Queer Hollywood Arranged Marriages! // Queer History 101 [CC]
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@frenchfriar 3 жыл бұрын
I wanted to point out that lavender marriages need not be loveless marriages. Many couples who married for safety from homophobia married and then had children with their "best friend" of the opposite gender, and raising children together creates strong bonds. Sexual compatibility alone does not a marriage make, though lack of it might a marriage break. The two year length of marriages is in order to fulfill contractual duties, I believe, and many of those marriages were show marriages, and not necessarily between friends, or even couples that knew each other. Please continue these gay history classes! Our history is so fragile and transient, and difficult to pass on. You rock, girl.
@jensencaldwell5101 3 жыл бұрын
exactly! i have a pair of friends who have that kind of marriage. they attended the same church, have been best friends since infancy, and their parents joked abt them getting married... so they did, because why not avoid conflict and have a reason to live with your bff forever? now her gf lives with them as a "roommate" and godmother to their baby, and they're pretty happy with that, as far as i know. of course their families still make homophobic remarks around them, but not directed _at_ them, and they still have the financial support. it's not ideal of course (ideally, it wouldn't be necessary at all). but it's also not a terribly tragic thing
@divergentdreamer 3 жыл бұрын
@Thora Friganza Have you heard of asexuality?
@HeraldHealer 3 жыл бұрын
@Thora Friganza You might be on the Asexual spectrum. It might be helpful to do a bit of pokeing around on the Asexual Visability and Education Network. www.asexuality.org/ Poking around there help work out that I was a Demi, not defective.
@TheBc99 3 жыл бұрын
My great-grandfather had that kind of marriage. He came out at the age of 100, many years after his wife's death, but apparently she had known all along. While I'm sure the marriage was a happy one, I hope he'd be proud that his descendant is openly gay and won't have to marry a woman.
@1MikuFan Жыл бұрын
Maybe some of these folks were also hetero or bi romantic homosexuals? Sexuality can just encompass sexual attraction, while romantic attraction can be separate. Of course, labels used by every person is subjective, and some people may not use such additional categorizations.
@CjRazJez 3 жыл бұрын
“No one wants to be the only gay in the village” hits different.
@mellwie 3 жыл бұрын
Don't worry, according to lgbtq+ movies, a foreigner will soon arrive that also happens to be gay.
@Alina_Schmidt 3 жыл бұрын
According to statistics it's highly unlikely that there isn't anyone else there already (who's just closeted)
@CjRazJez 3 жыл бұрын
I grew up in a really small town. 50-80people max. Statistics may say that but my little gay heart felt like it was all alone because “no one else was like me” until I left that town. Your right Mellwie maybe I didn’t wait long enough for my foreigner :) hehe.
@thebigvee137 3 жыл бұрын
@@mellwie hey just wanted to point out I'm pretty sure you accidentally hit the wrong button. As your comment says hbtq+ Institute of lgbtq +
@danielled8665 3 жыл бұрын
@@thebigvee137 haven’t you heard? We consider Hispanic a sexual orientation now. Lesbians are so 1950s
@jessyg17 3 жыл бұрын
Because too many people prefer a forced, loveless, sham-marriage as long as it's straight, to a caring and loving marriage if it be LGBTQ+. Which is the real insult to the sanctity of marriage here?
@pheonixrises11 3 жыл бұрын
OHHHHHHH SNAP
@dollfacedotcult 3 жыл бұрын
jessy popped off here
@magicmagalie9667 3 жыл бұрын
Too true!!!
@andrearamirez9924 3 жыл бұрын
WHERE'S THE LIE DOE? 👀
@kamishy_Art 3 жыл бұрын
🔥🔥🔥🔥
@look_its_jess 3 жыл бұрын
I has a class in college called "not so straight history" taught by a gay professor. It was one of my favorite classes I've ever taken!
@qwirky1709 3 жыл бұрын
Damn, wish my college had that
@pando166 3 жыл бұрын
Wow, that sounds amazing!
@yuuri9064 3 жыл бұрын
That sounds so great!
@sophiegrace9523 3 жыл бұрын
I want to take that now
@uuh.okayiguess 3 жыл бұрын
That's awesome XD
@rosannatsang7808 3 жыл бұрын
“Because bisexuals exists, people” Thanks mom I feel so seen
@eevaaasa8897 3 жыл бұрын
Yaay! Some other recognition besides "so, you do lesbian things with women? Awesome!"
@katherinedevonshire3676 3 жыл бұрын
Saaame!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️
@alildaisy2180 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah thanks mom ☺️
@lindseystein9676 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, the bi erasure is real. Especially being a bi woman and I’m married to a man. I’ve gotten the “oh so it was a phase/experimentation then?” before.
@alildaisy2180 3 жыл бұрын
@@lindseystein9676 ughhhhhhh I’m so sorry.
@3Oh3metrostation 3 жыл бұрын
"the gays really aren't all that scary. if we were, then the halloween aisles would be a lot more fabulous" - JKF
@marnirobertson 3 жыл бұрын
OH NO I READ THAT AS JFK AHSKSKAGAKKA
@kemitstoes5764 3 жыл бұрын
@@marnirobertson same lmao
@sunsuna972 2 жыл бұрын
@@marnirobertson same here damn lol
@amethyst1226 3 жыл бұрын
One thing I think Jessica missed is that “straight” marriages afforded the legal benefits of marriage that gay people didn’t have access to.
@terezaskrdlantova9925 3 жыл бұрын
@Jhalmuriম্যাটার I don't know how it is in other countries but in mine there is legal difference between straight marriage and gueer one when same-sex couples can't both legally be parents of children they raise together. Also they can't inherit after their partners death and so on. So I as lesbian can be married here but I'm not legally allowed to have a child. At least not with my wife. Take it just as example.
@SebastianSeanCrow 3 жыл бұрын
@Jhalmuriম্যাটার it depends on the country. in the US save for biological children, it's pretty much the same. THe issues come in if one spouse has a biological child via surrogation/insemination and the other spouse doesn't/can't adopt the child. If the bio parent dies, theres the risk of the child being put into foster care. And not every country has legalized gay marriage.
@mskjaer496 3 жыл бұрын
I'm happy to see that in my country since 2009 the marriage laws are the same to all. There was previous a "partner" law with the same benefits as a marriage. And lesbian spouses can recive ivf or other treatment with the same costs as hetero couples, and all married couples can adopt. (I dont know why you need to be married though... As if that is an stamp of approval 🙄)
@terezaskrdlantova9925 3 жыл бұрын
@@mskjaer496 Personally I want to have children one day (I'm in my 30's so preferably one day soon) and since there's no legal option for me to adopt or to go for assisted reproduction by myself (and I don't even want it, I want to raise children as a couple in every way) I hope one day there will be at least option to go for such solution as a same-sex married couple. Also it is still not usual to be treated the same way in case of medical or legal emergency if the partners aren't married (at least in my country), and no "official partnership" the only option I have here doesn't really solve that. And of course marriage doesn't have to have the some value for everybody but if people want it it should be possible for them to do it.
@MiljaHahto 3 жыл бұрын
There may have been even differences in taxation between single and married people. After the war getting married and having children was indeed encouraged.
@Thegiddyowl 3 жыл бұрын
I can’t get over how cute Carey Grant and Randall Scott are together and would like to hear more!
@momcat2223 3 жыл бұрын
(psst - it’s Cary and Randolph, actually) Google for more really, um, chummy photos.
@SquiddyHiggenbottom 3 жыл бұрын
Cary Grant + Randolph Scott: *take loads of cutesy photos together, often gazing wistfully into each other's sparkling eyes* The media: "Oh my god, they were roomates."
@yuuri9064 3 жыл бұрын
Same! So cute
@DINOLOVER6717 3 жыл бұрын
@@SquiddyHiggenbottom 🤣🤣
@hollyg5924 3 жыл бұрын
Riiight omg
@madisonm.4535 3 жыл бұрын
Actually having LGBTQ+ acceptance in the 20s actually makes sense to me now I think about it. I have a great interest in historical clothing and from the view of historical clothing I can almost see the acceptance. The clothing in the 20s emphasized androgyny so that actually makes sense.
@NowTheDreamsWontDo 3 жыл бұрын
The world changes when the men decide to rage a war while the women stay at home to do /all/ of the jobs. It opened a world to them that wasn't previously available. Plus it wiped out a significant portion of the male population so it wasn't even like going back to how things worked before the was was truly an option. I mean it was but that's how the 50s happened. Ew.
@pattheplanter 3 жыл бұрын
A quote from a BBC story yesterday on a group of gay MPs who sided with Churchill to oppose appeasement of Hitler in the 1930s: He also hopes it will remind people that "progress isn't permanent". "I often worry a younger generation of gay men and women think we will never go back to the era of repression. "But I just say Berlin was the most liberal place in the world in 1930 - yet by 1934 gays were being arrested." www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-54478753
@hopegold883 3 жыл бұрын
Jessica’s comment section is as top notch as her videos.
@aksez2u 3 жыл бұрын
@@pattheplanter I think this is brought to the stage in the musical "Cabaret", is it not?
@pattheplanter 3 жыл бұрын
@@aksez2u That era, certainly. Sadly, I don't recall a song about a group of "confirmed batchelors" who were regulars at Berlin nightclubs opposing Neville Chamberlain's appeasement policies in the British Parliament. They deserve to be remembered in song.
@themedia1271 3 жыл бұрын
I've heard that Judy Garlands love for gay men stemmed from her love for her father who was rumored to be gay or bisexual. Judy was incredibly close with her father due to the fact that her mother was so abusive towards her.
@alinktoana 3 жыл бұрын
*now* i finally understand "Friend of Dorothy" lol
@patmullarkey7659 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, her dad was gay. They were run out of town because of it.
@politecat4236 3 жыл бұрын
@@patmullarkey7659 her father had sexual relations with teenage high school boys that's why he was run out of town
@skylahblouin7595 Ай бұрын
Yes, this is true! Judy’s father was bi/gay, and bcs of her close relationship with him and losing him early in her life, she was drawn to men that reminded her of him. This resulted in her marrying a few gay men, though she never knew her father was gay, so it wasn’t intentional.
@isaBeast143 3 жыл бұрын
I didn't even think of the fact that the generations don't pass down in the lgbt+ community like most other communities. I assumed that the history was covered by chosen family but that often can leave out decades of learning in a young gay's life
@hopegold883 3 жыл бұрын
So grateful for all the time and effort Jessica puts into these. All the well-researched data, combined with her own insightful/witty Commentary, combined with lots of period photos/illustrations combine to make her coverage unique and so precious amongst KZfaq.
@connor863 3 жыл бұрын
That's true.^ I'd also like to point out however that non-heterosexuality (LGBT+) is indirectly passed down through generations. Although people who are not heterosexual in general don't reproduce as heterosexuals do (for obvious reasons) they do contribute significantly to the group fitness of their community. Evolutionary, LBGT+ individuals help prevent their friends and family members from being killed which outweighs the decrease in LGBT+ people reproducing. There are many genes that influence genetic orientation and many heterosexuals carry "gay genes" because the phenotypic representations of those genes sometimes contribute greatly to the group's fitness as a whole. Evolutionarily, if a group can't keep itself alive, it doesn't matter how good at producing the next generation they are because they'll go extinct anyway.
@Co-iu6nq 3 жыл бұрын
Yes i didn’t think of this at all either. And I’m very interested in cultures - and I love how she used that as reference. Most cultures are passed down generationally but being lgbtq+ isn’t hereditary so how could that be the case for our culture.
@robertjackson3552 3 жыл бұрын
this is why the family's and community we form our selves can be important
@Kaalokalawaia 3 жыл бұрын
So I'm a US Army Veteran and I never heard the term "lavender marriage" before. But wow were there SO many lavender marriages in the Army before DADT (Don't ask don't tell) was repealed.
@LoriBrooke1 3 жыл бұрын
Navy veteran here! Came to say this as well. Never knew the term but knew that this existed, even in today’s military. That’s mostly because of homophobia and the backlash that lgbt+ military members face when out. I had a GM1 who was adamant that gay parents produce screwed up kids. Meanwhile my mother in law is bisexual and was in an over decade long relationship with a woman at the time. And he had no issue being vocal about his feelings, even going as far to put a printed out pamphlet on my desk “backing up” his claims with opinion pieces as sources. I raged that day and got a verbal counseling by my senior chief for it.
@joeyknight8272 3 жыл бұрын
@@LoriBrooke1 f that gm1
@yuuri9064 3 жыл бұрын
Could you explain a bit about this? What's DADT?
@thebookwyrmslair6757 3 жыл бұрын
AF Reserve vet here. Yup. DADT = Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which was the compromise thought up by the Clinton era Department of Defense to allow gay people to serve in the military, but be punished if they got caught in an openly gay relationship. The lavender marriage was actually encouraged among officers because of the old idea that officers need to be married in order to achieve high rank. 🙄
@yuuri9064 3 жыл бұрын
@@thebookwyrmslair6757 Thank you for this explanation! I thought that women were generally excluded from the army until fairly recently (I know nothing about this, sorry), so I wonder where they would have found spouses. Do you know whether this was (is...?) something that was more organized by the individuals or by the army?
@bartho5212 3 жыл бұрын
Jessica: He was known as “The Pink Powderpuff”. Me: lucky bastard!
@Sojichan 3 жыл бұрын
Except he was so angry at the journalist who associated said thing with him that he asked for a duel against him :/
@ayellowpapercrown6750 3 жыл бұрын
"No one wants to be the only gay in the village" really got me. I was the only gay in the village but I just moved to London because I eventually got sick of it haha.
@ayellowpapercrown6750 3 жыл бұрын
@Jhalmuriম্যাটার never came out, literally just went to another country to do the gay away from everyone else. I’m still getting asked about when I’ll bring a boyfriend home when I go back home for holidays or when I call. I did wait to be financially independent and to have a job and education lined up in London though!
@conormulligan7966 3 жыл бұрын
@@ayellowpapercrown6750 i fucking love the fact you said "to do the gay" and im going to use that in conversation as often as possible
@escottish140 3 жыл бұрын
Accordingly, Charles Laughton and Elsa Lanchester was a lavender marriage as well, which lasted until his death, and they were extremely fond of each other (platonically); they were "besties."
@frauholle1334 3 жыл бұрын
That quick recognition of bisexual people actual existing is quite nice, thanks Jessica 💐
@HattiesVlogs 3 жыл бұрын
I studied lavender marriages for an aspect of my dissertation. I came across the life of William Haines that way and think its superb that he chose his partner over his career. I'm surprised that nobody has adapted a film about his life, given how LGBTQIA+ positive audiences are these days.
@alisonbarker3862 3 жыл бұрын
That is a great idea for a film!
@elenapopovic2527 3 жыл бұрын
Omg the set design would HAVE to be stellar
@bw7601 3 жыл бұрын
Another important thing to talk about in regard to lgbt+ acceptance in the 20s is that Weimar Germany was a world leader, with groundbreaking research into gender etc. But the nazis shut it all down and burned the archives I would recommend everyone take a look at the institute of sex research, who pioneered in offering some of the first gender confirmation surgeries. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_für_Sexualwissenschaft
@alexandreboth1001 3 жыл бұрын
Oh, german book-burning, I can't think about it without remembering fahrenheit 341 and 1984. Where would we be if they didn't...
@DieAlteistwiederda 3 жыл бұрын
@@alexandreboth1001 you imagine book burning a bit wrong it seems. For a lot of books they did burn they didn't or couldn't burn all copies of the book so definitely not everything was burned or lost.
@NowTheDreamsWontDo 3 жыл бұрын
@@DieAlteistwiederda This research was truly lost tho. And that really did set us back decades.
@lilyavabrooks 3 жыл бұрын
@@rosiebellamy3018 did you learn generally about Weimar Germany or also about their gender and sexuality research?
@annaswanson5903 3 жыл бұрын
interesting
@LokiStarOmen 3 жыл бұрын
I got screamed at for bringing up LGBT facts in my history class by my teachers growing up, but then again I grew up with a very open minded family and 4 year old me didn't miss the fact one of my grandparents good friends was in a gay relationship and my schools were VERY Christian
@SessaV 3 жыл бұрын
My dad was a Detroit police officer and ones of his married couple friends were a gay man and lesbian woman. They were both officers like my dad, and married because the department of course was pretty concervative. They thought it was hilarious because other officer's who didn't know they were both gay thought they had a perfect marriage and we're jealous. *Please excuse my grammer. I had covid and words don't translate from my brain to text as well anymore
@halloweenallyearround4889 3 жыл бұрын
I hope you have a steady recovery. Don't worry about your grammar. Thank you for sharing.
@SessaV 3 жыл бұрын
@@halloweenallyearround4889 thank you! And thank you for excusing my horrible grammar. It probably doesn't bother other people as bad as it does me lol. It's frustrating to know what you want to say, but not being able to convey it the way you want. It's like written or even spoken words are suddenly a foreign language, one you know, but sometimes you're better at it then others. Hopefully my brain corrects itself eventually
@MiljaHahto 3 жыл бұрын
@@SessaV hey, the internet has seen much, much worse grammar these days. Yours is ok.
@no-so3rd 3 жыл бұрын
Totally relate to covid messing up communication
@SessaV 3 жыл бұрын
@@no-so3rd glad it's not just my family members, but also sad that others have to deal with this too.
@StephanieRamones 3 жыл бұрын
I was today years old when I learned Liza Minelli was judy garlands daughter.
@franksonatra 3 жыл бұрын
WHAT me too
@loganmacgyver2625 3 жыл бұрын
Ahh, so thats the term for the "alibi S/O" (an alibi S/O is like when i helped a closeted lesbian as a closeted gay boy to make her mother leave her alone about her love life, and she pretended to be my girlfriend to make my dad shut up about what he has no business in and to stop his suspicion about my preferences)
@EliannaEldari24 3 жыл бұрын
the word is beard
@eee333DDD 3 жыл бұрын
Oh, to be an actress in the 1930s with my husband on our way to see our newly married “best friends”
@mewRasuberii 3 жыл бұрын
I would love more like this!! I think my grandmother's wife may have had one of these lavender marriages for similar reasons- when she ended her public career, she divorced her husband, and moved in with my grandmother and had a marriage ceremony with her later on, in the 50's-60's I think What's funny/frustrating is that my granny's wife has a wikipedia article that was written by her family's side, who describes them as "lifelong friends". Yes, just gal pal things: getting married together
@greatauntlizbethg9137 3 жыл бұрын
Maybe u could edit?
@conormulligan7966 3 жыл бұрын
To edit the article you could attempt to get in contact with a wiki moderator and show them some form of proof that your grandmother was in a relationship with this woman, not sure how you could get in contact with one but im sure there is a wiki article about it
@LadyNikitaShark 3 жыл бұрын
"the only gay in the village" that made me laugh. I'm from a village that for some weird reason most babies born are male, only one or two girls a year and we have about 10 adult gay males that were openly gay since childhood. And comparing to other small villages we don't really have honophobes. Actually, if someone says something offensive to one of the gay guys, everyone around will defende them. Small villages can be very closed minded but we are also very protective of our own. Also, one of the gay guys it's actually a drag queen and it's our village seamstress that makes his costumes 😊
@halloweenallyearround4889 3 жыл бұрын
Brilliant, I hope we can get everywhere to be anti-homophobe, transfeminist, anti-transphobe, anti-racist and anti-ableist.
@mangmangmangobri 3 жыл бұрын
Splendid, I love it
@laurenc5306 3 жыл бұрын
That's very cute!
@massiahgrom 6 ай бұрын
Cool village 😎
@lightning4bug2tits08 7 ай бұрын
It’s uncanny and amazing that Jessica is deaf AND speaks with more eloquence, prose and vivaciousness than most people with perfect hearing/speech.
@amazon4662 3 жыл бұрын
I would love to see a history of asexuality (although I recognise that this may be a challenge as it is not necessarily as public as other identities).
@puddytat9752 3 жыл бұрын
I second this
@GrayeIra 3 жыл бұрын
I third this
@shinekitten7669 3 жыл бұрын
I would also love to see this!
@halliehurst4847 3 жыл бұрын
There’s still lots about it though! Although I feel like it would be a lot less ‘shotgun Hollywood marriages’ and a bit more ‘Well this scientific report from on sexuality 1920 Germany before the Nazi’s burned the research was baffled by them’.
@iisazelx9340 3 жыл бұрын
Not so much a history, but I’d recommend reading ACE: WHAT ASEXUALITY REVEALS ABOUT SOCIETY, DESIRE, AND THE MEANING OF SEX by Angela Chen
@Piti_Pingu 3 жыл бұрын
Luckily I'm not the only LGBTQ+ person in my village. We have a lesbian couple (they are in their 40's and adorable) we had a gay mayor (he isn't mayor anymore but still lives here with his partner and his dogs that are all named after french historic figures (he used to be a history teacher until it was forbidden for him because he was gay and thought he might "infect" the kids). A lovely lesbian who was my classmate for 12 years and me a proud pan sexual even though enveryone thinks it was just a phase because I'm with a man now... sorry neighbors I'm still pan even if you don't think so XD I was even told I was the most scandalous lesbian ever as a teenager because everytime I brought a girl home it was a diffrent one... they were litterally just all my friends 🤣
@jennymunday7913 3 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend is pan and you have no idea how relieved his neighbors looked when he showed up with a woman. XD I'm like.... he's still pan and you aren't that safe cause I'm bi. :) Neighbors worry about the silliest things! Keep hanging in there, hopefully the world realizes once again that sexuality is nothing to be worried or scared by.
@erictaylor5462 3 жыл бұрын
I clearly remember the media reports of Rock Hudson's sexuality when he came out and passed away. It was one of the first big Hollywood AIDES casualties. There was so much shock and anger. It was really quite disgusting, even to me at 15.
@madisonm.4535 3 жыл бұрын
I didn't know that this existed. I just wasn't aware of it. This is really interesting!
@vreaum 3 жыл бұрын
me too!!
@KarlAndArma4ever 3 жыл бұрын
While I wasn't aware of celebrities being coerced into straight marriages by their upper management, I was aware of GRSM/LGBTQIA+ folks going into straight marriages to hide. Used to know an elderly lesbian who "hid" in a straight marriage to avoid persecution from the local townsfolk.
@madisonm.4535 3 жыл бұрын
@@KarlAndArma4ever Me too. I'd heard of that and I'd definitely heard of a gay man and a lesbian woman being in a relationship to hide but lavender marriages was a knew concept.
@sammichbread 3 жыл бұрын
"Gays really aren't scary! If we were, the Halloween aisle would be a lot more fabulous." JESSICA IS SUCH AN ICON THIS VIDEO IS SO GOOD
@PhoebeFayRuthLouise 3 жыл бұрын
“‘Understandable,’ she says in lesbian.” I love the way you give so many funny comments to the second camera, Jessica! Thank you for another educational LGBTQ history lesson!
@sonjaimmonen6610 3 жыл бұрын
Yesterday I went to see the movie Tove, that is about the Moomin author Tove Jansson. There were interesting notions about marriage in the film. Tove was an unmarried artist who had relationships with men and women during her life. The discussion about marriage in the film took into account the benefits marriage could bring to her as a struggling artist. Her female lover (who was married) even suggested, that she should get married, because it would bring security and make everything easier for her.
@jenneli314 3 жыл бұрын
11:40 one could guess that "two years" was a contractual thing from the studio, don't you think?
@greatauntlizbethg9137 3 жыл бұрын
Some else inthe comments said that it was
@c.j.cranford269 3 жыл бұрын
I'd never heard of lavender marriages, though they were encouraged in the religion I grew up in :/ Happy to be out (of the closet) and out (of that church!), and I'd love more of these videos!
@missAyla39 3 жыл бұрын
On the "which letter to talk about from the LGBTQ+" I think talking about asexuals and aromantics could be interesting. I know it can sometimes be hard to have sources but I think it would be good. On another note, I would love to hear about other cultures view of queerness and sexual orientations. We speak a lot about how europeans and north americans influenced the society of this but from bits I gather, it wasn't as definite in other cultures around the world.
@dollfacedotcult 3 жыл бұрын
not lgbt+ but still valid and a very interesting topic! would love to hear about that.
@dollfacedotcult 3 жыл бұрын
especially since some people literally don't care at all and some people get SO mad that you're not boning, as if it's their business in the first place lmfao
@missAyla39 3 жыл бұрын
@@dollfacedotcult It's in the + and in the LGBTQIA+ it's the A
@ladychimere2481 3 жыл бұрын
It makes me sad that every time I see asexuality mentioned in a context like this, I have to prepare for the "not part of the lgbtq+" - comments and on bad days it makes me wanna cry.
@dollfacedotcult 3 жыл бұрын
@@ladychimere2481 well. it's not. but that doesn't make it any less valid!
@guytorie 3 жыл бұрын
8:34 Yay, a bi icon! 9:04 Aw man, a non-iconic bi after all
@wmage619 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you I finally have a term for my great uncles marriage I loved him so much but he was always shunned from the family. I never understood why until I was much older and he had passed away. I asked my great aunt why they never truly got a divorce and he even wrote her out of his will (it was a mess) and she told me to go visit a man by the nickname of Hobson. Needless to say I was welcomed with open arms he was alone in the retirement home he showed me many pictures of their time together. I visited him every weekend until he passed. I know they are together now
@southwest4598 3 жыл бұрын
This is so, so, so lovely. How wonderful that you got another perspective and got to know his beloved, and Hobson had someone to share his final days with.
@mangmangmangobri 3 жыл бұрын
@jennymunday7913 3 жыл бұрын
Omg, that made me tear up a little. How beautiful you had that time with your uncles partner.
@HRMLadyArtemis14 3 жыл бұрын
Honestly, the more I hear about these, the more they remind me of the Dynastic marriages organized between countries to assure allies. I'd love to see more of this content!
@ava_lavender 3 жыл бұрын
I would recommend the book, "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" by Taylor Jenkins Reid, to anyone who enjoyed this video!
@asophcalledskye 3 жыл бұрын
Same! What a great book
@HeyItsAJOmega 3 жыл бұрын
Had a crappy day of depression, just made myself something to eat and sat down and this has popped up in my sub box
@aksez2u 3 жыл бұрын
Hope you have a better day tomorrow!
@butadara 3 жыл бұрын
All the gay history! We as humans have always been gay, and when people still get upset about it, I just don't get it. Oh well, their loss in there unhappy marriages, with no real discussion about sexual health, let alone pleasure. ❤️
@Mira-pm3ni 2 күн бұрын
Do all gay couples end up happily ever after ? They never cheat ?
@Lucy-io7pt 3 жыл бұрын
The term "lavender marriage" sounds so nice. And then you're like eek not so nice not so nice.
@169esmeralda 3 жыл бұрын
I came across the gravesite of Adrian and Janet Gaynor the last time I was at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. They are buried next to each other and have those flat gravestones that are flush with the ground. It made me sad because it is kind of overgrown and forgotten. I felt a very strong desire to tidy it up out of respect. This just reminded me of that. They did have a daughter, so I’m not sure why the gravesite is so grown over.
@seekingeudaimonia6884 3 жыл бұрын
I was today years old when I learned of a, lavender marriage. I guess it’s true to the name, lavender, a soothing marriage, without any worry about sex with the opposite sex or being hit on from the opposite sex.
@Co-iu6nq 3 жыл бұрын
I didn’t know the term or even that it was an “established” thing but when I was young I did think about what I would do if I was born in a different era and how I would survive and I pretty much came up with a Lavender marriage plan situation. This was so nice to learn about and I’m so glad you are teaching us these things. I truly didn’t know a lot of what you taught but most especially when you mentioned “ we tend to think of history as even more homophobic than today” and continued to explain that in the 20s there was actually a lot of acceptance. I had no idea and that was lovely to learn
@kisskiss6866 3 жыл бұрын
"The good, the bad and the fabulous" will be my new motto for sure!! 😅 ❤️
@anymouse8221 3 жыл бұрын
I was familiar with the term "lavender marraige," but I don't know enough hollywood history to be aware of most of these. This was a fun video. Thank you!
@NessawiththeRose 3 жыл бұрын
I went to a conservative christian college in New York City on the lookout for a counterpart gay man to enter one of these marriages with! Thankfully i ended up meeting the lady love of my life after some painful outings. All's well that ends well thank goodness
@bethrohman9612 Жыл бұрын
So...I'm pretty straight 😉 but I LOVE the "queer history" episodes so much! I love everything on your channel but you are an amazing story teller and I have learned so much! Thank you! 🥰😘😘😘
@alexandertimms0.166 3 жыл бұрын
I love learning gay history it's like the school education I never got but always needed
@InThisEssayIWill... 3 жыл бұрын
I had definitely heard the term 'beard' before in this context, but didn't realize that was meant to indicate unawareness. And had not heard 'lavender marriage' before! While I had been peripherally aware that lgbtq+ individuals might occasionally take up a heteronormative relationship for societal reasons I had no idea that it would have been a contractual obligation in the entertainment industry! This is.. awful. I really appreciate your videos and enjoy learning about this sort of 'hidden history', I may not be part of the community but it is still human history and important to understand all facets in order to have the full picture.
@samit2658 3 жыл бұрын
The "beard" wasn't unaware. Lavender Marriage refers/ed to 1 or both members being glabt+ *and both being aware* if there was a cis-allo-het partner they were a "beard"
@007nadineL 3 жыл бұрын
@@samit2658 loads of beards were / are unaware.
@makingmesses6538 3 жыл бұрын
I'm new to the term Lavender Marriage but I had a theater teacher in college who told us about the women he married to keep up the straight appearance and how deeply unhappy it made both of them.
@halliehurst4847 3 жыл бұрын
Is this a good time to recommend The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo to everyone? Best fictionalisation of this period I’ve come across recently. Elusive Golden Age movie star, Evelyn Hugo, gives a rare interview in her later life about her many love affairs...
@brendab3204 3 жыл бұрын
Well my mother who was born in 1928 had talked to me as a child about many of the old movie stars and how they had to hide their gay and lesbian relationships. She was not a Hollywood star herself,by any means but after finding the love of her life, becoming pregnant out of wedlock, being forced to give up that child for adoption by her parents and the young mans wealthy parents. And the two of them told they were never going to be allowed to be together, my mother married her first husband. He was gay, this was back in the late 1940s-early 1950s. I think they were just trying to help each other. But his father expected to continue to hide the fact his son was gay, this by impregnating my mother....😡 Thankfully my mom had grown strong enough by then to say no and ended up divorced. Hopefully the world continues to get better, allow people to love who they love. Why on earth should any of us feel threatened by two people who love each other? 🌈❤️
@Mira-pm3ni 2 күн бұрын
Darling there is nothing wrong in love but the way things have gone out of control in west is not love . It's disgusting .
@michelehenne2477 3 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed this episode. Ratched, the series on Netflix, touches on this. One of the characters is in a lavender marriage. Keep them coming. A full series would be great! 💜💜💜
@RevRun14 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! This is great! It won't be cool to have a video going over the ups and downs of LGBT+ acceptance from antiquity to modern days. It's shocking to see how acceptance/rejection has changed over time and where it started/stopped. About Lavender Marriages, I have heard of them before through not by that term. It's still done today in any field of work that involves going to other countries. As long as there isn't acceptance, Lavender Marriages will be a useful tool to stay safe.
@kill4karma 3 жыл бұрын
I knew that this was a thing™ It makes sense if two people need to stay closeted for their safety but I didn't know the term or that it was so common. And I definitely didn't expect it to often be set up by their agencies
@YallAintRight 3 жыл бұрын
My roommate was in the military before don’t ask don’t tell. She was gay and knew of two people in a lavender marriage (also members of the military). They got paid more and faced less harassment. They lived together in a trailer with bedrooms at each end.
@maddblack6383 3 жыл бұрын
"Nobody wants to be the only gay in the village" Me, the only gay in the village: "Yup"
@jahalr6598 3 жыл бұрын
Its videos like this that makes me so happy that jessica graduated in media studies.
@stoodmuffinpersonal3144 3 жыл бұрын
I knew this happened, and I knew what a Beard was. But I didn't know this term, or why lavender was so associated with us. It's funny cause I grew up liking lavender. Even in the closet
@angelagallant5887 3 жыл бұрын
I remember reading a story that Richard Chamberlain told about a “media” romance he had in the 1970’s. An interviewer had come to his house for an article with him and his “girlfriend” .... their cover was blown when she asked where the bathroom was. 😂
@007nadineL 3 жыл бұрын
Hello Hugh Jackman who married his much older acting teacher
@pyratenemo3617 3 жыл бұрын
This was *fascinating*. I've only ever come across lavender marriages in passing, and though I know logically that of course people marry for safety, I'm also incredibly bi, so I've always read "did you know x was actually gay!?" with caution bc bi erasure is the most incredibly frustrating thing and I avoid participating in it like the plague. It's super interesting to learn about them from someone who has clearly done more than passing research!
@alisonbarker3862 3 жыл бұрын
Interesting points!
@caitis1091 3 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to take this chance to say thank you Jessica xxx. I have epilepsy and was suffering very badly from medication side-effects when I saw your video about ketogenic diet therapy. I hadn't heard of it before then. I immediately brought it up with my neurologist and have been on it since and no longer suffer from debilitating side-effects. Thanks to you my life is now livable xxx
@ludmila_98 3 жыл бұрын
The way you can always make education so much fun and interesting regardless of my brain fog and cognitive difficulties is just the best! Thank you for helping us understand more about ourselves and others! PS I hope you find a new carer and you two get along really well ❤️❤️❤️
@AmyLou733 3 жыл бұрын
I've always presumed that the marriage between Elsa Lanchester and Charles Laughton was of the lavender variety.
@GutterBallEZ 3 жыл бұрын
I love this idea for a series so much. I was raised in a ludicrously conservative small town, and I’m still unlearning the history lies we were told in school.
@samit2658 3 жыл бұрын
I think I'd heard "Lavender Marriage" before. Please Bi/Ace history
@avam1877 3 жыл бұрын
Could you do a video on Alan Turing? He was a gay and disabled man who basically invented the computer. Love the new series btw!
@riyapatel6291 3 жыл бұрын
Hell yes this is a good idea .
@paolazuffinetti 7 ай бұрын
Thank You! You're right: I have come to realize that things that are not taught in schools are the most important for us to know!
@jiawongwrites 3 жыл бұрын
I cant believe I never knew until now that Liza Minelli was Judy Garlands daughter??? Side note though- I find it deeply ironic that LGBT people were pressured/forced into sham marriages for "morality" when a loveless relationship defeats the very purpose of marriage to begin with. but as long as it looks the part, people would choose to look the other way. Wtf!
@laurenc5306 3 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣 but now that you've found out, it makes sense, doesn't it? Liza and Judy are so alike. People who harp on about "the sanctity of marriage" either don't know or don't care that the "sanctity" in marriage was ruined long ago. How many Christians have had affairs? How many atheists have gotten married? How many people were stuck in loveless or abusive marriages but didn't separate because divorce was frowned upon? How many straight people nowadays care if their relationship is pious and ""sinless""? "Sanctity of marriage" means nothing.
@jahalr6598 3 жыл бұрын
As with all communities, celebrating our histories is very important especially so being marginalized communities. Cheers to jessica for introducing me to historical personalities that I can relate to and make me more empowered in my own identity and community.
@jessicahoward9046 3 жыл бұрын
No one Absolutely no one No one on the entire planet *Me giggling to myself watching this video* "If Jessica and Claudia released a line of equestrian clothes they could call it "Because, neigh" I'll see myself out
@catknit7 3 жыл бұрын
If this does become a series, I’d love to see a video on Boston marriages! I’ve been fascinated by them since I first learned about them
@typicallyusual6984 3 жыл бұрын
Judy Garland had an extremely traumatic life, including but not limited to: being called a pig with braids during the filming of The Wizard of Oz, abused by her coworkers during the Wizard of Oz, constantly compared to sex symbols of her time like Elizabeth Taylor and told she was too ugly, being monitored to ensure she was dieting properly, given cigarettes by her mother to stave off her appetite, given stimulants as weight loss pills, then sleeping pills when the stimulants caused her insomnia. She was basically forced into substance abuse and addiction, which heavily impacted her mental health for the rest of her life, which eventually caused her death. It is slightly comforting to know that at least she found some solace in her married life.
@quinn1222 3 жыл бұрын
When youre a closeted celebrity, handling your reputation must be delicate. That would honestly have me seeing red to hide my lover
@IPONJ 3 жыл бұрын
Don't be silly Quinn! There's no such thing as a gay celebrity! o_0 What?... 0_o
@007nadineL 3 жыл бұрын
Dolly parton is a master of that
@pandoravex4791 3 жыл бұрын
I knew a bit of the forced marriages, didn’t know there was a specific term for it. Interesting.
@boredgrass 3 жыл бұрын
I was so distracted by your gorgeous acting I that had to scroll back time and again :-) The project is wonderfull! Especially in the context of the issue of lacking transfer of history through parent children relation! I have never thought of it! Magnificent work!
@LivforWill 3 жыл бұрын
Love this and love the idea of a series! Yes please Jessica. I’d love to hear more about GNC / trans / non-binary history - particularly how it was stamped out by colonialism etc. Thank you for making this content and educating across platforms!! You are great
@evelynkrull5268 3 жыл бұрын
Interesting! I had a no clue about lavender marriages, but my local university's lqbtq+ community has a special ceremony/party called lavendar graduation! It has been voted top lgbtq+University for 8 years running (i dont know if it is a state thing or a national thing, but i feel like it was a national survey that determined it?) We even hold our pride parade in this town not in June, but in October, on the weekend nearest coming out day. That way all our lgbtq+ students can participate when they are in town at school.
@evelynkrull5268 3 жыл бұрын
If anyone is wondering its Southern Oregon University, its part of the WUE program and its big in Education/Teaching, Theatre, and Nursing (in conjunction with the nationally ranked Oregon Health and Sciences University) It also has a decent disability services center and I would say, pretty accessible except it is on a hillside (might be difficult to wheel manually) but building wise has elevators in every building. I didnt finish my degree because my health declined and I had to choose between working (to eat and live and stuff) and education. Nothing they could have done to help with that.
@catalinabarroilhet4058 3 жыл бұрын
This feels like a series perfect for a podcast...
@bookluver627 3 жыл бұрын
Watching this video makes certain events in The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo even more believable.
@alaynab5745 3 жыл бұрын
I love your history videos! I knew about lavender marriages because I'd heard about them in reference to Cole Porter and his wife Linda. Also this ad comes at a great time for me as my credit card was compromised online on Wednesday! Thank you!
@lingeringquestions519 3 жыл бұрын
Your outfit, hair, and overall look makes this so much better. It's like you time-traveled to teach us. I'm straight and cisgender and I feel bad for all the gay,bi,pan, and other people who found and find it hard to bein the marriage they want or if they are married to an opposite-sex/gender person that they love they find it hard to be out.
@tobyameson3159 Жыл бұрын
As a queer person I can't tell you how much it means to me to see gay history. Thanks Jessica!
@magdaherman5033 3 жыл бұрын
I would love to hear more about the lavendel cowboys of San Francisco.
@brittneybrisbin744 3 жыл бұрын
Okay, I just started the video, but I wanna say that I already really love your energy and the sound of your voice! I'm super excited to learn about queer history! Also, I'm glad you mentioned William Haines, because I admire the courage he had and his love for Jimmie so much.
@Jess-vz8bb 3 жыл бұрын
I like that’s it’s lavender... very purple yet associated with queer yet calming and acceptable as holistically healing yet fda not approved... BRAVO
@Mae_______ 3 жыл бұрын
You’re amazing darling 💚 thank you for educating me and everyone else that watched this🙏
@jmcosmos 3 жыл бұрын
The first lavender marriage I was aware of was in 1984, when Austin (TX) city councilman Mark Spaeth married TV and film star Amanda Blake, who was on her financial uppers at the time; Spaeth died of AIDS the following year. Amanda Blake's marital history is suspiciously lavender as well; she married in 1954, divorced in 1956, married again in 1964 and divorced in 1967. Her only marriage that "stuck," so to speak, was her third, to producer Frank Gilbert. They were married from 1967 to 1982, and raised cheetahs on their ranch in Arizona; they sold the cats to various zoos.
@Cyliable 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for another discovery! History is filled with LGBTQI+ people but society made them invisible to the common eyes. I didn't know of the word lavender marriage but I knew it existed somehow. It makes sense when you know LGBTQI+ people have always been there, but most societies didn't accept it or modern ones erased records of acceptance times (pretending it didn't exist is a way of erasing). Oh and thanks again for the bisexual validation! I'm considering buying one of your merch soon it's just so cute 🥰
@BroniaK 3 жыл бұрын
I knew these types of marriages existed but hadn't heard the term. Quite sad that they were/are necessary 😢
@JaceJHubbard 3 жыл бұрын
Wow! This was very informative and lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed every part of this. I also really just enjoy listening to your voice, it’s so soothing and your Quick wit humor is hysterical to listen to.
@Alusnovalotus 3 жыл бұрын
I just discovered you and loved you from the first syllable!!
@evieg222 3 жыл бұрын
wow!! i’m so early!! it’s so crucial to share these important messages!! love your channel so much
@dolgoruky21 3 жыл бұрын
A full series sounds fabulous
@ioanailles7786 3 жыл бұрын
You are coming up with so many subjects that are TOTALLY new for me. I love that, I feel like I'm being educated or like I'm learning cool facts every time I watch your videos. Thank you, Jessica! ♥️ we love your research
@Aurriel 3 жыл бұрын
Just love your attitude so much! The comments to the side camera are killing me!
@YusukeYuichie 3 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for more of these videos!!
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard
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