be kind to other people, but chose to be abusive to his family. For 29 years, there was no contact. He died last November from Covid. I was told that he cried about me. I'm relieved that he is gone.
@sadhu7191 Жыл бұрын
You project reality through eyes from inside head. We created this reality to be able to fail and learn since as God's we are perfect. Split God in duality so we can learn like an artificial intelligence learns fastes playing its self
@sadhu7191 Жыл бұрын
Hope u find your healing of trauma
@gigiarmany4332 Жыл бұрын
@@sadhu7191 wow ...very interesting..I like it👍🏾💥🔥
@vanessasmith6925 Жыл бұрын
When my dad painted only the outside side od the front door of our house and left it that way for years, well that told me who is he putting in front position instead of his family. Hej cared what People on the outside thought about us. They were the priority.
@bellasue02 Жыл бұрын
@@vanessasmith6925 or the outside was more weathered and needed it more
@plumduff3303 Ай бұрын
I saw my father on his death bed he saw me and said " remember when i hit you,' laughed and said ' now go away i want to see my real family ' he never changed. One horrible man. Sorry you had to suffer
@monkeytalk4912 7 ай бұрын
One of the last things my narcissistic father told me before he died from stage 4 lung cancer was not to embarrass him when he’s gone and that my breath stinks. Everyones different. Some narcissists may have some kind of realization about what a selfish POS they have been their whole adult lives at the end at some point, and some are just stupid fools until their very last breath. I remember being glad that he was dying in a lot of ways because all his problems were no longer going to be my problems anymore. I was no longer going to have to endure his constant toxic negativity anymore. I could finally start living a life without his critiques. No more having to listen to all his crazy fears and things he hates. No more rage anger to listen to. No more having to be reminded of all the mistakes I ever made in my entire life. It was all a very enticing thought in my head, my father being gone forever. I remember telling him that he will live on through me when he was gone, and wow, that really made his day. I told him that to shut him up, because thats what i had been doing my whole life to try and calm him down. My father had been acting like he was dying for as long as i had known him. When he actually was dying it didnt feel much different from when he was not. Also I was conditioned by my father to please him and say things to make him feel better for as long as i can remember so theres that too. I just found very affective though, If you want to make your dying narcissistic parent super happy so you can stop their negativity for a while tell them they will live on through you. Im pretty sure since they have always viewed you as more of their property than an actual individual that statement will really strike all the right chords for them. It almost validates why they had you in the first place. So that they can fulfill some kind of fantasy in their head that they can live through you forever and never die. All narcissists are mentally sick people who live in a kind of fantasy. Telling them they will live forever really plays into their fantasies about themselves. Its been almost 8 years now that my dad has been gone and not a day has gone by where i really wished he was around. I dont miss him much. I feel better with him not around. Thats not a great feeling or anything. It didnt make me a happier person when he died, but it was relieving for me after 30+ years of the stress he caused me through neglect and verbal abuse. So thats my father’s legacy. Im sure he would be embarrassed and enraged with anger for me phrasing it like that. He would blame me for his embarrassment and anger, but he embarrassed himself by being a selfish deadbeat.
@Rufustboone 5 ай бұрын
Great job; I hope and pray you’re having a wonderful life now. Prayers to you 😊
@JudyBarrette Жыл бұрын
I got sincere tears out of my dad once. I was 16 and trying to make sense of our family life. We walked on eggshells always, not knowing when he would blow up. I could sense always his heavy heart, anger and resentment. We could never do anything well enough to be considered worthy of being his children, and we certainly never heard from him that he loved us, etc. I searched beyond the pain. I saw that he came home each day for meals and to sleep. That he had goals - he was a builder and did a lot of that. And I came to understand that his way to love us was to provide a roof over our heads, food on the table and to keep us safe. This was not easy for him. He had terrible working conditions, was often very sick and was obviously not happy being married. So one day, we were alone in the mechanical room of the house, where he was often, and where he was explaining to me what needed to be monitored for safety. I said: "Thanks dad for making sure we are safe. I know that this is your way to show us you love us." He was so touched he had tears in his eyes. Never again did this happen. I tried, over the years, to reach him this way, but only to get insulted. When he was dying, I spent this last night with him, doing what I could to make him comfortable. He said nothing which would or could have helped me feel loved or even help me heal. I understand that he was a product of his environment and time. According to him, we had it easy compared to the way he was raised. I have to accept that he did his best.
@healing-for-all5349 Жыл бұрын
I like your attitude about that
@betulapendula7661 Жыл бұрын
beautiful
@maurakennedy5952 Жыл бұрын
Must have very hard on the whole family yes that can happen they look at it as a duty god love your dad he did not any better your dad been a builder back then must have been very tough on him been out in all weather's glad you are over all your troubles keep up the good work
@Gullvivas Жыл бұрын
@mrs.t4382 Жыл бұрын
You are a good person, Judy.
@cht2162 11 ай бұрын
As my dad lay dying in the hospital I said "Dad, I Love You." I was hoping to hear him say how he cared or felt about me. I was standing by his bed and he turned his head toward me, and with an unblinking stare asked "Why?"
@helenmccabekantartrial9789 6 ай бұрын
This is one of the saddest memories shared on here, I’m so sorry you you had this experience.
@mbj-uo8lt 5 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry. That is crushing and bewildering. You have a heavenly father who loves you...God loves you unconditionally. ❤️
@vkrgfan 5 ай бұрын
He is right though, who if not him knows that they have nothing of substance to offer, they are empty shells.
@Pitoonya 5 ай бұрын
Your father asking "Why?" Was, in a sense, his admission that he knew/thought he wasn't loveable. I hope you got thru the pain he caused you. ✌️ and ❤
@Kathy-444 5 ай бұрын
@@mbj-uo8ltyou are so right! You have a Father in Heaven who made you BECAUSE HE LOVED YOU AS AMAZING AND UNIQUE AS YOU ARE. I'm so sorry for that perplexing and sad reply from your earthly father. I'm sure you are an AMAZING PERSON. GOD BLESS YOU. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@juliekswanson 3 ай бұрын
I’m so glad we are all ending the generational abuse and trauma that’s been poisoning humanity right inside our homes. Going no-contact is painful but necessary to break the cycle. Compassion and empathy is the path forward. ❤️🙏🏻🙌
@theunsweetkarmaway 10 ай бұрын
As a man who has battled his share of demons that manifest as personal narcissism, I can say that your father's "last words" were vital. In recovery from addiction, we do that "searching and fearless personal moral inventory of ourselves." It is a way to know ourselves, to develop a habit of looking at ourselves, to create daily rhythms where we check our reactions and ask ourselves why we are being the way we are. Look, I am not without sin. I carry a lot of narcissistic thinking. The difference today is, I have learned to be more aware when it comes up, to ask questions--why do you crave this thing outside of yourself? Because most of those cravings--for drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, sugar, etc.--are self-will run riot, what the 12 Step program calls the "bondage of self."
@dnabart 9 ай бұрын
They're "love substitutes" for people that don't know how to live or be truly happy inside themselves
@timomara6055 Жыл бұрын
My 85 yo father has aggressive cancer. My sisters and I did all we could to help him, even offering organ transplants. His narcissism didn’t allow him to stop being abusive and cruel. We walked away. I feel so relieved to be free.
@zakithiganyaza5525 Жыл бұрын
Yoh
@mortenovergaard7397 Жыл бұрын
You made the right decision 👍. Honestly, you did.
@jayander7705 Жыл бұрын
Then it sounds like your father done a “one up”, a wonderful good thing for you all. A dying man said he wanted no help from his children whom did not like him. Yep, sounds like what a man would say and want.
@margaretcarr6387 Жыл бұрын
I did a little happy dance when mom died.😊
@denisemangan1413 Жыл бұрын
My narcissistic sister told me she went to lunch with her very best friend & terminally ill husband. All my sister could say was that her best friend was angry about her husband’s impending death. As nurses we could understand that but my sister was most indignant when she said to me: “I don’t think I’ll see her again, she doesn’t want to spend time with me” I was dumbfounded ‘spend time with you’ -her husband is terminally ill & near death & they have a baby!
@mysticpizza02 Жыл бұрын
I had a friend who now I know was clearly disordered, I met with her one day and her usual moaning about the lack of attention from her husband (who she had already cheated on) me who had just lost my job and have had many stresses in my life which looking back she never asked how I was etc, I said to her but his (her husband) father just died, and it was like she had never even thought about that he would be grieving but it's all about her, she even made him go to a wedding (her cousins) on the same day of his father's funeral! I remember her phoning me to tell me his father had died and her moaning that it was on the same day as the wedding!
@davidiscool3326 Жыл бұрын
@@mysticpizza02 This has to be more than a trauma based childhood, something is clearly missing inside this person. Perhaps a soul?
@seriouscat2231 Жыл бұрын
@@davidiscool3326, soul is defined as a life-giving whatever. So if it is alive, it has a soul. Plants and animals included.
@andresrogersa Жыл бұрын
@@seriouscat2231 but not necessarily a conscience, nor connection to spirit (different than soul)
@Dice-Z Жыл бұрын
@@davidiscool3326 Don't dehumanize people. We aren't supposed to stoop to their level are we?
@mrsmunro1417 11 ай бұрын
Such a sad echo of my sad past. Thanks for speaking out. My mom was wonderful and strong. My Dad broke, over and over. He couldn't adapt.
@marybowers6090 6 ай бұрын
I have two narcissistic parents and at a very young age you learn to take care of yourself. One of my earliest memories was when I was a toddler moving a chair over by the fridge to open the fridge and get a jug of milk. I would drag everything into the living room, pour cereal and milk into a bowl to make myself breakfast. I remember spilling stuff all over the place because the milk was so heavy and at such a young age I didn’t have the coordination to do those tasks well at that age. I’ve always felt like an old person trapped in a young body because as a narcs child you have to be self sufficient out of the womb. Married a narc and your moms story is my story. My son and I did everything alone with other couples. My friends husband said what’s wrong with her husband, he has a great wife beautiful son and he’s never with them.
@nohana2003 Жыл бұрын
I remember spending a night at the hospital with him, 3 days before he died... his last words to me, with a very demanding tone in his voice were don't sell my land and don't sell my house... he wanted to stay in control even after his death, the only thing he was worried about were material stuff;
@ifeawosika966 Жыл бұрын
Dead people can't make demands. Live in peace.
@nohana2003 Жыл бұрын
@@ifeawosika966 no shit... buy some glasses
@ifeawosika966 Жыл бұрын
@H&N vv Relax. Your passive aggressiveness isn't helping anyone.
@nohana2003 Жыл бұрын
@@ifeawosika966 who needs help??😂😂😂.
@kelle0285 Жыл бұрын
@@nohana2003You're a funny one.
@kristianlavigne8270 Жыл бұрын
My father never felt he had much of a family growing up, being abandoned to boarding school since 10 years old. No wonder he struggled being a dad himself and having empathy. My mother was first generation go-girl, all about career. Both were concerned primarily about status and money, us kids were mostly just status symbols to show off. Once I told my parents I never really felt lived. The prompt response: "We always gave you nice Xmas presents"
@miriamhavard7621 Жыл бұрын
😂 That's just what they say, too! They just don't get it.
@elenimoudakis966 Жыл бұрын
$#i! .Mom ,Dad it was your bloody heart I wanted 😰
@DavidNotSolomon Жыл бұрын
They clearly do not get the important things in life. As Jesus said "Man does not live on bread alone' - i.e material things will not satisfy us.
@danisaksson3214 Жыл бұрын
Fuck. That's rough.
@waynemcleod6767 Жыл бұрын
@@elenimoudakis966 Can't give what you don't have.
@surfkat59 23 күн бұрын
Profound words never spoken before. My dad disowned me 10 years ago. He died back when. Good riddance. He was a real narcissist to a fault. I never liked him. He never liked me. I did fine in life. Carried his casket. Never shed tear. I don't have compassion for a "Never Man". Never grieved. God knows where that pos belongs.
@76meko 7 ай бұрын
Before my Dad died, I said ‘I Love you Dad’ he said ‘I know’ ✨💞
@tikster67 Жыл бұрын
Woah! Make sure you don't assume someone is a narc, solely based on the fact they seem lost and don't know who they are. That can be traits of a person like me, who was abandoned at birth and raised in an orphanage. The defining factor is empathy. Narcs have no empathy and have no regrets. They NEVER say sorry
@tovenrvik6336 Жыл бұрын
Narcissists are not capable of love and lacks empathy, they are takers who only breadcrumbs others ‼️Narcissistic mothers destroy their babies bcs they don't mirror, hug and comfort them, their children are not allowed to have boundries or show feelings ‼️A Narcissistic mother only see her child as an extension of themselvs ‼️Dr Judy Rosenberg have good videos about Narcissism and Narcissistic mothers ‼️✳️Starseed INFJ Heyoka, Scapegoat of two Narcissistic parents.
@zenchi9214 Жыл бұрын
Covert narcs says sorry all the time. They just don’t mean it and don’t do anything to change their behavior.
@MegaMademade Жыл бұрын
Agree
@galenjoyce8452 Жыл бұрын
If they apologize they never mean it.
@DoctorSess Жыл бұрын
Also just because someone has narcissistic tendencies does not mean they meet the criteria of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
@Warcraze13 Жыл бұрын
Our egos are not our friends. Its only taken me 43 years to figure this out. You have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. Thank you for putting out these good vibes brother!!
@beatrizchavez6638 Жыл бұрын
I coudn't agree more. I'm convinced that whatever parents you have it's because you have a lesson to learn from them. When you work to grow your soul you find out your parents did what Karma led them to do. Narcissist have things to teach us about abandonment, betryal,guilt,low self love etc. It was hard lesson for me to learn but I finally got over it.
@chelseacraft4669 Жыл бұрын
But if you traumatize a child during brain development, their amygdala will not develop, and they cannot feel the range of human emotions necessary to experience love, conscience, remorse, or know the difference between right and wrong. It’s physical brain damage. It’s not just about a choice like you were talking about. They can’t just choose to feel love. You need to educate yourself about the human amygdala and antisocial personality disorder.
@jesterday2222 Жыл бұрын
Your statement is a contradiction. Reject ego / love - yourself - first (which is also egotistical).......You see the flaw in this? You have to love others first, help others, be kind to strangers etc. From this self-love and love for life grows. Not the other way around. Love OTHERS first! Than self respect and the death of ego will come. Or at least you will get out of it's grip. And you will feel good about yourself.
@Warcraze13 Жыл бұрын
@@jesterday2222 While I wont disagree with your initial assessment, I would like you to think about that for a second. How can you love anything when you hate yourself? If you haven't been there, I understand, its hard to wrap your healthy mind around.
@jesterday2222 Жыл бұрын
@@Warcraze13 If you hate yourself, you can still love others. Admire others. Care for others. Be kind too others. If not, then maybe it's not yourself you hate?
@nancyradecki1341 5 ай бұрын
This was brilliantly said and articulated. Thank you for sharing your life experiences and insight. You are a good example of overcoming parental damage and so helpful in guiding others.
@TheDeborah0101 6 ай бұрын
I'm the daughter of a clinically diagnosed covert narcissistic mother and there is little recovery from the mental gymnastics and abuse that children suffer in the care of a narcissist. Emotional scars from narcissistic abuse by a parent will always be with you. Your father leaving you at the age of four saved you from most of it. Be grateful for that.
@coldfact. 6 ай бұрын
I feel this way so often, yet hesitate to share it, due to possibly ruining others hopes of "getting well." But honestly this is how I feel. Im 48 & the abuses from my NPD mother carried on for so long (still in some ways), that I often wonder if I can/will ever be healed... at least enough, not to continue suffering from the CPTSD so badly anymore. Many times it just seems impossible. She brainwashed my kids into her madness & some of the abuse even continues thru them now. Will this nightmare ever end? Ive been hurt beyond measure of any human understanding, it seems & I am completely traumatized & tired! 💔
@TheDeborah0101 6 ай бұрын
@coldfact. I'm so sorry that you've suffered narcissistic abuse by a mother. I want to be clear about my previous statement. Complete recovery is not possible, but it is possible to live a fulfilling life. What has helped me in my recovery is separation and self-discovery. I separated myself from my mother by several hundred miles. This gave me freedom of proximity and lessened the anxiety of her toxic meltdowns or fear of displeasing her. Figuring out what I like, MY wants, and desires was a four-decade road to discovery. Anyone who has a narcissistic parent knows what I'm talking about and why this is important. Empowering yourself is the only way you will ever live a fulfilling life. It's easy to become frozen in place and that's what happens to victims of narcissism. "You have nothing to fear" and "It will pass. It always does" are my mantras on the bad days. And you know what? They always do. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find peace on your journey.
@Seznumerouno Жыл бұрын
I have to keep reminding myself that when people try to break you down it's actually not because you're weak. It's actually that in spite of your vulnerability that you've still overcome. It's something that they are actually afraid of. Also hyper- critical people like my mother are just deflecting or desperately correcting their own mistakes and constantly want to be in control even though it's no longer up to them. Without that control they feel worthless.
@pocu321 Жыл бұрын
I think this comment resonates the most. My father controlled everything about my life, even while living states away, and wanted to control me 'for life'. I finally stood up to him when I was 29 years old and it broke off a lot of that fear I had of him. I hid my true self from him for decades. In fact I still do but a lot has changed. He finally stopped trying to control me. After reading your comment, looking back, his one successful business was backed by my rich grandfather. After that he could only find minimum wage type jobs. He had a high-visibility job once that was fairly prestigious but he lost it. He spent the next decade trying to get it back but couldn't. His mother was a textbook narc and he grew up in extreme dysfunction. Considering how much he has mellowed out in his latter years and how nice he is to me now, I don't think he was a true narc. But I do see where he mirrored a lot of his mother's ways for a long, long time, tried to find his way in life, never had a good foundation to build upon or light the way, and I think he's finally at peace with a lot of it. But I do see how the control and the self-esteem are connected because of your comment. Thank you.
@robinbittel9420 Жыл бұрын
Perfectly said.
@darealboby4017 Жыл бұрын
💞
@amandagerberich5378 Жыл бұрын
My dad's wife told me that my dad "forgave" me before he died. 😳 So boy, I feel you. Thank you for this video.
@VariationsOnASeam Жыл бұрын
That's infuriating.
@christineoosthuizen4388 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely infuriating!!!!
@_filifjonkan4290 Жыл бұрын
My mom told my sister: “I think she (=me) cannot forgive me that I was a bad mom. I know I was but if I could start over again, I probably would do the same, I know myself.” I took care of my mom in her final days, she got totally paralysed and was in a nursing home. She kept ordering me around, was not interested at all in my life. When we emptied the house after her death we found letters and diaries and it become clear that she didn’t love me. Especially because I have kids myself and see the contrast. I hope none of us inherit her character. She had some interesting sides too, but the narcissism was just bad.
@ChadDidNothingWrong Жыл бұрын
@@_filifjonkan4290 You know, about half of the people in these comments are actually the narc, and they are just projecting the narcissism onto their victim and claiming _they_ are the narc...... but I can tell you aren't one of them. I wish you all the best.
@sirman8774 Жыл бұрын
Wut an a hole
@shop970 11 ай бұрын
Good for you! Lots will come to those that spend time with themselves. And find reflective periods, then start to live them! Excellent! We are always growing!
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