Thank you for sharing. Accountability in making decision such as transition are huge and a big part of it as well.

Great points.

Same problem here.

I think it's really, really interesting how you point out that the people who say it's too late are the same people who MAKE IT too late to begin with. That's something I've never considered and will have to think on. Thank you for that insight. And I think that that really sheds light onto why it's SO important what Dr. Z was saying about trusting your inner self and sense of knowing over external influences. I heard a great counter-argument to the "you're too young to know what you want" garbage a couple of months ago, which is this: did it take THEM 20 to 30 years to figure out THEIR gender? Does it take a cis man until well into his adult years to "know" that he's not a woman? Does it take a cis woman well into her adult years to "know" that she's not a man? It's like when someone says something racist, but they don't know it's racist, and it's like, "Well, if you replaced 'white' with 'black', does that still sound okay?" It's that same kind of fallacy. If you replace 'trans' with 'cis', does it still sound okay? "Oh, you're only 19, you're still too young to know that you're cis. Give it time. You might actually be trans." Doesn't that sound absolutely fucking ridiculous? The truth is, it's ridiculous in both directions. It's equally as ridiculous to say, "Oh, you're only 19, you're still too young to know that you're trans. Give it time. You might actually be cis." The only difference is that we've been socially conditioned to view the latter as acceptable. Also, 32 is definitely not too young to transition. I had the same concern when *I* was 32, and a friend showed me this pornstar who transitioned at 35, and she looked AMAZING. I'm 35 now and doing everything I can to finally get started with my own transition. I'm still terrified to wait any longer than 35, though, because I'm worried about my ability to come out the other side of the transition "passing" if I wait any longer, but I promise you that, if that's your same concern, then 32 is absolutely not too old to start. But that's all related to transwomen. If you're a transman (you didn't specify, so idk), well, as far as I can tell, there doesn't seem to be any upper cap on when they can come out the other end of transition passing. I think every transman I've ever seen, even ones who transitioned in their SIXTIES, ALL end up passing after a couple of years. I'm also being given the "you didn't show any signs" treatment by family like you, but let's be real. They don't know dick about dick. They don't know what "the signs" even are. What are they, specialists now? As far as they're concerned, nothing would be acceptable as "signs" unless it was at least as overt as "trying to go to school crossdressed, telling everyone you meet at age 5 that you're a girl, and trying to take scissors to your genitals when you were little". It has to be sledgehammer-tier blunt like that for these people before they'll say "there were signs". But, like, yeah, no shit they didn't see any signs. They weren't LOOKING for any, and we were HIDING our true selves... to appease THEM! That's the whole-ass POINT! And transitioning won't make you magically lose all of your academic experience. It's not like rolling a new character in a video game and you need to level up all over again. It doesn't work like that. You don't have to redo all your schooling just because you transitioned. That might actually be one of the most ridiculous anti-transition arguments I've ever heard. And I don't know what the frig they mean whey they say, "you'll permanently leave a trail back to you". What the hell does that even mean? Do they think it's a crime to be trans or something? I mean, maybe if you live in Egypt or something, but I'm guessing that's probably not the case. Also, what I'm about to say is maybe kind of nuanced, and some people might think it doesn't matter, but I think it's important that it's (probably) not that they "want us to be miserable". They want us to be happy, but they want us to be happy THE WAY they want us to be happy. They're prioritizing THEIR IDEA OF US over the actual real us, OR they're prioritizing their idea of WHO WE OUGHT TO BE over the actual us (very common in religious circles), and the real us is someone they don't know, because how could they? We've hidden it from them for so long. You're right when you say they don't want us to be ourselves, though. They want us to be "THEIR ourselves", if that makes sense. They want us to be who they IMAGINE us to be. And that elevation of their idea of us over the real us unfortunately has the NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF making us miserable. They don't directly desire our misery. They want us to "just not be trans". Which is the exact same rhetoric and perspective as the ignorant-af "just don't be gay" or "just don't be poor" copout nonsense that people have been spouting for decades, just wrapped up in a new little transflag-themed bow for the 21st century, because they think in their ignorance that this is a CHOICE-that this is something we're CHOOSING TO DO TO THEM. Our misery is a SYMPTOM OF what they want for us, it's not the root desire itself. I know that that might seem like a trivial distinction, since the end result is kind of mostly the same for us either way, but I think it's important to know where people are coming from. Now, that said, there certainly ARE people out there who really DO want us to be miserable, like the politicians trying to legislate us out of existence, and the Matt Walshes of the world, but it's usually not our families. Our families are usually just ignorant and/or selfish as opposed to malicious.

Yep; I'm 43 and began DIY medical transition in 2001, only to stop in the face of intense familial pressure from mother. I'm also a research academic but, despite picking up an award for my PhD (in gender/sex & visual studies), I have been at a standstill since 2010. While I've survived, living in autopilot has been less than ideal and the costs have been considerable. However, my loving and beautiful wife supports my journey of gender affirmation. She can see how much misery and honest self-reflection has brought me to the point where I can now proudly say that I am a trans femme. After years of malaise, I am fully prepared to work hard to become the woman I must be. I must go at a slow and steady pace to bring my wife on the journey. However, I am looking forward to discovering what lay in store.

Hi! Yes, sounds like I can make a great solo video on this one.

Thanks for sharing.

Thank you for posing an important question. I added to Q&A

Glad you didn't let excuses hold you down.

Hi, thank you for sharing your input. I have added your question to Q&A, it is def something I can answer.

I am so with you on this!

Wish you all the best.

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best!

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for sharing and for posting a great question. Added to Q&A.

Thanks for sharing.

Hope the answer offered some insight.

Glad you like them!

Glad you liked it!

Ahhhh I am here for you and happy to be of support.

Thanks!

@@DRZPHD You welcome.

Thanks for sharing.

Hope it helped.

Hi, not sure what you mean, as its my the same old mascara.

Sorry to hear.

Wishing you all the best.

Many feel this way.

Hi. Your chromosomal arrangement denotes sex designation. I do not believe gender equals sex.

Pretty much all of that. Also I think that experiences can vary pretty widely across the spectrum of trans people. Not everyone comes from the same background or socioeconomic circumstances. Not everyone has the same experiences growing up in terms of how they were socialized or what things influenced them. Ignorant people will try to hem us in and say because you were born as X then your experiences all conform to that and thus you can never really be a woman or a man or whatever and that’s just transphobic garbage at it’s heart. Many trans people never fit that well in to the boxes we were born in to begin with. Many of us felt like we were never a girl or a boy or didn’t know what we were for a long time. Or we felt othered even when we didn’t know why.

Hi. By male or female traits I mean physical secondary characteristics due to puberty that are stereotypically seen as male or female. A lot of what you are describing is gender role/expression which varies far and large across people. Traits vary too.

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

Thanks for sharing.

Julia Serano wrote a book on this, it's much deeper than that, it relates to the oppression of women on this planet and our judgment of our most authentic nature related to our sexuality, which is most obviously examplified by many women, not all, but also sex, or sex work, we judge and are most uncomfortable around the areas of sex where our shame and guilt is buried and often stems from. It points the finger back at our judgmental society that is projecting its unhealed fears and shame onto those who have processed their fears and shame and live openly as their true authentic selves despite it. This also relates to all those statements from various holistic healers over the years saying that trans people are here to help liberate this world from its self-enslavement thanks to these repressed emotions that we used to keep hidden inside, and which contributed to the sexism, dehumanization, bigotry and racism within a society that has become so emotionally and spiritually dead and fragmented. I may have splilled the beans here for those who didnt know this yet, but yes this is true, this is why trans people are so important in this world among many others who have had the courage to transcend their shame, fear, and sexual repression, many sex workers are amongst those as well. This is why those who have repressed these emotions tend to get addicted, judgmental or violent towards those who trigger that shame within them, they are not psychologically balanced, and surrendered to their true beingness.