Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles Excerpt from JOCKOPODCAST 49
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@jessephillips33344 жыл бұрын
NEVER let someone else turn their problems into your problem.
@VerMirror3 жыл бұрын
Unless you want to have a business. That is one of the times when it is ok.
@easterlee21433 жыл бұрын
@@VerMirror It also depends on whether it is a worthy deal or not.
@maravilloso0022 жыл бұрын
problem dumpers. They moan and complain to garner attention, sympathy, commiseration, ego stroking, agreement, and submission ultimately.
@iamtheteapot74059 ай бұрын
NEVER say never
@billybongthornton7776 ай бұрын
Something my dad always said about working with people like that, “you’re not married to them, so don’t take their problems home with you.”
@user-qp6vg9ho8u3 жыл бұрын
Most passive aggressive people are very insecure. The whole passive aggressive thing is just smoke and mirrors game to hide these insecurities
@dawiedarling2 жыл бұрын
tough. we're on a job. we're adults I'm not your therapist. If you think that I am, pay that rate.
@weszillich28802 жыл бұрын
So true, and they're intimidated and or jealous
@stomper54322 жыл бұрын
Your gonna get hurt thinking like that
@ax37922 жыл бұрын
@@dawiedarling You just admitted that not only are you passive aggressive, but you’re aware of it. So basically, you’re an a$shole. Got it.
@bl83882 жыл бұрын
Makes it hard to empathize when your passive aggressive supervisor continues to disrupt your work then report you for the disruptions. I don't have enough time in the day to talk to him about it, document everything he does, and just focus on the job I would love to focus on.
@tomquinn6074 жыл бұрын
Most passive aggressives will deny it when you call them out and try to make it seem like you are the problem.
@lukeoldfield79403 жыл бұрын
aka gaslighting!.. correct.
@pippipster6767 Жыл бұрын
💯
@qaareeshaw2220 Жыл бұрын
So ight boom I had to help a coworker out and it was no problem as always im there to work no doubt and I had to help one individual that I was cool with since I started working last year.. so this woman asked for this pallet jack so boom im tryna give her the pallet Jack dude I was cool with jumped in front of me eager to give it to her showing off im like bruh you deadass why would you dodge in front of me.. so ight then the shift was ova 5 minutes later in my mind I was like im finna approach him so that's what I did.. I pulled him to the side cuz ion like making no scene that's too extra. So im asking him why he did what he did and he was acting oblivious to it.. we boutta leave now and he was like "you felt some type of way" I was yea I feel some type then he was like don't talk to me nomore so I'm like ight bet then the same woman asked me to do a survey as that occurred this dude tried to walk up on me like he was finna do something I had my forearm on em boutta push him but that woman was right there behind me tellin me come do this survey and go do what you gotta do after so I told dude wait for me outside and ian see him out there at all.. It been on my mind I just needed to talk to you about it I already talked to some family members i be thinking before I do things the moment that happened I thought about God.. God had a Angel right there and said naw it ain't even worth it Qaa..
@steveshelton3081 Жыл бұрын
@qaareeshaw2220 Hey young brother. I'm dealing with this too. If you want to talk man, feel free to hit me up
@bumihijau56708 ай бұрын
Yes this is so true. When I confront them, they deny the fact that they are ignoring you and in turn giving excuse that you are the problem instead.
@JulioGonzalez-yc2wu4 жыл бұрын
Passive aggressive people are cowards with a hostile mentality.
@Ken92844 жыл бұрын
That’s why I can’t stand them. I have such a hatred for cowards.
@TheRocketman1364 жыл бұрын
can confirm. Was raised by one. Pathetic and hazardous beings.
@isaacmendes12564 жыл бұрын
Copy.
@isaacmendes12564 жыл бұрын
@nlpjohn mothers and fathers can both be dog shit or one or the other. Get over your parents programming.
@isaacmendes12564 жыл бұрын
@nlpjohn dude no one cares you're in KZfaq comments
4 жыл бұрын
Instructions unclear, whacked my friends against the tree and collected their saliva.
@Force1Com4 жыл бұрын
Lool
@Force1Com4 жыл бұрын
same fucking thing I was thinking while listening to this. Like... is this shit really going to work? Probably not
@Force1Com4 жыл бұрын
Don't you miss the old days when you could actually fix problems by fighting, and it was all of the gaaay ass you can't touch me shit?
4 жыл бұрын
@@Force1Com The more I go to martial arts training, the more I realize how much I missed this rough-and-tumble play with guys when I was a kid. It made me weak :/
4 жыл бұрын
@NM D. Easier to collectively spit at someone when your friends are dead.
@Tylerish1014 жыл бұрын
Boy From Arkansas: Whacks snake against tree. Snake: I trust you now.
@filipskotnica9714 жыл бұрын
Snake? Come in snake!? Snaaaake!!!!
@razaz034 жыл бұрын
This needs more likes... and any snake joke you guys can muster tbh
@thac0twenty3774 жыл бұрын
hahahahhaha
@Johnconno4 жыл бұрын
Is that known as The Bill Clinton Approach?
@WhiteKeys0074 жыл бұрын
@@Johnconno hahahahahaha damn why didn't I see this one coming? Nice one!
@JoshLewisGrowth4 жыл бұрын
Ask passive aggressive people to define their terms. Such as: “What do you mean by that?” Or “Why are you saying that?” Call them on their passiveness - point it out - it will be uncomfortable for both of you - but every time I have done this the person knows that they will be called on it and we are able to get quicker to what that person is trying to say. Try it - also - don’t be afraid to call it out. Passive aggressive people are always mostly just hurt and afraid of being more hurt. Remember that.
@firghteningtruth71734 жыл бұрын
Well said.
@jesuslovespee3 жыл бұрын
Wise, bro.
@BabylonPatrol3 жыл бұрын
Your methods assume equal power or that they are the weaker party and that they are open to be reached. Where passive aggression thrives, however, such as with home-makers, slow workers and many places which demand compliance [like school] it's often unclear what the fallout will be and especially how by-standers will side. In that, passive aggression is not only illegitimate frame control but also a very real threat, since you can assume often that this is habituated and therefore highly refined behavior as well the last habitable resort for that person.
@gtdadof103 жыл бұрын
@@BabylonPatrol You're letting outside pressures overwhelm the influence you're able to bring to bear. Stop the excuses for your own benefit. Lotta fancy verbiage though, well done on that
@BabylonPatrol3 жыл бұрын
@@gtdadof10the 'fancy verbiage' 'compliment/insult' makes for a nice example of passive aggressiveness in writing, really here in the function to excuse you're inability to respond to the content of the reservations. your assumption is that i'm talking about management of passive-aggressiveness under my responsibility to respond to. since you know nothing of my circumstances, i believe this is excessive and, in this case, wrong. however, to your point, that one should not allow reflection and empathetic response to limit impact of interventions: my personal life experience suggests that this is naiv & dangerous. my prediction for this type of attitude would be that you're the type of bully that gets his/her way for a while but ends up with a life full of hidden enemies, divorce, sabotaged projects etc. that such results are due to that would appear to be verifiable by changing circumstances, once this attitude is modified.
@ExtremelyTastyBread4 жыл бұрын
"Bring it out in the open. Expose the ambush." That's it right there
@laprepper3 жыл бұрын
Unless going over your boss's head upsets them even more which it tends to no matter what the reason
@jdt89833 жыл бұрын
I want to get to Jockos level where it doesn't bother me. I'm actually embarrassed with myself when insecure people make me insecure. Great advice!
@GodIsLove4478 күн бұрын
How's the journey going bro?
@denebvegaaltair11463 жыл бұрын
The really horrible thing when we face passive aggressiveness is that we always take the first hit. We don't expect it and often don't figure out what the snake is doing until a minute later.
@Josh-rn1em2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. So always be prepared. Be on guard but with confidence you can handle the situation.
@roseadams80032 жыл бұрын
How about two days later lol
@darryld14875 ай бұрын
So true.
@fluffyclouds555Ай бұрын
How bout we let it ruin our weekends when they occur at 5pm on Friday
@TASconfidential4 жыл бұрын
At work, and in business, the best way to deal with a snake is to destroy them. Here’s how: 1.) in the workplace, make allies through your work, build relationships and gain their trust. Once you get more creditors from your peers and leaders (the ones that matter), than your enemy, then you have an advantage over your enemy. 2.) Document everything, keep emails, notes, and tabs on everything, but do it privately. 3.) Don’t respond to sarcasm, ever. 4.) Find as many faults in the enemy as you can. Use their faults to your advantage, by excelling in things that they are weak in. Combine all of these things together, and you’ll eliminate the snakes, or they’ll fall back and leave you alone.
@karnyt5843 Жыл бұрын
How the fuck does this comment not have a fuck ton of upvotes. I admire and totally look up to jocko and have implemented alot of his teachings which has improved my life greatly. Its just this particular take on passive aggressive people is not the same in army and workplace/school etc. Its very different cause a lot of the time you aren't in the same team / objective as them. So your tips are very spot on. Infact I came to the same conclusion that if I just excell at this job and become the top employee while maintaining good relationship with people that actually matter than the snakes won't be a problem in the near future. I'm definitely screenshot ing your tips, thanks.
@ImRefraction11 ай бұрын
That's... Let me know how that goes for you
@pinoyclasico89324 ай бұрын
Best strategy I found so far..
@davidkonevky7372 Жыл бұрын
Passive Agressive are the two worst things you can be in life, hostile and cowardly. If you're going to be hostile, at least go all the way, instead of using sneaky tactics to keep your reputation
@fluffyclouds555Ай бұрын
Exactly. Say what you mean
@danieldpa84843 жыл бұрын
“I have high hopes on people but no expectations” Brilliant 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
@j.d.t.57612 жыл бұрын
"Hurt people hurt people."- Kendrick Lamar, 2021.
@AlyssaIrvine4 күн бұрын
He isn't the first to coin that phrase. There are earlier references to it than Kendrick.
@aikishugyo4 жыл бұрын
"They're attacking your ego". Oh man, that just clicked for me.
@Mokimanify4 жыл бұрын
I. " Snakes " don't ever stop trying to bite or " poison " you. A dismembered snake head will continue to bite. II. They have a personality disorder and you are not going to fix it, or make them think anything other than what they want to think. III.Snakes want to think they are better than you. IV. Snakes will always think they are better than you and will always look for an opportunity to bite you; if only to satisfy a need for their own sick self gratification.
@toastymarket40894 жыл бұрын
The solution is fire... and intolerance.
@adecentman52174 жыл бұрын
What should you do if one of these "snakes" does end up "biting/poisoning" you... I had my first personal experience recently dealing with these types, and unfortunately, I have been poisoned. I can't seem to get over all the little passive aggressive bs has been doing (i.e. repeatedly "pretending" to stab me with a knife, spreading complete gossip and lies at work - which he ended up getting me fired from...the subtle condescending tone and the way he frames his questions to me, very undermining and disrespectful) I reallllllllly want to do something stupid to this pos, which I know to be stupid. There has to be a better way, to get back at this sorry motherfucker. What did you do, to restore peace to your conscience/soul after it has been poisoned? (Sorry for the long post, gotta let this shit out...)
@Mokimanify4 жыл бұрын
@@adecentman5217 CBTs
@Mokimanify4 жыл бұрын
@@toastymarket4089 No .. the fire is the reaction they want and your suffering is what gives them gratification. Sooty as it is .. they are conniving and there is nothing you can do .. complain and your're the one that is seen as intolerant.
@beck39914 жыл бұрын
You need to know the difference between a snake and a sociopath. Most people can be positively influenced
@unclebuckshot89964 жыл бұрын
Have better stuff going on in your life than the person and situation your dealing with. Boom bam done
@TacoMexxx2 жыл бұрын
Yes, people with that low frequency are no bueno. Staying busy is key 🗝️
@alexneil3942 жыл бұрын
What blanket solution. There’s some situations in life where “staying busy” doesn’t work. Especially when u live with that person. I’m guessing your some one in their late 40s
@KyngD4692 жыл бұрын
True currently working for me. But damn he is annoying.
@nickdef63662 жыл бұрын
@@alexneil394 here’s some weirder advice, if it’s a family member or someone you value, apologise profusely whether it’s your fault or not. Ask them to open up about it and apologise
@alexneil3942 жыл бұрын
@@nickdef6366 hmm that would actually work. Like reverse psychology. Low key brilliant advice
@erikjarandson54584 жыл бұрын
Remain calm and patient. Make your decisions and choices based on the facts and arguments. Appear oblivious to their power games. There's a certain likelihood that they'll never affect you in any real way. However, pay close attention. The one concession to not letting them affect your choices is that you mustn't allow yourself be maneouvered into a defenseless position, a position where you're entirely dependent of factors that they can control or predict. Study their methods, figure out their motivations, and learn to predict their games. If things get serious, they'll start building a device (trap, case, coalition) against you. Make sure you can match it with both defence and offense. In this case, a good defence may be the best offense; failure will expose them, and they don't do well in the open. Thinking that you're oblivious, they'll be surprised by any competence you show. At some point, you may want to show a little of your hand, as a warning, to prevent confrontation in the first place, but never show your full hand. If it does come to a confrontation, show no quarter. You can't make peace with snakes. Expose them completely, leaving them no weapons, or get them out of your life completely, or gain complete dominance over them in the shared arenas. Importantly, make sure you're right, and that they really are snakes. A strategy that works well against snakes will get you killed against a grizzly. Really, though, I'm not sure dealing with people like this can be taught. This level of analogy (snakes and grizzlies) are a sure indication that there are a lot of difficult judgement calls involved. Defeating "snakes" has a lot to do with controlling yourself, rather than anything or anyone else. It comes with time, in part from general maturity, and in part from experience. I guess the only really useful advice is in my first sentence: "Remain calm and patient." I'm not deleting everything else I wrote, though. I should, but I won't. It took me several minutes to write that, and I'm not replacing it with just four words. If anyone is still with me, replace it in your mind. Also, my apologies.
@thundergrace4 жыл бұрын
I'm always being taken advantage of!! What do I do???
@Nessal834 жыл бұрын
Holy fuck I literally was going to say the EXACT same thing as you. I'm a fucking PRO at dealing with passive aggressive coworkers and you are spot on. There is no single tool to battle against them but you need miriad of weapons. Unfortunately, I feel that one cannot just be taught but they need to go through and experience it in order to hone that skill.
@Nessal834 жыл бұрын
@@thundergrace depends on your situation but to phrase it most simply, "Nut up". Your situation might not be what we call PA, but to stop bullies you first have to find it in you to put a stop in it. You're probably a YES man(woman) and until you learn to say NO, you will always get the short end of the stick. Until you find the courage in you to do that, I'm afraid and words of wisdom will be lost on you. Many times, it is yourself who is your worst enemy.
@davidcardinal36544 жыл бұрын
Just have a recorder nearby and record them being passive aggressive. Record them enough and get their ass fired. If you can implicate anyone else then implicate them. You cannot win with these people any other way in the workplace. They know how to stir drama and turn everyone against you if you piss them off. So make sure you do this quietly.
@TomikaKelly4 жыл бұрын
Very good advice
@m.taylor70254 жыл бұрын
"if you don't play with the snakes, you don't get the antivenom". God damn, Jocko... You're like the everyman's Confucius. Powerful words.
@leocarloenad41044 жыл бұрын
Can we have jocko wear a shirt with echos face on it. As always, you guys are always awesome and on point.
@Alex-pf7gg4 жыл бұрын
Leo Carlo Enad thinking the exact sane thing haha
@Martijn_Steinpatz4 жыл бұрын
Or Echos's biceps lol
@ACKmusic954 жыл бұрын
I think there is a “DaNg” shirt on the Jocko store.
@charlesmateker81314 жыл бұрын
Heres a poster for you. www.jockostore.com/collections/accessories/products/jocko-black-white-drawing-print-from-drawings-without-borders
@n1c984 жыл бұрын
Ha you read my mind. I was just going to say they should come out with a shirt for Echo
@mattm96184 жыл бұрын
He ran with the snake analogy so much...i really thought he was explaining how to handle snakes
@Eris1234514 жыл бұрын
That's as far as I got before my Bullshitometer went off.
@mackhomie64 жыл бұрын
yeah. what a load of nonsense. what the hell was he even talking about? play the game? get the anti venom? to accomplish the mission with snakes? defanged ones?
@mackhomie64 жыл бұрын
@@several_revolution5317I don't think a single one of those was quite right lol
@mackhomie64 жыл бұрын
@@several_revolution5317 _playing the game_ (in this context) is the choice to engage these people on their level, as opposed to withdrawing entirely to the "moral high ground." and in so doing, flipping everyone the proverbial bird.
@blzefancy68324 жыл бұрын
You just take shit litteral when there's bigger meaning behind the words don't even comment if you have nothing nice to say
@tauceti83413 жыл бұрын
This is a big problem for me, just the cuddly giant. I don't like confrontation. Love being motivated and working, to 'get ahead'. I often get front loaded with others work, get behind. Then axed. I used to get extremely upset for getting played, why don't others see my value. They do, but they see it when I'm gone when they have to do their work again. Understanding the metaphor of "Flank, or be Flanked" has really helped me a lot. Just understanding my personality, and not letting it be absued, but still, that friendly open atmosphere, welcoming and inspiring others with my enthusiasm. Go get it bruisers!
@BabylonPatrol2 жыл бұрын
hurts to hear, bro! can't help but feeling your cheerful optimism is misplaced. would be great if you had 6 older brothers in the Russian Mafia or at least a boss to hold their hand over you...
@hipqban1694 жыл бұрын
Jocks was finally disciplined enough to pay the electric bill
@danialteaches4 жыл бұрын
What an interesting way to interact with passive aggression. Not letting it tick you off. Amazing.
@@Adronitis I was 100% being genuine. But reading my original comment over with a specific tone I can understand how one would come to that conclusion.
@dougyeefresh874 жыл бұрын
It throws them off because they aren't expecting it. You act like everything is ok it's kinda reverse psychology.
@rominatalks4 жыл бұрын
“Hey what the fucks the problem?” solves a lot
@SugaryPhoenixxx3 күн бұрын
XD I wish I wasn't such a people pleaser because I would definitely like to say that. But I generally choose my battles & avoid confrontation unless I deem it absolutely necessary. Not burning bridges & whatnot. But I'm close to my wits end with someone in my life right now. Hence why I am watching this video.
@GabrielleSWalker2 жыл бұрын
I’m listening to this taking mental notes but also thinking this is so sick. I’m annoyed that I’m having to deal w a family member who’s like this but I appreciate the self growth and knowledge I’m gonna gain. 💪🏾
@tukolo54083 жыл бұрын
Passive aggressive tactics are the easiest to deal with. Just take them literally or ignore them.
@Twelly93 Жыл бұрын
Literally did this with a coworker that was being passive aggressive towards me. Eventually she finally broke down because I would flat out ignore her. Finally told me point blank that she hated me (which I already knew) and walked away lmao. She was pissed. Never bothered me again after that
@Daniel-from-Texas4 жыл бұрын
10:02 - "They're attacking your ego." Wow, this one got me. Thank you
@RiseAgainst7864 жыл бұрын
So relatable. My childhood best friend is a passive aggressive asshole (somewhat) and the best way to deal with him is by 1) Don't hold onto his invalid criticisms like a grudge. 2) Don't have an ego 3) Be demeaning in their own way. Make it a point to rub it in their face when they need help. You might think this would sour relations but I've noticed PAs get pretty respectful once they realize you're going to act the same way to them. Compartmentalizing is key though. Don't go out being an asshole to everyone.
@lavillablanca3 жыл бұрын
Just like a dog which is all bark
@SeanAsheOfficial4 жыл бұрын
“You need the snakes because they eat the rats”. DANG
@steved91894 жыл бұрын
Jocko is on point when he talks about joining the snakes to make a "game" of it. Something I discovered in the work place. Don't try to beat them by takeing the "moral high ground" drop to their level and beat them with experience. It doesn't always look good but it'll tone them down and they will start to second guess themselves next time they decide to take "jabs."
@biddenharryass45733 жыл бұрын
Jocko would have a very different view if he didn't do a lap at the Pentagon - that is one soul sucking environment.
@darryld14875 ай бұрын
I dunno, dropping to their level sounds like an L to me. I think they want to see that so their thoughts about you are confirmed in reality. I think it's best to not drop to their level and instead just call them out from their passiveness, ask them directly why they felt the need to say that, or point out that it sounds passive aggressive, then the balls in their court to either man up and say what's really on their mind or lay down like the snake they are and be quiet. Example: I was at a girlfriends family party and I am socially awkward and didn't know anyone so I was mostly chatting to my girlfriend in the garden tent with others around. Her mum was known to be quite toxic and was watching me and i guess could tell I was socially awkward and decided to say to me loudly infront of everyone "why don't you speak to other people instead of just your girlfriend" and you could hear a pin drop as everyone in the tent went quiet and waited for my reply, so I replied "why are you trying to put me on the spot infront of everyone?" She squirmed and then smirked with a nod as if to say fair play, and didn't say anything. The others around laughed and gave me some respect cause they could see what she was trying to do too. My girlfriend afterwards told me she liked how I dealt with her mum, she's never seen anyone do that. Her mum stopped being toxic to me after that day. I dunno if it's the best route but that worked for me.
@tankfromsobo4 жыл бұрын
I ain't playing shit. Here's how to stop passive aggressive people. Be aggressive. The end.
@bimscutney12424 жыл бұрын
You destroy them with reason, facts, and rationality until you break their spirit.
@tidypeaches2 жыл бұрын
This.
@Wtahc2 жыл бұрын
@@tidypeaches This. how can you be such a fucking npc
@piotrkonieczynski2 жыл бұрын
All make sense if you deal with normal people. Not with egoistic compulsive liar OCD mix. You will never make them think like should. It is even wasting energy to try to do.
@Wtahc2 жыл бұрын
@@piotrkonieczynski XD
@josephschaefer91634 жыл бұрын
I like to be obviously ignorant to passive aggressive people. Just completely ignore what they want til they break down and tell it to you straight. Then respond positively, which shows them that not being passive aggressive works
@joncetolley89464 жыл бұрын
It seems that the passive aggressive person has something to say, but won't/can't directly communicate their idea in a direct manor. Intimidation, lack of will, or lack of knowing how to communicate it seems would be the driving force in someone acting passive aggressive. For those of us who have to deal with this kind of behavior, Jockos idea of putting your ego in check is the key. It might feel like a direct jab (which might be the intention), but as a leader, being able to not responding in a defensive way and being able to identify this allows you to give these people a chance to actually learn how to communicate what it is that they need to say. Maybe after a few rounds of this(bringing the passive aggressive to the open), they will begin to learn how to communicate in a more direct way, instead of indirectly creating snide remarks designed to jab that don't bring productivity to the table.
@Marcotonio4 жыл бұрын
But that only applies to situations where you need the person or want to help them, right? Cause on the Internet I'm frequently pushing passive-aggressive people to their limits, making them either A) admit they don't care about the subject at hand (it's just an excuse to lash out at X) by decomposing their line of thought or B) that they have such issues described by you and inviting them (although rather poignantly) to say what they really mean to say. My opinion is different from the hosts in the sense that I don't think people change that easily/quickly, so finishing the job and them removing the snakes from the team would be a better solution. I don't need them for their venom if I'm willing to deal with the rats myself.
@joncetolley89464 жыл бұрын
@@Marcotonio I think we'd want to help them, even if they don't want to help their selves. Sometimes that help is by getting rid of them, because they are not willing to grow and end up stifling themselves and the team. I agree that most people don't change easily/quickly. I would say it depends on the severity of the situation/mission, and the leader has to make a decision on whether or not the individual has potential to grow, or if they are just a hindrance to themselves and the people around them.
@MichaelRodriguez-vl8by2 жыл бұрын
There’s times where questions and thoughts flood my mind and nearly drive me insane trying to figure out why people treat me the way they do. “Why do I have to change the way I feel? Why can’t they just leave me alone? I know if I act just like them they’ll leave me alone but I don’t want to become the monster.” It was nice to silence the negative thoughts by being able to listen to this video and hear this guys perspective on this topic. Thanks dude 👍🏽
@kylevanalstyne3292 жыл бұрын
Passive aggressive is just weakness. If you’re strong minded and can walk away and make a stronger decision, you’re one step closer.
@Chris-tg3qy4 жыл бұрын
Great advice when you deal with this person periodically or short term. I have found they need continuous propping up and recognition. Can be very exhausting if you have to collaborate on a regular basis and their passive aggression becomes undermining.
@Joshdifferent6 ай бұрын
💯🗣️‼️
@littleripper3124 жыл бұрын
Would like to know how to deal with passive aggressive friends and family more. People who will for example not talk to you without saying whats wrong or will block you for a month when they get pissed and don't even tell you why. I'm more of a direct person and will just say when there's an issue I'm having and I'm finding a lot of friends and family play these passive aggressive games. I find it annoying and tend to not acknowledge the behaviour so if a friend is mad and won't tell me I don't chase them or give into their game. I've told family and friends to be direct and tell me when there's an issue but there just some people who are too used to being passive aggressive and would rather give you the silent treatment.
@humilis424 жыл бұрын
I can’t do it. If I don’t like you, I won’t be around you I absolutely loathe fake people.
@mario62794 жыл бұрын
Same unless I want something from that person lol or need to get through them in order to achieve something. I’ll play as “Steve Irwin” all day! In general I am the same ide rather be alone than in misery with others
@phoenixkinghorn52334 жыл бұрын
fuck i hate fake people too
@LitoGeorge4 жыл бұрын
Fake people simply aren't worth it. Team or not.
@AMANRA34 жыл бұрын
I literally cannot pretend to like someone lmao!! I'm like bitch were not on the same level. You evade. I deal with shit head on. No tip toeing like a little bitch. Come out with it. And snakes might get the rats but I'm killin everyone head on.
@firghteningtruth71734 жыл бұрын
@@AMANRA3 apply directly to the forehead.
@keithdrummond10034 жыл бұрын
Currently working from home b/c of the whole social distancing thing. I answer phones and answer IT questions all day. My roommate decides to chime in on my call. He says loudly, "do you have to talk that loud?" I was talking quieter than when he and I talk. I responded with, "I talk to customers on the phone. " The next two days, he keeps talking louder and louder, each day. Pretty passive aggressive, to me. I was told that if you can, avoid toxicity. I simply moved to another room. My thoughts were, I have a job to do. This is an obstacle, sure. But not one I must engage. Go around if possible.
@kevinfulham27623 жыл бұрын
This guy has read the 48 laws of power
@deannalauren72554 жыл бұрын
I can apply this with my family. This is perfect for me right now to be able to keep things rolling for myself and those I really care about. "If we're on a team, why are we going against each other". I can get over my ego no problem. Thank you.
@filipskotnica9714 жыл бұрын
Snake? Come in snake!? Snaaaake!!!!
@poobs23614 жыл бұрын
I've worked with my fair share of snakes, not even in the military I'm talking about civilian workers. I have bent over backwards and swallowed my tongue more times than I can count, and painful as it is to say, Jocko is absolutely right on this one. You HAVE to play the game. My job has always been backend roles where my work isn't directly recognized meanwhile the people I support basically get treated like superstars. This creates alot of resentment and hostility between departments and it took me a while to figure out that getting frustrated and defensive does nothing but drive the rift further and further apart. So what does one do in this situation? Observe, learn, adapt. When this coworker becomes frustrated with me, I find out why and explain to him why his solution isn't possible and then we meet somewhere in the middle. If he's overburdened or struggling, I accept some of his workload even if it inconveniences me. When he accepts some of my responsibility and gets it done in an acceptable manner, I thank him and make sure I recognized his efforts, no matter how small or insignificant (this one works more than anything else to be completely honest). If you're passing by him, smile or wave, even if they don't do the same back. Include them in conversation as much as possible to try and integrate them with the team, possibly even find common ground in passing conversation. Above all, take the snarky and snide remarks in stridel; they are expecting a reaction to reaffirm their beliefs of you, the easy solution is just don't give it to them. In short, where they are passively aggressive you want to be aggressively assertive. 9 times out of 10 a team player comes out the other side. The last guy is just an asshole you can kind of ignore until he decides he wants to be a part of the team or be bitter and alone.
@jasonwallace29204 жыл бұрын
When living in a society run by Psychopaths (i.e., a Psychopathic Society), people will tend to take on Psychopathic Traits.
@user-eg4ym7gl4y4 жыл бұрын
I like this comment. I am more confident that we're inching towards end times. Evil is celebrated, good is persecuted.
@Powershift3r4 жыл бұрын
@@user-eg4ym7gl4y it's been that way forever, though.
@thac0twenty3774 жыл бұрын
it'll pass. everything does
@Johnconno4 жыл бұрын
@@thac0twenty377 Not this time...
@beckonerseven95173 жыл бұрын
@Eric Miret Nice gaslighting. You're either hilariously naive, or you're part of the Cluster B hivemind trying to keep your brood hidden.
@balddog6424 жыл бұрын
Great distinction between hope and expectation.
@IshmaelDoe4 жыл бұрын
Jocko, thanks for this video. It is always frustrating when I have been trying to improve myself since years ago, and I never quite figure out dealing with people like this, and what you said, and your energy make it clear how and why we should do it. I feel the world for the most part is not a good place, and is people like you (and Echo) that give me hope. Take good care, you are a good man.
@childofearthandstarryheave66604 жыл бұрын
I don't have the energy to play games, play along, charm snakes etc 😐
@PunkMartyr2 жыл бұрын
So much this lol.
@yinyang74122 жыл бұрын
Same, and I also refuse to make/waste the energy to do those things.
@monanoorchaalida3243 Жыл бұрын
??
@valerie16534 жыл бұрын
Might be my favorite video of theirs so far. I’ve struggled with that same question for so long 🤣 thank you guys!
@thundergrace4 жыл бұрын
Thanks....I am encouraged watching and listening....am thankful that I was inspired by Jocko and echo....regarding my recent interview....your talks gave me courage! So thanks...and praying I'm hired....I never felt more confident ....thanks....
@laustephanie9290 Жыл бұрын
Really enjoy learning all these, appreciate how Jocko is sharing all these skills, thoughts and healthy mindsets. Why he seems to know everything
@trevorpeters43584 жыл бұрын
I feel jocko believes you can do better if you try. He believes in a better life. 🗽
@theseeker49114 жыл бұрын
"Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff" ;)
@chasetheoutdoors74694 жыл бұрын
Thanks very much for this guys. Y’all really help me with your podcast.
@josephswanson68544 жыл бұрын
Jocko, this was awesome. Echo, you too. Thank you. Great message.
@AlexanderRodriguez-ww1lk4 жыл бұрын
Today’s society tells you that treating your boss, coworkers, clients, etc, with patience & tolerance is brown-nosing & being fake; because the real you would “blow up” and wouldn’t take that crap from your family, friends, employees, etc. But the reality is that the real you is patient & tolerant..and when you do “blow up”...that’s just you being lazy. In the same way that you being 50 lbs heavier than you are now isn’t the real you...it’s just you being lazy. So it’s ok to be patient & tolerant, you can still get your point across, it just takes some work & some intellect...but that’s the real you...and the result is better for everyone involved.
@kephartacus54544 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a lot of wishful thinking.
@Max-zr7hr4 жыл бұрын
Well put
@AlexanderRodriguez-ww1lk4 жыл бұрын
Kephartacus - [ ] Positive thinking is nice, but this is more of an active effort to maintain self-control, whereby one can state a case and make their point calmly and/or professionally...without losing one’s composure & blowing up; because to do so would be the lazy option.
@felicia23984 жыл бұрын
Lovely comment and will store this in my noggin!
@MRJTD993 жыл бұрын
Spot on, my friend. Society doesn't value any semblance of discipline or self control anymore.
@matturner68904 жыл бұрын
It's really cool that once you understand what motivates passive aggression and similar behaviours, it allows you to get past it emotionally and truly observe what's happening, so you can react to it in a positive, constructive way. Thanks for your help, Jocko!
@kevinuc15143 жыл бұрын
what motivates them??
@JD-dm1pr4 жыл бұрын
That was outstanding and will be very helpful to me. Huge appreciation. Love you Jacko ... you inspire me!
@marceloamado62239 ай бұрын
Listening to you in times of despair brings me hope. Thank you truly! 💪
@jessc.134 жыл бұрын
I wish I listened to this podcast while i was active duty, im in the air guard now and this will help me w/ my future military career 👍🏽
@tiredsentinel17244 жыл бұрын
Great advice! Also reminds me that I need to check myself sometimes.
@user-ge2ei7ws3n4 жыл бұрын
Guys, this is probably a life changing video for me. Wish me luck) And by the way Echo sounds a bit like young Tyson) Thank you for your job! Godbless you!
@BenDover-zy8mv4 жыл бұрын
Mission failed, killed my boss. We'll get em next time!
@mjolninja93583 жыл бұрын
Gosh 🤣
@david1980894 жыл бұрын
I walk away bc all else will land me in county
@david1980894 жыл бұрын
@Crockett WELL PUT!
@mojohnson51344 жыл бұрын
Dave Tdog lmo
@billsteinberg68423 жыл бұрын
Not enough likes on this comment.
@shavedleggs53903 жыл бұрын
@Nathaniel Hall that's skill!
@AlastorTheNPDemon4 жыл бұрын
1. Expose 2. Befriend 3. Recruit
@joshua56694 жыл бұрын
4. Dominate
@thundergrace4 жыл бұрын
5.Noted
@brandonyankees14 жыл бұрын
6. Eat twinkies.
@AlastorTheNPDemon4 жыл бұрын
@Crockett Running away, in my opinion at least, is next to the last thing to do with one of these narcissists you describe. Giving ground to the enemy only invites him to take yet more ground. If it is war your narcissistic friend wants, it's war he will get. Read up on the _Art of War_ and apply its principles practically on this relationship - deception, allegiances, movement, action, you name it. These cockholsters don't deserve an inch of what's yours unless it serves to retake what's yours.
@AlastorTheNPDemon4 жыл бұрын
@Crockett I use the term "narcissist" about as technically as one can. It would fall under the antisocial personalities spectrum and refers to someone who is often above average intelligence and is completely selfish - involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. They're generally more agitating than dangerous, but some of them use this self-important disregard for humanity to create the illusion of authority and gain influence and ruin you in the process. Psychos and sociopaths are potentially worse, of course, since their antics are usually directed at individuals for raw enjoyment; you'll find a lot of them in positions of authority too. Strange how the human brain conflates abuse with right, hmm? As for the second post, you are largely right. After all, if a city is destroyed in pursuit of the destruction of a foe which requires far less effort, who is the bad guy here? The goal of any confrontation, from a defensive standpoint, is to break contact with the enemy as quickly as possible. Keep it that simple, and you have a much more manageable pool of options to choose from.
@j4v4x2 жыл бұрын
I'm glad Echo emphasized just how DIFFICULT it is to grind through that stupid game day after day after day. Really, the question isn't the "what" but the "how" of dealing with snakes, and the how is the hard part. fwiw
@Bikeadelic4 жыл бұрын
I dont think you realise how much this hurts to people who are no good at the game.
@kieranhimself36552 жыл бұрын
I think its worse than physical abuse
@corbettborcherds14372 жыл бұрын
To protect yourself from being 'fake', you really have to deal with the passive-aggressive with empathy, trying to help them, more than being challenging or confrontational. In that way they, amongst other things lose their fear of you and this serves as a building block of the process.
@sterlthepearl10004 жыл бұрын
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." (The Godfather Rule)
@monanoorchaalida849 Жыл бұрын
???
@nyeahgarner2420 Жыл бұрын
I don't trust anyone who believes that. "So I'm your enemy?"
@sterlthepearl1000 Жыл бұрын
@@nyeahgarner2420 Regardless if I said it or not. Nobody cares more about you than you.
@Lp-vw1lf25 күн бұрын
Hi guys! Listening to this was very helpful for me. I'm dealing with this at work and it's been unsettling. Your pointers about keeping my & the other person's ego in mind, when I encounter this type of behavior, is great advice! Many thanks!!
@tactical690r24 жыл бұрын
Pure truth. I've been living it for two decades.
@you8just4 жыл бұрын
It's true after a while you get a tolerance against their bullshit, but the stomach thing oh boy it burns.
@mheiseus2 жыл бұрын
Plus the biggest issue I have with these people is that they think everyone thinks like they do.
@Laudanum-gq3bl2 жыл бұрын
As much as possible, don’t engage with passive-aggressive people. Grey rock them and give them no ammunition.
@steelfist13054 жыл бұрын
In short: Tolerate them and read them constantly. You'll have them figured out and know how to control them (for the benefit of the team) in time.
@thundergrace4 жыл бұрын
I love Jocko!!
@kylevanalstyne3292 жыл бұрын
It's better to be a devil in alliance with the truth than an angel in alliance with falsehood.
@sebastiankuhnert36393 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you - what great life lessons you give!!!!
@gus83783 жыл бұрын
Jocko is so wise
@michaelbexarthomas6523 жыл бұрын
I like the term culture. When you travel in the grass there will be always be snakes with their own culture established. You are better off learning their customs so that you know when your in trouble or in the clear. This is awesome stuff. 🐍🇺🇸
@wheredidileavemycell4 жыл бұрын
BRILLIANT!!! good to remember, tough to accomplish.
@Yaahboi524 жыл бұрын
I agree w jocko. I know some people say to confront them about it but in some situations some people unconsciously make PA comments. They’ve done it so much that most times they don’t even think it through, so when you come at them like they have a full on problem with you they don’t take you seriously. If anything it causes them to continue to make PA comments towards you to trigger you, whether it works or not. From my experience some of the best things to do is sarcastically reply to their PA comment which tells them indirectly that you know what they’re doing or, flat out ignore what they say. Don’t even acknowledge that they made a comment towards you. When I’d do this to people whether they be friends, co-workers, etc. it shuts them down. I didn’t even acknowledge them or their comment so they just stopped doing it. Don’t get emotionally attached to the situation because that’s where you fail to address it. Play it cool, act like you’ve been in the situation before. Don’t bat an eye. people will slowly get the notion that their comments are irrelevant & won’t make them towards you. Most people who are PA are trying to get under your skin or snake their way into telling you something that they can’t tell you directly. You deal with people like that by being sarcastic back or not acknowledging that they’re even there. Just don’t put your energy towards something not worth investing it in. Plenty of other things you have to deal with that are much more worthy of investing your energy in.
@dawnt55874 жыл бұрын
I needed this. I’m not passive aggressive but I have a relative that is extremely passive aggressive. She is constantly on it. I need to learn how to handle it. I think in reality she is a very jealous person.
@visceralfate68034 жыл бұрын
Match a persons attitude. Never come off as an easy read.
@tomdoepker2 жыл бұрын
Needed this. Thank you both
@whoismds60024 жыл бұрын
that piece of content right there is gold!!! play their game so they can't no longer sting you and rub you the wrong way!
@blaney65914 жыл бұрын
Wow, I'm totally dealing with this issue at work. This was super-helpful.
@yigitsametunal25634 жыл бұрын
Can you turn on auto subtitles Jocko?
@nathanksimpson2 жыл бұрын
"Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16 This is Jocko in a Bible verse.
@DEDF44 жыл бұрын
Jocko and Echos banter and brotherhood is truly entertaining and heartwarming to watch. After four years of sitting across a table with eachother theyve really found eachothers weak points .... ahahaha
@DerbyMods4 жыл бұрын
Jocko: "It's the same thing here" Me: smacks everyone against tree Also Me: "nice."
@CA.0verview4 жыл бұрын
Oh man this podcast need to be heard at work everywhere
@cmattbacon78384 жыл бұрын
I learned a lot from this video thank you Jocko and Echo.
@presidenttrahan4 жыл бұрын
I love that part when Jocko kinda says, "Oh, score! I get to pump them up with an affirmative compliment."
@elizabethlink26314 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your podcasts. They help me out a lot. Learning how to get a spine. Been trying to get stronger mentally. Giving up is not an option. I've been trying to practice discipline as best as I can. I always fall short though. I keep doing the same things over and over again ,and it's frustrating as heck. I keep trying to avoid junk food, coffee. Trying to get out of my own head. Trying to figure out what my goal is ,and then when I start it ,I'm fine, but when depression hits, I go back to the same thing. I want to have a stronger mind. I want to wake up early, eat healthy, exercise ( my body hates exercise. I have to force myself to do it. ) I want to self improve, and stuff like that. I want all of it, but sometimes it feels like I don't even though I do ,because there haven't been good results, yet. I don't care how long it takes for me to get better with everything. I don't want to give up. No matter how hard the heavy weight of life is going to continue to be, I still want to carry it. I still want to fight. I still want to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't want to be weak anymore. I want to be positive about everything as best as I can. I'll still keep trying to be strong, and to think more on a positive scale. I'm going to keep practicing everything until I get it right.
@stevefaulkner66894 жыл бұрын
Is important to don't give up . Sounds like you have a plan.
@gamesonvhs59274 жыл бұрын
Deception in crucial in the art of war
@monanoorchaalida3243 Жыл бұрын
Ooo
@ilovebutterstuff4 жыл бұрын
I tried being a snake charmer. More than once. I still wound up in the "hospital". They will ALWAYS fuck you up, as soon as your back is turned, when you least expect it. I prefer to stay away.... "Bitch, you knew I was a snake!"
@HisBelovedSon70x74 жыл бұрын
I'm really appreciating your wisdom Jocko, thank you for passing on your knowledge and experience. I had a question regarding your comment near the end of the video. You briefly mentioned that you bring passive aggressiveness out into full on aggression. I would love to know how you would go about doing that and what circumstances dictate making that choice. Love you and Echo's work, thank you.
@mheiseus2 жыл бұрын
It’s just so hard to deal with people who act nice or ask questions to look for weakness/advantage. It’s difficult to be around someone who thinks about what to say to you. Those are the 2 biggest issues I have.
@jackhubert Жыл бұрын
What if they’re just uncomfortable or don’t know what questions to ask?
@diggie959811 ай бұрын
I'd argue that it's not them thinking about what to say, but rather what their intentions are. Wise and benevolent people tend to pick their words carefully, too.