How To Be Yourself In A World That Doesn't Want You To Be | slow living & minimalism
Рет қаралды 5,219
Күн бұрынA video how to be yourself in a world that doesn't want you to be. How you can build self-love, be confident and not care what others think.
In today's world its becoming ever more difficult to live as our authentic selves. Given the influencer culture, marketing and our constant exposure to advertising that encourages us to be someone different, it is really difficult to feel confident or sure of ourselves. Paradoxically I've found that those who are most noted are those who are different, people like Billie Eilish come to mind.
However since living simply and adopting a slow living lifestyle, I have found true confidence in being different and learnt how to truly live authentically.
I want to share in this video how I have been able to live as my true authentic self in a world of copycats and clones and not care what others think. For me this really is the key to a happy, simplistic and fulfilling life, that so many of us are looking for elsewhere.
I hope you find this helpful and some useful tips to feel confident and start being true to yourself. Let me know your thoughts on this in the comments below and whether you like this more chatty style video 😃
Wishing you a happy and peaceful day wherever you may be!
Holly 🫶
00:00 - Intro
01:28 - Chapter 1
04:03 - Chapter 2
06:02 - Chapter 3 and Outro
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#howtobeyourself #slowliving #confidence #minimalist #minimalistliving #slowlivinglifestyle #philosophy #howtobeconfident #authenticity #howtobeauthentic #beyourself #selflove #howtoloveyourself
@deniseferreri8978 26 күн бұрын
I am definately myself...it's not that I don't fit in...people don't fit in with my lifestyle..I live the way I like doing things I like..I am a loner and love it..
@lagomholly 25 күн бұрын
I understand you entirely!😅 You’re not a loner, you’re just living on your own terms and authentically you! Wishing you the best🫶✨
@dawn9199 26 күн бұрын
Hi Holly as a Cancer survivor which has made me stronger I don't care about what others think of me I just enjoy being myself. If they don't like me then 🤷 tough. Im the happy one, thats what matters. 😊 Have a great day.
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
How humbling it is to hear this. Your optimism and wisdom is profoundly inspiring Dawn! ☺ Thank you for sharing this and I wish you all the very best ❤
@CharleneSomers 26 күн бұрын
Finally at age 69 I am learning to be myself. I still try to "fit in" with certain friends but I'm breaking away from that. If I don't feel comfortable I don't join in. Thank you so much for your wise wisdom!
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
You couldn't have said it any better! Thank you for sharing this! ☺✨
@annamallard2730 27 күн бұрын
Aww I cannot hear enough about our worth being separate to our accomplishments and possessions! Although I’m very content in life, I sometimes worry about being judged for being single and childfree at 35 (I enjoy being single and childfree!) or for having a modest income, or for still being into ‘young’ things like theme parks and children’s books! This shouldn’t matter at all, as I’m being authentic 🥰 and you’re right that the people who truly love you won’t mind what you do or don’t have, how much you earn, or what your interests are! Thank you for the reminder Holly ❤️
@letterbox203 27 күн бұрын
Hey please don’t worry about it. I think your situation is becoming more of the norm with each passing day. Your value is way greater than you think. Don’t let society dictate your value. It doesn’t even begin to know your worth. Hey I love theme parks and I’m older than you. Roller coasters are fun. My favorite park is Dollywood but I like Six Flags Magic Mountain and all the Disneys and Universals :))
@annamallard2730 27 күн бұрын
@@letterbox203 Aww thank you, I love this! I don’t think there should be such a thing as ‘growing out’ of theme parks and Disney etc, I know I won’t!! ✨ Can’t wait to try the new rollercoaster at Thorpe Park next month hehe, if they manage to get it up and running again!
@letterbox203 27 күн бұрын
@@annamallard2730 please let me know how the new rollercoaster turns out. I’ve never been there or Alton Towers but I’ve read about them!
@annamallard2730 27 күн бұрын
@@letterbox203 I shall report back 😎 I’ve been to Alton Towers once which was fantastic, but a day wasn’t enough, I’ll have to stay for 2 next time!
@letterbox203 27 күн бұрын
@@annamallard2730 Now that’s what I’m talking about! The less we care about what others think about us the more we can enjoy our lives. Btw, overcoming my fears of rollercoasters gave me a No Fear attitude that really opened up avenues.
@lagomholly 27 күн бұрын
Do you think today's world lacks authenticity? ✨
@Transamandy 27 күн бұрын
Yes the world has always followed trends and what’s in fashion…..everyone is unique in their own way but most never express that part of their self out of fear of not fitting in and becoming a outcast….Holly I really believe you would love a book called Jonathan Livingston seagull by Richard Bac…thank you for another magnificent video 🎉
@letterbox203 27 күн бұрын
Billie Eilish is cool. I think I subconsciously put her in your mind with my comment on your video 2 months ago :))I really love her song “What Was I Made For”. The whole song really resonates with me just as your video does especially the line “Think I forgot how to be happy, it’s something I’m not but something I can be”. Simple living is really getting me there! Thanks for your channel
@letterbox203 26 күн бұрын
Holly, at what age is it good to start simple living? And is it ok to not have ambition? And on your point of knowing who you are: I sometimes think if I was an alien and stopped by this earth, I wouldn’t think it was really “civilized” because war is the way we solve issues as humans and we can’t seem to break that cycle.
@colorsofavon934 26 күн бұрын
I was just thinking how sad it is that people don't think for themselves anymore. People are so predictable. Love your thoughts. TFS 💖
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
@@Transamandy I totally agree! And I will have to add it to my reading list! Thank you for your recommendation ☺ 🫶
@fraudebs8786 22 күн бұрын
Holly, you are such an inspiration. I hope a lot of young people watch your vids, not just oldies like me! Lol because you are so genuine and your advice is so wise for one so young also! I'm 62 now and it's taken me this long to really feel comfortable and confident with who I am and to really be true to myself without stressing about what anyone else thinks, and it's so liberating! It's sad that it takes so many of us so long to feel totally happy and accepting of who we really are, and are not enlightened with this carefree attitude in our youth. How different our lives would be!!! Keep being your lovely self Holly 💖
@lagomholly 14 күн бұрын
Thank you for such kind words! Really humbled by your comment🥹 I agree it couldn’t be a more liberating feeling! A journey we’re all on and comes at different points for all of us! But I love your mindset, it’s very inspiring for me to hear☺️✨
@noemisolano4748 24 күн бұрын
Holly I understand what you are sharing in this video. I'm an introvert. I socialize a little with my coworkers. But I never understand why people pull away from me and don't talk to me as much at work. I'm a friendly, quiet hardworking person. I have witnessed extroverts being popular at work. In society I feel like being an extrovert is a must. There's is nothing wrong with being introverted and wanting to slow down.
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I do agree that whether introverted or extroverted, it doesn't take away any of our value as a person. We're all different and need to operate in this world in a way that is best for our individual selves! Whether society or others agree should not hold us back ✨ Wishing you the best 🫶
@cherylverber7672 26 күн бұрын
As Oscar Wilde once quoted " be yourself everyone else is taken" I enjoy being just me, as is. It's what makes me unique, took me to my 50's to actually get it and be really comfortable with who i am. Love today's vlog ❤
@lagomholly 25 күн бұрын
Love that quote! He couldn’t have said it any better☺️ And so you should as there’ll never be another you! So pleased you enjoyed this🫶✨
@user-gm1kl6xy4m 27 күн бұрын
Our worth is not by our accomplishments or anyone elses approval
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
Absolutely!😊✨
@Transamandy 27 күн бұрын
I was just saying last week how one of the most important qualities I feel a person can have is being comfortable in their own skin….while growing up I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere so I was able to learn more about my own thoughts,talents and skills by being alone…as I got older I started to realize that the more I loved myself and didn’t care about what anyone else thought the more people were interested in being my friend or getting to know me…playing guitar and being able to express all my feelings through music changed my whole life…. I no longer was the person who didn’t fit in I became a person other people thought was cool and wanted to be like …as a teenager I used teaching guitar as a way to help kids learn how to express who they are & I’m very grateful for that time in my life ….someone once told me that when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change…thank you Holly for being so unique and wonderful 🎉 🎉
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
I totally agree, what a wonderful perspective, experience and reminder we all need to hear ☺ Thank you for sharing this Andy! Wishing you all the best 🫶 ✨
@sandranorth6016 26 күн бұрын
I just try to be myself, no one can be me any better. To not be me is a lie and hard work to sustain😊
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
Well said and couldn’t be more true!☺️ Thanks for watching!🫶✨
@persephone213 25 күн бұрын
What a positive, uplifting message. 💖✨
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you! ☺ 🫶
@user-ix5qd1bp4q 26 күн бұрын
Slow simple lifestyle necessary now a days. Thanks
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
For sure! Thank you for watching☺️✨
@stephenmacafee5478 26 күн бұрын
Amazing message Holly :-) there is something you said in one of your past videos that has really stuck with me, it was "Be unapologetically yourself". That's what I love about you Holly, you are unapologetically yourself, and I happen to love, who you really are. A great pastor once said to me when I was really seeing myself the wrong way, "You are a good man, if God finds you worthy to have His Spirit living inside of you, you must be a good man, and you don't have to prove anything to anybody". Since that day, I don't try to prove myself to anyone, I am fully confident that I can truly be myself, without putting on a show or a performance before others, and the right people will stay, and the wrong people will leave. Because the right people will love us for who we really are and not what we try to be :-)
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
I loved that quote Stephen, what a wonderful way to summarise this concept☺ I totally agree, the only person we need to "prove" ourselves to is us and I think that's one of the biggest indicators of self-respect and self-love we can possess. We will always have ourselves and that's why our self-relationship is so important in a world where people can easily come and go 😊 Really appreciate your thoughts here! Wishing you all the best 🫶 ✨
@stephenmacafee5478 24 күн бұрын
@lagomholly Thanks so much Holly :-) yes loving ourselves in a healthy balanced way is so important. There's beauty in letting go, letting go of control, especially letting go of trying to control how people see us. Wishing you the best too :-)
@StefanPagacik 26 күн бұрын
When we find out what constitutes our authentic self, the universe brings us people and opportunities that reinforce that authenticity. It happens effortlessly. As it should. No amount of external validation can substitute for what resides in our heart and soul. And no one or nothing can take that away from us. thank you Holly for another great video!
@lagomholly 25 күн бұрын
So so true! We reap what we sow! There’s no fooling the universe and our subconscious will always reinforce who we really are. Even if we do try to be someone else, our true selves will always come back eventually! Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts☺️✨
@Thomas-jm1pd 26 күн бұрын
comforting video and words thank you.
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
Thank you for watching😊✨
@letterbox203 24 күн бұрын
i listened to this video again and again in my car and appreciate the individual care and creativity you put into your points such as your analogy of the claw, your personal struggles of trying to fit in, your cave men example. Sometimes by laying out your concepts in clear and logical ways we can go a long way in persuading others to see our point of view or to point out another perspective . I agree that being true to ourselves is priority. The accurate assessment of ourselves is critical in personal growth and development, this is taught by apostle Paul. We shouldn’t think of ourselves greater or less than who we are. And if we judge ourselves accurately, we can live in a way that will free us from judgment by our superiors later on, such as when we follow the law or when we act in love out of our own compassion, because perfect love casts out fear and is the only debt that we should ever owe.
@lagomholly 22 күн бұрын
Thank very much! I’m so humbled by your words and how this topic resonated with you too😊 I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said! It really does start with our own perspective and opinion of ourselves whilst remaining grounded that ultimately shape the outlook we have on the world and others. Thanks for sharing!☺️🫶
@letterbox203 22 күн бұрын
@@lagomhollyI feel blessed by your words. This video is a good one I can return to once a month to stay grounded. You remind us to be ourselves, to be authentic, and be original, which is the one thing no one else can be best at!
@carolinerosacker8668 25 күн бұрын
You touched on so many important reasons to be true to ourselves. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
@lagomholly 25 күн бұрын
So glad this resonated with you too! Thank you for watching☺️✨
@travellingyoginikas 27 күн бұрын
Oh Holly it took me numerous years to heal and become myself. Once I did I saw profound changes deep within. Re I emigrated from the uk to India and live on such limited funds. As you can see I no longer care what anyone thinks of me. Yes, I'm completely off the rictor scale and proud of it 😀 I healed by slowing down re doing a crazy amount of in-depth yoga and meditation which brought up immense trauma. That trauma is better out than in. As now I have an inner fearless freedom. Thanks for an excellent video dear. It was highly relatable❤❤❤❤❤❤
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for watching and sharing your story! I'm so glad to hear you have found peace and a way to live authentically 😊 Wishing you all the best! ✨
@PromisingPod 26 күн бұрын
This is the video we definitely need. Holly, it's good you're still making so many videos. When you are freethinking and able to do things on your own, it allows you to see the world and approach the world, in a way where you don't need the external world to teach you things. You're able to approach any new situation and make your own decisions and ideas about it. You didn't advisors or influencers anymore. After all, where do you think influencers get their ideas from? At the end, you're always following someone's ideas, so why not make your own ideas? I always think that everyone is a protagonist of their own story, and isn't it wonderful, when you're able to be your own character. Breaking the typical rules of Hollywood and making it work, with just your own personality. Often times, I feel like I can't see myself in media and Hollywood, but then that makes me want to just be myself, so that others that see me, will see a fully-unique and one-of-a-kind self. Originality js just randomness, that is organized in your mind, in a way that makes sense to you. I wish people would do this more, especially nowadays, instead of just straight up copying things. When you are original, you'll always know what to do, because you've trained yourself to be the ultimate improviser and self-builder. Like you said, research is also a part of what you do, when approaching something new, but you also need to couple research with originality. Okay, Holly, keep making videos. I like it when you tell us small details about your thoughts, like how you do things, or that you know of Billie Eilish, or that you share your meals with us.
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing this, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts here and this perspective resonated a lot! 😊 I love what you touched on about being the protagonist of your own story! I think that's where many get it wrong that we're supposed to be an "extra" in someone else's story or emulate a main character from another within our own. When you think about it, it just wouldn't work trying to make the main character of one movie the main character of another and I think the same is very relevant for our own lives. So glad you're enjoying these thoughts and my content so far. Really appreciate your support and plenty more to come ☺ 🫶
@donnarakitzis2719 23 күн бұрын
Thank you for this video. It’s been provoking for me.
@lagomholly 22 күн бұрын
Thank you for watching! So glad you enjoyed☺️🫶
@emmaattwood6296 25 күн бұрын
Holly 🤩 You are such a beautiful soul ❤
@lagomholly 25 күн бұрын
That’s so kind, thank you🥹🫶
@denisebryant89 26 күн бұрын
Yet another amazingly wise video Holly, absolutely love what you had to say in this one. You are so helpful and insightful and your voice is so calming, you instantly make me feel more peaceful. Bless you, you are an earth angel❤
@lagomholly 25 күн бұрын
So pleased you enjoyed this and found it calming!🫶 I really appreciate your kind words🥹✨
@SuperSiddhu 26 күн бұрын
I found this video helpful 🫶. Being yourself these days is a challenge amidst social comparisons. It is easier said than done. I think it is a common misconception that to be authentic, people sometimes withdraw themselves from society to avoid dependency. At times, we are dependent on others and there is no shame in that. This intentional isolation can be harmful. Personally, I feel most authentic when I am with the people I love and can open up to them - just as you mentioned, seeing loved ones for who they truly are.
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for your thoughts here ☺ I agree it is a difficult endeavour that comes with many obstacles but as with anything worth having, it's not easy and I think that rings very true when it comes to living authentically! 😊 I like what you said though about being attracted to authenticity, it really is the epitome of comfort being in genuine company! ✨
@letterbox203 27 күн бұрын
This video contains quality thoughts and encouraging and empowering content. I like how you say that our value is not what we do or possess, but is intrinsic in being a human. For me, all lives are equally valuable because God says so. Wanting to fit in can derail us from our path. And what society may deem desirable in one generation may be rejected in another. Sure diversity is good but there is value in non-diversity. Some of these ideas we have come to accept can be surprisingly shallow when we look deeper into them. Thanks for being so thought discerning.
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
You couldn't have summarised it any better! 😊 I wholeheartedly agree with your perspective here, thank you for sharing this! ✨
@letterbox203 24 күн бұрын
@@lagomhollyyour words are golden
@user-jo6zt1fe8s 27 күн бұрын
Thank you for your comforting words Holly ❤
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
Thank you for watching!☺️✨
@Transamandy 27 күн бұрын
It’s funny that when you said about the value of your life I was just thinking this morning about my friend who just recently passed away … I’ve learned something really important from just observing things the last few months since my friend died.. ..well it seems like getting older is all about loosing everyone you love …first friends start leaving from following their career or going to school elsewhere then kids grow up and leave home or move out of state then people start passing away and some people spend their whole life together and then one of them passes away….there’s a whole lot of saying goodbye it seems and it’s not easy at all but I think the more a person can understand this the more important it is to embrace and fill up your life with the people you love because one day you’ll have to say goodbye …well for me that’s the highest value of life…..I believe very strongly that everything came into existence when infinite consciousness(God) became aware it was alone and realized the joy in having someone to love….
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing this Andy. My deepest condolences go out to you during what sounds like an incredibly challenging time. I don't think there is any true advice or set in stone way of processing the loss of a loved one, but I admire your perspective that came from such experiences. I totally agree, at the end of the day everything we have in life is (more often than not) replaceable in some capacity be it a job, item, money but one thing that can never be replaced is a soul. It's just a gentle reminder of what really is precious in life and why we would never take love for granted. Wishing you brighter times ahead very soon ...💛
@Transamandy 24 күн бұрын
@@lagomholly thank you 🙏 Holly for always making me smile 😊
@markevans7269 27 күн бұрын
I work all week my life seems to be going to fast 🏃🏃. but come the weekend I just slow 🐌🐌 down and relax 😴 in the garden got loads of lovely plants growing I just love gardening because my life goes nice and slow and relaxes me .thanks for your lovely video 📺 you got lovely plants🌱🌻🌼 in your hanging baskets 🌷💐❤
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you! I agree what you said here, but I'm glad to hear you have a balance to enjoy the art of slow too ☺ Wishing you all the best! ✨
@letterbox203 22 күн бұрын
I question everything also, including history, values, religion, and everything thing else I have ever learned. I ask myself “Why?” about 5 times to drill down to more fundamental levels of concepts I have come to accept. In so doing I have opened up deep questions and have come to realize that things are not always what they appear. We live in a world of convenience, of echo chambers, of social media influence, and of perception. We do well to ask ourselves hard questions such Why are We Here, where are we going? And what is life’s purpose?
@lagomholly 21 күн бұрын
I’m glad I’m not the only one!😅 In all seriousness though I think it’s important to ask questions not only for clarity but also to ensure continuous learning and development! If we just accept things as they are we’d never grow or evolve and that’s one of the most special elements of life in my view😊 Of course questioning in healthy doses too as I’ve come to find too much can cause an equal amount of distress as there’s always a question to be asked no matter what😂 Reminds me of a toddler/child who asks their parents “but why?” Constantly🤣 Sometimes we have to accept some questions never have finite answers and that’s just part and parcel of life’s wonder😄
@harryjamessmithmusic7762 26 күн бұрын
Beautiful video, Holly! ... Well, I never wanted to fit in; I've always been the outsider. But that's fine with me. And I am still kind of the outsider because I am the only one in my family who graduated from the university. The only time I wanted to fit in was years ago when I bought this nice British winter coat at Tesco. In the nearest city, no one cared, but when I came back to my small town, I felt out of place and was attracting too much unwanted attention. So, I bought a casual jacket to 'fit in' with my town's norm. lol ... But I don't care about this anymore. lol ... Have a nice day! Greetings to the UK!
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Thank you Harry and I'm glad to hear! It's very refreshing hearing someone content in their own skin and happy as they are! 😊 Wishing you all the best and greetings to you too! ☺
@harryjamessmithmusic7762 24 күн бұрын
@@lagomholly Thank you so much! Cheers!
@annetteaughney9182 19 күн бұрын
Well i stopped genuinely worrying what people think of me. Because i know i would have to change to fit in, and i like who i am now. I'm just me, nothing fancy but thats perfect for me. If i catch myself envying something someone got, i think about it and usually say, i didn't want or need that so whats the big deal. I forget in minutes. Had to train myself though!
@lagomholly 14 күн бұрын
Well said! I love that mindset☺️ It’s something that takes time to develop I agree but the most liberating and powerful feeling🫶✨
@tolisk.5002 17 күн бұрын
You help a lot of people!
@lagomholly 14 күн бұрын
Thank you very much!🥹🫶
@산림치유 26 күн бұрын
Have a beautiful day!
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
Thank you, you too!😊✨
@colorsofavon934 26 күн бұрын
💖
@eliotk 27 күн бұрын
Did you spill any of that tea during filming? Ha ha as your cup was moving around a lot, it was starting to make me nervous
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
I was sipping on most of it between shots, so fortunately there was only a little left in the cup!🤣
@julesm9081 26 күн бұрын
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💜💜
@user-cu8lw1uc5w 27 күн бұрын
Hi 🌿🍃 have a beautiful day🌱 lagom and see you soon🔆🕊
@lagomholly 26 күн бұрын
Thank you for watching🫶✨
@Fulfill_Your_Potential 27 күн бұрын
I think some amount of "doing" can be good for wellbeing. For example, studying psychology contributes to my need for exploration and purpose. What do you think of this?
@letterbox203 26 күн бұрын
I like what you’re saying
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Yes I agree with that for sure otherwise we would remain stagnant and not grow. Paradoxically "being" and "existing" when done correctly still lead to progress e.g. reflection, meditation, gratitude and self-growth 😊
@user-gm1kl6xy4m 27 күн бұрын
God first
@philipholding 27 күн бұрын
There is no such thing as an authentic self. Don't believe me For one day only. Perhaps note down all the social interactions you have, and notice how ( or not), social environments/situations influence you or alter your behaviour Do we behave the same way in a work environment, as at home, or in church, pub, football match, night club, bus stop, in a car, etc. Be honest Is there a true you ?
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
I think that question is a philosophical rabbit hole I couldn't possibly touch on in this video! But although questions like that are prudent, for me living authentically is living in alignment with our own values and beliefs and being able to recognise when these are being influenced by an external factor as I touched on. Yes we may act differently in different social settings/environments but one thing that will never change is our core beliefs and values underneath what is perceived externally. For me that's what it means to live as our authentic selves 😊
@philipholding 22 күн бұрын
@@lagomhollyHi thanks for your reply. As a ( retired) high intensity NHS psychotherapist ( BSc Psych, MSc CBT), one of my competencies, was to help patients restructure their negative core beliefs (schema's). If our core beliefs are fixed, then CBT would be pointless.
@davem1564 18 күн бұрын
Hello Holly, I hoped you are doing well and spending time with your father on his special day. This was the way to reach out to you. Thank you for all you have done 🫶🙏
@lagomholly 18 күн бұрын
Thank you! I hope you’re well too and had a lovely weekend!☺️✨
@andy_intruder 25 күн бұрын
Oh Holly, I can just imagine you as a Cavewoman haha. 🤣🤣 For sure you'd be the most beautiful Cavewoman by far but hey, just keep being the sweetest, caring and loving young woman that you are, you're an absolute 'STAR' as always. To be honest I couldn't give two hoots what others may think of me, I know i'm a good person and that's all that matters. Take care, hope your weekend was a good one Holly and keep smiling 😊😊😊😊❤❤
@lagomholly 24 күн бұрын
Haha probably in my element being outside all the time! 😂 Though caves can get very cold so I'm not sure how I'd fair with that lol! 😆 Thank you for your kind words and support as always though Andy! Really glad you enjoyed this and are living authentically. Wishing you the best! ✨
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