Few things you can do to represent a challenge is to stay busy, don’t be always available, have a hobby, learn and grow.

Why do we women always have to play mind games with men in order to get loved? Don't we deserve it already?

"Being a challenge" in the way he's describing is the exact same as having/ honoring your standards & boundaries. That's not the same as playing games unless you're intentionally using it to trap or manipulate. Higher standards make you a challenge automatically & the RIGHT guys will take notice, while most of the wrong ones will see themselves out.

If he loves you or wants you, he loves you and wants you, being a challenge or not. If he doesn't, let's stop breaking our heads and inventing games. There is no challenge at all if he is not into you or he stopped being into you.

He stopped chasing? Move on and forget him. Nothing works.

I’m going to do this. I’ve always been so accommodating and this time, I want someone to earn that side of me. No wonder the guys I reject tend to be the ones who chase me! And the ones I really like take me for granted.

I don’t do anything to attract a man. Let’s start from there! I’m myself and I’m not patient enough to check if a man is going to feel attracted by it or play games. I have this kind of personality and I’m single and always been single. I think we need start teaching the new generations of men to respect real women and make them understand women are not supposed to please them.

"More chemistry than a meth lab" 😂😂

im glad he left me. i know he wasn't treating me right but i didn't know how to react on that. i keep giving and giving, not realising, i lose myself. not ever doing that for a man who is not worthy, anymore.

God why does it all have to be so complicated 🙄🙄….why can’t two people show up as themselves with honest intentions and take it from there. It’s like you can’t be cold and distant but also have to be vulnerable but can’t show too much emotion and be too much!!! It seems impossible

Boundaries are not challenges. They are boundaries. Men who see them as challenges are the problem.

I think this is true for both parties. No one wants a clingy person by their side. We can be in love with someone but if that person is constantly gravitating around you, it's a lot of pressure and not healthy for any relationship, even only friendship So yes, don't ever lose yourself in any relationship

Some are asking why women have to “play these games”.. the truth is that when you learn to be independent and put yourself first, it becomes self acceptance and not a game. Women need to learn to be happy with who they are and then these things fall into place.

You're supposed to try to make him like you by acting like you don't like him much. Stay too busy to see him so he'll want to see you till you allow him to see you then he doesn't want to see you because he got to see you. Look, women. A man really likes you or he doesn't.

Ladies... ladies... I'm listening to this with new ears... Let's keep it real! If we are being our true selves 100% of the time, we are challenging one way or the other for men. That's just us. And if we're watering it down making it easy for them, it's usually because we want something. And if we want it too much?!?! We've taken away something we didn't realize they loved about us. Epiphany much.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Challenge accepted. We have been dating for two months. No sex, I put up my boundaries so we could connect on a emotional, personal level first. So glad I did I'm getting to know this amazing person I really feel close to. I think soon I will take it to the next level. But definitely don't had yourself on a silver platter straight away because you don't even know them yet at all!

I have been with my husband (my best friend) for 29 years and I still find your tips helpful, I think e ery relationship benefits from a bit of attention to keep things fresh. Thank you for your videos.

The best thing to do is let the situation be whatever it’s going to be, don’t have expectations, don’t ask serious questions, and don’t get emotionally attached! Works 100% of the time. He will chase you down cuz he doesn’t know where he stands with you and he’s going to be dying to know!

I love how real you are. Been together for 15 years and he still chases me

Honestly, the older I get, the more I realize that I only become what is labeled as “needy” or “whiny” when he’s not doing his part. If he’s treating me with respect, initiating conversations, helping out around the house, etc., I have no need to give him negative feedback. If a man doesn’t want a woman who only has eyes for him, who gives herself to him, it means he’s not mature enough, or hasn’t been with enough women, to appreciate and deserve it. That’s why going for older men can be a really good idea. The young ones are often too selfish and inexperienced to really appreciate a great woman. The one thing that really bothers me is being the only one who has to set boundaries. Women don’t feel comfortable doing it. We don’t like doing it. I wish men would stop drinking when on dates so they can think more with their heads and not other parts of their bodies, and be more helpful with not pushing boundaries when certain lines have already been discussed. If both people don’t rush the physical part, and they learn to care for each other’s hearts and minds, then women won’t feel so attached and start centering her world on him. Men need to help keep the boundaries that have been discussed. Both people are adults and should be able to respect one another.

I'm enjoying my single life, but I still watch your videos, I love them!!!! Great mature relationship/dating advices on every video!!! ❤ thank you Brian!!

I really wouldn't go through all this just to hang onto a man. Sounds exhausting. Rather would be single than play these games with guys...

When is the right one .. mean to be, believe me u don’t have to play games, healthy friendship and relationships flows naturally and little by little takes its place

Hi Bryan, I have been in touch with a man I liked for 10 months and we had 4 great 8 hour dates, nothing physical but I felt happy with him. Unfortunately he moved to another city for work and we haven't seen each other for 7 months now. A week ago he told me he started dating someone from work. Although we haven't been in a real relationship I felt so much hurt because we were talking to see each other again. I felt so sad and betrayed in a way. I told him how this made me feel and also that I can't stay in touch anymore. I miss him and it hurts but it felt like the right thing to do...

Well done Brian for hearing out women's comments and explaining better what you mean by being a challenge without playing games. Some men of the avoidant type might only chase because they like the challenge and not the lady. I also love the bullet points at the end, clear and concise!

Connect with our wise, with our heart and let it flow without neediness and understand we’re made of energy. With focus in pure feelings we’ll attract all prosperity we all deserve. Gratitude 💕 beautiful!

Pacing or matching is important as well as giving and receiving. Thank you!

Brian is such a gentleman as a coach.

It works the other way around too. I'm a woman and I need a challenge. But it's also an attachment style thing. People with an avoidant attachment style are attracted to connections where there is some kind of in built difficulty or 'challenge'. It's much more nuanced than "men" and "women" imo

Yes. Leave everything and focus on being a challenge because you are not in a relationship for mental peace, you need to create chaos to be loved. Life challenges are not enough, you need to fantasise challenges. Gosh!

Better be respected at all times,being loved or not.:)Self-respect is everything. 😇🙏❤️

you have a very sweet vibe, like an enthusiastic professor of love with spectacles on the tip of his nose and happy hand gestures as he talks about his latest discoveries. Btw why shouldn't people learn to say Geert? its not that hard. English speaking people can stretch a bit just like the non-English ones have had to!

humans crave for things which they cannot get . it is a demand and supply thing, give too much time and attention to men, they will take you for granted. so it is necessary to know when and how much to give so that there is always slightly less supply then demand 😅

Well I can say since we don't get your amazing videos regularly I'm definitely chasing after them! So excited to have another pop up!😁😜

I still think these are immature insecure men who will result in a toxic relationship. I had the love at first sight only after a few dates experience, he was worthy. We were together for three years. When the love at first sight is real you don’t have to challenge the guy you don’t have to play any gimmicks.

After 5 years of relationship.... I am all left with blames and criticism.... Criticism of being insecure... Of being overloving, over caring and prioritizing my love over myself..... Giving my 100% in every worst to worst condition and trying to understand him.... All i get is criticism for involving and creating issues in his life..... Presently dont know what to do..... Cant focus on anything

This is good stuff. I was chased by men for most of my life. I didn’t have to learn these things. But now I’m not free again and more mature. I like playing the love games. I wish I’d learned these things earlier.

My ex ( i left him ) always said i meant more to him because i was the only woman who did not sleep with him right away and it took him a long time to get to know me and get close to me ,so its true men will take a woman to bed on a first date but its the ones who take their time who stays on their mind. we didn't stay together just nota good match .very wise words mr nox xx

If I have to change myself this much to be in a successful relationship, then I would rather be on my own.

I love your explanations on what you mean. This makes so much sense❤ When I care for a man, I tell myself something fundamental inwardly: 'I get to choose if he meets my standards also.' Keeps me centered and knowing both of our equal worth❤

I totally agree, lack of respect. So they treat like this, without respect, and the love ends

I always love your videos. They are timely and informative... just what i need to bring me back to myself

I've been watching you for a while. I want to thank you. Watching your videos and hearing your advice really has helped me to make a better decision. Although I pretty much know what I should or shouldn't do. Hearing your advice and your thoughts on a situation helps seal my decisions.

Very correct . Thnx for this Bang on Advice. I think in all relationships it is imp to keep a certain amount of distance often. In great friendships, with cousins, siblings colleagues n office staff you must appear as a Challenge n not as if too available lady types

Challenge raises your value. ~ Brian Nox. 🙌

One thing I learn everyday is that "men love pain"

If he’s more interested in a challenge than he is in you, he’s not the right guy. I’m so tired of this twisted advice being given to women. Everyone should be authentic if a relationship is going to work. I’m not playing games to keep a guy’s attention

I wish every woman would see this.

Hi Brian, I've just discovered your channel and have really been enjoying your videos. They are insightful, very funny and truths we really need to hear and know about men. Thank you for taking that time to make these videos and add value to us all. Just wanted to let you know.

I love your deadpan humor. 😂 Trying desperately not to laugh too hard into my coffee.

The 20 secs bedroom " really " cracked my ribs 🤣🤣😩😩🤣🤣

If someone had told me this 20 years ago, my life had been totally different.

Women have it much harder in the game of love. Women outnumber men around the world. Women have to keep their man interested and chasing her even after the marriage ceremony. Whew! Relationships are work, work, work! Relationships are harder than losing weight and trigonometry.

I was committed to not losing myself after leaving a marriage where I experienced domestic violence. I made a list of the character traits I was looking for in future relationships. I made it clear what my boundaries were with the guy I started dating. Still fell off the cliff....

This was really helpful, especially the questions at the end. 💙

I have challenged men to be better in the past but they don't rise to meet it and complain instead. Hearing this I guess I've never encountered a mature man who was serious about a relationship.

even if this is old-fashion, I think this is still a very great test to measure his true intentions...thanks Brian...

It's so real when a man says it. Thanks.

I thought that dynamic in love was something from the past, that now as society we are beyond that those stupid games, apparently it still happens hahah I hate it

Brian Knox, where were you a decade ago?? 🥺🙏 This explains a LOT Thank you so much for your efforts. You really care💖 we are immensely grateful

I have noticed that when you show boundaries moest men run to the easy catch. That is the reality of dating in 2021. Your advice, while sound advice, does not apply in what I have seen in real life. :(

Chasing a person who is so much of a challenge that they are unattainable is an act of fear. This person fears a real relationship so much that they chase people they will never really have a relationship with.

I think this is crap. We don’t want to be a “challenge”. That means we as women are forfeiting our own pleasure. Plus society really gives us some shit for being “challenging”.

Thank you Brian for all you do! I never knew how powerful words of praise/compliments could be on a guy until I used them genuinely on my boss. Wow! I never got that kind of response from anyone else! Now I'm going to try implementing 'being or giving him a challenge.' I appreciate you! Lol.

Sounds exhausting 😱

Why I am not attracted to any men and I want them to leave me alone ? I feel like I don’t even care if they like me or not !

This has been very helpful! I kinda figured it out on my own before seeing this video, so now I'll see where this leads my relationship.

Another excellent video. I agree with all of your suggestions. I consider your videos to be teaching videos since you are teaching us something to apply to have wonderful relationships with ourselves and others. Setting boundaries with others while maintaining self-respect goes a long way toward self growth. I'm older and divorced, and recently bought my first house in a very rural setting. I only see people when I go to the city to get groceries or supplies. I love the solitude with my dog, yet I'd love companionship at times. There aren't too many choices where I am.

I've been ghosted by the same guy over and over again. I had enough... I don't care if he calls it mind game.

If you need to challenge the guy and think about it, then he just doesnt like you or respect you enough. Then you are dealing with a boy who uses women for fun. Also those challenges examples seem on edge, passive agressive.. Not a good advice. If sex is bad talk about it dont provoke.. Just the challenge thing in whole is not right. A girl can be interesting without playing mind games and provoking

More chemistry than a meth lab IM SCREAMING 😂😂😂

Time is gold for me😁 at the end of the day if both of you like each other with chemistry and enjoying time thats ok

And then men complain about women not being assertive or making the first move 🙄

you're humor is undeniable :D

I told my ex I don't like booty calls then he got pissed off and deleted me on his whatsapp contacts. It's been more than a month now and I haven't heard anything from him yet 😐

If you like the chase…buy a rifle and go deer hunting.

I can see this. It all makes sense! Even though I’ve lived with my fiancé for 4 years, I’ve always been a “challenge” to him. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I did this by just being myself and he naturally always wanted more. It was definitely more intense in the beginning but he still wants to do everything with me. He gets sad when I’m away for the day. I personally feel the same way about him and he’s always encouraging me to do better. I guess it works both way.

You are the best thing I have discovered this year! Thank you! 🥰🥰🤣🤣🤣

Hi Brian, just discovered your channel today, thanks so much for the insightful sharings!

We don’t communicate everyday but he still do his financial obligations to me and etc. This happened after he was moved to other work place.LDR since this year of january 2022. 5 years in relationship..i miss our everyday communication even we had our fights.

So spot on. I love your videos. 👏🏽

Thank you - I do way too much in relationships.

Yes , but of course, we always consider that there must be a balance in everything . Maybe too much challenges can be stressful .❤😊

Takes to much. I say if you’re meant to be your are. But I guess a little challenge is good.

I’m very impressed your understanding of women & your kind giving advice

You can love without being disrespected.:)

Once again you hit the spot! Thank you for your teachings, time and effort. Much appreciated 💚🤗🌴

I love your videos, I bought one of your books as a treat to myself...🥰❤

Sorry but if I can't be who I am without playing stupid mind games, then I'm just not interested.

This advice really helps after 5years being single i try to open and accept having date again but i feel these red flags already after 2to3 dates ggggrrrrr🙄

This is gold... ❤️

U speak like a poet ♥️

I really likes your antidotes and jokers always makes me laugh 😂

If a woman needs to watch this video to be that way... then it's a game, no inner value, no natural. She is expecting a result. And probably, too late for that guyif she is seeing this. It's wonderful to improve ourselves for the right reasons. But if you have to work too hard to be with someone in particular or to make him feel attracted to you... probably that is worthless and won't work. If the problem is that we can't find anyone, then we will have to ask ourselves some harsh, sincere questions, no Bambi movies. Or simply let it go.

Is there a way to start over if you realize (after a couple of years) this has happened?

I’m not gonna play games, I’m too busy for that. If we click, we click and we will take it slow and see where it leads. Otherwise, bye.

Sweet & wholesome & exceedingly kind, this guy. But also wise- holler till you’re blue in the face about ‘ugh, games’ & ‘I should be able to Just Be Myself!’, but it won’t change biology 😏

Can you give more examples of being vulnerable, showing interest but being a challenge?

Or you are such a challenge, they loose the courage to persue you ..

Thank you, Brian, great advice! 💓💓💓👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻