the thought of my closest friends having a blackmail folder against me it’s pretty creepy, I’m glad it’s illegal

My sister got into a car accident and her first thought was how she just bought the sweater she was wearing and she wouldn't let them cut the sleeve to treat her broken arm so she insisted on taking it off and sitting on the side of the road in her bra in the middle of winter in upstate new york🤣🤣

Maybe unpopular opinion but someone not enjoying giving head isn’t a red flag but rather a boundary? If you’re doing something that you don’t enjoy and find gross, just to please someone else because they will be sad otherwise it almost feels rapey like there’s pressure being put on to do something you don’t want to. I think no head is a boundary that is fair to set and if it’s a deal breaker for the other person then they can leave, but nobody should have to feel bad for not being comfortable performing certain sexual acts. Sincerely a bisexual woman who loves both vaginas and penises. I’d never expect someone to “suck it up and do it anyways” for me

girl you gotta stop putting the secret first with no context because that notification is TERRIFYING 💀💀😭

i like that the therapist isn’t so insistent that things r traumatic cuz i’ve had bad therapists that insist on me being traumatized (because i thought the thought of my parents/ pets having sex is disgusting)

The “I’m addicted to male attention” secret is exactly what I’ve been going through my whole life and no one else can relate and I’ve always felt so guilty It was so relieving to know there are other girls who struggle with this

I think both parties have the right to explain to each other why they want something and why the other one isn’t comfortable doing it. Maybe he wants a partner who doesn’t want head because he’s uncomfortable giving it. Maybe she wants the opposite! Communication is key in ALL relationships, and if her boyfriend genuinely doesn’t enjoy going down on people they both get to decide how they want to go on from there. Not all men that don’t like giving head are selfish, but a few can be, so I think it’s fine that she is curious as to why he’s so reluctant to do it. I think they should talk to each other about the why’s and how’s and see how they want to continue the relationship (if at all) from there!!

My boyfriend loves going down on me. I’m not taking showers twice a day. He has literally told me that he would eat me out after a week of not showering. I go down on him when he’s sweaty after work. What she should understand is that if he won’t do it but she does it all the time, STOP doing it

I kinda miss the old style of these videos, Not that I don’t like the podcast 😭 but the originals felt more personal?🚶🏻

The first one - I disagree with "dump him." I think there's a lot of room for nuance in those situations and it sounds like they have a healthy relationship other than this one thing. He could have sensory issues tbh, like maybe he's neurodivergent, and even if he hasn't been diagnosed with something like that, you never know. I was only diagnosed with autism when I was 21 and now a lot of things that tasted/looked/smelt/felt "bad" make a lot of sense to me now as I now know that, that is sensory issues. Not saying he definitely has that with oral sex but just saying that it is definitely a possibility. I think the appropriate thing to do is talk to him, ask if he doesn't like it cause the person doesn't even actually know if he really does not like it cause they haven't talked about it with him. If he says he doesn't like it, question as to why and what you can do to make that better. If there is anything that will make it better/easier for him and it's reasonable, do it. If not, and/or if he really is just being selfish, or if there is nothing that will make it better for him (i.e., if he has something like sensory issues around it), tell him that if he doesn't want to go down on you, then you think it is only fair that you shouldn't be expected to go down on him. Even in the case of sensory issues, this should be said because it is unfair on you if you want reciprocation and don't get it, even if he has a valid reason for not eating you out. If he does have a valid reason/isn't just being selfish, approach the statement that you won't go down on him either then with understanding - if he is being genuine, he should understand this concept and accept it. If your discussion does not go well and you still feel hurt by him, then break up with him. But I just don't think that bedroom issues are automatically a reason to break up with someone. Sex isn't everything and communication first is super important. Not mad at any of you on the podcast btw, just wanted to add this! We all have our own opinions and that is fine. 🥰 Love this series.

no cause why are we not talking about 40+ yr old men are creeping on a 16 yr old????????? why are we not focused on that? what do they gain out of a sexual relationship with someone in high school. and then on top of that, we don’t even know how long this guy knew the son. how long has he been waiting for the opportunity. it’s very scary and we can’t just ignore it wtf

will you go back to the OG format anytime soon? I mainly watched this series for entertainment, and not to analyze each secret or individual. i am proud of the growth but it was perfect the way it was

I’m gonna be honest, I know there’s no way for you guys to prove is someone is lying but that dude who “slept with his dads bestfriend” just sounded like he was lying and making stuff up as he went to just get to talk to you

YAYY MEREDITH’S BACK!! so excited to listen to my fave podcast again 🫣🫣

that Dear Man technique was so helpful and awesome. it was also so funny to watch alyx look her “therapist” in the eye and state “I WANT you to go down on me.”

Alyx, it’s incredibly poignant and relatable of what you said about trauma. Sometimes originally it feels fine even a few years after, then more years later it hits with a full force. I can understand and feel your apprehension about what the caller was saying and also not wanting to be invalidating of his feelings. It’s comfortable to be in the “chill” stage, but may possibly be subconscious denial as a coping mechanism and hope he just knows more feelings may (or may not) come up. Despite state laws, the power dynamic between a group of older vs a vulnerable younger struggling with seeking acceptance and given physical satisfaction was fully wrong on the adults part. Whatever the caller feels now, the most important thing is that he knows he can reach out for help if he needs more to process for whatever comes up in the future. It’s awesome that you guys gave him that space to talk for the very first time! P.S. I’m genuinely so grateful that the seaweed injury didn’t pull you under the waves! Feeling the hilariously embarrassing moment was fully worth your continued life! ❤️

Did the therapist say 'suck it up' to the girls boyfriend who doesn't enjoy going down on her? That makes me scared to ever go to therapy. How do I know what they are teaching me is healthy? He shouldn't have to do anything he feels uncomfortable doing, but I think only that girl will know the difference between him truly being uncomfortable and him just being a man who only wants to be pleased himself. I think they just need to talk together and ask him why he might be so hesitant, and if he really truly doesn't enjoy it then maybe they just aren't meant to be together.

Hearing your stories about going to the hospital made me laugh. It reminded me of my grandmother. She had a heart attack but did her makeup not even seconds after, and made my aunt do her hair. At the last second she remembered she wasn’t wearing any panties and the EMT’s saw her 😭😭😭 she was literally begging my aunt and my aunt said no. They also took home the hospital blankets. My aunt still has them

I disagree with the first one, it’s brutal but you can love someone and not want to go down on them, cultural, sexual etc differences. There are a lot of factors. We need to be more understanding of people preferences.

24:12 IMAGINE IF HIS DAD WAS THERE AS WELL

the reaction to the first secret makes me sad… :( if someone doesn’t want to go down on you in a certain way it doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Doing or not doing oral is just a boundary, and plenty of healthy relationships cut out parts of intimacy that are considered “common” like blowjobs. of course, if that’s something you can’t do without in a relationship, then yes, it may be better to break up. But it shouldn’t be an obligatory thing to expect to give head or to receive it. It’s all about communication. You have to talk to your partner(s) to realize what everyone is and isn’t comfortable with, and find a way to make everything equal. I also hate the idea that being comfortable with everything your partner wants sexually is the indicator that you’re each other’s “person” or not. it’s not.

Another wonderful episode! ❤️ I really love the thoughtful discussions about each secret and hearing everybody's perspective. I also love how respectful you all are towards each person's experiences and their feelings about them. This is said with zero tea zero shade obviously, but I noticed this episode is a little shorter and there were no quasi-confessions, just know I'd watch/listen to this podcast for hours so I missed that but again not criticizing that at all, I'll take any and all content you give us! This podcast seemed go to so fast and looking forward to next week!! :D ps. We need an update on British Florida guy!! (If you're comfortable sharing!!)

I love you and everything you do omg. Your videos absolutely make my day, even if they are a bit traumatizing🤪❤️

Therapist came in with the HEAT on the shoe game sheeeeeeesh

PLEASE POST HIGHLIGHTS FROM THESE PODCASTS they’re too good 😭

i havent finished watching yet but we need an update on harry from the last episode

Okay, I'mma say this on the first one, the joking about it PREOMOTES SEXUAL ASSAULT TO BE SEEN AS OKAY. And If people comment I don't care, I know people will argue, and that's whatever, I'm not responding to anything I don't have the time nor patience to argue. The THERAPIST saying 'suck it up'..... that's disturbing.... people always auto go to that stuff being selfish and 'not fair' and I'm sure that is cases. BUT THAT MENTALLY, I don't care if the person is male, female, nonbinary, or any combination in between.... Someone saying they don't like something sexual, and being told to 'suck it up for their partner to be happy' is LITERALLY TAKING AWAY CONSENT. "I'll break up with you if you don't like doing this. If you love me you'll do this." All those are DIRECT QUOTES from situations of sexual assault of r*pe cases. TO DEFAULT TO THE MEN ALL BEING SELFISH OR IT BEING A HYGIENE ISSUE IS HARMFUL AND PEOPLE HEARING THAT WILL MAKE THEM THEIR ASSAULTER IS IN THE RIGHT! It's rare I disagree with things in this video, but this is a topic I hear SO many Ciswoman gossip and mock men for. Again selfish people and hygiene issues are reasons. Please people of any sex and gender, if something like this is happening, find out if it IS just a preference thing before jumping to conclusions, DO NOT MAKE YOUR PARTNER/S FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING THAT THEY DON'T LIKE.

I kind of wish you would choose more believable secrets for the talking section because i feel like i can never listen through them lol, its always so cringy. I feel like im just hearing someone struggle to lie on the spot about something they made up. The concept is super interesting but this one was especially off putting for me. It just sounds like this guy came up with a creepy porno fantasy and shared it as a secret.

Best notifications I ever receive are for this podcast 😌

negotiating sexual needs in a relationship is normal. saying that if someone doesn't want to do a sexual act on you then they should be dumped, or if a conversation (like D.E.A.R. M.A.N.) needs to be had then they're "not right for you" is incredibly toxic and unfortunately indicative of r culture and acephobia. i am very disappointed that a licensed professional did not take that conversation more seriously or with the heaviness it deserves. you should never assume someone's intentions, especially if you're trying to have a healthy relationship with them. in this situation, a conversation needs to be had, and they should assess their boundaries as a couple and see if they need to seek out other partners or compromise somehow. this allosexual behavior is why so many people like me are coerced into sex that they do not want, or feel afraid to voice their sexual preferences to their partners. i am very disappointed that as a society people still think it's respectful to dismiss other people's sexual interests as "selfish" or to insist someone break up rather than have a healthy conversation with their partner. i am also disappointed that you as a queer woman have not made sure you were more educated on what members of our community go through, even when you don't fall into that category. we need to uplift each other in everything we do, and should strive to always be mindful of how our words are. part of DBT is an emphasis on compassion-based thinking, and effective communication. i fail to see any compassion or effectiveness in telling this person to not communicate. maybe i am sensitive to this topic, because my best friend in highschool was r-worded by her then boyfriend when she said she didn't want to give him oral because she didn't like it with him, he then forced her because he felt entitled. you are never entitled to anyone else performing a sexual act on you, no matter you relationship status or gender. saying cis men are naturally more selfish when it comes to sex and dismissing this situation the way you all did also encourages the toxic masculinity ideation of men not being allowed to express their wants/desires unless those wants/desires fall into a "manly" category.

9:34 that "ohhh...hmm" has me cackling 🤣

That second secret hit home. I dont think its right to do something like that because esentially she/he is betraying the trust of the other person. I had a "Bestfriend" who did this too me. And when i stopped talking to her because life got rough for me, she "exposed me" but she took everything out of context and only used everything she had in her favor and didnt show anything negative she said or did towards me. Which made me not trust anyone that shows me screenshots of anyone because who knows if they are doing the same thing behind my back

I am really enjoying your podcast Alyx! I think is so cool that you are teaching everyone dbt skills. I truly believe everyone could benefit from learning, not just people w bpd. & I really like the therapist she seems to really care and like they want to help. I appreciate this podcast more than you know. You really are wise and it’s nice to see how other people learn to cope and heal. Love you, Keep being you!

Ily you’re so awesome 😭😭

I didn't realise our loved therapist joining Alyx was inked up, woohoo!!!

We love Meredith!!! Y’all together is so iconic

lmaoo that dude is lying his ass off

This has made Thursdays my fave day of the week🥹🥹I love this sh*t

That ad placement 😂😂😂

i love alyx so much but i really wish she would look into betterhelp more. i've heard so many horrible stories about them. i'm sure if alyx knew she wouldn't still be posting about the company :(

So excited to listen to this and clean 💃♥️

Oof your opinions on the first one are problematic

dump him?? because he doesn’t want to do a sexual act on her…? really?! everyone has different sexual preferences. they shouldnt be dumped for that. still should have a talk with him to better understand where he is coming from. but dump him?.. i’m actually so disappointed with that take :/

Absolutely adoring these videos! Have me addicted

love the better help ad immediately after the Going Down On Your Partner debate/chat

I look forward to these so much but that notification was wild

The "N" in DEARMAN is useful for situations where like, for example, you need it to be quiet at night and they want to watch movies because it's their time when they unwind, you can negotiate on different strategies like using headphones, taking on some other task in the evening so they can start recreating earlier, whatever else you can work together on to get both needs met. Your need to sleep is absolutely non-negotiable. HOW you get the need met I think is the negotiate part, working together and considering different solutions that take into account everyone's needs, abilities, boundaries, etc. You should not be expected to compromise and abandon part of what your NEEDS are, those are NEEDS, it's a hard line, getting that need met is non-negotiable. How you _go about_ getting that need met is the whole point of DEARMAN, in my understanding--working with others, instead of unilaterally trying to fix the situation or staying silent, which can result in conflict and/or misery and generally is unsuccessful at instituting real solutions to interpersonal problems.

ouchhh omg i've literally dislocated both of my knees at the same time so i can feel your pain 100% 😭

I was in a motorcycle accident leaving Best Buy after buying my first MacBook. My first thought when I stood up was “your paying for my laptop if it’s broken!” Meanwhile I suffered from Herniated disc’s😂😅

“How do you get warmed up?” Look at your hands, what’s connected to them? 😂 Alyx forgot about fingers haha

I hope she does the normal videos again... I personally don't watch these and miss the older ones :(

Got the notification while working and best believe I stopped doing what I was doing ✨priorities✨

You know I have to be early sometimes to the KZfaq version of my favorite podcast❤️

23:53 lmaooo 💀

At first I thought you were annoyed 😅 Then I realized ❣️ You are so amazing and strong❣️❤️ im not sure if you have shared it before and i haven’t seen it but anyways ILOVE your podcasts they make my job alot more bearable😅❤️ keep doing what makes you happy! I wish nothing but blessings and positive energy❣️

bring back the uber pranks queen 🥺i miss them

Well thats one hell of an intro 💀

BEST PODCAST EVER

With the question if it's bad that you thought of work first. It makes sense to be worried about certain things as long as in the end you still put YOU first! It's not a bad thing if work is A priority, but it shouldn't be your first priority.

I’m loving this podcast so much 😍

You posted !!

I hope these podcasts are making Alyx RICH ASF

thank you for reading the first secret (it wasn’t me who submitted it) bc it did allow a good and helpful conversation to occur between me and my boyfriend😊

Too short! I need more!

The first secret: some men are just selfish and impatient. My ex barely ever went down on me, but I reciprocated almost every time we were intimate. I know for a fact I didn’t taste or smell bad (I have tasted it myself, no that’s not gross, and I always shower before I ask for oral, and I’m very very very conscious of any smells), but he just didn’t want to cause he was impatient. My bf is the opposite, and he loves to do it. I don’t get it often (I would if I asked for it more), but it’s nice knowing he likes it

Sighs opening up a rift with or without y’all *anxiously looks to clouds for a gat city drone*

That phone call overwhelmed me so much I had to skip through it

i love ur hair in this ep

literally took notes on the dear man thing. live laugh love communication skills

.......this is insane. Those men need to be in jail idc if 16 is legal in some states it doesnt make it right cause 16 is still a CHILD

Let me boost your ego real quick, you're very beautiful and have such a unique persona and down to earth soul. If I didn't see hermione granger when I was 5, you would've been my gay awakening, Excited to see if there's an update on Harry.

My secret: I have the BIGGEST crush on Meredith and simply don’t know how I’d handle having her as my therapist

Knee dislocations are sooo painful!!! I'm so sorry!!! I have hEDS so I have knee dislocations a lot, and I would never wish them upon my worst enemy. If it's a sprain I'm assuming you had a knee subluxation, where the patella goes out, but goes back in on its own.

The dads bsf story sounded like a lie lol

I literally grabbed a pen and paper to work through the Dear Man method and then wasn't prompted at all... how you gunna do that to me.

You learn somthing new everyday

Love you 😽

44:48 "dear man" dbt technique

i met a girl online, we like each other. i'll see her face to face next week but i am a dumb person.. im scared about this😭

Meredith!!!

I'm sorry but the story was very unbelievable... the having your mom sign you out of school even though you're in college?

To the girl who is recording her “friends” not only is it extremely invasive and messed up but she’s going to lose these said “friends” when they catch her recording something they’re telling her in confidence. It’s kinda of psychopath behavior. Especially because you don’t trust people… when you’re the one that people can’t trust.. kinda scary

Love you

I think these are trauma responses. Lot of people tend to have those thoughts during injuries.

Another wild episode. Love when you bring your therapist on she’s a great addition!

did i miss ep 5 with harry omg im behind

I feel like no one remembers one of the biggest thing at college that you did, I feel like you should do a story time on that.

Okay buy is it bad that I've thought about doing the blackmail thing too the only think is stopping me is snapchat ss notifications

wait its illegal to record people? i have so much in my voice memos/videos of an abuse situation i was in as a kid- and i was trying to get a lawyer to bring the recordings to court to get away from my dad so will *I* get in troulbe if i brought that to a lawyer/court?

The person who submitted the second secret seems like they really meet the criteria of being bpd

NO CAUSE I JUST LEARNED DEAR MAN IN THERAPY YESTERDAY

Enjoyed the video as always. Also I already love amanda and meredith. I have a suggestion for the production! Because the person you talked on the phone with today had a deeper voice it was a bit hard for me to understand him. Maybe in such cases you could not lower the voices as much or add subtitles? Can’t wait for the next episode

I just submitted one I hope you read it I need the help 😭😂

SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE TO FIND THIS SWEATERRRR

32:07 THIS SHOULDN’T BE FUNNY BUT WITH THE VOICE EFFECT..

Did anyone else notice Alix's voice sounded higher than normal here? Maybe just a sore throat. Just interesting

To the girl whose man won't go down on her. Drink more water

I honestly have been a fan for so long and won't stop now but the therapist and Amanda are pretty annoying at times....like they will rant and interrupt and end discussions at places where it feels unnatural and I honestly just wish it was a little bit of a background thing again with Amanda also the therapist was wrong for the "suck it up" comment like that's just not something you say

Anh hát bằng cả trái tim bảo sao mà cứ ngọt lịm như vậy. Bài nào cũng cảm xúc luôn

i feel like alot of the comments are going to disagree but dumping him bc he wont go down on u is okay. If ur needs arent being forfilled then its okay to leave and find someone who well forfill them for you. Also why r u guys just assuming he is nd, alot of men just dont like going down on girls. Yes neurotypical men can not like going down on girl just bc they dont wanna 🤯🤯🤯