I remember someone new to the class asking our Karate teacher in challenge, "What would you do if someone with a knife came toward you?" My Karate teacher demonstrated a technique that I would use to this day. The teacher told the student to advance as if he had a knife. When he did, my teacher turned and ran away. Everyone laughed. He came back and said "A knife beats open-hand (the translation for Karate) almost every time. I teach you to defend yourself and keep yourself safe, not to be a superhero. The best way to not get hurt is to not get into a fight in the first place. If you see a knife, your first option is to run. That's what I would do." That's when I knew my teacher was legit.

Joe Rogan better watch out, I watch Dragon Ball Z, I know all the moves.

When I first first started mma I learned karate and my teacher said “it’s illegal for me to fight in the UFC” I stopped my membership a week later and will never regret it, dude was a joke

"One of them pretends to be a Doctor Strange, you grab me, I am gonna send you back to Mordor" lol wut?

Joe “I’ll send you back to Mordor” Rogan

hit me, hit me, hit me YOU CANT reach me with that hand reach me with that hand reach me with that hand YOU CAN NOT

The thought of Dr. Strange sending somebody to mordor kills me 😂

In Queens New York in the 80s and 90s we were all fluent in Gun Fu. Death blows from 5 feet away.

I’m a black belt in...NoCanDo 😂

Doctor Strange was such a pivotal character in the fellowship. A great aid in the defeat of Sauron. Edit: Thanks for all the likes! Most I’ve ever gotten :,)

Xu Xiaodong was never even a pro MMA fighter, he's been mainly a radio host. He's been continuing to fight these fights against "traditional masters". The smear campaign against him has cost him his job, his gym, his relationships, he's been fined, marked as a "political dissident" and his social credit score is so low he has to travel by the cheapest slowest transport to get to his fights, but he's still fighting. He was forced to wear what is essentially clown makeup, but he owns it, and still fights. Dude is a hero.

Please find a way to have Xu Xiaodong on the show.

you almost need a stolen valor law but for martial arts teachers...

Thanks to Steven "I shat myself" Seagal, Aikido studios were everywhere in the 90s. I have not seen one around in the last 10 years. Glad to see some of the cults are gone too.

My instructor taught me a defensive move to block the eye gouge. Straighten your right hand and raise it up, fingertips pointed upward and place the side of your thumb up against the bridge of your nose. My instructor’s name was Master Curly.

I took MMA in highschool for 2 years, my teacher was great. Right off the bat he said “Hey,man we’re glad to have you, I’m Dave. Just call me Dave I don’t want to be called master or sensay” and laughed Was so chill and absolutely not cult like. Joe just made me realize how cult like a lot of martial arts can be! 🔥

The only martial arts sensei i trust is master ken

"They might as well be 5" i fuckin lost my shit at that one.

I did study in a Kung Fu school but I was lucky that my teacher didn’t had that cult, mystical attitude. Although he was Chinese he did called out all the phony Kung Fu BS

No one laughs at joe Rogan jokes more than joe rogan ..

Joe “Doctor Strange: If you touch me I’m going to send you back to Mordor!” Rogan.

"One of them pretends to be a Doctor Strange, you grab me, I am gonna send you back to Mordor" HAHA cracked me up.

Joe was on absolute fire here. One of his best sound-offs.

When I used to do karate in middle/high school my sensei actually used to say he didn't compete in the ufc because he was too dangerous and would kill people. This was back in like 2008/2009 or so

"Cain Velasquez shoots that power double? Just use that left hand" LMAOOOOOO

What the fook is a bladder point? XD

The man that won the fight is Xio Xioadong. He himself has stated he is a mediocre mma fighter past his prime. He is on a mission to dispose of fake martial arts in China. The reason he is so mad in this fight is cause this guy leaked his address and called him the winter watermelon making fun of him and his career. Also just before the fight the government lowered his credit score so low he cannot ride a plane or a bullet train. Also they are calling him a traitor and bad stuff like that.

I don't know what Joe is talking about I witnessed the power of Chi with my own eyes, my master actually could make his hands GLOW!! I really miss Master Sho Nuff.

Joe is so straight forward and honest. A great guy.

I remember being in karate when i was younger. The guy teaching was like a revered god, and his word was absolute law.

My sensei can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. Takes about a half hour but its amazing to watch.

That dude reminded me of Tommy wiseau....”you cannot!!”

This has been uploaded like 3 times already now.... I'm still gonna watch it though cause one of my favorites lmao!

"And send you back to Mordor!" hahaha Crying laughing right now

Had a guy in a bar, of all places, explaining how it was too dangerous to demonstrate his magical energy on me. He seemed to imagine he would scare me with it lmao Humored him at first, but frankly it became offensive really quick. He refused to have a friendly spar or demonstrate his claims, all the while claiming superiority and that I couldn't handle him. Ended up giving him a lecture about what he's doing being disrespectful to people who have genuinely put a lot of time and effort into actually learning martial arts. Deaf ears. Delusional muppet.

Some fake martial artist getting smeshed ‘I have those matts at my house’ 😂😂😂😂😂

Man, someone hit me in the bladder - point 4years ago....Still down to this day!

Fuckin thx Joe. This took me down a fake martial arts watching rabbit hole I still haven’t returned from 😂

Really good analysis here. This has been my experience as well, and if you dare to show skepticism about anything being taught, forget about being promoted.

This is why guns are important you never know when one of these super powered Kung Fu masters can go crazy

Joe"very culty" Rogan

Lot's of years ago, while in my 20's. I took a martial arts course. There were only 3 ranks. White, Brown and Black. Took about 8-10 years to obtain a Brown belt. None of this, if you sign up for our golden belt program, you'll be a black belt in three years, and the tests will cost you 20 bucks for each level. But look at what you get out of this, now let's buy you a school T-shirt and tell your friends. Wow, that was amazing to hear. After about 5 years, I was not a brown belt, but white belt was dirty from the wear and tear of practice. A friend joked at me and told me is was a Green belt after 3 years. He took me to his studio and I wore my white belt and we had 5 sparing matches. He lost everyone. I had no mercy on him. A another black belt told me my moves were not proper? Said ok, show me. He lost to me as well. So Joe, you're correct there are schools that only have one mission, make money, everyone gets a trophy.

I've watched this so many times. I would love to watch a full podcast of him breaking down these videos.

There is a death touch. It's called Deontay Wilder's punch without boxing gloves on.

The church magic shit where they pray over you and you drop is the exact same thing as those guys in the dojo

Joe "Gimme some volume on this, Jamie" Rogan

I remember I went to some kind of taekwondo class when I was maybe 9 or 10. It did have a sort of cult feeling to it, but it wasn't as creepy as it was just weird. The strangest part was the sparring. They had us wearing protective gear and paired up fighting each other in an open space. Closed fist impact to the face was allowed, there were no specific rules, no winning or losing, and you just go at it for like 10 minutes to see how you've improved. And there was a row of chairs lined up where our parents would watch. With the younger students it wasn't that bad because they weren't strong enough to do much damage through their leg and hand cushioning. But they finally had to ban the "full force" aspect of it because I nailed some bigger kid straight in the mouth twice, which snapped his braces. The dude retaliated by tackling me against a mirror and pounding on my head before the instructor broke us up. Neither of us were hurt that bad, but the audience of parents watching just this guy bleeding from the mouth and then trying to smash a much smaller child into the wall

Me and my friends still quote that "Reach me with that hand" video all the time. Such a classic memeworthy video.

I used to study in a school where the "soke" was trying to start a literal cult. He wouldn't promote atheists to black belt. His school was listed as a 501c and he pressured students to "donate" money to the school, etc. He had a few upper belts he called his disciples. It was weird. Women he wanted to sleep with made it through the ranks very quickly if you know what I mean.

Yeah one karate dojo wanted me to give up playing music. I was like ahhhhh no

5:31 you cannot. Lol. Been in tae kwon do since 1984 and few years of American style kickboxing in mid 90s. I love martial arts. But I'm the 1st to knock it down. I love watching mr Rogan's face during this. Hes a true martial artist. Hes very skilled. Watch some of his video demonstrations.

The key is to absorb your opponent's attack and convert it into your own self humiliation, then expel the absorbed energy by bleeding from your nose

I trained as a stuntman for a number of years with a martial arts master (of his own school) who was ex special forces and taught hand to hand combat in seminars and for police and refereed MMA fights and by all accounts really knew his shit and was not to be messed with... but after a number of years it became apparent to me that all the more experienced stunt people would quietly find their way to the exits and the only people who kept showing up for training were pathetic wannabes like myself... because in the time I was there, we never really practiced any thing but basic break falls and tumbling off a mini tramp, and spent most the time sitting around listening to this guy talk about how great he was and disseminating "top secret" information that was really public knowledge. The whole thing was very culty; all about loyalty and discipline, never questioning your superior, being a member of and exclusive group and shunning ex members, and you ignore all that BS because you think it has something to do with trust and dedication and that you are getting something valuable out of the experience, but the reality is half the people in our group couldn't do a pull up so who was kidding who.

"they might as well be 5" Such an LOL

That no touch stuff really works. I've never seen a no touch master actually land a single punch.

Thank you for the video! All of you friends are super awesome! Oh, moments in this video are sad.

A good martial arts school will teach you that what you are learning is for competition, i.e. it's a sport, and is absolutely not fighting. My Tae Kwon Do teachers would say running away is the best defence against a knife. This was a guy who used to teach real fighting to police forces and the millitary. My karate sensei was pretty similar, and used to explain that the stances and techniques were for competition scoring, and would not work against a grappler or boxer. Much needed honesty, especially since many people in martial arts schools are just not street fighting types. Frankly it is dangerous to give people false courage, and could a) turn someone into a bully and b) get somone killed. The biggest advantage a trained martial artist would have is that they know what it feels like to get hit, and they are fit enough to react. But best defence is don't fight in the street.

Joe “I get freaked out by cults” Rogan

“Yellow shoes…yellow shoes…oh no, it’s red shoes” “I have those mats in my house” 😂😂😂 what!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Random question What mics do ya use Joe?

"small intestine he gonna get it from the neck" - joe rogan XD

I literally just paused this and went to follow the mcdojolife 😂😎

"Cain Valasquez shoots that power double, just put that left hand.. right there." What a legend.

"reach me with that hand, reach me with that hand... YOU CANNOT!!"

I can knock you out without touching you. Me, "So can I, that's why there's a bumper on my truck." Welcome to video game martial arts.

Master Po from the Opie and Anthony days was prime McDojo life.

I just love Joe Rogan another great clip

Dude in my town runs a fake martial arts dojo. I box been doing it for 7 years so I decided to sign up for a few classes to embarrass the dude when none of his bullshit worked on me

8:47 I saw a video a day ago called "The Bizzarre World of Fake Martial Artist!" and it goes into good detail about the MMA guy. IT's rather sad.

the imitations made me cry

It’s the “scapula”. The knee cap on his back. Good call

Reach me with that hand, reach me with that hand, YOU CANNOT!!!

Board breaking is interesting. My kids are both in it 7 and 9 and they often struggle with that part to pass all their tests. And the Master said something interesting. He calls this a mental challenge and not physical and he’s absolutely right. They break the practice boards easy but they often have mental blocks and fear the wood. It’s a very good test for them because it is a legit challenge they have to overcome and it’s all in their mind. With most adults, I agree that it’s cake (until they get to ridiculous kicks and thickness).

I love that Joe also enjoys my favorite scene from Dr. Strange when he sends Voldemort and Chewbacca back to Mordor!

Joe please do a podcast on Benny the jet, I think he is by far one of the greatest to EVER do it.

Joe: I'd like to speak to your manager, his name is GOD.

People should check out thepinkman. His series on Frank Dux is amazing.

It pisses me off that martial arts get bad reps from fake artists, I’m glad joe Rogan sees through it since I do it

Rogan laughing at fake martial artists is hilarious to watch. It is the hardest I have ever seen him laugh.

I charge my chi by rubbing my labradors nose with an open faced palm

Joe "i went to catholic school" Rogan.

Ive always been interested in martial arts..watched all the movies as a kid lol. But i had seizures and kinda shyed away from head trauma lol. But i find it amazing

My man said bladder point... I can no longer watch this video 😂😂

I grew up in Cleveland and my first experience was with a dojo that was teaching taijutsu but one of my friends dads saw what he was teaching us and got us up out of their took us to A ronald Duncan school where we learned real fighting from martial artists with military people

Damn bro every time I see my meme on here I still can't believe it

Kiai Master vs MMA This guy is so respectful after he wins he checks up on the guy who he just beat's in his face.

That first dude against Renzo would get his shit rocked lol

That religion comparison is pretty accurate .makes me think of those people on tv claiming to cure disease by touching someone's head

My teacher changed his last name from Stevens to Lee.

"Try that on Renzo, you fuckin' dummy" lmao

"Look at that arm bar. Ferocious"

I tried to wrestle two of my untrained friends and they choked me out fast lol 😂 if only I trained the no touch !!!

Old mateys new netflix spesh is very very good

These make me miss my old Sensei Ben Dover good man

You never disappoint man lol

There is always a level of tradition, respect by system, respect for the system, but when it gets culty im outtie lol.

3:53 I have one question..... *WHAT IS THE CHICKEN ATTACK AND I NEED TO KNOW NOW*

I'm totally addicted to fake martial arts videos

So glad I watched this before I started martial arts !!

Joe meet me at Jamaica pond for a Handy Rogan!!