Story 1: AITA for telling my son’s birth mother that she can’t have my son back after giving him up? Story 2: 3:23 AITA for never telling my mom I’ve been talking to my brother? Story 3: 7:21 AITA for telling my daughter to stop crying because this wasn’t about her? Story 4: 11:11 AITA for telling my husbands sister in law that I don't trust her with my kids?

Wow, what’s with all these stories suddenly on Reddit with parents having “do-over” families, and being offended that the kids from their first marriage are upset?

For the second story just tell the mom that she should have thought about her relationship with Jess before he ran due to her not defending him.

3) I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP was still an angry AH. Why else would the wife be so fearful of his reaction? Another possibility is that the new wife could be stirring the pot. Can’t really figure out why it would be necessary to break the news in the daughters home.

A case in Malaysia just happened last month, the bio mother demand back the 6 yo and when she got the child back, she drowned the boy only after 3 months of having him.

Pretty sure the daughter's issue is that OP never thought anything was about her.

1. She gave him up, what was the agreement. This is why I don't like open adoptions. I hope OP has the right documentation for the adoption. This is going to be a long battle, so get your armor on. I bet the family will side with the kid ditcher. 2. Mom is an enabler and Jess did the right thing to move out. Great the brothers stayed in contact. 4. Ignorant people.

The commenter saying OP was the *A* for not letting SIL have kids may have been one of SIL friends or just the same type as SIL was. OP made it clear that SIL *did* know about the kids health issues and didn't respect them. Maybe tell her when the kids are old enough to make sound judgement and if SIL tries to force son to eat what he shouldn't, they can immediately contact somebody to get them away from her.

Story #1: NTA. If she knew she couldn't support the boy, why did she carry him to term? He's five, and she's been on and off present for 5 years, meaning she has done no raising of this kid. Coming into his life now that she has money is selfish, just like having him when she couldn't afford him was stupid. Story #1: NTA. If Jess wanted to talk to his mom, he would. But he didn't, so he clearly doesn't want the mom in his new life. She isn't welcome and she needs to accept it. The parents sucked and Jess had every right to peace out for his own mental well being. Story #3: YTA. Sounds like OP is trying to have a do-over family where the new wife and child aren't the recipient of the parent's bad behavior. OP needs to get his shit in check before the daughter, and maybe even the son lower their level of contact with him. Story #4: NTA. OP's son isn't a picky eater, he has a sensory disorder and his body doesn't process things the same way as other people's. Louise sounds like one of those people who simply refuses to listen because she thinks she knows more about a situation than she does.

I think with the Second Story I get the feeling that your mom went from one abusive relationship to another in the moment she stayed with your father with the moment he was like I'm not going anywhere. She basically let her child get emotionally and mentally abused and potentially physically abused and the moment your brother turned Eighteen with the moment he was on there. Your abuse may not be as severe as he is but I guarantee you it will soon. Bye-bye to you prepare yourself when you turn 18 and tell your mom that if you want to have a relationship with me and Jeff Dean you will one leave her husband when she turns 18 and to get into counseling and therapy to understand the severity of it and three fully apologize to Jeff in you and for tell the family the severity of the situations. Once she does all those things then you can tell her that but she needs to prove to you that. She may be an enabler but she's also a victim in this but not to the severity of what you guys want to do.

I told my FIL MANY, MANY times -with witnesses to NEVER mess with my pet bird. FIL has a habit of leaving bird cages open after cleaning them and since my bird was a grind finch instead of the canary types he had, she would land on the ground instead of flying to the referee, thus, the cat would get her (He isn't smart enough to clean the catering a closed room of lock the cat up). Well, one day I got back from college courses to find that my bird had, in fact, been eaten by the cat, all because my FIL just HAD to mess with my bird. When I angrilyconfronted him, you know what he said? He said, ' I DIDN'T KNOW! YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS COULD HAPPEN!' He remembered, he just chose to ignore my warnings and ultimately killed my bird, then tried to feign ignorance. So the SIL saying she 'Dosent Remember' is a giant load of HORSESHIT.

She told everyone at your daughter birthday??? Yea..... No. It was a set up.

The 17 y/o might be able to get out now. The police in their jurisdiction may not try to take a 17 year old back into the parents house. It's worth checking out. 8 months is a long time, and the element of surprise is lost if the person waits until their birthday.

Story 2 : the only aholes are the parents. Jess is a great brother because he didn't just abandon OP. And even if he did run away and not keep contact, I'd understand. I'm sure it was scary for Jess to run the risk of his mom finding him but he wanted to be there for his brother and took that risk.

That 2nd Story... Damn I feel bad for OP, I would have called CPS on that family

For the story about the kid with SPD: I also have sensory processing disorder and *starving* is EXACTLY what happened to ME, because my carers weren't bothered enough to provide food that I liked and that wasn't expired. I had such an awful relationship with food, I was 50lbs underweight at 16 and basically unvoluntarily anorexic. The way you parent your children will 100% affect them in the future. Always think about their well being first. Don't try to win petty fights with them just to have the last word. If, you're wrong, admit it, apologize and move the f*** on.

With the Last Story you need to basically tell your sister-in-law that can either go to sensitivity training and learn more about this or you can just keep her away from both of you and your kids because the more she begs the more she's going to be forceful in basically including them in her life. Be prepared to go no contact with not only your brother and sister-in-law do with the rest of your family as well if she doesn't back off

God how entitled people can be

13:41 Aaaaaand we found the aunt.

I'm confused on the last story when someone said YTA. I hate idiots who act like allergies exists.I personally have a Peanut allergy and myself and my family and people act like I'm lying like do I need to near death to prove it.The aunt will clearly starve her nephew. His feelings matter and not that aunts. Don't act offended when they say no. She doesn't understand despite multiple times. Either she stupid or forgetful. Not petty so Nta but people who are calling op a Ass is

Wow never been this early before. Thanks daylight savings for screwing up my sleep rhythm enough to be up now

Why do people have kids that they can’t afford?

Not the Ahole you are taking care of your child as you should. Just because she claims she doesnt remember the conversation doesnt mean it didnt happen

1:00 yeah man. The first 5 years are THE MOST CRITICAL

1st story: NTA. "cruel to keep her away from my son", lady, what the heck?! YOU GAVE HIM AWAY. Get a lawyer, I doubt she has ground to sue, but just in case. And cut this maniac out of your lives. Doesn't matter if it causes drama within husband's family 2nd story: NTA. He had a good reason to cut contact, an abuser dad and an useless mom with no spine. Do not give mom info nor your intention to leave, your mom may be hurt but she ask for it. 3rd story: YTA. Dude, what the hell. There were better way to calm your wife, instead you basically said "I will be a better dad and love the new kid", let alone the the "your freaking wife is the same age as your kid" 4th story: NTA. Ask BIL if he would let you either feed food his kids are allergic to or starve to death.

Do I understand it right? This sixty year old dude, visits his daughter to her birthday with his new wife, who is only 2 years older than is daughter and younger as his son, the new wife suddenly announce she is pregnant and then he comes with such a shitty talk right before his daughter, who clearly feels hurt because in her childhood she never had this from here dad. ....Shame on you, Dude. Shame on you

As a Father of two adopted children, you should never have allowed her visitation. She used you until she was able to afford the child. Get her out of the picture immediately. She will not stop. In her eyes you were just a temporary daycare. Get restraining order and inform the school. Kidnapping is not out of the question. And believe it or not if she takes you to court and gets the right judge you may not have a son much longer.

Honestly I wouldn’t even agree to joint custody with her let alone full.

Don't forget, people: Chris-Chan was a "do-over" baby.

Story 3: I have no problem with age-gap relationships. However a basic rule of thumb is, the partner should be older than the Child. Why tf is a 60yr old man dating someone 3yrs younger than his oldest son and 2yrs older than his daughter. That's gross tbh, she is young enough to be his middle child. If the age gap was like 20yrs or something 40-60 that could work, even though it might look questionable. 30 whole years tho!? Nasty, not surprised that OP is the A

Op 1... keep her away from that child. Should never been an open adoption. If I ever adopted a child, it would be a closed adoption.

Mom wants son back. She will kidnap the son all right. Not the way everybody else is talking a about it though. She will be the 'fun mom, the Disney mom' The adopted mom will be the disciplinarian mom. One day the kid is going to tell adopted mom that she isn't his 'real mom' he doesn't have to do what she tells him to do and he is going to want to go live with bio mom. She simply will usurp the adopted mom's role and from that point on it will just go downhill. I am totally against open adoptions for this reason. Adoption is not advanced babysitting it is loving and raising a child. It is putting the child's best interest first. Adopted mom sounds like she is doing this. Bio mom is only thinking of herself. She thinks nothing of trying to take the child away from his happy home, disrupting his life and taking him away from his Dad, something she can't provide for him, at least at this time. I would see a lawyer, get an injunction or restraining order and if possible move as far away as possible from bio mom telling no one where they are moving. I would also tell son he is adopted and that his bio mom is trying to take him away after she gave him up for adoption and that she isn't thinking about son but selfishly thinking about herself that she wants to take him away from his mother and his father who love him and want the best for him.

First story you need to tell your husband this is serious. She is going to do extreme psychological damage to this child. You need to tell her either stays as it has been or you stop seeing him. You’re not gonna mess with this kids mind. Protect your child at all costs!!!

1st Story: Nope. NTA. Don’t birth children into poverty and then be mad you can’t actually have them when you’re “ready”. Good for her for getting her shit together but her reward isn’t going to be the child she put up for adoption cause she couldn’t take care of him. Reality is harsh.

2. Enablers are worse than abusers, abusers have mental issues , enablers see everything and do nothing. NTA

I have something to say about the second story about the brothers. OP you do not have to wait until you turn 18 to move out. You can get emancipated. If you can prove abuse, it will be in the bag for you. I was in a similar situation. I did it and never looked back.

That one redditor at the near end who called Op the ahole : "Everyone is an idiot except me!"

14:06 Not letting him eat isn't the only way that aunt could harm him. Making negative comments about picky eaters in his presence is harmful too. What OP's doing is basically equivalent to a mom not letting a racist relative babysit her mixed child, or not letting a homophobe/transphobe babysit an LGBTQ child. She's making bigoted (ableist) comments about OP's child, ergo she should not be around him unless she can show good evidence that she's changed her viewpoint.

Jess sounds like a good big bro and OP is not the Ahole. The father is a total ahole and the fact the mother is did nothing to protect her kids fron that toxic human being makes her just as bad. "Jess" may have left, but at least he is trying to maintain a good relationship with OP and for that, he has my respect.

Story 1. This situation could escalate out of all proportion! Get legal advise, take precautions at the school and secure your house. Fire up your husband as she is his cousin to tell her the situation after taking legal advise. You should go for no contact but if that is not possible then only supervised and very short visits. Make everyone in the family aware of the situation so that they can be on guard. Best of Luck

1st story: Gotta love how these mothers think they can give away their kids as a free nannies and then pretend their kids don't matter and can claim them back as if they were property.

One problem in keeping bio-mom away is that her son, when older may want to connect with her. If he likes her ans hears she was banned from seing him he may turn against OP. Just noticed this story is 3 years old. Why keep them hanging about all that time?

If it's your legal son then don't do it

In regards to the story where the brother is still in contact with his older brother but never told his mother you did nothing wrong your older brother has a right to his privacy he made it clear that his contact information was for you and you only and he had no interest in having contact with his mother or stepfather. Our relationship is a two-way street you can’t force a relationship we’re only one person is interested in being in the relationship while your mother might want to see her other son he doesn’t wanna see her he’s 18 and has the ability to make that choice. Considering the fact that your mother is still with your father despite all of the abuse and the fact that one of her sons already left never to be heard from again and never wants to speak to her because of him and I’m sure she knows why he doesn’t wanna talk to her. No amount of apologies can make up for that especially when you still with that person and enabling them to continue to be abusive. If she was really sorry or devasted when your brother left she would have thrown your abusive dad out and done everything back then to try to repair the realtionship. She should have left before that she should have stuck up for her kids like a good decent mom would. By basically blaming you that she doesn’t have a relationship with your brother she can absolve herself of all of the reasons why he left and she doesn’t have a realtionship with him. She can dilute herself and other family members into believing that if you had only told them where he was she would’ve had a great relationship with him this whole time which everybody knows is not the case but apparently all of your family members would rather pretend that everything is peachy keen then address the elephant in the room that lead your brother to leave.

3rd story NTAH

you dont have the right to miss your kids after you spend years abusing them why cant those parents understand this ?????

To the kid whose brother, you are not the a..hole. You are honoring your brothers wishes. The rest of your family is irrelevant, they don't live in the home and only know what they're told or the condone it. Your mother's "sadness" is self inflicted.

story 3: YTA why do so many people think they can just have a do over family and pretend that the old one didn't exist?

Pretty easy to give these answers when you have time think about it.

I’m not sure how old OP is in the brother story but if he’s over 15 or 16 he might be able to get the cleared an emancipated minor which would make him a legal adult before he technically actually turns 18 which would mean that he would be able to choose to go live with his brother now as opposed to later as who knows how bad things will get now that mom has read these messages and share that information with the abusive father. I would look into that possibility ASAP. Your brother is a legal adult as well meaning that he theoretically could also get legal guardianship of you until you turn 18 provided really all you need to do is continue to go to school without issue.

Second story made me cry

If the bio mother in the first story actually cared about her child as more than an object to own, she'd know how damaging this is to a child. She needs to be put into permanent time-out. I wouldn't do this to a dog, let alone a human child. For the last story, a child's safety and health trumps an adult's ego EVERY SINGLE TIME!

I do feel bad for the first woman as sometimes we do things for our children that is extremely painful for us and we do this for their betterment but it is unfair to uproot this child and turn his world upside down simply because you are in a better position now it's sad but true. They should go ahead and cut contact with this woman for a while at the very least until she calms down and realizes that she is no longer than the mother.

Story number 1: You can't even treat a cat or dog like the bio mom did. Once you give something or someone up you lose all rights.

With the first story you're not in the wrong but you need to be prepared for your husband and some members of his family to basically undermine your role as the mother. In my point view on thinking he doesn't want to be a father anymore to this child and quite frankly and honestly he probably just wants you and him to end the legalization of the potential adoption or just not be his protectors anymore and let his mother happen which will do two major damage to him later on down the road. My advice is simple you eat to tell your husband will not giving him up and we're not going to play with his mental health to please her or you be prepared to send him divorce papers and send the rest of the message to his family that you undermine my words I will file for divorce and I will have you all banned from the school. In addition you need to remind this woman that just because you're able to find who take care of your child now doesn't mean she's your child anymore because quite frankly you gave up on him when he's being you wanted to focus more on yourself

I am annoyed of all this histories about this old farts hurting their kids, just because the kids are from their first marriage. Disgusting how this so call man always put their new younger wife and re-do kids above the kids and their feelings. Disgusting sleeping with a girl that sometimes is even younger than their own kids and put their kids down or ignore them.

9:12 is this guy serious? No wonder his daughter is such a brat

Story 2 you're mom did this to herself "don't make "dad" angry!"... How about you don't make your son angry?

13:41 Don’t worry guys it’s just wrextor the troll

Wth is a church-run insane asylum? Is that like a Jesus Camp thing or a Scientology type situation in which you're "free to leave as soon as you pass our test" thing?

Im on the bio moms side in this. It seems like she gave up the kid so he could have a better life that she couldn't provide and im sure that was a hard choice to make. She never abandoned the kid she just couldn't support him and now that she can it seems cruel to deny them a chance at being a family. Tuff situation tho i dont think anyone is wrong for feeling the way they feel

Story 3: YTA. It's gross that a dude in his 60s is having a kid with a woman whose 30.

Story 1: YATA now I don’t agree that your son should be calling her mom because that’s not what he grew up with but you shouldn’t blame her for giving him up because she couldn’t afford to take care of him it would have been selfish of her to keep him while she was still going to school hardly been able to afford herself but now she is able to take care of herself she should be able to see her son since it is an open adoption (still going by cousin of course). It doesn’t seem like she’s going to give up so get a lawyer figure out some type of custody even if it means she gets to have him once a month because you have to realize eventually you’re going to have to tell him that he’s adopted and you refused to let his biological mom see him because she wanted him in her life full time.

As an adopted person, I would have happily lived in a hut with my bio mom rather tham the rich monsters I ended up with. Had folks tried to help her instead of "rescuing" me, I might have had a less traumatic life experience. We always want our mommas. ALWAYS.

Hello. I are bob.

I will probably get blasted, but the story with the aunt and nephews. This food/smell disorder is new to me. I assume it is to the aunt. I would imagine she and the uncle even don't really understand it. Maybe it would be good to see if they would be willing to meet with the doctor or therapist and become educated before potentially having time alone w the boys. Remember I said potentially.

That woman is so messed up , I think she is the a hole because u cannot cut a relationship between a bio mom and a step mom , they should let her see him no matter what

Adoption is a permanent solution for a temporary problem

YTA. Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. He's not yours and never will be. If it really was about the best thing for the child, you'd have supported them to stay together like God intended, instead of helping yourself to someone else's child

3 story yta

First story isn't fair imo. Yeah she gave him up but its not like she was like "I dont want this dumb child". If she couldn't support herself what makes you think she could support a baby that's more expensive than herself? If anything it was better for her to have someone else that she trusts take care of her child than to have them suffer in a shitty house in shitty conditions, probably bouncing from place to place every so often. It aint right to restrict her from seeing the child she gave up knowing it would have a better upbringing. Especially if she has no ill will or hatred for the child or OP. But of course we don't know the full story or what was going on in anyone's head. But with the context provided...YTA.

Honestly the first story makes me lose some hope in humanity, the lady is wrong to ask for her son back but she did what was best for him first and then still wanted to see him after, it's not like she dumped the kid and vanished until she wanted him back she just knew she couldnt care for him at first and made the right choice but everyone jumps to shes a crazy monster instead of having sympathy

Story 3: Yes, YTA!🤯

To be super freaking clear. My Dad died when I was 20. I would rather an ininvolved dad than a dead one. And the daughter was TA. The Dad might also be TA, but he was trying to console his wife, and the parenting situation in SPECIFIC... he was NTA. So ew for all the comments.

Reddit is always against age gap relationships. Love is love no matter what.

Crying is always a manipulation tactic

Hi how are you doing tonight?

That's why adoption is a horrific permanent solution to an often temporary solution. When you "cut the woman off", you cut off the child. IT'S WRONG! #dontadopt #adoptiontrauma #familypreservation

Yay! First here!

First story the only reason she gave him up is because she didn't have the money to support him OP is an asshole for not letting her have HER kid

I'm 2nd

Wait 1st story is the couple gay or is op trans or is this a sweet home Alabama situation?

1st story is fxcked up. Not your kid, even if u adopt. Bio Mom was responsible

i gotta be the only one that doesn't understand the hate the 60yr old dude gets.. So he thought he didn't want any more children and his wife got nervous about telling him as she probably thought he would suggest abortion. She got really sick at his daughter's B-day party and had to come clean about it. Then he assures her that it's actually a happy surprise and that with age, he got to understand children a bit better. I'm guessing now he doesn't have to work as much, won't be as stressed, and will have a lot more time and finances to handle a child. Then the 28year old daughter cried because somehow she felt like her thunder was stolen and just heard her dad tell how great of a father he will be to the new child. What dad doesn't do this with pretty much any child? And it's great he assured his sick wife that everything will be OK and that both her and the child will be very loved. Throwing a tantrum at 28yrs old because your father finally has the time and resources to be a more attentive dad is pretty stupid.... VERY stupid actually.... she's 28... not 18.... if she were a teenager i would have understood... but she is a damn grown woman. did she really felt like she was neglected as a child? why didn't she say something before? And was it negligence or was he very busy in keeping a roof over his family's head and food on their plate? To me, it looks like the daughter is bitter that her father didn't had the time to spend with her and is promising to change that with this child. He is 60 for f**ks sakes... of course he has more time... and money... and not understanding that he's trying to calm down a worried and SICK woman is even more childish... The wife was clearly very sick and she had to say why at the daughter's house. Since she wasn't sure if he would suggest abortion or not, i'm 100% she wasn't eager of announcing it at someone else's home, without knowing her husband's reaction first. She most likely got very sick and started vomiting or something, which most than likely caused the husband to insist on calling an ambulance or something... and explaining WHY she was this sick was probably the only way to calm everyone down. So the wife was sick, worried, agitated, in a bad state, and the daughter walks in on their conversation and starts crying because her father is trying to calm down and assure his wife. They clearly went to have some privacy and the daughter followed... if they would have had this conversation in the middle of the party i MAYBE would have seen him as an A-hole... he already had to handle his sick wife and the grown daughter starts throwing a tantrum. i see nothing wrong with what he said... even if she had beef with him, that WASN'T the time to make it about her and act like a baby. Again.. if she was a teenager... then i would have understood... but 28 freaking years old? WTF.... 100% NTA

Am I the only person that thinks op is the asshole in Story 1

I've noticed that these guys are always quick to call out couples with a large age difference, despite both being consenting adults.

What is this hatered towards bio mother? :/ Her reasons to give her child for adoptionhave not been stated. All we know that she didnt have money yet everyone assumes she is some kind of a irresponsible monster. Good as well she could have loving partner until he died and she could be left pregnant and jobless. Giving away a child in a situation where you cant afford to feed it is a responsible action becouse otherwise child would suffer. Op is TA for treating her like a monster. I agree that its better for 5yo to not shake his world like this but bio mother deserves some compation. Solid conversation, therapy and maybe she would be able to watch her child from aside. If not than sure, cut her off but dont treat her like a villain for doing the right thing in a past -_-