Glad this resonated! Thanks, Meghan. Dr. C

Yes.me too. Hugs.

I'm with ya. I'm finally healing. Dr. C explains things better than I ever could and it's always spot-on. Affirmation is priceless.

Yep ! Same with me !

Same with me ! I have gotten a lot from watching his vids !

That is the truth...

100% true

I'm sorry sadly this I know.

I replied earlier, but decided to add more. You will be drain emotionally and financially, that is true. But if you're able to separate your emotions from their reality. You are on your way to the beginning of many personal victories. There are two realities in play here. The reality narcy constructs and wants you to believe in. Then there is the actual reality. Where you're a decent fucking person and you can see through their fabricated lies. You have to know with everything you have. Their life and reality is false.

Agreement here.

Whole Spirit I feel your pain. My divorce when through lady week. The past year and a half had been HELL for me financially, everything that can go wrong is and then some. BUT I am free of HIM. That is the best thing that ever happened to me to this day. I pray things get better for me in the future with God's help and intervention. Amen

Yeah, I noticed early on he never asked me questions about myself. I thought that was really weird from like day 1.

well said.

Exactly. Cuz he already knew that you'll never be happy with him, he won't let you go either and this is all he wanted. It's like the stove has hands of its own holding our hands not letting go.

@@mellymellongisland ...author Gary zukov was on Oprah...he was talking to a woman who was healing from a marriage that ended...he talked about using our intuition...he asked her when did she notice that something did not seem right in the relationship...it's funny how looking back we knew it all along...early in the relationship...

I couldn’t breathe after having Covid and recently released from hospital at beginning of pandemic and had scorn heaped on me, a silent accusatory authoritarian narc father, a verbally aggressive usually covert narc mother over zoom because I didn’t support the malignant narc brother who attempted to push a visit on me by his daughter who wanted to learn English in my house. I am 59 and have gone no contact with all of them (actually father passed but I realised only a few months ago that the sister was a covert one as well. ). I can’t believe I waited so long with my hand on the stove but it was just too much to take - all four family members narcs. Father and sister were high powered top execs at multinationals. I should have figured they were ruthless.

Sasha Vann I’ve been dealing with this with my ex. She made me feel so amazing and complete at first just so she could take it all away and break me down. You’re not alone in this painful experience.

"You disrespect me" ..."you offend my manhood"

Simply crazy... and we excused behaviors like this for so long because of wanting harmony and being forgiving... how tiring, this time I’m so done.

You give them basic human kindness and respect. They say "now I'll take a little of that confidence and dignity to boot".

@@JiuJitsuTrashcan exactly the same for me

You’re so lucky

XGEN shocks. Good, you learned, some don't.

Amen!

I recently learned how much suffering That I was enduring in the relationship with a narcissistic person. I felt so sad and used.

Three times over the last 7 years I forgave and believed his charm/ lies/ bovine excrement......truly got to a point in Feb 2021 whilst looking at him laying in bed again and thought " what the hell am I doing with you". It took the third round with him ( 2 1/2 years) to finally see him, understand he was never going to change. Same shit, different me this time. I had to get him out of my home in April and its been hard but I feel so different this time. Blessings to you all. You'll all get there someday. It's 'effing hard...but the future is ours. I'm hurting but look back at all the abuse I endured because he made me feel guilty for not being enough.

R Dawson Yeah. A black eye goes away in a week or two. I’m going to remember the things said to me for the rest of my life.

@@stevenhoog1 Oh God, I do understand you so much...

I cried for two weeks straight and mourned the death of my husband marriage and that was then I fully realized that it was all over Now it’s all about healing and moving forward

It has taken over 5 years for me w/o therapy, and I'm still healing.

Hélas !

They are poor creatures, C G

Yes! But only to the extent you believe them to be true. Listen to yourself and speak kindly to yourself when you catch yourself going down that road. Blessings😘

@@diannamichaels94 I believed them because I was raised by one. Children hear and believe what their parents tell them, about others and about themselves. I believed that I was the horrible, selfish daughter that my narc mother always accused me of, among other horrible words and treatment. I am now gloriously free from all those lies. No more contact!

C G good for you! I know of what you speak! Long road but totally worth taking.

CG-I noticed that they never apologies .Sometimes I wish we could just sit and talk ,I would explain or apologize for everything they think that I have don. ,But that is part of it .I am not sure I ever did anything to hurt them and if I did why not talk it through.Why just be mean to someone your supposed to care about? But never could figure out the reason for the meanness???????

Yes n thanku!

Carita, HOORAY!!! ❤

💝

So happy for you

God bless you take care always

So happy that you are stronger, then you thought you were. May God continue to bless you with strength, and happiness. You are enough.

ME TOO my friend!

Oh YES!!!

@@trishk9322 When Dr C says that....it makes me tear up too!

@@trishk9322 peace to you today Trish. We all are trying to heal....and we will get there

Absolutely refreshing to hear these understanding words of wisdom.

Because....what else are they good at doing? Not much!

A state of constant confusion

They make you think YOU are the crazy one.

It’s their entertainment, doesn’t matter if you are their first born, they toy with you like a bored cat does with a mouse.

Yes, truer words were never spoken!

I cried on many birthdays becauae of my mother. I def know what it's like.

that’s precisely what happened to me. more than once. I’d always stored it inside myself. It never once occurred to me it has happened to others.

And love and kisses to the beautiful aunty who gave me her last 50cents on my 13th bday. I will love that woman forever.

Birthdays and holidays were the worst.

@@annhoopes9262 Every Christmas...Every Birthday...was cause for Narc. rage. And afterwards, we'd be blamed for ruining the day. Every time. As people here keep saying, unless you've lived it, you have no idea...

Perfect! A taste of the ole medicine. Good for you 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Keep on!💪

Oh joy!!! I too had a 34 year marriage, and after no contact - I also experienced no longer having panic attacks, and also slowly remembering an identity I had before I married. I'm so thrilled to read your post and celebrate another "deliverance" !! Warm wishes to you

I’m needing to get out of my 34 year hell. But how? He controls all the money and me! I’m starting to stand my ground and it’s getting ugly as he’s not liking it.

Trying to Survive I wish you the best! I just walked away after I found out about her special friend! Left everything, I figured I have 5 maybe 10 good years left and I’m going to live those years happy and if alone so be it!

@@tryingtosurvive786 Keep plugging forward. Do something for yourself and your future (without him) every day. Take college classes --- people of ALL ages and backgrounds attend college. Don't listen to your narc when he says something negative or tries to convince you that you can't live without him. You CAN! ♥

cloisterene wow! Brilliant observation and emotional solution🙌🏾

Spot on assessment. Guilty as charged. Had no idea what I was going through, until the bitter end, when I started researching, and realized that I was oblivious for way too long.

Quiet an insight. Thankyou

Thank-you that has been so helpful❤️

Bravo !!!! BRAVICIMO !!!!.... My motto / religion / & Creed after seeing Now how 45 years CAN Indeed go fully to others; And in Finding Me when I DIDN'T even KNOW I was Lost..... " ......do no harm & take no s#it..." I'm #1 Always AND I Decide if you can play or NOT 👍✌🙋😀 ... a lesson EXCEPTIONALLY well learned 😗😏😕😟......👣

Richie Shive.. I hope that you are now on the road to recovery and healing xx

Same!

Same here.

I feel like I betrayed myself, so now the work I have to do is...remember who I am...lovable, worthy,valuable.Then, share this with like minded people. GAME ON!!...❤

Richie Shive Yes! Boy do understand what you're saying!

Nice description!

Eloquent beauty in your words and truth

bluenetmarketing.... The way they just discard you like rubbish and like you never existed would have to be one of the most painful experiences of my life. I don't think I'll ever love again and I am happy to be a Child of God.. I want nothing ever again from this damaged world only GOD!

I agree with the others, great description of a narc as predator. So true. I also agree with Dr. Carter that this pain of awareness is what we need to act on our issues that allowed us to stay in these relationships to begin with. I stayed way longer than a healthier person would've. I've been gratefully working on those family of origin issues for a long time. It took me 12 years after I left my ex to come across this npd info and have the aha moment. It was a very painful but so needed wake up call. I was still too naive at the age of 50 about other people and needed to stop with my childish idea that everybody thinks the way I do. They don't. I'm grateful for the pain that woke me up to the realities of life. It was much needed. So now I can keep an eye out for cluster B's. God love them but their nothing but trouble where ever you have to interact with them. I have 2 at work I have to deal with everyday. They are energy vampires. However at the time of great pain I'm not that grateful.

@@brianwalsh1401 They truly are an inch deep and a mile wide. It covers a lot of deficiencies that we don't see at first, until it's too late.

Kay Spence .. I hate to say it but after being married 18 years it took me a good 6 years to really move forward from the evil that my ex unleashed on me - betrayal, pain, deceit, adultery, abuse of every kind, torment and cruelty. Talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing he was not like that before we married (otherwise I wouldn't have married him) because his "mask" was on way too tight to slip, however, towards the "end of our marriage (unbeknowns to me I thought life's not perfect and we'd always weather any storm that came our way) when the mask "was ripped off" it was pure evil indeed and THAT is what took me 6 years to overcome. I found Christ and I am now healed .. thank you God for saving me from so much despair and pain.. I have become the woman GOD wanted me to always be - strong, capable and independent (but very loving still)...

Emily Wheeler spot on Emily spot on its like we being mentally raped or a wore out mental hoar wore out and nothing to show for it

Hi Kay, look up also Zoe on 'live abuse free '. She has also very good tipps. I find her video about meeting narcisstists at thanksgiving or Christmas very helpful. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/raeVmbOH1NzZp4E.html

@Snow Flakes 1 thing I totally disagree with:Trump is absolutely NOT a narcissist!! He is working his ass off to help the Americans to have a better live and to fight the evil and sex/child trafficking!! He did not have to do this as narcissists only care about their own lives and do not care about other lives and have no empathy! President Trump could have easily spent his life enjoying playing golf as a 74 year old gentleman, but he chose to fight for The American people and the world! If you would have done some reserch the you would have discovered that President Trump genuinely is a good man and he has done a lot for people in need ! He did not need to do this enormous challenging job and if you listen to what Liz Crokin has to say about him what he has done for all kinds of people the you would not say that President Trump is a n...President Trump really deserves some RESPECT as the media has relentlessly portrayed him as bad and n person, but you have to understsnd that he speakes in code words to mislead the deep state/democrats/cabal and people do not get this!!

Amen to that.

Denise O,You got a lovely smile 😊!!

Hi Denise,O Your comment really moved me and I pray that God will bring you the comfort and strength that you deserve. I pray that your days will be filled with the happiness and true joy that you deserve. God is there for you remember that.

You get to the place when you say enough is enough the best solution is to get away from this toxic person sign Cynthia Smith

C G .. YES AMEN ... and don't let the door hit them on the way out!! lol

Do it i promise you will end up with better peaceful life

I was married to a narcissist for 28 years. It was horrible. He took my young life. It has been 40+ yrs .... now 68.... and I am still dealing. I would recommend you have a support person. If you don’t it will be as bad or worse. I left my husband and moved to be close to my family and it was just as bad. ... they are all narcissists. I don’t deal with the pain from my ex but now dealing with the pain my family has caused me. That was the most hurtful. I pray you are able to escape and have some support. I never had any. God bless you.

33yrs ..found outvso much at once 😔 long mourning period of heartache...its the toughest thing i have gone threw....gb n hang in there if i found the strength in my health condition...you can do it too...gbu

Walk away ,, Grey Rock!,,,, you will be amazed how fast you’ll feel better !,,,

OMG MY MOTHER JUST SAID “you need me”. Then I distanced from her after thinking about that and all the mean “word curses” she always puts on me. Then I remembered that it was she who pushed me to marry my narcissistic cruel husband. I never realized my mom may be one until now. 😭. But it makes sense

🦋♥️🙏

I recently broke free of a Narcissistic TYRANT. I have no income now and it worries me, BUT.... after 30 YEARS of Physical, Mental, Psychological Abuse, I can BE ME !!

I keep thinking well I will have at least 10 years of 'normal' life.....

I can so much relate to this, Jane Doe. While we can't go back and do it over, at least we can do our best to pass the information to younger people who need it.

You so get it! Dr. C

Beautifully said, Paula!🌷

I agree but I struggle with this. I struggle to internalize the pain and sit and absorb it. It drives me more crazy 😫

That's really a poetic and peaceful release. May you have good days ahead.

That is wonderful!

This is beautifully said and so true for many. Let's be strong and listen to our pain rather than bring it to them to fix. I love that Dr. Carter says we shouldn't expect the ones hurting us to fix us. That's so right on.

Great poem. Well spoken❤

It's not every day you read poetry in KZfaq comments. Beautiful, healing, affirming words. Thank you.

Well said....the age of narcissism is upon us and cruel heartless people abound....

C H they are everywhere

The great news is it won't be like this forever. Bad people will not continue to dominate others and harm them.

Hurt people hurt people.💖

The world is sick and toxic, reeling in pollution and trying to heal.

@selfatrophy , Ha-ha! There is a person in my "friend" group on FB who constantly posts her vacation shots. She's continually on vacation, usually where ever she can get a free meal and overnight. Have a house in Lake Tahoe? She's your BEST friend! In the pictures, she's usually wearing bright red. Someone wrote: You sure do wear a lot of red. Her answer? "That's so that people can spot me better." I'm not kidding. I couldn't make this up!

I feel like I have that narc spider sense now. I like the term.

I learn so much from your post,thank you spider wrestler. I will watch and learn. I also will not start a conversation about me ever again. I don't want people to think I'm a narc.

Sometimes people live in isolation or up in there heads can then pop off about themselves lacking awareness of other.. some of this is simplistic.

So what you're saying is if a person wants to talk about their life lessons and the experiences that brought some awareness to them and wants to share that, you see red flags?

I do know what you mean. I left my narc to only find one at work (H.R.) to replace him. I want to quit but I am so afraid to. I have PTSD from so many of my jobs dealing with narcs. I am in treatment for MDD and PTSD from my jobs. I can even join the #MeToo movement from 2 jobs I have had. The narcs always seem to find me where ever I live.

@Tristan Rey Excuse me? God is not my problem. I love nature and God. Trauma from abusive others has been problem and it's good to get some answers from EXPERTS like Dr. C 👍 I could have easily said the behavior was inhumane rather than ungodly, but what's the damn difference?

I hear you and I also know that the hope will keep us trying. Don’t hope, they can’t and won’t become authentic and they have nothing to give to us or anyone else. I’m so sorry for your hurting.

Think a lot of us are slow learners we were too nice

June Rittmeyer I am 75 and still learning too! We are Slow learners! I am considerate and fail to notice the lack of consideration on the other person. I do believe I am getting smarter though!

We learn along the way :) I hope I'm always learning something new everyday all my life!

It's never to late to learn

This gives me so much hope!

Thank God!

@@treasured.5707I say Amen to that. If not I would of thought I was going mad and probably acted alot differently without having the awareness. And people around me dont understand me when I try to explain it either, tbh honest Im confused and overwelmed by it too, and when I try explaining how it seems and feels like to be narcissticly abused, and their replys would have only made things worse by being unsupportive or not understanding. But everyone here seems to know how it feels and what Im talking about without even too much explaining :D. Like even moreso I see my story in nearly every ytube video I watch! And most peoples experience so similar generally how the narc plays their mindgames etc and the afteraffect to one degree or lesser or more. But unfortunately well intentioned uninformed people say stuff like "it was only a breakup" "get over it" or " see a shrink" - because the experience and how overwhelmed you feel makes no sense to them, when they try to compare it to their own "normal" scenario's etc. So it was a blessing that I spoke to a lady I once met who ran a workshop, whom directed me into researching it, and vualla, I found my story here, and supportive people who get it. Obviously its not enough to help alone recovery, but knowing your not alone and can be understood has absolutely been one of the best support and eye openers in helping myself. So although we take it for granted but these ytubers that put it out there by tackling and breaking it all down and spreading the word helps so much and probably dont know how many lives they helped and saved just by spreading this information! Many blessings to you and healing journey 💕.

It is funny how strangers save you from your family members. I feel like this is a break through! Need to pray about that!!!

@@leahc8347 You are so correct. It feels great to hear someone talk about the abuse that took place. There were no visible bruises. No proof. WE were the crazy ones. WE were mentally drained and exhausted. My body became numb, my heart became numb. It got to the point where my body said...enough...no more...as a coping mechanism. I finally quit talking to my friends. They just DID NOT GET IT!!!! Their advice was . ...well, when he says that ... then maybe your reply should be (blah, blahs, blah). They just didn't get it. Watch Michele Nieves videos. She is really good, also. Good luck to you.

Oh my, this is my story as well. Also had narc husband who has smeared me to two of children and most relatives. My best to you . I just discovered Dr Carter and Dr Ramani and am trying to process and work thru the pain. It helps to have the words and know I'm not alone, but I am 75 and hard to deal with lifetime of narcs and feeling so duped, but hopefully can find joy and move forward. Bless the truth tellers and empathy and scapegoats! And the wonderful educators.

This isn't talked about enough. It's usually the narcissist parent or spouse being discussed. Siblings can often get you alone to abuse, and they usually live longer than the parent. You can't divorce them, but you can try to go no contact. However, they may continue to be in touch with all your relatives throughout your lifetime. It is extremely painful and can remain a major element throughout your entire life.

Tomm C i often thought of a credit card that never was paid when i thought of that relationship

towards the end of the marriage I had nightmares of digging large holes and filling them up with dirt repeatedly I worked all day every day and many times till bedtime…the more I did the more i had to do, he would create more work for me…I couldn’t even rest at night in my sleep due to the nightmares.

Oh I have so may analogies, like how dealing with them is like trying to sweep up hair on a windy day.

Hi Lynda, I'm so thankful the videos helped you avert a disaster. You're why I do this! Thanks for the feedback. Dr. C

Good for you! So nice to hear a good story

❤️🙏🌹Amen 🙏🙏🙏

I came to believe that my Marriage, “Was a Calling From GOD!” Now, I look at it like... “My Calling is OVER!”

...and God bless you, 🙏❤️🌹...

What if... We can Reflect the Divine Nature, as expressed in “2Peter, Ch.1,” and PRAY for them continually. They have a Spirit also, & their Temporal Selves, have Demons & invisible Chains about their necks...Leading them on a Path to Hell! I feel like “We, can Focus & DO GOD’s WORK.” I was really sick, when my EX quit paying Alimony... It took me months to feel better, & I finally got on-line to print-out Court Papers; then, I Decided to PRAY & ASK, W-H-Y, he wasn’t paying Alimony... The Holy Spirit, impressed upon me, that he was going to Die. I prayed Daily, Several times per Day, on my Knees, for weeks. I had NO Contact for years, nor his Family. His Spirit came to me, before he died, & I prayed some More for Him... I Encouraged him to Repent, & Gave him Love... And I believe, that he Did Repent! So, my Misery, in having been Married to him... May have HELPED to save him from a Literal Eternal HELL! “What IF - Having a Narc in our LIFE, is ‘A Calling’ that we Volunteered For?” 🙏🏻💕🕊🍃

You GO, girl!! I'm right there with ya! 40 years for me... You're only as old as you let others convince you that you are... and I'm 25, lol!!

@@rachelhill3838 thank you Rachel.😘💖

You are still young!! If only I knew this at your age. 🥰🥰

@@karenbarella3116 thank you!!

Thank you, Kristi. Dr. C

Well said

I get it, and please remember that it is NOT you. It is him. A NARC is unable to love us the way we deserve to be loved. We never thrive with a NARC, we just exist. I wish you peace, love, and joy.

I was married to one for 8 years. He Love Bombed me before marriage and later was incapable of showing love. He was so selfish. He would rather help a stranger than his own family. After I left, he became a HOARDER and never did get his life in order. He passed last year a lonely man. I sorta felt sorry for him, yet was soo GLAD I got out years ago!.. A NARCISSIST never changes to suit you, they are in it for themselves and will destroy your life!!😱😱

Your pain is right.

Withholding love as a way to control. Excruciating to live through! Maybe you can find ways to get love somewhere else to build some warmth in your bones! And that doesn't mean romantic... Even just being around dogs or people who share a hobby or helping some (kind) elderly person or focusing children without bringing them into it? None of it fixes it but it can bring some relief to help you think!

Well said: We aren't even any friends anymore, bitter but truth and he should bear in his lunatic mind for good.

Yes God is in control 🦋♥️🙏

They sure do a number on us. I cry everyday as well but I am learning that life goes on.

very good

It can be a hard concept to wrap your head around if you were traumatized as a young child by a parent, and then continued in adulthood with a partner who is a narcissist. Believing that you are truly worthy to find that better life for yourself is a big hurdle and the first step, and foreign concept for some to even believe possible or visualize.

@@floridagirl6686 yess, I hear you. It is our first step and it's big! God will meet us where we're at- no matter where that is. I had lost my faith, but when I wanted to die from the pain of all of this-God was there. It's one day at a time, with toxic lonlieness and the trauma bond. God is our peace and understands through it all, for that I am grateful. I am in solitude rn. Believe that life can be beautiful and nurture that belief of healing. peace, and love to you, sis.🌻

@@floridagirl6686 yes that happened to me, I did get a good 2nd husband but my adult kids turned out just like their narcisstic Dad. I have to distance from these kids for my own sanity.

That’s deep insight

I have a similar history. It's been hard to figure out without the wonderful free help from Dr C and a couple of others on KZfaq.

Sick, I’m so sorry.

That's what made me realise I had to fix myself, (rather God fixed me,) but I had no idea!! I was like what are the chances, aaanother one!! We keep having the same types of experiences until we learn. Sometimes I was like 'what is it I have to learn?' The answer was inside myself, I had to change, I am a work in progress!

I understand what you are saying but I don’t think they are attracted to you. There are just so many of them out there to begin with. And narcissists produce more narcissistic children. Not all will be but some might.

My history is very similar. And I agree with what you’re saying. When I get out of this marriage i see myself happy by myself . At least I won’t feel lonely anymore. The way I do now- being and feeling lonely in a marriage is worse than living alone with hope.

Nancy Wright,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

I can relate, these things happened to me cos I was weak and didn't stand up to her. I need to stop wanting her back and start to be angry at her.

Wish I was a survivor. Im trying to just survive right now. Its not easy at all 😕

Amen Amen Amen 💙

Yes Amen 💞

Yes! When you believe what he said. "The Kingdom is *in you*" that's more POWERFUL than most even realize. "Take every thought captive" and peace that surpasses all understanding is yours. Still water restore your soul❤

Right on Gary - we need to believe nothing is too big for our Lord.

Nana820able, Get out. Take the last 20 plus years you have and find a 55 plus house,trailer, apartment and live in peace. I have a dog and a cat and me. Own my home and I have peace, not anything more then what is needed.

@@foxiedogitchypaws7141 peace comes in simple packages. Love comes from the heart. May you enjoy your afterlife as you are a good-hearted person 👍🙂

I feel sad for you that you are sruck with this narc man. Just treat him like a room mate and maybe one day you can break free.

Just keep watching Dr. C. Maybe add Ross Rosenberg to your watch list, he’s also about self love. Dr. C. And Dr Ramani will show you how the misery they inflict is their preferred sport. They cannot will not change. I’m also 62, after decades of banging my head on the same wall, I have the divorce in progress. I can finally breathe again, finally make friends again, finally not worry about what the narc thinks. My health is improving. Even during this Covid isolation, and we are still under the same roof, I feel freer. It takes a few months to get your head around this, but I know you can do it. ( or you wouldn’t be watching this.)

@@victorkroud8839 Victor, you are so right, where there is a will, there is a way......

So pleased. Thanks, Susan. Dr. C

Susan Rozler,I am so happy 😊 for you😊🤙

Martine Hamman,hope you are with a better man cause you are too precious 🌹🌹🌷!

I used to be like Gus, gonna get back there..🤗

in the same boat. didn't want to date when i met them. Was overwhelmed by all the attention. Didn't know how to handle it. I kept telling them they are putting me on a pedestal. Everyone disappoints people they love, sometimes.

Mid 40s, end of a second marriage and I totally resonate. I feel no regrets to wake up to myself. The blame game is over, all the projection and foisting seen through, but not without arduous, at times insane periods of learning about myself in the mirror of narcissism. This need to be respected, to be validated has had me entangled in what I now see is a 'supply trap.' listening to the emotional pain of a lifetime in each crazy making moment has led the way to relationship...to myself. With this, giving away my own power and responsibility dissolves by itself. I am ready to walk away now without a shred of doubt or regret.

Exactly 💯 the same! So thankful 🙏

@@user-ir5ul1ph1c Yes! Learn to Love yourself first. It truly is the most selfless thing you can do. Peace Light and Love

Im mid 40s too.. thank God ive finally learnt the lessons... the rest of my life will be the best of my life

Thanks Gary. You're why I do these videos! Dr. C

Have you looked into "Meetup" Groups? Meetup.com However, realize people are people and there are narcs everywhere you go. Listen to your heart, gut, and mind. Pay attention to those red-flags. Go slow and watch. I am so alone sometimes. I prefer my dogs and solitude. Still healing...

Be very careful as we really do attract these people, even seemingly friendly couples. I've found it better to just be alone.

Hang in there. I’m only a year older than you with the same questions. I just take it one day at a time

Don't start off by thinking you are too old or too damaged. And do think of the possibilities of all kinds of friendship, not necessarily a romantic partner. Make space for that to be a reality, and challenge yourself to pursue it. Search opportunities and groups in your local area first, become a regular in places you enjoy, and of course, nurture any healthy relationships you do have, focusing on your ability to make a contribution to others' lives first. God bless you.

@@Chahlie Yes 🦋♥️🙏

christar 95 I feel your pain. I've been tormented by my narc for over 40 years. I finally went no contact 6 months ago and have never been so free! In the course of my relationship with this narc, I didn't even know about narcissism, and I really did believe that I was responsible for all the issues. Narcs are really good at making you believe that they're perfect and all the problems are your fault. The good news is, once you learn about narcissism, and realize that you're not all the horrible things they've been telling you, you can begin to heal! The best thing you can do, if it's possible is walk away. It takes a lot of guts, but you will be empowered and set free if you take that step. Wishing you all the best and most of all, healing and freedom!!

@@CG-bt7oc what if your environment and people from the job that you've been working has been plotted against you,saying lies ,bad fake things about you and your personality? How do you cope with such big amount of malevolence? Who can stop such ignorant people from further interference and spreading lies?Most of them belongs to immoral greedy society..that is what highly skilled narcissist can do ,it is a shame how people can be so naive to trust them.Every person is known for his deeds, so its not hard to detect who is who.

...I came into realization about 3 years ago as well, I'm 49. Rough ride to say the least, but keep push'n.

@@vesnadjordjevic28 no one can stop an arrogant and evil person. If you know that the accusations against you are false, then hold your chin up. Better yet, I'd you are able to, move on and get another job.

@@CG-bt7oc of course, anyways best way is to leave,interacting and being assertive with evil people change nothing.

My elderly ex has been into drugs all his life .... now at nearly 60 he is into mushrooms 🍄 & DMT ... his outlook on life is not real or normal he now mixes with a younger generation.. who are into this, he is an addict of weed, his whole life is drugs & £££ , he has zero respect for anyone or anything ..... I’m leaving him to his own path .... he was a nasty fowl mouthed, inconsistent nightmare , I am a mother to a beautiful 10 year old who he said he hated ... he lived here in my home for years for free didn’t contribute as he felt entitled.... Time to get on with my life & wait for him no more .... I’ve waited for him for 9 years he has just degenerated over that time into a selfish drug induced mess ! 🙄🙄🙄

H Hh 🙏🏾

H Hh.. That is so sad and I'm sorry you had to endure such hardship at a young age. May God give you strength to get back on your feet and may you find comfort in Him and other kind hearted people in the world. xxx God Bless and stay safe..

@@christinelawrence4315 Thank you for the kind words. I am still alive is only because of God. He gave me the strength to endure the days living with my mother from my 20th to 35th. For the 15 years, I was not happy and depressed everyday, my personality changed (I was raised by my grandparents, I lived with my mother less than 5years before my 20th), I closed up to everyone become an ultra introverted person. I had nightmares about my mother almost every night even after I moved out. But thank God ,He gives me strength everyday. I pray for the recovery. And pray I will have the strength and be strong enough to handle my mother in the future. I am the only child after all. My faith in God doesn't allow me to select an easier route to choose no-contact.

@@HHY-J316 God WILL answer your prayers for He is faithful and all enduring.. He will never forsake you XX Your healing will come in Christ Jesus AMEN xx

H Hh Good for you..Girl! I had a bad situation..but yours was Worse! I am so sorry. You have earned your happiness!

How can we experience joy if we never knew pain :)

I'm glad you're on board. BTW, there is a video called, Recovering Your Worth After Leaving A Narcissist. It's one of my favorites. Keep learning! Dr. C

Thank you, Kathryn. I'm pleased it resonated! Dr. C

Fully support you with what you’ve expressed. Narcissism is rooted in oppressive power and control. It’s gender, class, age, race agnostic. If you’ve personally experienced a narcissist in your life, I’m so sorry. I wish you healing

@@namitaatadw45 Thank you, likewise.

When I googled - Can women be narcissist I was shocked to see the results - because I did not know they could be as society made it seem that it was only MEN that had this flaw. I was glad to find this information.

@@Davo667 Yes sir, as Namita said above, NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) knows no gender, class, age, race, etc. It makes sense when you consider narcissism many times, if not most of the time, is developed in one's childhood years. The narcissists we deal with today, as little children were once victims of verbal, physical, emotional and psychological abuse from their abusive parents/caretakers. Sometimes both! The result? The abused become abusers. You may have heard it this way, "hurt people, hurt people". Boys and girls exposed to that type of destructive and toxic upbringing, will grow to become the men and women they hated to see as a child. It's truly a vicious cycle. Their violent upbringing doesn't justify their actions today, it only helps explain why... 😔🥺😢

Women can be just as bad as men. Anyone who doesn't think so just doesn't know many women. And blessed by that perhaps?! I'm guilty of sometimes saying he, not cuz' I think men are only ones ~ just cuz' ine is a he & it sometimes slips out that way. I'll try to be more aware now...

Gwendolyn Wehage I find that the more demanding, arrogant and impossible someone behaves, the weaker they actually are inside. Just keep walking past them and do all you can to avoid engaging with them.

But always trust your gut too! It's not always easy to access it, esp if one has suppressed it for years, but they say it never lies and can be very self-protective.

So pleased! Dr. C

No amount of money is worth losing your sanity.

Yeppa! I thought the crumbs would turn to bread loaves , I tried to think it was a rough time for them, and with a tiny bit time then the respect would kick in. Never did.

Gut instinct! Enteric nervous system, it's a second brain.

yes they throw crumbs, my Nson calls on birthdays or Xmas but that is it, just ignores me the rest of the year. I text him but he puts no effort out at all. His Dad ignored me also, I have lived this before.

Too much enfasis is placed on relationships. Seems like many women don't feel complete unless there's a man in their lives. Better to be alone in peace than to be with someone who mentally or physically abuses you. You have been deeply hurt. You are not ready to get into another relationship now. Concentrate on building your self esteem. That person was not worthy of your love. Don't give him or anyone the satisfaction of seeing you defeated. How many times have you gone through hardships and bounced back? Your strength will come back again.

Maryanne coan. I wasn't finished with my comment. I accidentally sent it. To conclude: It will be excruciatingly painful in your journey to healing but in end, you will emerge stronger and wiser from what you went through. Learn how to spot the "narcissist" and stay away from people like these. Remember, you have the strength in you to hurdle this. I wish you the best.

@@nmedina7978 exactly it our moms

I'm pleasantly surprised you could still find a copy. Glad it resonates! Dr. C

Praise GOD 💔

My cure for the silent treatment. Put on some music a dance around, sing and at least appear to be delighted. Read and show them you appreciate thr silence....don't let it faze you externally and soon, it won't faze you internally

I promise you will find peace; happiness is up to you. I went 46 years and paid a very high price for leaving, but believe me: Freedom isn't free, but it is so worth it! Best wishes for your future, find yourself and keep safe.

I hope you are doing ok.... best wishes, 🥰🥰

I am so sorry and I do feel your pain. Your life sounds like my life. I’m so glad you got out!! You deserve all the happiness in the world. 💜🦋