Find a real man

You’re also told the man is the one to have a family with but as you see he can’t handle family. So you want to guess why they made that lie??? The nuclear family they call it. Lol. Who wants to know why?

@@nothereyetlost I do 🤚🏾

I work with a bunch of men and I had went out to eat with 4 of them all of them said kids ruined their marriage

Thats why the LORD saw fit to not have me be a mother. Thank you LORD for the plans you had for me.

Smh

Wow. That's why married women and married mothers are called single married women and single married mothers. The husbands stay on vacation mode before and after the kids

The SAME reason why I opted out of marriage and having kids in the first damn place. 🙄😐🤦🏾‍♀️💯

Maybe give her the day off?

Yup.

Nah. Dude just wanted a family.

@@Zethisis25 He had one and he still left

@@Zethisis25he just wanted to abandon a family? What a POS. Imagine being stuck with someone like that for life because you had a kid with them.

That's just her (ex)husband. I know couples where mother required medical help for a long time, and fathers did well caring for children, taking care of their wife and work. Sure, it was very hard on them, but let's not be sexist, loyal men are out there.

​@@Zethisis25 Dude, youre absolutelyB S L O W 😆 He literally LEFT his family. You ok???

If that’s your goal then congrats you can maintain this easily by practicing safe sex for once in your life

I’m with it!!!

Facts

Child free ❤ 💃🏾

People who have kids don’t bother to think about that us childfree by choice women definitely have thought long and hard about whether or not we want kids. I always thought about if i even had the desire to be an actual mother. And my answer was no. Plus, i’m not affectionate and have a hard time being open with my feelings. I’m definitely not the type to comfort people because i’m too awkward around emotional people. And a kid definitely needs affection, ways of love to be shown to them along with alot of attention. Just horrible with all 3 of those things.

I have high anxiety already and fear what that would manifest into if I had a baby

Yes! And the kids would be miserable too, imagine living in a home where you’re not wanted .. so sad

My 4 kids are the greatest blessings of my life, they make my heart full and I don’t sorry because God has been good, he will protect the like he has always protected me.

@@JesusLovesYouSoMuch1 good for you! 👍🏾

​@@JesusLovesYouSoMuch1😂 you are crazy. Jesus aint real

Wow, that was so wise of you. And congratulations on your 50s🎉 just out of curiosity, how many cons and pros did you have? And would you mind sharing some of them? Also, how did your husband, family and community react to your decision?

​@dearbrave4183 My husband was initially on board with my childfree decision, but 4 years into the marriage, he changed his mind. I actually did get pregnant, but aborted it immediately. When I told him he became furious with me, so we got divorced. When I said childfree, I meant childfree. Anyway, he got with another woman and became a father. That baby wasn't even 4 months old and he tried to crawl back to me. He was over being a father just that fast. In any case, I just laughed at him and threw him a box of diapers. It was so satisfying. My family was fine with my decision to be childfree. My older sister is also childfree, but my oldest sister had six kids, my older brother has 4 kids, and my younger brother has 2 kids. I have enough nieces and nephews. My family is very chill and doesn't trip like that. We support each other in our life decisions. Two of my nieces and one of my nephews are talking about being childfree as well. As far as the community, I have gotten some shocked reactions when people find out I am childfree, but they don't say anything mean. I guess because they can tell I am a black woman with strong boundaries who takes no sh*t. People always know who they can clown, and I am not the one. As far as my pros and cons list, here are some: PROS 1. Having a cute little baby to play with and nuture 2. Social acceptance 3. Passing on wisdom and knowledge 4. Watching a child discover and grow 5. Maybe the child will be a positive catalyst for making the world a better place CONS 1. Pregnancy and childbirth 2. Loss of sleep 3. Loss of freedom 4. Very expensive 5. Being abandoned by the father to be a single mother 6. Growing apart from my husband because we now have a kid between us 7. Career advancement severely curtailed 8. Expense of childcare and uncertainty of having strangers watch your kids all day 9. So much danger for kids in the world 10. Climate change 11. Bullying 12. Horrible school system I could go on with the cons, but you get my drift.

There are drugs for everything in life but the best drugs are for childbirth. I am sorry for your loss but hbd

​@@Childfree334thank you so much for sharing the story. I'm especially inspired by how you stuck to your convictions on not having children. My favourite show is Bojack Horseman and the one storyline I live for is the one where chidlfree Diane discovers that she is pregnant and swiftly aborts, doesn't even second guess. Being childfree is not something one should every compromise on. You know if you're the child rearing type or not. I'm the latter and feel blessed to have been with my husband for almost 17 years without children and with no intention to change that.

@@Childfree334 thank you for sharing your story!❤️ I screenshoted and saved! I am sure your husband would have equally left, if you had kept the child, just like he did to the other woman. Your determination is admirable! I wish more women were more secure in their decisions and were willing to let go of the man if necessary. Sadly, many previously child free women have been guilted into having children just to keep the man, only to be left afterwards.

Walk away and start a new family too doing all the things they claimed to be hard.

These same men complain about how the court is set up to help the woman in a divorce. Gee I wonder why?

@@sm.9599exactlyyyyyy then have the audacity to piss and moan about a few hundred bucks a month in child support, IF THAT, and really wanna call it oppression. It’s pure delusion.

I walked away without feeling anything and I was a mom. I did not want children to begin with. Then I discovered I had been used for my uterus. My job was done the minute he popped out. I gave him and his mom a son. So I let them keep their son and walked. I then paid child support. It's not just a MEN thing, so cut that garbage out. Plenty of moms walk too.

​@@AshleySpeaks4Unot the majority only the effed up women does this

I will regret them struggling

I'm in my 40s, childfree, and have had a hysterectomy - which I had to fight to get because "I might change my mind". Not only did I *NOT* change my mind, but I'm still angry at the doctors who wouldn't do the surgery in my 30s, causing my medical problems to get much, MUCH worse. Thinking that women don't know their own minds ruined years of my life through haemorrhaging, chronic anaemia, and trips to the emergency room. Then I nearly bled out on the operating table because they left it so long. If you don't have a burning desire to have kids, don't listen to the naysayers.

You get still have kids until you go through menopause

@@gogetta6532. She had a hysterectomy. She can’t have babies without her uterus.

They should make that law for real. I bet you wouldn't see them dropping babies in every woman and leaving single moms all over the place. It will immediately hold them responsible..well at least financially.

Developed countries have public healthcare. No private hospital bills for childbirth.

​​@@CordeliaWagnerclearly she's talking about America where we cant afford prenatal care, hospital births and now can't get abortions when we don't want or cant afford pregnncies or kids.

It should also be a law that if you don't want to chance pregnancy, then just stay away from men. You don't have to give them access to your body in the first place to get you pregnant. See how that goes? I am all for women's empowerment, but we also need to take responsibility for our own reproductive choices. Celibacy and/or abstinence are options. If you must have s3x, vibrators and other s3x toys exist for a reason.

@@Childfree334I wish people were a bit more educated before saying stuff like this. I’m all for birth control for both genders because clearly women are blamed for having eggs and getting pregnant when men have sperm and usually get their partners pregnant even with the use of female birth control or condoms

You are a very smart and observant person. I also figured out marriage and motherhood were not in my future by watching my own mother and other women in my community. Sheer misery 😢😢😢

I also watched my mom and the women around me even the marriage didn't serve them they are just miserable then I decided tf no that is not my story.

Same!!! It’s a lot!! 🥰👏🏾💯

Right, I never want to suffer how my mother suffered alone. Seems torturous!

All you childless women will know what suffering is later in life in your elder life You dont have child or children for society but yourself

Glad you used your brain girlfriend 👍😂 what a relief I was in a similar situation

I’m just curious. How long were you with your ex and did you live together? Just wondering how long it took for you to see all that about him. I’m 32 and childfree. Even if I could afford it, or had the support, I’ve never wanted any. My rule is to date/ live with someone for a year first before any permanent decisions. Seems like enough time to see who a person really is and nothing makes that clearer than living together lol

Poor little dog.

@CordeliaWagner he's fine lol. I was fostering him, so I let them take him for almost 6 weeks while we were waiting for an adoptive family. He was taken care of, but it made them realize they weren't read for a baby. He's in his forever home now.

Good one. I realized I wouldn't handle motherhood when I adopted 2 cats, while living alone in a one-bedroom flat. I lasted about 5 months before I gave them away, cause they drove me completely insane.

I feel this on every level

Childe 😊right there with you

Same. Single, celibate since 2019 and also childfree, still have stress but nothing like a lot other people...

That’s all good unless ur mom is a narcissistic as f

This

Yes. I saw what my mother went through. Then I decided I want neither a man nor a child in my life.

My mother was divorced in 1960. My father had no interest in me, and I never saw him after I was 2 1/2. Her parents lived with us, so I had plenty of attention, but my mother had no life beyond work and family. I didn't want that. It turned out that my stable marriage ended. I tried to still have a life while raising my son. I guess I didn't do the best job, but I did the best I could and my mother did help me. My point is we can not predict the future, and if we believe we can avoid the single parent struggle, don't be so sure. I would have made different choices if I had known what was coming.

@@Lisa-mw6teyes I think we like to take ourself out of the equation and say that you never be me l. But I could some stuff is out off our control and men are flaky. My man would never and bam he is out here nevering. Luckily I had an active farther however there is no foolproof way to know if your husband/bf will be one.

Exactly and we should normalize having honest conversations with our support bases before having children. I was a lost, young single mother of two who are now 27 and 30. I told them to live their lives but do not bring me no babies to have to raise due to your poor life planning. I’m 49, finally I have time to even figure out who I really am on a deeper level. I’m happy and thankful to not be a grandmother yet because I’m still traumatized by being a young single mother. For the slow..of course if a baby was in tow you know I’d be the happiest most involved as the parents wanted me and needed me to be grandmother because now I’m fully aware of what NOT to do whilst raising children so of course I would play that role lovingly and thankfully. They wouldn’t even need daycare in the most vulnerable years as I’m a nurse , I do not trust people like that learned the hard way, so I can work nights or even work just weekends to free up my weekdays and care for the baby during the day….just not right now. Also I’m over people saying that all kids are gifts as some can be little tyrants, tbf that can often be linked back to the parenting. It’s the same for when people think all old people are these sweet folk handing out golf sized peppermints to two year olds subconsciously trying to weed out the weak. I need a vacation.😂

1% of the population is born as psychopaths. 1 in 100 children is just born evil. The movie "We need to talk about Kevin" shows the life of a mother of a child that is a psychopath. It's almost like a horror movie because that child is so cold and mean. But sadly that's a reality.

Agreed. Really that should be applied to dating and marriage. Always have an escape plan, you never know when you might need one.

A divorce could change everything. I have a friend going through it right now.

Your exactly right! I don’t have my dad or his side of the family, I don’t know who he is at all.. my mothers mom passed a couple years ago and her father died when she was 13 .. my mother is an ex addict and narcissist .. i figured I could still have a family but I wasn’t thinking about “support” it’s hard because my daughter wants family but I basically have none.. smh I guess I didn’t learn before because the state took my eldest child while I was in foster care and when they terminated my rights the judge said “ if I was to give you back your child and something happened to you where would your child go” and I honestly couldn’t answer that smh .. I was so drowned by depression of missing my first child that I slipped into wanting a child 8 or 9 years later .. my child DID help my depression, I quit cigarettes, we eat healthy so I have gained but it’s scary being alone with a child and of course expensive..

Lmao facts they paint it up and make it look pretty but it's not. A lot of mothers have regret and of course they're gonna say it's worth it but they look miserable. I think if more had an active father and more family help it would take the load off

It's the only thing they can console themselves by

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

This is a beautiful post with the unvarnished truth. Don't tell me something that makes you downright miserable is worth it. Actions convey the truth way more than words.

I think they say that but what they really mean is "I would prefer not to have children, but it's not the children's fault so I give my kids the love they deserve". So yes, they love them because they have to, and because obviously the kid cannot be blamed or hated just for existing, it wouldn't be fair. But the moms do abhor the experience itself. You can love your kids with all your heart and at the same time hate motherhood with all your being.

My mother told me the exact same thing.

Congratulations 🎊 and welcome to the Childfree For Life Club. 🎉💃🏾🍹

My biggest regret is not doing this in my 20s

Can i like this 235 times....damn i cant but this is Gold

Your comment is outstanding and very intelligent. You should start a youtube channel about this subject. Thank you.

Brava!!

So that's why women in my locality are more willing to be mothers. Where I live is a tight knit community and even though men don't help in child rearing, all the women and your parents help in child rearing.

@@Segen_Bell YES!!!! Raising ONE child alone is EXTREMELY difficult much less multiple.

Amazing comment! I have been thinking about this a lot recently and you articulated it perfectly!

Right? I left a comment here for someone who mentioned they wanted a team of boys and I wonder why? I know it might be biological, but I don't understand the strong desire beyond that. I NEVER wanted kids and still don't and i'm about to be 44.

I love this comment so much!🤣

Same. I knew I didn't want any kid since I was 15 aswell. I am 30 now and struggling to bet my tubes removed. No doctor accepts to do it.

Thank you for your honesty. Some people are meant to be parents because, like you, they go into it with eyes 👀 wide open. Many blessings to you and your kids!!! 😊

What if ur babies regret growing up? DO u ask them to do chores for u or go to work? I bet ur babies will grow up killing themselves, and u will have no babies left.

i think it would be awful to be a single mother if the man leaves or dies.

I had three kids and I regret it everyday. I wasn't ready. I let my ex pressure me into doing it unprotected and ended up with twins, then a third when he sabotaged my BC method of ovulation tracking. Every single day I regret losing my life. I feel dead. You must have a great support system and partner.

Thank you for your honesty!

Hi! Thank you for your honesty! I am genuinely curious.. you said, "And to think I wanted a football team of boys!" Looking back, what do you know contributed to your desire of "wanting a football team of boys?" I am always so curious about women's desire to have children. obvi, that gene skipped me bc i have NEVER felt the desire to have children!

I will be a first time mom soon, and knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have went through with this pregnancy. I’m only 19, but I always knew I didn’t want children, told the father of my child that and he got me pregnant anyways. I’m feeling anxious, and overwhelmed by everything. This pregnancy has been challenging, and I’ve had to go through it by myself, I have my mom, but she can only do so much. Anyways I wish someone from the jump could’ve told me not to go through with this. It sounds horrible to say, but it’s how I really feel 🤦🏽‍♀️

​@@RyuWillowsit's ok to feel anxiety. Just make sure your child never feels unwanted. Admit those feelings to other women but never to your child. I say that because my mother was very vocal about her regret having me and it has been terrible. You don't have to lie about your feelings, they're all valid, just confide in the right people ❤

@@vanessac1965 I actually had my babygirl 2 months ago, and though it’s challenging I love her dearly. And I’m glad that I had her, still wish I had more support, my mom is using again, I’m in school now and I’m just trying to push through .

I sadly have to Tell you black dont crack, that means you like 28-33jears so you have more time to have children hahhahahhaha. Funnyyy and tru

That "I would rather be no mum, than a bad one". This is why our society is full of broken people, a bunch of women pressured by society to have kids that they don't want to.

@@veronicamunoz31no it isn’t!! Our society is broken because of men! Even women who are good mothers have their children molested by some male. Men are the problem. I often wonder how this came to be that the ones meant to partner with women to raise families seems only capable of doing hateful things. You understand that bc it’s women’s natural assignment to protect children, molesting children is an attack on women. How did a woman hating creature get to exist of women are the guardians of humanity???

I had a traumatic childhood too and I think it actually helped me be a good mom. I made sure my kids felt loved and supported since they were born. Now they are grown and are amazing people who will be amazing parents themselves. The world needs all the good people it can get. My daughter just started teaching third grade and is now able to positively affect so many kids. It’s possible to break the cycle.

Ehh being a truly single mother is not something most women would want. Congrats on your successful birth & new baby! I hope you meet someone who complements your unique life

@@2okaycola not looking for anyone to complement my unique life. Baby and I are complete.

I was set up for IVF as well at 38 but I got pregnant naturally with my boyfriend. I was already set up to be a single mom and he is not in the picture and I am happy with that. Yes it's great having a partner however there are a lot of cons people don't realize when they have a child, no the guy might not show up and they still list the on the birth certificate. It got hard at year 3. I am a SAHM but he is going to a great preschool next week so things are looking back up. I had a great support system and money in the bank. I also waited until I was no longer selfish. I am already planning for our first trip's international in 2 years. I am excited for things to come with my mini me.

Wow. I was about to congratulate OP on her child before I read the words "I am more open, honest, patient, and caring." Those are the EXACT same things that breeders say to try and coerce childfree women into motherhood. So it took you pushing a baby out of your vagina to make you a better person? Somehow I think not. I actually feel sorry for your child. 😢

​@@chideniseeSo women who decide not to have children are "selfish" according to you. You also used the disgusting breeder term "mini me." If you think your kid is a mini YOU, that kid is in for a world of hurt when he/she tries to become their own person.

I'm jealous. My parents always wantes grandkids. Urgh. Ew.

@@taynahibanez9952 My mom wanted me to have kids before she passed away but my dad never cared if I did. If you don't want kids, don't do it. It's not for everyone. It's your life, not your parents.

@@misscleo_ Sure, I agree. My dad was upset, but nothing he could do about it. Lol. My mom respects cause she also can't do nothing about it. Children are not favors or gifts to others.

With bionanotechnology we should work to REVERSE AGING, and achieve LEV (Longevity Escape Velocity) so those of us who ALREADY exist (AND DESERVE to exist!) can LIVE FOREVER and LIVE YOUNG forever. And if we want to breed a few more people, then create ARTIFICIAL WOMBS so women won't suffer childbirth. We should fight to MAXIMIZE AS MUCH LABOR AS POSSIBLE BEING DONE BY ROBOTS. My biotechnology courses in community college 2007-2009 were taught by women and the vast majority of the students in the class were women. So I saw large support of bionanotechnology from women.

Totally. I always disliked children especially because I had to be around them as one.

Same. And i was a boring, goody goody, quiet kid.

I think people just want babies to have a piece of them on earth. I am childfree, but am satisfied with not having kids because it seems the bad outweighs the good. If I was a mother, I would probably be the best mother in the world. Being the best mother in the world means I would put my kids above anything. I would be extremely cautious as to which daycare I would take them to. I would make sure they are getting well balance meals. I would make sure they are respectful and raise them with morals. Just typing this is making me tired😂😂😂😂 Unless my spouse will financially and physically support our kids, I'm not having them.

I was baby trapped too. Men use US for uteruses-it's never talked about. I was involuntarily volunteered for the involuntary surrogacy program, as I call it.

How are you baby "trapped" if you willingly and knowingly had s3x with a man? How were you baby trapped if you made the conscious decision to go through with a 9 month pregnancy and childbirth? Were you r*ped? Was your birth control tampered with? Did he secretly remove his condom? If not, you were not trapped.

I thought I was the only mother who felt like this. Thank you so much, so much for writing this comment. It helps and as I cry I know am not alone in these feelings.

I’ll be a first time mom soon, and I’m going through this now. I told the father many times I didn’t want children. I’m only 19, and sometimes I just wish I got an abortion, because I’m not ready. But I didn’t want to deal with the feelings of regret.

Same here. Baby-trapped and I have one son. It's really hard. I'm tired. Especially working 3rd shift full time.

I have always known this and felt sorry for the way my mum's life was. None of what she experienced made it look like it was worth it.

Knowledge is power. Women and girls deserve to know the reality of motherhood, of pregnancy and what it does to you, of what post-partum looks like because let's be honnest, once the baby is delivered people dismiss the new mothers and stop caring. It's like we've served our purpose as baby making machines and after that we're on our own... It's high time we stop considering these topics as taboo and start normalizing conversations and proper education about them.

Parents in Disney movies mostly die or are already dead. Just saying 😂

I'm trying to think of a Disney Princess who actually even has a mother. They are all raised by their fathers and the mothers are dead.

@@rowantic6539 that is so true! Lol

And mentally/emotionally sound. Which money can afford lol

You need a good support system of people u can trust more than you need money.

​@@hlengiwemasondo2858OP is correct. Money can buy a hell of a support system.

@@hlengiwemasondo2858 Yes but money can also buy the support you need.

I hope you don’t babysit for free

@@strawberribubbletea girl yes I did like I was obligated too because we were related smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ never again I was young myself

This. I knew at 15 i didn't want kids but I was an au pair. Best contraception.

@@Mermaiddhippie33stylish I can understand that I did too when I was younger then was like NEVER AGAIN lol it’s good you put up boundaries now

I somehow never made that connection..but I also was volunteered to babysit when I was younger And I don't want kids either.

Yesss! Same! 🥰🙌🏾💯

Omg I completely agree. I suffer with depression to the point of being on meds. My main reason for not having children is that i’ll most definitely develop post partum depression or physcosis.

Same, turning 33 this year

Okay this may not be a popular option but frankly I'm sick and tired of some women wining about how terrible it is to be a mother . And how they wish that they had never gotten pregnant . If you don't want to be a mother than be more responsible stop having unprotected sex . You control your body not the other way around . There are so many ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies that it's not even funny . And another thing you need to always remember ladies that this child did not ask to come into this world . Only to wind up with some wishy-washy mother who can't get her shit together . Second I don't know any woman in today's society who romantise pregnancy . Yeah they may not realize what they've gotten themselves into but trust me there will always be somebody around to give you a crash course on motherhood . The good the bad and the ugly of it and not all women struggle with motherhood but then some will . And yes children are expensive so if your one of those ladies who likes the latest and the greatest that's over . That child is your life and I don't mean until they turn eighteen you are a parent FOREVER get use to it . Lord knows it's not easy so if your not sure you can handle a child please don't get pregnant . It's not far to the child there are so many people out there that have no business bringing a child into this world . Children are a blessing but you have to be a responsible adult when you have them and understand that this child will be your main focus for the foreseeable future PERIOD . It takes patience and understanding because that little life will depend on you for everything including unconditional love . Is it worth having children absolutely they are our legacy our future . Without our children what would become of the human race .

Step up your communication skills then. Every thing in your life is a negotiation; demand more from your employer or walk to do it all alone. You decide

@@pamelacunningham7196yep. Kinda weird to be crying about how hard tis being a mama w one kid that is school aged becoming fully independent 😂😂 if you need life to be easier than that maybe get a pet fish or just quit crying about it bc God is listening

@@pamelacunningham7196 you're tired of hearing a different opinion that isn't how wonderful motherhood is , so you would rather have these women shut up so more women can get themselves into motherhood only to resent their children, instead of having regretful mothers warn the single women how difficult it is, so women can decide whether it's worth the risk? You're an incredible person. Or would you rather have a continuous generation of horrible resentful mothers who cause their sons and daughters mummy issues, because they smother and stunt their sons emotional and mental growth and mistreat their daughters turning them into traumatised and aggressive women like they are, all while saying they do all that because they love their children. And if you are worried about the human race , you should try to do your part to remedy to your worry. I saw a woman who had 50 children. How do you think society spread with only 1 man and 1 woman at the beginning? If you contributed a substantial amount of children, even if no other woman wanted to have children, trust me, you'll save the planet. So walk the talk and let others walk their talk too. Also just for your information, birth control mechanisms are not 100% pregnancy safe , they are 99% pregnancy safe. A lot of women have gotten pregnant while on birth control. Respectfully, I suggest, you mute all notifications from channels that disagree with your perspective and let no one disturb your reproduction, because if you haven't noticed, there are multiple single women who want to hear from regretful mothers and are very helpful for their honest opinion. Also, it's funny that you didn't disagree with what she said or mention that it's easier and show how it's easier. Instead you tried to guilt her, for saying the truth because it hurts your feelings and it may hurt children's feelings Well if you want to reduce the possibility of children's feelings being hurt, or your own feelings being hurt in the future, then you should be happy this information will help reduce the number of regretful mothers since less women will want to be mothers. Just simple math

@@2okaycola God is listening? Is God unaware that imprfect women make imprfect choices? You could love your child but still say how hard it is to raise them, and wish you never took that decision without measuring the cost and the consequences of your decision. If you think it's so easy, she said how she can't afford a nanny. Take the opportunity to reach out and show how easy it is. Until then, your intervention is unfounded and ignorant.

I’m so happy you stuck by what you wanted and didn’t let the pressure get to you. Although you may be hurting from the pain of peoples words, at least you are not living a life of regret. 😊

That’s because misery loves company. Those same women that told you you were wrong for not wanting kids wanted you to be miserable just like them. My mother does the same. If I were to take her relationship advice, I would be a miserable single mother with three different baby daddies just like her.

This happened to me too, sis. The women in my family shamed me for wanting to be single and not having kids when "everybody else" did, and now look at them. Scrambling to get out of their marriages with 6 kids. No shade AT ALL! BUT... what works for you doesn't work for me. Vice versa.

​@@Knottyautumnfucking same lol

I'm 41, black, childfree. I never have had a desire to have kids either. I still can't figure out what the appeal or big deal about having them is. They're cute sometimes, but that doesn't make it worth it to me what you have to do to concieve one, months of carrying a baby,extreme pain of childbirth, the baby's bodily functions and loud noises/cries, the costs of raising the kid, the messes they make, etc.

Thanks for sharing!

I’m sorry you have a useless husband.

I'm proud of you ❤

Misery loves company. Some women define their womanhood on their ability to birth a child for a man. Pleasing the role assigned by patriachy. Especially African women.

I will say I am financially independent and have an emotionally supportive family very close by. My son and I love spending time together and traveling, but I know most single mothers can’t do that.

same here.

then they wonder: why women doesnt want to commit? w-why they dont want kids? lol XD

If you still want kids you can try the sperm bank

Finding a quality partner is so exhausting. It's almost like calculus. 😢

@@valenciaorange2000 calculus might be easier tbh. Finding a partner is the hardest thing ever

There are no quality men under 35.@@valenciaorange2000

HAHA you're right. I think calculus and organic chemistry might be easier!@@DeematheFashionDesigner

Exactly! She’s just the baby mama to him, not an actual wife

You are in the right mindset. I have one that I love dearly but miss the worry free days

It's not selfish. It's the opposite of selfish. Bringing an innocent child into this world just to conform to society's standards and to achieve the "perfect life" aesthetic without really thinking about it is selfish.

"Consumes so much food" I have to laugh. My son was 10 lbs 2 feet long when born. He was eating pizza at 8 months old. He was always the biggest kid in the class. He eats constantly. IT NEVER ENDS!

Lmao how old were you when you had him

Women aren’t given that chance. Bc if they did they won’t have kids till very late and men need them go have kids very early, on the man’s timeline which is very different from the women’s, i chuckle at the obvious signs of brainwashed women like you where you’ve simply stopped thinking and accepted what you’re told as gospel, 😅😅😅

Oh you'll find a man who doesn't have a CURRENT child with him. As they abandon their responsibilities and take off after 3 years. So you can go travel with that guy since you won't even know he has a kid for months.

@@chrissyellem7397 did that happen to you? 🙈 I might consider a guy with grown up kids but if the mum is still in the picture it would depend what their relationship was like and whether the kids were nice people or not. I know the chances of finding a decent man in his forties with no kids is low and I’m not getting any younger either so I’m fine with the peace and being single over choosing anyone out of desperation!

Not that situation in particular but my ex left my son and I for the teacher next door. He became a nightmare for another 10 years towards us. He had kids with the 2nd cheater wife.@@LadyMarigoldWithers

I can relate to you!@@LadyMarigoldWithers

@@babyshooz I’m glad someone can 😂👍

Exactly they knew the risk I'm not talking about the ones where they used protection and it happened anyway I'm talking bout the ones that planned it

They are just as delusional as the men they have children with ....

I would agree with you , I was childfree up until 27 but it really is never told to you how much of yourself is truly sacrificed and to be honest even if my son is grown theirs much more I will have to deal with as a result . As a mother that's living it , it's truly a miserable existence.. I didn't ask to be permanently injured , or to live with my parents , and even tried working for awhile along with my husband but affordable babysitting is hard to get at times and put us furthur in poverty.. no one deserves to be put down by your own parents while trying to take care of your own child . Nothing wrong with being child free, I sometimes wish I was. If I knew what I was signing on for in the first place would never have gotten pregnant despite the fact I do love my son .

​@dakotamabry1645 You qere never childfree. You were childless.

I get so sick of this "choosing the wrong mate" narrative when it comes to women. Nobody ever says that sh*t to men when relationships blow up in their faces.

YES and even men with money are monsters stop pretending, men are not capable of love, and they crack under pressure when it comes to child rearing, I have a daughter and I WILL NEVER throw my child to her father as crazy as it sounds but we live in a world where we can't trust our loved ones, they do wear masks for the mission only "put the cake in the oven"

What do you think we are? Mind readers? Unless you had a child with a devoted single dad YOU DON'T KNOW what that man will do when the child is born

If finding the right mate is hard, the pool of candidates were never supposed to be your mate in first place bc mates are supposed to be compatible, and things easy with them. If things are hard with the collective of males, the male population wasn’t your assigned mate. Not sure if what was conveyed well. I’m saying is the natural mate of women, or would be remarkably easy to find, remarkably easy to get along. It’s like how your body works without much difficulty. It’s because it was designed tone effortless. That’s now natural compatibility looks like. It is effortless.

I am allergic to cats.

@lisah8438 So don't get one. Simple 😅🤣 Do what's financially, physically, spiritually and emotionally beneficial and SATISFYING to you for the next 21 plus years of YOUR life, not someone else's life for once ♥️

Idc if you get a rat if you value your freedom don't have kids!!

​@@ceecee8924real

Which community?

@@nothereyetlostyou already know.

@@Shannon627 I do ? How do i know? Oh the ONE community that really doesn’t value children or plan for them responsibly? So…every patriarchal community??! That one?

I need friends like this. I don't want to be friends with moms. I don't like hearing mom stuff all the time and I don't like children

That said, I AM a mofo. 🤣😂 My second girlfriend was 21 or 22, I was 26. She was a teen mother who gave up her kid for adoption. Inexplicably, she was anti-abortion. But, at least she was an Animal Rights Vegan (ARV). we met at a SACA = Student Action Corps for Animals meeting. She approached ME. And I had two one-night flings with the one woman friend I mentioned.

Absolutely!!

And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my children. However, it’s not something people should do without a community around them. Parenting in isolation can be a nightmare and happens way more often than we think.