This was so accurate to what I went through, big promises, then rapidly into passive aggressiveness then the discard. Then the hoover, and the whole bizarre cycle again resulting in ghosting once the new and permanent supply was in place and currently still is. I had no idea what was going on, the most horrible experience ever.

This was more or less the "relationship" I had. It's more devastating when you think about you had no value to this person that you tried to give your all. That's the worst part to he honest. But I'm grateful in the long run, I've learned so much about this toxic patterns this year, I learned that I was dealing with this shit so much in the past as well. Maybe next time I will steer clear of it .

I was transitional but I can remember him telling me after the fact that I had too many defenses. It makes sense now why it only lasted a month. It was the best way to learn a hard lesson. I’m grateful in hindsight.

Yes, this happened to me, and I was treated just like this! I have never heard of this before, until now. A lot of other videos don't talk about this at all.

I call myself the placeholder

When we realize what they do it’s for them and them alone, we grasp the meaning of self respect because we do matter! Narcs do know that.

I was transitional target and I was left with the belief that I am not good enough because she did not choose me for a long relationship and marriage. Its hard and you rewaly see yourself as object to them.

Yes I always held him accountable

Yup. Just words. Song lyrics. Zero action.

I was transitional supply and lasted just two months, but he did love-bomb me a lot at first and even gave me gifts. The devaluation and covert attacks also started really fast, but I didn't notice at first. I always attributed his behavior to him being a very wounded person who had supposedly just gotten out of a bad relationship. The discard was very abrupt and brutal, though, it literally came out of nowhere. I'll always be grateful that the abuse I endured was very short-lived, but I believe these sorts of discards are far more damaging than long-term dynamics with narcissists because the cognitive dissonance is just massive and you get zero closure. I really believed I had been the toxic one for months after the discard.

My 12 year marriage ended when my self prescribed “good guy” was cheating… I caught him..he tried to pin it on me making him cheat .. as soon as I saw him for who he really is and caught on he was gone to the new supply supposedly he wants ‘ peace’ .. and oh his 2 little kids were also blamed .. shameful

Thank you for touching on this subject. It isn't discussed much. I know I was transitional supply for both the Narcs I've dealt with. The 1st one we were seeing each other for 2 1/2 months when he discarded me for a woman I had suspicions he was seeing too. They stayed together 2 yrs. He never has really "hoovered" me since the discard over 2 yrs ago. The 2nd Narc we texted & seen each other two times for a month & he discarded me for his next supply. He reaches out about once a month just to bait me & see if I'm still around. I'm sure just to try to use me for transitional supply again. It really hurts to think you're really just being used. I think transitional supply is actually the worst. They come in fast & leave just as fast. You're really left wondering what the heck just happened??!!!

2 year relationship. All talk very little action - The more I’d communicate my needs the more they were withheld or I was told my expectations were too much. He moves on and gives the new supply what I needed. Social media posts, trips, dates, moving in together.. so very confusing

Thank you for this video. I kept thinking i didnt even give that big of a lovebomb it was just nice talking to her. We did have 2-3 cycles though because my heart refused the truth.

I was supposed to be a transitional supply but then I got pregnant and it would look too bad to others if he just discarded then. We were together 4 years. Would’ve much preferred to be transitional and discarded early on lol.

I called myself his comfort blanket

This all resonated so deeply with me. The insanity that we endure is hard for a normal person to understand. I am convinced that God intervened for me. After breaking up many times, I finally snapped, things happened that finally pushed me over the edge and I unleashed years of built up resentments and anger and it wasn't pretty for him. It is such a blessing to finally be free of such torment, mental and emotional, verbal abuse et all, not to mention the rollercoaster, bipolar maddenes. Iam trying to forgive myself for allowing that to go on for far too long. Thank you so much for helping me thru this.

These videos are nailing the last 5 years of my life. It’s like waking up from a coma!

When I first my my ex he told me for the past few years he had several relationships that didn’t last long (don’t make it to or past the 90 days) and he had just gotten out of a year off and on relationship. This person can’t have a relationship more than 1-2 months cuz he blows them up. That’s why they never lasted. The on and off person I believe kept going back to him (because of the trauma bond and being uneducated about what he was) and that’s why it was “on and off”. He can’t keep a relationship the older he gets. It’s just how he is. Ours lasted 3 months but I stayed and kept trying (because I didn’t know he was a narcissist) after he blew it up twice in that time. I left the third time he gave me a silent treatment. If I had stayed and chased him I’d still been in the cycle longer with him, and Im sure I woulda been bumped down to a side peice, because I began placing expectations on him. They don’t like that.

Posting about new relationship on social media and it makes you question yourself: "was i not good enough?"" Maybe i did something wrong" etc and it fucks with your head.It's mental torture.advice here: personally i like to imagine the worst case scenario:D yeah maybe they didn't want you .so what? Many others will.people need to have abundance mentality cause at the end of the day when one door closes another one opens.so if you are questioning yourself was i good enough? Yes you were but not to this narc.you could not be controlled like new primary supply.be glad and find someone who will appriciate you .

He’s got 2. One on Facebook and on Instagram. Neither know about each other. I was the grade A that caught his cheating this past Xmas.

Exactly what happened to me. Ghosted me and Told me his ex was back in town.

I don't think it's always so clear cut what "kind" we are, as there's what we're targeted as, and there's what we're treated as. I was, absolutely, targeted as "transitional". I was lovebombed though (not initially, it slowly ramped up), and I got no direct abuse throughout (it was all behind my back). At the end she thought she could just walk and that be that, however after she walked I was still firmly stuck in her head and she couldn't accept that. That's when the more direct abuse started, mainly stalking and trying to provoke negative reactions in any and every way she could. There's also the aspect that everyone is transitional to some extent or other. Some of us put up with more, thus are in it for longer. Some don't put up with much, so are there for less time. They don't know what they can get away with from person to person. It's never about the partner, it's always about the narc.

I was the gold. Didn't see it for 35yrs

I had been the T Supply for 3 months, in 2016. She came back with her ex and torture me emotionally for a period with innuendo and gaslighting.

Thanks Ben I’ve been trying to find info on this topic and there really isn’t much out there. It’s hard to believe this happened to me but I appreciate the validation of my suspicions- because I know that I’m the only person who has ever tried to hold him accountable for his actions. We are not on speaking terms now and it’s heartbreaking, but I don’t regret telling him the truth.

Thanks for letting me and really all of us know it wasn't us. It was going thru hell for the last 7 weeks thinking I messed up the relationship. Honestly I've kind of gone thru this before (I guess I'm the perfect victim) so any wY in the last couple weeks I was able to see some traits. I was just convinced she wasn't a narcissistic.

I’m not just getting dropped I keep getting the random show up at my door intoxicated and crazy

I'm listening because the next woman is transitional supply and wonder WTH is he doing

I was initially long term the first year then my role switched.

thats what i think i was as well transitional supply 😢 i was with him 3 yrs used then discarded several times and not even returned my belongings or my money he owed me !! he just discarded me then one month later new supply all over his social media something he never would do with me .... 🥺

Thank you Ben I have this book but you reading passages from it is more clear to me than if I try reading and understanding Can’t thank you enough Ben

John Mayer dumped Jessica Simpson 9 times. According to her memoir.

Thank you for the video. Looking back now on the last 4 "relationships" they have all been transitional. They have been getting shorter and shorter as I've learn't more and more about the tactics (gaslighting, deflection, etc) and learning to stand my ground more and therefore being discarded quicker which is a good thing because it means I'm getting with my boundaries but still alot of work to be done as that trauma bond can happen so quickly. I also believe the reason the hoovers never came is because they realized I was seeing them for who they are and the games. The last short term lasted only a week intimately (met her a year ago) as she was insulting me, gaslighting, etc and I wasn't falling for it so then got triangulated and the other supply was giving her all the attention and admiration she wanted. She went full silent treatment / ghost / discard and I'm wanting the hoover (shes the type that wants the reverse hoover as we've done this dance before) but that's my emotions taking over and the lust for the "great sex" but I saw straight through her facade - just nothing there. Actually felt sorry for her. Such a lonely existence of never being truly happy. As you said... keep them accountable and responsible and the narc will move on quickly. Work on yourself and building boundaries.

Great video. I went through this, talking about me publicly on his podcast videos. Talking about love 3 times on there. Then said on video, this is just not real. Like a type of movie he was in, on his podcast videos. Your videos have cleared my mind alot. I only met him 2 times, all words on his videos. Thanks Ben

Thanks for sharing, def lost a lot of energy and time trying to understand the emotions but not looking at the truth in the behavior. Thankfully free now! Damn it’s been a long journey ✨🦋 so grateful for people like you who are telling the truth snd not a bunch of bullshit about twin flames and such.

I feel this video

Good episode!

I was transitional supply. He end up getting me pregnant. Now he is with the new supply who he is doing everything for... Abandoned me and baby... Promised me marriage. Then emotionally abused me.. then left

I’m confused I feel like I was but also not

Thanks Ben! This was really interesting and explained a lot to me regarding my situation. In these situations, is this when you are discarded and they move onto the next supply, get married and present a life of change because they found the “love of their lives”?

No love bombing ...just words is correct. The 2nd Narc flat out told me he was talking to another girl & he just wanted me for a side chick. I wasn't having it & that's when he discarded me.

I know that's exactly what's happening right now. We have a son together and I've been trying to get him out he keeps saying he's looking for a place.

Since narc abuse is actually in itself, a devaluation, a contempt, a denigration of someone else, with contempt. Thats one of the things that i feel after dealing with narcs. Like who the fuck , do they think they are just using a person, and then being contemptuos like that. To be fair ive been 3 years in healing am connected to my sense of self, and have good boundaries, and see narcs and their redflags miles away. Yet, even from the distance there was this narc lady yesterday or a couple, whom where very contemptuous at me. It was supposedly a safe place to share, and i perceive the suggestion from a distance from them that I was being a victim. Crosstalk is heavily discouraged in these groups, because we're unpacking trauma, and we come from family backgrounds where our perceptions where shamed. Im certain that what i was sharing which was on the topic and my vulnerability and championing a healing from narc abuse , and im almost at the thriving level really, triggers there narcisism and their shame and insides, which is why they need to try and gaslight and break a rule of the group, to gaslight. A group that supposedly is safe to share trauma, and process and unpack and champion different stories and survival strategies to trauma. I was the scapegoat, i have a story of narc abuse. Im thriving, i have boundaries, im connected to my sense of self, i reprent nurture and love myself, and my inner child, i spend quality time with myself, i can choose safe people to connect with, i am unpacking difficult emotions, all while also advocating against narc abuse, and narc abuse in safe places....... Im 100% sure it just triggers there shame and what do they do they attack and their to shame in an extremely enttitled and contemptuos way.... It resonates a little with this video, because unfortunately narcs use people , and theres contempt in their actions. Glad i have boundaries, can see them, and usually, call them on their shit head on. Enough is enough with the abuse already"! Glad there is awareness thats growing out there!

Will they discard the permanent supply ?

Mine with me more than 10 years and he moved to marry new supply ? I don’t think I was transitional supply … more than 10 years !!! Give me a break

Annealed supply after 35 years he now has a new supply. It took some time for me to figure it out. We are married he's been having some ED issues. So now i wonder if hes not attracted to me and more to her now?. When i found out about her i stopped anything physical with him. After 5 mths he made me feel that it was only me now. So we tried to be intimate, he couldnt. I retreated, felt hurt, all bad feelings came back. Is what im thinking right? He keeps denying .

Does the narcissist care if the transitional supply moves on?

So we’re the more intelligent ones?

Do u Hoovers transition supply and do they try to come back

How do these people know it was a narc then? I've had a few guys blow hot then ghost, could they have been narcs?

🦁not 🐏

Do you recommend going to rehab groups like 12 steps or any kind after the toxic relationship