I can relate to much of what you're saying here on a lot of levels. I'm a visual artist, so I understand the struggles of pushing yourself, making decisions, and getting over those humps. What you're describing at the end sounds like the frustrations of growing as an artist, and confusing your inspiration with competition. And yes I absolutely agree it IS disheartening! But here's the thing: Are you going to let that stop you from pursuing your dreams? Hell no! I constantly see the work of artists that are much more talented and practiced than I am and it sometimes feels the same way you described when you said "go get so-and-so to do it and do it better than me", but I think that recognition is a critical moment! Then, its very important to study the hell out of why you see that as so much better than your work and what specifically you can do to push yourself in that direction, but without the intention of biting anyone's style and using the knowledge to help guide your own unique vision. I agree about failing forward! The way I've described this in my own head is it's like a snag. Once you pull away and "un-snag", there is momentum there to propel us forward! Keep doing your thing! Thanks for sharing!

Bro I hated on ur other video. I apologize bcuz u told some real shit on here no joke.