I think biggest reason for difference in satisfaction is that most people don't think about becoming parents at all. They just follow steps they were given: finish school, find a job, find a partner, marry them, make a baby. Childfree people think about their decision.
@kitaboo206 Жыл бұрын
Yea people definitely don't put enough thought into it.
@CordeliaWagner Жыл бұрын
There are abortions for accidents. Better have an abortion than ruining your life for at least 18 years.
@Unknown_0unknown Жыл бұрын
People really need to think more before having kids. You gamble when you have kids. Obviously, like other things, but when it comes to wanting to bring another human into the world, it's a very serious/huge decision to make.
@2okaycola Жыл бұрын
I disagree. Millennials have postponed marriage & childbirth bc we are picky. When you waif till the last minute you have fewer options
@memebzk5001 Жыл бұрын
@@CordeliaWagnerdoesn’t end at 18😂😂😂
@ST-rj8iu Жыл бұрын
If you don't want to be an astronaut, you will never regret not becoming an astronaut. My exact thoughts on Motherhood.
@itsgabbieagain Жыл бұрын
I love it!
@AhlSunnah111 Жыл бұрын
😂
@lane8911 ай бұрын
I don’t want to be a astronaut but that don’t mean I gotta go around using astronauts struggles to justify WHY. The fact that childfree women have to pull down parent to lift yourselves up is quite PATHETIC. It’s like y’all want desperately to justify yourselves so you use our struggles as parents to do so but really if you need my struggle to justify your experiences you sound dumb AF our experience is not yours to use for justification for your life choices.
@jcain910 ай бұрын
I always say you can't miss what you never had.
@susan73749 ай бұрын
lol true
@beepbopboop7727 Жыл бұрын
Growing up, I was always told about the “ticking biological clock”. But in the real world I see childfree women living the best living and mothers looking absolutely ragged.
@lotusflower231511 ай бұрын
Yep! Childfree and Xy free Women have significantly less stress & look YEARS younger as a result.
@Laurenasmity11 ай бұрын
I’m 38, Childfree and I haven’t heard a biological clock yet. ⏰
@maguiedossantos292511 ай бұрын
100% True Women with children age horribly faster as they are under stress most of the parenting years.even when they are married or have a partner
@TragicHeroine-kd6uy10 ай бұрын
That literally happened to my mom. She had me and my brother in her late 20s and then she aged really fast. Now she’s almost 50 but looks way older than that, sadly
@ms.pirate10 ай бұрын
I never heard of that till watching complimation videos. It sounds like a myth
@CatsOverBrats Жыл бұрын
"You're gonna die alone." Everyone dies alone. It's not a collective experience. Even if you're one of the few people dying in a bed with loved ones around you, you're still alone in dying. Most people don't have anyone around them when they die. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. No one knows how we're gonna go but there are some people out there that cling on to the fantasy of their adult children holding their hands as they take their final breath and die from old age.
@UniqueGeekFreak Жыл бұрын
To that I say, it wouldn't matter that I die alone since I am alone & lonely all the time, even with my so called loved ones around me, there would be no difference of how my life have been led from cradle to grave, in loneliness & solitude. And since I have been a champ it seems at that, I can continue on my life the same way
@annhans353511 ай бұрын
People act like if you don't have kids no one will be at your death bed. Guess what, there is no guarantee that your kids will take care of you when you are sick.
@stephaniepersin422210 ай бұрын
The male human dies way before female human. My late grandma went to senior citizens events and it was filled with female widows. So it is very likely that you’ll die alone. I visited a nursing home one time and it was filled with very old people desperate for someone to talk to them. No offspring around. Reproducing doesn’t mean that they’ll take care of you.
@ms.pirate10 ай бұрын
@@annhans3535 yup. Plus I can barely take care of me as it is. Taking care of a human is alot of work. More work than any other animal
@nunyafawkingbiz9 ай бұрын
Exactly ! What if you’re kids grow up to be horrible people and y’all lose contact ? That happens often !
@757Princess Жыл бұрын
I met a man who had three children all under the age of 10. I told him I wasn’t interested in children. This man looked me in my face and said “ good I want a stress free marriage with NO responsibilities”. Sir, your three kids are still there and having a spouse is a responsibility too, it to mention your ex wife will still be in the picture. The nerve of men with children. They really don’t care for their children the way men do and that’s my only reason for not having a child.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
Yes, he wanted a stress free marriage alright. His plan was to marry you, gain 50/50 custody so he doesn't have to pay child support, then stick you with taking care of the kids when it is his turn to have them. I'm glad you saw through the BS, because a lot of women fall for that crap so they can be somebody's wife.
@YourMajesty143 Жыл бұрын
There was a reddit post about a woman who married a man and became the step-mom. He was a weekend dad, so he only had custody 8 days out of the month and she wasn't allowed to discipline them or anything. But when their mother died, he got full custody. So she was raising these boys and they accidentally called her mom. Her husband was furious. Also, he refused to let her adopt them or build any attachments with them. He was living up in her house with a measly $40K income, while she was paying most of the bills ($200k income), doing all the domestic labor, child-rearing and husband caretaking. When she realized he wouldn't allow her to be a part of his children's lives except to be their nanny and his maid, she then asked for a divorce and kicked him out of her house. This man didn't flinch when he asked if in the divorce proceedings, she could give up HER house "for the kids". The audacity! She saw right through his whole scheme. He was a hobosexual mooching off of her and only married her for the benefits, not for love. These deadbeat fathers looking for a hand-maid and a hand-out, a nurse and a purse. Ladies protect your wallet and your peace!
@sheree1994sa Жыл бұрын
He was letting you know he had no plans taking care of his responsibilities
@Karmin19991 Жыл бұрын
Men just can go find a new wife and family
@triggered577 Жыл бұрын
Lol-Why did he just assume you wanted to marry him? I don’t want marriage or children but even if I did want to get married, no way in hell would I choose someone with a child. And then this guy has multiple, wtf
@sagthenaturalsiren5997 Жыл бұрын
This is why women with children spent so much time trying to tell women without children they were less than. They want everyone to be as miserable as they are 😂😂
@sxwrtr918 Жыл бұрын
Agree wholeheartedly. I believe they are jealous, but society puts such a taboo on people (especially women) saying they don't want/like kids or, worse, who regret having them, that they sit on their own anger and resentment and offload it onto us. Interacting with us highlights their own doubt at the choice they've made, usually having caved to societal/family pressure while we stood firm, or that they just mindlessly followed the recipe...get guy, have kid, be a mom, or they bought the lie about the blissful fulfillment that is motherhood and had reality sucker punch them.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
To be fair to these angry breeders, I'd be angry too if I was a hive minded miserable sheep who never lived outside of expectations or questioned if there was more to life than outdated paths billions have already taken.
@sagthenaturalsiren5997 Жыл бұрын
@@Childfree334 “angry breeders” made me giggle 🤭
@zi6803 Жыл бұрын
I noticed this as well. I am 30 and child free and a lot of mothers are angry about that. They say they love their kids and I will never understand what joy I am missing out on, but they also complain 24/7 about them and look like they are seconds away to pack their bags and move to a deserted island Edit: one of them was angry that I have hobbies and made fun of them, and then said oh well some of us have kids and have responsibillities and need to cook and clean ... as if that is a flex
@sxwrtr918 Жыл бұрын
@@zi6803 Yes. I've read that high-handed and condescending 'we have responsibilities' garbage in many commentary sections from those poor, put-upon, exhausted mommies who bought into the idyllic myth of mommyhood and now resent/regret having kids and take their anger and frustration out in us child- frees. Their 'responsibilities' argument is ludicrous, as we have all the same adult responsibilities, commitments and challenges they do....but without the added and unnecessary nuisance of a kid on top if it. Whether we are single or partnered, we work (which many of these whiney pampered mommies do not), AND still cook, clean, pay our bills, grocery shop, and may be taking care of other family members such as an ill or elderly parent at home. Many of these mombies have what amounts to a part-time gig playing house while their husbands do all the heavy lifting. They're a joke and jealous AF about your having a hobby to enjoy while they're trapped. Tired of their bulls@#t!
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
PLEASE STOP with this ridiculous narrative that people don't regret the actual children, because they do. People may not verbalize their regret at having kids, but we all see what has manifested in our society as a result. People show you better than they tell you. As a pediatric RN for almost 3 decades, I can tell you that too many people regret their kids. That is the ugly reality, and people need to accept it. Abuse, neglect, abandonment, murder, and abortions happen everyday because people regret having kids.
@PheonixBluez Жыл бұрын
I regret all of them. If I could go back I wouldn't have none. I'm not abusing them. But I hated being pregnant and hated being a parent. I'm older and absolutely cannot wait to live alone or at least where there's not much codependency. Oh well. I don't care who knows.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
@PheonixBluez Hey, no judgment here. Thank you for being brutally honest. People like you who admit it are rare. All these poor women out here having babies because they are either forced or tricked, not because they really want kids. I'm sorry you have had to sacrifice so much of your life for thankless motherhood.
@chamab.6800 Жыл бұрын
Exactly. That’s what no one wants to say publicly… can say publicly. And I get it, u don’t want it to get back to your children that you regret having them. There is no nice way to say it. I’ve heard and read both mehn and womehn say that if they had stuck to their plans that their life wouldn’t suck now. Listen to your gut and maintain child free if that’s your stance. U can’t go back once u have them. If u want kids later, u can always adopt.
@amandasunshine2 Жыл бұрын
You can love someone and not want to parent them. This sounds like you probably have issues in your own relationships because you lack the ability to understand the nuance.
@sagthenaturalsiren5997 Жыл бұрын
There is a whole Facebook page of people regretting children
@parklady4233 Жыл бұрын
Just because you have a womb, doesn’t mean you have to use it. Next time someone tells me they are childless by choice, I am going to say, “Good for you!”
@Segen_Bell Жыл бұрын
Agreed. I'm Agender and just happen to have breasts and a uterus. But I don't want to be a woman or use it. I'm so done with this gender and mother shit. Even if everyone calls me mentally ill and unhappy for being being an Agender and for not using my uterus, Idc.
@get_aclue421811 ай бұрын
Same
@carmenmonroe711 ай бұрын
Absolutely! To add to that, the womb is used in many ways besides just having children. For example, in some forms of spirituality.
@jsksodjebebjbbhsjjryaakqwelops7 ай бұрын
@Segen_Bell, that's nice❤ I would love to know more about different genders! If you don't mind, can you explain agender pls🙏 it sounds so cool and interesting
@xxAccajghijghohfcbnjhvddhHxx7 ай бұрын
@@Segen_Bell I'm glad you know who you are for now🙏
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
I will NEVER regret not having children because I never wanted them. I am a pediatric nurse who works with kids daily, but the mother gene is just not in me. I can't imagine doing the job that I do, then have to go home and deal with my own children. Just NO. Plus I have assisted in 250-300 deliveries over the course of my career (some of those women died) and know I could never sacrifice my body to pregnancy and childbirth. I don't want or need to have kids to have old age caretakers. That is not fair to them. So no kids for me thanks!!!
@TEWMUCH Жыл бұрын
Wow, that's sad. Did u have to see them die in front of u?
@goduxunike Жыл бұрын
I wonder how people who question your choice even try to argue with you. I don't have your job so I'm often told that "it's not that bad" or "some people exaggerate". But you have enough data, exposure and experience to know what is the actual reality.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
@@TEWMUCHYes, quite a few women passed away before we even got the babies completely free of the birth canal. However, these women knew the risks with the pre-existing conditions they had, but chose to continue the pregnancies anyway. Even as a woman I do not understand this mentality of giving up my own life so a baby can survive. The mothers are not even here to enjoy the kids they died for. 😢
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
You're my hero!!!!!
@TEWMUCH Жыл бұрын
@Childfree334 oh wow! That's alot! Smh. I hope it doesn't traumatize you too much! I would think that because some people are anti-abortion, maybe they think it's God's plan or something. At least they were warned. I'm anti-abortion too, but I wonder if God would understand in the instance that your baby was killing you. 🤔 🤷🏾♀️ I don't know, but a motherless child is a tough situation.
@cosmicbrownie333 Жыл бұрын
From personal experience it's majority men who try to shame me for being CF. I realize that's mostly due to them being frustrated with the knowledge of actually having to be a person of substance in order to have access to me or remain in my life lol. Furthermore, they can't manipulate the desperation of a "biological clock" that isn't there or dangle marriage like a carrot because I'm already fulfilled/self actualized. Women are the most supportive of my choice...Moms in particular. Women who have kids know it's not all it's cracked up to be unless it's something you truly want and don't shame others. Great moms understand why some women simply say no. Many people who end up regretting it tend to follow a "script" in life, romanticize it, and get extremely let down by the reality. All in all all choices are valid.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
I totally ignore anything men have to say when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. Trust and believe that if men were the ones carrying and birthing babies, they wouldn't GAF what women say or think.
@cosmicbrownie333 Жыл бұрын
@@Childfree334 right!
@orangecat999 Жыл бұрын
This is my experience as well including my own dad who wanted me to have a kid and give him/her my last name to keep the "patriarchal name" alive, lol. So much for thinking about what my future husband would think about that. It's an interesting time to be alive where we see this whole idea of men being these simple creatures comes crumbling down.
@sxwrtr918 Жыл бұрын
Have found that men have often become angry and nasty at me for not wanting/liking/having kids. Its a direct affront to their precious egos and a rejection of their deified seed. Poor babies.
@skadi6750 Жыл бұрын
Exactly THIS! 95% of the rude motherfuckers who desperately need to express their opinion or convince me that "I will one way or another evolve into the motherhood stadium one day. I am just a late bloomer." (Mind you, I am 34, jeez...)and who completely disregard my ability of making free decisions about my life ARE MEN. And I am not even available relationship wise. i am happily married to a guy, who is perfectly content not being a father. Still the men feel like the idea of women rejecting motherhood somehow threatens their value on this Earth. Its like they cannot find a value to their life and masculinity outside it.
@MsRenaissance Жыл бұрын
I'm 47, no kids. My younger sister who had 2 kids told me I got away with murd@r by not having kids.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
Your sister makes no sense. Having kids is a CHOICE. She could have just as easily chosen to be childfree just like you.
@sxwrtr918 Жыл бұрын
My sister, with two now-adult children, used to chirp at me when they were small about 'oh, but they'll change your life', 'you really should try it' , yada yada. Honey, if I want a life change Ill switch careers, move, get a different partner, whatever. But I sure as s#!t ain't changing it....permanently and very likely regrettably...by having a kid! Im not that selfish or bored. As for the brilliant 'try it' line? Yeah, right, and do I just return it to Bloomingdales for a refund if I decide I don't like it?! Glad I am now at an age (late 50's) where moronic bingos like those have mercifully passed their expiration/exasperation date.
@devinpowell1276 Жыл бұрын
@Childfree334 well everybody doesn't have the same will power, especially 20years ago when this wasn't being talked about. So for you to tell somebody that their feelings about it don't make sense doesn't make sense. These are her words what the heck 💁🏾
@sxwrtr918 Жыл бұрын
@@devinpowell1276 Her sister's statement sounds like it points to her own after-the-fact 'buyer's remorse' and resentment at saddling herself with kids, and what also sounds like envy at her child-free sister's choice. Regarding 'will power,' yes, some people have less than others. That's fine if you're just trying to drop a few pounds or something like that. But having a kid is a big deal and one should be able to muster up all the will power on the planet in making this decision...especially if one is leaning toward 'no.' Yes, this stuff was not as out in the open 20 years ago as it is now. Even less acceptable or discussed 30 or 40 years ago. I am in my late 50's and I managed to have will power and stand firm about not wanting kids. I got all the bingos, called selfish, immature, told there was something wrong with me, made to feel less than, scowled at, vilified, cross examined, a barrage of bs. Women need to be strong and steadfast about this choice and don't be cowed or bullied by the programmed sheep.
@devinpowell1276 Жыл бұрын
@@sxwrtr918 so they both made their choice and her sister may be remorseful,so how does her relaying that to her sister not "makes sense" if she does feel that way?
@notyet2345 Жыл бұрын
I knew of a woman who had two emotionally, mentally and physically disabled kids both of which were wheelchair bound. They both passed away in their teens but imagine if they had lived until their 60's or 50's. I think about the parents who have to take care of their child for their rest of their lives because of some physical or mental disability. If having a healthy baby is hard, I can't even begin to imagine what it is like raising a child with physical or mental disabilities.
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
It sucks.
@anonnnymousthegreat Жыл бұрын
I know someone my age (we’re in our early 30’s), who had a child with a POS that had a rap sheet. One day while she was at work, she got a phone call about her child who was a month old at the time that they were going to the hospital. Come to find out that the pos she was with possibly caused horrible bodily injury to her child by way of severe baby shaken syndrome. This child ended up with permanent brain damage. Now this mother has a child who was perfectly healthy that completely became nonverbal, physically disabled from the neck down and have to be taken care of 24/7 because of their high chances of them getting sick and put back in the ICU from just a cold. Her child is now 13yrs old. Instead of being able to watch her child go to school and run around like any other healthy 13yo, she will forever as long as she or her child lives have to care for her child like they are an infant that was just born.
@Gxldxn95 Жыл бұрын
This is a biggest one for me. I you Don’t want to have kids because I don’t want them to have my disability but I’m 27 and have no dad & my mom died three years ago and now my disability is progressing and I have no one to help me out. I’m just waiting til my times up here
@Segen_Bell Жыл бұрын
Not only the parents but even the children will suffer. They might even blame themselves for the sufferings. It's not all flowers and sugar.
@ms.pirate10 ай бұрын
I kinda also feel bad for those kids. Mostly because they were born unlucky in bad bodies. God is so cruel and I hate it. Poor mama had to witness that too 💔
@2006glg Жыл бұрын
I've always said this: people who choose not to have children have given far more thought to parenthood than people who have kids. And I would say this to them and they'd disagree and disregard mypoint of view out of hand....well they used to. Childfree women start digesting the angles of their choice from early age. I stood on my decision by age 16.
@ecclairmayo41532 ай бұрын
I've been saying this for quite soem time as well. When it comes to the topic of having children, I believe there are two types of people. Folks who take having children very seriously and those who don't. Most people who don't have children (yet or never) simply think and plan about these things more. Ironically , these people are better suited for parenthood. Literally, the world would be a much better place if only the people who were cautious about kids were the ones procreation. Instead, majority of the time, it's the people who aren't like that who are having kids and there is very little thought, care or planning into their decison making.
@StellaM22 Жыл бұрын
Not having kids is probably the only major life decision I DO NOT REGRET…
@AWholeVibe9611 ай бұрын
That part!!
@TEWMUCH Жыл бұрын
This lady with red hair and glasses is making me mad. Why did she stay with a man who wasn't working AND didn't do any housework??? AND THEN HAVE HIS BABY??? absolutely NOT!!
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, women like that get no sympathy here. Just desperate.
@TEWMUCH Жыл бұрын
@@Childfree334 poor mentality. Just a complete victim.
@ibabechanel Жыл бұрын
Don't blame her.... she might've had a shabby upbringing and hasn't healed properly.
@TEWMUCH Жыл бұрын
@ibabechanel yes. Exactly what I was thinking. The only person that would do this is a person who saw nothing but this around her. Poor girl! It's a very sad situation cuz she's talking about it like she can't do anything about it. 🤷🏾♀️
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
@@ibabechanelI actually do blame her. Just because she might have grown up with toxicity doesn't mean she has to repeat the cycle. See all these women out here breaking generational curses and childhood abuse by NOT repeating the same behaviors? So many are rejecting marriage and motherhood because of what they witnessed growing up. Just because my mother is a murderer or alcoholic doesn't give me an excuse to emulate her behavior.
@goddessinfinity1 Жыл бұрын
Not having children is like committing murder to be free and getting away with it with no jail time. Motherhood is a life sentence that you can't get out of. If I had a second chance at life I would of removed my uterus at puberty, never marry, get a girlfriend to live life with, remain a Virgin my entire life, and adopt a dog.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like a heavenly life to me.
@YourMajesty143 Жыл бұрын
Not having children is NOT AT ALL like commiting murder, it's inherently non-committal in its entire sense, but it's especially not akin to anything illegal. I think the better analogy is that it's like choosing not to go to college. Everybody expects you to do it and everyone romanticizes it, but nobody talks about the time-consuming work, the late nights, the stress, the debt-causing expenses, the downward spiral of depression, not being able to have a social life, mental & physical exhaustion, and the false promise that it'll help ensure you'll be taken care of in your old age. People who go to college look down on people who didn't, and people who hear that you're choosing a life of freedom instead of being a "responsible contributor to society" will shame you for being "selfish" and not following the customary rules to becoming an adult. See? It's just like not wanting kids.
@user-ip5fm3ck4p Жыл бұрын
Well damn 😂
@goddessinfinity1 Жыл бұрын
@@YourMajesty143well that was a very egotistical response 😂. You can't rewrite anyone's experiences or say what is better or worse. I said what I said 🙄. Having children is like committing suicide (killing your own life) or commiting murder (killing a child's life by being them onto hellish earth). If it was a great experience Poland, China, Japan, and Italy would not be opting out of child bearing or marriage.
@Segen_Bell Жыл бұрын
It's what I always say, women should start looking for life partners in other women. Marriage and men are a scam to trap women. Get your girl-friends and roommates and live the heck out of life. And even if you do want kids in the future, get a sperm donor and raise it with together.
@hellund28747 ай бұрын
Women more consciously regret having children because they are more aware of how happy childfree women are. For the longest time childfree women were painted as lonely unhappy spinsters, so there was nothing to be envious about. Now, they see that the opposite is actually true: childfree women often have amazing lives with fulfilled relationships and friendships, money, free time and careers, travel and romance. Having children now looks more and more like sacrificing your whole life to that cause.
@dangermauz754 Жыл бұрын
To the Black Woman in the intro. He waited you out. He searches for single women. Because, he is solely interested in getting women to break their own rules. And, as you can see for yourself, he is dating other single women. They're just new victims. The only thing you can learn from this is to teach younger women that if they don't have maternal feelings. Just don't do it. One of the biggest things women don't realize is, persistence from a man is another form of love bombing.
@ibabechanel Жыл бұрын
THIS.
@sophiam9886 Жыл бұрын
She really should've given that child to the father and went ahead and lived her best life. More wom&n need to learn to walk away when m&n try to trap them with these children, especially if it's a son. Boys need to be with their father anyway.
@dangermauz754 Жыл бұрын
@@sophiam9886 Yeah, Women have been tricked into believing in "morality"... My approach is through the knowledge of good and evil. I think that morality is according to one's own decisions to do what's right or wrong. Good or bad. With a high level of understanding about consequences. We need to abandon the idea that there's gonna be bad outcomes or karma if we make a decision to take a burden off of ourselves. We need to become more amoral. We need to move towards discretion. Morality is also through the lens of patriarchy. It's gonna be uncomfortable to some of us, because, we're taught morality through fear.
@Segen_Bell Жыл бұрын
@@sophiam9886I agree, but what if they abuse the child sexually, physically, mentally, or/and emotionally? That's my biggest fear. I hate kids with every fibre and I never want any either. But, I as an adult, cannot bear to see children in bad situations. I would not be able to see a child be hurt due to some mf men. I'd rather give the child to foster care than leave them with deadbeat ass men. Especially sons, who knows what twisted things that man may teach the sons. We don't need another generation of deadbeat men. There's been too many.
@ibabechanel Жыл бұрын
@@Segen_Bell Not your responsibility as a woman. Shouldn’t be your burden.
@Freedomchild85 Жыл бұрын
I’m not child free but I decided I was 1 and done 17 years ago. Now he’s like a grown man so I actually FEEL child free lol I watch these videos because I love watching women decide what’s NOT for them instead of being influenced by others. My Mom hounded me for years for when I’d have another child - NEVER! I like money and naps and don’t want to have to do it alone. I’m good!
@cebile1493 Жыл бұрын
I think I'm also done I had a child 10 years ago and I do not desire having more but my parents say I'll change my mind
@christins.1481 Жыл бұрын
My POV is if parents want grandbabies, they need to adopt. I have no kids, so my mom brought in other people into her home with babies and cares for the babies instead of pressuring me to have babies.
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
I hate those license plates that say, "Only the best dads/moms get "promoted" to grandpa/grandma". It makes me suck to my stomach seeing that sh*t. So in your face while you're just trying to beat the rush hour traffic to get to work or whatever. Have any of you seen that sh*t?! And those silhouette bunker stickers with the mom and dad and like 3+ kids UGHHH!!! And the "baby on board" stickers drive me batty as well. In my head all I can think is, "Way to go Mom and Dad! You just made yourselves an easy target for pedophiles and child sex traffick predators to stalk you all the way to the store or home and take your kid while you're looking the other way!!! Great job!!!"
@christins.1481 Жыл бұрын
@@PassionateFlower The Baby on Board is also meant for emergency services. That way if there's an accident and emergency personnel see that sign they know to check the back. I don't believe that's what it was originally intended for, but I think emergency services just ended favoring that sign because they discovered it worked in their favor. So smart parents put that sign on to tell emergency services to alert police and not for clout.
@TyHardNeNe Жыл бұрын
Same here🙂! My son is 23 and on his own! I feel free AF! 😀
@triggered577 Жыл бұрын
I don’t understand why a child-free woman would want to be with a man who has children. It’s a huge red flag. If a man is not in a relationship with the mother of his children (and the mother is the custodial parent) there are only two possible explanations. 1) He left her with the child(ren) to raise on her own OR 2) She left him and kept the chil(ren) - but that indicates that he was so awful as a partner that she would rather be a single parent than co-parent in a relationship. No beuno
@misspriss24829 ай бұрын
Or they got married when they were young and stupid and got pregnant before realizing it. Two perfectly good people can be badly mismatched and decide that they are better off apart. Oftentimes the children go with the mother because that is what society pushes. He can be very involved with the children.
@redleeks62538 ай бұрын
@@misspriss2482 bullshit.
@devilkitty67252 ай бұрын
Or the first wife screwed around and left him, and you live in a place where shared custody is truly 50/50, not alternate weekends, and the dad is the primary caregiver. Every situation is different.
@jynclr7 ай бұрын
I'm a woman in my mid 50s and childfree. I am GRATEFUL to never have had children! No regrets here.
@monharris28 Жыл бұрын
i was always anti mainstream--if society told me to get married, i said WHY? if society told me i had to party a lot and have lots of money, i said WHY? if they said i had to be super thin, i said but i'm not built that way. i've always been very suspicious of what is pushed--and LORD, it saved me and i have a life of ease, rest, and creativity. Childfree, 40, blessed as hell. its nice to see others catch up in this new generation.
@Philosophicalpaperti4 ай бұрын
Are you me?? 😄 Same here, I feel like I’m *everything* society tells me not to be - a fat, middle aged, single woman with a modest job, small home, a bike. All of my relatives are frantically trying to “keep up with the Jones” and I’m over here chilling with my cats.
@rcjacksonbrighton25 күн бұрын
@@monharris28 wow. Me too. Not found a comment like this before. I’ve felt this EXACT way from a kid. I’m the same, living a chilled, free, creative life over here while everyone else is running around trying to keep up with something. At times I think, wait, hang on, have I got it all wrong..? Which I think is normal to pause and question it when everyone around is doing one thing, and me, another, but on a day to day basis I feel free and have a life I’ve created and designed myself which I feel blessed for. 💕✨✨✨✨ xxxxx
@misspriss24829 ай бұрын
I was parentified at a young age. My mother had a special needs child when I was 11. She went to back to school to get her degree so nights, weekends, summers, he was mine. I vividly remember him screaming and me bouncing him at 2 am thinking, "I am never doing this shit again." I am now 48 with no kids, and I have zero regrets. I'm not partnered either. Having a man is like having a kid, for the most part. No thanks.
@Europa17498 ай бұрын
So true. I like being totally free and not beholden to anyone.
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
After watching my parents get divorced when I was 4 I realized that if I ever wanted kids I would have to ask myself if I'm okay with being a single mother regardless of my marital status which I learned could change at a moment's notice and my parents were together for 17 years and married for 7 of those 17 years. And I realized I never wanted kids and for damn sure didn't want to be a single mom. I realized that as a woman deciding to have kids means you have to want the kid REGARDLESS of your relationship status. So I was asking myself if I'd be okay raising a child that a man made me carry to term and I've always felt it's a UM HELL F*CKING NO for me!!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
Bruh don't leave me with a kid that I never wanted in the first place!!!!!🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡
@danaagenbroad7 ай бұрын
Same here. Watched my Mom marry and divorce 3x by the time I left home at 18. She struggled to raise 4 kids basically on her own, and was financially dependent on her husbands. Not for me! Had my tubes tied when I was 22, and never married. The men I did get involved with were not worth the time and effort I gave them. Am 68 now, and happily single for the last 28 years. If there are "good men" out there, I haven't met them. At least, not good enough to put up with!
@seektruth57507 ай бұрын
@@PassionateFlower “a man made you carry” , no, it’s all biology, and you decided to have sex knowing what the body of a woman entails and does , so yeah
@Ceibhfhionn6 ай бұрын
Wise woman! @@danaagenbroad
@ecclairmayo41532 ай бұрын
Exactly. Having a child because a man wanted it and you didn't will lead to nothing but resentment especially if he just used you and abandoned you. It's awful. Only have kids if YOU want them
@forlornhauntedghost Жыл бұрын
I'm never having kids. It's just not worth all the trouble and heart break. My experience, watching my own mom struggle so much to raise 4 kids. She told me that I should never have kids and I know she regrets having kids or so many kids. My mom said she was so unaware of the burden and how before she had any her relatives and other people would all just talk about how great it is and how children are wonderful while hiding the truth because they want others to suffer as they have ... Or at least that's what she believes
@sickofit5547 Жыл бұрын
I think she is right. They want us to suffer with them. Which is so wrong
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
It's like getting peer pressured to drink and do drugs. People don't want to drink alone. They want someone else addicted as well to commiserate together with. I think having kids is kinda like that. People that have kids WANT others to have kids to make THEM feel less sh*tty about THEIR poor decision to have kids!!!!!!!!
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
Also it's a slap in the face to a lot of parents when their kids choose not to have kids because then it invalidates their decision to have had that kid that doesn't want to have a kid themselves. Kind of like, "Hey mom and dad, I'm not going to make the same lame stupid mistake you two idiots made. How about I keep my paychecks and my freedom during the years you two were slogging away wiping my a$$ and snot I'm chilling in a jacuzzi at my luxury sports club and sauna on a Tuesday at 10am because I have a flexible job and don't have any dependents in my 30s!!!! SUCKERS!!!!🤪✌️
@sidology1.011 ай бұрын
Oh wow..
@darcy57619 ай бұрын
Misery loves company
@jessicascreenwritingservices Жыл бұрын
I highly recommend that women read the book “Regretting Motherhood.” Very eye opening
@jozey5552 ай бұрын
YUP i’ve always known i want to be child free and i already have this saved in my amazon cart so so excited to read 😊
@Camille4Real Жыл бұрын
Hey child free ladies! Stand strong and don't let anyone shame you for being happy. There is no winning with people. This is why it's so important to do what YOU want. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. Much love!
@wheatstonebridge Жыл бұрын
Im finding it so hard to be strong 😢
@Camille4Real10 ай бұрын
@@wheatstonebridge I'm a Mom and we get criticized all day. That's why I say it's no winning with people. You can't live your life for others. Many of those people are just jealous anyway. Just know that you are paving the way for other women who feel JUST like you ❤️❤️❤️
@Just...Peachy9 ай бұрын
@@wheatstonebridge you can do it. Take emotion out of it and look at the big picture. The people pressuring you will not be there to help you out.
@theaqua15177 ай бұрын
The only way we can win is if we live our very own best lives despite what others are saying. People will always be talking
@LaDyLuCk909 Жыл бұрын
Most of the women who regret having kids, is mainly because the fathers and their lack of being an involved parent and women are completely overwhelmed with kids and their husband's lack of help.
@cpproduction32510 ай бұрын
I asked my girlfriend, let’s call her Kim, if she was going on a woman’s retreat. I wanted us to room together. She said, “I don’t know. I don’t have someone to watch the kids (9&10).” I replied, “ What do you mean you don’t have someone to watch the kids? You have a whole husband..their BIOLOGICAL.” She replied, “Rob never watches the kids. He’s never been left alone with the kids.” I marched right over to him and said, “Hey Kim and I want to go to the women’s retreat.” He looked at me and hesitantly said, “Umm that sounds great, but I don’t think she has a babysitter.” I said, “You’re their father.” He sighed and said, “Yeah, but I don’t babysit.” I thought holy sh$t. She looked at me so defeated. Well, she didn’t go. He works his wife like a mule!😢 FYI…The names have been charged to protect the innocent.😅
@bethliebner10608 ай бұрын
🙍
@jacquelineess11418 ай бұрын
Her fault 100%. She chose his DNA to mix with hers and she knew what he was like. Don't feel sorry for her and keep living your best life, sis.
@teganflyman53527 ай бұрын
Wow
@NineNineOne4 ай бұрын
I’m going to defend that father. It’s VERY likely he NEVER wanted kids or showed any interest in having kids and very likely he said to his wife “I DONT WANT KIDS” and she pushed and manipulated him or just went ahead and got pregnant without his agreement… I think that’s tremendously common.., in which case he has no obligation to look after them. None whatsoever. She’s lucky he doesn’t leave her.
@tanya-7893 ай бұрын
"Babysit". My guy, this is YOUR child, it's called taking care of YOUR child, NOT babysitting!
@iboprincess1 Жыл бұрын
People typically don't regret not doing something they never wanted to do. It would be like me regretting not being a Trump supporter.
@PassionateFlower Жыл бұрын
Lmfao omg yes this is hands down THE best comment ever! Congratulations, you comment wins the internet!!!!! I love it!!!😂🙌🎖🎖🎖🎖🏆🏆🏆🏆🏅🏅🏅🏅🥇🥇🥇🥇🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
@eurekamreum5458 Жыл бұрын
Like me regretting not storming the Capitol lmao
@dcg5904 ай бұрын
@@eurekamreum5458no one stormed the capital.
@dcg5904 ай бұрын
You dems are destroying this country. Hope you’re proud of yourselves
@tywilliam3225 Жыл бұрын
If your man get uncomfortable with you being a child free woman. He keep pressuring you to have his kids. 🏃♀️ RUN If your man got baby mama who tell you that he doesn’t pay child support or visit his child 🏃♀️RUN If your man only dating career woman doesn’t want kids before dating you. 🏃♀️RUN
@mensesmimi2 ай бұрын
Also run if the man has kids period but especially if he says negative things about the mother of his children. If a man says his children's mother will not allow him to see them or tries to turn his kids against him then run. He is either lying to blame his negligence and bad/estranged relationship with his kids on the woman or he actually has done something that caused the mother of his children to not trust him to take care of them or be alone with them. If he whines about custody then run because when men ask for custody they get it, if he doesn't have custody it's because he didn't ask or there's something about him and his track record + current circumstances that gave the judge a reason to deny him. There was a case where a man killed his own son because the son saw photos of him cross dressing and engaging in fetishes and the boy's mother always said he should not have custody or visitation yet the courts wouldn't listen to her up to the point that her child died at the hands of the man she tried to protect him from. Do not listen to these men about their kids or their kids' mother, idgaf.
@Kattlarv11 ай бұрын
I still have massive respect for that woman that had the walls to ditch their kid. Dad PROMISED to do EVERYTHING. Realized it was hard, then bailed. She gave him like, several weeks. He kept dodging and she just yeeted the child into adoption. And he LOST HIS SHIT months later when he realized she followed through. Since: Women are NOT allowed to do that.
@dakotamabry164511 ай бұрын
The poor kid :/ granted someone has to do it, but that is definitely heart breaking.. not shaming anyone
@redleeks62538 ай бұрын
@dakotamabry1645 horrible
@spongebobcirclepants38437 ай бұрын
Really most people don’t think of the actual child like how would my child feel not having a father and seeing other people with one what if my child struggles in life mentally, physically or emotionally would my child like the lifestyle we lead what if they run into trouble and I can’t get to them in time and I think it’s valid to live in fear when thinking of bringing a child in this world also this child is going to grow up and realize they were only a pawn in two irresponsible peoples life that were not given the life they deserved
@spongebobcirclepants38437 ай бұрын
Really most people don’t think of the actual child like how would my child feel not having a father and seeing other people with one what if my child struggles in life mentally, physically or emotionally would my child like the lifestyle we lead what if they run into trouble and I can’t get to them in time and I think it’s valid to live in fear when thinking of bringing a child in this world also this child is going to grow up and realize they were only a pawn in two irresponsible peoples life that were not given the life they deserved
@spongebobcirclepants38437 ай бұрын
Really most people don’t think of the actual child like how would my child feel not having a father and seeing other people with one what if my child struggles in life mentally, physically or emotionally would my child like the lifestyle we lead what if they run into trouble and I can’t get to them in time and I think it’s valid to live in fear when thinking of bringing a child in this world also this child is going to grow up and realize they were only a pawn in two irresponsible peoples life that were not given the life they deserved
@sd1660 Жыл бұрын
Me finishing up my three week paid vacation…no regrets. I work with children and love the role of auntie. My ex of 15 years wanted children but could not manage to feed the dog. I knew if I had children I would be doing it alone and working full time. It would be a prison. I have been to 45 countries, make six figures, and enjoy 2 months vacation a year. I have a great group of friends, hobbies, a full life. Middle aged and zero regrets.
@user-ip5fm3ck4p Жыл бұрын
Are you a speech pathologist by chance?
@Europa17498 ай бұрын
You are a smart thinker and didn't give in to what a lazy man wanted. Many women aren't so astute. Your life sounds wonderful.
@Mary-rf9tv2 ай бұрын
Beautiful life 🎉, 45 countries is a dream. I have been to 16 countries and have sadly slowed down now. Marriage sacrifices 😊
@amateurastronomer9752 Жыл бұрын
I chose not to have kids. I know I’ll probably regret it in the last 5-10 years of my life or so if I’m being honest. Like many other life regrets I’m sure to have, I’ll just have to live with it. I’d rather not have kids and regret it towards the end of my life than bring a kid in this world, regret it for the next 40 or so years while subjecting them to that regret.
@Aniexo_ Жыл бұрын
I thought that same. But I look at it as 50+ yrs of freedom vs 5-10 yrs of discomfort lol
@skadi6750 Жыл бұрын
The last years of our lives will be filled with self-defensive sentiment and bone-ache. I am NOT living my life in a way I dont want to NOW, just so I am slightly less bitter in those last few years. And I dont understand why people think opposite is a healthy logic:-D
@omowhanre Жыл бұрын
Interesting perspective
@YourMajesty143 Жыл бұрын
If you build enough of a life now with friends and family, your last years of life will still be full and happy. Every person has multiple opportunities to reinvent ourselves: 20, 40, 60, and 80. So life isn't over just bc you got old. That's why senior citizens go back to college, learn a language, take up a hobby like gardening or find a charity/non-profit to volunteer at. Idk why people think the final years are a death sentence of doom. Those years aren't the end. The end is literally until the very last moments, not the last years. This would be your closing era, and so you need to make it a good ending full of laughter and peace. Kids aren't going to provide that, they don't even visit the nursing homes where they discard their elders. That's bc your kids will have their own lives, and not want the extra burden of caring for you. It's easier to just build acquaintances with those who share the same hobbies during that time of life. Plus it's less of an investment upfront. It costs $8000 just to go into labor in the US, and $300K+ just to raise each child. Friends are free and offer a mutual exchange in company and entertainment. It's the logical choice when you really think about it.
@sd1660 Жыл бұрын
😂😂 considering the amount of parents in care centers that has no one visiting them makes this justification for having kids crap.
@parklady4233 Жыл бұрын
Some women want children and are very maternal and some women are not and some women fall In between. I want women to do what is best for them!
@mercycunningham2813 Жыл бұрын
I'm childfree by choice. I made that choice when I was a teen and no regrets in my late fortys. My coworker has two kids, she has circles around her eyes, if her smartwatch tells her she had more than three hours deep sleep she feels acomplished. (And yes, the dad does help a lot.) I like my sleep and the ability to pack a bag and travel at a whim. I remember two situations with other coworkers that still make my bloodpreasure rise. One male one female. First one, I was in my twentys, she too and what she realy wanted was to be a stayathome mom with a guy who paid for everything. She asked me how many babys I wanted and I told her zero. The shock in her face. The arguments we all know. I bluntly told her I'd never have the patience thats needed with a child. I'd probably shake it or I'd hit it and it would not have a good live with a mom that hated it gutts. “But you'll love it once it's there.“ If I had a penny for every time I heard that one... I looked her and just told her no. End of discussion. “You are so childish.“ I was like wtf? An other female coworker stepped in. “No, Mercy is the mature one. She decided what is best for a child, in her case not having it. You decided she has to have one regadless the concequences it might have for the child. That's so irresponsible. “ Shut her up just fine. Years later a male coworker remaked that women seemed to be more and more unwilling to have children. I looked at him a d told him. “I wonder why? A woman has to risk her health and her body for a child. Yet she is in most cases the one who has to quit work or work less, which has concequences for her wealth and retirement. Children are expensive and need much care, provided in most cases mostly, guess by whom, the mom. And yes there is a dad, but if the dad decides to leave her, she is in a even worse situation as a single mom. She can't just leave like a guy if it's to much for her after the fact, and then the child suffers. I'm glad more women start to really think about the concequences for them and not giving in to the social norm.“ He made bugeyes. “I didn't mean you. I ment in general.“ So did I. If kids are for you, more power to you. If they aren't, you are a great woman, too.
@knmonlinemedia Жыл бұрын
her husband should have got a vasectomy if he didn't want any children.
@alweston016 ай бұрын
; Right, it’s not making much sense to me.
@user-ob7rg9ko8f11 ай бұрын
I've been a caregiver for 16years.....you can have kids and still be completely alone. I've seen it alot.
@user-do1qf8rm7b Жыл бұрын
My mom tells me all the time she didn’t want children and if she could go back she wouldn’t have any. I’m not hurt. I’m understanding. It was a different time. You did what was expected of you
@BellePM Жыл бұрын
mine too
@UniquelyHerz Жыл бұрын
Same with my mom, rest her soul
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
Yep. It didn't hurt my feelings when my mom said the same. I knew I wasn't having kids.
@Alexis-ec9cl9 ай бұрын
My mom says the same thing and highly suggests we don’t have any. We are 28,29&31 and all childfree
@Europa17498 ай бұрын
We mostly all had children back then; it was a given once you got married. I had two who are grown men now. They are both child free and I love their decision.
@sophiam9886 Жыл бұрын
The wom¤n whose husband left her after she had his child should've gave their son to him and walked away. Ain't no way I'd have kept that child and sacrificed my life to be a single mother. He'd be raising that boy alone if it was me!
@divalizzous9 ай бұрын
He played her and she allowed it. He wanted to be able to break her and he stuck around long enough to get her to go against herself. That baby was “mission accomplished” to him so he moved on to his next target - another child free woman to destroy.
@alweston016 ай бұрын
Agreed!!!!
@redlegend758010 ай бұрын
People have kids cause they are scared of being alone. That's the only argument I ever hear. "Who's going to surround you?" "Who's going to love you?" "Who's going to be there for you when you die" BRUH, it's okay to find happiness in a partner and some friends. The issue is they come and go for some parts of our lives, but you know what? You know what CAN'T leave your side, or atleast until they are 18 is a child. People consider having kids their ticket to always having someone around who would love them. It's wild how people will do anything to not feel alone.
@valeria821 Жыл бұрын
My grandma told me that I was 5 when I first told her I did not want children. I am now 42 and I have never changed my mind. It is so bad to be child free in my culture, than now when I get asked, I make them believe I was not physically able. That way they can pitty me and leave me alone. I have been happily married for almost 10 years and I LOVE my life. I travel, I love my careeer and my pets. And I love my freedom. That does not make me selfish. I am part of my village and help raise all 4 nieces and nephews. I love being the cool auntie and that is all I ever wanted to be ❤
@Europa17498 ай бұрын
You are the opposite of selfish.
@sidology1.011 ай бұрын
No one wants to talk how kids make the men switch up !! Married or not‼️‼️‼️
@Thatgirl12-fp3uq2 ай бұрын
You mean man child. Men raise to the occasion boys get jealous.
@myqueerplantfamily11 ай бұрын
Childfree people can technically change their mind at any time… if they want 😂 BUT once you make a human, you can never undo it. This seems so intuitive.
@marquita6583 Жыл бұрын
I am a mother, i was a teen mother, I have also had to bury a child, and as much as I love my children I really wish that I was more aware of the real reality of raising children! I make it my business now to inform young and young women to go out and learn and love yourself 1st! Being a mother is HARD, especially when you have no real tribe or community to help you.
@alexandraw.401211 ай бұрын
I have many friends who had kids when they were on the fence about it and are miserable. If there is any doubt in your mind about having kids, do not do it! I thought I wanted them for years. I never had any, thankfully. No regrets about it!
@divamarvalousoneal2454 Жыл бұрын
I went to school and practically most of the girls were pregnant at 15 and 16. Seeing them in pain and how their baby father's treated them. I knew it wasn't for me. The kids were bad as heck and they didn't care. Now that I'm older a lot of the guys I went to school with no longer have custody of these kids and washed their hands of them. It's a hard cycle and my crush even told me most of them became their own father and the cycle continued
@attitudeproblem6462 Жыл бұрын
I just had some fool attempt to convince me not three days ago that, supposedly, older child free Women are out here unaliving themselves like BirdBox.😒🙄 I’m like, where’d you get that? A christian publication?
@skadi6750 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, my colleague lately claimed he had a friend, who decided not to have kids and after 40 regretted it. So obviously, this incredibly detailed statistics means I will regret aswell:-D Obviously there is no way two different people can differ:-D
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
What about all the women who are mothers that do the same thing?
@katejohnson5083 Жыл бұрын
Why do you think that has anything to do with the Christian faith?
@kaylabean369311 ай бұрын
Not bird box lmaoooo, not all of us Christians are like that😭😭😂
@rochelleolivia11 ай бұрын
@@katejohnson5083because a lot of christians are pro-birth.
@maenad1231 Жыл бұрын
Excuse me while I sip my coffee in a peaceful home with the love of my life who got a vasectomy ☕️ 😌 Of course people who purposely avoided having children regret it less. People tend to not regret intentional living
@ayemiksenoj5254 Жыл бұрын
There's something this conversation doesn't and has never addressed: The reason why women regret having children now is because they have the freedom to choose to regret it! In past generations it wasn't an option. It wasn't a thought. It simply wasn't taught. Now women are being TAUGHT they have options and are taking full advantage of them and are SHOUTING the benefits from the rooftops while making other women, especially older women look at what they never even had the opportunity to consider. An for many... Its VERY VERY painful. I hope this conversation gets to change around where women who weren't TAUGHT get to talk about what was taken away from them. What they lost by never having the thought or the option to think about it...
@lanainauz7644 ай бұрын
If you don’t have children you are more likely to put time energy and effort into the other relationships in your life. You will not die alone, but instead of children around you , you will have friends and community if you put energy into that.
@nicandrews1370 Жыл бұрын
While everyone is focusing on unproblematic women who choose not to have children, they need to be focused on all the deadbeat fathers who are rotting away in assisted living homes by themselves. See, these men are fathers to AKA parents, and they also decided to abandon their children. They are now in their final years in life, and are lonely, and dying alone. Just a little proof to show that having children does not guarantee you will not die alone.
@T_Cup Жыл бұрын
In almost every case I've ever heard of someone stating that they regret having kids, it's rarely the kids themselves they regret, it's the lack of help they receive in raising said kids, particularly from their partners - usually ex-partners. And if it is the kids themselves, it's because they didn't have help raising a problem child and the problems then manifested into something more serious, so it still goes back to the lack of help, specifically parental help. In conclusion, even if you're a hundred percent sure your partner would be a great co-parent, that can change at any point
@MachineGunKali Жыл бұрын
In two months, I will be a 32 year old woman with no children. I have not one regret thus far. Living the child free life is amazing to me because I have the luxury of living how I want to live on my own terms. I don’t have to plan my job around the child, I don’t have to plan anything around a child actually. or anyone else. That’s the type of freedom that I want, for as long as possible. Seeing as how expensive things are these days, and how a lot of children are raised by people who have so much unhealed trauma from their childhood, choosing this life was very easy. I have a wonderful job that I love and that job has afforded me the life to be able to do what I please. Go where I please. Any activity that I want to engage in, I can, because I have more time due to not having children and money due to my career. I love it here.
@kittykatz4001 Жыл бұрын
2:21 in addition, men can still “op-out” of parenting and performing care, maintenance, upkeep of kids while STILL married to the mother. Men caring for and parenting their own children is ALWAYS optional! The courts can mandate that Father’s pay CS (which they can avoid paying, but I digress), but the courts can’t force them to co-parent, to shop for visitation. Yep. Men who are father’s STILL prefer cf women. I heard a male KZfaqr, who is an active, involved co-parent to his son say he prefers women who do not have any children!
@youareenough4978 Жыл бұрын
There are a lot of married single mothers.
@kittykatz4001 Жыл бұрын
@@youareenough4978 Yep. It’s really a thing! If you have children while married, I is likely it will ALL be on you.
@yudithcortorreal70378 ай бұрын
Men can say whatever they want, but one’s life shouldn’t depend on a man 😂. I would rather be single than dealing with a man nowadays. I don’t understand rush of getting married and all that crap I used to believe. There is no guarantee that a guy will be faithful and stay with a woman so why even spend all that money on getting married?
@PaisleyMarie808 ай бұрын
If I decide that I regret being child free, all adopt or foster. It's really the best and easiest decision to work with.
@netty51705 ай бұрын
Same! So many children don’t have a home.
@nicolesweere4182 Жыл бұрын
I decided at 5 years old that I never wanted kids. I'm 47 now and have never regretted it. Here's why: I wasn't happy as a child, so I didn't want to bring a child into this life just so they could be unhappy. I knew I could never be the kind of mother my mom was, who cooked every night, had us in church every Sunday, and every day very structured. I didn't want to be the fast-food mom who smoked and drank. I never found the right man to marry and have kids with - I knew I never wanted to take parenthood on by myself. I've always found kids and their activities to be excruciatingly boring. Teenagers typically suck really bad. I've always felt repulsed by the thought of pregnancy and motherhood. We're not all cut out for it. Those are some of my reasons why.
@Foreverbabironi11 ай бұрын
I have too many people around me having kids on a whim, while living in a studio, or someone’s living room. It’s wack. I plan to very carefully and preparedly adopt. Purposefully.
@AA-yc9dqАй бұрын
Poor kids😢
@CR-wk2re11 ай бұрын
If I were a man, I would want kids. As a woman...nah.
@kittykatz4001 Жыл бұрын
I don’t have child and I’m post menopausal. I do not regret being cf.
@squarebear619 Жыл бұрын
Honestly, between me and my 2 older siblings, none of us should have had kids. My sister is the only one who didn't. I had one and my bro 2. I've done extensive work to be the mother that I needed for my daughter. My daughter and I grew up together. We're very close and I do not regret her but I do regret how hard my life became after having her. I decided to divorce her father because I absolutely was not, and could not, take care of an actual baby, myself with my disability, and a grown man baby. His anger at me leaving him he decided to abandon my daughter. I'm lucky to have a village that includes my ex in-laws though so I'm much more free than most single parents and can come and go as I please. Which comes in clutch when I am sometimes hospitalized. Giving birth made my disability worse and since there arent any decent studies about birth and my disability it is something that we have had to find out the hard way. Too often these entitled parents are neglectful and only speak up about children being blessings because they are trying to convince themselves. I am glad that I will still be relatively young once my daughter is an adult.
@bryarrose713311 ай бұрын
My friend (who had 1 kiddo after a lot of thought and is a wonderful mother) told me once that she WISHED child free women would have kids because we’ve thought more about the well-being of our hypothetical kids than some parents do about their actual kids. She’s mostly joking, but I think she’s right that the mentality around having children should change to reflect the severity of the decision. I think it’d mean a lot less hate towards people who don’t want kids and a LOT more support systems for those who do. It truly takes a village and it’s tragic that a lot of women-including myself-choose to never be mothers because we fear the worst case scenario (being abandoned, no support, loss of identity, career shame etc). I’m not a gambling woman so I’ll settle for being the best auntie I can.
@greenytaddict Жыл бұрын
Now, now let's be real... some women actually regret having their kids, the situation they had their kids in and who they had their kids by.
@NeighborhoodWatchMann4 ай бұрын
As a man in my thirties who made the decision, I see people with kids when I'm walking, and I feel so blessed to be childless.
@pla482511 ай бұрын
I agree 100% as a 36 yr old woman whose child free I don’t like kids but scared to have them because once you become a parent you will become a parent for the rest of your life. Even if you don’t want to be apart of the child’s life and your ok with being a dead beat you can never go back to having 0 children
@karenabrams89869 ай бұрын
If the pro forced birth crowd want people to choose parenthood then it will need to be a rewarding experience. Currently it is a punishing experience. Especially forcing them through public school. I have a huge amount of regrets and trauma from the parenting experience. I have too many complaints to list here. I wish I had skipped it. Doing my best to get the job done, check as many boxes as I can and get the last ones to 18 which is in 1.5 years. I will never take my freedom or safety for granted again.
@pla482511 ай бұрын
If it’s ok for people to celebrate their marriage and children. It should also be ok for people celebrate being single or in a relationship but still child free. Both can be celebrated
@KandyGTV Жыл бұрын
I think if it were more financially affordable to have children more people would enjoy the process. I have one and I couldn't imagine having anymore because the financial sacrifices I have had to make as a single mother. Between motherhood and the economy I have been set back about 10 years. I will be spending my late 30's into my 40's trying to catch up, and paying my childs college fees.
@divalizzous9 ай бұрын
Why do you use the word “sacrifices” when parenting is a CHOICE? You’re not making “financial sacrifices” you are simply doing the job you signed up to do.
@ninanano8 ай бұрын
I’m in my early 20s and I work as a cashier at a supermarket, so I see a lot of families. It has happened a few times, maybe 4 or 5 (which is a lot tbh) but people, always the mothers, straight look at me after/while their child is having a tantrum and tell me “DON’T. HAVE. KIDS.”. One time a father chimed in and agreed.
@alexa42490 Жыл бұрын
Being that I'm aware of parents who regret having kids shows in their actions & facial expressions. Deep down it's a hard pill to swallow and I feel that it's a pride thing in not wanting to admit that they made a poor choice they can't undo. Being that I'm 33, I'm in no way jealous of women my age who have kids especially those who I know well such as colleagues & former high school classmates I graduated with 15 yrs ago. Having kids ages a woman among a myriad of disadvantages & sacrifices they have to give up to provide for another life. Being that I work in education at the high school level for 7 hours is more than enough for me to go home in peace, quiet, & a clean house. Side note: I've also seen the "I Regret Having Children" on Facebook & entries on Reddit where both regretful moms & dads are speaking out about how their kids shifted their life for the worse. This is saddening & my heart goes out to those who are undergoing hardship day by day working to survive & provide for their kids. It's just not worth it & I even told my class of 2023 high schoolers this past May to "don't have kids because you have a whole young life ahead of you. Don't waste your opportunity living for what other people say about how you should live your life."
@karanhdream11 ай бұрын
I have lost track of all the things I got told by people/my family when it comes to not wanting kids. Maybe I'd like to be a foster mom for older kids when I'm in my forties, in the meantime I'd like to be a teacher. But I don't want to be pregnant ever. People who don't want kids, it doesn't mean we despise them. Yes, some among us just don't like kids at all and that's fine too. Point is, know yourself and what will make you happy. I know I want to help kids, be the kind of adult I needed as teenager stuck in a situation of abuse who had no one to turn to. That would make me happy. But procreating will not and I know it won't.
@BlackandBlessed1007 ай бұрын
I am a 50-year-old woman with no children and no regrets. I love being child free. If I wanted children, they would be here 10 or 30 years ago. I have a community full of children That’s enough ❤ We should honor mothers every day How ever there are too many mothers are disrespected they are isolated, and they are poor and that’s not fair.
@moonyart Жыл бұрын
I personally dont like when people compare having kids to doing a face tattoo, even if they are childfree. You have a bunch of solutions for tattoos. Laser treatments and cover ups are very real and possible choices for tattoos but you cant laser off your kid or cover it up with a better one. I think that you should think a lot before having a tattoo ( specially face or hand tattoos) but at the end of the day, tattoos affect very little of your daily routine and responsibilities if it affects it at all. I think it minimizes what it actually is to regret being a parent. Its a choice you are daily confronted with and it gives your life daily struggles.
@jackred23626 ай бұрын
Even if you are financially secure, delayed it until your 30s have and amazing husband. You can still regret it.
@KeyaReneeMonroe10 ай бұрын
Speak for yourself. I regret it all. The decision, the process, the outcome and the long term stress is has come with. #motherhoodsucks
@ishkacarreon30792 ай бұрын
I am one and done woman. I do not regret hving my daughter. My partner is very helpful, unfortunately he wanted me to be the same person that I was pre baby. I nearly died during childbirth. He wanted more..I said nope no more. Let's say he was pissed. In the end I am happy I am one and done. Bc if I ever need to leave. It will be easier. He could not understand that my life nearly ending to bring life in..is not what I want to revisit again. Can me selfish id rather live.
@CapitanNaufrago Жыл бұрын
As a child-free woman in my mid 30s who's probably never going to have kids, I don't think feeling any sense of superiority about not having them is good. It's a decision among many others and doesn't make us better or worse. I think things like regret can be very circumstantial and nobody can fully predict how they will feel down the line. People that say they regret having them might feel differently later, and vice versa. We don't know and pretending you can predict your feelings years from now is pretty naive. I do think, given the state of the population pyramids in developed countries, that we should be very grateful to our friends that do decide it's the right thing for them, as the world and our quality of life would quickly decline without children and future generations, so thank God that many people are still having children and carrying the burden of it, good and bad. In return, we should do everything in our power to make sure the world is a better place for those children. I am grateful for parents and their children and very happy that they're happy. I hope all the struggling parents out there get into better situations that allow them to enjoy parenthood and for children to have happy childhoods. I think we should offer help to the people that are overwhelmed by parenthood and nonjudgmental support rather than seeing it as any kind of evidence that we "made the right choice". Why would our choice depend on their perceptions of their own experiences? Why would we need that validation if we are certain of our decision? It's also really weird to think that we would know whether we would regret it or not. We never went through the experience. It's just pure speculation by us because we don't really know. We are comparing something against nothing. They, on the other hand, do know. They know what it was like before and after, and the fact of the matter is many of them do not regret this. The only thing we do know is that we will never know and the real choice we are actually making is being ok with living with that uncertainty.
@DonutTalkToMe17 Жыл бұрын
This was a great read but there are many ladies with multiple kids who speak up, who do have the experience. Since ppl should be living in the present moment, their regret is judged by the now and then not by the now and future. I do understand if someone’s having a spiritual growth, they would eventually see the regret as a blessing but that’s subjective too. Uncertainty is whether or not you’d be a good parent that doesn’t pass down trauma…. Starting a family is definitely something ppl can be certain about. This isn’t the 1900s when ppl were able to afford 10 kids and when DV and mental illness wasn’t taken as seriously. Ppl who have kids need to consider whether they’re emotionally, mentally and financially stable for children. If no, it’s a ripple effect. Ppl see having kids very simply as if it’s not complex… look at the amount of delinquent teenagers in the US… Also, none of these women seem to be looking down on ppl with children but simply explaining their pov on the subject based off their personal experiences, choices, which are valid. Ppl (mainly men), for whatever reason have been looking down on child free women (rarely men). These women have the right to defend their choices as long as it’s done respectfully. Their perspective matters. I agree that we should appreciate the ppl who have kids, especially the ones putting in the work… some countries have more old than young. Big problem. However, we also know there are ppl that shouldn’t have kids but do. Some of the kids we are talking about are getting abused as we type away. (Your message about wanting blessings for them and their families was heartwarming, I second that). Id also like to add a prayer that the adults raising the next generation take the steps to heal from their childhood traumas so they can break their generational curses and raise healthy minded adults.
@FireSilver25 Жыл бұрын
47 years young and soooooooo grateful to my younger self for using condoms n pills! I have so much freedom, extra money, lots of friends, my own business, etc etc etc. I date because I actually like the man not because I have an agenda I’m trying to lock him into. I’ll live longer and be able to provide for my older self because I protected my lady parts. And yea, I had some cats. Cats are better companions than toxic men any day! And lower maintenance than kids. So are plants!
@amandasunshine2 Жыл бұрын
Most people dont regret their kids, they regret being parents.
@Childfree334 Жыл бұрын
What is the difference?
@amandasunshine2 Жыл бұрын
@@Childfree334 there's nuance in relationships. You can love someone and not want to be with someone. You can love your children and still not want to parent them. I love my ex husband, but he's my ex husband because I didn't want to parent him. He's still my best friend.
@sagthenaturalsiren5997 Жыл бұрын
Well tell that to all the women on Facebook that truly regret the children
@sagthenaturalsiren5997 Жыл бұрын
@@Childfree334they are assuming because they don’t like the truth
@amandasunshine2 Жыл бұрын
@@sagthenaturalsiren5997 I'm not denying there are people who genuinely do not like their kids and regret the actual child. I don't think that's the majority. And I was raised by a woman who resented me.
@PhotoJeticPoet9 ай бұрын
Nah cause i hear so many women say things like "I don't regret having my baby" or "none of my kids are mistakes" completely unprompted and unprovoked. If ya'll didn't regret the kid then why ya'll always gotta tell other people thay ya'll dont regret it? It's almost like ya'll don't wanna hear the bitter truth.
@vortexnebula08 ай бұрын
I personally think that because of this day and age, how hard it is to live, and how bad people are, having kids today is a death sentence, especially if you're a single parent. In this society, you can only be successful and have kids, is if you have a partner or a roommate. Rising inflations and a rapidly declining planet is enough of a reason to hold back on having a child, and focus on creating a better future with the idea that the next generation cannot struggle like we are now
@Blondie19826 ай бұрын
Having kids is a choice and not an obligation , don’t let other women gaslight you into thinking that it’s something you need to do . I’m 41 not married no kids and I am so absolutely happy and content with my life , best thing I ever did was not have kids !!
@sophiam9886 Жыл бұрын
I think the m&n are less regretful about having children because they do so much less for the children than the mother's do. Although, some do regret the children for financial reasons. Just listen to all of the millions of m¤les who complain about paying child support. Meanwhile, they're the ones that push wom&n into having a "family" but these m&n cannot seem to be able to sustain said "family" even if their very life depended on it! Some of these m&n are so entitled, manipulative, and spiteful, it is literally ASTOUNDING!
@ellaloc48 ай бұрын
I’m 33 childfree by choice and I am extremely happy and I don’t need children to have a fulfill life ❤️
@harleyquinn5774 Жыл бұрын
My mom had kids because an across the street neighbor called my mother selfish for being married for 4 years without any children to show for it. My mom is a Vulnerable Narcissist and due to her chronic toxic survival made and fear of how people perceive her (not the only symptoms of her pathology, but the two that are relevant to how she processed her neighbor’s accusation), she had children because she was genuinely terrified that if word got around that my parents had no children, my dad would lose his job and the grocery stores would ban them from entering so they couldn’t buy food.
@sidology1.011 ай бұрын
what? 😅
@RepentImmediately11 ай бұрын
Was she a narcissist or just dumb?
@kaleyum7788 ай бұрын
☺️☕️ childfreebie here I love the tea #theirreality
@garden_3130 Жыл бұрын
I can’t get over the fact that people do t see what this really about. It’s not even about the kids. It’s about the ugly scripted part of the human social construct that makes people feel the need to always have a way to contradict others especially in terms of any serious life decision (since it’s easier to pretend it’s justified) who they feel superior to regardless of their choice. I have met so many people who exemplify this perfectly that I can’t wrap my head around why it’s taking so long to come to this conclusion.
@Tee-Star Жыл бұрын
Its appalling how women will ALWAYS find a reason to fight and compete with eachother:"im better bc im childless, im betting because im a parent" Yuuuuukkk!!!
@carmenmonroe711 ай бұрын
I am baffled by the statement that once you become a parent, it's forever? Having a child by choice can end as well. Is anyone not aware that parents bury their children everyday? Nothing is permanent or forever or always goes the way it is planned. Just because you have children does not mean you will be happy forever. You may give birth to a bad seed (a problem child, a criminal etc.). Evil beings arrive here through the same birth canal as good beings. You can't predict the family you're choosing to create. Even if the child outlives the parent, it does not mean that child will take care of the parent later in life, or that they will visit their parents. It is NOT a guarantee that you will be taken care of the way you think you will. The children may move off to a different country, they may decide to not have children of their own and make you a grandparent. People live your own lives and quit placing your convictions, fears, dreams, choices, desires etc. on the lives of others.
@MR-dp9vx5 ай бұрын
As a mother of 3 now grown children, any “regret” has to do with the different phases. I have ZERO regrets for becoming a mother. Now that they’re grown, I find no better company than my children. I have a strong bond and beautiful relationship with all 3. No mother in my circle of fam and friends regrets having children. However, I do have 3 friends who decided they don’t want children (I respect that), only to find themselves in their 40’s and 50’s regretting that decision NOW that they get to witness the joy our now grown kids being to our lives. No one wants trials and tribulations and raising kids can feel nightmarish, BUT the storm shall pass. Zero regrets here. My children are my biggest accomplishment
@Lokian_Mermaid Жыл бұрын
Definitely! Parenthood isn't for everyone. So many ppl that should have remained childless have caused irreparable harm to their childrens mental health. I love children and desperately wanted them. I got to have two. But, I've never had a problem understanding that children isn't something everyone wants. Both of my children are high functioning on the autism spectrum. I certainly don't regret having them, but I became extra worried that I could never be good enough for THEM. They both love me like crazy, but no matter how much I do for them, it doesn't feel like enough. They're both very young adults now and doing well but I regret that I couldn't be perfect for them. Yes, nobody is perfect and feeling that way, I've set myself up for never feeling worthy; that's a mental paradox I struggle with all the time.
@bharris4517 Жыл бұрын
The first lady need to throw the baby to her ex! She’s better than me! I would’ve granted full custody to the father. What I look like being a single mom and raising a boy into a man?
@sophiam9886 Жыл бұрын
Exactly 👏 💯 ❗️
@miselmraovic72173 ай бұрын
I think the problem is that woman dont have as much support anymore with raising kids. In the past a whole " village" helped raise the child ( grandperents, aunties, friends, siblings) and now there is no village in this hyper individualistic world.
@Saberking8757 ай бұрын
Too bad we are never gonna hear from the parents who love raising a family, there too busy raising one
@alert-mercy Жыл бұрын
I'm childfree by choice BUT I always wanted children. i love kids. I just never met the right guy who I felt comfortable sharing a child with. one came close. I can barely let others look after/have any say about my pets, let alone let them impact my baby. It's interesting how people judge me...i was trying to be smart, have a steady income, a home, some wisdom, a good man to me and father to my babies...sometimes life doesn't work out how you expect it to. i even thought to adopt bcs it doesn't matter if i'm related by blood...it's just i never desperately wanted kids and now that i find myself with none...i really really love my life. also the way the world is nowadays makes me feel blessed to not have to worry about the sanity of my children. it's ok for us all to want different things in life, just wish people didn't feel the need to shame or judge others when their choices hurt no one.
@CordeliaWagner Жыл бұрын
The last video I watched 10 minutes ago was The Economist about "the biological clock". All comments came from men that women should have children at young age... Yikes.
@Neesa-bn6qz Жыл бұрын
I think this is an indicator of the failure of society (particularly American, not saying there are others that aren’t like us or worse). We have a lack of community, education, or support for parents like many other countries do. We don’t have maternal leave, we have very little education regarding caretaking, the fact our country is built for cars and not people. No wonder parents are so stressed and I feel that as well with 2 kids, I don’t blame my kids or regret them. I don’t deny it’s hard though, there’s such a lack of community and it’s difficult to absorb and apply information without a village. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs, mothers have extremely high levels of cortisol and isolation/loneliness which is what we now know is more deadly than smoking 15 packs of cigarettes per day. I do agree there are a lot of people who’ve had kids and do regret it because they didn’t think it through, no one helped think about it thoroughly first or unfortunate cases of rape. People can be child-free, that’s totally up to them. It’s nice our country can support that and it’s horribly sad seeing us collectively letting parents and children suffer along with people who suffer from mental illness, disabilities, homeless and more. We have so much resources to support all of us and it’s just sad, I see so many individuals and families becoming homeless in my city and it’s terrible.
@divalizzous9 ай бұрын
Having kids is a choice. Why do you think you are owed “community” - your word- b/c of a CHOICE YOU MADE? Society does not owe you accommodation to make your life easier b/c you made a decision w/o considering the realities of your environment. You knew America lacked your needs before giving birth and you CHOSE to give birth anyway. All choices have consequences.
@yvettevera3507 Жыл бұрын
Is there a 'study' about grown children who were raised by parents who regretted having them and didn't like them, how many chose to have or not have children themselves?
@dafni105656 ай бұрын
Im a single mom with 1 child. I honestly think most parents who regret it , they dont regret having a child but 'kids' as in multiples. Friends of mine and strangers have expressed to me how much harder it is with 2, 3 and more. They wish they only had 1 like me. I love my son , he literally saved my life. Hardest thing Ive done. But 1 and done! 💜
@PeriwinkleB11 ай бұрын
I’ve never purposely put myself in ANY situation I KNEW I would regret later. I’m far too self-aware and demanding for that. So deciding at 13 I wasn’t for parenthood was very easy. It’s the people around me that make staying Childfree hard without feeling “guilty” because I’m literally not fit for motherhood 😂