make more I doubt you'll read this, but bring married doesn't mean you're happy and You can still focus on your career while looking for love. If you want love. Not everyone wants to be married.

Miss Overcomer Everyone wants to be married. The only people that will say otherwise are jealous that they couldn't find anyone yet. You can't be single and be happy when you're in your 30's.

@@mixitup4452 you can be in a long term relationship without getting married which can be achieved from deeply understanding and connecting with our partner rather than some legal contract lol i cant imagine being so ignorant.

well, now ppl are having sex with 15.. gross

My boyfriend is waiting till marriage ! o: Going strong for over two years lol

NeoChromer That's not gross, that's completely natural.

NeoChromer 15 is up comparitively. Girls used to get married when they 12.

NeoChromer people have been having sex at that age or younger for ages. Normal on some cultures, the thing is that for some people having sex was bad. Now we know that talking about being responsible is better.

***** They both have their benefits and drawbacks, like anything we choose to do.

There are advantages & disadvantages to everything.

So basically... just depends on the person :)

@Playpro5 Bro having marriage close to 29 is not good because it gives the feeling of being left out which forces most people to just pick anyone to Marry

just wait until you're 40 and realize all the bush you missed out on lol. jk jk, but you're going to cheat on her if you haven't already

i'll be 21 in three days bitch

but you never denied cheating b/c you did, i win

Just a matter of time.

***** Don't bother arguing your case with him. he's one of "those people".

You forgot to add getting married young to that list.

PervySage finally somebody said it right..... if you're going to move in after marriage you might as well have an arranged marriage....moving after marriage because you're blindly in love, love does not supposed to be blind.... love supposed to be understanding and knowing

You don't have to move in together to live together. You can go over to each others place, move in some stuff, and spend consecutive days together without moving out of your old place. This way you still get the living together experience, but don't have to worry about a lease.

svenypoodles I think that's a good idea before moving in together. I'm a firm believe in taking things by steps and not just jumping straight in. But once again, you can always go home instead of being forced to confront issues in that situation and actually talk things out. Ultimately I think you still need to live together full time before deciding to get married or not.

***** Why do you keep posting nonsense all over the place? As someone who is from Sweden, i have no idea what you got that idea from, or how that would work in practice for that matter...... Are you being funny, or attempting to troll people? Because you fail at both.

***** WHAT did you just say???????????????? sex is illegal in sweden rofl, yeah, that explains how swedish people reproduce... If you were wondering it is legal to have sex in sweden at the age of 15.

***** Where did you hear that from? Men AND women can fuck whoever they like from the age of 15, as long as the other person wants it and isnt sleeping or drugged or under the age of 15.

I. be. Sweden. want.

***** No probs XD I couldnt help myself, Sweden is a very open and "fair" country, gay rights, respect for women ect.

Skimps out on the makeup and reveals the 'cold truth'? More like, *gasp* her naked face. You really think people should have to wear makeup 24/7, or at all?

Bec K naked.. ugly.. face ;)

***** ***** Then I guess the question I'd have to ask the two of you in response is how does that in anyway relate to what I said? At no point did I say they WANTED to get married and to be quite honest, the fact that some parents forced the kids to get married only enforces my reasoning for why these times of lower divorce rates were entirely due to societal change. Before people felt forced to stay married because of society and in a lot of cases they actually were forced to. People always act out of self interest so now that they're not forced to stay married they divorce more frequently. At no point did I say they wanted to stay married before, what I implied is that they never wanted to they were just scared of the consequences of divorcing before when it was more taboo than it was today. I appreciate the two of you for taking the time out of your day to discuss this topic with me, but at the same time I beg you to read a little more carefully and see what the actual topic of my argument is. Thank you.

morning morality I find it hard to understand why you would ask me to take note of something that I already clearly noted in my comment -_-

***** So you figured you'd give me your opinion on a topic you failed to develop a complete understanding of, thanks guy.

Yes, but they weren't allowed to get divorced.

LucidlyJackie Not exactly sure why you're just repeating the last line of my comment, but yes, you're right :P

+Joshua Walker haha i'm sorry you think so. Everyone should be this happy. The world wouldn't have wars

+Joshua Walker awwwe a trolly troll. I won't be reading your replies at this point. You aren't worth anyone's time. I do hope you find happiness one day.

It's a good idea to not get married at aalllll. You can live with the person though but you're better off not marrying them. Why? Child support. My friend got married and got divorced and well. He was about to commit suicide. Seriously though I mean if you're getting married for sex then what's the point in getting married??? When you could just hook up and have sex while also being single. If you're going to say I'm a troll I'm not a troll. Yes I know that you're comment is a year old but meh. I felt like I had to respond.

yeah and a community that do this will get 25% of his kids in a single parent household like america you ideat

Please come say exactly what you just said to my girlfriend's mother!

X902 HD with pleasure !

True, but people believe in a change of mind set when they think about marriage as opposed to being in a "relationship" with no marriage. People wanna play the whole love and hearts and watever but honestly if kids are going to come in the future then might as well choose a wife for your kids, cause really u live for ur kids later on.

Well critiqued SuperNguyen, you've managed to look past the weasel words and framing effects.

you dont get it because you dont live in a country where if you living together ( as couple) without "marriage" title, people will drag you from your house, report you as sinners or worse, they will throw your house with stone, or even burn it. if you dont believe me, visit my country :D

why? also why would previous sex partners even MATTER if you're married? o.O (no I'm not gullible and believing everyone who get married are faithful but still) just trying to understand where you're coming from. ^-^

LitcheTheArsm I think they're implying that people who abstain from sex before marriage have a higher rate of staying together. My psychology textbook also has a section on this. Most studies find this to be true even the recent ones. But there is a catch: of course people who practice abstinence have a higher rate of staying together, if you're that old fashion it's very unlikely divorce is an option for you( I mean mentally not legally). If you wind up unhappy with your marriage you'll stay together no matter what, thats just your values.

SourBitters(Honestly I just wanted that person to stand up for the statement he/she made.) Nice perspective! I totally see were you're coming from. No divorce doesn't mean happy marriage. To fully understand the whole living v.s. not living together before marriage, there is a need to also measure the happiness within the marriage, not just the divorce rates. Which is hard to do, because even if you are unhappy you probably won't tell anyone if you've decided to stay with that person no matter what.

LitcheTheArsm Everything I've read on the topic implies that two things influence divorce rates strongly (85% of divorces are initiated by the wife, mind you): Age of first sexual activity, and number of sex partners prior to marriage. Particularly in women. (Because there's no data on men yet, not because men are immune to whatever might be behind these correlations.) The longer a girl waits to have sex the less likely she is to get divorced. The fewer people she's slept with prior to marriage, the less likely she is to get divorced. One breakdown was: Pre-marital partners not their spouse: 50% divorce rate. No pre-marital partner but the spouse they later marry: 25% divorce rate. No pre-marital sex: 15% divorce rate. But this was, if I recall correctly, from the Heritage Foundation, which can be biased. But it's not like DNews cares about bias unless it supports their position. They declared proudly in this video that decades of research had been _debunked_ by just one study. Whether that's true or not remains to be seen, and if they were being honest they should've couched their language in less strong terms. "These new results seem to imply etc etc etc." And this is unpopular because, of course, we live in a hedonistic hookup culture where marriage rates are dropping and divorce rates were climbing until marriages slowed down too much to allow them to keep climbing. It's unpopular to tell all these privileged middle class children that they're actively hurting society by engaging in frivolous sex and producing legions of single mothers because children from single parent households objectively do worse in literally every single possible metric! You will *never* see DNews do a video on how girls from single mother homes are *ten times* more likely to have a teen pregnancy than girls raised with fathers! Or how a majority of rapists and violent criminals are raised by single mothers as well as a majority of high school dropouts. Because, again, it casts "free love" and modern myopic hedonism in a poor light. *A disclaimer:* I do fully support personal autonomy and agency. People should be free to conduct their personal affairs, sex lives, and marriages however they see fit. I will fight for anyone's right to engage in consensual sex on their own terms without interference. But you can't argue with the numbers and the only possible harm of bringing these statistics to light is that it might make a group of people *fixated* on making themselves feel good feel slightly bad for a short while.

Faux Mustache I think the reason to the high divorce rate among people who have had sex before marriage is because of the things +SourBitters wrote. I really can't agree with your reasoning. " Because, again, it casts "free love" and modern myopic hedonism in a poor light." I suppose you're trying to say people nowadays are never pleased with what they have because they constantly feel like they can have something better? "the grass is always greener on the other side"?

If you live with them, then they expect you to be having sex because you are not being watched by that see-it-all eye of your parents. So, not living in the same place=not having sex.

SecretFiri that makes no sense. im sure 99% of people fuck before they move in with each other.

you sir, were lucky enough not to be forced to go to a catholic school

The couples I know that cohabitate did so out of necessity, i.e. they weren't in a situation in which both of them were living alone. I don't know anyone who's decided to move in with someone just for the sake of living together.

Marriage is nothing but a divorce consent agreement. You can live with a person and have children without getting married, but you can not get dragged through divorce court unless you are dumb enough to sign that marriage contract / divorce consent agreement beforehand. Just watch out for common law marriage states.

Sooo...what about couples that are childfree and/or infertile? Are their marriages invalid? Marriage is NOT strictly about having kids, at least not for everyone. It's a legally-binding commitment made by two consenting adults, formalizing a bond that they share. Whether or not they have children is irrelevant.

didn´t even notice. Had to rewatch and check. Thanks !

I think some marries for the benefits you get from the government. Like, visiting in the hospital and.. uh.. not sure what else. Also religious reasons, maybe a child outside of wedlock is FORBIDDEN and they want that, then they'd get married. I totally see where you're coming from. Whenever I hear about young people getting married I think "if you're sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, why hurry?"

Exactly!

The idea is that it's much easier to make the decision to move in together than it is to get married, but once you've moved in together, and you're financially dependent and share all sorts of responsibilities it's easier to slide into getting married, when you might not have gotten that far without it. It all depends on how people see the moving in process. It's either a test for your relationship or a step towards marriage. Typically men hold the former idea, and women hold the latter, this difference also puts strain on the relationship.

svenypoodles which is why I think this should definitely go both ways. If you don't see a future with someone don't move in with them. If you do see a future with them move in with them to see if you can deal with their quirks 24/7 before you make it legal

Your actions affects society in a way. If majority says it is acceptable to live with someone and do all those intimate things, then it will indirectly allow women to be used over and over again. I can just break up with HUNDREDS of women for free and risk HIVs but since everyone says it is okay, no one can stop me. But deep down we know that shouldnt be the case.

And two, if we go by the "I need to live with that person in order to be able to decide whether I can marry them or not" mentality then it would be the same with a job. "If I don't like my colleague, I'll quit." or a school, "I don' like my classmate so I'll drop out and change school." But deep down, that's not a good mentality.

I agree with a lot of what you said. If you don't want to get married, don't. My wife and I didn't want to get married because our friends around us divorced left and right. I lived with my wife 3 years before even thinking about marriage. She never pressured me and I never rushed it. We made a deal that when it felt right, we will do it. I am now going on 3 years married and things are great. She understands me, and I understand her. If you don't want to get married, don't. We did cause we felt right about it, it's not for everyone. Be yourself, people try to live other people's lives and that's what causes problems.

I agree with everything you said except for "having to babysit our children". They're your children. You had unprotected sex, you had a kid. It's raising, NOT babysitting!

***** Thanks for the advice.

Say that to the people pressuring you next time

grimmitachi Well, you do make a point. But I'm sure some people spend their best years to bring you up.Europe is struggling with immigration because a huge amount of their citizens did'nt have kids. Who is going to fill those jobs that need manual labor? All said and done, it's your life. But if most people start thinking like this, I wonder where we'll end up.

christ? get a life man, seriously why crucify yourself for a guy who didn't play fair? he dies and goes to hell, comes back in three days. you die and go to hell, you're there forever. doesn't sound like he made much of a sacrifice.

@@tubedude9311 Don't criticize someone for believing in God. If you don't share that belief than stay quiet and keep it moving.

i feel the same.. girls who cares ... i mean i have the feeling.... but not up to that stage ,,, of love or moving into

me too! the latter part that is

Oh I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who has a hard time finding the line between being too needy or not needy enough!

I would like to see those studies, too.

Well, Katie, here's the reasoning and you can judge for yourself if it is good or bad. Scientifically what we call "true love" lasts around 3 years. So if you just move in with your lover and spend those 3 years, eventually you will grow complacent and the "flame" will fizzle out. Fights will start and you will eventually end up not talking to each other more and more...and eventually separated. This is because today's society taught you all that "negotiating" and "giving up on some issues" is a sign of weakness and you should only expect to RECEIVE benefits from a relationships not give anything back. And yes i am reffering mostly to women here and their inflated sense of entitlement. Now you can call me sexist at will - because that's probably the reaction you will have. Blind to the reality and unable to accept the truth.

***** I disagree big time. I am currently more than five years into a relationship and we have lived together right from the start. We are not married and are just about to get engaged actually. And I don't plan on actually having the wedding for maybe two or three more years. My love, lust, etc has not depleted at all. It has changed, from a new, exciting, unstable love to a solid, deep, pure and understanding love. We still have excitement and lust for each other and a fun, stimulating physical relationship. It's more like if you were to have the exciting, pleasurable part of the relationship with someone you trust completely ... A best friend. So I know first hand that what you're saying is inaccurate. We've had ups and downs sure but the love has never faded. I believe we must love and appreciate ourselves first without being with anyone else and be able to put another's needs on par with our own in order to have a relationship continue to grow and improve instead of fizzle out. At least, that seems to be what has happened to me. But right from the start I had no interest in rushing into marriage, kids, etc because I seemed extremely aware of how easy it is to think someone and something is right when you're in your early 20s but only find out that it wasn't something that could have been permanent. I've wondered about getting married at all. We're happy and in love and what's marriage going to do if we already have those things? I think you might be bitter about a past relationship (or a few) to say something like that. But just so you know, it's possible to find. But it's important to think about what YOU need to do for yourself to find it. Not what you need THEM to do or be like.

So you two could have rushed into marriage. Rethink the ceremony, think about your mothers joy when she can see her girl get married. Feasts with food, dances under starry skies with everyone you love. Infinite peace.

Jahu Hawk You're right about that ... But I feel really great knowing that I can make the decision now with certainty. Now I KNOW it wouldn't have been a mistake and I feel like it's not just possible but probably that it's possible for us to be happy *long-term*. I can't even really describe how great and safe it feels knowing that we are capable of growing together if we want to. Instead of just hoping. My mom's passed so I won't get to see her reaction on that day but my beliefs are that she will be there. I do look forward to it now! Like we are moving forward, although it may not be a HUGE surprise since we decided together that now was probably a good time and it's kinda hard to hide a purchase that big from someone you share everything with, including bills, lol. So I already know there's a ring but I haven't seen it and don't know when I'll get to wear it exactly ... But it's kinda funny how unappealing marriage and weddings and everything along those lines used to be and how suddenly they're starting to feel really exciting and magical.

I was a little afraid you'd say that about your mother. I respect your path.