How To Make Someone Feel Special Around You

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Small talk can be a drag - but it’s possible to turn those boring everyday conversations into a meaningful ones where you learn about and really connect with people.
That’s why in this video we’ll explore what you can learn from some of the best conversationalists of our era about moving from small talk to deep connection so you never worry about being boring.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro.
0:17 - #1: Let people know that you're happy to speak with them.
1:59 - #2: Steer towards deeper conversational contexts.
3:01 - #3: Use "parroting".
3:59 - #4: Advocate for things people are ashamed to have felt or done.
5:25 - #5: Pause to acknowledge vulnerability and courage.
6:14 - #6: Reveal your own vulnerabilities and unflattering truths.
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#JoeRogan #HowardStern #CharismaOnCommand
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Пікірлер: 594

@benwatterson851 3 жыл бұрын

Person on the street: hey hows it going? Me: I love you

@Thisisit69420 3 жыл бұрын

Is this the krasty krab?

@temmieisakward2830 3 жыл бұрын

No this is Patrick.

@stockyguru 5 ай бұрын

😂😂

@QuietlyMagnetic 3 жыл бұрын

As an introvert, knowing you're gonna have to engage in small talk is like being asked to arm yourself with a sword & shield, and ride horseback into conquest.

@AlexGreeneHypnotist 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, but come on, that battle cry needs work ...

@mrcoldshower465 3 жыл бұрын

for me it's more like.. If I make my speech awkward, I die

@GeoffWilde 3 жыл бұрын

The first step is not to poeticize it

@thismans1405 3 жыл бұрын

It doesn't matter nearly that much.

@hkr667 3 жыл бұрын

I just answer with short and quick responses, which must come across really rude, but I prefer being perceived as rude over continuing the conversation.

@CaseyBurnsInvesting 3 жыл бұрын

People love to talk about themselves and be appreciated.

@hkr667 3 жыл бұрын

I use that fact a lot when I don't want to talk about something personal they ask me about. I will right away ask them something about themselves. In my whole life, only 1 person ever remembered that they asked me a question that I was dodging.

@strawberrymilk2303 3 жыл бұрын

@@midsizesedan7620 Is that a joke

@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 3 жыл бұрын

I think this is the key that soooo many people miss

@knytlite 3 жыл бұрын

@@hkr667 let me guess: that 1 person is now your spouse?

@hkr667 3 жыл бұрын

@@knytlite Ha no :) she's been one of my best friends for 18 years though.

@SamMartinPeakPerformance 3 жыл бұрын

How small talk turns unintentionally deep: "How's the weather over there?" "As dark and cloudy as my everyday existence..."

@AlexGreeneHypnotist 3 жыл бұрын

Nowadays, people counter with "Are you mehod acting? Are you rehearsing for a play or something?"

@mrcoldshower465 3 жыл бұрын

lmao

@WeAreAllOneNature 3 жыл бұрын

@@AlexGreeneHypnotist If you do the fake tactics advised by 'Charisma on Command', then, yes, people will ask if you are method acting. But that's because you ARE method acting. Maybe try being honest.

@ddelarosa96 3 жыл бұрын

@@WeAreAllOneNature I mean personally the weather can invoke certain memories (e.g. Summer heat and cool A/C blowing full force always reminds me of when I first lived on my own in the beginning of summer driving anywhere and everywhere). If someone is honest about what they feel, this advice can be used to know how to start convos

@supertrooper6011 3 жыл бұрын

we should all respond to small talk like this - that'll teach these chirpy chatty fecks trying to engage with us

@NoblesseOblige-17 3 жыл бұрын

"The weather is nice today." "How does that make you feel?"

@igorthelight 3 жыл бұрын

"The weather is nice today." "Yes. Just like on that day when I drink too much and vomited in front of my girlfriend and her parents"

@JingleJoe 3 жыл бұрын

and yet, that's such an interesting thing to be asked, right? how DOES the weather make you feel?

@igorthelight 3 жыл бұрын

@@JingleJoe True. But most people will be just "What?"

@hkr667 3 жыл бұрын

@@JingleJoe Like my existence is being crushed under the load of all my failures and I'd rather punch my own reflection in the mirror till the pain makes me so numb I am not sure if I am alive anymore. Also, I feel like getting some ice cream.

@davecullins1606 3 жыл бұрын

@@JingleJoe Great. After going through several weeks of constant uninterrupted gray weather I don't think I'll be complaining about the sun for a loooooooong while.

@SpectreKelevra 3 жыл бұрын

"Lovely sun we have out today." "It is, and it's casting a strong shadow behind you, are you in touch with it?"

@gulabani2216 3 жыл бұрын

Awkward...

@drseltenheit 3 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@Frankenstein786 2 ай бұрын

It’s the same Sun as every other day…

@TakeBackYourMind997 3 жыл бұрын

Other people are a reflection of you. If you're shy and judgemental people will hold back around you, if you're outgoing and secure in yourself you will bring more people out of their shell and into that energy.

@a.z6765 3 жыл бұрын

Very true

@DYKWINNING 3 жыл бұрын

I wonder why that is. Would you share any videos/articles you have about that?

@K4113B4113 3 жыл бұрын

Having grown up around a guy that embodies the latter and me growing up as the former - yeah that’s spot on

@9000tastebuds 2 жыл бұрын

Oh wow, never really thought about that. I really gotta work with myself, thanks for the idea.

@PinupSticknerd 6 ай бұрын

Yes. Double-edged riverflow😊 Appreciate you ✊

@SeanLunny 3 жыл бұрын

Ask deeper questions and take genuine interest. Let’s learn how to socialize again

@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 3 жыл бұрын

I want a diet coke

@SeanLunny 3 жыл бұрын

@@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 ask and it is given

@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 3 жыл бұрын

@@SeanLunny yes Your interdimensional coke just arrived Thx Master Sean Sector 11.

@SeanLunny 3 жыл бұрын

@@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 😂😂😂

@yutterbomb 3 жыл бұрын

@@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 But how does diet coke make you feel

@blazethej 3 жыл бұрын

This channel is great for learning social skills you've never had an idea were a thing. HOWEVER, You won't learn anything in front of a screen. The only way for you to acquire those skills is by throwing yourself into deep water and doing it yourself. Get your sh*t together and do it yourself with an open mindset and you'll see how efficiently you become the "better you". KZfaq won't help you. Only you can do it. It's never too late. Head up, you got it!

@yutterbomb 3 жыл бұрын

I agree to an extent. You definitely won't get better at this stuff until you practice it, but videos like these can still be a fantastic guideline to follow.

@ohhhhhhmygodbecky 2 жыл бұрын

@@yutterbomb yeah i've found it all helpful, like after watching them for a while i kind of just naturally adapted a lot of what i agree with.

@ALZulas 3 жыл бұрын

A lot of these tips are the same things you learn in empathetic listening if you work for a suicide prevention hotline. Parroting is a big one, but hard for most people to master. You want to repeat what the other person said, in your own words, to make sure you fully understood what they're trying to tell you. If you make a mistake in your replay, most people will non-judgementally correct you, and you will better understand where they're coming from.

@williamcecil4265 3 жыл бұрын

I do that constantly, just out of habit to make sure I understand what they are saying, and it frustrates them. So don't do it too much; throw in differing opinions, relatable experiences, and other taking points.

@ALZulas 3 жыл бұрын

I tell people who are learning this skill to use their own words a lot. So, if someone tells you a long story about a break up, you can say something like "so wait," and then repeat just the main points, and end in upspeak (ending that sounds like a question mark). And try to include some indication that you understand how they might feel. It would sound like "So wait, you're saying that he broke up with you on Valentine's Day at a packed restaurant? Wow, sounds like he wasn't thinking about your feelings at all." It's better than what the training manual says, which is just "So what you're saying is... " then repeat back what they told you. It's definitely something you have to practice to make it feel normal.

@yunglion. 7 ай бұрын

I think this also contributes to taking effective notes too, listening and jotting it back down in your own words

@d.on.in.a 3 жыл бұрын

"it's rainy today" "I have depression"

@Klokinator 3 жыл бұрын

AH HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION

@d.on.in.a 3 жыл бұрын

@@Klokinator I have a pen

@dizasteroid7 3 жыл бұрын

Nailed it.

@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 3 жыл бұрын

Have a nice day

@mathematicalninja2756 3 жыл бұрын

wanna be frans boi

@michaelmcgee2026 3 жыл бұрын

I suggest reading these 3 books to go into this in depth: The 7 levels of intimacy How to gain friends and influence people How to get people to like you in 90 seconds

@HELLO-ln2oc 3 жыл бұрын

@drigobeats6036 3 ай бұрын

How to win friends and influence people is an absolute must read for everyone interested in that topic and basically every human in general

@xiav3318 3 жыл бұрын

I've been feeling self-concious about being boring lately, and I'm in that in-between phase with a new friend group, so this is perfect, thanks!

@karri17 3 жыл бұрын

Help! I want to join a friend group but I'm super boring

@webbers4life146 2 жыл бұрын

But be true to yourself as well. If you put a lot of effort into seeming like a more exciting person, people will pick up on that ‘fakeness’ as well. And it can get very exhausting putting on a mask or personality every time you’re around people. Just be the most outgoing version of you, whatever that looks like.

@reo_up_mo 2 жыл бұрын

@@webbers4life146 great advice... But a year late. Whatever would have happened has already happened so you gave advice too late. Still, great advice.

@okashi10 Жыл бұрын

One of the best advice I ever got was "If you're afraid of being boring and want to be more interesting, you have to do more interesting things." If you're not able to easily pretend to be more interesting, no number of videos will help you magically get there. You have to actually get out and pick up new hobbies, activities, projects, and passions. If you live a full, active, and interesting life, you will always have stories and interesting things to talk about.

@LivingALifeOfAbundance 3 жыл бұрын

80\20 rule. You do 20% of the talking & let her do 80% of the talking. Ask her question & get to know her. The best sales/dating strategy.

@GeoffWilde 3 жыл бұрын

Her?

@D00Rb3LL 3 жыл бұрын

What if she does the 80/20 rule too? Then it’s just 40% conversation and 60% silence

@user-sl1ry6op7m 3 жыл бұрын

@@D00Rb3LL 💯💯

@hkr667 3 жыл бұрын

@@D00Rb3LL True but I've only ever met one woman that didn't like talking about herself.

@Gigusx 3 жыл бұрын

Great advice, this is how I do it whenever I meet a new girl - I start by taking 20 seconds to lay out the rules of the conversation and make sure she doesn't start talking until I'm ready to receive the essence of her character and life experiences. After explaining, I set the timer for 80 seconds, raise my hand, and drop it to signalize the beginning of her turn. If she doesn't stop herself after 80 seconds or stops too soon, I immediately correct the situation - balance must be maintained. After the first cycle is finished, I take a 1 minute break to stare through her soul and plan out how to approach the beginning of the next cycle, and my 20 seconds. Of course, I use 20% of the most interesting words and things she's said to guide myself. I write down my questions and divide the number of words by my speaking speed (+20% buffer to accommodate for potential stutter in case I'm aroused), to know whether the questions can be spoken or need to be rapped out to make it in 20 seconds. The break ends and the next cycle begins, no second is wasted. This is the way.

@theclockmax 2 жыл бұрын

I love the part where they explain that YOU need to talk about your own issues as well. I did the mistake of caring too much about others, rather than myself. It’s a balance that needs to be done. However, if someone is going to open up to you, you need to open up to them as well. That’s a true connection. I’ll help you out, if you help me out too

@LivingALifeOfAbundance 3 жыл бұрын

Treat her like a celebrity she will treat you like a fan.

@johnmivule-novabow8143 3 жыл бұрын

facts

@lauragoiaba 3 жыл бұрын

so true

@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 3 жыл бұрын

A fan blows

@ShaferHart 3 жыл бұрын

Dude, you're everywhere

@FPSBuzz 3 жыл бұрын

@@thetruthisinfrontofoureyes6273 but won't ever get blown

@Ani-pl2dv 3 жыл бұрын

That's some really good advices, gives me confidence to start conversation with my cru- My stutter problem: imma stop you right there

@uniquechannelnames 3 жыл бұрын

Idk a lot about stutters, but some of them are treatable through speech therapy? If yours is treatable, I do hope that can happen for you! Much love!

@MyrnaDeJesus Жыл бұрын

It's beautiful the work you men are doing. You're offering such solid, important guidance that assists human beings to heal such painful struggles. You do it without any pretense; simple, honest, and in a "we're in this together" tone which is very encouraging. Thank you for contributing such goodness to this violent, aching world.

@shaquilleoatmeal6024 3 жыл бұрын

Always struggled with small talk, especially after 9000 years in lockdown

@gulabani2216 3 жыл бұрын

Wow, how old does that make you then?

@ateez_stan777 2 жыл бұрын

@@gulabani2216 "OVER 9000!!!"

@71945 2 жыл бұрын

Haha

@commonsense2697 3 жыл бұрын

People want to be interesting, they just don't know how.

@FPSBuzz 3 жыл бұрын

Rather, people are interesting but they don't know to express it

@commonsense2697 3 жыл бұрын

@@FPSBuzz And i say people have the capacity to be interesting, they just don't explore it.

@AlexGreeneHypnotist 3 жыл бұрын

I hear you. It's fun to imagine a social scene where absolutely everybody got their charisma schooling from youtube videos, and they're all just trying to out-pose one another, but none of them have got a story beyond "I'm an insta influencer."

@meaghanpike2424 3 жыл бұрын

This is absolutely one of my favorite KZfaq channels it is so informative and I try to tell everyone about it that mentions feeling awkward for struggling to communicate

@anonymousleapyear5616 3 жыл бұрын

I have been watching the channel for only about a week, and haven't even checked ot CU yet and I can see the effects already, I feel like people are more comfortable being around me and talking to me and I'm really grateful for your tips

@VagabondMorrison 3 жыл бұрын

Sean Evans from Hot Ones would be a great subject for a charisma breakdown because he asks such great and engaging questions!

@nailakamana763 3 жыл бұрын

I think why so many of us struggle with conversation is because the topics that we actually want to talk about are considered taboo. So we try to play it safe by asking each other questions that get us nowhere. Why can't we just talk about whatever at any time? What's the worst that can happen? Somebody not agreeing?

@mandystop1077 Жыл бұрын

Agree with you👍👍

@calamar1e320 Ай бұрын

A slight tweak to this I'd personally add: we should learn how to tow the line between authenticity and oversharing. If someone asked me how I was doing and I gave a truly 100% honest answer, even if I was in a horrible mood ("I feel like I'm living in an Orwellian hellscape with corporate glitter sprayed all over it, my country is responsible for and continues to commit war crimes that make the majority of fictional villains look reasonable and fair by comparison, we're slowly being poisoned and also poisoning our planet", etc.) then a good chunk of my interactions would be depressing and unproductive. BUT we should learn how to incorporate our more taboo thoughts that we're embarrassed with into our conversations in a way that helps us connect with people, or at least help them/give them an interesting thought or story to tell

@shinobix4925 2 жыл бұрын

Make it clear you’re happy to talk to them. Cool, aloof people aren’t easy to get vulnerable with Start with the basic topics, then move in deeper by asking how it made them feel. Moving a convo to feelings, motivations, or values is a great way to understand somebody deeper Parrot them, repeat something they said with curious interest to get them to elaborate on the how or why or whatever, and quickly move into feelings and motivations, ect Don’t judge them when they get vulnerable and share something they’re ashamed of, instead advocate for that thing, help them understand that it’s a normal thing for humans to do, and acknowledge their vulnerability and bravery. Reveal your own vulnerabilities and unflattering truths. Don’t filter when reminded of something embarrassing You need to be in-touch with the most unsavoury parts of you if you want to get into really deep conversations otherwise conversations will keep being safe and boring, you’ll keep wearing your mask, and you may just spend your life in fear that a disowned part of you will come back into the lime-light and ruin you

@itsatrix2811 3 жыл бұрын

I forgot how helpful this channel is. Cheers Charlie, you’re a clever guy I’m glad you’re sharing your knowledge

@TaylorSEllis 3 жыл бұрын

Small talk was always a difficult one for me, I definitely need this!

@mochaest1994 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve actually been doing these for the past couple of months and I do feel a deeper connection with people

@IsaacJoshi 3 жыл бұрын

Connecting with people is one of the great joys in life, just a willingness to understand and genuine curiousity goes a long way :)

@rhysaguirre6967 3 жыл бұрын

I just want to say, thank you for what you do. You we're one of the biggest factors that changed my life, and I didn't even get CU yet.

@MatthewGillespiedj 3 жыл бұрын

Me who has watched a dozen of your videos: "Sure, I'll finally check out your 'University'." Me who sees the price tag: "Guess I'll be forever alone then."

@nuall4165 3 жыл бұрын

One of the biggest things I noticed about people is they like talking about what they like coz it's the most they could talk about without thinking too much about it. It helps a lot when you affirm them in what they do "I'm taking this risk of opening up a business etc etc and it's been my dream" "Hey, that's really cool. Not a lot of people have the courage to be like you etc etc"

@scottiecorley4954 3 жыл бұрын

The last question is mind blowing. I do have anxiety trying to find myself while masking perfection.

@shawnell316 3 жыл бұрын

I look forward to joining the course I love your channel and am a film maker from one of the lower income places in Toronto who didn’t go to uni or college so I lack confidence sometimes talking to people who have your channel is a blessing

@progressandproductivity 3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad you covered this topic. I ask myself this question all the time.

@martykowal 2 жыл бұрын

I have connected with many things in your synopsis, watching this helps make it more concrete! thank you!

@AlmudenaBerzosa 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this video! Small talk is indeed important, not only can help us make a good first impression, it also can lead to a lasting relationship.

@midsized-sedan8142 3 жыл бұрын

I haven't watched CoC in a while (I was focusing on light entertainment over self improvement videos over the pandemic) But this channel is still super solid. Really enjoyed this video.

@RegardsRei 3 жыл бұрын

Omg I need this! As an INFJ, I get bored and irritated when small talk continues too long. I’ll go as far as not striking up a conversation in the first place in order to avoid small talk in the first place, which isn’t a good way to live.

@neptune3569 3 жыл бұрын

INFJ?

@RegardsRei 3 жыл бұрын

@@neptune3569 In Myers-Briggs personality type, INFJs are people who are introverted, intuitive, and who like to live their lives feeling connected with themselves, their surroundings, and people.

@peregrine3400 Жыл бұрын

Are you sure it's not social anxiety?

@EmyN 3 жыл бұрын

Good tips! I feel like I'm great at cutting small talk and creating a meaningful conversation out of it because I hate superficiality lol but I still learned a lot with this video. Thumbs up 👍

@connorrod6251 2 ай бұрын

About two years ago I just started asking “how’d that make you feel” in conversations, and it totally changed the relationship I had with certain peop

@codeewilson5544 2 ай бұрын

It’s Jeff Nipard

@jasonmoonshiner 3 жыл бұрын

Haven’t seen the whole video yet, but I just gotta to say I already know it’s going to be great.

@modernmistyk4341 2 жыл бұрын

I love you guys and I appreciate what you do. Keep putting out good content on how to subtly influence people

@user-lu1lw6gw2n 3 жыл бұрын

THIS VIDEO IS A GIFT THAT YOU CAN OPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN 🎁

@CertekHeatMachinesIncWembley 3 жыл бұрын

Your channel is simply amazing. You do such good work and have incredible insight.

@listenchump4041 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks to this channel I will be a beast on popular talk shows and interviews.

@anaflower5865 3 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of what they teach you in acting class. Focus more on being interested than being interesting. The more interested you become in other people AND the world around you (like seeing the beauty/absurdity in those little “meaningless” moments in life) the more interesting you naturally become.

@subhayansinha4417 3 жыл бұрын

Your videos are really well edited and amazingly presented. You rock!

@cedricdellafaille1361 2 жыл бұрын

i love being a subscriber of your show, thank you for your great information!

@cal4318 3 жыл бұрын

Just hit a gold pot! Thank you for this! I really needed this since I’m socializing more often now!

@_Razo 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome, thank you for this, this is going to help me connect more with people on my channel

@Dacommenta 3 жыл бұрын

Someone talking to me walks into a pole. Me: "thank you for your courage"

@GreenJuiceEditz 3 жыл бұрын

Your KZfaq channel is so Valuable to us

@arminxvs3372 3 жыл бұрын

This is really good stuff. It is hard but once you got them, it really elevates your social skills.

@user-lj4mf5nb3v 3 жыл бұрын

Good advice for introverts (introverted virgo especially) who hates small talk

@buriedblessman2522 3 жыл бұрын

I remember when the shadow of myself almost ruined my life and i stumbled upon a 17 minute video i think which talks about integrating the shadow of urself which saved me. So thank u charlie for that. I think the video was about ayahuasca

@dontforgettosmile611 Жыл бұрын

want to say thank you for your videos! You have given me a whole new view of myself and I didn't like everything I saw haha. You do a great job sharing all these facts and putting in clips that fit in with what you want to share

@justanothersherlockian7058 3 жыл бұрын

I used to be really embarrassed about having crushes who ended up being jerks, but now I would openly admit it to anyone. Be friends with your shadow!

@avinabamandal3204 3 жыл бұрын

I didn't know this but I actually quite good at this. Thank you for making me realise that

@rehanAllahwala1 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your wonderful work ! Bless you

@nirradical 2 жыл бұрын

Glad to see a video featuring a lot of Howard. You guys could do an entire video series just on Howard. The master interviewer.

@mindooze724 3 жыл бұрын

Great tips, definitely needed to hear some of these

@ahmedibrahim7885 3 жыл бұрын

Joe is simply an artist in talking. He is the Micheal Jordan of podcasting.

@Gherit1 3 жыл бұрын

Michael Jordan or Joe Rogan? Joe, like most people, has conservative values and liberal values. He leans liberal though. There are very few people that are all liberal or all conservative. I find it very difficult to have a conversation with someone all one shade or the other. I don't know about Michael Jordan's political leanings.

@gergo7507 3 жыл бұрын

@Elias You said that like that's a negative thing.

@austinh6332 3 жыл бұрын

@Elias what does that have to do with anything? 1. You’re mistaken & 2. Even if he is, he is entitled to do & think whatever he wants.

@austinh6332 3 жыл бұрын

@Elias youre right, you didnt. but discrediting him because you view him as "conservative" (which is a blanket statement/assumption by you, but thats another topic) isn't right. On top of all that, hes actually self described moderate - liberal on some ideas as well as right leaning on others. (ex. Pro trans rights // Pro 2nd amendment/pro gun). Just my thoughts. Don't spread division, everyone can have their beliefs as they are entitled.

@lsoelystio 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for these valuable insights!

@jorisborra8701 2 жыл бұрын

Really needed this. I completely forgot how to socialise after 2021.

@choppa988 3 жыл бұрын

Whoever runs this channel I LOVE YOU ❤

@johnkeck 3 жыл бұрын

THIS has got to be the most amazing thing you've posted from the many amazing videos you've posted. Thank you for posting! That said, I do wish you would take the trouble to redact the f word.

@fridaber6069 3 жыл бұрын

Hey there! Could you do a charisma analysis of Princess Diana? I find her such an interesting example because she was considered an incredibly charismatic person, but she also displayed a lot of behaviours that show insecurity. How was she so charismatic while also being insecure? I think this would make for an interesting video!

@cetycon2613 3 жыл бұрын

For anyone that is already enrolled in CU: At the moment, just watching these free KZfaq videos are doing plenty for me. I'm really interested in joining CU, but I feel like with all these covid restrictions, it's not the ideal time to enroll in the course. Do any of you agree that I should wait until everything gets better and i'm able to see more people, or should I just go for the membership right now?

@MaxQuagliotto 3 жыл бұрын

WTF is going on at 8:47? That's some deep connection there...

@Gigusx 3 жыл бұрын

It gets weirder the closer you look.

@iKoper 3 жыл бұрын

@@Gigusx exactly

@gbotzworld 3 жыл бұрын

@@Gigusx 😂😂😂 my guy is hands on with this connection stuff 💀

@gulabani2216 3 жыл бұрын

My poor eyes... that was wrong on so many levels.

@romeonoane1286 3 жыл бұрын

This is a great video guys, but number 4, 5 and 6 are only plausible when you've already moved past the small talk. Would love to hear more about this subject in the future! Keep up the good work, you guys are awesome!

@stylesr6779 3 жыл бұрын

I learned so much from you thank you 👍🏿

@kristianrussell9880 3 жыл бұрын

This was awesome! Thank you!

@nehainthebay 3 жыл бұрын

These were very good, practical points to consider. 👍🏽 Ultimately, it’s about really listening and keeping an open mind.

@CrimeinNYCity 2 жыл бұрын

That was very insightful and helpful.

@sanskar9679 3 жыл бұрын

Your video editing skills are becoming so impressive

@lyxuong458 2 жыл бұрын

Thank You !

@dirtywill9796 2 жыл бұрын

Woah, I'm going to need to watch this a few times over

@RealHIFIHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Wow what a good video. Thank you.

@ConnorRK-pn9yj 3 жыл бұрын

It would be great to see a Charisma on Command video breaking down Neal Caffrey from White Collar

@TravisGilbert 3 жыл бұрын

Its almost like the CC guys are watch me fumble through life with timing of this uploads

@shreyasshanker858 3 жыл бұрын

Omg...,. This got way more deep... Than the title led me to believe

@maximosaurus042nd 3 жыл бұрын

This is amazing content this guy and his team makes! Although I won’t ever use his videos to improve myself because honestly, I can’t care enough for being able to put them to use and I don’t wanna pay for the lessons. Now I’m mostly an extrovert and gonna be how I am right now until further notice. Maybe my mindset will change in the future but I can’t see that right now. It’s not like don’t do some of the thing the host mentions but I’m not gonna strive to be any much better socially because frankly, I can’t care enough… and that’s my problem.

@joels1322 2 жыл бұрын

I don't think you're much of an extrovert. I think you just want to be stuck. Doing nothing well. Should all of us be as complacent like you, this you tube course wouldn't exist. No one to engage and challenge us to gain ourselves from where we just were, progress forward, leaving you behind to stay stagnant.

@Yaboyphilo 3 жыл бұрын

hey man, i love your videos and find them very interristing. I was wondering what education you have had because i myself like psychology so maybe i want to study it one day.

@BucketWheat 3 жыл бұрын

I have watched many of your video's... and rather surprisingly, I find that I am DOING many of the things you talk about. I was a rather skinny kid, growing up, and got picked on a good bit. So I was rather insecure, socially. But I "adapted" by learning to use humor, and to try to 'understand' the other person more. And when I came out of the Marines at 210 pounds of rock-hard muscle and broad shoulders and big arms, and went back to my High School Football Games ( I had younger siblings that were still attending) and saw some of those "bullies", and some of the "Popular Kids" that did not have much interest in me "back Then"... I saw an entirely different attitude! Now, in just a few weeks, I will be attending my 50th Class Reunion... and about 100 of those Classmates will be there. And about 250 of my classmates, from Graduating Classes before or after me, are now Regulars on my Social Media... Even some of my former Teachers have reached out and Asked to be "Friends" on my Media pages. Because, in spite of my insecurities, and even being picked on, I was still nice to everyone, and showed a bit of humor... and was nice to Others who were sort of "outcast"... And now, their "memories" of me are more about that Ex-Marine at the football games, or the funny comments in class or in school assemblies, rather than the skinny kid that always sat on the bench at all of the Football Games and never got into a Game... until the last few minutes of the Last game of our Senior Season... and intercepted a pass and ran it back for a Touchdown. But my humor, and kind and supportive comments, on social Media has made me one of the most popular guys in the School history...

@itshimmos 2 жыл бұрын

Didn't finish reading but me too

@Akagami753 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome video👌🏻 Hey hi, please try to make a video on Hugh Lauri, people love his attitude

@edwardj.warden5072 3 жыл бұрын

thank you

@krithiksingh 3 жыл бұрын

Damn this video hit me deep, love this video one of the best on youtube

@Oscarmartins992 3 жыл бұрын

A great video. Nice tips

@aravindkrishnan7498 3 жыл бұрын

This is a great video!!

@jackster1212 2 жыл бұрын

To sum up (because these great rules are hard to remember) recognize that the vulnerabilities you feel, other people feel too. And rather than just keep that insight to yourself, seek to make those others feel less shame or pain related to those insecurities. Show they're understood and safe in your care.

@aWorthlessLiar 3 жыл бұрын

When I ask people how they are doing if they just say good or something surface level and then they ask me always go hold up and I try to always get them to elaborate. People often don't feel heard or cared for and just putting some normal care into someone's time goes a long way

@jennalillywho 3 жыл бұрын

"Are you in touch with your shadow?" That question..

@bi0lizard1 3 жыл бұрын

Rogan and Stern are geniuses in their craft!

@amadiaamadia2438 3 жыл бұрын

my summaries: 1. let others know you are *happy* to speak with them: compliments about what they do, their personality, just say you like them 2. steer towards deeper *conversational* contexts: how does that makes you feel or other (motivation, feeling, value) 3. get anyone to open up and connected by *parroting*: repeating their title, major, vocabularies 4. *advocate* for the things others are *ashamed* to have felt or done: making sense of what they feel or experience/validating their feeling or experiences, signal them to take off the mask by sharinh their vulnarbilites and dont judge them👇 5. *pause* to acknowledge *vulnerabilities* and courage 6. *reveal* your own vulnerabilities and *unflattering* truths: and not judgemental about it or without shame

@kiankashanian7412 Ай бұрын

Tip

@petrosstefanidis6396 3 жыл бұрын

I really like your content so I want to comment on sth that is bothering me for a long time. In the beginning of each one of your more recent videos you have this page with the topics you are going to talk about. I know you have explained the reasons why you think it's better to present them that way, as some king of exercise to make the viewer be more interested in that, pause the video not to miss it (?) and engage with that, but I don't think it really works. It looks like an overloaded powerpoint slide to be honest. Just a thought. I don't usually give feedback on youtube creators but this one might be useful. Keep it up :)