How To Feel Confident In Any Social Situation

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How To Feel Confident In Any Social Situation

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Күн бұрын

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You know those times when you're getting ready to go to some kind of social event and you start to feel really uncomfortable, or even notice yourself dreading the whole thing because you don’t know who you're going to talk to or what you're going to talk about...
Today, on Good For Me TV, I'm going to teach you an acronym you can stick in your back pocket and use in any type of social situation: whether it's a business event, a networking event, a company party or any other social gathering.
This simple hack will help you know what to talk about in these types of situations. It''s a foolproof method for getting conversations started and keeping them going, so you can make those connections and feel more comfortable and connected everywhere you go.
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Пікірлер: 114

@willclarkneptune 6 жыл бұрын

My mind has been having a tendency to go blank in a lot of social situations. This is some good stuff to fallback on. Sometimes I feel totally hopeless about connecting with people... Like it's something I used to be able to do, but somehow through all of the stuff I've been dealing with, it's evaded me, and I fear not being able to get it back. Like I'm permanently locked out

@breannaswagerty7075 6 жыл бұрын

I COMPLETELY get this Henry. Been feeling the same way lately. I think it does come back when we find a new center.

@NoXeB1995 3 жыл бұрын

@@breannaswagerty7075 Same here, hate myself for my inept social skills. Really don't trust myself socially, which is terrifying.

@isse2171 2 жыл бұрын

Exactly the same for me. In sixth grade I used to be able to talk normally to people, but once seventh grade began I have been struggling to talk to people. I think about it all the time and overthink everything all the time.

@emilyboyle7240 2 жыл бұрын

i completely relate to this so much!!! like i don’t know how to do it anymore and like i used to want to talk to people and enjoy it but now i only feel comfortable socializing when my sister is present for some reason

@emilyboyle7240 2 жыл бұрын

@@isse2171 for me it was like sophomore year of high school

@phoebeherco 5 жыл бұрын

Hi Julia! New subbie here. ❤️ Just to help out fellow viewers: C.F.O.R.M. C - Connected - How are they connected to the event/host (if it's not obvious like in a party, etc.) F - Family - Ask them about their family and share your own stuff. Be interested in the other person. O - Occupation - (if it's not obvious) What is their job? How do they spend their days? R - Recreation - What do they do for fun? M - Motivation - What lights them up? What are they passionate about?

@Katie-jv8tk 5 жыл бұрын

CFORM, ask how they're Connected, about their Family, their Occupation, their Recreation, their Motivation. Summary at 9:12

@Drstrange3000 5 жыл бұрын

Please don't ask me about my "occupation." You will just frown and the conversation will get awkward lol. Saying you work retail is a real conversation killer 😬

@princessk5541 6 жыл бұрын

This was pretty good. I have alittle anxiety when meeting new people so I’ll definitely want to give this try Thank you so much

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Keana! :-)

@princessk5541 6 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling do you have a practice or website?

@calebereid Жыл бұрын

Same here!

@KamakaziPaparazzi 5 жыл бұрын

I am a southern girl...we are very friendly people, and often times very open. Except if someone asked me all of these odd personal questions, sounds more like a potential date would ask me...I would freaked out. I think so many of these questions are sort of invasive.

@staceykersting705 5 жыл бұрын

I'd def' feel as if I were talking with a therapist! lol

@samdal420 5 жыл бұрын

Same

@Weeble_Warbles 6 жыл бұрын

These are good pro-tips and I'm certain this works worth most people. The bad part with me is that I've always disliked people asking about my life ever since I was a early teenager. I think it stems from my parents over-sharing personal info and it has made me an incredibly private person. Which makes me want people to respect my privacy and not ask about me, so I treat other people how I want to be treated. Left alone. Probably a good reason why I have no network. Or I'm damaged in some other way. C'est la vie!

@Ganjasaurus 2 жыл бұрын

I can relate to this so much

@Weeble_Warbles 2 жыл бұрын

@@Ganjasaurus I’ve gotten worse. 🤣 Good luck with your endeavors! 👍

@justintorchia87 5 жыл бұрын

I been depressed ,you are breath of fresh air

@MissHannah2036 6 жыл бұрын

We like people who like us, aka show an interest in us. You want to find things in common with the person and then you're away. I get anxious just leaving the house sometimes. Definitely if I'm going for a night out, not knowing who will be there, what if know wants to talk to me, what if someone WANTS to talk to me. It always works out in the end though, it's that fear thing and pushing through it, just like dating 😜

@marksamuel9382 4 жыл бұрын

One of the points you made proves a point I saw in another video that suggested when we ask people questions about themselves then they are more receptive than if we simply inform them about ourselves.

@xiaohongwan4090 5 жыл бұрын

As a newcomer and non-native English speeker, I have always struggled with networking and interacting. I try to be the silent one in the group, but sometimes I would be pulled in the conversation. I would always try to answer questions carefully and clearly, but oftenly I would feel embarrassed the next day about how I had answered and speaked. Your video is very interesting and helpful to me.

@DrumWild 5 жыл бұрын

90s approach = "A/S/L check!" Sometimes I'll build a triangle between myself, a person or group, and a thing. _"Did you know that painting is 100 years old?"_

@britanny5363ify 6 жыл бұрын

It would be helpful for memorization purposes, if you flashed the acronym on the screen then each word as you’re talking about it.

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

It might be a good idea to write it down Britanny - and then you'll have it everywhere you go!

@miriamoppenheim 5 жыл бұрын

What WAS the acronym🤔

@breannaswagerty7075 6 жыл бұрын

Hands down best mental health channel I've seen so far. Thank you Julia Kristina. I love the easy acronym because social anxiety can cause us not to remember anything helpful at all in the moment. ❤ Thank you.

@Weeble_Warbles 6 жыл бұрын

"...don't want to be the one shoving your face full of food". Speak for yourself. Free food is free food.

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

Haha, touche!

@staceykersting705 6 жыл бұрын

HA HA! just got back from one of those...ya, free food

@miriamoppenheim 5 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling good for you, love your positivity and all the rest....

@vernaharris4700 3 жыл бұрын

😄

@billieteggers2661 6 жыл бұрын

Am I the only person who is suspicious of confident people?

@WhiteAngelLovesEarth 5 жыл бұрын

I can't answer to all these questions because I'm depressed and I am on zero in all aspects of life, including motivation. And I dislike being in social situations. :)

@michelleryan1861 6 жыл бұрын

Don’t ask do you have kids; it’s really triggering for involuntarily childless women

@MissHannah2036 6 жыл бұрын

yeah, I think the family one can go either way, lots of people might be dealing with childhood issues and/or relationship problems. Just by asking someone about their siblings can open a whole can of worms that people don't really want to deal with, especially a stranger.

@billieteggers2661 6 жыл бұрын

I can imagine. Also, it's a fairly dumb topic. Yeah we're here, but let's talk about our kids instead... My kid's a brain surgeon, my kid's in prison, mine just cut his first tooth. Not much mileage for a conversation here is there?

@DrumWild 5 жыл бұрын

I think that people who have triggers have a responsibility to themselves, as well as society, to find ways to deactivate those triggers. Keep in mind that if someone steps on your trigger, that they did not intend to step on it, and that YOU left it there. Chances are good that they are NOT out to pick on you, when they don't know this about you. My mother has problems when talking about us kids, ever since my little sister died at the end of June 2017 after her 48th birthday. My sister's death was rather fresh, and someone was asking her about her kids. She struggled a big, so I intervened and threw in some humor to derail the conversation. Later she said, _"I'm trying to re-learn how to talk about 'my boys' [me and my brother], because nobody wants to hear about your dead daughter."_ I do understand the difficulty. But expecting the entire world to change, to be aware, or to walk on eggshells is highly unrealistic. It can also result in your isolation. And I have my own issues to deal with, such as a recent diagnosis of Asperger's, which causes me to be brutally honest, to the point that it can cause pain to others. EVERYONE has a struggle. Everyone has issues. Everyone has problems. Everyone has weaknesses. If we all have to be perpetually cautious because everyone has triggers and does nothing about them, then we're not going to be having many conversations. This leads to isolation. I will agree in that it is not the best question, because it can go bad in so many ways. It is still a good idea for people to deal with their own issues and triggers. People cannot get inside if you do not let them. Do not leave an open door with a WELCOME mat for them.

@DrumWild 5 жыл бұрын

She made a video about dealing with triggers: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/f8-ol6yGs5aoYY0.html

@iarladonlon2826 5 жыл бұрын

Ah guys, if you think like this you'll never say anything!!

@unapologeticallymj 5 жыл бұрын

The money question made me laugh. For a moment I was really confused and in disbelief like: really, am I missing something, so now it's OK to ask people about money??? Good that I watched this video till the very end as otherwise it could be very awkward LOL.

@dramendiana373 6 жыл бұрын

Good ones! I use to think about myself as a shy person, (I can definitely be shy in many situations) but to my surprise, I find I can be really extrovert when stop making expectations and just be open to receive what the current situation has to offer me. That's the thing that works for me, being receptive, but is nice to have some "safe" topics in mind to make conversation. Good rescue from awkward silence. 😅 Love it! ☺

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

I LOVE this D.Z.C - being open and receptive to what life has for us - SO good!

@dramendiana373 6 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling 😊

@kasey77 5 жыл бұрын

People LOVE to talk about themselves. I have found a very few handful of people that have a 2 way conversation. Most people will incessantly talk all about their lives. It's boring and shallow.

@ericlind6581 6 жыл бұрын

But dialogue is a two way street. I find that after a while I'm the one that has to be the engaging one expressing interest and it gets fatiguing. Honestly a lot of people are just plain boring and it's not worth the effort in trying with them. Life is too short...

@MissHannah2036 6 жыл бұрын

It's funny how you can take a dislike to boring people, it's not as if they're not nice they're just boring :) my cousin often said her sister in law was boring, she was, you'd try and make conversation with her and it wouldn't go anywhere.

@ericlind6581 6 жыл бұрын

MissHannah2036 Well dislike is a bit strong. My point is that trying to have interesting discourse with someone that you can’t is an exercise in futility and imo just not worth trying.

@itsmolly0074 5 жыл бұрын

Eric Lind Lol.

@ericlind6581 5 жыл бұрын

Krxtina Em I’m just saying...

@miriamoppenheim 5 жыл бұрын

Totally agree. Been there done that!

@sassysandie2865 6 жыл бұрын

Now if I can just remember the acronym .

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

You can write it down ;-) F.O.R.M - just in case.

@ElinBodil 6 жыл бұрын

Hi! First I just wanna say thanks for your videos, I just discovered your channel (yesterday) and think you and what you are sharing is amaazing! :) About this topic - I'm a HSP and an introvert and absolutely hate going to social events where there's lots of new people. However I have done it a lot lately (to practice being uncomfortable) and it does get a bit easier. I tell myself that no one really cares about me, my appearance or how I'm acting or what I'm saying, because usually people are so busy about how THEY are acting, saying and appear. So I really just can relax and try to listen and be there for others. I have switched my focus from myself and try more to be there for others. It helps, and it's actually not that difficult!

@captaindan1000 5 жыл бұрын

That was such a good prank! I really believed that you were going to suggest talking about making more money on the side. But not by means of scamming people. But hey! I didn't see it coming because how would I have? Bravo Julia!!!!!!

@justintorchia87 5 жыл бұрын

fun ,funny ,real and beautiful.great spiritual vibe ,good content ,uplifting ,very impressive

@dotnb 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this Julia Kristina! Have a good day!

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! :-)

@michaelb1785 6 жыл бұрын

Great talk again. Going to have to work on being interested!

@User_92020 Жыл бұрын

I never ask what's thier occupation because they're gonna ask about my occupation and it gets kind of weird when I tell them I'm an actor in the adult film industry.

@chiarardn2401 5 жыл бұрын

That is so true! I've recently started a new job and on my very first day one of my new colleagues started chatting with me without even introducing herself and... boom! First thing she wanted to know, was how much money I was making in my previous job. I came away from that conversation thinking, Gee! What a weirdo!

@sylviaolivares5379 5 жыл бұрын

Very helpful...thank you!😊

@pault2178 5 жыл бұрын

Wise words ..ty so much

@mrskhazelton 6 жыл бұрын

I try to agree to things before my brain has time to convince me not too. Not everything of course, but if it is something that I want to do, say speak at an event around impaired driving or mental health when it comes to childhood trauma. I do keep my medication close at hand though in the even that I need it before the actual speaking part starts. ;)

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

I like that: "I try to agree to things before my brain has time to convince me not too." I think I do the same - and hate backing out of things, so it's a great strategy to help us step out of our comfort zones and into our power!

@ihatetheinternetitsawesome3578 Жыл бұрын

thank you cool lady

@SundayBlunts8748 4 жыл бұрын

Hi :) I like your videos. Whenever I find myself in a new social situation which is all the time, I try to think about how it is exciting to make new friends. Your tips will definitely make me less worried about being interesting and more focused on being friendly. We all can have confidence if we are allowed to be ourselves and I feel your content encourages that so keep it up!

@jeanfrancorojasmora7887 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you! This is gonna help me a lot :)

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

I'm really grateful you found it useful, Jean!

@rsnsol2490 5 жыл бұрын

I find people are so on their gaurd now days that even the subject matters you suggest will trigger most people to run the other direction. I dont want stranger asking personal questions to me either like , trying to talk about my kids and family or where I work. I know its a catch 22 because you want to tald about something but people are very reserved most of the time because of all the violence and hurtful things that go on in the world. I had a neighbor move in next door and I walked over to the fence, said hello and introduced myself as a new neighbor would and she says " uh, I dont talk much", and turns around and walks off. She has lived there for 3 years now and has not spoken one word to me or my wife. Its just awkward being in social situations when you dont have the gift of gab.

@Drstrange3000 5 жыл бұрын

Yeah, after I told someone I was a bakery at a grocery store, the conversation went completely dead afterwards without the ability to share anything else. It was interesting enough.

@kelbradshaw1120 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for another great video Julia! So helpful in stressful situations x

@flashlightfreek 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! :-)

@flamekick11 6 жыл бұрын

Will you do a video on tips for coping when your therapist is moving away?

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

That's a great topic! I will definitely put it on the list.

@flamekick11 6 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling Great thank you!

@meloy1989 6 жыл бұрын

all of your videos are a must watch specially for all of those person who are in need and thank you for sharing all those information to those others in need who have found inspiration and answers from the videos

@mireillelebeau2513 5 жыл бұрын

Ok Ok ! you got me on the money question for a second I thought you were serious

@preciousheavenlyculture8886 4 жыл бұрын

I can listen to your videos all day long

@vernaharris4700 3 жыл бұрын

Julia, I love your ideas.👍❤ Thank you so much. You got me there when you mention money.😅

@angielockets7840 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you,this is really helpful, I appreciate your advice

@rikjaspers1674 6 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I find the person I'm conversing with isn't very responsive, probably because they're feeling even more awkward than I am... Do you have any tips on how to try to put them more at ease?

@splendidfalafel8987 Жыл бұрын

Lol same; i'm usually ok but when people are more shy than me i don't know what to do lol

@joonphoria 3 жыл бұрын

me *at school*: so how are you connected to-

@pattyhill9278 6 жыл бұрын

A warm smile.

@jamesthompson222 4 жыл бұрын

HELLO THANK YOU AND SHARED

@trudibarraclough478 Жыл бұрын

I hate when people ask these questions. It's what makws me anxious about socialising.

@blindsurgeonc 4 жыл бұрын

thanks for this video!

@dipsy012 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you . This help me alot

@eb8286 5 жыл бұрын

Please make one for ADD! Your videos are great

@auni2955 3 жыл бұрын

why is it all black and white?

@dreone2008 5 жыл бұрын

Love the video

@Almonds7 4 жыл бұрын

You are funny, ask them everything about money 😂🤣

@kenia.charles 6 жыл бұрын

New sub hello from California :)

@juliakristinamah 6 жыл бұрын

Hi Kenia! Great to connect with you.

@kenia.charles 6 жыл бұрын

So happy to have found your channel, thank you so much 😊

@willclarkneptune 6 жыл бұрын

Hello from Colorado (:

@louisevandiepen4129 5 жыл бұрын

Hi Julia, this is helpfull! In conversation with cliënts and Friends it's okay. I have problem with family gatherings where you are supposed to 'know' all your relatives. I know their names. My dad had 13 brothers and sisters and was the eldest. He passed away 5 years ago. The next party there will be over 100 relatives and I feel i don't belong to the family anymore. What shall I do? Stay home? xo Louise

@BadgerBabyBoy 5 жыл бұрын

I hate it when ppl ask me "what do you do? Do you work? Do you study?" Cz i dont & no I'm not a mother, that question makes me feel really awkward & uncomfortable, I have no reply for those questions besides unconfidentky saying "no nothing, i dont have a job"

@BadgerBabyBoy 5 жыл бұрын

Oh i just got up to the letter O in this video & I still am stuck & hate that question, although i do prefer the hobbies question cz i like yoga but I didn't even have that a year ago.

@BadgerBabyBoy 5 жыл бұрын

Heavily depressed ppl can't do FORM if they've never worked or studied etc

@User_92020 Жыл бұрын

Do you ever ask if they're Republican or democrat?