How Over-Giving Hurts Your Relationship and What to Do About It- Relationship Advice

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How Over-Giving Hurts Your Relationship and What to Do About It- Relationship Advice

Рет қаралды 3,552

Күн бұрын

Are you an over-giver? Feeling unappreciated, burnt out, and resentful? Here’s how over-giving hurts your relationship and what you can do about it. Learn to create a balance between giving and receiving for a healthy, happy partnership.
You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You give and give. That’s what a good partner does, right? So why do you feel unappreciated, burnt out, resentful, and exhausted? And while it is good to be good, are you good to yourself? In all of your intention to give, have you allowed yourself to receive?
Learn practical strategies to create a healthy balance between giving and receiving, ensuring a happier and more fulfilling partnership. By understanding and implementing these tips, you can foster a more appreciative and balanced relationship. Rather than be resentful with your partner, shift your position on the teeter totter. Learn to transform your approach so that you may enhance your relationship dynamics.
Reciprocity. Mutuality. True Partnership
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00:00 Introduction
00:41 Benefits of Giving
01:03 When Giving Becomes 'Over-Giving'
01:43 The Hook and Loop
02:15 Balance
03:30 Givers Can Attract Other Givers
04:25 Undoing Your "Training' Your Partner To Take
05:29 Learning To Receive

Пікірлер: 46

@YouTubeUzername 2 ай бұрын

You know literally EVERYTHING about relationships and the different dynamics. How is this even possible??? This video is SO spot on! 👏

@acd1168 2 ай бұрын

She’s blessed. It’s a gift and she gets to share it with us

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

I am really happy that you like this. You flatter me. You asked me how I know. I am an over giver, and I saw that as the proof of love. It’s not. It’s a recipe for resentment. And it also doesn’t allow the other person to feel fully empowered to be a giver. Additionally, it keeps bringing in the same kind of people over and over and over again. So a massive correction is needed.

@Ann-ym7oo 2 ай бұрын

No reciprocation = No continuation

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Oh, I love it. Absolutely perfect comment

@user-yt8hm4oc5r 2 ай бұрын

well said

@krishna335 2 ай бұрын

People don't value what's available easily. No matter how good a person you are, eventually, you'll get treated like shit if you overgive.

@Kay-ln3kx 2 ай бұрын

God this is me!

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

This is true, and that is why balance is so helpful in a relationship. We could just say that the other person is incredibly selfish. That might be the case. But an adjustment on our end is the shortest way to fix it and not call in that type of person again.

@mesCheerios 2 ай бұрын

We value your time and energy Susan, thanks for what you have given us

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Ohhh! Thank you!!!

@mesCheerios 2 ай бұрын

♡!!

@valvihk3649 Ай бұрын

I love giving gifts, it's my love language. I noticed toxicity of it after getting into a relationship with a narcissist who became spoiled and ungrateful. I am now married to a better man, I don't over give on monthly basis anymore due to that trauma, but I still over give on holidays

@Lioness_of_Gaia 2 ай бұрын

Thank you! This goes for ALL relationships!

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Yes it does!

@LisaGemini 2 ай бұрын

Spot on! My roommate’s grandson takes advantage of her kindness. You must find another giver. Not a narcissist or user! Thank you, Susan! ❤❤❤❤🎉

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

You are welcome, Lisa. And you know it’s sad about your roommate. She’s probably a really lovely person. She just doesn’t realize that she’s enabling very bad behavior and setting this kid up to be an opportunist. So she has any love for him at all. Her kindness is harmful.

@gnarlycat 2 ай бұрын

Hi Susan!!! So true…nothing worse than only feasting on scraps.

@whermany 2 ай бұрын

I also think there are lots of different ways we give and contribute to a relationship. It’s also how you compliment each other.

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Correct and it sounds like you understand a healthy form of give-and-take

@whermany 2 ай бұрын

@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan! Yeah, I would say so. I'm currently in an age gap relationship. That’s how I discovered you and your content! So, a BIG thank you for sharing your wisdom as well as your personal journey with all of us! It’s been invaluable. You are making a huge difference in people’s lives. Our situation…He’s younger and makes decent money. Though not as much I do. He also has a mortgage and all that. So I totally understand his situation. I’ve been debt free for a long time. We did have the money talk. And we discussed all kinds of ways we can both contribute to our relationship outside of money. And that actually brought us closer.  Since the beginning, we created an idea board where we post things we’d like to do/experience together. We added a free column after the money talk. That was after we realized there were many things that didn’t cost money already on the board. That way he doesn’t feel like I am “doing too much”.  I do like a nice dinner and show from time to time. So I tend to pick up the tab while he picks up the tip. Gaps are interesting. I think he is more conscious of it than I am. Especially the money gap, even more than our age gap. The funny thing is that it matters, and yet it also doesn’t matter. If you know what I mean. We feel fortunate and do our best to stay in the present. Thank you again, Susan!

@teripersson1308 2 ай бұрын

I was just thinking it shouldn't be that hard! And Susan said 'effortless' That is so correct. Shouldn't have to think how often you help your partner, should they be helping me now. They gave me 30% of themselves last week but I gave 90%. X

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Teri, when you start keeping tabs with your partner is when you already feel the deficit.

@teripersson1308 2 ай бұрын

@@SusanWinter Spot on Susan, as per usual ❤️

@acd1168 2 ай бұрын

Always on time. Thank you for your wisdom 😊

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

So glad!

@teripersson1308 2 ай бұрын

I'm not great at receiving help. Been let down by people close to me in the past- family, ex partners. You learn to rely on yourself

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Relying on yourself is always a good idea. But I bet it’s also hard for you to ask for help. I know it has been for me as well. Perhaps you’re afraid of being a burden or in your case, learning that they’re really not going to be there for you at all. There are indeed great people in this world. And sometimes it takes meeting enough jerks to really focus on only good people

@lucyloo7457 2 ай бұрын

Great one Susan! ❤. Thank you!!

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Thank you, thank you thank you, LucyLoo

@dylannicks1146 2 ай бұрын

I kept giving because my ocd and need for reassurance pushed my ex away. He didn’t value me any longer.

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Dylan, do you think you could make an adjustment on your side? When you begin to pull back a little bit, it allows them to come forward. A relationship doesn’t require you to have to work at it and give everything and do everything and fix everything and be everything for this person, and sometimes that’s how we seek the assurance that we are needed. I do realize it’s tough. But you can see how the more you keep giving the less they value you and that’s because they didn’t earn it and they know it.

@PeteRoberts-sy6ug 2 ай бұрын

I did the best I could, always gave when asked, still got a knife in my back, I know I made mistakes but no warning that night, I was out of the house and alone in an instant, I don't know if I can ever trust again, please continue to help me Lord!

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Pete, I’m so sorry that it happened that way. Don’t stop being a good person. Just dial it back a bit and look for better people who are also givers.

@Deannaa100 2 ай бұрын

Thank you. This was my last relationship

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Anna, so happy to read that it was your “last” relationship. Antin better days with better balance.

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Anna- thankfully you are no longer in that relationship😊

@richard-wg8pt 2 ай бұрын

Thanks Susan, your commentaries are always so kind and helpful. What do you think about how often (and how easily) a non-giver can become a giver once the issue is pointed out to him or her? Is it fairly common? I’ve expressed my unhappiness to a few women about their selfishness, and I still ended up wasting several months in futilely waiting for them to change.

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Richard, thank you for your commentary and I do indeed know who you are from my live shows and from seeing your image here. 1. START WITYH GOOD MATERIAL. Your correction is to begin the filtration process to check to see if the lady is generous and thoughtful. It's far too hard to infuse giving and empathetic quality with a human if it is not innate.

@richard-wg8pt 2 ай бұрын

@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan. ❤❤ I realize that I haven’t been focusing enough on this aspect at the beginning of a possible relationship.

@Kay-ln3kx 2 ай бұрын

How do I break this cycle or habit after 45 years? God help me!!

@SusanWinter 2 ай бұрын

Step number one is to consciously be aware of when your impulse is to fix, cure, heal, do for, or over give. That means you feel a little anxious and you are hoping to cement good will. When you catch yourself, ask yourself, is the action I’m going to take work to my benefit or against me? One thing that you couldn’t say to your partner is “I know you can handle it” and “ I have faith in you.”

@Kay-ln3kx 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!