Child free women exist. People: your selfish Mom of one exist People: the child is lonely, have more Women with two kids exist People: but they are the same gender, have one maybe it will be a boy/girl. Dont you atleast want a big family? Women with five kids exist People: thats a lot of children, do you even give all your children enough attention?? Working mom exist People: so someone is raising your children while you're at work?? Single mom exists People: you should have chosen a better man. Children need their fathers All this to say you can never please anyone with your decision. Do what pleases you and what works for you ❤

💯 just because people have siblings doesn’t mean they will get along in adulthood.

My 10yr daughter and I have just come back from a luxury trip. One and done. We live a comfortable, easy life because I only have one. The soft parent life is real.

I am one and done, although it is not what I intended. I realized that this world and men are too dysfunctional for me to bring more people to this messed up society. I love my child, but I regret birthing her into this hell.

As an only child my mother was always very honest with me about motherhood. Also with the struggles she had. She always told me I don’t have to have children or marriage if I didn’t want it. I always had an option to choose.

As harrowing as pregnancy and childbirth is??? And the _audacity_ that people just expect Women to go through that over and over again…🤦🏾‍♀️

I am 1 & DONE. I had a C-section, major post partum depression, & I did not enjoy being pregnant due to stress. I love my 8 year old but I will NEVER do it again. (Mind you, I always dreamt of having a big family). Childbearing is not for the faint of heart 🙏🏽

Mine graduated university last year 🙌🏾🥂😎 🏖️ And she’s an entrepreneur 🤙🏾

Girl ion know how my mama had 8 of us. She was definitely unhinged 😂

Also, the ppl who be nudging women to have more kids should kuku open an international daycare/nanny agency😂😂😂😂

I'm an only child who gave birth to only one child. He is profoundly disabled and needs 24/7 care. I would have been selfish having another child, when I could barely tale care of my son. These people can shove it.

I'm a one and done mom to a now teen son. His father turned into a demon I never knew once I got pregnant and hasn't co-parented. Didnt want to run into another houdini evil man. Also, I never really thought beyond birth to 3. Reality hit I'm raising a whole human being to adulthood and that's a huge responsibility (when done properly), a responsibility I never truly contemplated the magnitude.

One and done here. I tried it. I did it. I love my baby but the lack of support I got during and after, let me know I will never do it again. I spoil her. Glad she's a girl. But nope.

I'm one and done....And I don't have ANY regrets..and..took measures to make sure it stayed that way...

One and done here! My son is EVERYTHING to me, and I am so lucky to have him. That said having children means a lot of personal sacrifice, and I hit my limit for that at one child. Money, time, attention, independence, freedom to do things spontaneously, ability to go out after 6pm, social life, hobbies, my body and on top of all that my sex and dating life have all been hugely impacted or completely sacrificed for my child. I haven’t dated in 7 years as I am worried my terrible taste in men will hurt my child. It’s a lot. And because of all this, and more, I’m done at one.

Are people having children to take care of them as they age?

The negativity associated with being "selfish" is so impressively stupid🙄 Think about it for 2 seconds. You are literally the ONLY person who can be selfish for you. You are the only person who fully understands your own physical, mental, and emotional abilities and limitations. You are the only person responsible for yourself. If you aren't being selfish then you are being very careless. Those advising us about OUR childbearing decisions do not have to live with the consequences of those decisions. WE do. I am the eldest girl of 11 siblings. While i love each of my siblings, and am greatful to have them in my life, our childhood was miserable. Our parents had more children than they could afford or had time to care for. By 9 I was tasked with so many of their parenting responsibilities (bottles, diapers, babysitting, meals). We grew up feeling emotionally neglected, and our parents rarely had time for us. As adults we are now all estranged from them. I feel like quantity is not the answer when the sacrifice is quality.

I'm one and done. Not only was pregnancy very dangerous, I amost died, i also realized i only have emotional resources for one child. The elders and their guilt tripping can go and give birth to as many children as they want

It's $15.99 for Hagandaz ice cream. Eggs are $11. Everything has doubled in price in less than four years. They have so many made up fees on power etc. Every single month it has increased for four years. Flour is now $5 for the smallest package. It's becoming cheaper to eat out than bulk buy and cook. TP is $25. Never mind if you have pets too. Oi!! Cat food $25. So either peeps have a trust fund or major inheritance or what. You're poor at $100k in any city. And not everyone wants to live in the middle of no where. You have to homeschool and that's mad expensive while still being made to pay for public school. Private school is a joke. They're so coddled.... So, who are your children going to play with. They're all on their phones. Have you met Milenial parents? It's like they're all still in HS, and their kids are beyond.....have you spent time with the youth of today? You can raise your child as well as you want, then they meet their peers and the what the what....starts. Parents are off planet and the booooo meeeers driving on the roads needs to stop. They think all the lanes are theirs, especially the passing lane, they go slow in the fast lane. So teaching your kid how to drive.....the elderly are 🚗 🧱 So, if you have lots of children, what third space you going to provide? They aren't all playing outside anymore. It seems unkind to bring anymore peeps here. Let's fix this place and then have children. Until then, just say none and done. 😊

My mom was a one and done back in the early 80s. She got a lot of push back about it. I’m childfree myself, and it’s interesting to see how we are changing culturally. Having children is such a personal decision and I’ve always felt like it’s 100% the women’s decision, regardless if they have a male partner or not.

I’m one and done. I wanted 2 but life circumstances prevented me from having 2 babies. But this is why you should just do what you want because people will criticize you regardless of what you do.

I’m one and done. I never wanted to be a mother and now that I have my son, confirms exactly why I never wanted children. Thank God he’s the best child I was given and he makes me being a mother easy….although it’s HARD!!!!!

My anesthesia wore off during my c-section after being given the max dose. So yeah, would NEVER risk that again. Now I'm glad I can devote all my resources to him bc college is expensive lol.

I do understand there are a multitude of reasons why some women are one and done. But as an abandoned only child whose mother started having strokes when I was 19....PLEASE either make arrangements for the future (because anything can happen) or have multiples. My mom ended up my responsibility. Im now 45 and struggling to take care of her! No major assistance/help! I mean, none! So, yeah, think of the possibility of you being ill in future and your only child suffering. Please, try to financially set up something (while you are young) to assist with the possibility of this happening in your future. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

I've realized that it's (almost) always people who don't have to birth or raise the kid(s)/ have a real relationship that want people to have them/have more than one.

I am an only child and I couldn’t imagine my childhood any other way. My mom only wanted one my dad got a vasectomy after I was born. I was and still am the apple of their eye I’m also a little spoiled but very well adjusted. I decided not to have any children and they are more than fine with that. They just want me to be happy. Great topic💕🌺💕

I didn’t intend to be a mom and wife, I was in school for musical theatre when my ex tried to trap me with baby. Fast forward 10 years, I have my beautiful one and only and he’s still a bum, but now with four other kids. Having a whole bunch of kids has never been appealing to me.

Uh, I got that so much, I would tell them, “Oh we can’t have any more. “. Now this was on purpose, but they didn’t need to know that, lol.

One is enough, I have one, and now she is 29 now❤️❤️❤️👍

I been waiting on this topic. I'm one and done. I love my daughter so that's enough for me. I'm building a stable life for her. We laugh and cry together. I'm honest with her about life. I'm sterile so no more babies for me.

I'm 59 and have a 39 yr old, i made the choice to stop after that. I came from a large family, all those other personalities got on my nerves growing up.😂 My daughter is also glad she was my only child especially when she would visit her cousins house. 😂 she'll got more brothers and sisters at their mother's house. 😂🎉

The one and done mothers that tickle me is the one with the one kid that over 18 , And mom is still gorgeous and youthful looking😂... all of them use Janet Jackson's as a example they're like yeah if I married a arab billionaire like Janet and absolutely needed to produce a heir other than that..NOPE 👍🏽

I am and One and Done of a beautiful 9 year-old little angel. Made it clear to my husband well before we got married and get shamed EVERYDAY by practically everyone else about us not having more. I take it on the chin and ask them all to kick rocks. Well except for my parents (I am still too scared of them😂).

One and done club here lol. It’s funny how other black women monitor my womb always asking why i only have one ? WTF?? My daughter is 28yrs old and she also is a one and done lol.

My sister and I are 1 and done. Best decision we ever made!!

Im a one and done. People told me I was selfish for not having a child. They told me I was selfish for not giving my child siblings. They told me I was putting too much responsibility on my sole child when I get old. But are those people going to do the doctor 's visits, late night feedings, diaper changes, child care? No, they aren't. Who says my child will take care of me when Im old? Who said I want that? No, thank you. As the poster said, I like the soft parent life. Post partum was crazy. I didn’t like delivering vaginally, scared of a C-section, I gain so much weight, my feet swelled, no thank you! I like to sleep and got the child suited for my personality the first time. Why roll the dice and end up with one that doesn't? Also, my child's father showed his whole dirty behind after I got pregnant. Left a bad taste in my soul. Im glad I did it, I don't want to do it again. We have a good life. It’s great. I also hate the school system, other people's parenting styles and a lot of the things attached to parenting. I also can't afford another child. Im good with one.

I'm not an only child but I think I can apply this for my mother. She wanted a child and got my brother and I on the same day😂 she refused because she thinks she will get other twins or triplets because she's also a twin and so is my grandma😂.

I am one and done. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I had to have an emergency cerclage at 20 weeks with my 2nd pregnancy. My child has plenty of cousins✌🏾 My child wasn't even a day old before people began to ask when the next one was coming🙄

The way it is out here financially, emotionally, how toxic people are etc …one and done or non is the best move! Idc I’m one and done as well. My son is finally 12 and becoming grown I couldn’t imagine doing that again. The weight gain, sleepless nights, crying… nah I’m good

My grandma had twelve kids and none of them are what I would consider having ideal family relationships. In other words, they are not close. It just breed jealousy, competition for parental love, less money spread between children… idk there is no guarantee they will even be friends or worse bad influence for each other.

One and done mama right here! You couldn’t pay me to have another child. Not because of the economy nor movements nor revoking of reproductive rights. Simply because I don’t want no damn more! I don’t regret my kid but the responsibility of one kid is more than enough and I have a very active coparent and village on both sides of the family. I saw someone comment about ‘soft parent life’ and baby I’ve had it for 13yrs. You can’t have that with multiples unless you have nannies and I don’t want those either. Forever #TeamOneAndDone 🥳 🥂

I had my first at 30, almost died had to have an emergency hysterectomy, so I think people should take the “mind your business” approach with this one.

I keep saying I was suppose to be one and done but was threaten to keep the second. Baby trap wasn’t fun. Love our kids but I was happy with one. He hated that I was thriving with one and with little too no help

My beautiful ladies❤️❤️❤️ all women are not mother hands, so do not feel bad when you are not one❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍

I'm a one and done parent. My daughter is 28 now. I decided on one because child's father dipped, watched friends and family with more than one and their kids were raising their siblings. Seen women struggle and I'm so good on more kids

I'm one and done. My son will be 16 in August. He's happy being the only child.

I am a childfree woman of a one and done single mother (my father died when I was only a baby) and of course when I was a kid I use to feel lonely and left out (if I’m being honest I still feel the same way as an adult sometimes) but I don’t blame my mother for her choice, if anything I COMMEND her on being able to know what she could and could not handle and doing what she saw fit for herself cause at the big age of 30 there’s no one in this world who could convince me to rent my womb/body to another human that’ll become a slave to society and its system, nope, aht aht, not with my precious egg/baby.. plus I gotta admit majority of motherhood doesn’t appeal to me, when I hang with my friends with kids I’m irritated 70% of the time lol ; get somebody else to do it!

I witnessed my Mom go thru so much ISH with the person she was married to! There were 5 children and he showed his ass on many occasions. I asked her one day, "why did you stay?" She said , because I had y'all kids and no real income. Those words have stuck with me til today! I have ONE CHILD and that's it! You women out there need to stop letting these damn men treat your body as if it's BURGER KING and start using BC!!!

I’m noticing a pattern in the comments with women. There are single parents. Every woman I know who have multiple kids and our happy as punch have supportive loving husbands. It is obvious that a man is a major factor in how women move. 🤷🏽‍♀️😔

Girl i have no kids and IM DONE! I raised my siblings, they were my birth control lol

Having 1 kid is so manageable. Still hard at times but me & my wife love it 😎

My sister and I fought so much during our childhood, but she's the closest person to me in the world now. God willing, I'll have multiple children who will support each other even better than she and I do, but that is my choice to make. Being childfree or having only one child is also a valid choice that can be made for any number of reasons. Everyone should do as they desire because having children out of obligation instead has created much of the brokenness we're dealing with today.

I had one and done. Did it right the first time no need for more. 😊 Lol my daughter loves this answer. She is now 23 and my favorite person in the world! I never thought about other people’s choices so no worries how many kids they do or don’t have.

I don’t want to be a wife or mother I want freedom

One and done and my son is my golden child so I’m good

I have one child who is 9 and so many people ask me when I'm going to have another one. I'm done it is so much easier and cheaper. She has friends and a baby cousin she'll be fine. And you can have siblings and still be lonely. And if your husband or baby father wanna act up and you need to leave guess what you only have one kid and not saddled with 2-3. You can't trust these men.

One and done .since 84. Never cared what anyone said .and I heard it all .but .our life was great then .and it still is .

These women are making sense. 8:09 😢 what this lady said about feeling bad about ur siblings’ dad(s) being better than yours makes u feel a certain way. I used to envy my older brother’s dad who has always been present in his life.

IM ALL ABOUT ME NOW......IVE SPENT ALL MY LIFE FROM IM TWENTY RAISING KIDS , HOUSE AND A DAM MAN.....I LOST MY SELF IN SUCH A SCAREY WAY.....I HAD GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT AND WAS SO STUCK IN ROBOT MODE .....FAST FORWARD TO TODAY I HAD TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN ON EVERY AND ANYONE WHO TRIES TO DUMP THIER LIFES GARBAGE ON ME.....IVE SPENT MY LIFE POURING INTO EVERYONE , I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH WEIGHT I HAD LOST , HOW MY BODY HAD CHANGED AND LOOKING DAM GOOD !!!!.....IVE SNAPPED OUT OF THE HAZE AND IM ALLLLLLL ABOUT ME , MIND BODY AND SOUL AND I REFUSE TO LET ANYONE EVER TAKE ME FROM THAT . LADIES DONT WASTE SO MANY YEARS , ITS JUST NOT FAIR .

I like to tell people I was fortunate to have a hysterectomy after my first.

Being an only child can be difficult - but I only think one and done is only a problem if the parents don’t make an effort to really socialize their child. As long as they are having a lot of activities with other kids and learning How to interact with people they’ll be just fine.

One and done. ✅

I'm an only child but for some reason this possibility doesn't cross people's minds. Instead they just put their feet in their mouths. Even friends of mine have said things like, "Oh my gosh, I could never have just one child! Only children tend to be messed up and spoiled." Then they look shocked when I tell them, "I'm an only child 😅." I really think it helps if your parents are there for you when you're a kid. I didn't feel lonely but I wasn't doted on 24/7 either. There has to be a balance.

I am a sister of somebody who resents the fact that I was even born. That person's kids also don't like each other. Your kids don't need siblings. They need a stable home where parents are happy and not overworked. They also need to be happy, and a sibling who abuses them verbally and physically is not what they need.

One and done works well for me! My patience has enough for her! She’s getting the best of everything that I can give. As a single mom, there are struggles but I know it would be nearly impossible for me to have two! She has cousins and friends…that’s good enough!

I think people should leave women alone. Child free, one child, a bus, who cares? This is your life do what’s best for you… actually do what you can afford!

I always wanted 2 children. I had my first child later in my reproductive years and caused me to have health issues, even 4 years after birth. The thought of having a 2nd pregnancy and birth terrified me, putting my body and health at risk, even though I really wanted another child. I think of the child I have now and feel that even though a sibling would be wonderful, having a mother who is ALIVE and able to care for her is the biggest priority. It's something I decided with a heavy heart but I will do everything to ensure my child is happy regardless of missing out on the sibling experience.

I'm one and done for several reasons. The biggest being that i don't have a proper village to help me with my daughter. So, it sucks when everything falls on me. I love my daughter but never imagined it would be this tough because i have several siblings but everyone is out for self. Sad part, is every one of my siblings is struggling. However, we all are acting like we are not. Smh...

I have 3 older brothers and I loveeee my siblings I love being the youngest and the only girl. So I was spoiled and had my own stuff.

Damn They’re upset over child free and the one & done women. This is crazy

You Hit The Bullseye Maria, A Sample Of Motherhood Is Enough For Me - I'm Not Going For The Main Course 😅😂❤

I have one child and don’t want no more

Capitalism demands we keep popping out babies, not actual concern for the existing child's boredom levels.

Its just never isn't enough , For the females of the 🌎 In this Man's Reasoning Mind's 🌎 . If its none ,one ect ect !! When someone ask you that question tell them all none of your damm business !!

This is my mom and I personally love the only child life ✨

My mom had 5 kids and struggled, so I always knew I didn’t want a lot of kids. I had my son at 21 and that scared me straight because I was in school. I remember people would always ask me when am I having another one and I would always think why?? I’m 39 and my son is almost 18, he’s been living with his dad in another state for the past 2 years, I still don’t know what to do with myself! lol

The only other thing I will say - Is that I have lost both of my parents - I have two siblings we have been often on estranged. Thankfully, I’m getting along well with one now, but the other one and I are not getting along. But I’m so grateful for both of them I think I would feel very alone without my parents if I didn’t have any siblings.

I want to bypass the trauma of pregnancy and delivery and adopt, abeg. That’s why I don’t get the vilification of women who use surrogate mothers. And it’s not about weight gain; that’s easy to tackle. Some women have permanent back pain and all these other issues that need plastic surgery to fix. And there’s no way *in hell* I’m going thru C-section. And I don’t wanna have my life on hold for kids. 😂 Me too, I want to dey travel whenever

I feel solidarity with the one and done girlies. You don't owe your child siblings. The one kid you have didn't ask to be here, and their nonexistent siblings didn't either. There is nothing wrong with being one and done.

A 9 year old still needs a baby sitter

I have 1,a son he is 20 years old.Life is calm,drama free,peaceful😊

There’s also a trend of women having children with a significant age gap. When I met my husband, I was a single mother of one. If I never met him, that would’ve been my only child ever. Now that I’m married and have help, I will have one more. That’s it. My son and his sibling will probably have a six year age gap. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I'm one and done! The minute I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I was it. So far, people haven't shamed me for my choices. ( At least not yet) 😂

9:31 I completely understand and agree. I’m more of an auntie/ godmother type 😂… I want to be able to give them back. I’m a great mom to my one but I can’t physically, financially, emotionally nor physiologically handle having another kid day in and day out.

We are a “Proud One and Done” couple🧔🏾‍♂️👩🏽‍🦱👧🏽❤️❤️❤️ however I still get friends, family, and complete strangers telling me I should have one more 🤦🏽‍♀️ I need for folks to mind their ovaries, and uterus leave mines alone 🙋🏽‍♀️✌🏽

It doesn't matter what decisions a woman makes, it will always be deemed 1. Selfish. 2. Her fault so ladies make the choices that are right for YOU! Don't worry about what people say, they don't feed you, they don't pay your bills.

I have a 9 year girl. I am one and done. Motherhood is beautiful, but i dont believe it's my calling to have more. I dont completely enjoy it all the time. I wouldn't trade my experience, but i don't need to experience it again lol.

I'm an only child and I have step siblings but I only see them when visiting. Honestly I'm so glad my mom only has me. I got to go some cool places thanks to a program in the city, I did travel a few times, I got good education, never went hungry. I did have to move different apartment a few times which sucked but that's life. I care a lot about having my own space and taking care of my stuff. I could never relate to others who usually fought with their siblings and didn't get along. It's nice coming home to quiet growing up. I always help my family out. I noticed most people with siblings always seem to fight and doesn't get along. Especially when older girls became parentified and forced to help raise their younger brothers or sister (my mom had siblings and was parentified when she was young so I assume it's why she stuck with one child, me). I've seen young women who were parentified become childfree. I'm glad the mothers are doing one and done because they will provide a better quality of life to their child especially with the inflation going on and wage stagnation. Plus having a child puts the body through so many stress.

Y'all a one-&-done, I'm a none-&-done. Lol. 😂 #Childfree! (*for life!*) I grew up as only child (*thank the lord*) and loved it! But personally, I'm childfree for life! I have an older sibling (*same dad, different moms*) but I never knew about him until I was about 11 or 12 and I never met him until I was 18 because 18 = legal adult! My father and brother DESPISE each other! My father wishes my brother was "unalive" and the irony is that my brother and I, BOTH DON'T WANT shit to do with our father! 🤦 So I'm good on the siblings! I don't want my body to go through the massive change! I love having my "twat" in tact! I'm broke and I have disabilities! Even if I wasn't disabled, I STILL DON'T need kids! I don't want my kid to work! I'm NOT creating a wage-slave! I agree with the ladies at 2:58 and at 6:23.

I was a one and done but God had other plans and here I am 10 years later #2 🙃spoiled her like crazy and she pretty much set up for future life events….different strokes for different folks I would have been fine with just 1 but I feel even more blessed I get to do it all over again because honestly there is no greater joy at the bottom line😅🥰🥰

Team one and done here and I despise when anyone tries to press my husband and I to have more. Like no, will you carry the chil, care for it, be there to raise it? Nope. Also, there are plenty of other kids for our daughter to play with. Shell be fine. ❤

I don’t get why people care !

Im a mother of a one shot deal

A big one is babysitting and daycare. People love watching one kid but most people do not want to watch 3 or more kids; and daycare for three kids is higher than college tuition and a mortgage combined!! I also did not like how my body changed during and after pregnancy and I did not enjoy the infant stage at all. My child is almost 4 and I love hanging with him now. I couldn't imagine starting all over again for another 3 years of madness, stress, and no sleep. Also traveling and going to amusement parks, etc. We spend so much money with just the three of us. Paying for 2,3, 4, 5 kids in this economy means you can't take your kids anywhere fun. And lastly, much like the woman in the video, I just don't think I'm really the type of woman who can live her entire life for kids. There are some women who don't mind the total and complete sacrifice of their identify and they love the idea of motherhood. I thought I was that woman too...until I had a baby lol. I love my son but I can't say I love motherhood like other women seem to. I'm happy that I had a child though and I get to experience how beautiful it is to watch a human being that I made grow up into his own little person (which is so cool) but I will never have another one, lol.

😂 “Im good I’m just emotional” me every month with fake tears lol!

Same 🙋🏾‍♀️

Im definitely headed this way. I will put my kid in activities and maybe even adopt another. But 2 births? 2 pregnancies... Idk about that 😂

I think I would've had a more peaceful life being an only child being that my brother was abusive from an early age. And now, in my adulthood, I'm paying $200/m for therapy because of PTSD. I'm child free at the moment but if I do have kids, the max is 2 but 1 would be fine if I decided I didn't want to do it again.

It’s not easy ooo!

7:35 Never have I ever thought about that mind 🤯… that wouldn’t necessarily keep me from from my son having a sep dad though even if we didn’t have more kids.