I don't know how a child can ever heal from a narcissistic parent. It feels as if it will never end until the parent no longer lives. Going "no contact" doesn't totally work because of the invisible, deep tendrils of trauma that the parent instilled in the child as they stole their identity, forced them into social slavery for appearance sake, and and raged at the child who had the audacity to express authentic unique ideas.

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

I am a 62 yr old female. My father was an overt narcissist and my mother a covert. After watching these videos, I can't believe that I am an accomplished, independent, loving and caring human.

It’s been 26 years since the end of the relationship and I’m still not over it. I had a narcissistic mother too.

It's been 8 years since I escaped. He died 3 years ago. Married 48 years. Doing EMDR therapy. I hardened my heart to survive the emotional abuse.

I left a narcissistic husband 7 months ago, I was on a waiting list for therapy. During that time waiting, I have had a lot of time to process what happened to me. My 1st appointment is next week and I am ready to let the healing process begin . Thank you Danish for all of your help.

You are right. I know all of those signs. It is hard to heal trauma. Your body has to feel safe to heal your trauma. It is very challenging when the narcisist is stalking you.

My memory is not good at all. In 2016 I became very sick and I lost my memory, the pressure of narcissistic abuse was so bad, my son, my boss ( 2 of them) , my work colleagues and so on. I got a panic attack and started crying, was not able to walk, not even to the rest room alone, the ambulance was called and I was taking to a psychiatrist and then to a psychologist. They studied me under 3 years and decided that I could not go back to work ever again. I moved to another country just to find some peace. I am alone but happy, and I am much better and taking care of my self 😊. I've got chronic stress, amnesia, brain exhaustion, I'm very nervous still. Although I am doing much better and I have made a lot of friends. Thanks so much for the video it's very helpful. 😊

I simply WALKED AWAY 4 years ago, and never looked back not even for a second. I got into therapy and my life just took off. I had to go back to my child hood for a lot of answers and I'm glad I did. I continue to work on myself and grow every day. I love the woman looking back at me, and will never put her through anything like that again. I LEARNED how to take care of myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, PHYSICALLY!! I'm so proud of myself, I TRULY love the skin I'm in and only have my heavenly father to thank for it!! I GOT OUT, AND SO CAN ANYONE ELSE ❤

I’ve been gone for 2 months, but not TRULY free. 😢 I became so ill, both physically and mentally, after staying near 40years, I absolutely lost myself. Lost my job, unable to work at all. Couldn’t get out of bed for days!! Lost my will to live. Smear campaign destroyed my friendships, and even relationships with family, children, and grandchildren!!! I may as well have been dead already! Financial abuse kept me trapped. Found out my daughter was having a baby, and actually might NEED me! Grabbed my purse, and little dog, and left. But finding help has been painfully slow. Many times, had to come back and grovel for gas money, or anything I needed. Still have to!! Just waiting to find a little help up, until I’m able to take care of myself again. 😢 Raised 3 kids while working in a career in dentistry for almost 30 years!! Now, I can’t even find my bra in the morning. 😢 Don’t want to go back-but don’t know what to do.

It’s been 2.5 years since I left my narcissistic partner. Ended up moving in with my parents to help with my dad’s terminal illness - and my mother is a covert narcissist. Since dad died I have been her caregiver, and it has been brutal. She loved my ex partner like a son. She makes me I feel like I am crazy and thus, I have never really healed, I just traded one narcissist for another. She caused me to have a mental breakdown during my father’s illness and since he died a few months ago, she has ruined my reputation within the family and I am getting to the point where I no longer take care of my health. Two grief counsellors and my regular therapist told me that staying with her is high risk for my mental health. I can say without a doubt they were correct. She polices my diet and weight and criticizes me almost daily, this has caused me to stress eat more and gain more weight. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. I wanted to do the right thing and be a good daughter, but I don’t know how much longer I can do this before I lose my mind. My biggest regret in life is not going no-contact with her decades ago.

I prayed, prayed, amd prayed.. Connection with God healed me and that's my new life now...Left him, some family and some friends also. Not going back.❤

I told friends that I didn't want to get into another relationship because I was broken inside and I didn't want anyone else to hurt like that. I still feel this way. I've made a lot of progress, but there's still so much damage. Not just my narc, but other narcs in my family have hurt me. So it is accumulated hurt and damage.

After 10 years of narcissistic abuse, I have been isolated and free of the abuse for 1 1/2 years. I’m healing slowly. I’ve learned how much trauma has been stored in my body and have been working on releasing this through EMDR, breath work, muscle relaxation and EFT (tapping). I still have issues with memory loss, focus, trust, clutter and irregular sleep patterns. I mostly self-isolate to keep myself safe and avoid stress at all costs. Little by little I’ve seen signs of progress.

My body and mind still feel so exhausted. I’m 8 months out of living with my husband but still going through the divorce process. Healing has been so hard.

My abuser kidnapped me the summer before 9/11 and i ended up hospitalized for a month after his plan failed when i almost died. I didnt realize it until facebook memories told me, but i almost always end up very sick and back in the hospital every anniversary. I had no idea it was the anniversary, but my body knew! However, since my children i had from my abuser are now adults, i havent had to deal with my abuser anymore and i havent been hospitalized in about 3 years. The last hospitalization was a heart attack i had during a time when my abuser was giving me and our then minor daughter a particularly hard time. Having children with an abuser is truly an 18 year sentence to hell. Im so relieved to be FREE! 🕊

I knew who she was but she was my mother. After YEARS of therapy, I feel that I've healed- I've accepted that I never had a mother who loved me. The end. That said, I had a horrible trigger come up recently that was due to me never feeling safe and never feeling like I had a home. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever experienced. I didn’t even realize it was a trigger until I was 54 years old. More work is needed!

If you were a psychologist in Australia, I would make an appointment straight away. It has been almost 12 years since I left my narcissistic ex husband and about 6 years since my narcissistic ex best friend used me up and discarded me when I had nothing left to give. I have been a recluse now for years. I live for my 3 children, 1 still at home, but don't trust anyone else. Everything you said is 100% me. I constantly have a knot in my stomach. I don't fight or flight but I am in a constant state of fawning. The only men who like me are narcissists. Good men don't find me attractive, they like women with self confidence and spark. I feel like I am broken and wounded.

Its been 18 months now since I had any contact,I still feel that I 'love'him even though it was all a lie,lots of things trigger me,I cant seem to enjoy anything and I really cannot see a future anymore. Im just existing and getting through each day best I can.

It's been 22 years since I left my ex narcissistic husband. I'm only now realising what myself and my 2 children lived through. There were signs there all the time. But I didn't realize it was all a huge lie. At my divorce hearing, I learnt that he had Hep C since he was 14..and never told me... EVER. My whole life with him was fake and lies. I saw he had no empathy with our children. He was very cruel, to the 3 of us, but severely cruel with our children. I had no idea he was such a horrible person. He was so kind to me at the beginning. And he really reeled me into his control. I suffer now with so many symptoms from narcissistic abuse. And I still do have flashbacks and nightmares. And I've been told that I lived in severe stress from this relationship. I still suffer with memory loss... Badly. He turned everyone we knew against me. I had no friends of my own thought the 27 years I was with him. And I have severe trust issues, still. I didn't even know I suffered with C-PTSD.

I left my boyfriend 10 days ago. After three years with him I discovered he has a wife and multiple other girls. I have struggled to eat or sleep since. I am with a psychologist and an hypnotherapist. I don't think is enough. My stomach is a knot and my doctor thinks my liver is failing. I do need help but don't know if I am going in the right direction. I started to learn about narcissism and now everything makes sense. All his behaviour is explained. He was getting his supply from me. But still cannot understand how a human being could be so cruel.

Based on this instruction, I am healing! The trusting part will take time...

Three years ago I left .. over all I feel good but .. I still have a deep funk I’m trying to shake . I am trying to find a narsistic counselor but they are all full . I’ll get better, thank you Danish . You have helped me beyond words 😊

I'm struggling with all of this with no therapy- just had to try and work on myself. thank you Danish. relaxation.

I am suffering from all these symptoms even though i have left my narcissistic parents 7 months ago. Flashback of traumas never end, i cant concentrate on anything, so scared of everyone that i cant open up in front of anyone

My mother was a narcissist and I married several narcissists so I can't get started on healing. The trauma has caused brain bleeds, CPTSD, mental breakdowns, more physical diseases than I thought one person could have. I'm 65, still in that constant fight or flight, ever-vigilant state of being.

Having NO fond memories of being with him for 23 years, combined with how enraged and covertly on the attack he became in response to my finally divorcing him, at LEAST I never wanted things to ever “go back” to how they were. But, thanks to your multitude of insightful videos, I see where I delayed healing (it’s been over ten years now) and how I fell into the trap from day one! I trust you will understand when I say my mother’s abuse was the ideal training ground to “prepare” me for tolerating all that I did (and for as long as I did). Thank you, Danish. I appreciate you.

I feel guilty about avoiding my mother because she’s old but I don’t want to hear me out down and my brother praised

I am glad to hear I have made some progress. I’m very discouraged about the memory loss and difficulty reading. I am not out of the situation, it has shifted to less abuse and violence, but I am stuck for now because of the physical damage and health problems he directly and indirectly caused. I wonder if some of the memory blockages are due to not being ready to deal with the sheer enormity of abuse over decades. Existing like this with no access to any good memories is despairing. A complete waste of my life. Not really having hope, but for lack of a better term, I hope that I am able to get to a place that I can access any good from the past and not have it directly tied to trauma.

All of that. After 6 days of almost no sleep, brain fog, writing mistakes, memory affected, aggravated body pain/fatigue, scared for my life. NM almost got what she wanted - destroying me. End. To her BS that is. Drove to the point of no return. Take care of myself now and she will get consequences back because no one can torture a daughter even remotely so badly they won't get karma back like hell. You're a pearl Danish. Thank you for helping us all

Yin, Iyengar and Hatha Yoga helped me release the trauma from my body. When I would practice yoga, there would be random waves of emotional release. Yoga is an important routine in my life for core strength, flexibility, and general well-being.🙏

You're the first person I've heard address this. I was married to my narc ex-husband for 24 years before finally leaving him in 1994, with no understanding of what I was embroiled in. Aside from ongoing Fibromyalgia, in 2019 I started having vivid flashbacks and nightmares of him and hypervigilance that I learned (after researching) are classic CPTSD systems - and I was diagnosed with CPTSD. It was at that point that I fell down the rabbit hole into the world of "narcissistic abuse" information and my eyes opened to the truth! I'm in the process of healing now (meeting with a Counselor who specializes in this) all these years later.

I am struggling with recovery. Poor concentration, extreme anxiety,, i dont leave the house for long because of it. Fear, lack of trust, insomnia, memory loss. I still have enjoy places i feel at peace & nature. Nature is amazing for peace of mind. Also talking to friends. I have two narcs in my life. One covert pathological one cerebral. God help me find the strenth to walk away and start my life again.

Oh crap. I'm staying in a constant state of fight or flight. I'm always taking a deep breath to try to calm down. This is off and on all day everyday. Thank you. I have a ton. If work to do I'm many years away from the situation

Thank you for this. ❤ A therapy team I was with a couple years ago first talked about cognitive dissonance and self compassion. I am still healing and releasing so that I attract healthy and authentic relationships that resonate with me (work, friends, men).

4 years later, I have healed a lot, but still experiencing these things to a lesser extent. Now moving towards trust building. But self doubt, memory, all of it is still there. It's hard to manage life happening now, while you also sort the past.

Danish you are God sent. Thank you for this one. I needed it sooo much at the moment. Your guidance means so much to me. Thank you🙏

There is the psychological trauma and the practical trauma done to yr life. It totally derailed my life and now I have to set forth from a basis of steps removed from me to go forward in life. Difficult.

I find that watching videos on narcissism is making my healing take longer. While learning why I was vulnerable to a narcissist is important like my codependency issues. Actual videos about narcissism just bring back up the the whole thing. The only time I think about her is because I am watching a video about "what narcissists do when you do this" and then I look back "Oh yeah she used to do that!" Educating yourself is important but honestly these videos in a way just keep it all fresh in your head.

I realized he has Narcissistic personality disorder about 4 months ago after 17y of marriage. I’m still in the same household (have to until divorce is finalized) making the healing process difficult. I was on the edge and he was still trying to push me. This is when I realized this is not a normal human being. I didn’t know anything about NPD. Reading about it I realize I went through all and was close to being completely destroyed. I was left with daily panic attacks preventing me from doing daily chores. I feel better but know it will take a while to heal as all the abuse caused not only mental distress but also physical problems. I was betrayed for half of my life and can’t even grieve because none of it was real. He was fake.. the relationship was fake.. I’m not able to trust people I meet, as you described questioning their motives. I still hope..

Many MANY THANKS! So many thoughts and comments I want to share. Very insightful and comforting too. “Get over it”… the message from those who haven’t walked our path.. is of No support of course! These somatic expressions are the toughest. And difficult to recognize as trauma responses. The memory losses are very disturbing and disheartening. I’m grateful you mention it and validate the reason. AND .. when to know how to keep making progress. It’s been 3 1/2 years since the first No contact order. The second one was in April. Death of my mother 7 months ago definitely triggered me. That part is getting better. It’s comforting to know that an additional trauma can leave us temporarily derailed. I do isolate still however I’m working on it and feel I’m making progress. Thank you again to this community and YOUR CONTENT!

Went no contact from narc mother and sister a few years ago. Guilt, sadness, and anger hang over me. Overly defensive and sensitive with my spouse. Continuing digestive problems and chronic inflammation in muscles. Feel inadequate and anxious. Afraid they will reappear suddenly. Don't know how to get over this stuff. I don't hate them, I pray for them, but I thank God that they are staying away as well. Can't afford effective counseling.

Hi Danish it's been nearly 18 months but my fight flight instinct is still strong I can feel it in my stomach every day. Also because of this I'm sure my cortisol levels are too high. But on the whole I think I'm getting there slowly but surely. All 5 of your reasons I suffer with most to a lesser degree than when we parted after he attacked me very violently. Now I'm on my own he's 2000miles away and I've cut off all contact. That has helped greatly. It's a slow process and it's made me disabled with polyneuropathy I can hardly walk.but thank you for addressing the memory aspect I thought I was going crazy. That's been affected quite badly.

I am far from even beginning the healing process. I'm stuck mentally yet I don't want to be. The desire to be better to be free is inside me and has been for over a year now even if I just left the ex. Memory loss. I've had extreme examples of it and it is terrifying. The things I pushed out that rush in when I least expect it. The shame of what I allowed in those memories haunt me. Thank you for this video. I'm actively seeking help at the moment.

It took me a long time to get over self doubt. Ppl can make u feel guilty by saying "that's ur family" or when the narcissists pass away, your feeling guilty about wht u know is the truth - just because the narcissists die, doesn't mean they become a Saint. Don't feel guilty about wht is real & truthful. Those memories still come to the forefront & I must find my peaceful place & not dwell ther. The narcissists hv taught me to be aware & vigilant of others, and yes, listen carefully

There is also a pre-PTSD period early on after a disruptive trauma event, indicative of dissonance and a rebound effect that can also halt the healing process. 😢 Afterward, neurosis may be "discovered" or "uncovered" with therapy. Triggers and flashbacks are post-traumatic due to brain damage the narcissist caused to you. 😮 Healing and memories are connected and its a long healing process. ❤️‍🩹

Thank you for all your videos which are a real help to put the final pieces in the puzzle. You have helped me beyond measure. And mostly thank you for saying without hindrance that narcissistic behaviour is evil. It truly is straight from hell.

I left in 2016 and it is now 2024 and I still deal with cognitive dissonance, brain fog, aches pains, headaches, nervous system issues. Learning how to relax and pray.

My narcissistic father was verbally abusive, & somewhat physically abusive to both she and I (both as a child & adult), until my Mom passed away. Then he became physically abusive to me (as an adult). The least little thing he would get angry about (dinner was a huge issue for him), would immediately result in pounding his fist on the counter/table etc. Then I would be beaten, thrown down the basement stairs, punched, kicked you name it! Now my father died almost 15 years ago. The "fight, or flight syndrome" is the only thing that hasn't seemed to completely leave me. My biggest problem, that I can't seem to get over, is feeling the "fight, or flight" syndrome whenever my husband gets angry. Now, my husband is a very sweet and loving man! He's very easy going and has a lot of tolerance when it comes to what he calls, "Ok, you're getting upset over nothing. I'm just yelling at the game." (He plays computer games.) My husband plays his computer games in a different room from where I am watching television. When he yells, I immediately "stiffen up" and start contemplating where I can "go to get away." My husband doesn't pound his fist. He would NEVER a raise a hand to hurt me, I KNOW that in my heart....but, my mind...not so much! That is really the only thing that becomes difficult rarely. We have spoken about it. My husband assures me that he'll never hurt me physically! But it still happens every single time he yells at his computer game! I still have nightmares occasionally, but those are under control. What I find is very helpful is meditation! It helps me to clear my mind and just calm down things in my head that won't seem to just go away. I take some songs that I like, for example "Within You, and Without You" by The Beatles; "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve. Something that has one underlying note going on throughout the whole song. Just focus on that one note and breath in and out slowly for the entire song. Makes you extremely relaxed!

We’ve been gone almost 8 years, sometimes I still have anxiety, my children are still suffering although they are adults and understand narcissistic abuse. They are learning to walk in their power and know when the triggers happen. So we continue to heal

I'm scarred for life. It's completely shaped my personality. How else could I be after being raised by a horrifically crazed narcissist mother?? I will never be a 'normal' person.

I am freshly out of the narc abuse, so I expect to experience these things for a while. One big thing with me is pure anger, bordering on rage. I understand that what I experienced was unfair, undeserved and the epitome of betrayal and destructive, both to my body and mind. And I am furious. I also LONG to show SOMEONE who this person REALLY IS. I realize that will almost certainly never happen. But I would give ANYTHING to be able to do so, just the same. No one deserves this abuse at ALL. I am SO sorry to all the other survivors out there. We did nothing wrong. Please remember that! And we deserve happiness and peace! It is HARD. But stay strong. We got this! 🖤🤗

Protective thinking definitely. Taking small dose 450 mg ashwaganda at night and will be trying reishi again for chronic rheumatoid arthritis pain which sometimes gave me too many trips to BR. There is a meditation practice I need to do more consistently to rid myself of the fight - flight ( 7 min meditation Roy Masters here on YT ) as it dissipates internal stress out of one’s body through fingers pathway and also it separates psyche from chronic obsessive thinking that keeps one locked into the fight- flight… it’s easy I just forget and stay lazy( less than 7 min 2x /day) Grounding or earthing has some anxiety diminishing effects but I would benefit the most with a sleeping mat for the chronic anxiety and pain inflammation. Crystals- experimenting with them. Things to do!

I have made leaps and bounds in my journey. One of my biggest challenge is accepting the grooming on my kids.

Rumination is my problem.i move on but there's still hurting when I remember the bad things what tgey did to me ,I realized it's all lies not existing .

25 years together, then 11 years estranged, but not divorced. Finally divorced 8 years ago. Also abused by my church and a couple of bosses (emotionally, not sexually, thank God). Trusting and making me connections is extremely hard for me. My stamina is very low, and my memory was damaged. EMDR has helped. Whatever i do, I'm not giving up!

I’ve done okay on my own but I definitely know it’s been almost ten years and I’m not nearly as far as I should be. I still can’t move out of my parents house and I almost went back to the narcissist in the past month. Im proud of where I’ve gotten but i know consciously I could be further along. I can see light at the end but im not there yet… memory lost that one hit home… last year I ate an orange for the first time since (had to be before 2015) and I remember how much I loved oranges… or one time I brought my lunch to work two days in a row and thought “wow more people should do this, this is amazing not to go hungry throughout your whole shift” and looked up and saw everyone was eating lunch and then I remembered people do this, it’s not a crazy concept. Normal people bring lunch to work. Anyway I know it’s been a long slow journey but those two moments especially remembering how much I love oranges really made me proud and happy gave me hope that I will continue to get better. Even with being around the narcissist the past few weeks. Me telling him he’s not good for my mental health and walking away then him accusing me I’m not good for him. I was proud of myself because instead of taking it personal I saw him saying that as “this is get out of jail free with minimal damage” card and just agreed with him that I’m not good for him and I wish him the best of luck in life. So I almost got trapped again but caught myself this time.

These things come back even if you’re fully healed from time to time

I got ghosted two-and-a-half years ago. I still have extreme memory loss, cognitive dissonance problems, trust issues I think about him 24/7, I cry every day. I can't get him out of my energy. He told me he was a narcissist he also told me he was a warlock I really didn't believe that stuff really happened. The things that happened in my sleep are over and above normal. And all I want to do is sleep. I've been homeless for two-and-a-half years Couchsurfing and losing friends and trusting no one and living this horrific life. I do not know how to get away from him

You are not being negative,you are being realistic.we need to accept the truth in order to heal better.even after a few yrs,there are things that always happen that bring things in our memory forward into the present.

This was great information, rang true on every level. I enjoyed how you set out each of the points very clearly & with accompanying relatable scenarios. For me, the abuse came from a sadistic workplace bully who knew how to fake it with the bosses & get others on side via triangulation & smear campaign against me. Nothing worse when people believe you are something you're not. Several years later after leaving that toxic place and I still get triggered now and then despite counselling, yoga etc. Still working on it.

I was in a physically, emotional & verbally abusive marriage for 10 years. He was the worst narciccist but I didn't know it at the time. I raised my two boys but unfortunately my youngest son who is now 43 followed in his father's footsteps. He has made my life hell. I am ready to walk away. Looking for a therapist before I lose my mind!

Thousand and one thank youse Danish, Bless you for bringing these videos and circumstances tonight❤️👩🏻‍🦳

Left 8 years ago, he still lives in my head almost 24/7. I moved 3,000 miles away to start over, but the truma is still there. I have memory loss at times, and I won't open myself up to another relationship. I do have friends, but I no longer believe in romantic love.

This was very valuable and helps reintrospect oneself

One year later I can say I am happier but I am suffering from memory loss especially memories from the last three years where the abuse was intense. My long term memory is good but I have problems remembering names or things that happened the past three years. Sometimes when I am asked for my phone number for example I find myself giving a number that I used 15 years ago, or to describe my car I find myself describing a car I used several years ago not the one I am using now. I have crazy memory related issues but I think it’s getting better. Sometimes i can’t find the right word mid-sentence. It has gotten better but still not enough for me to stop worrying. I am performing better at my work though. I am using a lot of money to process a divorce that the narcissist is against and trying to fight for custody for the kids. I don’t have money for therapy now so for now I watch these videos from Danish and others. I find that they are helpful. But once my divorce is over I will go back to therapy

I have a problem trusting anyone enough to ever be in another relationship. After my divorce I got into a relationship for 10 years with another narcissist. THATS when I started learning about narcissists. I have been looking back at my 25 year marriage with open eyes. It hurts my soul when I see the depth of what was done to me and our children.

Allah almighty has helped me to get out of this situation as i was also in this same type of relationship.AlhumduliLLAH i am getting well my family is helping me as well.❤

I am so glad I found your channel. I don't feel alone and like it's all in my head. He did a real number on me and it's been years of trying to heal and its only been recently that I even learnt about narcissistic abuse and that has helped so much in understanding why I am the way I am now.

This one really got to me, Danish, thanks for the wake-up call ~ initially I thought that the topic would resonate with what my kids are going through, but it's a clear actuality that I have issues that relate to all 5 signs and so, I still need some serious therapy even though it's been 11 years since the divorce from my narc ex wife. Thanks again for sharing your knowledge and experience❣️👍

It took until I was over 50 y old, to understand that my adoption mother have covert narcissist traits... and that it was the same with the father of my sons. We lived together for about 20 years. He tried to controll me but he didn't manage, because I didn't let him , he have told me. After him I lived with a man "grandios N", I hot sicker and sicker until he left me, I was not fun to live together with anymore..... After that I livet with a man with no drive at all gor home or grow as a human.... Now I have lived over 2 y alone, with my animals. That Is the best for me. Got a best friend , we help each other with everything ❤. Healing takes time, having one good friend helps

Every song, every occasion, every place, every situation will trigger pain. I can only speak for myself. I know I will never recover. So I isolate myself living alone to avoid the triggers. Narcissist gives humans hell on earth like none understand and knows. Imagine you walk on the streets with only your skin left , worst than a substance addict.

42 years... Still with him. I wake up feeling like rigor mortis has set in.

Its been 10 months I left, middle of a tedious legal process, restarting my career and studies fresh making my resume unstable. Scared of men and narcissitic world. Getting flashbacks and nightmares. Not able to control crying anywhere when someone reminds me of that time. Not able to trust anyone except parents. Continuous worry in my subconscious mind about the future. Overthinking if something is wrong with me, or am I the narc. Feeling uncomfortable around people who show off.

14 years in 1 year out thank God. we need to work on our healing more because feel stuck. thank you yes need to do more to heal myself my children. we are like a fist need to relax. Thank you!

My position right now?, i have acquired a ton of info about narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse, but precious little understanding about it, and I can't really explain why I cannot convert information into understanding, So basically feel nervous unsteady about the whole phenomenon. Like my reactions are still basically the same though less intense, less lasting, and less damaging. So that's a start, that's all good. It only get's bad whenever I feel I should be further along by now, that I should be able to exit my hermitage and be ready to take on the world by now.

Thank you for posting this video. It's been like a light in a dark room finding the words you say together. Thank you. 8:22 is where I'm at!

Thank you for helping all of us suffering from this abuse, this is real help.

I just want to completely forget about him, like he never existed at all. Trust issues is my biggest one out of the five for me right now.

I'm not healed yet after watching this video. I was in a 3 years relationship with a narcist and it was always on and off and I than felt it was not normal but I kept making excusing for him... After knowing about covert narcist I understand now about than. But I'm not healed yet... It is not yet 8 months and all the 5 signs I still have and the most that hurts is the betrayal trauma because I had trust issues but he convinced me that he was different and I believed him and felt for it because I was pregnant and wanted to believe the better version.... I once had 6 months no contact and than he hoover me again and now it is 5 months no contact and I hope that I will be strong enough for his hoover but I think so. The thoughts are all in my mind and I now better now. Thank you for your video's because if someone never had een covert narcist partner they will never now what the trauma bond and cognitive dissonance means. People will think it just another break up get over him but it is different really differtent. 🙏🏼

Facing each one of said signs. How to start healing!!

A road map to the healing process 🙏

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get past this. He told me he cheated in 2018 in Jan 2020. For 2 years we tried on and off trying to get past it. He could never say the things I needed him to in order to heal. I realize they can't but that is my personality. I think I am getting past it and just turning in my driveway triggers it. I thot about selling and move elsewhere but financially cannot. I can be fine and past by an eating place and I fall to pieces all over again. I guess not really having an ending is what is trapping me. I have sent text many times to you. Everyone says just get over it. OK, tell me how and I will. I did do therapy and it's no telling where I would be without it. Married 30 years. Cheated in the 28th year for what I think no reason. He has triangulation his daughter who is handling his business now and that makes it worse. He was good to me, kind, loving, etc . If he had been mean to me I could get over this. He is on some kind of medication and his daughter makes all decisions for him. He is in an assisted living home. So, my heart goes out to him and I think the worse of his daughter who I think has inherited a lot of his ways. I think if I could face him, ask questions, etc, I could see/feel his spirit. He is very compliant with what she says. It is so involved. I am 75 and he is now 81. I am mistaken for someone in their early 60's but realistically how many men would I be able to have a friendship with. No offense to anyone but some look as old or older than my daddy. This is so much more than I should put on here but this really hit home with me. I do very fine 80% of the day but it still triggers. It's not like I need a man-actually I have now gotten in the habit of doing my life like I want to not answering to anyone. But, I do miss companionship, extra arms to do stuff around the house, miss intimacy etc. In this stage of the game, this is silly and taking away from so much. I know all the right thoughts and things but just can't get past this man!!!!

I have no friends, I believed from my father that I was a bad kid so I pushed all friendships away. Why should I burden someone I liked with my presence, disrupting their good time?

I have a negative physical and emotional reaction when my narc travels to our condo in another state (it's close to company HQ) because he hates being alone and uses the distance as an excuse to have inappropriate relationships with other women. It was supposed to be a place where we could get away and relax but all I can think about is the other women who have or might have been there. Everything we do I imagine he's done with them. Cruising in the golf cart, taking out the jet skis, hanging out at the sand bar.

I know im not healing well, so I ask everyone to pray for me, please. I'm in counseling as we speak. I have a lot of heartache. Some things I brought on myself as an adult making bad decisions with dateing my ex. It's been like almost 3 years. His sorry ass still haunts me. I've been praying that God removed him from my thoughts. Some things I didn't I was just an innocent child!!

Great video,,Danish! I definitely have found myself focusing on somatic practices like African based dancing such as salsa, kizomba where my hips are activated. Releases TONS of trapped emotion. Deep breathing techniques and meditation where I involve my hands to my chest, stomach and other senses, have been so helpful to calming my body and, mind, and keeping me present and grounded. I've also been doing bonfires which help get me into a trance like state, feel wonderful and soothing physically as well as mentally. I found myself processing through loneliness the other night while staring into the fire and let myself feel it, then, let it go. 6 weeks post breakup where I was discarded. It hasn't been easy, but it's getting easier every day

For me the healing began with no contact. I spent so much time feeling uncomfortable with my narc family, always feeling conflicted on whether I should go to a family gathering or not. Now that I am no contact I don't have to deal with these issues anymore. I've moved on.

yeah constant self doubt, / anxiety, emotional flashbacks etc

How to rewire? 8 months?? It has been More than a decade since I Saw him. I still think of the times he was good to me.that trauma bonding is because my nervous system has completely absorbed that. Add peptide addiction to this. So I ignore cognitive dissonance, and enjoy peptide feelings to an excruciating painful extent while smiling and dreaming about how good he was and the promises he made. That gives me joy and maybe happiness too. I enjoy being the fool. It is easier this way because I don’t know to rewire

I've been doing EMDR, but it's taking forever. My counselor says my case is the most complicated she's dealt with. My parents literally set up fake memories and stories to brainwash. They put the height chart slightly higher after a visit to say the person who loved me had starved me so bad I shrunk, then made a big deal so I would remember how real it was that I "shrunk." That's just the tip of all they did. For some reason, the social workers from when I was little dropped my case early on despite extreme abuse.

The First Sign Is Very Much Visible In Me Still I Am Trauma Bonded And Even After Knowing What He is Who He Is I Still Have A Desire To Go Back And Second One Is Not Present In Me I Know It Wasn't My Fault At All Not The Third Sign Is Also Present In Me I Can Get Trigger Very Easily By Him I Can't Show Indifference Or Block Him Even Though I'm in my City Now Fourth One Is that My memory gone better but Sometimes I loose focus and I get anxiety and I have my fears and sometimes I loose my focus and then it take days to get over those feelings and the fifth and last sign is Trust Issues Is Also Present In Me But I Think it's Not That Bad Because Earlier I Used To Be Very Trusting This One Made Me Bit Clever Now I Can Judge Who Is A Narc And Lastly It's Not Been Easy It's Been A Year And Two Months And I Am Still Struggling And I Wanna Say To All Survivors Like Me I Know How Much Pain We Are In But We Are Not Alone God Is With Each One Of Us And Narcs Have A Very Bad Ending We All Know And Those Flying Monkeys Will Also Get Their Due And Living With Them Is A Nightmare For Everyone! Stay Safe Please Give Me Some Advices On My Issues If Anyone Can How I Cope Up With Trauma Bonding And Anxiety And Triggering Issues

I ve had some counselling and I know I need more. I feeling nothing for him but, still hard coming to terms that It was all mirage…. and I fell for it .

I walked away from my ex almost 10 years ago with my 2 sons. He wasn’t just emotionally abusive but also physically abusive. We were together for 14 years. I kind of kept busy for the first few years away from him, but I guess I just buried my hurt and pain down deep.. I have fibromyalgia,chronic fatigue syndrome, have trouble losing weight and short memory loss. I was hoping that I would be healed by now and in a better place🤷🏿‍♀️.

This was very helpful. Thank you!

Create new good memories.. by visiting calming places, listening to soothing sounds, (watch buddhist monastries, mountains, rivers on YT , listen to buddhist chantings, tibetian music, sounds used by meditators etc) . Eat well and healthy to heal gut inflammation and taut nerves. Do tiny acts of charity ( even smiling, to cheer up some one), do loving kindness meditation, listen to talks by Ajhan Brahm for laughter and wisdom... look towards heaven (and think of all the good things they must have done to go to heaven).❤❤❤

Danish.. I would LOVE you to do a video on this 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 On one hand years of being gaslit, via being told I am ‘too sensitive’ when I was having a normal response, or trying to set a boundary with abusers. On the other hand being told I’m ‘triggered’ by past trauma now in my adult life, when I am actually not in a safe life situation or relationships now either. So I end up being gaslit again. A lot of us who have experienced abuse, have a long road to travel to get out of abusive dynamics. I’d love to hear you speak in your wonderfully detailed way, about this journey. Particularly of the experience of being triggered, but also being in the same danger again. So there are two reactions going on simultaneously, from the past, but also accurately responding to the present.

I am healing now, but slowly. Not fast enough for me though. I will keep at it.

I love that you’re giving ways to solve this issue, unlike other KZfaqrs who talk about NPD. Thank you, Danish.

I am 20months out and I moved to another continent. I still have some cognitive dissonance although I know 100% intellectually he was a covert narcissist. I still ruminate quite a bit every day. But my situation is also that I dated 3 other narcs before him and my father was one. I need to work a lot on my inner world to stop feeling in danger and also heal childhood wounds to make sure this narc was the last one ever. I do feel finding the right therapist is difficult to heal from the trauma. Just talking therapy doesn't work for me. I do also get triggered but I tend to separate myself from the trigger and then calm down and process it. I did make sure that there is zero to connect me to the narc. It's a tough ride healing. My amygdala needs to calm down and I can't tolerate noise or conflict with others