If they don't have money for cable, they shouldn't have cable

They are not retired. They are unemployed.

They had money. They spent it all. They aren't retired any more. The English came up with a word for this sort of situation: "No".

Cable is NOT a necessity! If they can't pay for cable, then they don't have cable.

I would RATHER work 60 hrs a week than ask someone for money.

Yikes. I’m 59. High school drop out. My biggest fear is being a burden on my daughter. Actually tomorrow I’m buying a House cash. Life Rule #1. You don’t borrow money from your children.

There's only one way to respond when people ask to borrow money. You say, "I was going to ask you the same thing".

Funny that you with the three small kids and new house didnt get any of the 'hundreds of thousands' that your mom in law inherited...so I would DEFINITELY keep the same energy

“I have a list of priorities, and my father in law is not high on that list”

Happened to me. My mother in law is a spender and was never involved in her marriage's finances. Father in law was a successful engineer, but never put money aside, really, then passed after 4 years of cancer (in France, health care is free, so it was no expense). Then she asked my husband to help keep her lifestyle the same after losing her husband's income. We had a baby and were living pretty tight. I stepped in and told her off. I told him he could decide to maintain her mother's delusion or keep his family. He chose his family. She learned over the next 15 years to manage her money. She resents me for it, but stepping in and telling her off saved my marriage.

Can’t even imagine a situation where a grown adult’s parents are actually asking their kids for money, especially knowing they have young children and just bought a house. Shame on them.

He blew his wife’s money. He needs to get a job.

"Either you have the money or you don't"............ I do have the money and you don't

I helped my in-laws out with money…ONCE. When I saw their lack of gratitude and sheer entitlement I said F-THEM. Will not happen again.

"Can you go back to work?" "Look, do you have the money or don't you?" That right there tells you these people shouldn't get a dime.

First your responsibility is your children, wife and home.

Imagine inheriting hundreds of thousands of dollars and blowing it all on oil margins... jeez people are crazy.

Your in-laws are more like out-laws

you aren't retired if you constantly have to borrow from others. you don't get to do that

If you’re broke you don’t need cable, if anything cable makes you more broke, mentally and the cost of it.

Give them NO money unless they are in a critical situation. They will learn they need to get jobs

To make a slight adjustment to an old saying: A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an obligation on mine.

Don’t let people feed off of you . You don’t work , you don’t eat . Take accountability for your decisions.

The inlaws will always use your wife against you. Indirect control is choice of weapon. This could cause a divorce.

Dave is spot on. They will not agree to a budget and if he doesn’t cut this off they will be asking for money forever.

This would be so humiliating to me, I'd rather take any job I could find and live in a cardboard box, than ask my children for money.

I actually like the idea of taking them over a bag of groceries from time to time. That would seem to make a useful point.

I’m 23, freshly graduated from college, very low debt and obsessed with watching The Dave Ramsey Show! Amazing tips! Using them to pay off my debt.

The second he said either you have it, or you don’t would have made the decision easy.

You have zero responsibility for them morally or any other way. I'm a 67 year old widow who stills works and would never ever ask my son for financial help ever! They got into this mess and they can get themselves out of it!

Relatives and "lending"😂 money...NEVER a good idea. My Mother in law announced that she was going to retire at 62 and asked what each child would "contribute " she was able bodied and could work...just didn't want to. And did so knowing my husband had just been laid off. Unreal.

Don’t enable then. Hate people that have the gall for asking for money

Never tell family or relatives or friends what you make. Jealousy happens when you do better than them.

Wow, they used the money for margin calls, they literally gambled their money away without taking responsibility for it. Crazy!

I had a homeless guy tell me he was retired after I pointed to the help wanted in the parkinglot when he me asked for money. I told him he retired too early.

It amazes me how many people will prioritize a luxury before making sure they have a roof over their heads.

This is good for adults with grown children too.

This is what I've been dealing with for years. My mother came into a large inheritance and blew it in less than a year. Refuses to go over her budget with me. Still expects me to bail her out of her bad decisions. She didn't like getting cut off. TOO BAD. Not my problem anymore. She committed identity theft on numerous family members over the years as well, including against ME. I'm so done.

If they don't have the money to be retired, they might just have to un-retire and get some jobs...

I would love to hear a follow-up about the in-laws. That is insane!!!!! How dare they feel entitled to his hard earned money.

It's unacceptable to take care of people who are unwilling to take care of themselves. Be the dope to do that and take all the consequences that come with it. It's not LOVING to enable irresponsible, victim, entitled, greedy behavior. It's the opposite. I have recently started listening to Ramsey and am so happy to hear people voice these same sentiments. Grow up. I can't do entitled idiots. Family or not.

In laws gambled their inheritance money away with the oil market and, they're mid 60s retired, and absolutely refuse to go back to work. They did not save up enough in their lifetime to date for retirement, the inheritance was their hail mary and they lost. Now expecting their children/Son in law who just got a house and has 3 children to go support them and are guilt tripping to get it.

Tell them they can go back to work and end it. Set the boundary now because if you let this go it will lead to a divorce. Saw this happen with a best friend of mine. He was very successful, married a woman a few years younger than him who was also successful but came from a poor family that had nothing and they basically saw him as the cash cow and started inserting themselves into the marriage left and right. Guilt trips about everything, turned his wife against him to try to get him to give them money and pay for things, etc. Since he had a nice house and they lived in a trailer park they expected him to set them up with a nice apartment, etc. Thankfully he realized it early(it also helped he found out his nurse wife was cheating on him with a doctor during her "late night" shift) and divorced her quickly, cut his losses and moved on.

He doesn't even owe them the conversation.

I would say "No" pretty easily! Not my responsibility to take care of irresponsible people!

This caller sounds genuine. Hope everything is ok for you, your wife and children.

Like Judge Judy tells her family when they ask for financial help. She asks them how badly they need the help because she will only help them once.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Go back to work pops.

We're about to see 1000x the number of people in this situation.

My In Laws: "We're broke and need money!" Me: "Sorry to hear that so am I haha"

My father in law is like this. Gambling addict who would love to get a revenue stream out of his daughter. Hell no. All of our extra resources will be going into our kid’s educations. Not his entertainment and continued bad habits. 🙅‍♀️ Our plan for him becoming helpless is to let the Drs in the ER figure it out and find a nursing home for him. He’s got no assets other than a car so Medicaid will cover it. Easy peasy.

Terrible when you’ve got arrogant family members. My brother has a very decent wage and if I was in trouble financially I would NEVER ask him for help. I would sort it myself and live within my means. The FIL should be ashamed. Great son-in-law though 👍🏼

The curse of money is the jealousy, envy, and (sometimes) entitlement others have regarding it. "You have it, and I don't, so you have to provide as I demand" ...... And the worst part is even when you help them, they will hate you and resent you for it.

Dude, you’re NOT one of your in-laws’ children! You’re responsible for taking care of your wife and kids. Period. These folks may be retired, but if they don’t plan to work then they’re another not so nice word ending in ed!

Always tell in-laws this, 'I'm sorry your in a spot. If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm total tapped out."

That sounds like the story a lady told me the other day saying her dad was asking for $1,000 to pay for his property taxes and when she bought a car instead because she needed transportation to and from work, her parents were upset she bought a car over paying for their property tax.

How awful to not only not leave anything for your children but also to act so entitled to your son in law’s income considering your daughter doesn’t even work!

Hungry isn't cable and vacation money. I make my kids learn responsibility by earning money and paying for their wants and eventually needs, but asking kids for money is insane. I'd work my old bones to death before asking them to pay for cable. Which I dont have anyways because it is stupid. I'm working too hard for TV.

Don’t throw good money after bad money. It would be a waste to give it to them.

So as of 7/31/2020 there are 34 thumbs down, meaning at least 34 people who listened to this, think that other people owe them something in this life to make up for their own mistakes...........sad.

Dave: -provides good advice Dr D: I like this guy

Say ‘NO’ . It’s not that hard. I’ve told my parents no. My dad is 76 and back at work due to his inability to control his finances.

Biggest mistake we make as our parents kids is we tell family our income. I keep telling im broke and my wife is broke!

Oil? Come on? They are not 25. They are 65! If they act like they are in their 20's then treat them that way, financially speaking. Give them an allowance based on a budget, if they play by your rule. Like Dave said, they need u as an auditor

It's sad when the children are more mature than the parents.

My parents to a tee. Wasted their money on booze and high living. Then they show up at my house and say, we're moving in. I told them they have to pay rent and utilities, like they did to me after I graduated high school and I was trying to pay for college on my own

"So, you want me to take money away from your grandchildren so you don't have to work anymore?"

I fear this with my parents. They are terrible at finances and use their credit cards without paying it off right away as if it is free money. As for me and my soon to be husband, we are both good at saving and being financially smart. I do not want them to think they can depend on me in the future because of their terrible financial mistakes. That is not my problem.

Don't give them your money. They're grown ups.

Never invite relatives to your home and never let them know what you do for a living. It’s worked for me and I’m very happy!

If you come to me asking for money, I do exactly what Dave said. I’ll help you, but I’m in control. We make a budget that I approve, I look at everything you spend money on and decide what stays and what goes. If you respond to my terms with “I don’t need your help” then I say “Then you don’t need my money. Best of luck.” I don’t care if they’re related to me or not.

Who has cable anymore? Most people I know have cut the cord and have a streaming service or two.

Dave he does not owe them anything not give them any money. They're grown adults they can figure it out but they don't seem to want to.

I'm on the same page with this guy. My father in law wants to retire with a twelve-year-old son still on his belt. He will get a $7,000 annual pension and he lives in San Jose, CA. He wants his daughter to buy him a house in San Jose. He's only 47 years old who has a 17 years old daughter who will go to college next year and a 12 years old kid and a wife that only makes 60k a year with no health insurance or any retirement plan on her behalf. I tried to talk him out for not quitting his job since all of his family members dependents on his insurance from his work.

"We're really unclear on what we should be doing as their children to guide them during this time." Step one: drive them to Wal-Mart Step two: show them what a greeter does Step three: help them fill out an application for employment.

Make sure the wife is 100% on the same page as you going in to that conversation. Don’t have her heart melt and end up 3 to 1.

Me and my wife decided long ago we don't want to be burdens on our children. We have taken steps to insure that doesn't happen short of a total collapse of our society. We will do everything to ensure our kids are successful and hopefully leave them with a substantial inheritance. All this comes from my wife's parents attitude towards us and money. Early in our marriage they took several thousands of dollars out of my wife's bank account that they had access to. We were newlyweds and stationed in Germany and had yet to make it back to the USA to change banking access. It caused a lot of turmoil in our young marriage and almost sunk us. Here we are 27 years later and it has served as an example for what we never want to impose on our own children. I still cannot understand how family can feel entitled to their own families money. One of the greatest sins a parent can impose on a child is to knowingly rob them of a future.

Geez… they could probably get on food stamps.. why should you provide them food. Foolish investing.

My story was just the opposite. We just got married and bought our first house. My in-laws were mega rich! I was a phone tech and one of my wife's uncle wanted me to help fix his phone problems for free. This uncle never worked a day in his life. I flat told him no.

We are retired --Must be something with that age group(60s) feeling entitled to their kids income.. My mother says the same thing 🙄

“Keith i like you” *awkward pause* “i-i like you too”🤣🤣🤣🤣

I listened to this out of curiosity and found that it supported what I had already decided to do with my In-Laws. While they currently have money, he won't when she passes, and she will shortly due to her health. Currently they are "too smart" to speak with us about their finances, so talking with them about it isn't an option, and won't be until SHTF. I have already had this conversation with my father, numerous times over the past 25 years, and as predicted, has decided to "manage his own money", which in reality he isn't. Early on he asked for money but stopped as the answer was consistently "only if you agree to our terms" to budget his income. Again, no dice. My priority is my family....end of story.

I needed this today. I can see that I'm headed towards needing to have a similar conversation with my own mother.

Problem is if their habits don’t change they will just keep coming back.

The only time my parents ever gave me money was 1 o’clock in the morning when I had to go 3 hours away to a hospital because my first born was premature! The ATM max was $400......my parents gave me $500 so I’d have enough.....I paid them back a few weeks later!! Oh my daughter did just fine.....now a junior in college!!!

Do not solve others problem by making them your problems!

Ive heard of quite a few "retired" couples or houses who haven't saved any money for property taxes, and are expecting a bailout

As Dave says, "NO" is a complete sentence!

It’s hard and a heavy burden however momma and daddy y’all gotta work. This is such a difficult conversation.

I've looked over people's finances when they ask for a "loan" and it's always the same problem...spending. The worst being a male single relative of my wife that's spending more than double the two of us do in a month. Why on earth would I ever give anyone money to fund a lifestyle significantly more lavish/wasteful than our own? BTW, we don't have cable either, not because we can't afford it but because it's not worth it at any price.

Wow I am here. I have covered the grandparents in their housing needs for 15 years. Fast forward to today and I provide the house, the utilities, the cell phone plan, and the property maintenance. Now I have 2 kids in college and one in high school. When do I get to say no? I feel good about my financial situation but they are still making stupid financial decisions.

We had this situation a couple of hears ago when my father in law died. Run!

Great conversation. This is about decency and self respect. And the lack of it -sadly.

Exactly why margin can be very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. If you don't know how to invest, you'll lose money, if you don't know and you use margin, you'll lose only faster

I use to have to borrow and hated it. Haven't borrowed in over a decade. Funny thing is people hated when I borrowed because I was constantly hunting them down to pay them back. They would say it feels like they owe me money.

I’m 63 woman, worked my whole life and still is, and would never ask or expect money from my kids! They are not entitled and need to get back to work and fix their own problems. Wow!

This is my greatest fear. Having to support my parents in their retirement because they didn't save enough. I'm in my early 20s, and my parents have 10 years from retirement, but I look at the cost of nursing homes, and medicare and the rising cost of goods and services and I'm panicking. I am so very scared. For them. For me.

he's defiantly not worried about the in-laws seeing this call on their computer or phones!

I’ve seen this pattern a lot with family members. It’s the wife’s parents who have moved in with their daughters family. I most cases the husband is the only one who works and in many cases the in-laws contribute nothing.

Dont lend money period! If the bank wont give it to them they are no good for it. My brother borrowed 3,000 from me, borrowed quite a bit from my sister, from my father, from my mother a huge sum in her old age,,none of us knew he was doing this to each of us at the same time. He then quit his good job took off and no one has seen him again. He needs to be in jail!