Anonymous ... and so sad the way other people, who are meant to care for u and even love you, treat u .

So 100% true......Maybe we were only living in an illusion??? Is desillusion the right way? So many people were broken in their childhood. What can we expect from them? It is all a big cover up, and I am 'glad' in a certain way to have lived this experience of dealing with narcissists. This changed my worldview totally. After 20 years of up and down mental hangover I feel rather OK today, understanding big politics for example much better. This gives you an advantage over others, they think you are smart. But again, not crying bravo for that, it is sad...life is sad.....

Yes, that's true @aonymus, but even if the "hangover" has been lasting for too long so far, that does not mean for us to lose hope in humanity. We can create a new network connecting current and former victims of the toxic behaviour of narcissists by organizing a regular table (in German: Stammtisch) at a café. The vistors can meet there every second Saturday, eat a snack, have a drink and discuss their problems and the new solutions they found in their complicated situations of life during and after this disaster created by the narcissists. Here in Germany and also in Austria + Switzerland, there have been founded such kind of round (or rectangular) tables in many bigger and smaller cities for mutual support of the members. This gives me hope and I am going to create such a place in South-West Saxony, where I have been living after my movement - since the end of 2018. I wish you good luck and new hope in your current complicated situation of life. Kind regards to you - from Anne in Germany

Nora Schellens ditto, there is none righteous no, not one. Thank God there is one who loves us unconditionally.

You are so right! It's a hard pill to swallow.

I so understand. It sucks. I am really struggling, even though I have been separated for six weeks. Thankfully I have a therapist who is helping me through this. Hang in there. You are not alone. ❤

Nobody understands. I am finally trying to tell the truth.. either they don’t believe me or they think I’m being a drama queen

@@Jezebel066 Unless the other person are close up and in person in your relationship with the NARC. They don’t understand the NICE/NASTY you live with. The emotional roller coaster you endured. DO NOT try to convince another person of what you’re experiencing. They will NOT UNDERSTAND 🤷‍♂️ Just smile at them when they pass judgement on you. Do a little dance at your liberation and go on to healing yourself. 🙌🏼 The narc was there to help you to learn MORE SELF LOVE. Thank them with a smile. Romans 8:28 ALL IS TOGETHER WORKING FOR YOUR GOOD🙏🏼🥰

​@@sheilaprice1942 I wasn't aware there was/is a narcissist in my family till about a year ago. I'm 83 years old and it was very difficult for a few months but I have accepted the fact now. I'm going to one of our daughter's and son in law's home for awhile. I'm not sure how long I'll be there. I'm going to remember Roman's 8:'28. Thanks so much!!

@@Jezebel066 I just had someone tell me “maybe they just changed their mind about the relationship” after I discovered I was being lied to and manipulated. Uh, no, that’s not someone changing their mind, that’s someone with an agenda. I’d rather have someone end things than keep seeing me while they go shady behind my back any day. Time to change playgrounds...

YES He can! Matthew 11:28 🙏💗

I got some help with that. You have to look at brain exercises that reroute you neuron pathways in your brain. You probably have a trauma bond with him. Look to God first to guide you and check out Quantum psychological therapy. It helps get to that level this stuff has gone to in your mind and body.

God rescued me more than once. Believe, step out. Praying dear

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/aL6bpZmV0tTMfHk.html

Susan Victor yes, it is a process and a mix of back & forth thoughts & emotions😞one thing is for sure there are quite a few of us survivors😊journeying on with less stress & heartache, and hope for a healthy relationship both with our own self & perhaps another individual whom can see, relate, love, & truly be happy with.

@WRH So true. It leaves you feeling degraded, humiliated, shamed, cast off, unloved, and unworthy.

Amen, sister. I wish you strength and peace forever.

"I loved deeply and sacrificed greatly". GOD Bless you in the years to come.

WRH .... be strong and have faith and hope, and as time progresses you will heal. I know truly that horrid feeling of betrayal , and so badly let down. Some people are just takers and others givers. I know which one I wld prefer to be...

@@melissak.8385 I second that move to Wim Hof. I have found him again and it's been great. I have found that my body is capable of releasing the traumas built up in my tissues -- so long as I stay out of its way.

john brown smith right what the hell happened 💥🙏💥 Sickening pups for sure

I wish that I could feel numb...I'm sad and angry and exhausted, I feel weak and sleepy ALL THE TIME

@@onelove269- I felt that way after the numbness wore off.

Yes. I lived in a state of shock and terror my whole life. I feel numb now.

@@onelove269 its very very draining coping with a person who has it..!!!

I totally agree with you Liana

🌟

The growth from dealing with that mess is very revealing! Now there are times when I'm around friends and we see a person with a different outlook or other difference, my reaction now is , something like "well thats their life, their thing". My friends look at me like i just don't care. Lol, that's not it, i just know that its better for me to tend to my own mind and not to get caught up in someone else's.

@@letssee9 I can totally relate to that:) Cheers to a step closer to wisdom🥂

No explanation, why bother?

@@paulclinton6414 This is where I am... Why bother? It'll be the same ole story...

Everything narcs do is pathetic.

I had this happen last week, Defending, gray rock, a safe , good friend 🙁

During a telephone hoover attempt, my narc proclaimed, “We had a lot of good times... I want to remember only just the good times.” My response? “But if we forget the bad times, we don’t learn anything, do we? “CLICK!!! No contact is the best and only way to contentment.

@@MsKK909 Interesting. Mine claims to love me and always will, admits we had many good times, but focuses ALL of his efforts on rewriting history to portray me as the problem while he recounts nothing but his twisted version of events.

@@Nancy-yw1rr Yes! Mine has already left but was making me think he was going to get help so he could come back and heal our family. But there was an event coming up today that involved a very damaging person who we had both agreed we must avoid at all costs. He decided to go. I warned him that he was crossing a line that would make me close the door forever on him, leaving him that side of it, because if he didn't want to keep our family safe I would have to. He phoned me last night and said, "I need to say this. I love you more than anyone or anything on this planet, I really do. You are the most important thing in my life... But I'm going." I said, "How do those things go together? If I am what you say then I'm asking you now, straight, please don't go?" "I'm going." And today he went and I have to stay strong now and take that as the strongest message that it has to be over now and that the hope must stop. It hurt and I was a bit shocked at how much but I think it was the realisation that I had still had hope. And also the mixture of the "I love you more than anything", thrown in with the message "But I disrespect you so much I will put even dangerous people above you and risk even the safety of my family!" And that has put me in shock and pain today. The event he went to was the funeral of a lad who we hadn't seen for 20 years. He was a heroin addict and had not long been out of prison for pushing and dealing. When we knew him years ago he stole from me, stole off my husband's mother, and bankrupted my husband's brother by arranging for his business to be robbed. They took £21000 worth of stock. There was no need for my husband to go and "pay his respects". But what made it dangerous was that this lad's mother used to be my friend and this "friend" had been stabbing me in the back, trying to destroy my life by eg reporting me to the tax for selling some of our old stuff on eBay (they threw it out as being malicious), reporting me and my husband to social services saying I was always on a diet so my kids weren't being fed (I couldn't diet if someone paid me to!),that my husband was an alcoholic, (true but not a roll-around the street one. A bottle of wine a day one), that I was teaching my children at home (true but it's great fun and not illegal here), ....the chap that came to check us said he was putting it down as a malicious complaint as my kids were healthy and happy and we were clearly not doing anything wrong. This "friend" later tricked my husband into having an affair with a horrendous woman (long story) and we barely survived the whole thing but we both swore to never have anything to do with this "friend" again. So going to the funeral of her drug pushing son who had thieved off us all, opening doors of communication again... while telling me I'm more important than anyone and anything...well if that doesn't warrant me ending it fully with him then nothing will. And I don't even care if I won't trust again because it's safer this way! What a horrible day. 😭

@@Samua3 I'm SO sorry! I feel your pain.

@Judy D Amen! 36 yrs I’m right behind you. Hang tough 🙏🏼🥰

20 for me

I can relate! 35 years with a covert narc. I'm sure not over it at the nine month mark

Keep your outlook and balance intact.You will find inner peace (and maybe even forgiveness )to guard carefully. Best wishes to you.

Luv it!!!!!♥️

Yeah, so true!

So trueeee. Lots of my friends & family said you suppose to move on long time ago. I wish if that as easy as just a click definitely moved on so long time ago. Move on from normal ex-boyfriend not as easy as move on from ex-boyfriend narcissist.

@@norfaizahjamal1096 The trauma bonding is unusually strong and the Narc knows how to hurt you from time to time with their devious manipulations.

Bingo, I noticed that as well. It has been 1 year since she said she wanted separation/divorce. Trying to move on or forward is hard, because you realize you have made mistakes too.

I have trouble understanding it too. My fiance's ex was one & I guess there are clues but not until you're deeply involved (married w. Kids)

@@Nina-hk7ub we don't understand narcs because we don't think like a narc....

I think i dated one in the past few years but I kept enough distance. I couldn't figure him out. He got angry often, knew what's best for everyone..lol. my gf's & me called him CT, for Crazy Train. He yelled at me one time too many & said "GET OUT". He had a terrible explosive temper over small things. Perfect because he broke up w me....after learning about these freaks, I see all the things CT did that made zero sense. Completely irrational. Very critical of everyone & paranoid someone was taking advantage of him. Months after he yelled at me to get out , he came by, got drunk & professed love for me. He even cried. I was like, WTF...now I see it was an attempt at love bombing. Didn't fall for it. Couldn't get the SOB out fast enough. My gf's helped me & always reminded me that he was the messed up one, not me. I can see if one has no one to confide in about the narc's actions, they could believe these losers. Especially if one is married with children. I keep learning so I can spot them in other areas of life....so I can avoid them...

Yes it's bloody awful, when we loved them so much and they had no feeling for us

@@muckyguru ...oooh so so true 👍👍👍👍👍depressing big time when you realise over half of your life has gone because you didn't know what narrsarcissum was!!!! Thought he was just a spoilt child with a temper who had tantrums and wanted all his own way ...

Read Psalm 120 thats my mother exact. "Peace" is sth unkown to her.

Corinna Schütt Thanks for that Corinna. Indeed. My ex stepfather was addicted to inciting conflict and just loved being angry all the time, over nothing. He wants to cook food but you’re already using the cooker - harshness and anger coming your way, without even asking how long you’re going to be. It was incessant. My mother and I both asked him to stop being so angry all the time because it was horrible to live with and his response: He chuckled, and smiling said: “But I’m OK. Seriously, I’m OK. It’s not a problem, I’m OK.” Absolutely zero empathy or ability to see the distress, alarm and pain he was causing others - only that as long as he was OK things were fine, and stuff anyone else..... his behaviour has been infinitely worse since. I just thank God he has gone.

@@Corinna_Schuett_GER I'll read that chapter tonight. Thanks Corinna.

Absolutely. Nobody will ever understand what we go through unless they go through it too. Unbelievable these people stay Soo unknown

It is all about Peace no one knows what peace is until you don't have it we must not allow any one too take our identity from us no one can make you feel bad about your self unless we allow them

I see you posted about 1 hour ago. I want to give you a round of applause and encourage you to let us know how it went. You've totally got this!!

I have been through the exact same situation with one of my 3 daughters but trust me I promise the child knows but has to let go of that need for her father to be someone else. She will come back to you I promise as mine came back to me years later and she also now sees her father as who he really is. I will pray for you and your daughter's relationship.

You are a good mother dont allow him to dictate not allow his desperate attempt by temporary lies to turn your child against you to win. It is was extremely difficult as I lived the exact life but you gave her life and she knows I promise she knows who loves her deeply. She just needs this time to try and understand the narcissist who is a surface dweller and lacks the ability, empathy and compassion to just love minus the manipulation and victim mentality. In the end he will not come out the winner. The best thing you could do for you and your daughter is for her to see him for who he is

I'm rooting for you Gena😊🌟💙

The first moment of the journey is so horrifying but it is a thing of beauty.

Exactly my experience. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You've learned more than you think and have alot to share when the time is right❤

Hope you are feeling better...💙💛💚

Yes xx exactly

K. Maciejowska I hear you...

@@ndumi-light yes I do. And I'm really proud of myself where I am now 😊

same but with my whole family. She used every single one of my family members (gaslighting, manipulation, flying monkeys). Then, I learned there was a reason why they let pick themselves by the chief narcissist(my mother), and then I definitely understood I was better off without them.

A lot of his family chose me. A lot of my family chose him, which doesn’t surprise me. A lot of them were his flying monkeys.😂

We suffer so much that sometimes we questioning lives and such....

Even Jesus faced Satan's temptation. The narc will burn, you are are free.

Yes. I get one phone call from the narc and its such an - opportunity to learn how to not freak out. (A skill I have not mastered.) I can panic for hours . . . .

Sage I understand🥺 me too.

Mary Alexandria Mailler ....I was so drained in my relationship that I had a crying panic attack and couldn’t catch my breath. I also dropped to the floor , as my legs just gave way . How toxic he was , sapping my energy day after day after day. It took me five years to get over it , and I’ve never looked back since.

@@sage9836 yeah, there is a lesson, a skill! They love the freak out! Don't give it to them!

It's so good, this opportunity to read others' experiences. I now understand what that feeling was whenever the latest narc in my life called. But I'm so happy to report that I no longer have reason to go into panic mode when he calls. I'm recovering! Hallelujah!

Go girl!

How long does it take? Just separated and although I’m glad to be away from her, I’m still hurting a great deal.

@@jmforeveryoung Congratulations You took the hardest step by walking away! you are brave and strong. Keep going! One step in front of the other. Its hard to say how long it takes - its very specific to how long the abuse happened, what other personal DNA mentally, physically and spiritually. I'm sorry you are going through all this. It does get better. How is your support system - you can't do this alone - supportive friends, therapist? How is your self care?

Denise C My support is there somewhat but I need more. Are there online resources available for this situation? Self care. I’ve been practicing meditation for several years now, that is the biggest part of my self care. I struggle with feeling alone because some of my local friends don’t support me at all or don’t believe she behaves as I described. That seems par for the course though.

@@jmforeveryoung First and foremost! YOUR REALITY IS YOUR REALITY. Would a person be all mixed up inside if they were living with a healthy person? Absolutely NOT! The old saying Street angel house devil... the public mask looks very charming, engaging, loving while the house devil side is quite the opposite. These two masks that your ex was wearing are NOT the same. When no one's looking you see the "real ex". Validation from friends/family may not come - It did not come for me that's okay. I know what I lived through. There is sunshine on the other side. YOU GOT THIS www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201812/self-care-12-ways-take-better-care-yourself -

stay strong it was them NOT you, they are con artist evil manipulators

Please pray for me, because my husband has a ministry and, I feel so guilty for thinking these thoughts about him and his displaying narc attitudes. Sometimes he can be so sweet and Christ like, but at the drop of a hat a reaction to something I say he turns mean. I would make the mistake to defend my words, that only escalated the situation. He uses scripture to try to control me. I want the best for him, I do love him, the nice him, but I think I am being forced to face this. Your scripture helps me. Thank you because I know God directs us in HIS word.

@@shoebill181 Fly away, little bluebird. Many disordered personalities are attracted into ministry, counseling, etc. God does not want anyone to be mistreated, and He says to get away and stay away from bad people.

Since they weaponize sex, it is a form of sexual predation.

It made me laugh after it hit me: i wanted to understand. Well YEP I UNDERSTAND FOR SURE NOW! Good luck to you!

Yes!!

Good for you! You can do this the first steps are the hardest and you did it you WILL thrive! Way to go you

Gillian Hamilton you are amazing,brave,strong. You did not waste your time,look what you learned,look what you were so strong to survive. You did not allow that sick person to sink you! Go you! You are free, you WILL heal. I speak from 29 years of personal experience! 7 years free and happy and single by choice!

No loving understanding ever!

--Yes, it's like using every penny you have to buy that house that was advertised as the deal of the century. You see that the roof is a little crooked, but you buy the house anyway, trusting that you've gotten yourself an excellent find. Then when you move in, everything starts falling apart, because unbeknownst to you, your "dream home" was built atop a sink hole. The seller has disappeared and you can't get your money back. Now, you're left feeling betrayed like a fool--and kicking yourself for ignoring that damned crooked roof!

@@goodgracious6364 exactly how I feel everyday

@@goodgracious6364 wow...👏🏿 Exactly, well said. 🌷

Tonavishoup Sessoms I can absolutely relate to your comment.... I am so hard on myself... I just keep reminding myself that none of this was my fault... I trusted a very disordered individual...I hope you are on your way to some healing.... I struggle daily knowing that my Ex Narc continues to fool so many.... Social media is his playground.... I’m just thankful that I’ve been able to cut him out of my life.... The Hoover attempts now just fall on deaf ears.... His life is one sad existence ... predictable predictable predictable... Everything now is so predictable with him that I now can sit back and see what I couldn’t when he was constantly deluding me with his pathological lying...Take care.... keep your head up day by day healing comes

@@natalietrombetta446 thank you for yr encouraging words! It's just so crazy how this type of behavior is so widespread among ppl these days. It scares me to even try and move forward with another relationship. Reason being is because the guy I'm with didnt expose his true self until 5 years later. That's a long time to be dealing with this type of individual and not know it. What kept me blind was the " I love you's" all day every day. Those words kept me from seeing the true demon I was really dealing with. It's like I was in a state of emotional intoxication 24/7 cause he was so attentive, or so I thought. Plz plz plz beware of the love bombing antics with these ppl. That's where the trap lies... believe me*

Kathee Lucas omg He actually said that she’s fine with you being there I would remind her your also fine with her being stuck with such a loser -- I would not let him get over like that she has to go of all days at the same time as you this is a set up there’s 24 hrs in a day there are 7 days in a week too bad you couldn’t re arrange time but since he did it this way she would get an ear full and then wish her a lot of LUCK 🤣😂🤣😂💥💥❣️

@@caffrey1100 I only would mention that it would do no good if you answer because he will reverse it to you and say that you are the sucker. Do not fall in this trap but stay in your own world, shielding you off emotionally from him.

Kathee Lucas Remember Dr C’s saying “conflict reveals character” this could be a conflicting opportunity to reveal the loving, kind person you are. I know this is hard but this other girl is an innocent unknowing girl about to have her life damaged. She’s probably never heard of narcissism. She’s probably been lured in by charm that will turn to control. You could give her a hug, make her a cup of tea, chat about her family and anything light, apart from the current situation. spend ten minutes loving this person who is going to be hurt. You could say briefly “be careful going forward honey” “make sure you are free to be you and your feelings are listened to” I know this is a tough call but in my experience this breaks down barriers and strengthens you. It also shows her what a lovely person you are. This may not be possible I know, I’m just putting the idea out there, love trumps all! I hope you have a smooth day 😊😊

@@Buttermilk.guitar you are obviously a highly evolved person and this advice is probably some of the best she could receive.

Just realize that house will only remind you of him, and let her have the baggage.

So pleased! Dr. C

Mine too.

This knowledge can change the world. These monsters need to be exposed.

We need to identity and isolate narcs.

@@paulclinton6414 They and their flying monkeys must be left on their own island. I don't mean that literary. I mean isolate them by backing away and leaving their group be. No person needs to expose themselves to the drama that comes with being around them.

Me too, Ruth. Explaining to other family members about my physically, mentally and sexually abusive father and Narc mother turned out to be a waste of time. They just didn’t want to know - especially as my mother promised them money in her Will. They only got a £1,000 each - the going rate on the 30 pieces of silver! So I am alone with my wonderful husband and sons and now I think I am well rid of the superfluous weight.

The same except for I'm 58 and I found out about the roots of my wasted life only 3 years ago and after the rage is gone I feel drained and lost. I have no energy, no motivation. I feel they raped my soul and sucked what was best in me.

Even when they die it doesn't always stop. Narcissistic families cast a long shadow. The guilt and grief are magnified. Hard to leave the toxic ones behind and make a new life of peace, kindness and compassion.

Yes. My narc. husband died recently and my brain feels fried. It's a new pain. PTSD. Deep sorrow, even though he really didn't love me. I was true to myself and to him. I loved him. Only GOD can heal. One day at a time.💔

That's what I'm afraid of. I had to leave my narcissist mother, siblings and the town I was leaving. Three years later and after all the struggle to break free I feel stuck, drained. I think my adrenal glands are dry. I have no energy and I lack motivation to do or care about anything. My witch mom is old and hasn't died yet but I have the feeling that my siblings will try to finish me off. My lifelong nightmare is not over.

@@Lyrielonwind Jesus Christ can heal EVERYTHING! Turn to Him! What I was trying to say by posting about death of a narcissist, it is often the practical and legal outcome (legacy) that is still annoying even if the abuser is dead. But no worries, no looking back! Blessings your way! 🙏💕

Fun Lovin Bloke Same here, I was raised by narc father and my first and second relationship were to women who were incapable of giving and being vulnerable but I still did not make the connection to narciscism. Spent years in 12 step groups and grew a lot. Got remarried again to someone who seemed to be perfect, one year and a half later she started to blame me for everything and played head games and great manipulations. I saw a councilor who specialized in narc issues. She encouraged me to set some boundaries to stop the manipulations. I did so nod got immediate anger, silent treatment and blame. I moved to the other bedroom and a week and a half later she told me to get out of her house because I wasn't being a husband. 3 days later I had everything moved out and filed for divorce. In the 5 months since I've replayed this a thousand times in my head to see if I did a misstep . Videos like this confirm to me I did the right thing. She fits the patterns deeply and is a troubled soul that will probably allways be stuck in this pattern of torment. It's lonely but I am in a pattern of growth and good will come from it.

Ditto all you said!

Wish you the best as I do for myself. Losing a BFF to this stuff is so hurtful, I wonder how could I have been so mistaken about them. Wasted and Empty Love for someone who deserved none of the second chances. I pray for her children who have no idea what their mother truly is.

I got Gus as a rescue, and in my first 6 months with him, he had some serious separation anxiety. He was 10 months old then, and that was 5 years ago. He's a lot more mellow now! Good case example. Dr. C

@@SurvivingNarcissism my dog is a rescue too she was very nervous but 5 years later the sweetest dog you can imagine she is my friend when i am dealing with a hangover sometimes.

@@SurvivingNarcissism I got my rescue (terrier mix ) + my NH paid for her. She's a great blessing. My NH probably thought she'd be a total distraction,so he didnt have to feel so guilty about leaving me with no one faithful, continuously committing adultery behind my back. I'm still in deep pain , as the Christian 64yr virgin monogamous bride of a professed "Christian" high school ( stalker ) classmate, in my faithful (one sided) marriage of 43+yrs.1st learned he was cheating on me nearly 5yrs ago with a married NW ,with a young teen son, no less ( all in debt + successfully after my NH's $).Everyone sees their true color (green for greedy) but my NH, as he choses to ignore the obvious, in favor of her lies. I'd trade all of our $ for him to be faithful, but his many lies make marital happiness impossible for me ,+ I've made a solemn vow of celibacy that I'll never break, as I never have or will break my marriage vow. Anyway, Dr.C.,thank you for your efforts to expose the nasty Narcs. All that's left for me is to endure the huge hurt my NH has put on me,+ go as low contact as I can in my now health declining state,until the Lord Jesus takes me home. I do as much as I can to help others,+ not wallow in my sorrow. Drs diagnosed me with severe depression with anxiety, among several other increasing ailments. That has me on 3 (anti D) meds. My son+his family, plus My dog ,+ the homeless church woman +her 2 cats that I took in,for whom I feed+buy clothes, etc. are plenty of reasons for a gratitude. I gave him many opportunities to repent, but he wont let go of his sin, so he volunteered to leave our home after 2+yrs of saying he'd stop cheating.My now completely broken marriage is giving me greif beyond belief, but if I focus on my trust that God will work all things for good, to us who love HIM most (in Rom.8:28) +endure hard suffering till HIS return, I have hope to get me thru. Others I rescue are just a bonus blessing to the closest relationship that I have thru the Holy Spirit Beloved CHRIST sent to comfort us after HE arose to be our eternal atonement for our repented sin + Father GOD.Enjoy helping others,pet blessings+all , but put your friendship with JESUS first for peace in your soul.♡♡♡ Love to all in JESUS's name.

hahahaha! Yep, he's just kicking back enjoying the good life.

@@SurvivingNarcissism I took in a rescue, too, and he was the best dog ever. Smart as a whip.

So glad for these words, and so pleased to be with you on the journey. Thanks, Sherral. Dr. C

Thanks for mentioning when they dominate the conversation. My ex preferred to be the one starting the conversation and always turned it into a monologue. I told him this and he did not like it. It was such a selfish act because we only talked about what he cared about so he can keep talking.

Yes yes

Sounds like depression. Maybe consult with a psychiatrist about a trial of antidepressant. It can really help to give you a bit of protection from going too far down. But you still can get your energy back with brain exercises and physical ones that raise your dopamine levels. Time for self care❤

@@zeek9697 ty for your reply. I have been on different anti depressants and mood stabilizers it definitely it's better, and defensive we are what we tell our mind, neuroplasticity

You sound like me.... Since my divorce , I found out that my interaction with these types , was more prevalent than I was aware of.... I didn't know what narcissism was.... I do now... In fact I think I'm in one now with someone who is close to me... All the indicators point to this . I don't want to believe it.... actually , My situation is so dire , that I am trapped for the moment...I'm living far from my past situation , and am struggling to find my pathway.. Sometimes I feel like I want to die ... I want relief .. And its only temporary... My finances are very limited , and I feel trapped in a situation that has no happy outcome.. I'm just walking blind..minute by minute...Praying for strength to move ahead... Ive not been well , and have some general weakness in my body... My direction indicators seem to have gone...

@@kohedunn I am truly sorry Anne. It truly felt that my emotions and myself were put through a meat grinder. I know that unfortunately most of the times it feels like there is not an ending to these awful dark feelings, and just like someone reached out to me with a few ideas to improve my mental state... I am also reaching out to you and just can tell you that what has helped me in a very impactful way was reading this amazing book called Letting Go by David R. Hawkins. I have read this book countless times and centers me and gives me a positive perspective on things I need to keep working on. Of course the ebb and flow of strong emotions that get unleashed keeping me in a state of suspension longer that I would wish to stay, but I do have really good days too. I know finances put a heavier weight on everything and actually things look grimmer than actually are. I don't want to give up on life because life can taste so sweet and bright when it does. Also I have my pups that depend on me to give them endless love, respect, consideration and would be so unjust to them not to work harder to get better. Xela_33020@yahoo.com if you want to email me

One day I chose he would not steal another moment. I mustard up the strength to come b4 God & asked for a new beginning with Him. He gave me back my happy heart, joy that I thought was forever gone.

The narc could have killed you. Thank God you are moving on.

mine too..i cut her off i know her tactics

You should party leaving a monster behind. Make up for lost time.

@@paulclinton6414 I have been...I travel a lot. He on the other hand remarried a Russian internet bride!!!! Every time I move he moves to be closer to me...I am ready just to leave town.

Trauma bond

I constantly ask myself that. Robbed me of my childhood.

Me too😒

Ditto...

@@l.5832 me too, 2 childhood thief's that tried to kill my joy since I lost it and stiIl have difficulty to find it back again because of depression, anger, difficulty to grief, the bad feelings that come with all the emotional abuse and trauma. I feel constantly inner sadness despite the fact I can still laugh from a good joke but it rarely happen. Most of my days I feel chronical fatigue and lost of lust for life. Totally desempowered.

Me too ,I woke up at 39 and I went crazy ,I realise I was an Eagle in a chicken family

D S - Thanks for sharing- God bless you, and good luck. ❤️

Hi e wie, you can do yourself a little ceremony to help clear that. White it all down on paper, you may even have an item that's from that period of time that you could let go of, (nothing plastic 😜) go out into nature and bury it along with some words of your choosing to help you release it. Hope this helps. 🙏

If I may, my understanding is that trauma bond is when both parties have suffered shared trauma so wouldn't apply when there is a perpetrator (narcissist) and a victim (supply person), however, they could have suffered similar traumas in the past which I identify with in the context of my covert narcissist friend. I don't mean to be a definition nazi here but what I mean is I thought you might be trauma-based mind control which it essentially is even though sometimes "only" psychological. I agree with Knight-Errant's ceremony idea but there is an ancient version which is laying it all the the feet of the cross and telling Jesus about your pain. He died to carry our burdens. Here is a short visual illustration I find impactful: "Burdens" kzfaq.info/get/bejne/m8p5hKenmZ-Zn5c.html

@@Steve-ul8qb that is so helpful

I know how you feel ! Its the worst

I'm sorry to hear that. My ex's parents have to walk on eggshells around her, they know if they "upset" her she'll do the same.

Yes done that for so long. I had to walk away. Hoping my grandson will come looking for me. My daughter said that he thinks I’m dead. She can be so cruel.

Demetria Gaines I feel you. I have memory loss too. The gas lighting was so powerful as well that I often doubt reality and don’t know what’s real anymore.

@@beautyfrompainxxx Yes. No contact with friend 6 years ago. My validation is knowledge here on YT. The aftermath for me was very severe and lonely for this friend was extremely efficient at her "craft."

I'm sorry. It's hard to recover, it's PTSD.

@@msg472 It Really Is 😢

xxmanthatyoufearxx x You Are Absolutely Right Me 2

I feel you. It's great sadness when you realize you were in reality an orphan.

Thanks so much, Brandon. You're why I do these videos! Dr. C

I got ghosted slowly and deliberately for months. Promise after promise of connection only to be punted again and again. It was an emotional buzz saw where the other person did not care. Just know: Memories are extremely malleable, you had the most knowledge when you knew the other person - your memories will fool you. Get busy with life and accomplish goals. You will leave them in time and realize that they never deserved your affection.

I was ghosted after 10 years and plans we made that I thought we would live out. His true nature came out and I just could NOT believe it!!!! I had the sadness for sure. I was grieving the fake relationship that was real to me. The truth helped me keep moving away from him. It would have been hell to stay with him even 1 more minute. Narc recovery videos kept me in the truth and would snap me out of missing the man I had loved, the man that didn't really exist.

@@zeek9697 Right Ann that man didn't really exist. I've been ghosted this week over his vacation total black-out. I don't know where he is or how to even contact him if there is an emergency with his mother. He's been completely irresponsible this week and it doesn't make sense to me his actions.

Beautiful. So well said. I'm feeling the void right now. I hope you are doing well L. Xx

It is not easy to have more success than a narc, they are lazy.

The problem is, quite often you cannot have "success" if you were abused by narc parents already and now struggling in a predominantly narcissistic world to cope with all the narcs around you might even confirm the 'loser' mentality your initial abusers have already implanted. Yet you can always escape by bringing your burden to Jesus Christ who will make your life more "successful" than the common terminology defines it. 👍

@@Corinna_Schuett_GER I'm not a believer so that option was never a possibility for me. I wasn't expecting huge success. These videos have shown me painfully clearly my son was simply taking over where his father left off. I let it happen twice and I am the only one who can change. The turning point for me when I thought " So what if I fail at something I've tried?" With that in mind, I enrolled in a welding course. No experience, no real interest. I fully expected to fail and prove to myself that the failure wouldn't be dredged up every time I got something else wrong. Much to my shock and everyone else's surprise I was not the clown of the class. Not far from the worst but everyone in that class had failures and problems and everyone was laughing about it all. You are maybe never going to go from beaten-down victim to top of the heap but middle ground independent adult is a huge success for me.

@@maryharvey2804 yes right, as far as your definition of "success" goes I can relate to that. Keep going! 😊

Oh my. That is just awful. :(

@@bookworm8792 - it wasn't pleasant, my friend, that's for sure.

You should report her to the medical board.

@@msg472 - I did. Like all narcissists she lied. What made this all the more upsetting was the fact I opened up to her in a way l hadn't done to anybody else before. A truly horrible experience.

Expose her 100. Humans need to be warned.

@Toni. I was told how awful a person , I was. Yet, these same people, were putting up with the same behaviors from others. I found out recently, they have done the same thing as me- no contact.

Let THEM have a relationship with her...🙄😏

Toni Young I hear you! My narc mother was 84 when I realised what she was. She died last year aged 89. What a relief! Don’t listen to the enablers or those who frankly wouldn’t have a clue what you’ve been through. Be strong, be brave and stay no contact. Live the rest of your life in peace, you deserve it, friend 💙

Growth can last your entire life. Lean into it!! Dr. C

Healing takes time. You can do this 💪💙👊💯!!!

Yes, me too - numb and like sick -_-

Me to it just takes time!

Sending many prayers for peace and a calm regarding you decision. I'm getting ready to do the same with my narc mother. This game of a cpl of years and then the next horrible ones...I just can't anymore. It's so hard bc I'm sure you like me, have or at least at some point had a real love for our mother's and would d anything for them only for them to play or use us like a pawn in their schemes. I wonder if you are an "only" like I am? I'm also sending you many prayers for strength and confidence in yourself!! Please just know that someone else truly feels your pain and prays for the happy, peaceful life you DESERVE!

May God have mercy on her but it not good to enable. Sick that a person would see their own child as an object.

Was there anything the narc did that was not pathetic in reflection?

@@cjburger8482 I am an only child. Sounds like you know what it's like. It's difficult to cut ties with her, but necessary. Good luck! Prayers for your journey as well. It's encouraging to know I'm not going through this alone.

@@paulclinton6414 um no. Especially since today I found out she used my ssn number to claim me on her taxes without my permission. After I uprooted my life to come help her in the new state that I got her moved to a yr and half ago. And that was under the pretenses that she needed help medically, which she did not, she need someone to help bail her out of another financial crisis. She played me.

I'm realizing you don't have to! I'm 37.

@@sarahcook908 I know that, too. It's fun to be free of that need.

Leah, don't accept the guilt foisted on you. I HAVE talked about the relationship and either they don't believe it (because it's not the story the narc is telling or not the person the narc portrays himself to be) or they don't want to believe it or they just don't want to "get involved", all of which would require a change on the listener's part. I believe it's difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced that level of deception and manipulation to understand that it really happens. I've learned to state my boundaries clearly and leave it at that, with no explanation. For instance, my son and daughter-in-law now know and accept the fact that, if circumstances require, I can tolerate no more than 2 hours in his presence and will absolutely never spend the night in the same house with him (which necessitates splitting up that family week at the beach).

Yes, I never told cause it wouldn’t meet what others know of them...trust yourself...others don’t have to live your life..but we do! We have to be in our own true situation.

Leah Doiron I’m in the same boat as you Insane abuse I endured from my abusive npd ex husband that I protected my children from knowing about through the years. Now after I finally divorced him they are confused and protective of him that I can’t have a normal relationship with him as he’s playing the innocent helpless victim while all along he’s still abusing me through my lawyer and messages he sends to me he’s brainwashed my children to be his worshipping cult members Twisted tragic irony

Narcs never resolve, they exist on loose ends. Just walk away.

Leah, they won't understand if you didn't talk to them (which is normal though as long as they're small). If you try to explain now, they think you hold grudges. But going NC with a narc is not the same. It's vital to keep your sanity. If they choose the side of the narc, let them go and have their own experience with him. You cannot protect them all the time. Pray that they might wake up to reality. (I got the same issue with narc grandma and my own child currently.) Much love!

@@joseenoel8093 Thank you!!!

That all makes sense.

@@joseenoel8093 😁Thank you! And yes....this screen name came from exactly that....I Bounced Back....stronger, wiser, happier ...than I have ever been in my life. I can not stop smiling now🙂

Not your fault that Satan walks among us. Not your cross to 🐻. Glad he did not harm you or even kill you.

@@paulclinton6414 "even kill you" struck a cord with me. Because in fact that's what he threatened if I left.....his exact words "I know where alot of a abandoned old wells are...they would never find you" 🙄 Threats to keep me in place. 🙄 but they didn't work. Hopefully he has found his own peace.

Love your screen name.

Congrats on moving forward with you. ❤️

Your narc roommate hated peace and happiness and will have none ever.

Sue B ugh .. was married to one for 20 plus years .. she put down two dearly beloved pets without saying a word to me or her own daughters and they weren’t sick .. still trying revive my emotional health and it’s not easy