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Kristi Noem VS Puppies

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Josh Johnson

Josh Johnson

Күн бұрын

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Hi Friends!
Today I wanted to share my thoughts on Kristi Noem. She is the governor of South Dakota and an avid MAGA Republican. She's been in and out of the news the past month and so I talk about her explosive revelations in her book and the fall out since.
I also discuss phone minutes and how they used to function vs the unlimited world we live in now. Providers like AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, and Sprint all used to have us in a chokehold on minutes and the companies have since merged and set us free leading to a bundle of other problems in society and how we relate to our phones.
Thanks for watching. If you enjoy please share with someone who could use a laugh and most of all thanks for being my friends.
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
Hit me on them internets:
Instagram - / joshjohnsoncomedy
TikTok - / joshjohnsoncomedy
Facebook - / joshjcomedy
Video Directed by Eric Shepard
Recorded at Funny Bone in Dayton, OH

Пікірлер: 1 300
@JoshJohnsonComedy
@JoshJohnsonComedy 2 ай бұрын
Hi Friends make sure to subscribe. We are only 29k away from the goal of 500k by June 30th
@SnowQueene
@SnowQueene 2 ай бұрын
"Free nights and weekends," yo... 😆
@thomassteinbring3769
@thomassteinbring3769 2 ай бұрын
Ayo what you doing uploading on a Wednesday? Not that I'm complaining
@lisahoffman9019
@lisahoffman9019 2 ай бұрын
Have your mom explain landlines to you.
@YosiahW
@YosiahW 2 ай бұрын
I remember after 5PM texts and calls were free. After 7PM laundry was half priced too. I miss the late 90's and early 2000's.
@dshepherd107
@dshepherd107 2 ай бұрын
That set was 🔥 Josh! I’d forgotten about the minutes😂.
@ismaelvillegas3
@ismaelvillegas3 2 ай бұрын
"I've never seen someone get kicked out of outside" is an incredible line
@juliacaro
@juliacaro 2 ай бұрын
100%
@BELLABARBIE420
@BELLABARBIE420 2 ай бұрын
I was thinking it. He said it 😂
@beigefox6579
@beigefox6579 2 ай бұрын
I just came here to make similar comment. 🤣🤣🤣
@aylbdrmadison1051
@aylbdrmadison1051 2 ай бұрын
@@BELLABARBIE420 : When you think about it, that's exactly what all governments do to all of humanity.
@breebee83
@breebee83 2 ай бұрын
I was reading this as I heard it! 😂💀 correct, sir.
@neyona1173
@neyona1173 2 ай бұрын
In my hypothetical head-cannon, the daughter who came home and asked Kristi Noem where Cricket was convinced her that it was a good idea to put that story in the book to get revenge for Cricket.
@bevwest7428
@bevwest7428 2 ай бұрын
Wow, what a good insight, hadn’t thought of that.
@Kudos2-someone
@Kudos2-someone 2 ай бұрын
"You'd better get ahead of the story, mom."
@JeremyAndersonBoise
@JeremyAndersonBoise 2 ай бұрын
Justice for Cricket
@mcwjes
@mcwjes 2 ай бұрын
Her political opponents better merchandise "Justice for Cricket" or they're leaving money on the table.
@MorrisDuBose
@MorrisDuBose 2 ай бұрын
YES!
@unclewiley1986
@unclewiley1986 2 ай бұрын
Killing the dog and goat then responding to people being upset by talking about how she ALSO killed her horses shows how much self awareness she lacks.
@dopaminey9946
@dopaminey9946 2 ай бұрын
She also lacks an emotional connection to mercy.
@phoenixgirl70
@phoenixgirl70 2 ай бұрын
Jfc I didn’t know there were horses too! Do you know her “reasons” for them? If my pets were dying and suffering I still couldn’t kill them myself. The vet has always done it but I’m there holding my fur baby. They will never die with just a stranger. I’m guessing the horses were older and she couldn’t make money off of them. She shouldn’t be allowed to have animals. The laws need to be stronger. So much stronger.
@ljashley5407
@ljashley5407 2 ай бұрын
@@phoenixgirl70. She probably shoots things when she gets mad and has a temper tantrum.
@phoenixgirl70
@phoenixgirl70 2 ай бұрын
@@ljashley5407 Her kid(s) probably wear Kevlar vests under their clothes. When my past cats or dogs got sick and there was nothing else to try I could never kill them myself in a million years. (And I have a terminal illness and am so grateful my country will let me decide when to die and not just suffer.) The vet has always done it while I hold my fur baby. They’re never alone. But I could never do it let alone shoot them. And it was her own sloppy, careless, preventable fault. I’m sure Trump thought she was great.
@iancowan3527
@iancowan3527 2 ай бұрын
Shows emotional disconnection...
@FoNgThOnG
@FoNgThOnG 2 ай бұрын
The Puppy was "untrainable" so she killed it. The Goat was just "stinky" and got roped into the murder train lol Noem's a psycho.
@aylbdrmadison1051
@aylbdrmadison1051 2 ай бұрын
Except she didn't train the puppy, and actually people should have such dogs bred specifically for hunting birds, trained by a professional, or someone who knows how. Also, I just read she shot her horses too, and am curious if the reasons for that were also clearly over her own mistakes.
@BetteLouWho
@BetteLouWho 2 ай бұрын
She failed to train the puppy. She shot the goat for being an intact male. She failed to neuter him and shot him for smelling like a goat. The THREE HORSES she shot makes no sense either!
@HereForTheCatContent
@HereForTheCatContent 2 ай бұрын
I think I read the puppy was a little over a year old. She took her on a hunting trip thinking an untrained baby would somehow get trained in an exciting, over-stimulating situation like that. Then took her around some chickens without supervising her. Besides some severe emotional and moral deficits, this woman either lacks foresight and an understanding of cause and effect to an astounding degree, or she just likes to set up terrible situations where she can respond with something even more terrible, and pretend to be justified.
@OctopusOwl
@OctopusOwl 2 ай бұрын
@@HereForTheCatContentI think it may be a combination of both
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
“Untrainable” weird phrase to use against an animal one didn’t bother attempting to train!
@Incityandinforest
@Incityandinforest 2 ай бұрын
I’m a South Dakotan, there was one year kristi noem had a slogan saying “meth. we’re on it” 🤦‍♀️ her way of addressing meth problem here.
@josiechaney9010
@josiechaney9010 2 ай бұрын
And truth in advertising 🤣
@banksofchaos93
@banksofchaos93 2 ай бұрын
Oh my lord 😂
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
Are you fucking kidding me Wow
@commonsense571
@commonsense571 2 ай бұрын
😂😂 no wayyy hahaha I shouldn’t laugh but holy crow! Nobody… Nobody saw the problem with that beforehand? It doesn’t inspire confidence that’s for sure. Yikes.
@Amy-kr4tc
@Amy-kr4tc 2 ай бұрын
I remember that! Maybe … John Oliver did a bit on it ?? I saw it on a late night show for sure.
@matiuhhh2788
@matiuhhh2788 2 ай бұрын
i know she’s banned from the land because of her actual political stances but it’s so funny to think that they banned her for the dog thing
@MamaTreNiner
@MamaTreNiner 2 ай бұрын
There's a young man serving 25 to life for defending himself against a police dog that was ATTACKING him... 🤬🤬🤬
@teresajohnson142
@teresajohnson142 2 ай бұрын
She wasn't just banned over the dog. They banned her for making public statements that she believes that drug cartels are using the reservations for drug & human trafficking. Her original bans came when she disagreed with the covid policies to enter a rez.
@GhostBear3067
@GhostBear3067 2 ай бұрын
It could very well be both.
@M0053yfate
@M0053yfate 2 ай бұрын
It's not because of her political stances. It's because she said they're crime ridden, and in cahoots with the Mexican Cartels Boogeyman. Then "offered to help" in a very condescending patronizing way. So they've said she isn't allowed on their sovereign nation until she makes a proper apology.
@GhostBear3067
@GhostBear3067 2 ай бұрын
@@M0053yfate that is part of her political stances.
@MadHatterTheMatter
@MadHatterTheMatter 2 ай бұрын
as a puppy owner I have been infuriated about her since the story broke. my puppies are 1.5 years old and still little assholes. she just took her anger out on two animals and thought it was normal because it was legal smh
@hurricaneheather1420
@hurricaneheather1420 2 ай бұрын
😮😮😮😮😮 omgoodness for real ? I'm not trying to be ignorant by any means. I'm just not in to politics
@idek1433
@idek1433 2 ай бұрын
I got a broken ass murder dog full grown almost 10 years later my nerves are gone and I'll have an ulcer soon because I still have my precious big ass psycho. she's still a total nightmare but so well trained nobody believes me until she tries to eat their dog that I told them to keep away 😮‍💨 murdering an actual puppy is so insane to me. I literally can't believe it and I have to believe she actually made it up to appeal to maga and she's just a moron 🤯 I seriously can't believe it
@sunsetskies83
@sunsetskies83 2 ай бұрын
She didn't think it was normal, she thought it was noble. She said it showed she could make tough decisions but it really showed she's impatient and bad with both animals (she also killed three horses around the time the book was released) and guns (despite the close range and the fact she only brought one bullet, her first shot only seriously injured the goat.)
@MsJellyBellyLove
@MsJellyBellyLove 2 ай бұрын
In her mind, she can do what she wants with her property, and that includes her animals.
@Damnitjim7
@Damnitjim7 2 ай бұрын
​@sunsetskies83 glad someone covered the whole story, also didn't she say she killed the dog cause it wasn't doing the job she wanted it to, and you gotta pull your own weight on the farm?
@nicholedowning8341
@nicholedowning8341 2 ай бұрын
I’m so glad you mentioned the poor goat. Nobody else gets passed the puppy which of course is horrendous. But I think about that goat as well.
@nophilter
@nophilter 2 ай бұрын
R.I.P. to the puppy and goat 🕊️
@TheBasher-_-
@TheBasher-_- 2 ай бұрын
Yeah that's so crazy 😂😂 I fking died laughing
@julianyc422
@julianyc422 2 ай бұрын
and it was because the goat was flithy, meaning she neglected the goat, she killed 3 Old Horses on the same day which I think she did to prevent the ASPCA from getting her aressted.
@JackieAdams-tp3pv
@JackieAdams-tp3pv 2 ай бұрын
She also shot 2 od her horses 🐎 she's evil 😮
@sherrybirchall8677
@sherrybirchall8677 2 ай бұрын
Also, don't forget. She shot the goat. It didn't do the job. So, the goat suffered in pain while she went to get another bullet.
@sunsetskies83
@sunsetskies83 2 ай бұрын
It’s so much more than this. The reason she killed the puppy is because, after training it to hunt birds, it killed the neighbor’s chickens. Then the goat didn’t die after she shot it so she had to go back to her car to get more ammo. And she named the chapter “It’s a Bad Day to be a Goat.” Incidentally, she went on to defend killing the dog and goat by saying its part of being on a farm and she killed three horses the week before. But, and this cannot be forgotten, last year she bragged about her two-year-old granddaughter already owning multiple guns. She is a two-year-old and one of her hunting mentors is an adult who doesn't know how to shoot even at close range, just ask the poor goat. And, just to top the crazy-cake that is her family with guns, when she was a tween her father pretended to strand her in a forest and told her to hunt her way back to camp. Then he followed her pretending to be a bear.
@sunsetskies83
@sunsetskies83 2 ай бұрын
I just cannot comprehend the magnitude of idiocy.
@Infodumptruck
@Infodumptruck 2 ай бұрын
Im sorry, WHAT
@jahliafinney707
@jahliafinney707 2 ай бұрын
Going to go google "Did Kristi Noem's father pretend to be a bear"
@MsJellyBellyLove
@MsJellyBellyLove 2 ай бұрын
Wait, she's the one who bragged her 2 year old grandbaby already had guns? Hooboy and tfg was gonna pick her as his VP? Did his advisory team not realize most gun owner voters are not insane?
@sunsetskies83
@sunsetskies83 2 ай бұрын
@@jahliafinney707 and what’s the best insane detail you can add following the trip around Google? With that level of hillbilly silliness, there has to be more to it that I just don’t even remember🤣
@laureneras9523
@laureneras9523 2 ай бұрын
I remember yelling at my friends "I'm not made out of minutes!!!!"
@DianaM.-ht8ls
@DianaM.-ht8ls 2 ай бұрын
“Wait til the weekend!”
@shaywilliams3358
@shaywilliams3358 2 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😔
@Dys_phoria
@Dys_phoria Ай бұрын
lol, it’s funny right now but it was frustrating back then when people were wasting time on call..
@FinnandMaxsMom
@FinnandMaxsMom Ай бұрын
I remember my friend getting her phone bill. It was in a box because her son was texting one-word texts to his friends. Her bill was close to $1,000 for one month.
@enkhzayabat-orgil9595
@enkhzayabat-orgil9595 2 ай бұрын
“phones didn’t use to be loose like that “ ☠️☠️☠️
@katherinepatchett7975
@katherinepatchett7975 2 ай бұрын
So good 😂😂😂
@maryrosekent8223
@maryrosekent8223 2 ай бұрын
I encountered your comment just as Josh was saying it. Timing is _everything._
@raphaellavictoria01
@raphaellavictoria01 2 ай бұрын
This is so exciting, I totally remember the good ol' days of 2005-2010 (roughly) when my plan had unlimited calls AFTER 6PM and on weekends. Awwww! And calling anywhere while on vacation abroad was never done, not even in 2013, because it would cost an arm and a leg.
@Exconfinedtroll.
@Exconfinedtroll. 2 ай бұрын
This is why my generation sends walls of text instead of breaking it up into 17 messages
@susannairisastarte5192
@susannairisastarte5192 2 ай бұрын
Wall of text is overwhelming for me. I prefer a few texts broken down 😂
@Bmf214
@Bmf214 2 ай бұрын
😅😅😅😅😅 my 20 something kids hate that! Mom u still there?…!
@esmeltorlath
@esmeltorlath 2 ай бұрын
Long SMS would be counted as multiple ones, though?
@korganrocks3995
@korganrocks3995 2 ай бұрын
@@esmeltorlath If it went over the character limit, yeah. Fun memories of running out of characters just before finishing a sentence, and having to go back over the whole text and try to figure out words to cut or shorten... 😄
@jasonfrancese8359
@jasonfrancese8359 2 ай бұрын
Gotta do paragraph breaks if I can.
@Ktakahashi18
@Ktakahashi18 2 ай бұрын
Killing animals for no other reason than just to kill is serial killer behavior. I was expecting "And then after she shot her goat she killed both her parents" 😱 What the heck?! Who kills a puppy!? And then a goat?
@rugr82day
@rugr82day 2 ай бұрын
Vanity Fair says she's recently admitted to sh00ting one of the horses.
@temitopeej8407
@temitopeej8407 2 ай бұрын
And then justifies it all by somehow linking it to killing her horse. I don’t get it.
@aylbdrmadison1051
@aylbdrmadison1051 2 ай бұрын
It's actually worse than that. She killed them both over her own mistakes. The puppy because it was a hunting dog she didn't have the sense to train, and she was the one who let it out of her vehicle at her neighbors where the chickens run loose. And the goat because it was stinky. Goats are stinky, hunting dogs require training. It's all 100% on her own inept and or apathetic decisions and the violence prone nature of the Q-ult.
@Andrea-tx5uc
@Andrea-tx5uc 2 ай бұрын
She's a Psychopath for sure! You're right. Major owes her!😂😂😂😂Love you Josh! ❤😂😂
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
Idk about her parents but someone should definitely be checking in on her poor children
@wheelbite14
@wheelbite14 2 ай бұрын
"Msg & data rates may apply" means nothing to us now. Lol
@lady2cherish
@lady2cherish 2 ай бұрын
Facts! I'm always thinking "why do u keep telling me this??"
@monicarenee7949
@monicarenee7949 2 ай бұрын
Lol it’s funny to still see this because I always do a double take like wait nobody does this anymore do they. I guess they have to mention it just in case someone is on an outdated plan?
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
@@lady2cherishyes lol like do they even offer plans that it would matter for at this point…?
@myrdicac338
@myrdicac338 2 ай бұрын
Exactly
@SL-lz9jr
@SL-lz9jr 2 ай бұрын
Occasionally I see a random cheap plan that has caps on certain features but you have to be blowing up your phone to reach those limits. Even when my plan says I can’t do something like international texting it doesn’t seem to be true because the messages will go through. So it seems weird to have that warning. I’m wondering if people who have emergency phones on very limited plans (usually for low income people or domestic violence victims provided by the government or something) have a need for this… I understand data rates… GoogleFi has a plan where you pay for each additional gig of data after you surpass the threshold but I never ever use up the minimum threshold.
@DeadInside-ew8qb
@DeadInside-ew8qb 2 ай бұрын
“She’s a politician…for now.” 😂
@katherinepatchett7975
@katherinepatchett7975 2 ай бұрын
Brilliance, as always 😂
@TheSpoonman00
@TheSpoonman00 2 ай бұрын
I worked for South Dakota's government for years while Kristi Noem was in office. To me, she never struck me as interested in governing, but rather using the position to eventually run for President trying to appeal to Trump's base. Little did I know how bad she actually was at doing this.
@wintertrooper7918
@wintertrooper7918 2 ай бұрын
Are you before or after "we're on it"
@TheSpoonman00
@TheSpoonman00 2 ай бұрын
@@wintertrooper7918 Great question! That happened my first year working there, but I was in HR so I didn't hear about it until I heard coworkers snickering at the news. For those unfamiliar, the Department of Health in SD hired an outside marketing firm to create a catchy slogan for their initiative to tackle the growing meth addiction problem in the cities and reservations. Somehow they decided on "Meth. We're on it." It was ruthlessly clowned on by the media, and was a feature story on Stephen Colbert's show where they photoshopped Mount Rushmore to look like all the presidents had missing teeth and scabs on their faces.
@TheSpoonman00
@TheSpoonman00 2 ай бұрын
​@@wintertrooper7918Great question! That happened my first year working there, but I was in HR so I didn't hear what happened until I heard coworkers snickering at the news.
@phoenixgirl70
@phoenixgirl70 2 ай бұрын
@@wintertrooper7918 I have to ask what’s “we’re on it”? Because I’m sure she was “off it” haha pretty bad. I’m hoping it wasn’t something that cost people’s lives?!
@TheSpoonman00
@TheSpoonman00 2 ай бұрын
@@phoenixgirl70 Nothing that intense lol. The SD Department of Health had hired an outside marketing firm to come up with a slogan for their public initiative to battle the methamphetamine crisis that was plaguing the state's cities and reservations. Somehow, they came up with "Meth: We're On It." It made national news as a hilarious blunder and even got featured on Colbert's show, accompanied with a visual of Mount Rushmore where the Presidential faces looked all strung out with missing teeth and bad skin.
@lucvergnes
@lucvergnes 2 ай бұрын
You know how most comedians try to tell jokes. Josh doesn't tell jokes, his storytelling is just naturally hilarious
@presentfuture7563
@presentfuture7563 2 ай бұрын
The places he pauses, and the delivery...it's an art
@lbierman21
@lbierman21 2 ай бұрын
I think we should refer to all politicians as "politicians...for now"
@CallMeJay44
@CallMeJay44 2 ай бұрын
"It'll just take a minute" had me DECEASED 😂
@nophilter
@nophilter 2 ай бұрын
Brilliant 😂😂
@ndbaker74
@ndbaker74 2 ай бұрын
I came in to say "brilliant"... someone beat me!
@tildeumlaut6833
@tildeumlaut6833 2 ай бұрын
BEST closing line on any set he’s posted
@beatsbynate710
@beatsbynate710 2 ай бұрын
😹😹😹 that was the best ending ever
@tamrasmith1744
@tamrasmith1744 2 ай бұрын
Kristi Noem said she had to put the dog story in her book, because people in South Dakota already knew about it, and it was being used against her. She wanted to tell her side of the story. Why do people in South Dakota already know the story if she isn’t going around telling people about it? The whole point is, if you do something awful, why share it with anyone? Answer: She doesn’t think it was awful. She’s proud of it.
@wintertrooper7918
@wintertrooper7918 2 ай бұрын
I'm a South Dakota citizen and none of us knew shit about that
@tamrasmith1744
@tamrasmith1744 2 ай бұрын
@@wintertrooper7918 You mean Kristi Noem lied? Shocking! 😂
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
Well yeah, she thought what she put in the book was a self defense 🤣 she’s a psycho.
@danteattenborrough4686
@danteattenborrough4686 2 ай бұрын
Republicans are cool with this behavior. She is them. She represents them.
@honeytrap3635
@honeytrap3635 2 ай бұрын
Omg the governor of SD. My home state. She’s banned from every reservation in the state.
@honeytrap3635
@honeytrap3635 2 ай бұрын
Commented in the first minute of watching, so reading more comments leads me to believe this was said in the set. 🤦🏼‍♀️😬🙈
@honeytrap3635
@honeytrap3635 2 ай бұрын
And there it is at around 4 minutes in. 😂😂😂
@GigMaresh
@GigMaresh Ай бұрын
Well 3 of them had banned her a while back . . . Then one by one the others said, heck, why didn't we think of this
@_NewtonMeter
@_NewtonMeter 2 ай бұрын
People forget text messages weren't unlimited.
@fakshen1973
@fakshen1973 2 ай бұрын
That camera as a kid... you can take 20 pictures before you have to buy another roll of film. Then you have to pay someone to develop the picture and print you so many sets of them. That's all you got. Nobody was taking pictures of their lunch. NOBODY.
@bec7080
@bec7080 2 ай бұрын
There were a lot of random photos of things though. We actually found a pack of photos the other day that we had not ever opened (I'm not sure why). They are from probably about 13-14 years ago so we had camera phones but they were not what they are now. They were mostly photos of just one of the nights we had a bonfire here which we used to do a lot of weekends. Nothing super special that night, not even a lot of people over (but I've is deceased now so it was a nice surprise to find that because he was in a photo). Anyway, there were just a few photos of pretty much "nothing". We did used to do that too. Just less often. And there's times I've been happy to have photos of food. Maybe when I've gotten it in a memory I think "oh that's when I visited so and so' or etc etc. And sure we have other photos too but food is special
@MsJellyBellyLove
@MsJellyBellyLove 2 ай бұрын
And you had to wait days to see the results. They didn't always have 1 hour developing back then.
@kevinforeman4485
@kevinforeman4485 2 ай бұрын
Every picture was carefully thought out. Do I need this??? And the camera told you how many pictures you took already & you were counting down.
@monicarenee7949
@monicarenee7949 2 ай бұрын
I remember before a party or event buying like 3 disposable cameras just to hopefully cover the whole time
@korganrocks3995
@korganrocks3995 2 ай бұрын
I just discovered a huge box full of old photos, and had the realisation that all that film must have cost an absolute fortune!
@JeremyAndersonBoise
@JeremyAndersonBoise 2 ай бұрын
I remember only having a land line, with a rotary dialer.
@saltwatertaffy7020
@saltwatertaffy7020 2 ай бұрын
I remember only having homing pigeons!😂 Just kidding!
@kevinforeman4485
@kevinforeman4485 2 ай бұрын
And if you called after like 10P.M. it better be a crazy emergency. 2A.M. death in the family type thing.
@DianaM.-ht8ls
@DianaM.-ht8ls 2 ай бұрын
And a Party Line for our house.😊
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
I remember the school nurse still having a rotary phone in the 90s and having to explain to me multiple times how the heck to use the thing to call mom 😂
@jefferson808
@jefferson808 2 ай бұрын
Party lines have entered the thread
@Notoastleft
@Notoastleft 2 ай бұрын
I was literally rewatching the Bidens Dog set before this waiting for it to drop, and the freshness of that call back was gold
@heavenwaits
@heavenwaits 2 ай бұрын
she recounts the whole thing like a serial killer representing themselves in court, she’s clearly so proud and enjoyed it
@wintertrooper7918
@wintertrooper7918 2 ай бұрын
What gets me is that the book had to go through editing and everything and no one thought "should this chapter really be included"
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
@@wintertrooper7918the chapter titled “It’s a Bad Day to be a Goat” What a god damned lunatic this creature is.
@trickslies844
@trickslies844 2 ай бұрын
@@wintertrooper7918 I'm pretty sure every one who read it thought "you know what? F this B**ch "
@kaciewolverton2692
@kaciewolverton2692 2 ай бұрын
She would do this to humans too if she thought there wouldn’t be consequences
@michelletxmischief4390
@michelletxmischief4390 2 ай бұрын
"I've never seen anybody kicked out of outside."😂
@joshuacampbell1625
@joshuacampbell1625 2 ай бұрын
I feel like if that happens, you've basically just lost at life at that point😂
@Balthazar97638
@Balthazar97638 2 ай бұрын
I’m a simple guy. I see Josh, I hit the like button
@HALOSnHORNS
@HALOSnHORNS 2 ай бұрын
Everytime
@MamaTreNiner
@MamaTreNiner 2 ай бұрын
🏆
@EpilepticHouseplant
@EpilepticHouseplant 2 ай бұрын
But you are a cat
@beewiz42
@beewiz42 2 ай бұрын
Literally like it as soon as it loads and then start sharing it to friends while he is just getting started because I already know it's going to be funny!! That last one though man that shit was hilariooooooooooous!
@JLF201
@JLF201 2 ай бұрын
If you're not also watching it, then you're missing out.
@TroutBoneless
@TroutBoneless 2 ай бұрын
The one thing Josh forgot about those old phones is calling people to tell them to stop texting you because you finally got unlimited talk but you only have 100 texts per month
@SarahSirbaskuWilliamsPhD
@SarahSirbaskuWilliamsPhD 2 ай бұрын
"It will just take a minute". HAHAHAHAHA. I got my first cell phone in 1998. I clearly remember living the minutes.
@justloadalready8839
@justloadalready8839 2 ай бұрын
As someone with a track phone in like 2010, it still blows and was like 50 cents per text message. Like someone better be dying, because I only put twenty dollars on this thing
@Tonyhouse1168
@Tonyhouse1168 2 ай бұрын
Real talk. Went from the Motorola that had the button on the side like a walkie-talkie, to the indestructible Nokia, to the Motorola Razr, which was awesome but maxed out at 100 messages. T9 Speech forever!
@tiffakang4525
@tiffakang4525 2 ай бұрын
I had a Nokia….. then nights and weekends became free. IT WAS ON! I was 17.😂
@tiffakang4525
@tiffakang4525 2 ай бұрын
@@Tonyhouse1168T9 FOREVER!!😂
@octiiXpies
@octiiXpies 2 ай бұрын
the scramble my friends & i did to switch from a landline 3way to a cellphone 3way call when it hit like 6 or 7 pm on a weeknight. also, i can't believe we used to do group calls??? most people don't even seem to be aware that you can chain multiple 3 way calls together nowadays 🫠
@fobinc
@fobinc 2 ай бұрын
I remember having to type out full-on paragraphs. I used to call my friends to tell them to stop texting single word texts and wasting my texts.
@VV1tch3zNVVulv3z
@VV1tch3zNVVulv3z 2 ай бұрын
Wait so if someone else texted you that’s counted as a minute plus your messages is another minute??? Oh hell no
@ggundercover3681
@ggundercover3681 2 ай бұрын
​@@VV1tch3zNVVulv3zno. Single word texts meant them having to ask more questions or typing more to converse.
@Exconfinedtroll.
@Exconfinedtroll. 2 ай бұрын
Went sent each other short novels for a reason
@fobinc
@fobinc 2 ай бұрын
@kittiikamii my plan at the time counts per text. So basically, whether if it's 1 word or a Stephen King novel, it's counted as 1. My limit was 200 texts a month followed by 15 cents a text. I had friends with unlimited text plans that would purposefully text multiple short texts to me to burn my minutes to a point I blocked their numbers and only unblocked to call them. Thankfully, they never had an emergency because I wouldn't have picked up while their numbers were blocked, haha.
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
@@ggundercover3681in the US yes both parties paid for everything.
@m0L3ify
@m0L3ify 2 ай бұрын
Reminds me of that time my phone got turned off for nonpayment because I answered a call from an extremely talkative classmate in college who wouldn't stfu and ran up my bill $300 because I forgot I wasn't on a landline. fml that sucked. She called me!! That should have been free!!!
@sexyhomeowner9345
@sexyhomeowner9345 2 ай бұрын
Lmao
@chkngrl
@chkngrl 2 ай бұрын
My family did that to me and to make it worse I was driving in Canada. I disputed the hell out of that $400 bill and luckily they pitied/ agreed with me and waved it.
@m0L3ify
@m0L3ify 2 ай бұрын
@@chkngrl Oof. I'm glad you got it waived! I don't think there was anything I could have done for mine. I stopped talking to that classmate, tho. 😂
@wairgald
@wairgald 2 ай бұрын
I used to work doing customer care for Sprint Wireless. One of the things that they conveniently forgot to tell people is that your minutes are used if someone calls you, like while your phone is ringing it uses your minutes even if you don't answer, or even if you had your phone powered off. On top of that it also used your minutes if someone left you a voicemail. I had a customer call in one time that had someone harassing them and constantly calling them, so they powered off the phone because they were told by the person that sold it to them that it wouldn't use your minutes that way. Turns out that was a lie. This person called my customer so much and left so many voicemails that they burned through 1,000 minutes and then racked up over $1,000 in overage charges. I of course had to escalate that call because it was beyond what I was allowed to credit. I found out later from the manager that I escalated to that they told the customer that there was nothing they could do about it. Their reasoning for that? Because we offered a free service to block phone numbers from calling your phone, but you had to call us to do it. This just pissed the customer off more because when they asked at the Sprint Store about it, they said there wasn't a way to do that and to just power off the phone.
@OscarLangleySoryu
@OscarLangleySoryu 2 ай бұрын
I was dating a British in the early 2000s and I remember him being stunned that American plans charged _both_ people for the same message/minutes and only then realizing that he was right and wtf Corporations really do go ahead and squeeze as much as possible out of us in this country. Nothing has changed in that sense.
@user-yd4rv5tn8c
@user-yd4rv5tn8c 2 ай бұрын
My first cell phone was the Nokia brick. It was prepaid, and text messages cost $0.10 off my minute balance.
@korganrocks3995
@korganrocks3995 2 ай бұрын
Same here, and that Nokia brick lasted me the better part of a decade before breaking!
@user-yd4rv5tn8c
@user-yd4rv5tn8c 2 ай бұрын
@@korganrocks3995 mine is buried deep in a box or drawer somewhere. I'm pretty sure the battery hasn't died yet.
@elainal6847
@elainal6847 2 ай бұрын
When my husband and I were still dating he would tell me “ you used all my going out money on text so … “ Stopped texting him and watched him text people back with “ you owe me 20 cents “ 😅 and block friends who didn’t pay him back. Glad I stuck it out though cause this man has amazing credit 😂
@user-zb7uh2ob1r
@user-zb7uh2ob1r 2 ай бұрын
Loved my Nokia! Not fancy but I wasn't addicted to my phone then so it didn't matter. Old Reliable!
@Just999Me
@Just999Me 2 ай бұрын
Yeah it still blows my mind that talk, text AND internet is unlimited now. Im getting too old too fast 😅
@wakingcharade
@wakingcharade 2 ай бұрын
Josh is out here dropping sets that are better paced and have more pay-off than full comedy specials, like. every week. That "phone minute" set was so well executed.
@Amy-lf5kn
@Amy-lf5kn 2 ай бұрын
Flashbacks to not wanting my friends to text me because their stupid comments cost me money. 😂😂
@Exconfinedtroll.
@Exconfinedtroll. 2 ай бұрын
That was a metric of if we're going to be friends or not 😂
@ALT-vz3jn
@ALT-vz3jn 2 ай бұрын
It didn’t cost money to receive a message, it only cost money to send a message.
@kelseygetz2123
@kelseygetz2123 2 ай бұрын
For some plans it was both. So if you were mad at someone you would text them a bunch because you knew it would cost them money and they’d get in trouble with their parents (yes I was a teen then) so one text was “a” then next text was “B”, c. D. e. F….
@caramelese8520
@caramelese8520 Ай бұрын
💀💀​@@kelseygetz2123
@EpilepticHouseplant
@EpilepticHouseplant 2 ай бұрын
BANNED FROM THE LAND would be a decent special title 😅
@michaelstark5663
@michaelstark5663 2 ай бұрын
I love Josh half smiling to himself every time he gonna say funny shit it's so endearing.
@InfamiTizMe
@InfamiTizMe 2 ай бұрын
Josh Johnson, you are undoubtedly one of the hardest working comedians of our generation. You talk about the most recent trending news topics, you do your research and you stay as unbiased as possible when presenting your point of view on the whole situation. You sir are a national treasure and I always get excited when I see you released a new video! Keep up the good work 😊❤
@joncoda365
@joncoda365 2 ай бұрын
When he mentioned the phone thing, wow, I don't know why I thought this comedic genius was in his 20s. He's 34yos.
@monicarenee7949
@monicarenee7949 2 ай бұрын
Ikr I keep thinking he’s way younger than me and I’m only 2 years older
@lindam156
@lindam156 2 ай бұрын
my friend got 1 hour free after 7pm so we'd literally talk for 55 minutes, hang up, and then call again. Rinse and repeat for like, 3 hours :D
@JavaL0ski
@JavaL0ski 2 ай бұрын
🤬A puppy, a goat & a horse⁉️......Sooo does anyone have John Wicks number?🤔
@verolawson3898
@verolawson3898 2 ай бұрын
2 or 3 horses!
@JavaL0ski
@JavaL0ski 2 ай бұрын
@@verolawson3898 💔That's it! 🤬 I'm calling The Terminator, The Punisher & The Predator‼️ 😤
@kathymisuraca5047
@kathymisuraca5047 Ай бұрын
Where's dexter when we need him...for so many things?
@GigMaresh
@GigMaresh Ай бұрын
6 horses . . . Well, she no longer had to feed the dog
@kylezimlich3330
@kylezimlich3330 2 ай бұрын
Remember when Twitter was 120 characters?
@JeremyAndersonBoise
@JeremyAndersonBoise 2 ай бұрын
140, SMS, get it together.
@weaksause6878
@weaksause6878 2 ай бұрын
Remember when it was called Twitter?
@ArieiDelmonte
@ArieiDelmonte 2 ай бұрын
​@@weaksause6878It kind of still is. I have yet to see any mention of it without (formerly Twitter) attached
@VedaSay
@VedaSay 2 ай бұрын
"It still is unless you pay up!" hear this with Elom rubbing hands and grinning!
@cheeseonyomama
@cheeseonyomama 2 ай бұрын
Lol Me: "you know back in the day we couldn't go on the internet if someone was on the house phone." Kids: "you couldn't...what? What's a house phone?" 🤣
@BookNerd4Music
@BookNerd4Music 2 ай бұрын
Calling my parents after 9pm when i moved away LOL and having to account for the time difference!
@alisaurus4224
@alisaurus4224 2 ай бұрын
It’s 5pm HERE but it’s still 3pm THERE
@amarbyrd2520
@amarbyrd2520 2 ай бұрын
THE TIME DIFFERENCE
@tamiausten873
@tamiausten873 2 ай бұрын
First time I'm able to comment before a hundred people 😂😂😂 this channel is too viral 😂😂. I'm in Nigeria so I'm awake at midnight even though I have exams at 11am 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. Josh is worth it ❤
@vivianjones9749
@vivianjones9749 2 ай бұрын
Good luck on your exams
@angelarutherford1840
@angelarutherford1840 2 ай бұрын
The minutes on the phone had me dying. Once my car blew a tire on the way to get my kids from school, my phone had no reception, and when I asked the first person who stopped if I could use their phone to call my kids school and let them know, they hesitated and asked how short I could keep it because they didn’t have a lot of minutes. 😂
@christianreid3184
@christianreid3184 2 ай бұрын
I watch weekly and just realized I never subbed. I'm fixing that right now
@markruffalo8761
@markruffalo8761 2 ай бұрын
Holy shit me too thanks
@nophilter
@nophilter 2 ай бұрын
Same. Good looking out, Chris! Thanks.
@sicarianduraznac
@sicarianduraznac 2 ай бұрын
Checked and same. Fixed now.
@AlanPhillips-ms5wz
@AlanPhillips-ms5wz 2 ай бұрын
I fixed it right now as well
@Matt-pz4we
@Matt-pz4we 2 ай бұрын
Wow, that's a whole group of people that actually could use the "remember to like and subscribe" line on every video lol.
@darrylhall9503
@darrylhall9503 2 ай бұрын
Josh Johnson deserve way more props than he gets. He's very clever, so funny 🤣
@triceyg2014
@triceyg2014 2 ай бұрын
"It'll just take a minute.." was absolutely DIABOLICAL! 😈🤣🤣🤣🤣
@masternoble
@masternoble 2 ай бұрын
Commander for president 2024
@neek_02
@neek_02 2 ай бұрын
The fact that I automatically "like" every video before even pressing play 😄 It's an automatic yes for me!
@elizabethwahlborg5954
@elizabethwahlborg5954 2 ай бұрын
Josh is hysterical! My favorite line was the one of putting Kristi Noem in a room with Biden's dog (Commander is a german shepherd who keeps biting people).
@RamblyBear
@RamblyBear 2 ай бұрын
The text message pricing is even crazier when you find out that the cost to the cell companies on texts was static. So whether one solo person sent a text or the entire customer base was lit up texting all day, the cost to the cell provider was identical.
@bevwest7428
@bevwest7428 2 ай бұрын
“Biden’s dog!” Hilarious Josh !
@yourmomisvaxxed5570
@yourmomisvaxxed5570 2 ай бұрын
Remember when a company that only charged per text sent was a great deal-because other companies charged to send *and* receive a text?😅
@Andthebeetgoeson
@Andthebeetgoeson 2 ай бұрын
Those tracfones back in the day charged crazy amount of mins for text messages. It was definitely a hustle.
@MustertheBrohirrim
@MustertheBrohirrim 2 ай бұрын
Topical and naturally funny. What a class act.
@nemothenobody7859
@nemothenobody7859 2 ай бұрын
This video cost me 17 minutes. Great routine, sir.
@lyvedits
@lyvedits 2 ай бұрын
4:20 You can faintly hear a woman add "goats" onto the list HAHAHA
@lynnhettrick7588
@lynnhettrick7588 2 ай бұрын
Yes! Thanks for pointing that out!
@msays1275
@msays1275 2 ай бұрын
I remember "minutes"...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Oonagh72
@Oonagh72 2 ай бұрын
“It’ll only take a minute” would be the premise of a great AI movie
@jeffreysherman8224
@jeffreysherman8224 2 ай бұрын
That movie would SLAP right now! All us old heads would remember and be terrified! The new generation would be fascinated and it would be a great addition to the gen z "vintage" trend that's going around. Young kids and teens have house phones on their wall in their room that aren't even plugged in because they want the aesthetic of a 90s movie. A horror movie about the time of limited use cell phones would be a hit!
@ShamirYukno
@ShamirYukno 2 ай бұрын
"Your phones didn't use to be loose like that". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@robynvanhorn
@robynvanhorn 2 ай бұрын
I know 😂🤣
@BELLABARBIE420
@BELLABARBIE420 2 ай бұрын
I remember when phones didn’t use to be loose like that 😂 I remember my first pager conversation. My best friend had a phone (prior to texting) & I had a pager😂😂😂
@calvinjohnson4276
@calvinjohnson4276 2 ай бұрын
I remember when you paid for minutes, text messages, free after 9pm and free on weekends.
@Hellbunnyfelicia
@Hellbunnyfelicia 2 ай бұрын
That’s facts. I haven’t explained the ‘minutes’ situation to a younger person yet! 😂
@triaxon3791
@triaxon3791 2 ай бұрын
I just discovered Josh, and I love him. I'm a huge fan of standup, and right off the bat, I feel like he's put there with the best. He's got heart, and philosophy, and isn't cruel, which is very rare in the standup world of the greats.. I've read he's been doing 15 minutes every week or so? Like Louis CK!!... amazingly positive dude! Go Josh!!! Gr8! Peace ☮💜Love
@ariaharies3594
@ariaharies3594 2 ай бұрын
Josh single handedly proves every week you can be hilarious without punching down.
@oreo5850
@oreo5850 2 ай бұрын
over 100 people are tuning in to see this every minute for the first 50 plus minutes
@vivid3605
@vivid3605 2 ай бұрын
I just wanted to say that the video description for every set is So Thoughtful and Insightful. I truly appreciate that.
@quantumkitty128
@quantumkitty128 2 ай бұрын
That whole bit about the phones and the texts and the minutes...so my family and I went on vacation one summer when I was a teenager and my Nokia Brick had AIM on it...but they counted as texts, and we didn't have unlimited texting. In a two week vacation with my family I racked up a thousand dollar phone bill instant messaging my friends 🤦‍♀
@civetcawfee
@civetcawfee 2 ай бұрын
Sometimes, I experience a wistful loss when randomly recalling AIM. I only used it on my computer, so the memory doesn't stand out as much as this excellent example 🏅
@verolawson3898
@verolawson3898 2 ай бұрын
Oh nooooo 😯😭🙈
@laurafordemocracy
@laurafordemocracy 2 ай бұрын
Free minutes between 9 pm and 7 am! I remember watching the clock run down from 8:57 pm, 8:58 pm, 8:59 pm...
@TrueAmericanEnglish
@TrueAmericanEnglish 2 ай бұрын
the "next level crazy" audience voice at 2:50 had me DEAD 🤣🤣🤣
@lynnhettrick7588
@lynnhettrick7588 2 ай бұрын
😂
@Lady.Thirteen
@Lady.Thirteen 2 ай бұрын
This is the reason Millenials and Gen X don’t understand “blowing up” people’s phones. That would have been expensive af in the early days. That’s rich people texting 😂
@djccrider
@djccrider 2 ай бұрын
Your comedic delivery and timing are really on point! You are hilarious!
@JackSears95
@JackSears95 2 ай бұрын
God, explaining dial up internet really feels like explaining something from 1805, like the internet came through the phone jack in the wall and you couldn’t use the phone and use internet at the same time, if you picked up the phone while someone was online the phone would scream at you in computer and it was so slow, literally taking minutes for a single image to unfurl across the page like a god damn scroll dipped in molasses. Oh and there was no WiFi, you had to be plugged into the wall, and most people had the one and only computer in the house in the living room so everyone could see what you were doing. Truly, medieval shit.
@allbyhmsf9878
@allbyhmsf9878 2 ай бұрын
Why are Josh's beats so good? Damn this is a vibe
@featheredserpentartmedia5315
@featheredserpentartmedia5315 2 ай бұрын
We are blessed for getting 2 vids this week, I can't wait to see you in Denver this July.
@sarahbleckman5199
@sarahbleckman5199 2 ай бұрын
I remember my mom making me pay when I ran up the long distance bill in the 90s
@MsJellyBellyLove
@MsJellyBellyLove 2 ай бұрын
Yup. Any long distance calls I made to friends who weren't family was marked by dad and I had to pay.
@dshepherd107
@dshepherd107 2 ай бұрын
I won’t say what I’d do to someone who I saw do that. As to who would tell this story; a sociopath would. She had no clue it would be taken negatively bc she doesn’t feel for anyone but herself. Literally. That’s why she told it, & that’s why she told it the way she told it. She assumed everyone would see it like she did. No clue that it was horrifying & downright psychopathic
@Infodumptruck
@Infodumptruck 2 ай бұрын
We need to talk about psychopaths among us more often
@williamcrowe2576
@williamcrowe2576 2 ай бұрын
I dig where you're coming from about texting and having to pay for minutes. I had a flip phone for most of my life and can remember having to put money on a card and then having to go to a website to transfer the money from the card to my phone just so I have more time for calls.
@MsJellyBellyLove
@MsJellyBellyLove 2 ай бұрын
I use a flip 'burner' phone when I go out, in case I need a taxi. I don't have a smart phone. The yearly cost for unlimited texting/calling both ways is roughly $150. It's easy for me to do this b/c my job is in the building I also reside in, so I understand I'm very lucky I don't need a smart phone.
@GiftsbyChosen
@GiftsbyChosen 2 ай бұрын
You truly took me back to the cell phone days😂 Cingular and Suncom after 5 or 7pm. We couldn't wait to call everyone 😂😂
@dianewilliams844
@dianewilliams844 2 ай бұрын
Love your creativity, it's inspiring!
@bananascoaster1243
@bananascoaster1243 2 ай бұрын
It was 9pm for me sir lol.
@bluntrapture
@bluntrapture 2 ай бұрын
There was even a time when there was no internet or cellphones. If there was a TV show on, you'd have to be at home at a certain time to watch it. Phones were just used for talking to people.
@kellytrimble7019
@kellytrimble7019 2 ай бұрын
There were pay phones & landlines when I was a kid😂 I’ve seen ALLL this evolve. Charged for long distance calls(10 miles from your house) to being able to text to other countries! For a flat rate 😂
@dubginkxx
@dubginkxx 2 ай бұрын
When my phone was out of minutes...i told people to text me and i would call back somehow....Pager Mode😂
@o.b.7217
@o.b.7217 2 ай бұрын
24 text messages/day...1 message/hour. You *can* send them all in one hour - but then you've got no message left for the other 23 hours of the day. Would make people think again. "Is, what I want to send, *really* important enough, to waste one of my 24 messages?" The answer in 99% of all cases would be a resounding: "heck, no!"
@indychapman
@indychapman 2 ай бұрын
I was sooooo waiting for Commander to come into this story!!
@Madcapredcap
@Madcapredcap 2 ай бұрын
I had no idea how much phone companies were ripping people off
@JanelReliford
@JanelReliford 2 ай бұрын
5:50 Me watching this remembering pagers and cassette tapes, and when mom threw away the dial phone for her new digital phone, with the voicemail built into the phone and when the flip phone was just something on Star Trek. GenX, a lot of technology has happened in just 40 years.🤭 #GenXWatchingMillennials talk like they are old, while laughing 😂
@josiechaney9010
@josiechaney9010 2 ай бұрын
8-track tapes
@JanelReliford
@JanelReliford Ай бұрын
@josiechaney9010 that was a little bit before me, but I had heard about it. I just told my mom and dad a lot of technology has happened in your lifetime hasn't it? And there's still more technology coming out faster and faster by the minute. We've got technology creating technology now. Will be living The Jetsons life, before I reach my 70s. In fact we got everything to live a Jetsons life. It's just not coming yet among everyday people to have robots as maids and butlers, flying self-driving cars, high-rise buildings, with cars parked in the air 😆
@lady2cherish
@lady2cherish 2 ай бұрын
Ahh man your comedy gives me life. Every now and then something really good comes around during a generation and you sir are one of those things 💯
@NickEn816
@NickEn816 2 ай бұрын
I remember that one time I went way over when I started paying my bill. Never again.
@KathyPamela
@KathyPamela 2 ай бұрын
You're a natural on camera, keep shining!
@TrishC5280
@TrishC5280 2 ай бұрын
Reservations are sovereign nations 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
@Tieaga
@Tieaga 2 ай бұрын
I had Sprint so I could have a set number of minutes and a set number of texts. I didn't talk much but I'd text and every now and then I'd run out of texts and they were 50¢ a piece after that. I was mad the first time my phone bill was an extra $20
@christelalouis-jeune3062
@christelalouis-jeune3062 2 ай бұрын
4:32- That's going to be an AWKWARD conversation. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@ashcraft555
@ashcraft555 2 ай бұрын
We used to send a bunch of texts to people we were grumpy at so that they would get charged a ton of minutes for nothing.
@wtfschmuck
@wtfschmuck 2 ай бұрын
Commenting for the algorithm
@idek1433
@idek1433 2 ай бұрын
My ex has that read settings on. we have had the same phones I never told her it's a setting that can be turned off. Nor will I ever.
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