Your friend seems very informed and level headed. I have been married to my wife who has bpd, for 11 years and it has taken me this long to really begin to understand her and the issues she deals with everyday. It is good that you have such a friend as this, good support, which is important for you. I wish my wife had more friends like this. Cherish and value her friendship. She is a good person to have around you.

Amazing video. You have a really good support system. Very smart friend who most definitely understands

Thanks for posting! It's hard to deal with my BPD father... he seems to have OCD, too, and was abused as a child, maybe also having schizophrenia. When we, my mother and sisters, try to be honest with him, he uses it to insult us later or tries to minimize whatever we talk about. It's becoming more rare to have a few words with him without those two things. He takes over the conversation by repeating the same thing for a long time, like he's talking to himself, even if we don't reply at all.

It's about time, a vid that actually addresses what the receivers get to deal with. Much kudos to those who not only realize they have a serious problem, but they also want to do something about it. They need therapy and medicine to even out the imbalance of neurotransmitters in their brains that make them slide over to the whackadoo page. I have not seen in vids yet anyway anyone addressing the pathological lying, as well as the delusions. I also feel that ppl who refuse to come to terms with the damage that they are doing to everyone around them, they need to be pushed away by those ppl until they agree to get professional help. It's called tough love..... and don't worry if you don't have the strength to push them away, I guarantee you, they will push YOU away. Especially if you have broken your damn neck to be there for them. The more you do, the more they HATE you. Oh today, they love you and you are the best human being on the planet. By next week or sooner, they HATE you, and you were NEVER in their corner. You are painted as a monster. Let's also not forget the sabotage. Anything that will bond you closer to this person, especially if they had a traumatic childhood, they will destroy it before you even get to do whatever it is. Going to a movie, going out to eat, or whatever situation that creates closeness they will have 100 excuses why they can't do it, much of which can be lies. As long as they are free to be nasty, hateful and abusive and we continue to forgive, forgive, forgive, there is NO incentive for them to get professional help. Another thing I haven't seen addressed is the fact that these ppl are walking contradictions. It's like they are different sides of the same coin. For example, one of the ppl I know who has this, is on one hand quite religious, and on the other hand, turns demonic without warning. The face is contorted into this evil facial expression, as if they are auditioning for a horror movie, I am SERIOUS, not kidding. It's scary how that can happen in the blink of an eye and stunning for those who witness it. The best book I have read regarding this madness is called I Hate You, Don't Leave Me. If you are dealing with this crap, this book will be the biggest ah ha moment for you. Run, don't walk to get this book. I am reading it again as a matter of fact.

I could listen to Dutch people talking all day. Also it's kind of weird how the dog gets up and walks off at the exact moment your friend says 'suicide'. your videos are cool and helpful thank you

Your best friend is truly a lovely friend - I had a relationship with someone with BPD -he was the love of my life and the funny thing was I knew about BPD but was too close to see it in him - I so understand what she says - for me it was realising the person I loved was not the person I thought I knew - I was his angel and felt so loved and then was demonised and cut off so quickly and so cruelly - it took a while for me to stop blaming myself or him and just accept.

His female friend is right on, explaining the "grieving process" involved when dealing with a BPD, but this message assumes that all victims of BPD "must" be understanding/forgiving, when some BPDs have wreaked far more damage than others, to the extreme of serially/PURPOSEFULLY destroying multiple marriages and relationships. Her ex, at least, finally admitted he has it. Many other victims of BPDs never get closure from a BPD's crazy making behavior, i.e., gaslighting.

Brilliant video, insightful for someone with BPD as well to see how others may feel about you having it :) I like the way you edited this as well xx

Thanks for this video. We are dealing with our 21 yr old daughter who was diagnosed with BPD around 3 years ago. It's a struggle until today especially since we don't have the kind of support and expertise here in the Philippines. We just rely on whatever knowledge our therapists have on BPD, e-books and videos like yours. There isn't any support group here either. Plus we don't think our daughter has fully accepted that she has BPD. There are times that even being informed doesn't make it any easier for us much more so for our daughter who must be struggling everyday to be happy. Thanks!

I think this is helpful for friends/relatives who know someone with BPD but not a spouse. It's unrealistic to expect us to accept some of the behaviors nor is it okay to accept the abuse they exude to control the relationship. A spouse should be someone who you can rely on/be honest with but from my own experience honesty was not welcomed. Walking on eggshells isn't a way to live. Maybe it's better with one who has more control over their emotions and fears than my STBX but I can't speculate.

Hi Bas and friends! Just wanted to say how wonderful this video has been. My bf of 4 months has for the past 3 weeks acting like he has BPD. Most things I've read from partners of people diagnosed with BPD have been very negative and it's refreshing to see someone dealing with it so well both from your friends and yourself. It gives me hope. It also makes me make some more sense of how i feel about whatever is happening with my bf now. It's the first time I don't feel alone. Thank you. xx

Again, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. This is inspired stuff and extremely helpful for other friends and family out there who need to understand the effects of this disease and what Kurt Vonnegut more generally called 'bad chemicals'. In this case, you can see extremely good chemicals in action. You've made a positive difference, helped widen my perspective and offered invaluable insight into ways I can support a friend of mine who has recently been diagnosed. Thank you.

Real, honest, to-the-point. Thank you for such a great, helpful video.

thats a great concept man! well done! really well done! dont stop makin videos!

This was great, thank you for filming this, was cute when your dog brought the stick too.

It looks like you have an awesome brother, and a beautiful friend who both care a lot.

@XpinkandsparkleyX Thanks!! :) You're welcome of course.

@Popsicleculture Thanks Helen. I'm glad you liked it.

LOVED this. I think these are similar responses my loved ones would give if I asked them how they felt about my BPD. Thank you x

congrats man .. i even could keep my friends .. i think now i have just 2 next friends, but they dont understand the disorder and the depressions ! you a luck man !

First things first. Thank you so much for allowing me to have a part of what you've done, here. I'm truly honored. .As for the video itself, you will make an amazing director/videographer. I love how you used an outside perspective to better illustrate the effects that bpd has on the ones around you, that care the most. This is excellent!!!

Amazing, as always! x

thank you, your best friend is a lovlie soul and i gained alot of good ideas from her sharing.

I have to agree with others here. These videos show a lot of compassion on your part to be able to present this with such a keen mind. Today I am a facilitator for a group called Connection which is put on my NAMI.org. My life has become much more stable since I joined this group with reluctance.

I can't find how to add a comment so I will do so here (sorry). Bas, YOU ARE AWESOME! Thank you so much for your bravery & honesty. My partner is BPD & I am trying to learn how to deal with her. Your honest videos are so helpful. Thank you so much. I come from a family of BPDs & it's no surprise that I ended up with her. But I either have to learn how to deal, or leave. And I'd rather deal.

Another great video!!! SN: I love the dog at 9:22 when he comes out ready to play stick... Made me smile :)

Mijn hart in mijn schoenen! Toch bedankt voor deze video :) Groetjes!

This was extremely helpful thank you!

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD VIDEO ! THANKS ALL FOR SHARING.

wow amazing video bas.. the dog is soo cute too.. stay strong man *hugs* =)

Thank you so much, this helps me alot

@ImperfectlyFine91 Thanks!! I'm doing ok. Thanks for asking :) Hope you are ok too..

@kitesInSpace Thanks. Your comments are always so nice to read.

This is kind of sad. I knew somebody with that problem and I think they must have suffered horribly, so good health and happiness to you. I wish you the best.

so helpful, thank you!

I love a BP and this really helps

That Dog!

Just ask him what he does to calm himself (cause he's to emotional at that point) and let him calm down. After the crisis is down know you can talk and tell him how this make you feel. But most importantly get your family some help and don't be afraid to let your father know your limits. He needs to know them. From a girl that fiance is BPD!

Hey super interessant, sowieso al jou videos. Ik vroeg me af hoe jij reageerde toen je jouw diagnose hoorde. ik ben een man van 24, en kreeg mijn diagnose 1 jaar terug. Oorspronkelijk dacht ik dat ik "avoidant personality disorder had" maar het bleek dus Bdp te zijn. Ik was niet in shock, maar erg verbaasd. ik heb namelijk wel eens vrouwen gedate met bdp en kon mij totaal er niet in vinden. Echter hoe langer ik bij de psycholoog ben, en mezelf hoor praten over mezelf, hoe meer ik realiseer dat dit het is. anyway leuk dat je de moeite neemt om dit soort videos te maken. Ik weet zeker dat je veel mensen er mee helpt

Awesome video!

Hi , I wish i could show this video to my mother so she could get a better understanding of me and maybe even a help to how to make our relationship more stable and positive :) and your friend is gold worth , hold on to her , :)

@MsScarredSoul thank you so much! :)

@delicatecrazee I'm glad you liked it Dee :)

@wrinkledforehead I know it has been two weeks since you posted this comment, but i still want to thank you for posting it! These comments mean a lot to me!!

@deadlypalms Thank you for the comment! I hope it will help a bit with supporting your friend.

Hi Again Bas. I was wondering if you have used DBT as therapy to help with BPD and can you talk a bit about how it works? I like your videos and glad to see your lady in the vids with you too! Bless you both

Hello there, first let me say i love your videos they are extremely helpful in understanding someone with BPD. I believe that my mother has BPD but I don't know how i am suppose to tell her without her pushing away. Right now I'm the only person that will listen and even deal with the outbursts from BPD. how can I try to help her understand what BPD is. Thank you for doing what ur doing don't stop. U might of just saved my relationship with my mother THANK YOU!

I have Never "liked" (clicked the thumbs up) a video & felt more passionate about "liking" it than I have with this one!! AWESOME QUALITY INFO in this Video that explains things from BOTH sides! I would like 2c more videos on this topic but addressing the emotional abuse that is experienced by ...for my example..the wife.

@SuperTamaho Yeah, i hope you liked this video. You are one of the persons that i made this video for, so i am glad that you saw it :)

@ChenoaDesiree Don't be honored silly :) YOU ARE AWESOME! I had trouble with picking out a song because i like them all. Too bad that you don't hear you singing but this way it worked the best for this video. xxx.

Thanks!

@XxcandystarxX Hey Candy :) Hope you are doing ok nowadays. Thanks for the support!

@ninicheriebby Hi, Getting help sounds like a great plan! If you get that (BPD) diagnosis they can help you much better. I hope you are doing ok and that life isn't too hard for you since your sister has bipolar. Take care ok.

You're welcome :)

@MsDementedArts Thanks Kiah!!! :D

@Dreadedaries thanks for the support man!

@TheEmmyR Thanks Emmy! Yeah Noga is beautiful isn't he :)

thank you

Its awesome being in a relationship. With a person that has a BPD..my fiancé is the best makes me laugh smile all of the above...I'm not saying it was easy at first but with time love and more love and some patience its awesome..I'm in this relationship. For life....

@andycol88 Awww that is so sweet of you :) I wish you all the best, dealing with BPD can be so hard.. oh, and her name is Sanne not Michelle by the way ;)

@crazymadonna I did tell them that Judith :) Thank you for your great email by the way!! Big hug, Bas

You chose to be with your spouse and if you can't accept them for who they are then perhaps you aren't with the right person on your life journey. Of course i don't know your history with your partner and if they have been like this from day one, or if it was something you caused, but i do agree that honesty is paramount in any relationship. Peace

You can be very proud and feel lucky to have such great friends who try to understand you :) As you said before, it's hard to deal with someone who has BPD but it's harder to have the disorder by yourself...some people forget about that! They think our disorder is an attack and wants to destroy them...but sometimes it destroys us! Great videos! You do a good job :)

It is simply disgusting when BPD thinks she is entitled. She is not. She is the one who has to change. The only one!

my friend committed himself for 3 months and doesnt want me to see him either. Anyone know possible reasons?

hi let me start by saying that I love your video's! i find them so informative and helpful. my ex fiance had a BPD. i found this out after we broke up. we broke up because his paranoia got really bad and he hit me then stabbed him self in the stomach (it was a small stab but non the less stab in my home in front of my christmas tree) i am very much terrified of that event. For months even couple of days before he did this he would tell me about how much he is in love with me and cant live without me. but that last weekend he just couldn't wait to get out of our relationship only because he got a grant from his school and they were amazing. that last weekend his paranoia got really bad and he hit me several times. is this a normal trade? the sever paranoia and the hitting? its been over 5 weeks that i've seen him or talked to him. he has conditions not to contact me. I don't know what i am suppose to do. does he need me? is he ok? is he over me? should i also stop crying and move on? i am very confused and don't know what i am suppose to do. help me please i am desperate.

What happened to allow you to get the help you need? How did you get a handle on your BPD and become able to deal with it in a better way?

@melissagalatas You're welcome :)

@rescuelullaby Thanks Michelle :) And thanks for the * Favorited*

What if you are co-parenting with someone with BPD? The children are affected by the bizarre behavior and are constantly walking on eggshells.

@karlgookey His English is not the best and I wanted him to be able to speak freely. That's why.

@mynameisjairo Aww that's so sweet! I personally don't think i am good enough for that. But for KZfaq it is fine. (i am not trying to talk bad about myself. I just do what i do on this channel) Have a great weekend!

@MystySunrise Thanks Nic :)

"Don't expect anything from a borderliner, and things will be okay" - is a nonsensical, sweeping statement, similar to "one should do whatever he or she feels like". Would that include rape, murder of innocent beings, slutting about at will (in case of females) and so forth? These people must be helped. And borderline or not (Cluster B or not) - there are certain moral and behavioural guidelines one must adhere to. That doesn't make him or her less of a personality.

I don't really know if I am dealing with someone with BPD but I am really interested in knowing how to deal with someone when the conversations and reactions that they have with you and toward you seem inappropriate...I want to be a more understanding person in that regard and not let my normal reactions get the better of me but to be sensitive to the actual matter at hand

i just got diagnosed anyway i could ask u some questions thanks

@MeAndMyBlackTable I'm getting no help for my BPD. My psychiatrist told me to get a self help book and go on a course of Anti depressions.

@julieisreallycool Thanks J-Dog! :)

@thedanizblog thanks Dani :)

Great video :).. Really interesting :)... hope you are well :) x

Sadly i disagree. It is still the same person as previously... Crying out from the inside. You just view them differently, and no matter how hard you try and hide it, we're accutely aware of that difference, which hurts even more, and creates more feelings of shame... and round and round. My suggested approach in order of importance,.. during what I refer to as an episode: SHOW UP, listen, listen, avoid controversy, speak calmly and acceptingly. Reassure its a safe place for them to.. overreact. Cuz they know thats what it is, and its embarassing.... Thats it. Regardless of the issue, tomorrow could be a totally happy day. 😊❤️

It's hard because I'm going through this right now, I don't know what to do

Yay. nog een Nederlander! :)

PS love the dog...xxx

I hope you know that there is help for family and friends available for people who have "a mental disorder" and I just wanted to tell you that the repeating to himself is a signal that he is having a crisis and the emotions have overcome him and he doesn't know how to deal with that intensity. It call disorganization of the self. It scary I know but it not ocd it a signal say this is too strong I don't know how to handle this...

Nee, zo'n reactie helpt, my God.

you know there is a book called walking on eggshells - about BPD...

sounds like you have to live with egg shells