Gross.

Story 4: NTA. She sounds very abusive and I suspect OPs self blaming is a result of her gaslighting. For those saying 50/50 is no big deal, then need to think about why the court made the split and the fact that her having equal custody gives her greater power to continue to abuse OP. I find it very disturbing how so many of the comments ignore her abusive behaviour.

What country or State do you live? You have three children by him, no question take him down get the money AND the house. Any problems he has are his problems.

NTA. That’s way too awkward, let her rent a place nearby. The children need to understand that things are different now; they will adjust. I see her using the kids to get you to spend money so she won’t have to. Don’t do it.

NTA You would have to be mad to allow two meth heads to have a key to your home. Keep your present arrangement and tell your former MIL to kick sand and give her daughter and her dope man the keys to her house.

😂😂😂 LITERALLY

R I G H T AITA sub's full of goofy mf's

@@Fr3elancerflorida the gender bias is on full display.

There misandrists

If any partner is screwing around, gets an STD, and infects their spouse, I feel like that's an automatic, "You're a terrible role model, and we should be careful how much time you spend with your kids." I don't care how "great" a mom they are, or how, "Involved," a dad; That is absolutely horrible behavior that should be factored in when determining custody.

@@dreamscomingtrue6424 the hell

I know this is old, but yeah. Courts don't give fathers greater than 50% custody without VERY good reason. The OP just did a bad job of explaining all this.

Yeah, the responses are largely biased garbage typical of people who believe men make poor single parents.

Those comment sounds like the typical people who thinks all mothers are angels that will never do something bad.

Its reddit what do you expect?

AITA is overrun with white knights and bitter women, atleast from what I heard and those YTA and ESH confirm it for me ...

Reddit.. stronghold of the white knights and the feminazis.

I THINK because he was denying the mother visitation because she was a shit wife and using the kids as pawns . But I don’t get ‘you both sound toxic’. Sounds like she was the cheater

Yeah he's nta in the last one the court decided he doesn't have to help her get more time. She probably wants it because she has to pay some form of child support.

@@aikikaname6508 also since she seems to have many new partners every once in a while it is no safe environment for a child

Yeah I don’t see how he was the toxic one. He told her his feelings, she said he was a prick but like, she’s the one who cheated and was a total shit partner. She gave him chlamydia, she’s the AH and I don’t blame him for keeping their daughter away from her.

Freal man. She cheated, gave dude chlamydia and is emotionally manipulating situations, and yet he's the asshole for sticking to their court agreement? I can't help but feel that if the genders were switched, the verdict would be clear.

If you’re a man on AITA someone no what the woman did will call an asshole for the stupidest reasons

@@anymous8407 this. Literally OP is working his butt off, while being away the toxic woman and somehow OP is still a bad guy because "the kid needs his/her mom"

@@strikeforce1500 And you rarely, if ever, hear people on AITA say "a kid needs *their* father*. A financier and provider, and any sucker with a woman that cheats...sure.

@@GLoLChibs also if it was a woman dealing with a cheating husband, they would all NOPE make him go to court. But expect OP to just roll over and give it to her. I've seen that bias myself. A man asks wife to renegotiate child support "Screw him, tell him to take it up with the judge". Bad enough woman turned this nation into a nanny state now they act like they don't need men at all since the judicial system is being the 'head of house hold' for them.

Someone a few rows up looked up the sexist ESH commenter and apparently she has a lot of hate towards men.

Dude the fact that you got people that are saying he's in the wrong it makes me wonder does she not want to pay him child support anymore or is she one of those people that's just so sick and tired of the courts basically telling her you can only see your child at this amount of time that she wants to share custody and let's be honest here she's not stable at all

It's about control and money 💰 She is not calling the shots, driving her crazy 😜

I can't believe ppl just totally overlooked the fact that she gave him the 👏👏👏

People are not hearing she keeps hounding him to get back together along with 50/50 he told her to take it up with her attorney it's not his responsibility to change anything.

@@steveyoung6083 I'm willing to bet she doesn't really want to get back together, she's just not getting her way and is hoping that a reconciliation of the relationship will help her move things in her favor.

Men are always some how at fault and no matter what a woman does she’s a victim

@@anymous8407 Yeah I’ve unfortunately seen enough of that. I mean besides family courts always being biased towards women, American pop culture essentially teaches people that a woman’s needs are the only needs that matter in a relationship and everything that goes wrong in a relationship is somehow the man’s fault. This being if the woman cheats, or if the woman is an abuser. There is always some warped logic to absolve her of any wrongdoing.

Yeah for real she trying to use him as a meal ticket and every time he says no then she asked to spend more time so she can go back to the courts get more custody and pay less and or get more in child support.

For real, everyone that said "she's not abusing the daughter" are dead wrong. The ex is abusive to OP and since OP isn't rolling over and being her safety net, willing to bet the ex would start manipulating the kid too to be against OP. She's verbally abusive, manipulative, selfish...qualities a kid shouldn't be around even if they are 'a good parent'... serial killers have been described as loving family people too, but you still wouldn't want your kids around them even if they never hurt kids.

@@GLoLChibs "She's verbally abusive, manipulative, selfish...qualities" that the other redditors share with her...

If things keep going the way they are in some places, one day all a woman has to do is bump into you in the street and and she can sue you for maintenance. The court will say "well she bumped into you in the street while having a certain lifestyle that she was accustomed too, so now she should be able to quit her job and you have to pay to maintain that lifestyle".

Yea, I'd never do so again. I didn't really ever want to get married & I knew that pretty early on. I was never one of those girls who planned my wedding in my head & was just waiting to insert the groom (my old roommate in college literally did this). My late husband, though, desperately wanted to get married. I was 23, I loved him & so I decided to say yes even though it wasn't really something I wanted to do. Turns out, I was correct about myself. I don't want to be on the hook for decisions I didn't make. I don't want to have to always compromise. I don't mind considering a partner but, in marriage, it seemed like I was always the one who had to sacrifice what I wanted even though he did do some sacrificing as well. He was more traditional than he led me to believe up until that point, even though there were major ways in which he wasn't at all traditional as well. I loved him a lot & I'll miss him the rest of my life but I'll never be a wife again. I meant my vows, though, so we were married for 14 years until a car accident on his way home from work a few years ago. If you aren't all in, do not do it. It can cause resentment & that isn't healthy for any relationship. My only advice, though, is be 100% upfront to anyone you start dating & make it one thousandth percent clear that you will NEVER change your mind about that decision for anyone. The reason I say that is that women are socialized to believe that no man ever wants to get married & that she'll need to convince you. Don't waste her time if she wants marriage & be suspicious if she initially tells you she does want to get married but she changes her mind after hearing that you don't ever want that because she will resent you if you don't then change your mind. Find out her thoughts about marriage before you explain yours so you know she isn't just agreeing & biding her time. Relationships where you & your partner have different values about marriage, kids, finances or beliefs are very iffy & almost never work so it's best to find out each other's views on those things ASAP & move on if the other person wants something different than you do. If you handle it that way, nobody is the bad guy. If you or your partner lie about those core things in order to keep the other person with the intent of getting them to change their mind to what the other person wants, that's when it makes someone the bad guy. GOOD LUCK & I hope you find what you're looking for in a partner!

@@tazhienunurbusinezz1703 Thats a huge post! i read all of it too!! But i think it is a bit over-complicated.... overthinking relationships can also be a mistake. I do not think it is that complicated at all, it is quite simple actually.... you just have to be honest about yourself, that's it! The problem is that being honest about yourself is far easier said than done! lol.... Because it is hard to resist the temptation to present an image of ones self that is less than honest, and more designed to be what we think the partner will like - Because human beings don't like rejection, this is the underlying problem. But the truth is, finding the right partner is far more about rejection than people will like to admit, because rejection is necessary in order to move you along to the person who is the right person for you. If you embrace honesty, and embrace rejection, (both ways - giving and receiving rejection) you will greatly increase the chances of finding a more suitable match. But don't forget, even a perfect match is only the foundation of a good relationship, there is still allot more work to be done towards what type of relationship you build together, because it wont build itself!

@@mystikmind2005 It just goes to show you how stupid the justice system can really be. Especially when upheld by equally stupid judges.

@@dreamhobbiz And Judges are getting dumber by the second.... look at this story; kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jtxojNSim5qtXac.html Ever seen the movie Idiocracy? It is a great depiction of where our modern society will soon be heading.... and with reality tv sucking the intelligence out of everyone, we will be arriving there much sooner than depicted in the movie.

Total Mysandrist?

@@dakotasan8719 IIRC her posts all have undertones that men = evil sexists. She's pretty much a low-key "feminist".

@@dakotasan8719 reverse misogynist lol

@@ChadDidNothingWrong It's called Misandry.

I agree there are always two sides of any story... I also always love that everyone tells the mothers to get child support and alimony instead trying spread the word of equality and self reliance. There is always a need for support but it is used as a weapon now days.

@@b-red9489 exactly

Two sides to every story. But a woman's story carries more weight. Even with all that proof she probably still has family members and friends believing he's TA.

@@markdsm-5157 I've seen a number of cases where even with that kind of evidence against her, the crazy ex-wives had the bloody law--cops, judge, prosecutor, and of course allll the social workers, domestic violence support people, rape crisis counselors, publicly-employed therapists*--on their side. Change your story about your ex raping you 3 times ma'am? It's a shame he proved you lied those first two times. Third time's the charm! Now when did you say this happened? Please don't let it change your affidavit if I happen to mention the only day he has no alibi was June 8th..." "Sir, as a judge I am disgusted by the violence we haven't been able to prove you committed. I'm also disgusted by your allegations of her physical abuse...I mean, yes, we've all seen her open-hand slap you, backhand you, closed-fist punch you in the face, stomach, and balls, not to mention the books she's thrown, and the time she stabbed you with a pencil, all right her in court but I'm overlooking all of those incidents, including chasing you around yelling "Get back here you little bitch! How dare you contradict me!" because those are all--obviously! haha!--the fear-driven reactions of a mortally terrified abuse victim." I'm exaggerating only slightly. The judge's reasoning was actually something I read about in a friend's write-up of her friend's 8 years of being stalked, falsely accused, falsely sued, and attacked by his ex. The 3 lies the cops backed up/helped her correct is from a similar story. *These are professions dominated by hardcore feminist ideologues in many parts of the English-speaking world, and probably Europe as well. Some of these professions were explicitly created by or in response to Feminist anti-male pressure groups. Many of the laws they use were written or proposed by NOW, such as VAWA, which replaced a 1983/4 law that was gender neutral. VAWA literally defines perpetrators as men, and victims as women. Ditto the vast majority of efforts in the US to stop 50/50 custody from being the legal default. This may sound extreme, but the evidence is public, voluminous, and only denied because either non-feminists don't know and think it sounds crazy; or when feminists realize it looks bad and deny it reflexively, or when they're so indoctrinated they don't even realize that there is anything political about Feminist dogma...they think it's just self-evident truth and goodness. It ain't, of course, in origin or development, in goals or methods, in rationalized outlook or emotional outlook.)

also if this is in the states if he lets these known drug addicts have the kids in their custody he could be on the hook for child endangerment I'd say he has to contact CPS and inform them that his ex is unfit to take care of the kids because meth is a highly dangerous drug and makes the users of it very dangerous and imagine they do that stuff around the kids or the kids get into and die

Courts being what they are, he took a fatherly role and wants to keep seeing them, so he might lose the house no matter what. Depending upon the exact suituation with the kids he might even owe child support.

The first story. If this guy is not the winner he is the leading candidate for dumbest man on Earth. This guy is using his house and that woman's daughters to keep her with him. You want to break up with me but let your daughters stay with me. He know damn well that this woman is not moving out without her daughters. Since he is that incredibly lovesick she is correct, ask him to move. Simps will do anything she tell him to do. So, tell him to move out and most likely he will.

Who's name is on the deed? It sound like there is/was 30 days to find another residence. This is one of the problems with living together. There is little in the law, and there is no lease contract.

False accusations...as female-specializing divorce lawyers say, that's the silver bullet. But not all women, right? Sure. Still plenty of decent women who wouldn't set out to pauperize their ex-partners. But that ability is always there, ready to be used without personal consequences save the emotional. But, given human psychology, her one moment of weakness/vengefulness/whatever...? Once she acts, she will start unconsciously affirming that decision to herself and burying any and all guilt, even to the point of basically convincing herself he deserved it. If her guilt wins out and she tries to undo, the courts may not let her give back the house/lower the alimony/child support. At any rate, guilt usually takes decades to win out, so...you lose all your shit when you're 30 and get a half-assed apology and like $10k when you're 54? By which time she may have completely alienated your kids? Hard no.

Absolutely. The responses to that post were bs.

Because he is the man. People have more sympathy in general for women. I'm not saying this to be sexist, it's a bit of a psychological fact that people have naturally more empathy for women who struggle, than men. Although it's starting to change.

mom's on Child Support, 50/50 gets her off. it's a money issue

She gets 40% custody. She's not a man; she's not relegated to every weekend, 2 weeks in summer, and alternative Xmas and Thanksgiving.

@@Keiji555 Women generally have a roughly 3:1, 4:1 in-group bias. Men have a roughly 2:1 out-group bias in favor of women. Known for ages. Nobody talks about it. Very few women try to find out how that affects their judgment. I've known 1 who tried to alter her judgement to be more fair b/c of this.

No it's more like Story 4: my ex broke my finger cheated on me several times and left our baby behind at the park alone Reddit: Everyone sucks here somehow

That was the first thing that I thought. This chick thinks she’s slick. She’s just trying to get out of paying.

The dude is a SIMP, they dont know what that is

When I was a 10 year old who walked a block or three to school, the world was a much different place. It's a much different place from when my newly adult children were 10, as well. There's no way in h*ll I'd let a kid at that age watch themselves and two younger siblings, especially with a user for a parent. I also wouldn't give a key to the ex, because meth heads will steal your crap and help you look for it.

@@pansprayers completely agree. "It's a new day" but apparently so many think the "old rules" apply. I would not even want my teenage kids to be by themselves these days considering the horror stories I see and read about these days

"Story 1: Grow a backbone and stop thinking on spending MORE money on a women who your leaving." Correction, she is leaving him. So he thinks if he plays nice, she might take him back.... i been down that road, it is the suckers road. You gotta know that if a woman is willing to dump a man in those circumstances that is going to hugely disrupt the children's lives and not having any practical solutions on where to live, you gotta know that if she is dumping you under those circumstances, then she REALLY wants to dump you.... so you will want that woman gone and out of your life as quick as possible.

Its illegal til the kids are 13 years old in most states

Are you referring to the voice? That's a robot.

I really don’t understand “alimony”.... like either women are just as capable as men or they can’t do anything and need a damn allowance as a child The law really should make up its mind

@@Theproclaimed men can get alimony too It's mainly for stay on home parents who need time to get a job From my understanding anyways but laws are different all over the world

@@user-mp1is6ys7m yeah but I would bet my house that there is more women with jobs that get alimony than men with or without jobs that get it (it just seems weird to have to pay for someone to stay at home all day even *after* getting divorced)

1) it's awfully misogynistic to call the other woman a play toy. 2) a few holes in that story, on one hand says he is covering all the bills etc, then says not paying for anything and spending extra money on his girlfriend. 3) Says he is spending "our" money on his girlfriend and leaving his family without I think this is another case of the female ego only telling half a story. There are a lot of men out there who do stupid things, but would have this situation figured out if they were the initiator. That's statistical fact. Men are absolute idiots when it comes to facing a divorce initiated by the woman and forensic analysts when they are the initiator. I'm going to assume this guy did his homework in that respect. My question is what kind of person his wife really is. I would bet money she's not what she says she is.

@@jeffklaubo3168 💯

Again with alimony and child support used as a weapon... what is she going to keep his house clean for the alimony? Its outdated logic, our culture is so gynocentric I never could understand this, with all this talk of equality both are parent equally responsible for the children monetarily and physically.

How does a stay at home mother have the gall to say he’s spending “our” money? UN-frigging - believable! And he’s paying all the household bills while not living there; she has lost her mind!

I know, she doesn't realize, she has all the power. Once she lawyers up he is completely utterly fooked.

Don't date single dads or moms, it's a mess.

Feminists will always die alone and are the worst thing that ever happened to woman.

I mean they are big there, but they so seem to get downvoted into oblivion. My advice is look for the story yourself because I found a lot of video content creators are not posting top comments like they claim Instead they dig for ones they know will get viewers raging. Enrage to make them engage for the algorithm. Reddit cafe is very bad about this. They post a story and everyone is saying yta or esh and stretches it or pulls the" but children", but when I find these same stories on reddit, they were nta and the comments he posted were.downvoted.to oblivion. Yes reddit aita usually has a misandrist vibe, but not as bad as these reddittibers are usually making it

If he isn't taking care of the children she one hundred percent can. The dude fucked up here. This is the exact reason alimony and child support are a thing. Not the corrupted version where the woman no fault divorces and takes everything.

Reading comprehension is hard for redditers sometimes lol

Not if he owned it BEFORE the "marriage."

Yeah doesnt matter. Honestly what I wanna see happen more is if the woman makes a man sign a bc for a kid that ain't his and they break up, I wanna see him fight for custody too. It will piss her off a lot

How sad !!

@@LucyB34 The husband died some months after...not a day too soon, as he had some strange ideas about medicine... right after his return to the family his middle daughter got very ill and the wife wanted to take her to the hospital because she thought the girl might have toxic shock syndrome. Her father shouted at them to quit making such a fuss...toxic shock wasn't a real thing. The teenager eventually got to the hospital...but her dad refused to acknowledge that she was ill. Until the day he died, he accused his wife and daughters of pretending to be sick whenever they had a real illness, faking period cramps, etc. Nobody was allowed to be sick but him...and though the grandparents' money helped, their insistence that the tyrannical patient "mustn't ever be upset" made that house a really anxiety inducing place to be. When he finally died, his wife and daughters said they all felt like they'd just awoke from a bad dream.

Oh yes they do. That reason being a pretty young thing from work or a bar who pretty much makes him feel like a king. So he decides he wants to spend his life with PYT instead of that old hag back home.