The catharsis of this series really just boils down to listening to NL explain common unspoken social norms explicitly. It's great.

Am I the asshole for setting up a marriage for my Daughter(30) so I don't have to deal with her venting about work?

AITA for bringing up that the Roman Empire’s best known city wasn’t constructed within a 24hr period?

"Then she texts the brother and says 'Bad marriage day'" fucking killed me

“Who am I to judge” says the man who is a literal Chibi Judge on the thumbnail. +2

"AITA for cracking eggs to make an omelette?"

re first post: i actually broke up with my last s/o over something similar so i really sympathized with him. i think op worded it extraordinarily bad in making it sound like it was her fault he had these anger issues and so on, but it can be extremely stressful when some one is constantly relying on you to support them through their stressful situation, even when there are clear ways to remove the stress from BOTH of you. it's like some one using you to alleviate their problems without actually giving you a way to clear that stress from yourself. when it gets to the point that the wife is having breakdowns and work anxiety because of all the work she takes on and expecting her husband to act as a therapist to her, it's a problem, it goes beyond a married dynamic, even when the husband tried to set down boundaries. there is a line between simple venting and expecting vast mental support from some one

My mental health has become increasingly fragile in recent years. I understand that people need and outlet to vent to, but it can't always be me every day.

That last one gets me really hard lmao; I've NEVER worked in a place that "charges" to remake food. Quite honestly every single place for nearly 2 decades working in Pizza, to fast food, to "5 star dining", to tourist trap etc. They all literally just remade anything, pretty much no questions asked. The cost of the food is typically way lower then the price, and remaking it to make someone happy builds good will etc so you just do it. That place highly deserves the 1 star rating for sure, if they are that close to the margins tbh they should just shut down (which to be fair, most restaurants end up failing early on so maybe that's just where it's headed)

In the Gheesling household Kanye stays on for the entire duration of the ride.

Angel: Plenty of fish in the sea... Demon: ...In the upholstery section.

I love how mental health is important unless you're an adult male/father. He was an asshole for how he said it, but to be like "lol just suck it up and bottle your feelings your 40" is such a step backwards. He had a problem with this to the point where he required therapy and got a divorce.

Last post - that kind of chicken salad sandwich almost always comes with tomatoes in the UK, don't know if it's different where they are. We recently had a couple of people die in coffee shops/cafes after having sandwiches with hidden/non-specified ingredients so they're reviewing laws to make ingredients and allergy listings even stronger - which is good. And staff should also ask but tbh if you have an allergy so bad it could kill you then you need to tell people and ask them to make sure it doesn't go in your food regardless. Especially with such a common ingredient like tomatoes.

I would say this is another golden age of NL content, but honestly it's always all been golden. Also, poggers

Just how I like to relax after a long workday. By judging you judging others judging themselves. Very meta, very judgey

northern “just don’t have anger issues” lion

Restaurant is the A-Hole for their reaction to customer, but is it not regular to mention you have a life-threatening food allergy when you eat out? Even if it ain’t in the food, it could come in contact with another dish in the back of house if you don’t give a heads up.

Okay about the Kanye West one, I think the update gives good context in that he clarifies that Kanye did not say “she just bleached her asshole”

Regarding the first one, I think NL is genuinely wrong on that one. "You have mental health issues, just get over it" Great one. The dude was so stressed out because of his wife, he went to therapy. This seemed like a major problem to him. I dont think its unreasonable to go away from such a relationship if it causes you that many problems with your mental health. I think the dude is also in the right to refuse doing the same thing with his daughter now, he probably could have worded it better and explain it properly though.

The pillow story was the most fake thing i have ever heard.

"I don't wanna have to go get the Dyson down here and vacuum the Bugatti all-weather floormats out just because you ate some hickory sticks" was beautiful

Honestly, constantly hearing from a loved one how they'te a pushover AND how they absolutely hate and suffer from it is horrible. Eventually you resent them for not changing the situation, being a victim of circumstance happens, staying a victim is your own choice. I'd hate to watch something like that unfold too.

NL made a really good point I never would've made with going hungry over buying a second meal in front of your son on the Yelp thing. The greatest dad energy

I must say I empathize with the first post a little, I dated a girl for 3 years who's entire personality essentially boiled down to COMPLAINING, and you couldn't say a single thing to her that would change her mind about how shitty everything was. She'd have a mental breakdown every day over the smallest things, be constantly overwhelmed and in need of support, but would never change anything. At some point you become emotionally exhausted to a point where you just don't even want to hear it anymore because you know nothing you say will change anything. Not surprised NL sided with the wife immediately LOL. His whole take boiled down to "just deal with it". I'd honestly equate that to NL going to his wife every single night and breaking down in her arms for hours on end about how a guy/girl in Twitch chat keeps bullying him, and his wife saying "why don't you just ban them?" but he never does it. Eventually as a human being you have to be like "either do something about it, or stop coming to me with this issue because it's mentally exhausting trying to piece you back together every single night over the same shit when I have my own problems to deal with"

I can relate to the 1st post a lot. I knew somebody who would always complain and it got to the point where it was so frustrating I couldn't think straight, so I stopped talking to them. I feel like you gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

On that first story, unless the op was upselling it, it seemed like way more than just complaining about becky using all the milk at work, it was causing breakdowns. His anger was a problem, but he acknowledged that and went to therapy

Its a very fine line to walk when venting to people. You should be able to, but within reason not every single day, you're overly imposing your emotional baggage onto another which is not great.

Ryan is dismissing mental health issues that the father is going through and telling him to "just deal with it" and "take some responsibility". This is the exact same mentality as people who just tell people with depression to "just be happy". He absolutely should have said to the daughter that he can't listen. He needs to explain why to her, but he had every right to cut it off right there if he felt those same feelings coming back. Carrying on listening would put him back into his bad mental state and it would be toxic to his relationship with his daughter. He's absolutely not the asshole for doing that, but he definitely needs to explain why. Also making glib comments about not getting invited to the pot-luck. This doesn't help. If the then wife in the story really had 7 projects, which was already too much for her, she has every right to say I can't take on anymore and to suggest someone else. That's how things should work. Proper workflow means giving everyone even amounts of work. You don't have one person in a team on 7 projects and then everyone else one 1 project. Asshole boss and spineless Wife. She definitely needs some therapy but since she refused I can't have any more sympathy for her. In essence; fuck work politics and fuck the pot-luck. If they don't value you as a human being they don't deserve your work, let alone you going to their pot-lucks. Ryan's attitude towards wrokplace politics is exactly why management pushes more work on their employees than they should. Guess we need more worker's rights unions.

I gotta disagree (in spirit) on the car one. As the driver and owner of the car, it is absolutely your right to do as you desire when it comes to music, but it is entirely possible to be an asshole while still well within your rights. In many, many cases the AH in these stories are actually within their social-contract rights, but the context in which they're exercising said rights makes them an asshole, and this is one of those situations. There is no breach of a social agreement here, but OP was very clearly an asshole for not simply changing the music whether he agrees or not, considering it's such a trivial matter which nonetheless prompted the passenger to step over the commonly understood rules of passenger-driver relations.

I get the guy in the first one. Like, it's fine to listen to someone complain about something and vent, but if they're complaining about the same shit for days or weeks, at some point I'm like "Um, why don't you do this thing instead of complaining about it 24/7?"

react court is one of the best banter nl video series, im loving them its such a good idea

I feel like requesting to turn off the music or change it is perfectly reasonable.

On the restaurant topic, always tell your servers your allergies up front. Don't guess what's best. Especially for something as commonplace as a tomato. At the same time, the owner can get bent for not remaking the sandwich for an allergy. I can't name a single restaurant I've worked for that wouldn't make a fresh sandwich sans tomato on the house. The owner probably thinks their food is God's gift to mankind, serving plain chicken breast on a roll. They also probably pay and treat their workers like trash. Run from restaurants like that.

hey gang, I got an A- in my final general chemistry class! It was a super fast, 6 week summer class so it was tough. Time for summer

I hate when parents give themselves too much credit when they were just lucky and had an easy going experience. We have endless examples of children being taken care by literal crackheads and then have the children turn out fine. But then a kid starts dating a pillow and all of the sudden just because your kid happened to not date a pillow you are the parent of the year and the parents of the other kid are failures. Like, chill bro, you were just lucky it doesn't mean you get to judge other people having a hard time.

29:40 How on earth was the 94 car older than NL "at that point"? This has been running through my head all night and I'm thoroughly bamboozled. There is no possible mathematical explanation for this, and the suggestion that your position in time changes which is older has me perplexed

About complaining: I think you missed the point there. Its not about the act of complaining, its about seeing someone i care for going down the drain, and not ready to take help to not sink deeper. Its a huge burden, when you cant protect someone yet you see things getting more difficult each day, to the point of burnout or at least breakdown (at home). Thats all ok, when you are ready to work on it together, but some people are not yet ready to change it until they dont have left the strength... and that is extremely hard to live with.

For the story with the venting (sus), I think that what's not being considered is the mental health issues. If he needed to go to therapy, that's not a normal situation. Saying that he should just bottle it up and listen because it's his "duty as a father" is part of the dangerous stigma around men having emotions that led to this problem in the first place.

Case 1. NTA. You dont have to let people dump their emotions on you repeatedly and never do anything to remedy them. Boundaries are being set in 2021

As someone with food allergies, it is entirely my responsibility to inform a restaurant of my restrictions. The waitstaff are not accountable for my health and safety when they are unaware of my risks. While I certainly appreciate it when menus or staff mention the presence of certain ingredients, that is never my expectation.

Ooh NL's in trouble for his take on the angry dad. I can understand he probably doesn't have time to fully explore the nuances of the situation but I think the subject of the story was still in the right to say how things were making him feel. If he recognised in the past it was a big enough problem to get therapy and divorce his wife it can't be easy to have that feeling of deja vu talking to your daughter. I also just wanted to say that I think NL could be in hyper-dad mode so he thinks his own needs will always be outweighed by Luna's and he just has to suck it up to be there for his daughter. He should be there, but if it's causing him to need to go to therapy again you're in your right to say something to try and make the situation a bit easier to cope with, especially when your daughter's a grown woman. Just hope he doesn't get cancelled and we get more AITA because it's top-tier content for spicy takes like these

Can I get a full series of "unethical life pro tips" from NL?

Regardless of whether or not a restaurant lists the ingredients of a dish in excruciating details is irelevant. If you have a severe food allergy you have to inform the restaurant. Unless the restaurant is aware of your condition they can't gaurantee that there is no cross contamination between ingredients. THEY NEED TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE AN ALLERGY.

"I get to pick the music" is basically saying "I get to choose whether or not I piss my gfs friend off and I chose to piss her off :)" yes you have every right to do that but like why

Thoughts on the allergy aita, as an agm at a food service place, there is some responsibility on the customer to inform the restaurant of food allergies. Even if there isn't literally an ingredient you're allergic too, tools and other ingredients might come into contact with the thing you are allergic to. We cant guarantee it hasn't unless you inform us and we can go out of our way to make sure its safe for you. That being said, when someone informed us in post, the most we do is give each other some sour looks, but we will remake it.

Guy: Acknowledges he has anger issues, goes to therapy to help deal with them and actively removes himself from situations that he knows will cause a relapse of his mental issues. NL: Why can't he just deal with it? --- Lets swap a couple of bits out shall we? Show exactly the kind of toxic logic he's with Guy: Acknowledges that he is depressed/suicidal, goes to therapy to help deal with this mental issue and actively removed himself from situations he knows will cause relapses NL: Have you tried just dealing with it?

NL is actually stunlocking me awake with the outlandishly incorrect, unbased and kinda toxic takes. the mental health one was really disgusting to hear.

7:40 Yeah I don't think she's getting ahead in any way if she's taking a 7x workload. The 8th isn't a promotion. It's not a loyalty card.

That whole ordeal with the guy who can't take people venting was an adventure. Never observed something like that, my parents vent regularly to each other, so I'm very used to it, never crossed my mind that others could not stand it.

The last person wasn't the asshole, while the owner clearly was. Although, I think that if you have a serious allergy it is helpful to explain to the staff your situation or at least ask if the food contains the thing your are allergic too; it can save you a lot of hassle in you day to day.

I've no clue if you read comments regarding if people agree with your take or not, but I feel like you undermined the spouses' problem in the first one. Apparently the amount of work was bad enough to cause mental breakdowns, what type of partner wouldn't be concerned and be frustrated about seeing their partner repeatedly get pushed around and choosing to do absolutely nothing about it? I'd say the husband had nothing left to do besides be angry about it. Him seeing a similar situation pop up with her daughter must be extremely disheartening. He only briefly expressed his anger, albeit rudely, for what was happening to her daughter. I cannot fathom how this could be held to AH behavior - especially after he had explained afterwards of what had happened, I feel that what he said had just enough hot sauce to get the point across, at least from his perspective. Can't blame the daugther for thinking his father was an AH for having said that, because she simply did not have the full story of what had happened before - but come on. Mans had this problem for years. I sincerely don't think this type of response was out of proportion.

On that first post, I definitely think the default should be to listen to your kids and be someone they can always turn to for comfort. But I think seeing that he's already acknowledged that he has a serious anger problem that led to him divorcing his wife and not wanting to put that on his kids is fair. It might be weird to think it's gotten that far, but it sounds like it was just a sour spot that resulted in a knee jerk reaction in an attempt to spare his daughter from that problem.

Bad take on the first one. Learned helplessness is absolutely a thing, can create seriously toxic situations, and can be replicated via intimate/familial relationships. I had to break contact with someone who had been a close friend of mine for seven years over a similar (albeit much more severe) situation. It can be very disempowering to have someone you care about constantly approach you with these clearly harmful problems, ask you for advice and support, and then fail to take advantage of any of it while her circumstances continue to deteriorate. When that person can't or won't provide emotional support to you in kind, those feelings of powerlessness and sympathetic frustration will eventually boil over into feelings of exhaustion and resentment. Like, honestly, I'm getting worked up just thinking about what happened with my friend. I totally get where he's coming from, even if I think his initial approach was tactless and insensitive.

I'll throw my hat into the ring for the first post, too. I empathize with OP. I don't like to hear people complain. VENTING, is one thing. Sure, okay, got trouble at work? Fine let's talk about it, everyone has gripes. But when someone keeps bringing up the SAME issues again and again? Come on. After a point, I stop having sympathy, because there can be ways to fix or move past the issue and you aren't taking them. Let's look at OP's example: Wife is working on seven projects and is always busy and apparently complains about it. NL gives the excuse that basically, that's how the corporate ladder works, you take on more work to stay employed and look better for promotions. But we're missing some important details here. How long did the wife work at this place? Did she get promoted or not? If she was there for five years while the couple were married, then I think he's absolutely justified. If she's like two years in, ehh, it's a different story. Based on what he says about being angry at the company, I'm assuming she HAD worked there for some time and was fairly experienced, so he was annoyed that they kept putting more work on her and not giving her promotions or anything. What I care about is whether an individual is being taken advantage of, and what they do to try and rectify it. If a restaurant messes up your order every time you go but you never say anything to them, only to me on the car ride home, I'm eventually going to want to stop going because I don't want to see a friend A. Throw money on something that's consistently low quality and then B. Have to hear them complain about it afterwards. After a certain point, it's your fault, not the restaurant's fault. If you want to spend the money, fine, but don't tell me about it like it's surprising or like you can't just eat elsewhere if you don't have the spine to complain lol. So yeah I think if the wife got a promotion or frequent bonuses for her hard work, any sort of acknowledgement, the husband is the asshole; his wife is working hard, it's paying off, both she and he get to reap the rewards. The suffering is worth it, basically. If there's no acknowledgement or bonuses? The husband isn't the asshole, he wants his wife to go somewhere she'll be actually acknowledged, particularly if she has a valuable skillset AND the background to prove she's capable of multi-tasking and working hard. Or, y'know, just SAY something to the company so they stop taking advantage of her hard work.

ive literally never been to a place that wouldnt remake my food if I complained wtf

No. Setting a boundary with a family member about what is and isn't okay to talk about and having that boundary crossed doesn't make them the asshole

AITA needs to add a "This Post is Pointless (TPP)" for people who KNOW they're not the asshole and are obviously just posting for validation. It has become like 60% of AITA posts and they deserve to be ratio'd.

First guy is not the asshole at all. How could NL not see how fucked up the guy’s situation is?

I'm usually the first person to criticize a guy who blames his anger issues on his wife, but... no, I don't think the first guy is an asshole for needing a break from his daughter's venting. I absolutely disagree with NL on this. The real problem is how the father justifies it. NTA response: "I'm sorry, I love you and your need to vent is entirely valid, but it's taking a serious mental health toll on me and that's not good for either of us. I don't want our relationship to become defined by stress and frustration." YTA response: "Stand up for yourself or leave me out of it." I really hate the idea NL is pushing about how this is just a marital/parental duty. I have had romantic partners who put too much on me and brought me to the point of serious mental crisis. Please don't push an idea that you're ever obligated to be someone's "venting recipient" with no ability to set boundaries. The compromise that the father came to with his kids is heartwarming and a great positive example for how to exercise self-care responsibly. I'm really happy for them. NL should be too.

NL got some internalized toxic masculinity going on with the first post. It's not "the man's" role to absorb everyone's problems forever while bottling up his own feelings. Yes, you should support your spouse/adult kids, but not for years on end with no change in sight while it destroys your mental health.

Bad take on the first story imo. Yeah, you should listen to a SO/spouse when they're bitching, but he said it was getting to the point where she was getting breakdowns because of it. Now, I don't understand the anger over it, but them not taking steps to improve a situation that has gotten that bad would be a deal breaker for me. (The guy is still the AH for treating his daughter that way tho. He may not like it, but in my opinion, you have a duty to support your child through stuff like that)

In many of the restaurants here, there is a little tool in the middle of the table that has buttons on it. One of them is to ask for a server to come, the other one is with a bill sign and the last one is for bill to be paid with a card. So you wait for no longer than 2 minutes for the bill, because soon as you press it, the server will come with the correct tool for payment

Restaurants that don't list all the ingredients piss me off. If all the burgers come with X, put it at the top of the burger list!

How can one man have such entertaining takes its pogging out of control

The second one is definitely fake. No one is on reddit without knowing what a waifu pillow is. And nobody calls out that hard on reddit (likely). They are just fishing for karma

I divorced my wife is a strong statement

First OP gets war flashbacks because his wife and daughter are hard-working adults lol

NL gives the rules that EVERYONE sould live my in a car. 26:11

Your car, your rules

Enelle enacting the right of Prima Nugta in his car like some petty feudal lord is both compelling and disturbing.

this is the best segment he's done in a while. great content!

9:39 most Canadian inflection I've ever heard from him

So many of these posts could be prevented by someone asking "Are you looking for emotional or factual support?"

Anybody who doesn't list nightshade on their menu then says they won't serve you or you can buy your meal for twice the price needs to be put out of business and removed from society because they're criminally insane.

I feel with some of these, there should be a *seek medical help* or *possibly undiagnosed ADHD/ Autism*

NL is so wrong about the first one Jesus. If it literally put you in therapy then it takes priority over the wife or daughter venting about work

Listening to the bit about the Kanye west music in 2023 is funny as hell

Not sure what NL is on for the first one, being a parent doesn't mean that you are suddenly a robot without feelings. People bitch about problems, it's not about men or women, but it's a matter of personality, one time or two time, it's fine, but when it's on a weekly basis or even on a daily basis, it really can grind down on you. Especially when you want to help, but you have nothing to help them with. And yes, maybe not fixing the problem may make your work easier, but then what is the point of complaining and laying on this negativity unto your partner?

I love these because I see a lot of myself in these posts, and hearing your takes on it always makes me rethink how I may react to certain situations. And they're funny as fuck

it's one thing to say "I just don't have the level of mental fortitude required to be your sounding board, it's literally a me issue, I'm sorry" and another to say "if you have problems at work I don't wanna hear about it because it pisses me off too much".

that 'what a bitch.' on the first story is a LEGENDARY nl moment.

If you're deathly allergic to tomatoes and you're ordering something with lettuce and onions you should probably mention it

Giving someone a half-eaten burger and using the skills you've honed in college to paint a wall in an aesthetically pleasing way, are pretty different things. So I don't think the analogy really works.

5:30 Every time NL does one of these videos I imagine the OP doing this exact thing, parading around their internet points towards the people who disagreed with them.

I would need to know exactly what the op is allergic to in tomatoes because Tomato allergies are usually because of Alkaloids which are also in peppers. If she's allergic to alkaloids then she shouldn't be fine with eating peppers and is either stupid or just doesn't like them( which is fine but should just be honest rather making it out like she could have been seriously sick). If it is because of something that is just in the Tomato's then the Diner is the asshole. I Need more Info

Where were you when Supreme Judge Egg unrolled the constitution of co-driving?

On the first story: If someone has mental health issues and has identified what causes them to be worse, they shouldn't be labeled as an asshole for not wanting to let that be in their life. People who think like this with a "suck it up" mentality have obviously never struggled to maintain their own mental health. I get that you have to make some assumptions when reading these stories, but that one could be distilled to: my wife had a "habit" that drove me to get medical attention because it was severely affecting my health. It became bad enough that we got a divorce. Now my adult daughter has the same "habit" around me. Am I the asshole for telling my daughter to stop that "habit" around me. If the "habit" was smoking I really doubt he would have said that the guy was the asshole.

The content? Spicy. The pog level? Out of it's gourd. The host? Egg. This is: React Court

"AITA for telling people who are venting to nut up or shut up?"

I watched NL for around 10 years now, I'm loving the new kind of content. Keep it coming dude!

I wanna get real real quick. I am a bit of a pushover and will play whatever music makes the passengers most happy most of the time, but whenever I am in somebody elses car, they are very strict about what they'll change the song to. Some of them only like hardcore (trash) rap, some of them house music, some rock, but all of them completely unopen to broadening their pallet. I usually get annoyed by this, but still. It IS their car, they CAN play their music, and should be able to do so without causing an argument great enough to warrant an AITA post.

my dad passed away in july and we were estranged for many years prior to his death; hearing nl say that bit about the reality of the parent is based on the perception of the child really hit me. i'm also very high rn lmao but idk when he said that i felt heard in a way that felt nice. thanks, nl

the First guy is so unaware is hilarious

Reddit: "Food Allergies" NL: "Not the asshole!" Throwback to before Dairy Queen man made his debut

The problem with the first dude is that he tried, but failed at being emotional support. His wife even set up the rules, and they didn't work. He either needs a better therapist, or his relatives should accept that he's only capable of suggesting solutions.

This really is the most NL content ever and I love it.

Whoever asks AITA, yes, yes you are.

I will say if your allergic to a common food item... such as tomato, you should probably advise them before making the order. And do this regardless if they state the ingredient or not.

honestly, the guy with anger issues, yeah he is the asshole but the idea of separating venting time during walks and solution based talks at home to provide a physicals distance between things that might feel triggering for him is not a strange idea at all, honestly I feel like NL giving a kind of mocking reaction to that part by itself is kind of a dick move XD Like, good for you that you have your mental health in order, some people need to set boundaries like that which might seem a little strange to the outside world... Now, do I feel like the guy is probably misrepresenting the situation to make himself look better? probably, but still, I dont think we should scoff at people for trying to come up with ways to improve their mental health. same ( to a lesser extend) for the part about the daughter warning him if she just wants to vent. like, yeah he should probably be able to pick up on that himself but if he is bad at picking up social cues and the daughter was the one to suggest it (so he isn't forcing things onto her), can't we just be happy that this family has solutions for the difficulties they have? besides, NL takes it as the dad being able to say " no not right now" while it probably is more so he knows what he is getting into and is mentally prepared. TLDR ; No hate to NL but the " you're not doing this the normal way that I do them" attitude here kind of annoys me, even though I am aware that IS partly what this whole series is to begin with.

I don't feel like the one who called her sister a failure as a mother was the first to go nuclear - she got called a bigot first, which is a pretty heavy accusation.