This was so accurate that I had to pause the video for a moment because I was getting flashbacks from my own relationships when I was young. The analysis of the letter and the advice is legit. This was my youth and you really can heal. I watch these videos, not because I still have relationships like this, but to understand why I was in relationships like this. If you work hard you can find healthy love and you don't have to hide from people forever. Boundaries ✊

The first red flag I saw was it just all went too fast. And I'm not judging the person because I've been through this too. They immediately became lovers. Hmmm... In my life the easiest way I got hurt was rushing into things way way way too fast. Again I state this with much empathy.

I am just at the beginning, but the word Charming stands out, a common denominator of these relationships. Charming often equals manipulation. Think about it you’re being charmed, put under a spell. Someone just attacked me online for pointing this out yet it is a known fact, and some thing that Domestic Violence shelters worn to be wary of. Charm.

I relate to this so much from my younger years. The buying gifts triggered a memory of me buying a really expensive gift for a boyfriend while we were having so many issues. We went back and forth with breaking up and getting back together far more than this letter writer but it's the same idea. The intermittent reinforcement is something my father did to me. So my attachment style is really a mess still. Listening to this advice makes me want a life do over so much, with the knowledge that I have now.

God is my safe place praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all

"If you want to know how a relationship is take a trip " so true! I did that with a boyfriend who was very much a narcissist , trauma bond and we broke up. What a surprise!! We went camping in the middle of no where and it ended with me calling the cops on him because he was verbally abusive. It was so painful. It wasn't working out and I kept trying to make it. I know how it is wanting to go back to that person even though it ended on such bad terms. I've went back to exs who have been emotionally and physically abusive on multiple occasions and I survived it all and now have more respect for myself. I'm so glad I moved on from that person because I deserve a relationship with someone who is emotionally avaliable and has empathy for me. A chapter of my life ended after that relationship and it was actually the beginning for me recovering from my alcoholism and finding a much more healthy relationship where for once in my life that person is showing me empathy.

Crappy Fairy... You are actually a “Compassionate and Caring Angel.” 🥰

this video came out last week on the same day i left my toxic relationship, thanks fairy

This is everything I needed to hear right now. Sitting through it felt like a gut punch, but I needed to hear it. Thank you.

We would appreciate it deeply if anyone could pray for us our 12 year old daughter Candice living with Chronic congestive heart failure passed away may 30 peacefully in her sleep she is with the Lord we are all devastated we desperately need your prayers please pray for peace and comfort with God's love conquers all amen we lost our first daughter Angel at 15 years old in 2018 peacefully in her sleep she had Ms this is very tough we are grateful to God for two wonderful daughters and we will be altogether again praying for everyone everyday God bless you all

I’m almost 44 and Still having these relationships. When will I grow out of this?!! My year and a half long relationship just ended last week. I related to this so much it was as if I wrote in, accept mine sounds like there was more toxicity and craziness. He was also lying to me the entire relationship and then even cheated on me at the end. He always turned everything on me like it was all my fault. He called me every name in the book when he was mad or triggered. The funny thing about this was that every name he called me or the things he said I did, like gaslight, manipulate, dictate, and lie for example was always the stuff he did and I didn’t. I never lied to him, but he never believed me. He mirrored all my good traits so that I would fall in love with him and stay. But that was never him. He would show me his true self when he was mad. He would turn into a totally different person when he let his true self take over. I felt so confused the entire time, it was as if he was trying to switch rolls and identities with me. He was mirroring me and then getting mad at me for the terrible stuff he does or is. It was so difficult and weird to navigate that. Especially when I thought I could convince him of reality, but I never could. I need help. I hate that I keep trying to hold on to crumbs and basically nothing. No respect or trust, which are supposed to be my two major values and deal breakers. Why do I keep talking myself into staying with these boys? My childhood trauma has ruined my life and still continues to do so. I want to break free before it’s too late. Like it’s already getting close to becoming. Ugh! 😢

This was so sad to hear about :/ I experienced kind of similar when I was 18-20. Never got violent but just a tumultuous on/off situationship where I was constantly disrespected and de-valued but was desperate to get him back everytime he ghosted me. After those two years, he ended up wanting to get serious and into a committed relationship. We did and a month in I realized we didn’t have much in common, I stayed with him for a year and a half, it was super toxic, and then left him after a year and a half. I still romanticize it in some ways. 4 years after I left him, and even now that he’s been with his current girlfriend longer than we were together. I just wonder what could have been. I know it’s my cptsd, though, so I don’t act on it anymore.

I feel like there's a major part left out of this story. Like you said, no one changes the locks unless there's a major threat.

it's very apparent to strangers listening to this relationship that this person is right to walk away-all the way. and listening further to the story, this is a very youngish-type of person who might be learning about reltionships. i hear her as having many issues and she might have to examine her own motives etc. it's often really hard to leave people but eventually,when you do leave a bad relationship you realize that was the right thing to do!

Lucky girl. 20 + years together with my trauma bond and just learning he won’t ever make me happy or content . I have to make myself those things and I don’t like it! Having hard time taking responsibility for my own happiness in the face of a hypercritical avoidant partner.

Not to say that he isn’t traumatized/etc, and traumatized people can definitely be abusive as well, but I do think for her sake a lot of us who are recently out of a traumatic relationship or haven’t been able to process it yet will paint ourselves as the villain, feel crazy (which is a telltale signal of being gaslit), completely blame ourselves, and not realize that anything the other person did was so wrong (even if it was abuse.) So just for perspective. Maybe Hannah look up the Power and Control Wheel and see if he fits any of it

Wow, I could so much relate to this! It’s almost painful. Love the great advices, I wish I had Crappy Childhood Fairy around when I was younger…

Perfect timing once again. These tantrums are impossible to deal with and super super triggering. But I just hold on. So over it

This is so true 😢, because of my past relationship I've develop disorganized attachment style from anxious attachment. After having a relationship with my ex, I have this guy who was my bestfriend and I became totally both anxious and avoidant to him 💔 when problem arises. Even not just in friendships, even in my classmates I developed this fear to tell the truth and be my vulnerable self maybe because due to the trauma I had with my ex 😢. After we broke up, she ranted to me and says a lot of words that made me guilty. I was the one who broke up because she ghosted me for 3 weeks and I couldn't bare the pain anymore and now she's begging me to go back with her and fix things because she missed me a lot. Now, I am in this position 😢 thinking if this is really worth it to break up with her and I feel miserable as a person to think that I did the right thing 💔.

I wish I'd known this in my late teens. I, like so many others, learnt about these types of relationships the hard way. Thank you for educating people about this.

VERY WELL WRITTEN FOR SUCH A YOUNG WOMAN.....

Why do I always feel guilty and responsible for relationships failing? I have major trust issues and get triggered by specific comments, I told him that. He was understanding at first, then punished me with what I told him is the worst for me (not talking to me, blocking me, hanging up the phone mid sentence, yelling). I understand if he‘d want to break up because it’s heavy. But he has trauma as well and I was so understanding. I blame myself entirely for the end of this relationship, I forgive his yelling, name calling, everything. I feel like if I just wasn’t scared of being abandoned I could’ve ended up in the best relationship… it’s so tough

Great discussion. Here is a word picture of what sex is like before marriage, especially those of us with C-PTSD. It's Sprintime in Idaho. People are buying potting soils for the growing season. Out in the garden, the new, vibrant soil is healthy, attractive, life-giving, and just plain perfect and earthy.. Now, take hands full of that rich soil and throw it on your white carpet. Now it's smelly, dirty, messy, and tracts on everything. The context is everything, something like sex, which is good and healthy in a marriage, is now creating headaches and a whole lot of work to clean up the mess. Don't make a mess! Keep it in its right place.

Sometimes its not about frightening, narcissists are also extremely paranoid. They think everyone's like them. My abuser was like that. Herself violent, envious and sabotage-y, herself thinking everyone wishes the worst for her.

All I have to say is, thank god for you

So relatable. This video brought home concepts for me that I was dancing on the edges of, but oof, its time to come out of denial.

Practical tips , soothing voice and not too much positivity 🙏 love your channel

The bitterest truth is kinder than the sweetest lie.

It seems to me it is a trauma bond and maybe the man may have narcissistic personality disorder because of the cruel things he says and physical abuse andd Hannah had her issues. Maybe they both could heal apart. Maybe it wasn't about love it was about learning. She wants to turn her outcome in childhood around and balance the past. Spend time learning how to love herself. Then choose a partner who has done the work or someone true. Just thoughts. He may have had a dad like that.

been (more or less) the guy of this situation, now I feel traumatized and fear the person could invade my life anytime even If I severed all contacts, i've tried blocking in the past and somehow made it worse since I had a "relapse" years later having felt guilt, then closed again. Now I become totally avoidant and shut down, sometimes I get paranoid and anxiety is keeping me from working. I feel like i'll never heal again (already having my cptsd from emotionally unavailable parents).

I find myself in most of this Story... Dynamik. I had a few lightbulbs glowing over my head during this video. I recognized lots of pattern that have been there in my past relaitionships (the last went for ten years, followed by six years trying to establish some kind of co-parenting with the support of professionals until me and the professionals descidet that's completely fruitless and better for my child to go no contact) Dating again scares the crap out of me, now that I'm not only responseable for me but also for my child and thinking of me splitting my already ... Bonded... resources. Risking to get destabilized emotionally doesn't suit the circumstances. Tinkering a new normal with a third person in my family is a wonderful vision, but too much. I won't do that now. I will start getting some friendships first. Then being alone or not isn't depending on a growing relaitionship. That's too heavy. I would not have the freedom to leave if that's my only contact. So i don't have the freedom to bring myself as the family leader in such a situation. Thank you for this video.

Spot on... I break out in a cold sweat listening to you when you are speaking the truth. Thank you 😊 PS: will you please say the name of the condition when you use an acronym?

I know I might get slammed for putting this comment, because so many throw around the term narcissism these days. But I feel compelled to comment here in case this is the situation. I have studied this topic for seven years now, the topic of emotionally abusive relationships. Another commenter noted something similar, that people that have endured emotional abuse, or narcissistic abuse, use almost the exact same phrases or words that I am hearing in this letter. So I encourage this writer to go and do some research on the cycles of narcissistic abuse, or emotional abuse. I think it will be extremely eye-opening, and will help you so much in understanding what might have happened.

Thank you Crappy Childhood Fairy 🧚‍♀️ You always have good advice!

This letter sounded just like me. Great video. So helpful.

Thank you so much for your work. In my opinion you are ok me of the be est on the internet. Excellent work.

This guy stay with you for two years telling you he don't want to be with you. So creepy. I'm very sorry. Take a pause and work on yourself. As much you want a partner love the love for yourself is much important. If you don't do the work you will retraumatize yourself again and again choosing creappy people who will be mean to you and youll' be weaker and weaker. Believe me. It happened to me, only than didn't exist such a great chanel like this one to educate us ✨

Thanks for the guidance

I can relate with this other person who has been through this kind of crazy shit.

This hits close to home. I feel like a lot of this is on her. People don’t usually just change the locks out of nowhere. And he might not have been keeping her as a place holder. It could of been a situation where he liked her at first and then later on with time, realized that she wasn’t it. That’s not wrong sometimes it takes time to really get to know someone.

Oh, how I wish the internet and the Crappy Childhood Fairy 🧚🏼‍♂️ would have been around when this limerence event happened to me. I think I have detoured my whole life chasing after my trauma bond, attachment wound, avoidant to my anxious attachment style, trigger to my codependency and childhood post traumatic stress disorder partner In dysfunction for over 20+ years. Instead I should have chased meaning in my own life. We are good people. We love each other, but something is always off. I hope to finally fix this dysfunction soon! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I believe. And, I have the Crappy Childhood Fairy 🧚🏼‍♂️ to thank for a lot of positive change in myself. I just know that if I had this information sooner, things wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

This helped me so much. Please pray for me Anna, I feel somehow it'll help. I am often sad and afraid and feel like I will not make it in life on bad days. I am scared of men and how they dangle invalodation and hate for women who wanna do something with their lives.

Signs red flags i ignored: _Unavailable except when he needs something from me _ he criticised me a lot ofc rarely saw my positive things _ he called me needy naggy when i complained abt his unavailability _ He took a long time to respond _ doesnt initiate contact _ silent treatment for silliest arguments where i had to beg even when it was his mistake _ he was cold _ never initiated a discussion _ verbally abusive passive agressive _ never felt seen heard or loved _ felt used _ felt never enough not into me cant stand me _ couldnt wait for me yo sleep _ never shown me love true real love I finally realised now that you instead of complaining and asking for more i should have just left. I didnt leave bcz i wanted to work it with him. I was blind to the fact that he was indifferent towards me that he had zero feelings for me , that I was just a stitch to him and I never mattered. We can't force people to want us . We just have to accept it and leave

This exact same thing happened to me at 19. Moved in together after a month due to my Mom throwing me out.Exactly the same. He began criticizing me after a couple of weeks, everything from my head to my toes. I frantically tried to find a foothold on the relationship even though I no longer liked him. I couldn't find it and I couldn't face being dumped so I decided the perfect answer was to have a baby. :(

Sounds like my last 2 relationships. I was married once for thirty four years, but then he passed away in 2015. I've been married twice since then. In each marriage only lasted one year and then both ended very painfully. Still trying to understand the dynamic of it all. I think your videos are helping.

Good video.. Health love is possible..I was once in her position. She should move on..and she will find health love when she least expects..health love doesn't keep you guessing

Wow..

A monogamous relationship is different from a committed relationship? Can u explain more of that?

100 percent

Is the content of your videos available somewhere for me to read? I really absorb information better by reading. Thanks!

0:30 22:00 26:00

Can you put music in your videos? It would be soothing listening to your words with nice music in the background. I’m being loving towards them then they get critical. I will address the issues I have but it falls on death ears. Until I eventually walk away. Am I entertaining the wrong men? How do they go from loving to critical of me while I’m accepting of them and their flaws? Should I be more critical and sensitive to their flaws? I thought we should accept and support others as they grow. I’m so confused.

You know what on second thought. It’s time the pull the kid gloves off! A lot of this is straight up her fault! She’s borderline stalking him. Causing drama, not respecting his boundaries and yet acting like the victim! I actually feel sorry for him! Smh

After listening to this, I feel bad that I have PTSD. Like I’m the one who will bring bad dynamic to the relationship. Everyone will want to avoid dating someone with PTSD then if they want to have a healthy relationship. I’m unlovable 😞

I think behind what she's saying here we leave out the part about masculine and fem sides and core wounds the guy I'm seeing has a mother wound she was in her masculine being a single mother in turn somehow it played out in him he makes everyone fem his enemy on a subconsiuos level. He can't help it.. it's more then that the instant attaction is your souls recognition in each other of your core wounds your beliefs around them subconsiuos ones. Thats y you clicked . It's more than a domomine release. I think. If we live in a mirrored reality. Think about it if what's being reflected back to you is pain. It's happening to reflect a wound a belief that you have in yourself. If you don't think so or see how y it's revelant to you. That's not a surprise it's subconsiuos . Meaning beliefs you don't know you have . And it's why it's happening it's a reflection showing you a wound to bring it up so you can now heal it not to reinjure you. Nobody is looking at the things happening around them relevantly. It's not about the other person . No matter what he's doing or how you feel about them it's not about the other person it's about you. You have to follow the Feeling your beliefs in that feeling for exp. In my last relationship the over all theme I was being shown was I didn't matter. He made me feel like I didnt matter. Feel that back to it was stemming off my core belief left by my mother wound in that I don't matter my mom couldn't take crying and would make you stop wjich subconsiuosly told me my feelings don't matter. So somehow my core mother wound amd his were a vibrational match. And your soul recognized in there soul that he will bring you exp that will reflect your core subconsiuuos beliefs. To change your exoeriences look within find out your subconsios beliefs by following when your triggered. By what why what's the underlying beliefs. Its a reflection of you wounds in you ok well what do you do with that ? It wasn't until recently it did me any good Not just stop seeing him keep going within yourself If you dont the next and the next will just reflect the same . Heal all you want if you dont find a way to get to your core beliefs subconsiuos beliefs all you will be a vibrational match to is different versions of the same thing trust me it's true. Take all the dating courses you want and I'm sure she has lots of valuable information in there to learn but I'm telling you this is the key that everyone's searching for !! This is why. This is how. This is what's real for not just me . For everyone this is the world we live in this is how why these things happen at this point it could even be a generational thing not even your subconsiuos beliefs they are finding that we hold 14 generations of memory on a cellular level !! Think about all the mass slaughters wars starvation illness loss of loved ones entire families slaughtered 14 generations would of exp that's alot of pain pain of living your whole life not in alignment with who you are because of society not acceptance of it and fear of being shunned you kept quiet . Fear of taboo around our sexual nature and around money and our home values all mixed up so bad that now to keep a roof over your head you literally have to work three jobs so your never even in the house your working so hard for and the kicker is it's not even yours it's someone else's so what are we all doing? What is this reflecting to us that we need to acknowledge to heal and release it. That's what goin on here. Give me a thumbs up if you agree . Also on a larger pic the guys that had people enslaved hundred thousand of yrs. Ago still are ts just nobody knows it anymore we. Are working three jobs to make them rich . It's all making a billionaire richer . That's what we're doing nothing's changed . What's that reflecting back to a wound a beleif in us that need to be healed? I think on a collective level that's a real good question don't you? That's the real question. I dare you to think bigger. Not be so dismissive of what people are trying to show you. It's all you. If it's me then figure out the rules by going in you find the rules will change also keep your eye on the the planets are doing not to get sideswiped with other changing rules. Just when you figure it out the rules change. Is that a trauma wound to ? Maybe. But I think this is way more fun plus you get to heal the world . No but really there's way more happening on a collective level than anybody realizes . Im rambling now will still there . I dismissed the whole starseed thing as some victim thing to better cope cuz I mean take my life all that s happened I'm this Brocken sad little nothing or I'm here answering a call to save the world and have super powers . It's not. Hard choice but I think this was brought forth to show us when we change our beliefs around who we are when we change the story we tell ourselves. Thats when we find our power. Our mission àmd our reason for being here or at least that's when I felt I found mine altho I realized I've always known I just didn't believe it until now. I know it was my victim mentallity talking but I used to grow frustrated with people because when you get upset they tell you it's gonna be ok. I thought nothing ever has been what makes them think that. It was like if you couldn't be consoled by it's gonna be ok they got nothing. And that pissed me off. I just wanted someone to say it's not gonna be ok and that be ok. What was people's deal with that I felt like I was disrupting society with my mom belief in it being ok in a Way. Anyways I'm telling you all this because at my core I want to show up for people in a way that matters . And not just with a it's gonna be ok but with some real answers to whats this all happening for it's not a theory it's a fact it's science proven by men like Einstein ok. Again a theory I suppose but one made by some of the smartest people ever to have lived . And as close as I think possible to get at for now. All I got soon more . Sorry bad spelling poor edit bad phone . To much to get out for you for me. Just change your perspective on how you view others think about it as all you look at what's the theme the belief behind what the feeling is underlying the exp. If anyone writes for a living I'd love to hire someone to put this all together for book or online form . Or an intern looking for content for the exp of hmu . Am I aloud to say things like that here ? If this lady reads this she probably doesn't like me very much I'm sorry lady It wasn't intentional just what came up in me when I watch this it is helpful content . Just feel like the point is continuley going completely unnoticed by everyone and it's my mission to change that. Any way I can . For who is ready to hear it. May this find you . Thanks for reading.

When people have a ton of emotional pain they will look under any rock, open any bottle or swallow anything to get relief. I am wondering since you haven't said you felt that way about alcohol that are you valid? I get you are trying to help people but if you can't understand why people are doing something like drinking to escape pain then how really how can you help?

More or less my situation last year.. he wants to restart the relationship again 😅 but im not sure

He is a covert narcissist 100%

Hanna the lady is telling you straight forward you can make it without this clown in your life. Capisca

This video only has audio. So we’re in the dark over here

But how to do this when it's a long term relationship of 18 years with a child together? No contact? Right now I can't even leave. After finding out his hidden life years ago I stayed and tried to make it work. It's just caused so much more trauma and damage in every area and his abuse continues. Always promises of getting better, change, healing, long list (the cycle of abuse) and I can't heal being in the same environment that damaged me and I cannot change him. I feel absolutely stuck, so beaten down and low. Hopeless. I don't have a way out, but staying is killing me in every area. He definitely hits my childhood wounds. No question. And he has his own traumas. One of the worst things is that he KNOWS all of this. He's done therapy, groups, courses (even this one!) but never sticks to it long enough to have actual healing. He resorts back to the old harmful coping mechanisms and I pay for that by being here. I am aware of it all, but just can't go...I don't see how. I have chronic illnesses, no financial stability. In a really bad place and have looked at every option I might have. No solution. But there are also all the fears. What keeps me here? I write it all down. I know what my reality is, who he is and what he is capable of (including physical threats and violence besides the long term emotional abuse, cheating, lying, betraying, lashing out, numbing with weed 24/7, avoiding, other addictions, etc) yet I stay. I feel like such an idiot. So stupid. I know, yet stay. I am traumatized by everything beyond words. The pain overwhelming. No matter how much therapy or what I try, it doesn't help when he is able to rip open the wounds daily.

Feedback: more 30 minute talks that are not based on letters would be welcome.

Ok everyone talks about this but no one talks about if the person didn't realize that you have cptsd, and i hurt her with out intention 😔😢😢 and i give her trauma bonding it was not my intention to do that 😔😔 end now I feel like I monster I'm reaching out for help but no one answered😔😔😔 not I've you ferry i sent you and email and I still not get a response 😔😔

I feel like it was a bit harsh and blaming the girl. All of her reaction was caused by trauma.. i felt like it could have been more compassion in evaluting and giving her response

He took all of her belongings and changing the locks, by my interpretation is, keeping her from getting back her things

He sounds like a narcissist to me that took advantage of Her when she was weak.. 😢..

life to hard when my brain is broke 😭sad. not sure why but this was on 666 likes when i watched it LOL

No offense but she sounds highly manipulative and very much focused on her own feelings and perception of the connection rather than recognizing the obvious signs the relationship is over and untangling.

Jesus Christ died for our Sins According to the scriptures and that he was Buried and that he rose again the third day praying for Everyone Everyday God bless you all

Hi! I left this comment on a psychology short on instagram. There was a commenter that told me that what I described sounded like people pleasing behaviors which lead me to your channel, and one of your videos. I would like to know your thoughts. Would you agree with that commenter? Thank you so much!! ‘Hey. Alot of your shorts have really been resonating with me regarding relationships. I feel like whenever I am interested in a man, I change my personality, try to shut down my emotions for them by trying to block them out entirely, change how engage with them from prior to my intimately liking them. I don't completely remake my personality but. Its almost like I cannot act normally? Relaxed? I feel like it ruins every possible relationship I never even had and scares men away even if they initially found me attractive/physically attractive, I always blow it by being too attached or coming off as too interested? I seem to only attract men and keep them attracted enough for them to date me with self confidence issues or something seriously wrong with them where they could not find another partner willing to date them. I dont think I lack self confidence. I just broke up with a man I dated for a year that was in a obsessive ex gf situation where we couldn't move out due to her threatening to end herself if he did late December that also seemed to lack self confidence. What does this mean? What could I be doing wrong? I will tune in to your shorts, hoping youll respond. Thank you. Rain from Hawaii :)’