Does your wife wants an open marriage but you don't want to? Watch Paul talks what marriage is all about and for you to understand why there's some lacking on your marriage.
I'm going to address this without passing any judgment because we live in a society now where
it's amazing to me because I understand marriage but so many people have no problem with
an open marriage. And the reason why is because they don't understand the complexity, the depth, and the benefits of marriage. They have an idea of marriage that's rather mundane and it may include loyalty and an open marriage certainly isn't. But the idea of marriage to many people in our society is a sort of, I use the term mundane. Let's use the word material so it's almost like a business arrangement and it's a friends with benefits but you're married and there's something about that that is appealing to people only because they don't know about
marriage.
Let's first talk about marriage and then maybe you will understand why there's something lacking in your marriage that is big enough so that your wife would even have these thoughts. We can easily imagine a mundane material marriage but let's talk about what marriage is supposed to be. You get married with two ideals that are either subconsciously there or consciously there. One is that you want to be happier and you want that happiness to increase every single day of your life. So in contrast that's not happening in your marriage clearly. The second and it is really the foundation of marriage is you get married in order to experience
unconditional love.
Obviously, none of us are capable of absolutely giving unconditional love hat's sort of God's domain but by striving to do so. We are moving in the right direction and love becomes an ever expanding part of your marriage so that's a healthy marriage. It's a spiritual marriage. It's spiritual because we are souls. We have a body and we have a mind and because the focus
is on a tangible intangible. The psychologists refer to love as an abstract but we all know that it's much more than an abstract because we've all experienced love and it's tangible. No, you can't touch it. You can't see it but it's like the wind you know it's there and the thing is the reason why there's so much resistance to identifying love commonly is because it's truly spiritual and
people don't like to acknowledge God.
The only people who do are those who are spiritual or religious but a lot of people they don't like the idea of God but that doesn't mean that you're not a soul. You're a soul. Tour wife is a soul. I'm a soul. We're all souls and so we experience the nature of the soul which is love and it gives us much more satisfaction than anything else there is. Many people taste this love in the form of family relations where they're touching the surface when they get married.But you know it's interesting because almost everyone experiences love at a wedding. There's that moment when you feel that overwhelming feeling of love. Everyone has that experience so that's why you get married. So knowing that what is missing in your marriage that your wife would seek to have relations with other people and maybe you have children and that's why she doesn't want to end
the marriage because she knows your children need your marriage.
What can you do about this?
You can study up on marriage -- that's one way. Using one of my books because it covers marriage really well. Typically, for other problems that are not as big as this one because this is a big problem that would be fine. But your marriage when she's asking for an open marriage,
she's asking for a divorce whether it's in the form of papers and legal. it's only a step out the door so you have to recognize that your marriage is sliding towards its end. So the question is not so much about how do I learn how to be married. You're sliding. You're heading down and it's going to get steeper and steeper and the momentum is going to build so you need something that will radically pull you as an individual in the right direction of fulfilling her needs in the marriage. And that doesn't include things like taking her on vacation or giving her better sex or anything like that, those are material.
But remember what I said is the most important is the feeling of unconditional love. The feeling of happiness. So think about marriage as a container, there's just two of you in it and I call
it the sacred space of marriage. And so, it's you and her. Obviously, you don't know her very well.
Do you? But you don't know yourself very well either and you don't understand marriage so we
have to start. And so I'm trying to get you to hear that there is a course for men that we have
that literally begins with understanding yourself as a man but in a very deep way.
Watch the video for more.
#marriagecommitment #marriageexpectation #marriageproblems #marriagecounseling #frustrated #unhappywife