How to win as an INFP "This is definitely one of the more difficult episodes to do" Starting off with a subtle roast I see

I think INFPs consider it a "win" to live by our own principles or lifestyles even when people tell us that won't be possible, so this makes sense as advice.

INFPs need to find something they enjoy doing, have a passion, and are good at.

Being alive is a win already

Sometimes for INFPs adopting a "don't believe me just watch" mentality is called for, even if you have to sit on your hands at times to train yourself to do it.

As an infp winning to me is to reach happiness and to live a life full of peace, freedom, independence, and to create memories that i'll be thankful for. That's a great victory.

(INFP) "Let the work do the talking" I have a knack for getting people to open up. Have been told, "I feel like I've always known you", and "There is a sense of peace when I'm around you"... This all began after I accepted myself with all my quirks and offbeat'ness.

How to win as an INFP - "Let the work do the talking"

I feel like I’m winning when I know I make a positive impact on someone else. I like to nurture and make people feel accepted for being authentic. I don’t judge but rather I like to find the psychology behind actions. Bossy people really get on my nerves because I like to do things on my own terms.

INFPs : we got potential but first let us have high dose of existential crisis and dread over it

As an INFP, I feel I have no problem "[letting] the work do the talking." What I've recently found difficult (and frustrating) is feeling that my work is either not appreciated or that my actions are misunderstood by others.

As an older INFP I would like to add this. "Winning" is a very subjective word. I don't care that it doesn't look like I am winning to others because I don't live according to their standards. Winning for me is being content with who I am (at the moment) and making a difference in life according to my own measurement system. Also not beating myself up or overanalysing things but just taking things as they come and integrating them into who I am (or not!). Every day is an adventure, whether we leave the house or not! ✌️

I feel so secluded as an INFP. I have certain boundaries and convictions that at just for me and I don't push them on everyone. But it feels like everyone I know, including my siblings want me to 'get over myself' and 'let loose'. What they refuse to understand is that this IS who I am.

As an INFP, my view of winning is when I hopefully finding a career where I can pursue my passion authentically. I am taking steps to get there but if you know anything about my type I do tend to get distracted and will often have bouts of polarization due to not meeting my own ideals of perfection regarding what I am doing. If I get confirmation that I helped someone along the way it is an ego boost and I keep moving.

ok but the sentence "infps embody their values." amazing.

Thank you for making a video on our type! I like that you mentioned being a role model of our own values as a way to influence others as opposed to hitting them over the head with it. I resonate with that immensely. If I am allowed to add my own tips that I have learned through life: 1) Be compassionate towards yourself. We can be very hard on our selves and we know the importance of being compassionate towards others, but we don't realize the importance of being compassionate towards ourselves. 2) Spend time on self-health physically, mentally, and spiritually. I feel as an INFP I had a dislike towards exercise, but incorportating exercise is so important for a healthy mind and body. But individualize your exercise where it is inspiring and fun. Like maybe yoga or African dancing, just as a few examples. Mental health goes without saying. It is impossible to help others if we are not in a good place mentally. And spiritually, without it, there is that strange feeling that something is lacking or missing in our lives. Maybe like an empty or hollow feeling. Spirituality also individualized to what resonates deeply with us can heal that hole inside. And eventually lead us to inner joy. 3) Know when things are not your business. This one is a hard one. We want to help people and get involved in the lives of the people close to us because we care so much, but know that sometimes things are none of our business and trying to help people who don't want help is not helpful. 4) Recognize when we are being selfish. This one is a hard one because we don't like to see ourselves as bad people. But to be frank we can be kind of selfish only wanting to do what we want to do. Recognize the importance of volunteering and helping the community, but not in a way that is draining to ourselves, but uplifting to our spirits. 5) Find our Dharma. This one is a tough one too. But as INFPs we cannot be satisfied in a non-fulfilling job. Our career has to be our passion and what we are meant to do. So find our dharma which is our destined path in life which calls us. We have to listen to the universe which is trying to lead us in the right direction. 6) Lastly, listen to your inner voice, especially when it is telling you to act. INFPs we are observers. We observe what happens around us and we are slow to act because we spend more time thinking than doing. But if we see something and we know something bad will happen, we should do something about it. Instead of watching and waiting, intervene, if appropriate. If that inner voice is like you should do something, even if no one else is doing it, then do it. I especially feel this way about safety. If we recognize an unsafe environment, we should do what we can to fix it. So yeah that is my advice. Sorry for it being so long. Would love to hear other INFPs insights.

Playing guitar: too damn perfectionist - and i wont stop until the 'music' sounds 'perfect'. >FOCUSED Playing anything else: begin excited as shit, then i suddenly stop, and then i'll try another one - never finishing this 'cycle'... > UNFOCUSED

Actions speak louder than words, it's so true and also convenient if you're not good at talking eloquently. I've spent my adolescence and early 20s feeling misunderstood or even crazy because of my radical ideas and my inability to express them and convince people of their validity. When I started actually acting on my principles I understood I don't need to convince anyone to make a change in the world, I can simply act on my own or with other like-minded people. Trying to talk people into changing their worldview is a waste of time and energy. It's much better to act and other people will follow when they see what you're doing is good and makes sense.

These tips are SO applicable to ENFJ. I feel like people can't comprehend or don't care enough about the message were trying to send that we have to dumb it down to society for them to understand. It's such an pain in the ass.

Fi doms and aux can be very opinionated. I can respect Fi principles...just don’t tell me how to think and feel and we’ll get along fine. Us NTPs and NFPs can really struggle to find our place in the world, and I admire those who do. Best thing to do is force yourself to learn to be organized. It sucks but it helps. At 30 I’m finally learning to keep a planner. My old ESTJ friend would be proud.

I‘m an INFP but I feel really extrovertet when it comes to speaking with people. And I think I’m really good at getting people to like me. But I never trust anyone. That means I don‘t speak to much about me. I keep most things, as example my struggles, to myself. Is this a normal infp-type thing?

you're a real joy to listen to

Wow. You put into words what I never could. And this is why (as an infp) I place a lot of my identity in my work/art. It's the only way people see me.

I have taken the 16 personalities test multiple times in my life and people that know me have done it ”as me” aswell. I have gotten this personality 100% of the times. I fully agree with almost all characteristics. However, Im not opinionated at all. Im simply too uncertain about my own ability to understand issues and concepts. Id like to think that I rely on logic more than the description says. But that is probably because I link logic ability to intelligence (not social) and I feel insecure about my own cognitive abilities. Im really afraid that I have low potetial, and I know that its dumb to waste energy on that type of thinking. Nontheless it has followed me for as long as I can remember. Anyone else?

First of all, let me thank you for making these videos. As an INFP, I think I do have certain principles and values that are of immense importance to me. Thus, unsurprisingly enough, I view them as ones comprising my personality. That said, I don't really want to be a voice of change because I find it too tiring. I'd much rather be creative (I am a writer) and get as much pleasure as possible from following what I find the most exciting and mentally stimulating. I am not sure what that means. I always hear that INFPs are passionate about some issues, but I guess I just became too self-centered as time goes by. Not sure if that is some sort of progress or degradation for a person of my type. Maybe it's neither, and I am just in this weird stagnation. Sorry for blabbering. Just a few cents from an INFP.

When my INFP kid was little, I observed that when it was time to line up for anything, he'd never scramble with the other kids to be first. This means he was usually last, but he didn't care about that at all. The thing was going to happen anyway, and he didn't have to compete to make that happen. #winning

My mom is an INFP and i think she really need to see this.

As an INFP, my idea of winning is to finally overcome my "hopeless romantic" stage 💀

How to win as as INFP? Good question. I found by experience that I thrive more in chaos and crisis than in "all is good" times! As an INFP, I bizarely manage well this chaos world in which we live right now. The outside world right now is shut down and weird and it looks like my normal inner life ! It will be less comfortable when the world goes back to extrovert normal world though! Merci for your videos, I like the INFP ones you make they dont seem judgmental to me and I appreciate that. Merci from Paris.

Wow. I came to the same conclusion a couple of days ago - my message needs a (good) medium. And while I see writing as my greatest strength, I'm learning video production because I think it is a more powerful medium nowadays. Nice one.

"Let the work do the talking" I needed to hear that, thank you. I'm so deep in my head that I don't know what to do sometimes.

Idiosyncratic. This sounds like AURORA. I'm studying her personality type because we're both INFPs.

Me, an INFP, as the title card plays, “but why do I need to win?” Nathan, immediately afterwards, “INFPs don’t seem to be as interested in winning.”

im an INFP. your video gave me a chance to learn English hard . i have wanted to understand the way i am. thank you from Japan.🇯🇵

You are one of the most insightful KZfaqrs I have come across. You are changing our lives through your wiseful words.

Thank you for the advice! It helped me to know what should I do for next time... In INFP view, we choose what competition that suits us. What skill that being used, who were the oppenents, and what's the reward. We don't jump to any competitions for sake "winning". We jump to some competitions for fun and experience. Oh and also to see how far society values go, too, as you said in the video.

Very skilled :) what a compliment to hear that from an Intj ...

Would be cool to see a video that discusses INFP's Extroverted Intuition in depth

Tolkien is another INFP author whose beliefs and philosophy underly his amazing stories.

This was so eye opening for me! I am simply physically uncommitted from any values I hold dear to myself. It feels monumental to align physical reality with my inner life. Sometimes I feel a firm tide pushing my intentions away from body. I know this is my journey to bear, and this insight helps a lot!

The only win that I strive for in life is overcoming mental health issues and becoming the best version of myself

Well said. To the point and no emotions for us infps to over "think" about.

I consider winning as living in my intense emotions and just let them be, because that’s seems to be the beauty of life.

One of the best videos I’ve ever seen on advice to INFP. And I couldn’t agree more. We are walking stories, and it’s better to show than tell.

You actually know what you are talking about, thanks for sharing this, its really valuable

The only win I care for in life is being truly comfortable and happy with myself. As others have also noted, mental health seems to be a challenge that we as INFPs must overcome throughout various stages in our life. Finding the creative outlet to do so is part of that win.

I shut off Pandora and stopped what I was doing to watch this, lol. Concise as always; thank you, Nathan. I can see why Luanne loves you. We love you now too.

this is actually really helpful, thank you!! I often worry about being hypocritical and the way you articulated this is very nice and clear. Have a good day!

Thanks so much! I’m so impressed by your starting saying it might be hard to adopt the attitude of winning cause that’s what I felt before watching this episode of yours, winning for me as an INFP is really personal.

Yeap. That's another video in which you can replace "INFP" with my name and get a full insight of the complicated knot that is my mind. THANK YOU ❤

Winning to me is this scene: The year is 2081. I am 78 and look out from my little window on a changed world. I've done my part and have dreamed as much as I possibly can. The fire and spark that I had when I was 17 still holds strong. I am uncompromising and stand up for what I believe is write. I leave behind something big, beautiful, and artistic. Even if I am the only one to care for it, I hope it change the world. Or at least someone's world. I won't feel ashamed for dreaming big and wanting more. I won't be living someone else's shallow, empty life.

This is the most beautiful advice, anyone has ever given. I used to be very outspoken, especially 5 years ago. But it wasnt received well by my friends and i was bullied, so I learned how to not be sensitive and not talk out on current affairs. But it turns out I wasnt being put together and calm, but rather supressing my feelings. What I didnt realise was I dont need to disregard my inclination I just need another way to present them Thanks again.

I agree with the sentiment that winning as an INFP is different. Let your life reflect your state of winning.

I gets lots of love...and hate living this INFP life. I just do things my way, tell the truth all the time, don’t care about scores and meaningless competition at school. So many people love me for that. They became my friends, my fellowy supporters. But the others - who don’t understand me wholely - hate me together. Like they would make me feel weird anytime i make myself comfortable (eventhough i know they want to do it so bad too but they just can’t the way i do :)). It’s good to read people well and don’t get to live up to society and people’s expectations, but it’s hard sometimes. Glad i’m not the only alien :))))

Dude, recently I found your videos... they are emotional for me cuz im also INFP and artist, Im always tryin to get something important on canvas. Idea of something I believe in. Thank you, its motivating to actually do it and use canvas and colours as a medium

I don't know if my values would benefit society as a whole. But I dream of a world where people would be able to think outside of the box and understand that a lot of their traditions and rules are needlessly strict or outdated.

Thank you so much, my friend, for your words of insight! :)

(INFP) I think what you said about your actions speaking louder than words has merit, but I think people hearing the passion come out when you speak about why you are doing that makes even more sense when paired together. I was offended when you said we were skilled. lol I'm insecure about not being good at anything.

Find yourself an ENFJ 😏

💗😊💕INFP here. ‘Win’, isn’t part of my self-vocabulary. A rug is pulled from under me when someone wants to engage in quarrels and fights with me. When this happens, I just stare at them while I try to backtrack to figure out what I have done to cause them to want to engage in a fight with me. Meanwhile they take my silence as me having conceded and therefore they have won. Since I’m not engaging, they are just fighting with themselves. I’m not placed on this earth to fix everyone viewpoint. Everyone’s got choices to make. Live and let live.💕😊💗

Yeah the hardest part is to get so deep into being convincingly ourselves that people in our immediate surroundings stop the "Adapt! Adapt! Adapt!" chanting and either shut it or even go "Oh, I see. Couldn't do it that eay, but I guess that's also a way to live. Good for you!" 😂 and maybe, very maybe "WOW I don't know how you manage but it's amazing. Would you share insights on how you do it? Maybe there are aspects to learn from that I can apply, too, even if we're very different." The real struggle of winning is often really the sheer survival and hopefully to "thriving" part, that tends to be an extra high hurdle from our starting points unless very lucky (but we're not the only ones there. Although frankly, unlucky INFP versus most other types is rather close to being doomed. And then it's "be the miracle or break" very realistically very fast! Best chance if epic escape at the price of high risk of "instant kill" to use gaming language).

I had a therapist once tell me that I had a "doing problem."

Lol anytime he talks about INFPs he’s always like “god this is gonna he a difficult one” and it always make me giggle inside 😂

Nathan did anyone tell you that you're a damn good advisor

I LOVED this... Thank you!

Needed to hear this like 😫😫😫 It was soo timely tho 🤭 Thanks a lot 🤗

I appreciate this video so deeply, thank you.

Didn’t even look at my phone and was therefore totally surprised by the sudden end. Some of the best advice I could have ever gotten tho, so thank you!

I have been in the camp of blazing your own path and let others follow if they wish. I just don't enforce my views or what ever on others, but due to who I am others can become curious or even inspired by what I do. The simple one for me is keeping in shape, and it is apparent I do so. It does lure people to be curious about staying healthy. Though I rarely hear of it, people do get surprised about my ability to draw. I feel like I'm failing someone because I can't inspire them to be more consistent with practicing. I practice during my breaks at work every day and I hope my skill development and consistency would spur them to hop on board as well to push themselves. Though at times it all feels like it is for nothing, that it is a trail that I and I alone will go and everyone else will stay the same. Though I guess that is nothing new. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, among a friend group, family, work, and so on. Though now I know it is normal, or at least for this type.

I love that you are straight to the point!💗...that I cannot distract myself reading the comments lol

So basically: develop that blind Se and inferior Te 😆

Wow! I am reading Orwell's 1984 now. Glad to know I am reading a work of another INFP.

Wonderful! Thank You ❤

This, I think, was just what I needed to hear 😢 ♥ two months ago i lost someone who i really looked up-to and someone who was very close to my heart, and everything sort of just became...really horribly dim. It wasn't completely out of the blue, but I still cannot believe just how unprepared I was, not to mention shattered when I heard about it. So much so that I began to lose all energy and motivation...all willpower disappeared - even in things I believed in and were normally hyped about like my like my lightnovel which I've always been dedicated to for years. (gakuen st warriors on fp). Still in a writer's block because I couldn't even muster the energy, will or even the mind to write. "actions speak louder than words" Was was one thing the person I lost used to say, along with "if you have committted to something, whatever it is, finish it as well as you can." Perhaps it's just me meandering lol but this makes me at least want* to get my act together again - and stop being a zombie. Basically, thanks! This makes me remember why I wanted to write in the first place...which is what I think I had been losing sight of...

I'm just making this up but maybe in ancient times communities would have someone who is a shaman vision-healer... the members of the community, who play different roles, would go to that person for guidance and inspiration. And the shaman's knowledge of the interconnectedness of things would provide something for everyone. I feel like that is maybe the INFP's archetype or ideal role in society... what is the modern analog though? Counselors, priests maybe.

3:25 in the brainstorming and building process of my "medium" of expression...been a journey to get to any form of absolution about it...but I'm creating a world...Supernatural version of 9/11 era Las Vegas...shadow vs light...called Neon...Character/ relationship/morals-driven concepts and plots...to ultimately create a place people can experience the social experiment of Vegas before smart phones...that is more fantastical and magnified...also going to be a series of hybrid novels and comicbooks placed together in a meaningful, seemless way...giving the reader 2 forms of storytelling to choose from...it's still broad and vague...but it's narrowed down enough to create within it and discover the core messages and themes as the characters, environments, and cultures created evolve organically:)

I'm starting with loving myself and yes I'm not interested in winning, I'm interested in learning what is true. The law ot attraction has helped to get out of my confort zone.

INFP's dont likes challenges because if they see from the start the opponent is better or if they lost once they give up Even when they thought they were the best EVEN when they lost just because of bad luck

Good video. Something I'll share. Especially the point about a view and needed medium to match.

You just earned a subscription my dude - an INFP who wants to win

Thank you Sir. Very good advice

Winning to me is a stable relationship with my esfj making every day an adventure. He's my light even in my dark time

This was so eloquently put 🌼🌼🌼

Perfect! Thank you 🤗

As INFP, I am so joyful when husband goes out to help others and phisically at home not as much as he could. As long as he leave me to serve others in need, I dont mind.

I am an infp, but I lived in an abusive and very invalidating environment. I keep hearing all these wonderful things about us, but it hurts to know that since I have BPD as well, I may never be able to show myself to the world. I feel empty, meaningless, and useless, and I need something to look up. All I really want is to be loved. To be a close friend. To be someone that people want or need in their lives. I feel like people see me as disingenuous and fake, and I don't want to be, but I feel like I am. I don't have any redeeming qualities, and at this point I just want out.

Thank you for your work 😃

as an infp...my family was not really content with me drawing all time or trying to enter a competition; I was portrayed as lazy and whatsoever they might've called me welp, I did not care that much to tell them how they are not understanding my point but instead I acted, in the end I got accepted and they even tried to help!

I really needed to hear this

The drop in the beat(0:07) though lol...INFP

This is a Real cool video well said and in a way for INFPs to understand but Not feel pushed lol anyway I am older now and I understand that now but I wish somebody knew how to explain that to me sooner so I hope it’s gonna help all other young INFPs stop f procrastinating lol

Wow. That's great advice.

As an INFP, I can say this is so true and the issue I tell everyone about is basically the trash education system of my country ( India) and I think education system should be changed a lot and shouldn't be based on memorization. Instead of spending truckloads of money on army, government should focus on better education system. But nobody around me seems to care 😕. And they think I am a weirdo . I am a little weird because I am an infp but still....

Nice wording, Nathan!

So happy to see fellow INFPs in the Comment Section :)

😂😂 you right... I'm never interested in winning... I remember playing chess in a championship... The guy I was playing was so nerves, I thought he was going to cry there way he was acting... I just put my king down, without even thinking... Everyone was so confused as in why would I do that... he was surprised as well.. relieved too. We both didn't win at the end lol but we both won some games and lost some... I never regretted my decision, my teacher wasn't pleased with me though

Dude love your insights! I am fucking so confused on my career ! All jobs i tried so far have been plain life sucking or so low paying that i cant even pay my education debt. Infps shit is killing me !!

Am I the only one INFP who blames my non-success or success (is never my fault because I'm perfect) because of my INFPness (word I recently made) and then giggles about the word "INFPness" because I said "penis" Yeah, sorry..

for me, to win as INFP: you feel you are in the harmony of your life. You can 'read' it and do it fearless

As an INFP, I think one misconception, at least with me, is I don't have very many 'values' really. So when people say we have all these 'values' that does not feel accurate to me. The few I do have however, I take very seriously. I know this can be a challenge to people who see me as being very laid back until they trip over one of my values they didn't know about. As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at communicating my values when someone get's close to the line, so neither of us is caught off guard.