Human Resources | Don McMillan Comedy

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2 ай бұрын

Let's all give each other some binary high fives
#donmcmillan #agt #standupcomedy
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🤓Don’s Bio🤓
America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.

Пікірлер: 140

@javabean215 2 ай бұрын

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. That's clearly a hardware issue!

@TheDwarvenDefender 2 ай бұрын

Maybe you don't need to change it; Try updating your lightbulb's firmware.

@breathstealer5486 2 ай бұрын

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

@ianhopping105 2 ай бұрын

How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a software problem...

@Yupppi 2 ай бұрын

God damn software engineer didn't program my lightbulb's microchip correctly.

@cellphonesmartphone7496 Ай бұрын

What is parent proccess says to child process ? I fork you.

@Dethneko 2 ай бұрын

I've probably heard the binary high five joke at least 101 times, and only now just got it.

@markeastwood74 Ай бұрын

That is the other of the 10 possible outcomes. 😁

@SamWhitlock 2 ай бұрын

101 = 5 in binary. It really is "high five" 😂

@PJBonoVox 2 ай бұрын

No shit, Sherlock.

@spencergsmith 2 ай бұрын

@@PJBonoVoxI didn’t know that, so his comment was helpful, Sherlock.

@jakeg3126 2 ай бұрын

@@PJBonoVoxyou must be a nerd if you knew that

@brucemaloy4769 2 ай бұрын

Technically it's 0101 in binary. They are 4 bytes of storage.

@PJBonoVox 2 ай бұрын

@@brucemaloy4769 Those are bits, not bytes. If you're going start a sentence with 'technically' you might wanna try and not be wrong.

@mrwonk 2 ай бұрын

I give the annual harassment seminar for my workplace. I wrote the powerpoint and do it as a 1 hour comedy stand-up. it is my excuse to say all the things I'm not allowed to the rest of the year. I work with almost exclusively women, so it is a blast to see them all in tears over the jokes and humor. Of course, I have a two drink minimum and make sure they finish their first before I start; I'm no Don McMilan, so I need them a bit tipsy to get the ball rolling :)

@royksk 2 ай бұрын

I bet you like 'em tipsy to get your balls rollin' 🤪

@mikewurlitzer5217 2 ай бұрын

In a former position, I was with a group of women and the topic came up about a couch in the women's bathroom. One estrogen challenged woman with very short hair, if you know what I mean, asked if there was a couch in the men's bathroom. To which I replied: "I don't know, as I am in Management, and I have someone go to the bathroom for me. Shut her up right quick.

@edgabel6814 2 ай бұрын

Getting the ball rolling. Isn’t that an inappropriate statement?

@rennoc6478 2 ай бұрын

@@edgabel6814not in all contexts

@Zeero3846 Ай бұрын

What a guy! He let's all the ladies finish one off first!

@Ryarios 2 ай бұрын

Several years ago a company I worked for had a ‘professional’ come in and do SH training. After about 4 hours, we all learned that anything we did or didn’t do that involved a person of the opposite gender was SH. Talk to them/don’t talk to them. SH. Tell them a joke/don’t tell them a joke. SH. Shake their hand/don’t shake their hand. Sit by them at lunch or don’t. It’s all SH. Because it only matters what the other person says SH is. The HR manager was livid. I think everyone in the place was about ready to quit and everyone just knew they were going to get a cold shoulder. That was the first - and last SH training we ever had there.

@MrRedstoner 2 ай бұрын

If nothing else, the training gave you one thing, confirmation that the HR manager is able to identify and learn from mistakes

@bennyattar8862 2 ай бұрын

Been there, but it was a couple of decades ago. Repeating a joke you heard on prime time TV or leaving a copy of "Vogue" magazine on your desk was SH. We were all thinking, it's all BS, our co-workers are our best friends here.

@mom.left.me.at.michaels9951 Ай бұрын

As a woman I'm not understanding how all this non sexual stuff becomes SH. O.o like who's is upset by puns and dad jokes? It's really damping the actual message. Everyone worried about how they're joke is going to land. As long as you aren't like grabbing ass or trade "favors" for promotion or constantly hitting on someone at their desk, should be fine. Seems pretty simple. It also makes it harder for dudes who do get harassed, it's all so focused on women not being upset that we just totally gloss over that real abuse happens to guys to.

@Ryarios Ай бұрын

@@mom.left.me.at.michaels9951 because you’re reasonable but, the problem is the fact that what becomes SH is solely left up to the person on the receiving end. Intent means exactly nothing. If nothing else, it opens the company up for suits by an opportunistic employee.

@ronaldkonkoma4356 Ай бұрын

SNL - Tom Brady did a video which clearly explains the issue.

@johnnycasswell7290 2 ай бұрын

"If you do it right it's NOT harrassment!" 😂😂

@eolsunder 15 күн бұрын

and its true. Women don't mind attention and harassment from guys that they like. I knew guys who really harassed women in the workplace, and the women loved the attention because they liked the guy. The other 99% of the guys who worked there couldn't do it they would get reported, but its ok if the RIGHT guys do it. They don't wear sexy outfits for nothing, they do it for attention, they just only want the attention from the guys that THEY want attention from.

@qpr543 2 ай бұрын

Software engineers have search engines, so they are engineers - sort of.😊

@sandilemngomezulu5680 2 ай бұрын

No they not...

@oldfartinthenight9201 2 ай бұрын

If you can't use a hammer, spanner or slap it in grease, it's not Engineering. Electrical Engineers get a pass as they help make our stuff move, but nothing below 240v 😁.

@qpr543 2 ай бұрын

@@oldfartinthenight9201 it is unfortunate that people don't like a joke.

@oldfartinthenight9201 2 ай бұрын

@@qpr543 I'm old and ugly enough to live with that 😅.

@qpr543 2 ай бұрын

@@oldfartinthenight9201 I do agree about hammer, grease etc. But there are these species - software engineers, engg. managers & so on. They like to call themselves engineers 😊

@bdg77 Ай бұрын

I saw a book with that title at a place where I did a service call. I asked if it was a " how too". Best laugh I ever got at work. Couldn't crack that joke now a days.

@bilboswaggings 2 ай бұрын

HR is such an apt name They are not humans, they are human resources

@frequentlycynical642 2 ай бұрын

That department used to be called Personnel. Not special enough. Like called garbage collectors sanitation engineers. I swear, if I owned a company, no HR. Personnel.

@stensoft 2 ай бұрын

The name is not about them. YOU are the human resource.

@cragonaut 2 ай бұрын

@@stensoftthis 100%. It's the business reminding you (and indeed itself) that you are just a cell in a spreadsheet somewhere. Nothing more than a unit of labor.

@Descriptor413 Ай бұрын

Like soylent green

@NeroVingian40 Ай бұрын

It’s a cookbook!

@ditto1958 2 ай бұрын

Engineers ARE known for their humor. In college they had their own newspaper, and the joke section picked on business administration majors (biz adders).

@randyk636 Ай бұрын

How can you tell an introvert engineer from and extrovert engineer? The extrovert looks at the other guy’s shoes

@chrissmith7669 Ай бұрын

That is my all time favorite as engineer

@studio48nl 15 күн бұрын

When a software engineering gives a high 5, he/she thinks, wait... that's 31... 😂

@ObePawnKenobi 2 ай бұрын

He is excellent

@rgfromkl3594 2 ай бұрын

This is brilliant comedy especially the ppt part. Then we have in India where 7/10 young person is an engineer and 4/5 comedians are engineers 😅. Accurate stats btw

@alm2187 2 ай бұрын

I'd have clicked a lot sooner if the slide at 3:01 had been on the thumbnail! 🤗

@elviejodelmar2795 16 күн бұрын

A real sign in a female workers cubical in the 1990s: "I don't report sexual harassment, but I do grade it."

@arjanhurkmans9190 2 ай бұрын

Don, the first and probably only engineer who might get cancelled because of offensive powerpoint jokes :-) ..

@alm2187 2 ай бұрын

0:54 What kind of mathematical sense does that make? Did he do three shows a day for decades? 🤗

@mr.textwall5327 2 ай бұрын

He's an engineer. That's approximation + acceptable tolerance.

@mr.textwall5327 2 ай бұрын

He's an engineer. That's approximation + acceptable tolerance.

@dippst 2 ай бұрын

he paced up and down the steps. taking approximately 12 seconds each time, he could step on that stage 300 times per hour. pace for 4 hours before each show, and he'd only need to do about 42 shows.

@alm2187 2 ай бұрын

That works, @@dippst 😎 Also makes me realize someone who's content to keep a job for long enough a tenure that includes sweeping the stage more than once daily would be on it that many times. One could have fun bragging about all those moments onstage and see how often he/she/they gets asked what kind of performance it was.

@grizzlybear73 2 ай бұрын

Nerd woodie = nerdon

@erikziak1249 2 ай бұрын

2:48 LOL. I actually laughed out loud in front of my computer with my cat surprised and staring at me, even though she had surgery today, she was sterilized. But the anesthesia already wore off and she is full of energy again.

@mikeehrmantraut2607 2 ай бұрын

you need to find friends

@sandilemngomezulu5680 2 ай бұрын

@@mikeehrmantraut2607 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅, that's 30 seconds of my life I'll never get back reading about a cat I don't know.

@PJBonoVox 2 ай бұрын

What the hell? Get out more.

@shadowdancer8572 2 ай бұрын

Cuddles to your cat! 🥰

@erikziak1249 2 ай бұрын

@@shadowdancer8572 Thanks, she is doing well. No complications and she calmed down a lot.

@samdumaquis2033 Ай бұрын

Haha

@djr3386 2 ай бұрын

Anti-sexual harrassment seminars are the need of the hour. With so many sexual harrasment seminars in workplace no wonder there is rise in sexual harrasment in the workplace.

@brionthomsen7479 2 ай бұрын

you know you are getting old if you can remember a time when harass was 2 words

@ukavac1 2 ай бұрын

yea

@r.h.7633 Ай бұрын

Bladdy funny

@DR-di4di 2 ай бұрын

They have also eliminated competition through the building code. I was common at one to have rental suites in private homes. Take a look how that goes these days. Business license,apartment up to code in an existing home$100,000, suite in a new home $60,000. Tax on every dollar you bring and moving into a higher tax bracket. And after all that the tenants have more rights than you have. The homeless crisis is intentionally caused by well meaning idiots trying to save one child and a result dooming millions.

@tano1747 Ай бұрын

What the? How does this comment relate to the video????????

@DR-di4di Ай бұрын

@@tano1747 you’re the first one to notice. Maybe others just gave their head a shake and moved on. You are correct this video belongs in the comment section of a video about building cost out of control. The premise was borrowing rates. I agree that is partly the reason. Building codes and other regulations are more of a burden.

@The_Midnight_Bear Ай бұрын

@@DR-di4di And the video is about HR and sexual harrasment.

@brickyrobot8932 2 ай бұрын

software engineer is a "smart writer" 🤣

@mrbro9675 Ай бұрын

There's a saying at my workplace, that there's no good software engineer who doesn't sniff lines. Haha!

@erikziak1249 2 ай бұрын

1:41 so true! Not an engineer!

@rosiefay7283 2 ай бұрын

Claims to be a hardware engineer, not a software engineer. Flexes uses of Powerpoint --- a software app.

@jsquared1013 2 ай бұрын

Powerpoint is ubiquitous. How else to update the mgmt on progress of a hardware project, funding needs, etc 😆

@SaHaRaSquad 2 ай бұрын

Software engineers tend to use better programs than that.

@BoraHorzaGobuchul 2 ай бұрын

Engineers use a lot of pp.

@BoraHorzaGobuchul 2 ай бұрын

@@SaHaRaSquadnah, they're just maybe more suitable for their specific area, if at all. More likely, it's just an uppity masonic kind of thing.

@LyleAshbaugh 2 ай бұрын

Type of engineer refers to what you create, not what tools you use.

@Yupppi 2 ай бұрын

This video should be titled something like "Engineers are funny".

@EliteMacFreak Ай бұрын

You should do a lecture, twisting all the usual HR slides you usually see.

@fobbitoperator3620 2 ай бұрын

This is horseshit...& I like it!

@cjfee 2 ай бұрын

A Latte with no foam is a flat white.

@AlanEmmons-qw6bg 54 минут бұрын

So your saying byte me? That's not nice but its sadly true!🤔. Ponder that and RAM it or ROM it your preference! And Win:/ Don't: DOS// me dude. Oh software is so funny?😵!

@Malisti04 2 ай бұрын

Go ahead try and steal his jokes, we wont notice.

@ghaznavid 2 ай бұрын

That video was like a party without alcohol - no punchline

@Cypher791 2 ай бұрын

It’s only harassment if you are not attractive or poor… ☝️😌

@rennoc6478 2 ай бұрын

Can forget charismatic as well

@xraselver7634 2 ай бұрын

And some people said "there is no politics here, it's only about jokes". Well everything is pretty much politics and ofcourse gets used in jokes.

@mikewurlitzer5217 2 ай бұрын

As a retired corporate engineer and former owner of an Engineering Consulting firm, I've very glad I am not anywhere near the workforce today. Women in the work place have become a land mine which can never offset anything they may bring to a company. At anytime a "Yes" can and will become a "No" regardless of the time duration. A joke can be unilaterally determined by any woman, again, at any time to be offensive. And our "Innocent until PROVEN guilty has become, "If a woman claims it, no proof will ever prove your innocence".

@greglamm5986 Ай бұрын

I am a Title IX Coordinator and have worked as both a coordinator or investigator for 10 years. I gave 37 presentations last semester to various groups of students and employees at our school last semester. This comment is total bs. It does not portray what is actually going on at all.

@mikewurlitzer5217 Ай бұрын

@@greglamm5986 The only BS would be you as, I was a Corporate Director of Engineering for one of the largest co. in our line of business and I traveled world wide for over 26 years and yes women are too dangerous.

@sird2333 Ай бұрын

Women ruin everything

@mrbro9675 Ай бұрын

@@greglamm5986 No, it's literally happening even in high school. I've been taken to principal many times, because girls said that I was "looking at them" in a wrong way, even though I didn't, matter of fact I am probably the cleanest person out there when it comes to doing degenerate stuff. Nowadays most of the women are just silly, they are filled with pictures of perfect men on their phones, and they have high requirements JUST TO BE IN A ROOM WITH THEM AND NOT CALL YOU A GRAPER!!!!