Breaking Free: The Secret to Overcoming Enmeshment

Рет қаралды 16,133

3 жыл бұрын

In this weeks episode of Heal The Hurt I am going to dive deep into what are the signs and characteristics of enmeshment?
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Hi, I'm Kenny. I'm an Emotional Mastery Coach, Podcaster, and Author. I founded The Greatness Movement (www.thegreatnessuniversity.com/) to help people achieve emotional mastery and become the greatest version of themselves.
🤯 MY MISSION
The science is now overwhelming. Every relational, economic, political, and social problem originates from unhealed childhood emotional pain.
Currently, our society looks for solutions to these social maladies in every other possibility but the actual source of the problem. Making things more difficult is that our unhealed emotional pain is also responsible for avoiding the source of the problem. That is why these maladies have continued for generations.
As a society, we are all stuck in the Worst Day Cycle.
Therefore, the mission of The Greatness Movement is to conquer that long avoided frontier. To do that, we need new knowledge that can be developed into a skill and ultimately refined into a tool to heal that pain and stop the generational transference of The Worst Day Cycle. In short, we need emotional mastery.
#Kenny Weiss #Enmeshment #What Is Enmeshment

Пікірлер: 106

@Tripp393 Ай бұрын

"Becoming sick is how enmeshed people get their power back." Breakthrough line right there. I always sensed my wounds were self inflected and in reaction to my mother, but I wasn't quite sure.

@anewchapter1336 2 жыл бұрын

I have learned co-depenents have this complusion to over-explain...I do this all the time. Over-explaining and hyper-vigilance. I have worn myself out with it all, LOL. It also didn't help that I have been a special ed teacher for two decades and am so accustomed to repeating the same information in as many ways as possible. I am re-training myself to say things only once now and to be silent and just let consequences happen if necessary as long as I know the person said they understood me. I was so invalidated and enmeshed by my mother for four decades that I automatically assume people do not understand me and try to prove I am worthy of being "seen" and "heard". I grieved for a month when I realized this about myself and why I have the issues that I do. It has been a very liberating healing journey thus far...a journey I will be on the rest of my life. I turn 50 in a few months and have pledged to myself that by time I turn 50 I will be able to start a new chapter.

@DeepThinkersClub 11 ай бұрын

Wow! Someone else has this problem too!! I thought I was the only one! 😄

@user-tq8vt8jn8e 4 ай бұрын

Research trauma and psychedelics

@rafeeqwarfield9690 15 күн бұрын

How’s it going?

@anetakastrickiene9526 9 күн бұрын

"Coming into room and feeling about people they don't know about themselves" - Lord, I am sooo tired of this "ability". This is first time i'm hearing of this. Thank You!

@katieg7679 5 ай бұрын

I love the wine analogy! I come from a very enmeshed family, I had no idea until a few years ago, and it just seemed like my family was completely normal while I had so much confusion and low self esteem and inability to keep relationships. My therapist had a really great analogy. She said that growing up it's like being in a zoo with no cages or fences, and the tigers and lions are just roaming around everywhere. We need boundaries!

@kimgordon3695 3 ай бұрын

Learn to just say thank you

@Mary-vr3xz 13 күн бұрын

I wish I could heal overnight. I don't like it how you described enmeshment. It is disgusting, but it is exactly how I operate. I will be patient with myself and make small changes every day and care for myself. I am on board 100% to break free from this matrix that my trauma created for me.

@alisoncrafton9724 2 жыл бұрын

OMG! All my life I've always felt like....what is it about me? I asked myself that question so many times and you have perfectly defined the missing piece with this video.

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

How exciting. I am happy for you!

@gigicolada 7 ай бұрын

When you talked about typing out a paragraph where a simple “thank you” would suffice, I cringed. I am working so hard on this. I put myself in the other person’s shoes to help me not be so obnoxious lol.

@pamelacroya1502 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this mind blowing truth!!! I’m an empath & have been fighting it in my gut for so long!! Now I see that it is just disfunction from my abusive past. You’ve given me hope that I can heal.

@kennyweiss 3 ай бұрын

You're welcome. I hope you take advantage of my free classes, and downloads to get you started and once you see improvement, move on to my books and other materials designed to help you heal.

@norobbery Жыл бұрын

The drug comment I think is spot on. Perhaps this is why if one is prone to panic, he or she merely needs to have the drug at hand and doesn't necessarily need to take it. It's a mental safety net. Just knowing it is there can stop a panic attack.

@nandinigogoi2584 Жыл бұрын

Made me cry Bcoz everything is true and have experienced through out life till 41 years and finally free...But the loss of childhood and so many relations make me cry like helpless creature...

@sll110 Жыл бұрын

me too

@MartinJ878 4 ай бұрын

One of the best explanations about enmeshment.

@KarenAnthony-ms7pf 17 күн бұрын

You’re exposing my operating system. I’m naked and uncomfortable but it’s enlightening. Validate me, my god. I’m a mess.

@gigicolada 7 ай бұрын

I’m enmeshed. So many of these are both of us. I’m learning who I am and learning to separate my memories and emotions from theirs and this is great insight into all of that. I’m also working on my mind/body relationship, healing my ulcers and too-soon oncoming menopause. I never thought the genes are activated by environment but it makes sense.

@ragcatdoll Ай бұрын

This is probably the best video on KZfaq and describes the dynamics in my family perfectly. My mom does not get along with her mother in law and would dump her trauma on me constantly growing up while also isolating me from my father’s family, expressing that theyre evil. She would always complain that she didn’t feel accepted by my father’s family and that she yearned for a warm, welcoming family. Something she didn’t have, as she lost her parents early. Once I was older and I suggested to have a talk with my grandmother to talk things out, she actually said she didn’t want that because she feared she would lose me. While I empathise with my mom’s situation to a certain extent, her repeated trauma dumping has become very annoying.

@sino4456 Ай бұрын

I was enmeshed with my mom. When I moved away from home I became depressed. I should have been delighted to be gone but all I knew was my relationship with my mom. We got even closer. Ive come off medication numerous times and ended up in hospital. I wouldnt say medication is wrong. New Neural pathways have to grow. In some instances medication is important. I know one girl who went off her medication and commited suicide. It may be a placebo but for some people that placebo is needed. I know my depression is as a result of my upbringing but the last time I went off them, I ate well, meditated, exercised, then started a new job and the stress sent me back into hospital.

@WriterK 5 ай бұрын

34:40 and onward, that is my mom, and my dad. totally. Everything is about them. Even between them, they take everything the say to each other, so personally. I used to make peace between them ALWASY, but then now in my early 40s, I have become exhausted of mothering them, they are 70+ and I am not their mother, I am tired. So no I just let them say anything to each other, do anything, i am like, yeah, you are adults, you know best what you do, what you say.

@21cormorants Ай бұрын

I haven’t heard anyone mention personalization in enmeshment before - I’m so grateful you brought it up! Absolutely going through this right now; it’s like I can’t say anything about anything without it coming back to be twisted into an insult I hurled at this person, when that was literally never stated. I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around how and why this keeps happening with this relative, and now it’s so much easier to see and contextualize. Not sure how to deal with it, but at least I can put a name to it. Thank you.

@Zoe-ig3fu 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for such honesty. This video has helped me understand more than any Dr consultation.

@chelseaxu2323 2 жыл бұрын

This is great content! I am in an enmashed relationship with my mum. I was stupid enough to get her involved in my life even I had my own family. Such a mistake...living together for 10 years, it costs my marriage and my motherhood for my only daughter as she was soooo involved with my daughter, and what I was saying doesn't make any difference. I finally moved to another city, but she was sick, so I had to move her to live with me again. She has her husband, but she doesn't want to live with her husband but loves living with me. I just don't know how we can live the way it is. I wish her can find herself, and take control of her own life!

@flower_7890 Жыл бұрын

I feel you, my mum is like that, I moved to another country 10 years ago and it was the best decision ever. She no longer can control me😌. Wish you all the best x

@noneofyourbuizness Жыл бұрын

@@flower_7890 how did she react . I always wanted to move abroad but she is making plan so she can move in the same country as us, oh and she is trying to manipulate, convince her daughter to move to She said she wants to be like her sister and have her kids live in the same area too .

@norobbery Жыл бұрын

These are really good and greatly appreciated. Education is bringing peace through understanding.

@adelinapepene6314 3 ай бұрын

Thank you, Kenny for bringing this service to the world, transformative information ❤

@Geronimo2u 4 ай бұрын

God bless you for speaking, the truth, and being the honorable person, you are about reality and the connection between mind, body and spirit. Shame on our doctors who seems to worship money, which will not follow them to the other side. God bless the doctors who are still doctors

@stevebruce1235 Ай бұрын

Your a blessing Kenny.....Thank you

@teznejensel9099 4 ай бұрын

❤❤❤Jesus Christ we thank God 🙏 for this teaching wow wow

@spice8831 Жыл бұрын

Legend!! Sooo on the ball. Thank you

@Gigiyoungerme 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing the signs of enmeshment

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

You’re welcome 😁

@heatherguess518 2 жыл бұрын

Damn......I love listening and learning and relearning this stuff you share. So much awareness in your videos. The prisoner part....yes!!!!! I was trained to be a slave. I had two choices......to allow myself to be violated or face complete abandonment and death. The hardest thing I'm learning to do is to sit and just BE with myself. 😨😨😭😭😭😭. Jesus, anyway, everything you mention, I have been or done or am still working on.....ughhhhhh....

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

I’m really sad to hear you experienced all of that but I love that you’re working so hard to reclaim yourself. If you need help along the journey remember I have my free master class, that will really help you in the recovery and I would also recommend my book your journey to success. That will really show you how to break the cycle.

@heatherguess518 2 жыл бұрын

@@kennyweiss thank you

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

@@heatherguess518 You are very welcome😁

@anewchapter1336 2 жыл бұрын

Same here....it has been a rewarding but painful process but it feels great...it's that pain and joy feeling Kenny spoke about in a video I listened to.

@WriterK 5 ай бұрын

I do not feel hungry at all and do not even want to eat in two situations: 1 - if I am very very happy and at peace. 2. when I am very sad and frustrated

@S2023. 5 күн бұрын

Our emotions contribites to health state. Unhealed childhood trauma.

@stefaniacalabrese9680 3 жыл бұрын

Precious Kenny. Thank you.

@kennyweiss 3 жыл бұрын

You are welcome

@lovetobe30 3 ай бұрын

WOWW KENNY!! We have giving or soul away😱OMG that came as a knife in my soul!😢

@conchitasamuel8959 6 ай бұрын

Your the Best of all your kindness and talent to share so many people.😊

@kennyweiss 6 ай бұрын

You are so kind

@kumarina Ай бұрын

After seeing different therapists and being offered medication (once and I was like ???) I just found the cause and course of action for my problems. You can lear so many things now from KZfaq.

@contentbible615 10 ай бұрын

Very enlightening......Thank you

@kennyweiss 10 ай бұрын

Happy to help!

@missstarrynight7736 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent video. Thank you so much !

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

You are welcome!

@SoulGPS 3 ай бұрын

This is awesome! Thank you 😊

@kennyweiss 3 ай бұрын

Glad you like it!

@michaelboulos3272 2 ай бұрын

Perfect analogy

@vanessesmal3435 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you was excellent and very informative

@kennyweiss 3 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@21cormorants Ай бұрын

Wow, the example of typing out a novel to say “thank you” could have come from my own life! I’ve made a concerted effort to stop, take account of myself, and to just say thank you more modestly… but the enmeshed family (sibling) DOES feel that I’m being rude when I do that, never mind my own efforts to convince myself that a simple “thank you so much” is sufficient. Any advice for when the enmeshment is kind of clinging to you even as you try to disengage from it, but you keep getting attacked and vilified for it? I know we’ve all got abandonment wounds, but I can’t be attached emotionally at the hip anymore… 😮‍💨

@momione11 10 ай бұрын

Dito and thank you for your videos.❤

@michelleduncan8476 Жыл бұрын

445 pm Fantastic information ! Grape story is right on! Really appreciate your delivery styles!

@theuniverseisk 10 ай бұрын

I definitely do feel smothered by affection and avoid arguments

@Geronimo2u 4 ай бұрын

However, as a therapist at times, I do recommend medication only because I know that the persons mind is not open to these truth so sometimes the medication is more helpful, if it is something minor non-addictive than not doing anything for the person. That’s the only time that I suggest an antidepressant is because I know the person is not capable of seeing the truth and I feel it’s better for them to be at least on a medication than nothing

@kimgordon3695 3 ай бұрын

12:00

@kaoutar6921 Ай бұрын

Thank you

@omni-purpose 3 ай бұрын

Good man I see God in you He loves you

@WriterK 5 ай бұрын

Your videos resolves so much of my answers and confusions, every time. I have so much to write and so much to get help with, but can't do it all here. By the way, is that a real background? If so, I am curious to know what that box on the table on your right hand side is :)

@debragibbs9347 Ай бұрын

I had to learn: ‭1 Corinthians 6:13a AMPC‬ Food [is intended] for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will finally end [the functions of] both and bring them to nothing. --- ●"Comfort-food": Food is not for comfort...the God of all comfort is for comfort. ●"Soul-food": Food is not for the soul (mind, will, emotions)...Truth, Trust, Comfort are for the soul. ●Food is not for boredom...find something to do!

@LAMM117 Жыл бұрын

Oh my gosh, this HAS been me.....I have gotten better but still suffer from my expectations of my primary relationship

@caitlinvongaertner9153 3 ай бұрын

I find your content very helpful- mostly. And it’s definitely brought my comfort in my healing process. I definitely disagree that ALL illness is caused or cured by unresolved childhood trauma. I also personally know fat people who are happy, whole and not avoidant. Thought I’d share that perspective that these things might not be as black and white as they seem to you. Thanks for all the useful information!

@gypsyrose26 Ай бұрын

"Some humans may have one or several favorable qualities that are well-developed, but because of the multidimensional nature of humans no individual can be denoted as perfect, flawless, or unequivocally without fault. All humans are imperfect. " All these videos make me realize that all people are fucked one way or another. So there's no such thing as the right ( correct way) because what one sees as abuse and overprotective etc , those people guilty of it, really truly means well for their kids and sees it differently unless they are aware and do it with malicious intend. Maybe they are like this because they never had it growing up, and vow to not let their child feel unloved. Ugh, its hard being a human. All the blame goes to the parents and it's sad because in schools, we are being forced to not show emotions, our side doesn't matter, the bully gets away with it etc, I don't think parents should take all the blame. Some people just have issues not because of parents, but because of who they themselves are.

@conchitasamuel8959 6 ай бұрын

Well it’s an eye opening. So much to learn.and practise into the right directions. I missed my younger years? That Iam now amazed with these teachings from your video so much appreciated thank you heaps😢!

@jejyed Жыл бұрын

Like most of your videos, this is clear, informative, and even entertaining. But what's with the cough Kenny? Hope you feel better.

@rmcd823 Жыл бұрын

Actually, I don’t know any healthy family.

@sarahksanders1029 7 ай бұрын

Could you share the study “adverse childhood experience study” and Bruce Lipton?

@kennyweiss 7 ай бұрын

Great question. I have just created this new tool where you can type in any question and it pulls from all of my content to give you the solution you are looking for and it gives you direct links to the original source of the content and best of all, it is FREE. Give it a try. ;-) kennyweiss.net/ask-kenny/

@fightswithspirits915 11 ай бұрын

This is a 1 year old video with 1 year old comments. This should have daily hits with daily comments. A very important topic. Would rather have a nice undamaged grape though.

@tim29oco 26 күн бұрын

I think I might be enmeshed with my adoptive mother. I’ve never had a father. And I live with my adoptive sister alone (we’re not related). How do I actually “heal” whatever that means?

@kassandragraham9367 2 жыл бұрын

I was born blind due to a gene mutation and now have a gene induced cancer due to a different gene mutation.

@flower_7890 Жыл бұрын

Great material, thank you 😊

@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

@masteringfibromyalgia 2 жыл бұрын

Ok I have all of these attributes, however I cannot figure out how I was enmeshed as a child….

@NightTennisDotCom 4 ай бұрын

❤

@tracieharris8100 2 жыл бұрын

What are the steps to recovery?

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

That’s a great question Tracie. That would require codependence recovery. You can start by watching the videos on my codependence playlist. I also have dedicated Masterclasses to walk you through the recovery process which are now 50% off for the next week. I also have an online group which is only $59 a month to coach people through the process. Just let me know what you might be interested in and I will be happy to send you the links so you can gather more information and decide what works best for you?

@tracieharris8100 2 жыл бұрын

Yes I would like the links

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

@@tracieharris8100 OK here’s a link to my book www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1981471014/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1628359317&sr=8-3

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

@@tracieharris8100 here’s a link to my master classes. If you decide to take any of those let me know and I will send you the coupon code to get 50% off thegreatnessu.com/courses

@kennyweiss 2 жыл бұрын

@@tracieharris8100 and here is the link to the private group www.tguprivategroup.com